第16章

类别:其他 作者:Nicholas Sparks字数:10200更新时间:19/01/07 14:33:58
\"Didyouseethemboth,Jorgenson?\"askedLingard。 \"Madeoutnobody。Toofar。Toodark。\" AsamatteroffactJorgensonhadseennothing,aboutanhourbeforedaybreak,butthedistantglareoftorcheswhiletheloudshoutsofanexcitedmultitudehadreachedhimacrossthewateronlylikeafaintandtempestuousmurmur。Presentlythelightswentawayprocessionallythroughthegrovesoftreesintothearmedstockades。Thedistantglarevanishedinthefadingdarknessandthemurmursoftheinvisiblecrowdceasedsuddenlyasifcarriedoffbytheretreatingshadowofthenight。Daylightfollowedswiftly,disclosingtothesleeplessJorgensonthesolitudeoftheshoreandtheghostlyoutlinesofthefamiliarformsofgroupedtreesandscatteredhumanhabitations。Hehadwatchedthevariedcolourscomeoutinthedawn,thewidecultivatedSettlementofmanyshadesofgreen,framedfarawaybythefineblacklinesoftheforest—edgethatwasitslimitanditsprotection。 Mrs。Traversstoodagainsttherailasmotionlessasastatue。 Herfacehadlostallitsmobilityandhercheeksweredeadwhiteasifallthebloodinherbodyhadflowedbackintoherheartandhadremainedthere。Herverylipshadlosttheircolour。 Lingardcaughtholdofherarmroughly。 \"Don’t,Mrs。Travers。Whyareyouterrifyingyourselflikethis? Ifyoudon’tbelievewhatIsaylistentomeaskingJorgenson……\" \"Yes,askme,\"mumbledJorgensoninhiswhitemoustache。 \"Speakstraight,Jorgenson。Whatdoyouthink?Arethegentlemenalive?\" \"Certainly,\"saidJorgensoninasortofdisappointedtoneasthoughhehadexpectedamuchmoredifficultquestion。 \"Istheirlifeinimmediatedanger?\" \"Ofcoursenot,\"saidJorgenson。 Lingardturnedawayfromtheoracle。\"Youhaveheardhim,Mrs。 Travers。Youmaybelieveeverywordhesays。Thereisn’tathoughtorapurposeinthatSettlement,\"hecontinued,pointingatthedumbsolitudeofthelagoon,\"thatthismandoesn’tknowasiftheywerehisown。\" \"Iknow。Askme,\"mutteredJorgenson,mechanically。 Mrs。Traverssaidnothingbutmadeaslightmovementandherwholerigidfigureswayeddangerously。LingardputhisarmfirmlyroundherwaistandshedidnotseemawareofittillaftershehadturnedherheadandfoundLingard’sfaceverynearherown。 Buthiseyesfullofconcernlookedsocloseintohersthatshewasobligedtoshutthemlikeawomanabouttofaint。 TheeffectthisproduceduponLingardwassuchthatshefeltthetighteningofhisarmandassheopenedhereyesagainsomeofthecolourreturnedtoherface。Shemetthedeepenedexpressionofhissolicitudewithalooksosteady,withagazethatinspiteofherselfwassoprofoundlyvividthatitsclearnessseemedtoLingardtothrowallhispastlifeintoshade。——\"I don’tfeelfaint。Itisn’tthatatall,\"shedeclaredinaperfectlycalmvoice。ItseemedtoLingardascoldasice。 \"Verywell,\"heagreedwitharesignedsmile。\"Butyoujustcatchholdofthatrail,please,beforeIletyougo。\"She,too,forcedasmileonherlips。 \"Whatincredulity,\"sheremarked,andforatimemadenottheslightestmovement。Atlast,asifmakingaconcession,sherestedthetipsofherfingersontherail。Lingardgraduallyremovedhisarm。\"Andpraydon’tlookuponmeasaconventional’weakwoman’person,thedelicateladyofyourownconception,\" shesaid,facingLingard,withherarmextendedtotherail。 \"Makethateffortpleaseagainstyourownconceptionofwhatawomanlikemeshouldbe。Iamperhapsasstrongasyouare,CaptainLingard。Imeanitliterally。Inmybody。\"——\"Don’tyouthinkIhaveseenthatlongago?\"sheheardhisdeepvoiceprotesting。——\"Andastomycourage,\"Mrs。Traverscontinued,herexpressioncharminglyundecidedbetweenfrownsandsmiles; \"didn’tItellyouonlyafewhoursago,onlylastevening,thatIwasnotcapableofthinkingmyselfintoafright;youremember,whenyouwerebeggingmetotrysomethingofthekind。Don’timaginethatIwouldhavebeenashamedtotry。ButIcouldn’thavedoneit。No。Notevenforthesakeofsomebodyelse’skingdom。Doyouunderstandme?\" \"Godknows,\"saidtheattentiveLingardafteratime,withanunexpectedsigh。\"Youpeopleseemtobemadeofanotherstuff。\" \"Whathasputthatabsurdnotionintoyourhead?\" \"Ididn’tmeanbetterorworse。AndIwouldn’tsayitisn’tgoodstuffeither。WhatImeanttosayisthatit’sdifferent。Onefeelsit。Andhereweare。\" \"Yes,hereweare,\"repeatedMrs。Travers。\"Andastothismomentofemotion,whatprovokeditisnotaconcernforanybodyoranythingoutsidemyself。Ifeltnoterror。Icannotevenfixmyfearsuponanydistinctimage。YouthinkIamshamelesslyheartlessintellingyouthis。\" Lingardmadenosign。Itdidn’toccurtohimtomakeasign。HesimplyhungonMrs。Travers’wordsasitwereonlyforthesakeofthesound。——\"Iamsimplyfrankwithyou,\"shecontinued。\"WhatdoIknowofsavagery,violence,murder?Ihaveneverseenadeadbodyinmylife。Thelight,thesilence,themysteriousemptinessofthisplacehavesuddenlyaffectedmyimagination,Isuppose。 Whatisthemeaningofthiswonderfulpeaceinwhichwestand——youandIalone?\" Lingardshookhishead。Hesawthenarrowgleamofthewoman’steethbetweenthepartedlipsofhersmile,asifalltheardourofherconvictionhadbeendissolvedattheendofherspeechintowistfulrecognitionoftheirpartnershipbeforethingsoutsidetheirknowledge。Andhewaswarmedbysomethingalittlehelplessinthatsmile。WithinthreefeetofthemtheshadeofJorgenson,verygauntandneat,staredintospace。 \"Yes。Youarestrong,\"saidLingard。\"Butawholelongnightsittinginasmallboat!Iwonderyouarenottoostifftostand。\" \"Iamnotstiffintheleast,\"sheinterrupted,stillsmiling。\"I amreallyaverystrongwoman,\"sheadded,earnestly。\"Whateverhappensyoumayreckononthatfact。\" Lingardgaveheranadmiringglance。ButtheshadeofJorgenson,perhapscatchinginitsremotenessthesoundofthewordwoman,wassuddenlymovedtobeginscoldingwithallthelibertyofaghost,inaflowofpassionlessindignation。 \"Woman!That’swhatIsay。That’sjustaboutthelasttouch——thatyou,TomLingard,red—eyedTom,KingTom,andallthosefinenames,thatyoushouldleaveyourweaponstwentymilesbehindyou,yourmen,yourguns,yourbrigthatisyourstrength,andcomealongherewithyourmouthfulloffight,bare—handedandwithawomanintow。——Well——well!\" \"Don’tforget,Jorgenson,thattheladyhearsyou,\"remonstratedLingardinavexedtone……\"Hedoesn’tmeantoberude,\"heremarkedtoMrs。Traversquiteloud,asifindeedJorgensonwerebutanimmaterialandfeelinglessillusion。\"Hehasforgotten。\" \"Thewomanisnotintheleastoffended。Iaskfornothingbetterthantobetakenonthatfooting。\" \"Forgotnothing!\"mumbledJorgensonwithasortofghostlyassertivenessandasitwereforhisownsatisfaction。\"What’stheworldcomingto?\" \"ItwasIwhoinsistedoncomingwithCaptainLingard,\"saidMrs。 Travers,treatingJorgensontoafascinatingsweetnessoftone。 \"That’swhatIsay!Whatistheworldcomingto?Hasn’tKingTomamindofhisown?Whathascomeoverhim?He’smad!Leavinghisbrigwithahundredandtwentybornandbredpiratesoftheworstkindintwoprausontheothersideofasandbank。Didyouinsistonthat,too?Hasheputhimselfinthehandsofastrangewoman?\" Jorgensonseemedtobeaskingthosequestionsofhimself。Mrs。 Traversobservedtheemptystare,theself—communingvoice,hisunearthlylackofanimation。Somehowitmadeitveryeasytospeakthewholetruthtohim。 \"No,\"shesaid,\"itisIwhoamaltogetherinhishands。\" NobodywouldhaveguessedthatJorgensonhadheardasinglewordofthatemphaticdeclarationifhehadnotaddressedhimselftoLingardwiththequestionneithermorenorlessabstractedthanallhisotherspeeches。 \"Whythendidyoubringheralong?\" \"Youdon’tunderstand。Itwasonlyrightandproper。Oneofthegentlemenisthelady’shusband。\" \"Oh,yes,\"mutteredJorgenson。\"Who’stheother?\" \"Youhavebeentold。Afriend。\" \"PoorMr。d’Alcacer,\"saidMrs。Travers。\"Whatbadluckforhimtohaveacceptedourinvitation。Butheisreallyamereacquaintance。\" \"Ihardlynoticedhim,\"observedLingard,gloomily。\"HewastalkingtoyouoverthebackofyourchairwhenIcameaboardtheyachtasifhehadbeenaverygoodfriend。\" \"Wealwaysunderstoodeachotherverywell,\"saidMrs。Travers,pickingupfromtherailthelongglassthatwaslyingthere。\"I alwayslikedhim,thefranknessofhismind,andhisgreatloyalty。\" \"Whatdidhedo?\"askedLingard。 \"Heloved,\"saidMrs。Travers,lightly。\"Butthat’sanoldstory。\"Sheraisedtheglasstohereyes,onearmextendedfullytosustainthelongtube,andLingardforgotd’Alcacerinadmiringthefirmnessofherposeandtheabsolutesteadinessoftheheavyglass。Shewasasfirmasarockafterallthoseemotionsandallthatfatigue。 Mrs。Traversdirectedtheglassinstinctivelytowardtheentranceofthelagoon。Thesmoothwaterthereshonelikeapieceofsilverinthedarkframeoftheforest。Ablackspecksweptacrossthefieldofhervision。Itwassometimebeforeshecouldfinditagainandthenshesaw,apparentlysonearastobewithinreachofthevoice,asmallcanoewithtwopeopleinit。 Shesawthewetpaddlesrisinganddippingwithaflashinthesunlight。ShemadeoutplainlythefaceofImmada,whoseemedtobelookingstraightintothebigendofthetelescope。Thechiefandhissister,afterrestingunderthebankforacoupleofhoursinthemiddleofthenight,hadenteredthelagoonandweremakingstraightforthehulk。Theywerealreadynearenoughtobeperfectlydistinguishabletothenakedeyeiftherehadbeenanybodyonboardtoglancethatway。Butnobodywaseventhinkingofthem。TheymightnothaveexistedexceptperhapsinthememoryofoldJorgenson。Butthatwasmostlybusywithallthemysterioussecretsofhislatetomb。 Mrs。Traversloweredtheglasssuddenly。Lingardcameoutfromasortoftranceandsaid: \"Mr。d’Alcacer。Loved!Whyshouldn’the?\" Mrs。TraverslookedfranklyintoLingard’sgloomyeyes。\"Itisn’tthatalone,ofcourse,\"shesaid。\"Firstofallheknewhowtoloveandthen……Youdon’tknowhowartificialandbarrencertainkindsoflifecanbe。ButMr。d’Alcacer’slifewasnotthat。Hisdevotionwasworthhaving。\" \"Youseemtoknowalotabouthim,’\"saidLingard,enviously。 \"Whydoyousmile?\"Shecontinuedtosmileathimforalittlewhile。Thelongbrasstubeoverhershouldershonelikegoldagainstthepalefairnessofherbarehead。——\"Atathought,\"sheanswered,preservingthelowtoneoftheconversationintowhichtheyhadfallenasiftheirwordscouldhavedisturbedtheself—absorptionofCaptainH。C。Jorgenson。\"AtthethoughtthatforallmylongacquaintancewithMr。d’AlcacerIdon’tknowhalfasmuchabouthimasIknowaboutyou。\" \"Ah,that’simpossible,\"contradictedLingard。\"SpaniardornoSpaniard,heisoneofyourkind。\" \"Tarredwiththesamebrush,\"murmuredMrs。Travers,withonlyahalf—amusedirony。ButLingardcontinued: \"Hewastryingtomakeitupbetweenmeandyourhusband,wasn’the?Iwastooangrytopaymuchattention,butIlikedhimwellenough。Whatpleasedmemostwasthewayinwhichhegaveitup。 Thatwasdonelikeagentleman。DoyouunderstandwhatImean,Mrs。Travers?\" \"Iquiteunderstand。\" \"Yes,youwould,\"hecommented,simply。\"ButjustthenIwastooangrytotalktoanybody。AndsoIclearedoutonboardmyownshipandstayedthere,notknowingwhattodoandwishingyouallatthebottomofthesea。Don’tmistakeme,Mrs。Travers;it’syou,thepeopleaft,thatIwishedatthebottomofthesea。I hadnothingagainstthepoordevilsonboard,Theywouldhavetrustedmequickenough。SoIfumedtheretill——till……\" \"Tillnineo’clockoralittleafter,\"suggestedMrs。Travers,impenetrably。 \"No。TillIrememberedyou,\"saidLingardwiththeutmostinnocence。 \"Doyoumeantosaythatyouforgotmyexistencesocompletelytillthen?Youhadspokentomeonboardtheyacht,youknow。\" \"DidI?IthoughtIdid。WhatdidIsay?\" \"Youtoldmenottotouchaduskyprincess,\"answeredMrs。 Traverswithashortlaugh。Thenwithavisiblechangeofmoodasifshehadsuddenlyoutofalightheartbeenrecalledtothesenseofthetruesituation:\"ButindeedImeantnoharmtothisfigureofyourdream。And,lookoverthere。Sheispursuingyou。\" Lingardglancedtowardthenorthshoreandsuppressedanexclamationofremorse。ForthesecondtimehediscoveredthathehadforgottentheexistenceofHassimandImmada。ThecanoewasnownearenoughforitsoccupantstodistinguishplainlytheheadsofthreepeopleabovethelowbulwarkoftheEmma。Immadaletherpaddletrailsuddenlyinthewater,withtheexclamation,\"Iseethewhitewomanthere。\"Herbrotherlookedoverhisshoulderandthecanoefloated,arrestedasifbythesuddenpowerofaspell。——\"Theyarenodreamtome,\"mutteredLingard,sturdily。Mrs。Traversturnedabruptlyawaytolookatthefurthershore。Itwasstillandemptytothenakedeyeandseemedtoquiverinthesunshinelikeanimmensepaintedcurtainloweredupontheunknown。 \"Here’sRajahHassimcoming,Jorgenson。Ihadanideahewouldperhapsstayoutside。\"Mrs。TraversheardLingard’svoiceatherbackandtheansweringgruntofJorgenson。Sheraiseddeliberatelythelongglasstohereye,pointingitattheshore。 ShedistinguishedplainlynowthecoloursintheflutterofthestreamersabovethebrownroofsofthelargeSettlement,thestirofpalmgroves,theblackshadowsinlandandthedazzlingwhitebeachofcoralsandallablazeinitsformidablemystery。Shesweptthewholerangeoftheviewandwasgoingtolowertheglasswhenfrombehindthemassiveangleofthestockadetheresteppedoutintothebrilliantimmobilityofthelandscapeamaninalongwhitegownandwithanenormousblackturbansurmountingadarkface。Slowandgravehepacedthebeachominouslyinthesunshine,anenigmaticalfigureinanOrientaltalewithsomethingweirdandmenacinginitssuddenemergenceandlonelyprogress。 WithaninvoluntarygaspMrs。Traversloweredtheglass。Allatoncebehindherbacksheheardalowmusicalvoicebeginningtopouroutincomprehensiblewordsinatoneofpassionatepleading。 HassimandImmadahadcomeonboardandhadapproachedLingard。 Yes!Itwasintolerabletofeelthatthisflowofsoftspeechwhichhadnomeaningforhercouldmakeitswaystraightintothatman’sheart。 PARTV。THEPOINTOFHONOURANDTHEPOINTOFPASSION I \"MayIcomein?\" \"Yes,\"saidavoicewithin。\"Thedoorisopen。\"Ithadawoodenlatch。Mr。Traverslifteditwhilethevoiceofhiswifecontinuedasheentered。\"DidyouimagineIhadlockedmyselfin? Didyoueverknowmelockmyselfin?\" Mr。Traversclosedthedoorbehindhim。\"No,ithasnevercometothat,\"hesaidinatonethatwasnotconciliatory。Inthatplacewhichwasaroominawoodenhutandhadasquareopeningwithoutglassbutwithahalf—closedshutterhecouldnotdistinguishhiswifeverywellatonce。Shewassittinginanarmchairandwhathecouldseebestwasherfairhairalllooseoverthebackofthechair。Therewasamomentofsilence。Themeasuredfootstepsoftwomenpacingathwartthequarter—deckofthedeadshipEmmacommandedbythederelictshadeofJorgensoncouldbeheardoutside。 Jorgenson,ontakinguphisdeadcommand,hadahouseofthinboardsbuiltontheafterdeckforhisownaccommodationandthatofLingardduringhisflyingvisitstotheShoreofRefuge。A narrowpassagedivideditintwoandLingard’ssidewasfurnishedwithacampbedstead,aroughdesk,andarattanarmchair。OnoneofhisvisitsLingardhadbroughtwithhimablackseaman’schestandleftitthere。Apartfromtheseobjectsandasmalllooking—glassworthabouthalfacrownandnailedtothewalltherewasnothingelseintherewhatever。WhatwasonJorgenson’ssideofthedeckhousenoonehadseen,butfromexternalevidenceonecouldinfertheexistenceofasetofrazors。 Theerectionofthatprimitivedeckhousewasamatterofproprietyratherthanofnecessity。Itwasproperthatthewhitemenshouldhaveaplacetothemselvesonboard,butLingardwasperfectlyaccuratewhenhetoldMrs。Traversthathehadneversleptthereonce。Hispracticewastosleepondeck。AstoJorgenson,ifhedidsleepatallhesleptverylittle。ItmighthavebeensaidthathehauntedratherthancommandedtheEmma。 Hiswhiteformflittedhereandthereinthenightorstoodforhours,silent,contemplatingthesombreglimmerofthelagoon。 Mr。Travers’eyesaccustomedgraduallytotheduskoftheplacecouldnowdistinguishmoreofhiswife’spersonthanthegreatmassofhoney—colouredhair。Hesawherface,thedarkeyebrowsandhereyesthatseemedprofoundlyblackinthehalflight。Hesaid: \"Youcouldn’thavedonesohere。Thereisneitherlocknorbolt。\" \"Isn’tthere?Ididn’tnotice。Iwouldknowhowtoprotectmyselfwithoutlocksandbolts。\" \"Iamgladtohearit,\"saidMr。Traversinasullentoneandfellsilentagainsurveyingthewomaninthechair。\"Indulgingyourtasteforfancydress,\"hewentonwithfaintirony。 Mrs。Traversclaspedherhandsbehindherhead。Thewidesleevesslippingbackbaredherarmstohershoulders。ShewaswearingaMalaythincottonjacket,cutlowintheneckwithoutacollarandfastenedwithwroughtsilverclaspsfromthethroatdownward。 Shehadreplacedheryachtingskirtbyabluechecksarongembroideredwiththreadsofgold。Mr。Travers’eyestravellingslowlydownattachedthemselvestothegleaminginstepofanagitatedfootfromwhichhungalightleathersandal。 \"IhadnoclotheswithmebutwhatIstoodin,\"saidMrs。 Travers。\"Ifoundmyyachtingcostumetooheavy。Itwasintolerable。IwassoakedindewwhenIarrived。Sowhenthesethingswereproducedformyinspection……\" \"Byenchantment,\"mutteredMr。Traversinatonetooheavyforsarcasm。 \"No。Outofthatchest。Thereareveryfinestuffsthere。\" \"Nodoubt,\"saidMr。Travers。\"Themanwouldn’tbeaboveplunderingthenatives……\"Hesatdownheavilyonthechest。 \"Amostappropriatecostumeforthisfarce,\"hecontinued。\"Butdoyoumeantowearitinopendaylightaboutthedecks?\" \"IndeedIdo,\"saidMrs。Travers。\"D’Alcacerhasseenmealreadyandhedidn’tseemshocked。\" \"Youshould,\"saidMr。Travers,\"trytogetyourselfpresentedwithsomebanglesforyouranklessothatyoumayjingleasyouwalk。\" \"Banglesarenotnecessities,\"saidMrs。Traversinawearytoneandwiththefixedupwardlookofapersonunwillingtorelinquishherdream。Mr。Traversdroppedthesubjecttoask: \"Andhowlongisthisfarcegoingtolast?\" Mrs。Traversunclaspedherhands,loweredherglance,andchangedherwholeposeinamoment。 \"Whatdoyoumeanbyfarce?Whatfarce?\" \"Theonewhichisbeingplayedatmyexpense。\" \"Youbelievethat?\" \"Notonlybelieve。Ifeeldeeplythatitisso。Atmyexpense。 It’samostsinisterthing,\"Mr。Traverspursued,stillwithdowncasteyesandinanunforgivingtone。\"ImusttellyouthatwhenIsawyouinthatcourtyardinacrowdofnativesandleaningonthatman’sarm,itgavemequiteashock。\" \"DidI,too,looksinister?\"saidMrs。Travers,turningherheadslightlytowardherhusband。\"AndyetIassureyouthatIwasglad,profoundlyglad,toseeyousafefromdangerforatimeatleast。Togaintimeiseverything……\" \"Iaskmyself,\"Mr。Traversmeditatedaloud,\"wasIeverindanger?AmIsafenow?Idon’tknow。Ican’ttell。No!Allthisseemsanabominablefarce。\" Therewasthatinhistonewhichmadehiswifecontinuetolookathimwithawakenedinterest。Itwasobviousthathesufferedfromadistresswhichwasnottheeffectoffear;andMrs。 Travers’faceexpressedrealconcerntillheaddedinafreezingmanner:\"Thequestion,however,isastoyourdiscretion。\" Sheleanedbackagaininthechairandletherhandsrestquietlyinherlap。\"Wouldyouhavepreferredmetoremainoutside,intheyacht,inthenearneighbourhoodofthesewildmenwhocapturedyou?Ordoyouthinkthatthey,too,weregotuptocarryonafarce?\" \"Mostdecidedly。\"Mr。Traversraisedhishead,thoughofcoursenothisvoice。\"Yououghttohaveremainedintheyachtamongstwhitemen,yourservants,thesailing—master,thecrewwhosedutyitwasto……Whowouldhavebeenreadytodieforyou。\" \"Iwonderwhytheyshouldhave——andwhyIshouldhaveaskedthemforthatsacrifice。However,Ihavenodoubttheywouldhavedied。Orwouldyouhavepreferredmetotakeupmyquartersonboardthatman’sbrig?Wewereallfairlysafethere。TherealreasonwhyIinsistedoncominginherewastobenearertoyou——toseeformyselfwhatcouldbeorwasbeingdone……ButreallyifyouwantmetoexplainmymotivesthenImayjustaswellsaynothing。Icouldn’tremainoutsidefordayswithoutnews,inastateofhorribledoubt。Wecouldn’teventellwhetheryouandd’Alcacerwerestillalivetillwearrivedhere。Youmighthavebeenactuallymurderedonthesandbank,afterRajahHassimandthatgirlhadgoneaway;orkilledwhilegoinguptheriver。AndIwantedtoknowatonce,assoonaspossible。Itwasamatterofimpulse。IwentoffinwhatIstoodinwithoutdelayingamoment。\" \"Yes,\"saidMr。Travers。\"Andwithouteventhinkingofhavingafewthingsputupformeinabag。Nodoubtyouwereinastateofexcitement。Unlessyoutooksuchatragicviewthatitseemedtoyouhardlyworthwhiletobotheraboutmyclothes。\" \"Itwasabsolutelytheimpulseofthemoment。Icouldhavedonenothingelse。Won’tyougivemecreditforit?\" Mr。Traversraisedhiseyesagaintohiswife’sface。Hesawitcalm,herattitudereposeful。Tillthenhistonehadbeenresentful,dull,withoutsarcasm。Butnowhebecameslightlypompous。 \"No。Asamatteroffact,asamatterofexperience,Ican’tcredityouwiththepossessionoffeelingsappropriatetoyourorigin,socialposition,andtheideasoftheclasstowhichyoubelong。Itwastheheaviestdisappointmentofmylife。IhadmadeupmymindnottomentionitaslongasIlived。This,however,seemsanoccasionwhichyouhaveprovokedyourself。Itisn’tatallasolemnoccasion。Idon’tlookuponitassolemnatall。 It’sverydisagreeableandhumiliating。Butithaspresenteditself。Youhavenevertakenaseriousinterestintheactivitiesofmylifewhichofcourseareitsdistinctionanditsvalue。AndwhyyoushouldbecarriedawaysuddenlybyafeelingtowardthemeremanIdon’tunderstand。\" \"Thereforeyoudon’tapprove,\"Mrs。Traverscommentedinaneventone。\"ButIassureyou,youmaysafely。Myfeelingwasofthemostconventionalnature,exactlyasifthewholeworldwerelookingon。Afterall,wearehusbandandwife。It’seminentlyfittingthatIshouldbeconcernedaboutyourfate。Eventhemanyoudistrustanddislikesomuch(thewarmestfeeling,letmetellyou,thatIeversawyoudisplay)eventhatmanfoundmyconductperfectlyproper。Hisownword。Proper。Soeminentlyproperthatitaltogethersilencedhisobjections。\" Mr。Traversshifteduneasilyonhisseat。 \"It’smybelief,Edith,thatifyouhadbeenamanyouwouldhaveledamostirregularlife。Youwouldhavebeenafrankadventurer。Imeanmorally。Ithasbeenagreatgrieftome。Youhaveascorninyoufortheserioussideoflife,fortheideasandtheambitionsofthesocialspheretowhichyoubelong。\" Hestoppedbecausehiswifehadclaspedagainherhandsbehindherheadandwasnolongerlookingathim。 \"It’sperfectlyobvious,\"hebeganagain。\"Wehavebeenlivingamongstmostdistinguishedmenandwomenandyourattitudetothemhasbeenalwaysso——sonegative!Youwouldneverrecognizetheimportanceofachievements,ofacquiredpositions。Idon’trememberyoueveradmiringfranklyanypoliticalorsocialsuccess。Iaskmyselfwhatafterallyoucouldpossiblyhaveexpectedfromlife。\"