第10章

类别:其他 作者:Olive Schreiner字数:9865更新时间:19/01/07 15:11:14
ginningtostudymeclosely,soonswungmeintoactiveworkwithher,ofwhich,later,Ishallhavemuchtosay。ButbeforetakingupasubjectasabsorbingtomeasmyfriendshipforandassociationwiththemostwonderfulwomanIhaveeverknown,itmaybeinterestingtorecordafewofmypioneerexperiencesinthelecture—field。 Inthosedays——thirtyyearsago——thelecturebu— reauswerewhollyregardlessofthecomfortoftheirlecturers。Theyarrangedascheduleofengagementswithexactlyoneideainmind——togetthelecturerfromonelecture—pointtothenext,utterlyregardlessofwhethershehadtimebetweenforrestorfoodorsleep。Soithappenedthatall—nightjourneysinfreight—cars,engines,andcabooseswerecasualcom— monplaces,whilethirtyandfortymiledrivesacrossthecountryinblizzardsandbittercoldwereequallyinevitable。Usuallythesethingsdidnottroubleme。TheywerehighadventureswhichIenjoyedatthetimeandafterwardlovedtorecall。Buttherewasanoccasionalhiatusinmyoptimism。 Onenight,forexample,afterlecturinginatowninOhio,itwasnecessarytodriveeightmilesacrosscountrytoatinyrailroadstationatwhichatrain,passingabouttwoo’clockinthemorning,wastobeflaggedforme。Whenwereachedthestationitwasclosed,butmydriverdepositedmeontheplatformanddroveaway,leavingmealone。Thenightwascoldandverydark。AlldayIhadbeenfeelingillandintheeveninghadsufferedsomuchpainthatIhadfinishedmylecturewithgreatdifficulty。Nowtowardmidnight,inthisdesolatespot,milesfromanyhouse,Igrewalarminglyworse。Iamnoteasilyfrightened,butthattimeIwassureIwasgoingtodie。Offinthedarkness,veryfaraway,asitseemed,Isawafaintlight,andwithinfiniteeffortIdraggedmyselftowardit。Towalk,eventostand,wasimpossible;Icrawledalongtherailroadtrack,collapsing,resting,goingonagain,whippingmywillpowertothetaskofkeepingmybrainclear,untilafteranightmarethatseemedtolastthroughcenturiesIlayacrossthedooroftheswitch—towerinwhichthelightwasburning。TheswitchmanstationedthereheardthecryIwasabletoutter,andcametomyassistance。Hecarriedmeuptohissignal—roomandlaidmeonthefloorbythestove; hehadnothingtogivemeexceptwarmthandshel— ter;butthesewerenowallIasked。Isankintoacomatoseconditionshotthroughwithpain。Tow— ardtwoo’clockinthemorninghewakedmeandtoldmemytrainwascoming,askingifIfeltabletotakeit。Idecidedtomaketheeffort。Hedarednotleavehisposttohelpme,buthesignaledtothetrain,andIbeganmyprogressbacktothestation。 IneverclearlyrememberedhowIgotthere;butIarrivedandwashelpedintoacarbyabrakeman。 Aboutfouro’clockinthemorningIhadtochangeagain,butthistimeIwasleftatthestationofatown,andwastheremetbyamanwhosewifehadofferedmehospitality。Hedrovemetotheirhome,andIwascaredfor。WhatIhad,itdeveloped,wasaseverecaseofptomainepoisoning,andIsoonre— covered;butevenafteralltheseyearsIdonotliketorecallthatnight。 Tobe``snowedin’’wasafrequentexperience。 Once,inMinnesota,Iwasoneofadozentravelerswhoweredriveninanomnibusfromacountryhoteltothenearestrailroadstation,abouttwomilesaway。 Itwassnowinghard,andthedriverleftusonthestationplatformanddeparted。Timepassed,butthetrainwewerewaitingfordidnotcome。AtrueWesternblizzard,growingwildereverymoment,hadsetin,andwefinallyrealizedthatthetrainwasnotcoming,andthat,moreover,itwasnowimpossibletogetbacktothehotel。Theonlythingwecoulddowastospendthenightintherailroadstation。 Iwastheonlywomaninthegroup,andmyfellow— passengerswerecattlemenwhowhiledawaythehoursbysmoking,tellingstories,andexchangingpocketflasks。Thestationhadatelegraphoperatorwhooccupiedatinyboxbyhimself,andhefinallyinvitedmetosharetheprivacyofhismicroscopicquarters。Ienteredthemverygratefully,andhelaidaboardonthefloor,covereditwithanover— coatmadeofbuffalo—skins,andcheerfullyinvitedmetogotobed。Iwent,andsleptpeacefullyuntilmorning。Thenweallreturnedtothehotel,themengoingaheadandshovelingapath。 Again,oneSunday,IwassnowboundinatrainnearFaribault,andthistimealsoIwastheonlywomanamonganumberofcattlemen。Theywereanodoriferouslot,whosmokeddiligentlyandplayedcardswithoutceasing,butindeferencetomypres— encetheysworeonlymildlyandundertheirbreath。 Atlasttheyweariedoftheirgame,andoneofthemroseandcametome。 ``Iheardyoulecturetheothernight,’’hesaid,awkwardly,``andI’vebintellin’thefellersaboutit。 We’dliketohavealecturenow。’’ Theircard—playinghadseemedtomeasinfulthing(IwasstricterinmyviewsthenthanIamto—day),andIwasgladtocreateadiversion。I agreedtogivethemalecture,andtheywentthroughthetrain,whichconsistedoftwodaycoaches,andbroughtintheremainingpassengers。Afewofthemcouldsing,andwebeganwithaMoodyandSankeyhymnortwoandtheappealingditty,``Whereismywanderingboyto—night?’’inwhichtheyalljoinedwithspecialzest。ThenIdeliveredthelecture,andtheylistenedattentively。WhenI hadfinishedtheyseemedtothinkthatsomeslightreturnwasinorder,sotheyproceededtomakeabedforme。Theytookthebottomsoutoftwoseats,arrangedthemcrosswise,andonemanfoldedhisovercoatintoapillow。Inspiredbythis,twoothersimmediatelydonatedtheirfurovercoatsforupperandlowercoverings。Whenthebedwasreadytheywavedmetowarditwithamosthospitableair,andIcreptinbetweentheovercoatsandslumberedsweetlyuntilIwasarousedthenextmorningbythewelcomemusicofasnow—plowwhichhadbeensentfromSt。Paultoourrescue。 Todrivefiftyorsixtymilesinadaytomeetalectureengagementwasafrequentexperience。I havebeendrivenacrosstheprairiesinJunewhentheywerelikeamammothflower—bed,andinJan— uarywhentheyseemedonehugesnow—coveredgrave——mygrave,Ithought,attimes。Onceduringathirty—miledrive,whenthethermometerwastwentydegreesbelowzero,Isuddenlyrealizedthatmyfacewasfreezing。Iopenedmysatchel,tookoutthetissue—paperthatprotectedmybestgown,andputthepaperovermyfaceasaveil,tuckingitinsideofmybonnet。WhenIreachedmydestinationthetissuewasaperfectmask,frozenstiff,andI hadtobeliftedfromthesleigh。Iwasdueonthelectureplatforminhalfanhour,soIdrankahugebowlofboilinggingerteaandappearedontime。 ThatnightIwenttobedexpectinganattackofpneumoniaasaresultoftheexposure,butIawokenextmorninginsuperbcondition。Ipossesswhatiscalled``anironconstitution,’’andinthosedaysIneededit。 Thatsamewinter,inKansas,Iwaschasedbywolves,andthoughIhadbeenmoreorlessinti— matelyassociatedwithwolvesinmypioneerlifeintheMichiganwoods,Ifoundtheoccasionextreme— lyunpleasant。Duringthelongwintersofmygirl— hoodwolveshadfrequentlyslunkaroundourlogcabin,andattimesinthelumber—campswehadevenheardthemprowlingontheroofs。Butthosewereverydifferentcreaturesfromthetwohuge,starving,tirelessanimalsthathourafterhourlopedbehindthecutterinwhichIsatwithanotherwoman,who,throughoutthewholeexperience,neverlostherheadnorhercontrolofourfrantichorses。Theyweremadwithterror,for,tryastheywould,theycouldnotoutrunthegrimthingsthattrailedus,seeminglynottryingtogainonus,butkeepingal— waysatthesamedistance,withapatiencethatwashorrible。FromtimetotimeIturnedtolookatthem,andthepicturetheymadeastheycameonandonisoneIshallneverforget。TheyweresonearthatIcouldseetheireyesandslaveringjaws,andtheywereasnoiselessasthingsinadream。Atlast,littlebylittle,theybegantogainonus,andtheywerealmostwithinstrikingdistanceofthewhip,whichwasouronlyweapon,whenwereachedthewelcomeoutskirtsofatownandtheyfellback。 Someofthememoriesofthosedayshavetodowithpersonalencounters,briefbutpoignant。OncewhenIwasgivingaseriesofChautauqualectures,IspokeattheChautauquainPontiac,Illinois。 TheStateReformatoryforBoyswassituatedinthattown,and,afterthelecturethesuperintendentoftheReformatoryinvitedmetovisititandsayafewwordstotheinmates。Iwentandspokeforhalfanhour,carryingawayamemoryoftheplaceandoftheboyswhichhauntedmeformonths。A yearlater,whileIwaswaitingforatraininthestationatShelbyville,aladaboutsixteenyearsoldpassedmeandhesitated,lookingasifheknewme。 Isawthathewantedtospeakanddarednot,soInoddedtohim。 ``Youthinkyouknowme,don’tyou?’’Iasked,whenhecametomyside。 ``Yes’m,Idoknowyou,’’hetoldme,eagerly。 ``YouareMissShaw,andyoutalkedtousboysatPontiaclastyear。I’moutonparolenow,butI ’ain’tforgot。Usboysenjoyedyouthebestofanyshowweeverhad!’’ Iwastouchedbythisartlesscompliment,andanxioustoknowhowIhadwonit,soIasked,``WhatdidIsaythattheboysliked?’’ Theladhesitated。Thenhesaid,slowly,``Well,youdidn’ttalkasifyouthoughtwewereallbad。’’ ``Myboy,’’Itoldhim,``Idon’tthinkyouareallbad。Iknowbetter!’’ AsifIhadtouchedaspringinhim,theladdroppedintotheseatbymyside;then,leaningtowardme,hesaid,impulsively,butalmostinawhisper: ``Say,MissShaw,SOMEOFUSBOYSSAYSOURPRAYERS!’’ RarelyhaveIhadatributethatmovedmemorethanthatshyconfidence;andoftensincethen,inhoursofdiscouragementorfailure,Ihaveremindedmyselfthatatleasttheremusthavebeensomethinginmeoncetomakealadofthatagesoopenuphisheart。Wehadalongandintimatetalk,fromwhichgrewtheabidinginterestIfeelinboysto— day。 NaturallyIwassometimesinconveniencedbyslightmisunderstandingsbetweenlocalcommitteesandmyselfastothesubjectsofmylectures,andthemostextremeinstanceofthisoccurredinatownwhereIarrivedtofindmyselfwidelyadvertisedas``Mrs。AnnaShaw,whowhistledbeforeQueenVictoria’’!Transfixed,Igapedbeforethebill— boards,andbyreadingtheiradditionalletteringdiscoveredthegratifyingfactthatatleastIwasnotexpectedtowhistlenow。Instead,itappeared,Iwastolectureon``TheMissingLink。’’ Asusual,Ihadarrivedintownonlyanhourortwobeforethetimefixedformylecture;therewasthebriefestintervalinwhichtoclearupthesepain— fulmisunderstandings。Irepeatedlytriedtoreachthechairmanwhowastopresideattheentertain— ment,butfailed。AtlastIwenttothehallatthehourappointed,andfoundthelocalcommitteethere,graciouslywaitingtoreceiveme。Withoutwastingpreciousminutesinpreliminaries,Iaskedwhytheyhadadvertisedmeasthewomanwhohad``whistledbeforeQueenVictoria。’’ ``Why,didn’tyouwhistlebeforeher?’’theyex— claimedingrievedsurprise。 ``Icertainlydidnot,’’Iexplained。``Moreover,I wasnevercalled`TheAmericanNightingale,’andIhaveneverlecturedon`TheMissingLink。’ WhereDIDyougetthatsubject?ItwasnotonthelistIsentyou。’’ Themembersofthecommitteeseemeddazed。 Theywithdrewtoacornerandconsultedinwhis— pers。Then,withclearingbrow,thespokesmanre— turned。 ``Why,’’hesaid,cheerfully,``it’ssimpleenough! WemixedyouupwithaShawladythatwhistles; andwe’vebeendiscussingthemissinglinkinourdebatingsociety,soourcitizenswanttohearyourviews。’’ ``ButIdon’tknowanythingaboutthemissinglink,’’Iprotested,``andIcan’tspeakonit。’’ ``Now,come,’’theybegged。``Why,you’llhaveto!We’vesoldallourticketsforthatlecture。 Thewholetownhasturnedouttohearit。’’ Then,asImaintainedadepressedsilence,oneofthemhadabrightidea。 ``I’lltellyouhowtofixit!’’hecried。``Speakonanysubjectyouplease,butbringinsomethingaboutthemissinglinkeveryfewminutes。Thatwillsatis— fy’em。’’ ``Verywell,’’Iagreed,reluctantly。``Openthemeetingwithasong。Gettheaudiencetosing`America’or`TheStar—spangledBanner。’Thatwillgivemeafewminutestothink,andIwillseewhatcanbedone。’’ Ledbyaverynervouschairman,thebigaudiencebegantosing,andundertheinspirationofthemusicthesolutionofourproblemflashedintomymind。 ``Itiseasy,’’Itoldmyself。``Womanisthemiss— inglinkinourgovernment。I’llgivethemasuf— fragespeechalongthatline。’’ WhenthesongendedIbeganmypartoftheen— tertainmentwithaportionofmylectureon``TheFateofRepublics,’’tracingtheirgrowthanddecay,andpointingoutthatwhatourrepublicneededtogiveitastablegovernmentwasthemissinglinkofwomansuffrage。Igotalongadmirably,foreveryfiveminutesImentioned``themissinglink,’’andtheaudiencesatcontentandapparentlyinterested,whilethemembersofthecommitteeburstintobloomontheplatform。 VIII DRAMAINTHELECTURE—FIELD MymostdramaticexperienceoccurredinacityinMichigan,whereIwasmakingatemperancecampaign。Itwasanimportantlum— berandshippingcenter,anditharboredmuchintemperance。Theeditoroftheleadingnews— paperwaswiththetemperance—workersinourfightthere,andhehadwarnedmethattheliquorpeoplethreatenedto``burnthebuildingovermyhead’’ifIattemptedtolecture。Wewereusedtosimilarthreats,soIproceededwithmypreparationsandheldthemeetinginthetownskating—rink—— ahuge,bare,woodenstructure。 Lectureswererareinthatcity,andrumorsofsomespecialexcitementonthisoccasionhadbeencirculated;everyseatintherinkwasfilled,andseveralhundredpersonsstoodintheaislesandatthebackofthebuilding。Justoppositethespeak— er’splatformwasasmallgallery,andabovethat,intheceiling,wasatrap—door。BeforeIhadbeenspeakingtenminutesIsawamandropthroughthistrap—doortothebalconyandclimbfromtheretothemainfloor。Ashereachedthefloorheshouted``Fire!’’andrushedoutintothestreet。Thenextinstanteverypersonintherinkwasupandapanichadstarted。Iwasverysuretherewasnofire,butIknewthatmanymightbekilledintherushwhichwasbeginning。SoIsprangonachairandshoutedtothepeoplewiththefullstrengthofmylungs: ``Thereisnofire!It’sonlyatrick!Sitdown! Sitdown!’’ Thecoolerpersonsinthecrowdatoncebegantohelpinthiscalmingprocess。 ``Sitdown!’’theyrepeated。``It’sallright! There’snofire!Sitdown!’’ Itlookedasifwehadthesituationinhand,forthepeoplehesitated,andmostofthemgrewquiet; butjustthenafewwordswerehisseduptomethatmademyheartstopbeating。Amemberofourlocalcommitteewasstandingbesidemychair,speakinginaterrifiedwhisper: ``ThereISafire,MissShaw,’’hesaid。``ForGod’ssakegetthepeopleout——QUICKLY!’’ Theshockwassounexpectedthatmykneesal— mostgaveway。Thepeoplewerestillstanding,wavering,lookinguncertainlytowardus。Iraisedmyvoiceagain,andifitsoundedunnaturalmyhearersprobablythoughtitwasbecauseIwasspeak— ingsoloudly。 ``Aswearealreadystanding,’’Icried,``andareallnervous,alittleexercisewilldousgood。Somarchout,singing。Keeptimetothemusic! Lateryoucancomebackandtakeyourseats!’’ Themanwhohadwhisperedthewarningjumpedintotheaisleandstruckup``Jesus,LoverofMySoul。’’Thenheledthemarchdowntothedoor,whilethebigaudienceswungintolineandfollowedhim,joininginthesong。Iremainedonthechair,beatingtimeandtalkingtothepeopleastheywent; butwhenthelastofthemhadleftthebuildingI almostcollapsed;fortheflameshadbeguntoeatthroughthewoodenwallsandtheclangofthefire— engineswasheardoutside。 AssoonasIwassureeveryonewassafe,however,IexperiencedthemostintenseangerIhadyetknown。 Myindignationagainstthemenwhohadriskedhundredsoflivesbysettingfiretoacrowdedbuildingmademe``seered’’;itwasclearthattheymustbetaughtalessonthenandthere。AssoonasIwasoutsidetherinkIcalledameeting,andtheCongre— gationalminister,whowasinthecrowd,lentushischurchandledthewaytoit。Mostoftheaudiencefollowedus,andwehadawonderfulmeeting,dur— ingwhichwewereableatlasttomakecleartothepeopleofthattownthecharacteroftheliquorinterestswewerefighting。Thatepisodedidthetemperancecausemoregoodthanahundredordinarymeetings。Menwhohadbeenindifferentbeforebecameourfriendsandsupporters,andatthefol— lowingelectionwecarriedthetownforprohibitionbyabigmajority。 Therehavebeenotheroccasionswhenourop— ponentshavenotfoughtusfairly。Once,inanOhiotown,agroupofpoliticians,hearingthatIwastolectureontemperanceinthecourt—houseonacertainnight,tookpossessionofthebuildingearlyintheevening,onthepretenseofholdingameeting,andhelditagainstus。When,escortedbyacom— mitteeofleadingwomen,Ireachedthebuildingandtriedtoenter,wefoundthatthemenhadlockedusout。Ouraudiencewasgatheringandfillingthestreet,andwefinallysentacourteousmessagetothemen,assumingthattheyhadforgottenusandre— mindingthemofourposition。Themessengerre— portedthatthemenwouldleave``abouteight,’’ butthattheroomwas``blackwithsmokeandfilthywithtobacco—juice。``Wewaitedpatientlyuntileighto’clock,holdinglittleoutsidemeetingsingroups,asouraudiencewaitedwithus。Ateightweagainsentourmessengerintothehall,andhebroughtbackwordthatthemenwere``notthrough,didn’tknowwhentheywouldbethrough,andhadtoldthewomennottowait。’’ Naturally,thewaitingtownswomenweredeeplychagrinedbythis。Soweremanymenintheout— sidecrowd。Weaskediftherewasnootheren— trancetothehallexceptthroughthelockedfrontdoors,andweretoldthatthejudge’sprivateroomopenedintoit,andthatoneofourcommitteehadthekey,asshehadplannedtousethisroomasadressingandretiringroomforthespeakers。Aftersomediscussionwedecidedtostormthehallandtakepossession。Withinfiveminutesallthewomenhadformedinlineandwerecrowdingupthebackstairsandintothejudge’sroom。Thereweunlockedthedoor,againformedinline,andmarchedintothehall,singing``Onward,ChristianSoldiers!’’ Therewerehundredsofus,andwemarcheddi— rectlytotheplatform,wheretheastonishedmengotuptostareatus。Moreandmorewomenentered,comingupthebackstairsfromthestreetandfillingthehall;andwhenthemenrealizedwhatitallmeant,andrecognizedtheirwives,sis— ters,andwomenfriendsinthethrong,theysheep— ishlyunlockedthefrontdoorsandleftusinposses— sion,thoughwepolitelyurgedthemtoremain。Wehadagreatmeetingthatnight! Anotherreminiscencemaynotbeoutofplace。 WewereworkingforaprohibitionamendmentinthestateofPennsylvania,andthenightbeforeelectionIreachedCoatesville。Ihadjustcom— pletedsixweeksofstrenuouscampaigning,andthatdayIhadalreadyconductedandspokenattwobigoutdoormeetings。WhenIenteredthetownhallofCoatesvilleIfounditfilledwithwomen。Onlyafewmenwerethere;therestwerecelebratingandcampaigninginthestreets。SoIaroseandsaid: ``Iwouldliketoaskhowmanymenthereareintheaudiencewhointendtovotefortheamendmentto—morrow?’’ Everymaninthehallstoodup。 ``Ithoughtso,’’Isaid。``NowIintendtoaskyourindulgence。Asyouareallinfavoroftheamendment,thereisnouseinmysettingitsclaimsbeforeyou;and,asIamutterlyexhausted,I suggestthatwesingtheDoxologyandgohome!’’ Theaudiencesawthecommonsenseofmyposition,sothepeoplelaughedandsangtheDoxol— ogyanddeparted。AswewereleavingthehalloneofCoatesville’sprominentcitizensstoppedme。 ``Iwishyouwereaman,’’hesaid。``Thetownwastohaveabigoutdoormeetingto—night,andtheoratorhasfailedus。Therearethousandsofmeninthestreetswaitingforthespeech,andthesaloonsaresendingthemfreedrinkstogetthemdrunkandcarrythetownto—morrow。’’ ``Why,’’Isaid,``I’lltalktothemifyouwish。’’ ``GreatScott!’’hegasped。``I’dbeafraidtoletyou。Somethingmighthappen!’’ ``Ifanythinghappens,itwillbeinagoodcause,’’ Iremindedhim。``Letusgo。’’ Down—townwefoundthestreetssopackedwithmenthatthecarscouldnotgetthrough,andwiththegreatestdifficultywereachedthestandwhichhadbeenerectedforthespeaker。Itwasagorgeousaffair。Therewereflaringtorchesallaroundit,anda``bull’s—eye,’’takenfromtheheadofalocomotive,madeanespeciallybrilliantpatchoflight。Thestandhadbeenerectedatapointwherethecity’sfourprincipalstreetsmeet,andasfarasIcouldseethereweresolidmassesofcitizensextendingintothesestreets。Aglee—clubwasdoingitsbesttohelpthingsalong,andthemusicofanorganette,aninstrumentmuchusedatthetimeincampaignrallies,swelledthejoyfultumult。AsImountedtheplatformthecrowdwassinging``VoteforBettyandtheBaby,’’andItookthatsongformytext,speakingofthehelplessnessofwomenandchildreninthefaceofintemperance,andtellingthecrowdtheonlyhopeoftheCoatesvillewomenlayinthevotecastbytheirmenthenextday。 Directlyinfrontofmestoodahugeandex— traordinarilyrepellent—lookingnegro。Aglanceathimalmostmadeoneshudder,butbeforeIhadfinishedmyfirstsentenceheraisedhisrightarmstraightabovehimandshouted,inadeepandwonderfullyrichbassvoice,``HallelujahtotheLamb!’’Fromthatpointonhepunctuatedmyspeecheveryfewmomentswithgood,old—fashionedexclamationsofsalvationwhichhelpedtoinspirethecrowd。Ispokeforalmostanhour。Threetimesinmylife,andonlythreetimes,Ihavemadespeechesthathavesatisfiedmetothedegree,thatis,ofmakingmefeelthatatleastIwasgivingthebestthatwasinme。ThespeechatCoatesvillewasoneofthosethree。Attheendofitthegood—naturedcrowdcheeredfortenminutes。ThenextdayCoatesvillevotedforprohibition,and,rightlyorwrongly,IhavealwaysbelievedthatIhelpedtowinthatvictory。 Here,bytheway,ImayaddthatofthetwootherspeecheswhichsatisfiedmeonewasmadeinChicago,duringtheWorld’sFair,in1893,andtheotherinStockholm,Sweden,in1912。TheInternationalCouncilofWomen,itwillberemembered,metinChicagoduringtheFair,andIwasinvitedtopreachthesermonattheSunday—morningsession。Theoccasionwasaveryimportantone,bringingto— getheratleastfivethousandpersons,includingrepresentativewomenfromalmosteverycountryinEurope,andalargenumberofwomenministers。 Thesemadeanimpressivegroup,astheyallworetheirministerialrobes;andforthefirsttimeI