第18章

类别:其他 作者:Jack London字数:11216更新时间:19/01/07 14:56:22
Anditwasrequiredofmethatthisshouldbethegravestofresponsibilities,forshewastheonewomanintheworld——theonesmallwoman,asIlovedtothinkofher。TheSeaWolf:Chapter30CHAPTER30 NowonderwecalleditEndeavorIsland。Fortwoweekswetoiledatbuildingahut。Maudinsistedonhelping,andIcouldhaveweptoverherbruisedandbleedinghands。Andstill,Iwasproudofherbecauseofit。Therewassomethingheroicaboutthisgentlybredwomanenduringourterriblehardshipandwithherpittanceofstrengthbendingtothetasksofapeasantwoman。ShegatheredmanyofthestoneswhichIbuiltintothewallsofthehut;also,sheturnedadeafeartomyentreatieswhenIbeggedhertodesist。Shecompromised,however,bytakinguponherselfthelighterlaborsofcookingandgatheringdriftwoodandmossforourwinter’ssupply。 Thehut’swallsrosewithoutdifficulty,andeverythingwentsmoothlyuntiltheproblemoftheroofconfrontedme。Ofwhatusethefourwallswithoutaroof?Andofwhatcouldaroofbemade?Therewerethespareoars,verytrue。Theywouldserveasroof—beams;butwithwhatwasItocoverthem?Mosswouldneverdo。Tundragrasswasimpracticable。Weneededthesailfortheboat,andthetarpaulinhadbeguntoleak。 \"Wintersusedwalrusskinsonhishut,\"Isaid。 \"Therearetheseals,\"shesuggested。 Sonextdaythehuntingbegan。Ididnotknowhowtoshoot,butIproceededtolearn。AndwhenIhadexpendedsomethirtyshellsforthreeseals,I decidedthattheammunitionwouldbeexhaustedbeforeIacquiredthenecessaryknowledge。IhadusedeightshellsforlightingfiresbeforeIhituponthedeviceofbankingtheemberswithwetmoss,andthereremainednotoverahundredshellsinthebox。 \"Wemustclubtheseals,\"Iannounced,whenconvincedofmypoormarksmanship。 \"Ihaveheardthesealerstalkaboutclubbingthem。\" \"Theyaresopretty,\"sheobjected。\"Icannotbeartothinkofitbeingdone。Itissodirectlybrutal,youknow;sodifferentfromshootingthem。\" \"Thatroofmustgoon,\"Iansweredgrimly。\"Winterisalmosthere。Itisourlivesagainsttheirs。Itisunfortunatewehaven’tplentyofammunition,butIthink,anyway,thattheysufferlessfrombeingclubbedthanfrombeingallshotup。Besides,Ishalldotheclubbing。\" \"That’sjustit,\"shebeganeagerly,andbrokeoffinsuddenconfusion。 \"Ofcourse,\"Ibegan。\"Ifyouprefer——\" \"ButwhatshallIbedoing?\"sheinterrupted,withthatsoftnessIknewfullwelltobeinsistence。 \"Gatheringfirewoodandcookingdinner,\"Iansweredlightly。 Sheshookherhead。\"Itistoodangerousforyoutoattemptalone。\" \"Iknow,Iknow,\"shewaivedmyprotest。\"Iamonlyaweakwoman,butjustmysmallassistancemayenableyoutoescapedisaster。\" \"Buttheclubbing?\"Isuggested。 \"Ofcourse,youwilldothat。Ishallprobablyscream。I’lllookawaywhen——\" \"Thedangerismostserious,\"Ilaughed。 \"Ishallusemyjudgmentwhentolookandwhennottolook,\"sherepliedwithagrandair。 Theupshotoftheaffairwasthatsheaccompaniedmenextmorning。I rowedintotheadjoiningcoveanduptotheedgeofthebeach。Thereweresealsallaboutusinthewater,andthebellowingthousandsonthebeachcompelledustoshoutateachothertomakeourselvesheard。 \"Iknowmenclubthem,\"Isaid,tryingtoreassuremyselfandgazingdoubtfullyatalargebull,notthirtyfeetaway,uprearedonhisfore—flippersandregardingmeintently。\"Butthequestionis,Howdotheyclubthem?\" \"Letusgathertundragrassandthatchtheroof,\"Maudsaid。 ShewasasfrightenedasIattheprospect,andwehadreasontobe,gazingatcloserangeatthegleamingteethanddog—likemouths。 \"Ialwaysthoughttheywereafraidofmen,\"Isaid。 \"HowdoIknowtheyarenotafraid?\"Iqueriedamomentlater,afterhavingrowedafewmorestrokesalongthebeach。\"Perhaps,ifIweretostepboldlyashore,theywouldcutforit,andcouldnotcatchupwithone。\" AndstillIhesitated。 \"Iheardofaman,once,whoinvadedthenestinggroundsofwildgeese,\" Maudsaid。\"Theykilledhim。\" \"Thegeese?\" \"Yes,thegeese。MybrothertoldmeaboutitwhenIwasalittlegirl。\" \"ButIknowmenclubthem,\"Ipersisted。 \"Ithinkthetundragrasswillmakejustasgoodaroof,\"shesaid。 Farfromherintention,herwordsweremaddeningme,drivingmeon。 Icouldnotplaythecowardbeforehereyes。 \"Heregoes,\"Isaid,backingwaterwithoneoarandrunningthebowashore。 Isteppedoutandadvancedvaliantlyuponalong—manedbullinthemidstofhiswives。Iwasarmedwiththeregularclubwithwhichtheboat—pullerskilledthewoundedsealsgaffedaboardbythehunters。Itwasonlyafootandahalflong,andinmysuperbignoranceIneverdreamedthattheclubusedashorewhenraidingtherookeriesmeasuredfourtofivefeet。Thecowslumberedoutofmyway,andthedistancebetweenmeandthebulldecreased。 Heraisedhimselfonhisflipperswithanangrymovement。Wewereadozenfeetapart。StillIadvancedsteadily,lookingforhimtoturntailatanymomentandrun。 Atsixfeetthepanickythoughtrushedintomymind,Whatifhewillnotrun?Why,thenIshallclubhim,cametheanswer。InmyfearIhadforgottenthatIwastheretogetthebullinsteadoftomakehimrun。 Andjustthenhegaveasnortandasnarlandrushedatme。Hiseyeswereblazing,hismouthwaswideopen;theteethgleamedcruellywhite。Withoutshame,IconfessthatitwasIwhoturnedandfootedit。Heranawkwardly,butheranwell。Hewasbuttwopacesbehindwhentumbledintotheboat,andasIshovedoffwithanoarhisteethcruncheddownupontheblade。 Thestoutwoodwascrushedlikeanegg—shell。MaudandIwereastounded。 Amomentlaterhehaddivedundertheboat,seizedthekeelinhismouth,andwasshakingtheboatviolently。 \"My!\"saidMaud。\"Let’sgoback。\" Ishookmyhead。\"Icandowhatothermenhavedone,andknowthatothermenhaveclubbedseals。ButIthinkI’llleavethebullsalonenexttime。\" \"Iwishyouwouldn’t,\"shesaid。 \"Nowdon’tsay,`Please,please,’\"Icried,halfangrily,Idobelieve。 Shemadenoreply,andIknewmytonemusthavehurther。 \"Ibegyourpardon,\"Isaid,orshouted,rather,inordertomakemyselfheardabovetheroaroftherookery。\"Ifyousayso,I’llturnandgoback; buthonestly,I’dratherstay。\" \"Nowdon’tsaythatthisiswhatyougetforbringingawomanalong,\" shesaid。Shesmiledatmewhimsically,gloriously,andIknewtherewasnoneedforforgiveness。 Irowedacoupleofhundredfeetalongthebeachsoastorecovermynerves,andthensteppedashoreagain。 \"Dobecautious,\"shecalledafterme。 Inoddedmyheadandproceededtomakeaflankattackonthenearestharem。AllwentwelluntilIaimedablowatanoutlyingcow’sheadandfellshort。Shesnortedandtriedtoscrambleaway。Iranincloseandstruckanotherblow,hittingtheshoulderinsteadofthehead。 \"Watchout!\"IheardMaudscream。 InmyexcitementIhadnotbeentakingnoticeofotherthings,andI lookeduptoseethelordoftheharemchargingdownuponme。AgainIfledtotheboat,hotlypursued;butthistimeMaudmadenosuggestionofturningback。 \"Itwouldbebetter,Iimagine,ifyouletharemsaloneanddevotedyourattentiontolonelyandinoffensive—lookingseals,\"waswhatshesaid。 \"IthinkIhavereadsomethingaboutthem。Dr。Jordan’sbook,Ibelieve。 Theyaretheyoungbulls,notoldenoughtohaveharemsoftheirown。Hecalledthemtheholluschickie,orsomethinglikethat。Itseemstomeifwefindwheretheyhaulout——\" \"Itseemstomethatyourfightinginstinctisaroused,\"laughed。 Sheflushedquicklyandprettily。\"I’lladmitIdon’tlikedefeatanymorethanyoudo,oranymorethanIliketheideaofkillingsuchpretty,inoffensivecreatures。\" \"Pretty!\"Isniffed。\"Ifailedtomarkanythingpreeminentlyprettyaboutthosefoamy—mouthedbeaststhatracedme。\" \"Yourpointofview,\"shelaughed。\"Youlackedperspective。Nowifyoudidnothavetogetsoclosetothesubject——\" \"Theverything!\"Icried。\"WhatIneedisalongerclub。Andthere’sthatbrokenoarreadytohand。\" \"Itjustcomestome,\"shesaid,\"thatCaptainLarsenwastellingmehowthemenraidedtherookeries。Theydrivetheseals,insmallherds,ashortdistanceinlandbeforetheykillthem。\" \"Idon’tcaretoundertaketheherdingofoneofthoseharems,\"Iobjected。 \"Buttherearetheholluschickie,\"shesaid。\"Theholluschickiehauloutbythemselves,andDr。Jordansaysthatpathsareleftbetweentheharems,andthataslongastheholluschickiekeepstrictlytothepaththeyareunmolestedbythemastersoftheharem。\" \"There’sonenow,\"Isaid,pointingtoayoungbullinthewater。\"Let’swatchhim,andfollowhimifhehaulsout。\" Heswamdirectlytothebeachandclamberedoutintoasmallopeningbetweentwoharems,themastersofwhichmadewarningnoisesbutdidnotattackhim。Wewatchedhimtravelslowlyinward,threadingaboutamongtheharemsalongwhatmusthavebeenthepath。 \"Heregoes,\"Isaid,steppingout;butIconfessmyheartwasinmymouthasIthoughtofgoingthroughtheheartofthatmonstrousherd。 \"Itwouldbewisetomaketheboatfast,\"Maudsaid。 Shehadsteppedoutbesideme,andIregardedherwithwonderment。 Shenoddedherheaddeterminedly。\"Yes,I’mgoingwithyou,soyoumayaswellsecuretheboatandarmmewithaclub。\" \"Let’sgoback,\"Isaiddejectedly。\"Ithinktundragrasswilldo,afterall。\" \"Youknowitwon’t,\"washerreply。\"ShallIlead?\" Withashrugoftheshoulders,butwiththewarmestadmirationandprideatheartforthiswoman,Iequippedherwiththebrokenoarandtookanotherformyself。Itwaswithnervoustrepidationthatwemadethefirstfewrodsofthejourney。OnceMaudscreamedinterrorasacowthrustaninquisitivenosetowardherfoot,andseveraltimesIquickenedmypaceforthesamereason。But,beyondwarningcoughsfromeitherside,therewerenosignsofhostility。Itwasarookerywhichhadneverbeenraidedbythehunters,andinconsequencethesealsweremild—temperedandatthesametimeunafraid。 Intheveryheartoftheherdthedinwasterrific。Itwasalmostdizzyinginitseffect。IpausedandsmiledreassuringlyatMaud,forIhadrecoveredmyequanimitysoonerthanshe。Icouldseethatshewasstillbadlyfrightened。 Shecameclosetomeandshouted: \"I’mdreadfullyafraid!\" AndIwasnot。Thoughthenoveltyhadnotyetwornoff,thepeacefulcomportmentofthesealshadquietedmyalarm。Maudwastrembling。 \"I’mafraid,andI’mnotafraid,\"shechatteredwithshakingjaws。\"It’smymiserablebody,notI。\" \"It’sallright,it’sallright,\"Ireassuredher,myarmpassinginstinctivelyandprotectinglyaroundher。 Ishallneverforget,inthatmoment,howinstantlyconsciousbecameofmymanhood。Theprimitivedeepsofmynaturestirred。Ifeltmyselfmasculine,theprotectoroftheweak,thefightingmale。And,bestofall,Ifeltmyselftheprotectorofmylovedone。Sheleanedagainstme,solightandlily—frail,andashertremblingeasedawayitseemedasthoughIbecameawareofprodigiousstrength。Ifeltmyselfamatchforthemostferociousbullintheherd,andIknow,hadsuchabullchargeduponme,thatIshouldhavemetitunflinchinglyandquitecoolly,andIknowthatIshouldhavekilledit。 \"Iamallright,now,\"shesaid,lookingupatmegratefully。\"Letusgoon。\" Andthatthestrengthinmehadquietedherandgivenherconfidence,filledmewithanexultantjoy。Theyouthoftheraceseemedburgeoninginme,over—civilizedmanthatIwas,andIlivedformyselftheoldhuntingdaysandforestnightsofmyremoteandforgottenancestry。IhadmuchforwhichtothankWolfLarsen,wasmythoughtaswewentalongthepathbetweenthejostlingharems。 Aquarterofamileinlandwecameupontheholluschickie——sleekyoungbulls,livingoutthelonelinessoftheirbachelorhoodandgatheringstrengthagainstthedaywhentheywouldfighttheirwayintotheranksofthebenedicts。 Everythingnowwentsmoothly。Iseemedtoknowjustwhattodoandhowtodoit。Shouting,makingthreateninggestureswithmyclub,andevenproddingthelazyones,Iquicklycutoutascoreoftheyoungbachelorsfromtheircompanions。Wheneveronemadeanattempttobreakbacktowardthewater,Iheadeditoff。Maudtookanactivepartinthedrive,andwithhercriesandflourishingsofthebrokenoarwasofconsiderableassistance。 Inoticed,though,thatwheneveronelookedtiredandlagged,sheletitslippast。ButInoticed,also,wheneverone,withashowoffight,triedtobreakpast,thathereyesglintedandshowedbright,andsherappeditsmartlywithherclub。 \"My,it’sexciting!\"shecried,pausingfromsheerweakness。\"IthinkI’llsitdown。\" Idrovethelittleherd(adozenstrong,now,whatoftheescapesshehadpermitted)ahundredyardsfartheron;andbythetimeshejoinedmeIhadfinishedtheslaughterandwasbeginningtoskin。Anhourlaterwewentproudlybackalongthepathbetweentheharems。Andtwiceagainwecamedownthepathburdenedwithskins,tillthoughtwehadenoughtoroofthehut。Isetthesail,laidonetackoutofthecove,andontheothertackmadeourownlittleinnercove。 \"It’sjustlikehome—coming,\"Maudsaid,asIrantheboatashore。 Iheardherwordswitharesponsivethrill,itwasallsodearlyintimateandnatural,andIsaid: \"ItseemsasthoughIhavelivedthislifealways。Theworldofbooksandbookishfolkisveryvague,morelikeadreammemorythananactuality。 Isurelyhavehuntedandforayedandfoughtallthedaysofmylife。Andyou,too,seemapartofit。Youare——\"Iwasonthevergeofsaying,\"mywoman,mymate,\"butgliblychangeditto——\"standingthehardshipwell。\" Butherearhadcaughttheflaw。Sherecognizedaflightthatmidmostbroke。Shegavemeaquicklook。 \"Notthat。Youweresaying——?\" \"ThattheAmericanMrs。Meynellwaslivingthelifeofasavageandlivingitquitesuccessfully,\"Isaideasily。 \"Oh,\"wasallshereplied;butIcouldhavesworntherewasanoteofdisappointmentinhervoice。 But\"mywoman,mymate\"keptringinginmyheadfortherestofthedayandformanydays。Yetneverdiditringmoreloudlythanthatnight,asIwatchedherdrawbacktheblanketofmossfromthecoals,blowupthefire,andcooktheeveningmeal。Itmusthavebeenlatentsavagerystirringinme,fortheoldwords,soboundupwiththerootsoftherace,togripmeandthrillme。Andgripandthrilltheydid,tillIfellasleep,murmuringthemtomyselfoverandoveragain。TheSeaWolf:Chapter31CHAPTER31 Itwillsmell,\"Isaid,\"butitwillkeepintheheatandkeepouttherainandsnow。\" Weweresurveyingthecompletedsealskinroof。 \"Itisclumsy,butitwillservethepurpose,andthatisthemainthing,\" Iwenton,yearningforherpraise。 Andsheclappedherhandsanddeclaredthatshewashugelypleased。 \"Butitisdarkinhere,\"shesaidthenextmoment,hershouldersshrinkingwithalittleinvoluntaryshiver。 \"Youmighthavesuggestedawindowwhenthewallsweregoingup,\"I said。\"Itwasforyou,andyoushouldhaveseentheneedofawindow。\" \"ButIneverdoseetheobvious,youknow,\"shelaughedback。\"Andbesides,youcanknockaholeinthewallatanytime。\" \"Quitetrue;Ihadnotthoughtofit,\"Ireplied,waggingmyheadsagely。 \"Buthaveyouthoughtoforderingthewindow—glass?Justcallupthefirm,——Red,4451,Ithinkitis,——andtellthemwhatsizeandkindofglassyouwish。\" \"Thatmeans——\"shebegan。 \"Nowindow。\" Itwasadarkandevil—appearingthing,thathut,notfitforaughtbetterthanswineinacivilizedland;butforus,whohadknownthemiseryoftheopenboat,itwasasnuglittlehabitation。Followingthehousewarming,whichwasaccomplishedbymeansofseal—oilandawickmadefromcottoncalking,camethehuntingforourwinter’smeatandthebuildingofthesecondhut。Itwasasimpleaffair,now,togoforthinthemorningandreturnbynoonwithaboat—loadofseals。Andthen,whileIworkedatbuildingthehut,Maudtriedouttheoilfromtheblubberandkeptaslowfireundertheframesofmeat。Ihadheardofjerkingbeefontheplains,andourseal—meat,cutinthinstripsandhunginthesmoke,curedexcellently。 Thesecondhutwaseasiertoerect,forIbuiltitagainstthefirst,andonlythreewallswererequired。Butitwaswork,hardwork,allofit。MaudandIworkedfromdawntilldark,tothelimitofourstrength,sothatwhennightcamewecrawledstifflytobedandslepttheanimal—likesleepofexhaustion。AndyetMauddeclaredthatshehadneverfeltbetterorstrongerinherlife。Iknewthiswastrueofmyself,butherswassuchalilystrengththatIfearedshewouldbreakdown。Oftenandoften,herlastreserveforcegone,Ihaveseenherstretchedflatonherbackonthesandinthewayshehadofrestingandrecuperating。Andthenshewouldbeuponherfeetandtoilinghardasever。Wheresheobtainedthisstrengthwasthemarveltome。 \"Thinkofthelongrestthiswinter,\"washerreplytomyremonstrances。 \"Why,we’llbeclamorousforsomethingtodo。\" Weheldahousewarminginmyhutthenightitwasroofed。Itwastheendofthethirddayofafiercestormwhichhadswungaroundthecompassfromthesoutheasttothenorthwest,andwhichwasthenblowingdirectlyinuponus。Thebeachesoftheoutercovewerethunderingwiththesurf,andeveninourland—lockedinnercovearespectableseawasbreaking。 Nohighbackboneofislandshelteredusfromthewind,anditwhistledandbellowedaboutthehuttillattimesIfearedforthestrengthofthewalls。Theskinroof,stretchedtightlyasadrum—headIhadthought,saggedandbelliedwitheverygust;andinnumerableintersticesinthewalls,notsotightlystuffedwithmossasMaudhadsupposed,disclosedthemselves。 Yettheseal—oilburnedbrightlyandwewerewarmandcomfortable。 Itwasapleasanteveningindeed,andwevotedthatasasocialfunctiononEndeavorIslandithadnotyetbeeneclipsed。Ourmindswereatease。 Notonlyhadweresignedourselvestothebitterwinter,butwewerepreparedforit。Thesealscoulddepartontheirmysteriousjourneyintothesouthatanytime,now,forallwecared;andthestormsheldnoterrorforus。 Notonlywerewesureofbeingdryandwarmandshelteredfromthewind,butwehadthesoftestandmostluxuriousmattressesthatcouldbemadefrommoss。ThishadbeenMaud’sidea,andshehadherselfjealouslygatheredallthemoss。Thiswastobemyfirstnightonthemattress,andIknewIshouldsleepthesweeterbecauseshehadmadeit。 Assherosetogosheturnedtomewiththewhimsicalwayshehad,andsaid: \"Somethingisgoingtohappen——ishappening,forthatmatter。Ifeelit。Somethingiscominghere,tous。Itiscomingnow。Idon’tknowwhat,butitiscoming。\" \"Goodorbad?\"Iasked。 Sheshookherhead。\"Idon’tknow,butitisthere,somewhere。\" Shepointedinthedirectionoftheseaandwind。 \"It’saleeshore,\"Ilaughed,\"andIamsureI’dratherbeherethanarriving,anightlikethis。\" \"Youarenotfrightened?\"Iasked,asIsteppedtoopenthedoorforher。 Hereyeslookedbravelyintomine。 \"Andyoufeelwell?perfectlywell?\" \"Neverbetter,\"washeranswer。 Wetalkedalittlelongerbeforeshewent。 \"Goodnight,Maud,\"Isaid。 \"Goodnight,Humphrey,\"shesaid。 Thisuseofourgivennameshadcomeaboutquiteasamatterofcourse,andwasasunpremeditatedasitwasnatural。Inthatmomentcouldhaveputmyarmsaroundheranddrawnhertome。Ishouldcertainlyhavedonesooutinthatworldtowhichwebelonged。Asitwas,thesituationstoppedthereintheonlywayitcould;butIwasleftaloneinmylittlehut,glowingwarmlythroughandthroughwithapleasantsatisfaction;andI knewthatatie,oratacitsomething,existedbetweenuswhichhadnotexistedbefore。TheSeaWolf:Chapter32CHAPTER32 Iawoke,oppressedbyamysterioussensation。Thereseemedsomethingmissinginmyenvironment。Butthemysteryandoppressivenessvanishedafterthefirstfewsecondsofwaking,whenIidentifiedthemissingsomethingasthewind。Ihadfallenasleepinthatstateofnervetensionwithwhichonemeetsthecontinuousshockofsoundormovement,andIhadawakened,stilltense,bracingmyselftomeetthepressureofsomethingwhichnolongerboreuponme。 ItwasthefirstnightIhadspentundercoverinseveralmonths,andIlayluxuriouslyforsomeminutesundermyblankets,(foroncenotwetwithfogorspray),analyzing,first,theeffectproduceduponmebythecessationofthewind,andnext,thejoywhichwasminefromrestingonthemattressmadebyMaud’shands。WhenIhaddressedandopenedthedoor,Iheardthewavesstilllappingonthebeach,garrulouslyattestingthefuryofthenight。Itwasaclearday,andthesunwasshining。Ihadsleptlate,andIsteppedoutsidewithsuddenenergy,bentuponmakinguplosttimeasbefittedadwelleronEndeavorIsland。 Andwhenoutside,Istoppedshort。Ibelievedmyeyeswithoutquestion,andyetIwasforthemomentstunnedbywhattheydisclosedtome。There,onthebeach,notfiftyfeetaway,bowon,dismasted,wasablack—hulledvessel。Mastsandbooms,tangledwithshrouds,sheets,andrentcanvas,wererubbinggentlyalongside。IcouldhaverubbedmyeyesasIlooked。 Therewasthehome—madegalleywehadbuilt,thefamiliarbreakofthepoop,thelowyacht—cabinscarcelyrisingabovetherail。ItwastheGhost。 Whatfreakoffortunehadbroughtithere——hereofallspots?whatchanceofchances?Ilookedatthebleak,inaccessiblewallatmybackandknewtheprofundityofdespair。Escapewashopeless,outofthequestion。 IthoughtofMaud,asleepthereinthehutwehadreared;Irememberedher\"Goodnight,Humphrey\";\"mywoman,mymate,\"wentringingthroughmybrain,butnow,alas,itwasaknellthatsounded。Theneverythingwentblackbeforemyeyes。 Possiblyitwasthefractionofasecond,butIhadnoknowledgeofhowlonganintervalhadlapsedbeforeIwasmyselfagain。TherelaytheGhost,bowontothebeach,hersplinteredbowspritprojectingoverthesand,hertangledsparsrubbingagainsthersidetotheliftofthecrooningwaves。Somethingmustbedone,mustbedone。 Itcameuponmesuddenly,asstrange,thatnothingmovedaboard。Weariedfromthenightofstruggleandwreck,allhandswereyetasleep,Ithought。 MynextthoughtwasthatMaudandImightyetescape。Ifwecouldtaketotheboatandmakearoundthepointbeforeanyoneawoke?Iwouldcallherandstart。Myhandwasliftedatherdoortoknock,whenIrecollectedthesmallnessoftheisland。Wecouldneverhideourselvesuponit。Therewasnothingforusbutthewiderawocean。Ithoughtofoursnuglittlehuts,oursuppliesofmeatandoilandmossandfirewood,andIknewthatwecouldneversurvivethewintryseaandthegreatstormswhichweretocome。 SoIstood,withhesitantknuckle,withoutherdoor。Itwasimpossible,impossible。Awildthoughtofrushinginandkillingherasshesleptroseinmymind。Andthen,inaflash,thebettersolutioncametome。Allhandswereasleep。WhynotcreepaboardtheGhost,——wellIknewthewaytoWolfLarsen’sbunk,——andkillhiminhissleep?Afterthat—— well,wewouldsee。Butwithhimdeadtherewastimeandspaceinwhichtopreparetodootherthings;andbesides,whatevernewsituationarose,itcouldnotpossiblybeworsethanthepresentone。 Myknifewasatmyhip。Ireturnedtomyhutfortheshotgun,madesureitwasloaded,andwentdowntotheGhost。Withsomedifficulty,andattheexpenseofawettingtothewaist,Iclimbedaboard。Theforecastlescuttlewasopen。Ipausedtolistenforthebreathingofthemen,buttherewasnobreathing。Ialmostgaspedasthethoughtcametome:WhatiftheGhostisdeserted?Ilistenedmoreclosely。Therewasnosound。Icautiouslydescendedtheladder。Theplacehadtheemptyandmustyfeelandsmellusualtoadwellingnolongerinhabited。Everywherewasathicklitterofdiscardedandraggedgarments,oldsea—boots,leakyoilskins——alltheworthlessforecastledunnageofalongvoyage。 Abandonedhastily,wasmyconclusion,asIascendedtothedeck。Hopewasaliveagaininmybreast,andIlookedaboutmewithgreatercoolness。 Inotedthattheboatsweremissing。Thesteeragetoldthesametaleastheforecastle。Thehuntershadpackedtheirbelongingswithsimilarhaste。 TheGhostwasdeserted。ItwasMaud’sandmine。Ithoughtoftheship’sstoresandthelazarettebeneaththecabin,andtheideacametomeofsurprisingMaudwithsomethingniceforbreakfast。 Thereactionfrommyfear,andtheknowledgethattheterribledeedIhadcometodowasnolongernecessary,mademeboyishandeager。Iwentupthesteeragecompanionwaytwostepsatatime,withnothingdistinctinmymindexceptjoyandthehopethatMaudwouldsleeponuntilthesurprisebreakfastwasquitereadyforher。AsIroundedthegalley,anewsatisfactionwasmineatthoughtofallthesplendidcookingutensilsinside。Isprangupthebreakofthepoop,andsaw——WolfLarsen。Whatofmyimpetusandthestunningsurprise,IclatteredthreeorfourstepsalongthedeckbeforeIcouldstopmyself。Hewasstandinginthecompanionway,onlyhisheadandshouldersvisible,staringstraightatme。Hisarmswererestingonthehalf—openslide。Hemadenomovementwhatever——simplystoodthere,staringatme。 Ibegantotremble。Theoldstomachsicknessclutchedme。putonehandontheedgeofthehousetosteadymyself。MylipsseemedsuddenlydryandImoistenedthemagainsttheneedofspeech。Nordidforaninstanttakemyeyesoffhim。Neitherofusspoke。Therewassomethingominousinhissilence,hisimmobility。Allmyoldfearofhimreturnedandbynewfearwasincreasedanhundredfold。Andstillwestood,thepairofus,staringateachother。 Iwasawareofthedemandforaction,and,myoldhelplessnessstronguponme,Iwaswaitingforhimtotaketheinitiative。Then,asthemomentswentby,itcametomethatthesituationwasanalogoustotheoneinwhichIhadapproachedthelong—manedbull,myintentionofclubbingobscuredbyfearuntilitbecameadesiretomakehimrun。SoitwasatlastimpresseduponmethatIwasthere,nottohaveWolfLarsentaketheinitiative,buttotakeitmyself。 Icockedbothbarrelsandlevelledtheshotgunathim。Hadhemoved,attemptedtodropdownthecompanionway,IknowIwouldhaveshothim。