’Well，well！’saidMrGibson，seeingthathewastobeworsted，andnotcaringenoughaboutthemattertoshowfight。’Perhapsyouareright。
It’sacaseofluxuryversusfreshair。Somepeoplesuffermorefromthewantofonethanfromwantoftheother。YouknowIshallbegladtoseeherifshelikestocome，andtakeusasweare，butIcan’tgiveuptheconsulting—room。It’sanecessity；ourdailybread！’
’I’llwriteandtellthemhowkindMrGibsonis，’saidhiswifeinhighcontentment，asherhusbandlefttheroom。’They’llbejustasmuchobligedtohimasifshehadcome！’
WhetheritwasHelen’sillness，orfromsomeothercause，afterbreakfastCynthiabecameveryflatandabsent，andthislastedalldaylong；Mollyunderstoodnowwhyhermoodshadbeensochangeableformanymonths，andwastenderandforbearingwithheraccordingly。Towardseveningwhenthetwogirlswereleftalone，CynthiacameandstoodoverMolly，sothatherfacecouldnotbeseen。
’Molly，’saidshe，’willyoudoit？Willyoudowhatyousaidlastnight？
Ihavebeenthinkingofitallday，andsometimesIbelievehewouldgiveyoubackthelettersifyouaskedhim；hemightfancy—atanyrateit’sworthtrying，ifyoudon’tverymuchdislikeit。’
Nowitsohappenedthatwitheverythoughtshehadgiventoit，MollydislikedtheideaoftheproposedinterviewwithMr！Prestonmoreandmore；
butitwasafterallherownoffer，andsheneithercouldnorwoulddrawbackfromit；itmightdogood；shedidnotseehowitcouldpossiblydoharm。Soshegaveherconsent，andtriedtoconcealherdistaste，whichgrewuponhermoreandmoreasCynthiahastilyarrangedthedetails。
’YoushallmeethimintheavenueleadingfromtheparklodgeuptotheTowers。Hecancomeinoneway，fromtheTowers，wherehehasoftenbusiness—hehaspass—keyseverywhere—youcangoinaswehaveoftendonebythelodge—youneednotgofar。’
ItdidstrikeMollythatCynthiamusthavehadsomeexperienceinmakingallthesearrangements；andshedidventuretoaskhowhewastobeinformedofallthis？Cynthiaonlyreddened，andreplied，’Oh！nevermind！Hewillonlybetoogladtocome；youheardhimsayhewishedtodiscusstheaffairmore；itisthefirsttimetheappointmenthascomefrommyside。IfI
canbutoncebefree—oh，Molly，Iwillloveyou，andbegratefultoyouallmylife！’
MollythoughtofRoger，andthatthoughtpromptedhernextspeech。
’Itmustbehorrible—IthinkI’mverybrave—butIdon’tthinkI
couldhave—couldhaveacceptedevenRoger，withahalf—cancelledengagementhangingoverme。’Sheblushedasshespoke。
’YouforgethowIdetestMrPreston！’saidCynthia。’Itwasthat，morethananyexcessofloveforRoger，thatmademethankfultobeatleastassecurelypledgedtosomeoneelse。Hedidnotwanttocallitanengagement，butIdid；becauseitgavemethefeelingofassurancethatIwasfreefromMrPreston。AndsoIam！allbuttheseletters。Oh！ifyoucanbutmakehimtakebackhisabominablemoney，andgetmemyletters。Thenwewouldburyitallinoblivion，andhecouldmarrysomebodyelse，andI
wouldmarryRoger，andnoonewouldbethewiser。Afterallitwasonlywhatpeoplecall\"youthfulfolly。\"AndyoumaytellMrPrestonthatassoonashemakesmyletterspublic，showsthemtoyourfatheroranything，I’llgoawayfromHollingford，andnevercomeback——’
Loadedwithmanysuchmessages，whichshefeltthatsheshouldneverdeliver，notreallyknowingwhatsheshouldsay，hatingtheerrand，notsatisfiedwithCynthia’smannerofspeakingaboutherrelationstoRoger，oppressedwithshameandcomplicityinconductwhichappearedtoherdeceitful，yetwillingtobearallandbraveall，ifshecouldoncesetCynthiainastraightpath—inaclearspace，andalmostmorepitifultoherfriend’sgreatdistressandpossibledisgrace，thanabletogiveherthatlovewhichinvolvesperfectsympathy，Mollysetoutonherwalktowardstheappointedplace。Itwasacloudyblusteringday，andthenoiseoftheblowingwindamongthenearlyleaflessbranchesofthegreattreesfilledherears，asshepassedthroughthepark—gatesandenteredtheavenue。Shewalkedquickly，instinctivelywishingtogetherbloodup，andhavenotimeforthought。Buttherewasabendintheavenueaboutaquarterofamilefromthelodge；afterthatbenditwasastraightlineuptothegreathouse，nowemptiedofitsinhabitants。Mollydidnotlikegoingquiteoutofsightofthelodge，andshestoodfacingit，closebythetrunkofoneofthetrees。Presentlysheheardastepcomingoverthegrass。ItwasMrPreston。
Hesawawoman’sfigure，half—behindthetrunkofatree，andmadenodoubtthatitwasCynthia。Butwhenhecamenearer，almostclose，thefigureturnedround，and，insteadofthebrilliantlycolouredfaceofCynthia，hemetthepaleresolvedlookofMolly。Shedidnotspeaktogreethim，butthoughhefeltsurefromthegeneralaspectofpallorandtimiditythatshewasafraidofhim，hersteadygreyeyesmethiswithcourageousinnocence。
’IsCynthiaunabletocome？’askedhe，perceivingthatsheexpectedhim。
’Ididnotknowyouthoughtthatyoushouldmeether，’saidMolly，alittlesurprised。InhersimplicityshehadbelievedthatCynthiahadnamedthatitwasshe，MollyGibson，whowouldmeetMrPrestonatagiventimeandplace；butCynthiahadbeentooworldly—wiseforthat，andhaddecoyedhimthitherbyavaguelywordednote，which，whileavoidingactualfalsehood，hadledhimtobelievethatsheherselfwouldgivehimthemeeting。
’Shesaidsheshouldbehere，’saidMrPreston，extremelyannoyedatbeingentrappedashenowfeltthathehadbeen，intoaninterviewwithMissGibson。Mollyhesitatedalittlebeforeshespoke。Hewasdeterminednottobreakthesilence；asshehadintrudedherselfintotheaffair，sheshouldfindhersituationasawkwardaspossible。
’Atanyrateshesentmeheretomeetyou，’saidMolly。’Shehastoldmeexactlyhowmattersstandbetweenyouandher。’
’Hasshe？’sneeredhe。’Sheisnotalwaysthemostopenorreliablepersonintheworld！’
Mollyreddened。Sheperceivedtheimpertinenceofthetone；andhertemperwasnoneofthecoolest。Butshemasteredherselfandgainedcouragebysodoing。
’Youshouldnotspeaksoofthepersonyouprofesstowishtohaveforyourwife。Butputtingallthataside，youhavesomelettersofhersthatshewishestohavebackagain。’
’Idaresay。’
’Andthatyouhavenorighttokeep。’
’Nolegal，ornomoralright？whichdoyoumean？’
’Idonotknow；simplyyouhavenorightatall，asagentleman，tokeepagirl’sletterswhensheasksforthembackagain，muchlesstoholdthemoverherasathreat。’
’Iseeyoudoknowall，MissGibson，’saidhe，changinghismannertooneofmorerespect。’Atleastshehastoldyouherstoryfromherpointofview，herside；nowyoumusthearmine。Shepromisedmeassolemnlyaseverwoman——’
’Shewasnotawoman，shewasonlyagirl，barelysixteen。’
’Oldenoughtoknowwhatshewasdoing；butI’llcallheragirlifyoulike。Shepromisedmesolemnlytobemywife，makingtheonestipulationofsecrecy，andacertainperiodofwaiting；shewrotemelettersrepeatingthispromise，andconfidentialenoughtoprovethatsheconsideredherselfboundtomebysuchanimpliedrelation。Idon’tgiveintohumbug—I
don’tsetmyselfupasasaint—andinmostwaysIcanlookaftermyowninterestsprettykeenly；youknowenoughofherpositionasapennilessgirl，andatthattime，withnoinfluentialconnectionstotaketheplaceofwealth，andhelpmeonintheworld，itwasassincereandunworldlyapassionasevermanfelt；shemustsaysoherself。Imighthavemarriedtwoorthreegirlswithplentyofmoney；oneofthemwashandsomeenough，andnotatallreluctant。’
Mollyinterruptedhim；shewaschafedattheconceitofhismanner。
’Ibegyourpardon，butIdonotwanttohearaccountsofyoungladieswhomyoumighthavemarried；IcomeheresimplyonbehalfofCynthia，whodoesnotlikeyou，andwhodoesnotwishtomarryyou。’
’Well，thenImustmakeher\"like\"me，asyoucallit。Shedid\"like\"
meonce，andmadepromiseswhichshewillfinditrequirestheconsentoftwopeopletobreak。Idon’tdespairofmakingherlovemeasmuchasevershedid，accordingtoherletters，atleast，whenwearemarried。’
’Shewillnevermarryyou，’saidMolly，firmly。
’Thenifsheeverhonoursanyoneelsewithherpreference，heshallbeallowedtheperusalofherletterstome。’
Mollyalmostcouldhavelaughed；shewassosecureandcertainthatRogerwouldneverreadlettersofferedtohimunderthesecircumstances；
butthenshethoughtthathewouldfeelsuchpainatthewholeaffair，andatthecontactwithMrPreston，especiallyifhehadnotheardofitfromCynthiafirst，andifshe，Molly，couldsavehimpainshewould。Beforeshecouldsettlewhattosay，MrPrestonspokeagain。
’YousaidtheotherdaythatCynthiawasengaged。MayIaskwhomto？’
’No，’saidMolly，’youmaynot。Youheardhersayitwasnotanengagement。
Itisnotexactly；andifitwereafullengagement，doyouthink，afterwhatyoulastsaid，Ishouldtellyoutowhom？Butyoumaybesureofthis，hewouldneverreadalineofyourletters。Heistoo—No！Iwon’tspeakofhimbeforeyou。Youcouldneverunderstandhim。’
’Itseemstomethatthismysterious\"he\"isaveryfortunatepersontohavesuchawarmdefenderinMissGibson，towhomheisnotatallengaged，’
saidMrPreston，withsodisagreeablealookonhisfacethatMollysuddenlyfoundherselfonthepointofburstingintotears。Butsheralliedherself，andworkedon—forCynthiafirst，andforRogeraswell。
’Nohonourablemanorwomanwillreadyourletters，andifanypeopledoreadthem，theywillbesomuchashamedofitthattheywon’tdaretospeakofthem。Whatusecantheybeoftoyou？’
’TheycontainCynthia’sreiteratedpromisesofmarriage，’repliedhe。
’ShesaysshewouldratherleaveHollingfordforever，andgoouttoearnherbread，thanmarryyou。’
Hisfacefellalittle。HelookedsobitterlymortifiedthatMollywasalmostsorryforhim。
’Doesshesaythattoyouincoldblood？Doyouknowyouaretellingmeveryhardtruths，MissGibson？—iftheyaretruths，thatistosay，’
hecontinued，recoveringhimselfalittle。’Youngladiesareveryfondofthewords\"hate\"and\"detest。\"Ihaveknownmanywhohaveappliedthemtomenwhomtheywereallthetimehopingtomarry。’
’Icannottellaboutotherpeople，’saidMolly，’IonlyknowthatCynthiadoes—’Hereshehesitatedforamoment；shefellforhispain，andsoshehesitated；butthenshebroughtitout，—’doesasnearlyhateyouasanybodylikehereverdoeshate。’
’Likeher？’saidhe，repeatingthewordsalmostunconsciously，seizingonanythingtotryandhidehismortification。
’Imean，Ishouldhateworse，’saidMollyinalowvoice。
Buthedidnotattendmuchtoheranswer。Hewasworkingthepointofhisstickintotheturf，andhiseyeswerebentonit。
’Sonowwouldyoumindsendingherbackthelettersbyme？Idoassureyouthatyoucannotmakehermarryyou。’
’Youareverysimple，MissGibson，’saidhe，suddenlyliftinguphishead。’Isupposethatyoudon’tknowthatthereisanyotherfeelingthatcanbegratified，exceptinglove。Haveyouneverheardofrevenge？Cynthiahadcajoledmewithpromises，andlittleasyouorshemaybelieveme—
well，it’sofnousespeakingofthat。Idon’tmeantolethergounpunished。
Youmaytellherthat。Ishallkeeptheletters，andmakeuseofthemasIseefitwhentheoccasionarises。’
Mollywasmiserablyangrywithherselfforhermismanagementoftheaffair。Shehadhopedtosucceed：shehadonlymademattersworse。Whatnewargumentcouldsheuse？Meanwhilehewenton，lashinghimselfupashethoughthowthetwogirlsmusthavetalkedhimover，bringinginwoundedvanitytoaddtotherageofdisappointedlove。
’MrOsborneHamleymayhearoftheircontents，thoughhemaybetoohonourabletoreadthem。Nay，evenyourfathermayhearwhispers；andifIrememberthemrightly，MissCynthiaKirkpatrickdoesnotalwaysspeakinthemostrespectfultermsoftheladywhoisnowMrsGibson。Thereare——’
’Stop，’saidMolly。’Iwon’thearanythingoutoftheseletters，written，whenshewasalmostwithoutfriends，toyouwhomshelookeduponasafriend！
ButIhavethoughtofwhatIwilldonext。Igiveyoufairwarning。IfIhadnotbeenfoolishIshouldhavetoldmyfather，butCynthiamademepromisethatIwouldnot。SoIwilltellitall，frombeginningtoend，toLadyHarriet，andaskhertospeaktoherfather。Ifeelsurethatshewilldoit；andIdon’tthinkyouwilldaretorefuseLordCumnor。’
Hefeltatoncethatheshouldnotdare；that，cleverland—agentashewas，andhighupintheearl’sfavouronthataccount，yetthattheconductofwhichhehadbeenguiltyabouttheseletters，andthethreatswhichhehadheldoutaboutthem，werejustwhatnogentleman，nohonourableman，nomanlyman，couldputupwithinanyoneabouthim。Heknewthatmuch，andhewonderedhowshe，thegirlstandingbeforehim，hadbeencleverenoughtofinditout。Heforgothimselfforaninstantinadmirationofher。Thereshestood，frightened，yetbrave，notlettinggoherholdonwhatshemeanttodo，evenwhenthingsseemedmostagainsther；andbesides，therewassomethingthatstruckhimmostofallperhaps，andwhichshowsthekindofmanhewas—heperceivedthatMollywasasunconsciousthathewasayoungman，andsheayoungwoman，asifshehadbeenapureangelofheaven。Thoughhefeltthathewouldhavetoyield，andgiveuptheletters，hewasnotgoingtodoitatonce；andwhilehewasthinkingwhattosaysoasstilltoevademakinganyconcessiontillhehadhadtimetothinkoverit，he，withhisquicksensesallabouthim，heardthetrottingofahorsecranchingquicklyalongoverthegravelofthedrive。Amomentafterwards，Molly’sperceptionovertookhis。Hecouldseethestartledlookoverspreadherface；andinaninstantshewouldhaverunaway，butbeforethefirstrushwasmade，MrPrestonlaidhishandfirmlyonherarm。
’Keepquiet。Youmustbeseen。You，atanyrate，havedonenothingtobeashamedof。’
AshespokeMrSheepshankscameroundthebendoftheroadandwascloseuponthem。MrPrestonsaw，ifMollydidnot，thesuddenlookofintelligencethatdawnedupontheshrewdruddyfaceoftheoldgentleman—saw，butdidnotmuchheed。HewentforwardsandspoketoMrSheepshanks，whomadeahaltrightbeforethem。
’MissGibson！yourservant！Ratherablusteringdayforayoungladytobeout，andcold，Ishouldsay，forstandingstilltoolong；eh，Preston？’
pokinghiswhipatthelatterinaknowingmanner。
’Yes，’saidMrPreston；’andI’mafraidIhavekeptMissGibsontoolongstanding。’
Mollydidnotknowwhattosayordo；sosheonlybowedasilentfarewell，andturnedawaytogohome，feelingveryheavyatheartatthenon—successofherundertaking。Forshedidnotknowhowshehadconquered，infact，althoughMrPrestonmightnotasyetacknowledgeiteventohimself。Beforeshewasoutofhearing，sheheardMrSheepshankssay，—
’Sorrytohavedisturbedyourtê；te—？tê；te，Preston，’butthoughsheheardthewords，theirimpliedsensedidnotsinkintohermind；
shewasonlyfeelinghowshehadgoneoutgloriousandconfident，andwascomingbacktoCynthiadefeated。PrCynthiawasonthewatchforherreturn，and，rushingdownstairs，draggedMollyintothedining—room。
’Well，Molly？Oh！Iseeyouhavenotgotthem。Afterall，Ineverexpectedit。’Shesatedown，asifshecouldgetoverherdisappointmentbetterinthatposition，andMollystoodlikeaguiltypersonbeforeher。
’Iamsosorry；IdidallIcould；wewereinterruptedatlast—MrSheepshanksrodeup。’
’Provokingoldman！Doyouthinkyoushouldhavepersuadedhimtogiveupthelettersifyouhadhadmoretime？’
’Idon’tknow。IwishMrSheepshankshadnotcomejustthen。IdidnotlikehisfindingmestandingtalkingtoMrPreston。’
’Oh！Idaresayhewouldneverthinkanythingaboutit。Whatdidhe—
MrPreston—say？’
’Heseemedtothinkyouwerefullyengagedtohim，andthattheselettersweretheonlyproofhehad。Ithinkhelovesyouinhisway。’
’Hisway，indeed！’saidCynthia，scornfully。
’ThemoreIthinkofit，themoreIseeitwouldbebetterforpapatospeaktohim。IdidsayIwouldtellitalltoLadyHarriet，andgetLordCumnortomakehimgiveuptheletters。Butitwouldbeveryawkward。’
’Very！’saidCynthia，gloomily。’Buthewouldseeitwasonlyathreat。’
’ButIwilldoitinamoment，ifyoulike。ImeantwhatIsaid；onlyIfeelthatpapawouldmanageitbestofall，andmoreprivately。’
’I’lltellyouwhat，Molly；you’reboundbyapromise，youknow，andcannottellMrGibsonwithoutbreakingyoursolemnword；butit’sjustthis。I’llleaveHollingfordandnevercomebackagain，ifeveryourfatherhearsofthisaffair；there！’Cynthiastoodupnow，andbegantofoldupMolly’sshawl，inhernervousexcitement。
’Oh，Cynthia—Roger！’wasallthatMollysaid。
’Yes，Iknow！youneednotremindmeofhim。ButI’mnotgoingtoliveinthehousewithanyonewhomaybealwayscastingupinhismindthethingshehadheardagainstme—things—faults，perhaps—whichsoundsomuchworsethantheyreallyare。IwassohappywhenIfirstcamehere：
youalllikedme，andadmiredme，andthoughtwellofme，andnow——Why，Molly，Icanseethedifferenceinyoualready。Youcarryyourthoughtsinyourface—Ihavereadthemtherethesetwodays—you’vebeenthinking，\"HowCynthiamusthavedeceivedme；keepingupacorrespondenceallthistime—havinghalf—engagementstotwomen。\"You’vebeenmorefullofthatthanofpityformeasagirlwhohasalwaysbeenobligedtomanageforherself，withoutanyfriendtohelpherandprotecther。’
Mollywassilent。TherewasagreatdealoftruthinwhatCynthiawassaying；andyetagreatdealoffalsehood。For，throughallthislongforty—eighthours，MollyhadlovedCynthiadearly；andhadbeenmoreweigheddownbythepositionthelatterwasinthanCynthiaherself。Shealsoknew—butthiswasasecondthoughtfollowingontheother—thatshehadsufferedmuchpainintryingtodoherbestinthisinterviewwithMrPreston。Shehadbeentriedbeyondherstrength；andthegreattearswelledupintohereyes，andfellslowlydownhercheeks。
’Oh！whatabruteIam，’saidCynthia，kissingthemaway。’Isee—I
knowitisthetruth，andIdeserveit—butIneednotreproachyou。’
’Youdidnotreproachme！’saidMolly，tryingtosmile。’Ihavethoughtsomeofwhatyousaid—butIdoloveyoudearly—dearly，Cynthia—I
shouldhavedonejustthesameasyoudid。’
’No，youwouldnot。Yourgrainisdifferent，somehow。’
chapter45
CHAPTERXLVCONFIDENCES
AlltherestofthatdayMollywasdepressedandnotwell。Havinganythingtoconcealwassounusual—almostsounprecedentedacircumstancewithherthatitpreyeduponherineveryway。
Itwasanightmarethatshecouldnotshakeoff；shedidsowishtoforgetitall，andyeteverylittleoccurrenceseemedtoremindherofit。Thenextmorning’spostbroughtseveralletters；onefromRogerforCynthia，andMolly，letterlessherself，lookedatCynthiaasshereadit，withwistfulsadness；itappearedtoMollyasthoughCynthiashouldhavenosatisfactionintheseletters，untilshehadtoldhimwhatwasherexactpositionwithMrPreston；yetCynthiawascolouringanddimplingupasshealwaysdidatanyprettywordsofpraise，oradmiration，orlove。ButMolly’sthoughtsandCynthia’sreadingwerebothinterruptedbyalittletriumphantsoundfromMrsGibson，asshepushedalettershehadjustreceivedtoherhusband，witha，—
’There！ImustsayIexpectedthat！’Then，turningtoCynthia，sheexplained，—’ItisaletterfromuncleKirkpatrick，love。Sokind，wishingyoutogoandstaywiththem，andhelpthemtocheerupHelen；poorHelen！Iamafraidsheisveryfarfromwell。Butwecouldnothavehadherhere，withoutdisturbingdearpapainhisconsulting—room；and，thoughIcouldhaverelinquishedmydressing—room—he—well！soIsaidinmyletterhowyouweregrieved—youaboveallofus，becauseyouaresuchafriendofHelen’s，youknow—andhowyoulongedtobeofuse，—asIamsureyoudo—andsonowtheywantyoutogoupdirectly，forHelenhasquitesetherheartuponit。’
Cynthia’seyessparkled。’Ishalllikegoing，’saidshe，—’allbutleavingyou，Molly，’sheadded，inalowertone，asifsuddenlysmittenwithsomecompunction。
’Canyoubereadytogoupbythe\"Bang—up\"to—night？’saidMrGibson，’for，curiouslyenough，aftermorethantwentyyearsofquietpracticeatHollingford，Iamsummonedupto—dayforthefirsttimetoaconsultationinLondon，to—morrow。IamafraidLadyCumnorisworse，mydear。’
’Youdon’tsayso？Poordearlady！Whatashockitistome。I’msogladI’vehadsomebreakfast。Icouldnothaveeatenanything。’
’Nay，Ionlysaysheisworse。Withhercomplaint，beingworsemaybeonlyapreliminarytobeingbetter。Don’ttakemywordsformorethantheirliteralmeaning。’
’Thankyou。Howkindandreassuringdearpapaalwaysis。Aboutyourgowns，Cynthia？’
’Oh，theyareallright，mamma，thankyou。Ishallbequitereadybyfouro’clock。Molly，willyoucomewithmeandhelpmetopack？Iwantedtospeaktoyou，dear，’saidshe，assoonastheyhadgoneupstairs。’Itissucharelieftogetawayfromaplacehauntedbythatman；butI’mafraidyouthoughtIwasgladtoleaveyou；andindeedIamnot。’Therewasalittleflavourof’protestingtoomuch’aboutthis；butMollydidnotperceiveit。Sheonlysaid，’IndeedIdidnot。Iknowfrommyownfeelingshowyoumustdislikemeetingamaninpublicinadifferentmannerfromwhatyouhavedoneinprivate。IshalltrynottoseeMrPrestonagainforalong，longtime，I’msure。AndHelenKirkpatrick—ButCynthia，youhavenottoldmeonewordoutofRoger’sletter。Pleasehowishe？Hashequitegotoverhisattackoffever？’
’Yes，quite。Hewritesinverygoodspirits。Agreatdealaboutbirdsandbeasts，asusual，andhabitsofnatives，andthingsofthatkind。Youmayreadfromthere’—indicatingaplaceintheletter—’tothere，ifyoucan；andI’lltellyouwhat，I’lltrustyouwithit，Molly，whileI
pack（andthatshowsmysenseofyourhonour，notbutwhatyoumightreaditall，onlyyou’dfindthelove—makingdull）；butmakealittleaccountofwhereheis，andwhatheisdoing，date，andthatsortofthing，andsendittohisfather。’
