第20章

类别:其他 作者:Nicholas Sparks字数:10540更新时间:19/01/07 14:33:58
\"Yes……?\"sheaccentuatedinterrogatively。 \"Youhavetheawfulnessofthepredestined。You,too,arethepreyofdreams。\" \"NotoftheMoors,then,\"sheuttered,calmly,beginningtheotherplait。D’Alcacerfollowedtheoperationtotheend。Closeagainsther,herdiaphanousshadowonthemuslinreproducedherslightestmovements。D’Alcacerturnedhiseyesaway。 \"No!Nobarbarianshalltouchyou。BecauseifitcomestothatI believeHEwouldbecapableofkillingyouhimself。\" Aminuteelapsedbeforehestoleaglanceinherdirection。Shewasleaningbackagain,herhandshadfallenonherlapandherheadwithaplaitofhaironeachsideofherface,herheadincrediblychangedincharacterandsuggestingsomethingmedieval,ascetic,droopeddreamilyonherbreast。 D’Alcacerwaited,holdinghisbreath。Shedidn’tmove。Inthedimgleamofjewelledclasps,thefaintsheenofgoldembroideriesandtheshimmerofsilks,shewaslikeafigureinafadedpainting。Onlyherneckappeareddazzlinglywhiteinthesmokyrednessofthelight。D’Alcacer’swonderapproachedafeelingofawe。HewasonthepointofmovingawayquietlywhenMrs。 Travers,withoutstirringintheleast,lethimhearthewords: \"Ihavetoldhimthateverydayseemedmoredifficulttolive。 Don’tyouseehowimpossiblethisis?\" D’AlcacerglancedrapidlyacrosstheCagewhereMr。Traversseemedtobeasleepallinaheapandpresentingaruffledappearancelikeasickbird。Nothingwasdistinctofhimbutthebaldpatchonthetopofhishead。 \"Yes,\"hemurmured,\"itismostunfortunate……Iunderstandyouranxiety,Mrs。Travers,but……\" \"Iamfrightened,\"shesaid。 Hereflectedamoment。\"Whatanswerdidyouget?\"heasked,softly。 \"Theanswerwas:’Patience。’\" D’Alcacerlaughedalittle。——\"Youmaywelllaugh,\"murmuredMrs。 Traversinatoneofanguish。——\"That’swhyIdid,\"hewhispered。 \"Patience!Didn’theseethehorrorofit?\"——\"Idon’tknow。Hewalkedaway,\"saidMrs。Travers。Shelookedimmovablyatherhandsclaspedinherlap,andthenwithaburstofdistress,\"Mr。 d’Alcacer,whatisgoingtohappen?\"——\"Ah,youareaskingyourselfthequestionatlast。THATwillhappenwhichcannotbeavoided;andperhapsyouknowbestwhatitis。\"——\"No。Iamstillaskingmyselfwhathewilldo。\"——\"Ah,thatisnotformetoknow,\"declaredd’Alcacer。\"Ican’ttellyouwhathewilldo,butIknowwhatwillhappentohim。\"——\"Tohim,yousay!Tohim!\"shecried。——\"Hewillbreakhisheart,\"saidd’Alcacer,distinctly,bendingalittleoverthechairwithaslightgaspathisownaudacity——andwaited。 \"Croyez—vous?\"cameatlastfromMrs。Traversinanaccentsocoldlylanguidthatd’Alcacerfeltashudderrundownhisspine。 Wasitpossiblethatshewasthatkindofwoman,heaskedhimself。Didsheseenothingintheworldoutsideherself?Wassheabovethecommonestkindofcompassion?Hecouldn’tsuspectMrs。Traversofstupidity;butshemighthavebeenheartlessand,likesomewomenofherclass,quiteunabletorecognizeanyemotionintheworldexceptherown。D’Alcacerwasshockedandatthesametimehewasrelievedbecauseheconfessedtohimselfthathehadventuredveryfar。However,inherhumanityshewasnotvulgarenoughtobeoffended。Shewasnottheslaveofsmallmeannesses。Thisthoughtpleasedd’Alcacerwhohadschooledhimselfnottoexpecttoomuchfrompeople。Buthedidn’tknowwhattodonext。Afterwhathehadventuredtosayandafterthemannerinwhichshehadmethisaudacitytheonlythingtodowastochangetheconversation。Mrs。Traversremainedperfectlystill。\"IwillpretendthatIthinksheisasleep,\"hethoughttohimself,meditatingaretreatontip—toe。 Hedidn’tknowthatMrs。Traverswassimplytryingtorecoverthefullcommandofherfaculties。Hiswordshadgivenheraterribleshock。Aftermanagingtoutterthisdefensive\"croyez—vous\"whichcameoutofherlipscoldandfaintasifinalasteffortofdyingstrength,shefeltherselfturnrigidandspeechless。Shewasthinking,stiffalloverwithemotion:\"D’Alcacerhasseenit!Howmuchmorehashebeenabletosee?\"Shedidn’taskherselfthatquestioninfearorshamebutwitharecklessresignation。Outofthatshockcameasensationofpeace。A glowingwarmthpassedthroughallherlimbs。Ifd’Alcacerhadpeeredbythatsmokylightintoherfacehemighthaveseenonherlipsafatalisticsmilecomeandgo。Butd’Alcacerwouldnothavedreamedofdoingsuchathing,and,besides,hisattentionjustthenwasdrawninanotherdirection。Hehadheardsubduedexclamations,hadnoticedastironthedecksoftheEmma,andevensomesortofnoiseoutsidetheship。 \"Thesearestrangesounds,\"hesaid。 \"Yes,Ihear,\"Mrs。Traversmurmured,uneasily。 VagueshapesglidedoutsidetheCage,barefooted,almostnoiseless,whisperingMalaywordssecretly。 \"Itseemsasthoughaboathadcomealongside,\"observedd’Alcacer,lendinganattentiveear。\"Iwonderwhatitmeans。Inourposition……\" \"Itmaymeananything,\"interruptedMrs。Travers。 \"Jaffirishere,\"saidavoiceinthedarknessoftheafterendoftheship。Thenthereweresomemorewordsinwhichd’Alcacer’sattentiveearcaughttheword\"surat。\" \"Amessageofsomesorthascome,\"hesaid。\"TheywillbecallingCaptainLingard。Iwonderwhatthoughtsorwhatdreamsthiscallwillinterrupt。\"Hespokelightly,lookingnowatMrs。Traverswhohadalteredherpositioninthechair;andbytheirtonesandattitudesthesetwomighthavebeenonboardtheyachtsailingtheseainperfectsafety。\"You,ofcourse,aretheonewhowillbetold。Don’tyoufeelasortofexcitement,Mrs。Travers?\" \"Ihavebeenlatelyexhortedtopatience,\"shesaidinthesameeasytone。\"IcanwaitandIimagineIshallhavetowaittillthemorning。\" \"Itcan’tbeverylateyet,\"hesaid。\"Timewithushasbeenstandingstillforeversolong。Andyetthismaybethehouroffate。\" \"Isthisthefeelingyouhaveatthisparticularmoment?\" \"Ihavehadthatfeelingforaconsiderablenumberofmomentsalready。Atfirstitwasexciting。NowIamonlymoderatelyanxious。Ihaveemployedmytimeingoingoverallmypastlife。\" \"Canonereallydothat?\" \"Yes。Ican’tsayIhavebeenboredtoextinction。Iamstillalive,asyousee;butIhavedonewiththatandIfeelextremelyidle。ThereisonlyonethingIwouldliketodo。Iwanttofindafewwordsthatcouldconveytoyoumygratitudeforallyourfriendlinessinthepast,atthetimewhenyouletmeseesomuchofyouinLondon。IfeltalwaysthatyoutookmeonmyowntermsandthatsokindlythatoftenIfeltinclinedtothinkbetterofmyself。ButIamafraidIamwearyingyou,Mrs。Travers。\" \"Iassureyouyouhaveneverdonethat——inthepast。AndastothepresentmomentIbegyounottogoaway。Staybymeplease。 Wearenotgoingtopretendthatwearesleepyatthisearlyhour。\" D’Alcacerbroughtastoolclosetothelongchairandsatdownonit。\"Oh,yes,thepossiblehouroffate,\"hesaid。\"Ihavearequesttomake,Mrs。Travers。Idon’taskyoutobetrayanything。Whatwouldbethegood?Theissuewhenitcomeswillbeplainenough。ButIshouldliketogetawarning,justsomethingthatwouldgivemetimetopullmyselftogether,tocomposemyselfasitwere。Iwantyoutopromisemethatifthebalancetipsagainstusyouwillgivemeasign。Youcould,forinstance,seizetheopportunitywhenIamlookingatyoutoputyourlefthandtoyourforeheadlikethis。ItisagesturethatIhaveneverseenyoumake,andso……\" \"Jorgenson!\"Lingard’svoicewasheardforwardwherethelightofalanternappearedsuddenly。Then,afterapause,Lingardwasheardagain:\"Here!\" Thenthesilentminutesbegantogoby。Mrs。Traversreclininginherchairandd’Alcacersittingonthestoolwaitedmotionlesswithoutaword。PresentlythroughthesubduedmurmursandagitationpervadingthedarkdeckoftheEmmaMrs。Traversheardafirmfootstep,and,lanterninhand,Lingardappearedoutsidethemuslincage。 \"Willyoucomeoutandspeaktome?\"hesaid,loudly。\"Notyou。 Thelady,\"headdedinanauthoritativetoneasd’Alcacerrosehastilyfromthestool。\"IwantMrs。Travers。\" \"Ofcourse,\"mutteredd’AlcacertohimselfandasheopenedthedooroftheCagetoletMrs。Traversslipthroughhewhisperedtoher,\"Thisisthehouroffate。\" Shebrushedpasthimswiftlywithouttheslightestsignthatshehadheardthewords。OntheafterdeckbetweentheCageandthedeckhouseLingardwaited,lanterninhand。Nobodyelsewasvisibleabout;butd’Alcacerfeltintheairthepresenceofsilentandexcitedbeingshoveringoutsidethecircleoflight。 LingardraisedthelanternasMrs。Traversapproachedandd’Alcacerheardhimsay: \"Ihavehadnewswhichyououghttoknow。Letusgointothedeckhouse。\" D’Alcacersawtheirheadslightedupbytheraisedlanternsurroundedbythedepthsofshadowwithaneffectofamarvellousandsymbolicvision。HeheardMrs。Traverssay\"Iwouldrathernothearyournews,\"inatonethatmadethatsensitiveobserverpurseuphislipsinwonder。Hethoughtthatshewasover—wrought,thatthesituationhadgrowntoomuchforhernerves。Butthiswasnotthetoneofafrightenedperson。Itflashedthroughhismindthatshehadbecomeself—conscious,andtherehestoppedinhisspeculation。Thatfriendofwomenremaineddiscreeteveninhisthoughts。HesteppedbackwardfurtherintotheCageandwithoutsurprisesawMrs。TraversfollowLingardintothedeckhouse。 IV Lingardstoodthelanternonthetable。Itslightwasverypoor。 Hedroppedontothesea—chestheavily。He,too,wasover—wrought。Hisflannelshirtwasopenattheneck。Hehadabroadbeltroundhiswaistandwaswithouthisjacket。Beforehim,Mrs。Travers,straightandtallinthegaysilks,cottons,andmuslinsofheroutlandishdress,withtheendsofthescarfthrownoverherhead,hangingdowninfrontofher,lookeddimlysplendidandwithablackglanceoutofherwhiteface。Hesaid: \"Doyou,too,wanttothrowmeover?Itellyouyoucan’tdothatnow。\" \"Iwasn’tthinkingofthrowingyouover,butIdon’tevenknowwhatyoumean。ThereseemtobenoendofthingsIcan’tdo。 Hadn’tyoubettertellmeofsomethingthatIcoulddo?Haveyouanyideayourselfwhatyouwantfromme?\" \"Youcanletmelookatyou。Youcanlistentome。Youcanspeaktome。\" \"Frankly,Ihavenevershirkeddoingallthosethings,wheneveryouwantedmeto。Youhaveledme……\" \"Iledyou!\"criedLingard。 \"Oh!Itwasmyfault,\"shesaid,withoutanger。\"Imusthavedreamedthenthatitwasyouwhocametomeinthedarkwiththetaleofyourimpossiblelife。CouldIhavesentyouaway?\" \"Iwishyouhad。Whydidn’tyou?\" \"Doyouwantmetotellyouthatyouwereirresistible?HowcouldIhavesentyouaway?Butyou!Whatmadeyoucomebacktomewithyourveryheartonyourlips?\" WhenLingardspokeafteratimeitwasinjerkysentences。 \"Ididn’tstoptothink。Ihadbeenhurt。Ididn’tthinkofyoupeopleasladiesandgentlemen。IthoughtofyouaspeoplewhoselivesIheldinmyhand。Howwasitpossibletoforgetyouinmytrouble?ItisyourfacethatIbroughtbackwithmeonboardmybrig。Idon’tknowwhy。Ididn’tlookatyoumorethanatanybodyelse。Ittookmeallmytimetokeepmytemperdownlestitshouldburnyouallup。Ididn’twanttoberudetoyoupeople,butIfounditwasn’tveryeasybecausethreatsweretheonlyargumentIhad。WasIveryoffensive,Mrs。Travers?\" Shehadlistenedtenseandveryattentive,almoststern。Anditwaswithouttheslightestchangeofexpressionthatshesaid: \"IthinkthatyouboreyourselfappropriatelytothestateoflifetowhichithaspleasedGodtocallyou。\" \"Whatstate?\"mutteredLingardtohimself。\"IamwhatIam。TheycallmeRajahLaut,KingTom,andsuchlike。Ithinkitamusedyoutohearit,butIcantellyouitisnojoketohavesuchnamesfastenedonone,eveninfun。Andthoseverynameshaveinthemsomethingwhichmakesallthisaffairherenosmallmattertoanybody。\" Shestoodbeforehimwithaset,severeface。——\"Didyoucallmeoutinthisalarmingmanneronlytoquarrelwithme?\"——\"No,butwhydoyouchoosethistimetotellmethatmycomingforhelptoyouwasnothingbutimpudenceinyoursight?Well,Ibegyourpardonforintrudingonyourdignity。\"——\"Youmisunderstoodme,\" saidMrs。Travers,withoutrelaxingforamomenthercontemplativeseverity。\"Suchaflatteringthinghadneverhappenedtomebeforeanditwillneverhappentomeagain。Butbelieveme,KingTom,youdidmetoomuchhonour。Jorgensonisperfectlyrightinbeingangrywithyouforhavingtakenawomanintow。\"——\"Hedidn’tmeantoberude,\"protestedLingard,earnestly。Mrs。Traversdidn’tevensmileatthisintrusionofapointofmannersintotheatmosphereofanguishandsuspensethatseemedalwaystoarisebetweenherandthismanwho,sittingonthesea—chest,hadraisedhiseyestoherwithanairofextremecandourandseemedunabletotakethemoffagain。Shecontinuedtolookathimsternlybyatremendouseffortofwill。 \"Howchangedyouare,\"hemurmured。 Hewaslostinthedepthsofthesimplestwonder。Sheappearedtohimvengefulandasifturnedforeverintostonebeforehisbewilderedremorse。Forever。SuddenlyMrs。Traverslookedroundandsatdowninthechair。Herstrengthfailedherbutsheremainedausterewithherhandsrestingonthearmsofherseat。 Lingardsigheddeeplyanddroppedhiseyes。Shedidnotdarerelaxhermusclesforfearofbreakingdownaltogetherandbetrayingarecklessimpulsewhichlurkedatthebottomofherdismay,toseizetheheadofd’Alcacer’sManofFate,pressittoherbreastonce,flingitfaraway,andvanishherself,vanishoutoflifelikeawraith。TheManofFatesatsilentandbowed,yetwithasuggestionofstrengthinhisdejection。\"IfIdon’tspeak,\"Mrs。Traverssaidtoherself,withgreatinwardcalmness,\"Ishallburstintotears。\"Shesaidaloud,\"Whatcouldhavehappened?Whathaveyoudraggedmeinherefor?Whydon’tyoutellmeyournews?\" \"Ithoughtyoudidn’twanttohear。Ibelieveyoureallydon’twantto。Whatisallthistoyou?Ibelievethatyoudon’tcareanythingaboutwhatIfeel,aboutwhatIdoandhowIend。I verilybelievethatyoudon’tcarehowyouendyourself。I believeyounevercaredforyourownoranybody’sfeelings。I don’tthinkitisbecauseyouarehard,Ithinkitisbecauseyoudon’tknow,anddon’twanttoknow,andareangrywithlife。\" Heflourishedanarmrecklessly,andMrs。Traversnoticedforthefirsttimethatheheldasheetofpaperinhishand。 \"Isthatyournewsthere?\"sheasked,significantly。\"It’sdifficulttoimaginethatinthiswildernesswritingcanhaveanysignificance。Andwhoonearthherecouldsendyounewsonpaper? Willyouletmeseeit?CouldIunderstandit?IsitinEnglish? Come,KingTom,don’tlookatmeinthisawfulway。\" Shegotupsuddenly,notinindignation,butasifattheendofherendurance。Thejewelledclasps,thegoldembroideries,gleamedelusivelyamongstthefoldsofherdraperieswhichemittedamysteriousrustle。 \"Ican’tstandthis,\"shecried。\"Ican’tstandbeinglookedatlikethis。Nowomancouldstandit。Nowomanhaseverbeenlookedatlikethis。Whatcanyousee?HatredIcouldunderstand。Whatisityouthinkmecapableof?\" \"Youareveryextraordinary,\"murmuredLingard,whohadregainedhisself—possessionbeforethatoutburst。 \"Verywell,andyouareextraordinary,too。That’sunderstood——herewearebothunderthatcurseandhavingtofacetogetherwhatevermayturnup。Butwhoonearthcouldhavesentyouthiswriting?\" \"Who?\"repeatedLingard。\"Why,thatyoungfellowthatblunderedonmybriginthedark,bringingaboatloadoftroublealongsideonthatquietnightinCarimataStraits。ThedarkestnightIhaveeverknown。Anaccursednight。\" Mrs。Traversbitherlip,waitedalittle,thenaskedquietly: \"Whatdifficultyhashegotintonow?\" \"Difficulty!\"criedLingard。\"Heisimmenselypleasedwithhimself,theyoungfool。Youknow,whenyousenthimtotalktomethateveningyoulefttheyacht,hecamewithaloadedpistolinhispocket。Andnowhehasgoneanddoneit。\" \"Doneit?\"repeatedMrs。Traversblankly。\"Donewhat?\" ShesnatchedfromLingard’sunresistingpalmthesheetofpaper。 WhileshewassmoothingitLingardmovedroundandstoodcloseatherelbow。Sheranquicklyoverthefirstlines,thenhereyessteadied。AttheendshedrewaquickbreathandlookedupatLingard。TheirfaceshadneverbeensoclosetogetherbeforeandMrs。Travershadasurprisingsecondofaperfectlynewsensation。Shelookedaway。——\"Doyouunderstandwhatthisnewsmeans?\"hemurmured。Mrs。Traversletherhandfallbyherside。 \"Yes,\"shesaidinalowtone。\"Thecompactisbroken。\" Carterhadbegunhisletterwithoutanypreliminaries: Youclearedoutinthemiddleofthenightandtooktheladyawaywithyou。Youleftmenoproperorders。ButasasailormanI lookeduponmyselfasleftinchargeoftwoshipswhilewithinhalfamileonthatsandbankthereweremorethanahundredpiraticalcut—throatswatchingmeascloselyassomanytigersabouttoleap。Dayswentbywithoutawordofyouorthelady。Toleavetheshipsoutsideandgoinlandtolookforyouwasnottobethoughtofwithallthosepirateswithinspringingdistance。 Putyourselfinmyplace。Can’tyouimaginemyanxiety,mysleeplessnights?Eachnightworsethanthenightbefore。Andstillnowordfromyou。Icouldn’tsitstillandworrymyheadoffaboutthingsIcouldn’tunderstand。Iamasailorman。Myfirstdutywastotheships。IhadtoputanendtothisimpossiblesituationandIhopeyouwillagreethatIhavedoneitinaseamanlikeway。OnemistymorningImovedthebrignearerthesandbankanddirectlythemistclearedIopenedfireontheprausofthosesavageswhichwereanchoredinthechannel。Weaimedwideatfirsttogivethosevagabondsthatwereonboardachancetoclearoutandjointheirfriendscampedonthesands。I didn’twanttokillpeople。Thenwegotthelongguntobearandinaboutanhourwehadthebottomknockedoutofthetwopraus。 Thesavagesonthebankhowledandscreamedateveryshot。TheyaremightyangrybutIdon’tcarefortheirangernow,forbysinkingtheirprausIhavemadethemasharmlessasaflockoflambs。Theyneedn’tstarveontheirsandbankbecausetheyhavetwoorthreedugoutshauleduponthesandandtheymayferrythemselvesandtheirwomentothemainlandwhenevertheylike。 IfancyIhaveactedasaseamanandasaseamanIintendtogoonacting。NowIhavemadetheshipssafeIshallsetaboutwithoutlossoftimetryingtogettheyachtoffthemud。Whenthat’sdoneIshallarmtheboatsandproceedinshoretolookforyouandtheyacht’sgentry,andshan’tresttillIknowwhetheranyorallofyouareabovetheearthyet。 Ihopethesewordswillreachyou。JustaswehaddonethebusinessofthoseprausthemanyousentoffthatnightinCarimatatostopourchiefofficercamesailinginfromthewestwithourfirstgigintowandtheboat’screwallwell。YourserangtellsmeheisamosttrustworthymessengerandthathisnameisJaffir。Heseemsonlytooanxioustotrytogettoyouassoonaspossible。Irepeat,shipsandmenhavebeenmadesafeandIdon’tmeantogiveyouupdeadoralive。 \"Youarequickintakingthepoint,\"saidLingardinadullvoice,whileMrs。Travers,withthesheetofpapergrippedinherhand,lookedintohisfacewithanxiouseyes。\"Hehasbeensmartandnomistake。\" \"Hedidn’tknow,\"murmuredMrs。Travers。 \"No,hedidn’tknow。ButcouldItakeeverybodyintomyconfidence?\"protestedLingardinthesamelowtone。\"AndyetwhoelsecouldItrust?Itseemedtomethathemusthaveunderstoodwithoutbeingtold。Butheistooyoung。Hemaywellbeproudaccordingtohislights。Hehasdonethatjoboutsideverysmartly——damnhissmartness!Andherewearewithallourlivesdependingonmyword——whichisbrokennow,Mrs。Travers。Itisbroken。\" Mrs。Traversnoddedathimslightly。 \"Theywouldsoonerhaveexpectedtoseethesunandthemoonfalloutofthesky,\"Lingardcontinuedwithrepressedfire。NextmomentitseemedtohavegoneoutofhimandMrs。Traversheardhimmutteradisconnectedphrase……\"Theworlddownaboutmyears。\" \"Whatwillyoudo?\"shewhispered。 \"WhatwillIdo?\"repeatedLingard,gently。\"Oh,yes——do。Mrs。 Travers,doyouseethatIamnothingnow?Justnothing。\" Hehadlosthimselfinthecontemplationofherfaceturnedtohimwithanexpressionofawedcuriosity。TheshockoftheworldcomingdownabouthisearsinconsequenceofCarter’ssmartnesswassoterrificthatithaddulledhissensibilitiesinthemannerofagreatpainorofagreatcatastrophe。Whatwastheretolookatbutthatwoman’sface,inaworldwhichhadlostitsconsistency,itsshape,anditspromisesinamoment? Mrs。Traverslookedaway。SheunderstoodthatshehadputtoLingardanimpossiblequestion。Whatwaspresentingitselftoherasaproblemwastothatmanacrisisoffeeling。ObviouslyCarter’sactionhadbrokenthecompactenteredintowithDaman,andshewasintelligentenoughtounderstandthatitwasthesortofthingthatcouldnotbeexplainedaway。Itwasn’thorrorthatshefelt,butasortofconsternation,somethinglikethediscomfitureofpeoplewhohavejustmissedtheirtrain。Itwasonlymoreintense。Therealdismayhadyettomakeitswayintohercomprehension。ToLingarditwasablowstruckstraightathisheart。 HewasnotangrywithCarter。Thefellowhadactedlikeaseaman。 Carter’sconcernwasfortheships。InthisfatalityCarterwasamereincident。Therealcauseofthedisasterwassomewhereelse,wasother,andmoreremote。AndatthesametimeLingardcouldnotdefendhimselffromafeelingthatitwasinhimself,too,somewhereintheunexploreddepthsofhisnature,somethingfatalandunavoidable。Hemutteredtohimself: \"No。Iamnotaluckyman。\" Thiswasbutafeebleexpressionofthediscoveryofthetruththatsuddenlyhadcomehometohimasifdrivenintohisbreastbyarevealingpowerwhichhaddecidedthatthiswastobetheendofhisfling。Buthewasnotthemantogivehimselfuptotheexaminationofhisownsensations。Hisnaturalimpulsewastograpplewiththecircumstancesandthatwaswhathewastryingtodo;buthemissednowthatsenseofmasterywhichishalfthebattle。Conflictofsomesortwastheveryessenceofhislife。 Butthiswassomethinghehadneverknownbefore。Thiswasaconflictwithinhimself。Hehadtofaceunsuspectedpowers,foesthathecouldnotgoouttomeetatthegate。Theywerewithin,asthoughhehadbeenbetrayedbysomebody,bysomesecretenemy。 Hewasreadytolookroundforthatsubtletraitor。Asortofblanknessfellonhismindandhesuddenlythought:\"Why!It’smyself。\" Immediatelyafterwardhehadaclear,mercilessrecollectionofHassimandImmada。Hesawthemfaroffbeyondtheforests。Oh,yes,theyexisted——withinhisbreast! \"Thatwasanight!\"hemuttered,lookingstraightatMrs。 Travers。Hehadbeenlookingatherallthetime。Hisglancehadheldherunderaspell,butforawholeinterminableminutehehadnotbeenawareofheratall。Atthemurmurofhiswordsshemadeaslightmovementandhesawheragain。——\"Whatnight?\"shewhispered,timidly,likeanintruder。Shewasastonishedtoseehimsmile。——\"Notlikethisone,\"hesaid。\"Youmademenoticehowquietandstillitwas。Yes。Listenhowstillitis。\" Bothmovedtheirheadsslightlyandseemedtolendanear。Therewasnotamurmur,sigh,rustle,splash,orfootfall。Nowhispers,notremors,notasoundofanykind。TheymighthavebeenaloneonboardtheEmma,abandonedevenbytheghostofCaptainJorgensondepartedtorejointheBarqueWildRoseontheshoreoftheCimmeriansea。——\"It’slikethestillnessoftheend,\"saidMrs。Traversinalow,equablevoice。——\"Yes,butthat,too,isfalse,\"saidLingardinthesametone。——\"Idon’tunderstand,\" Mrs。Traversbegan,hurriedly,afterashortsilence。\"Butdon’tusethatword。Don’tuseit,KingTom!Itfrightensmebyitsmeresound。\" Lingardmadenosign。HisthoughtswerebackwithHassimandImmada。TheyoungchiefandhissisterhadgoneupcountryonavoluntarymissiontopersuadeBelarabtoreturntohisstockadeandtotakeupagainthedirectionofaffairs。TheycarriedurgentmessagesfromLingard,whoforBelarabwastheveryembodimentoftruthandforce,thatunquestionedforcewhichhadpermittedBelarabtoindulgeinallhismelancholyhesitations。 Butthosetwoyoungpeoplehadalsosomepersonalprestige。TheywereLingard’sheart’sfriends。Theywerelikehischildren。Butbesidethat,theirhighbirth,theirwarlikestory,theirwanderings,adventures,andprospectshadgiventhemaglamouroftheirown。