第20章

类别:其他 作者:Edith Wharton字数:10207更新时间:19/01/07 14:28:10
AllthroughthesemeditationsrantheundercurrentofanabsolutetrustinSophyViner。Shethoughtofthegirlwithaminglingofantipathyandconfidence。Itwashumiliatingtoherpridetorecognizekindredimpulsesinacharacterwhichshewouldhavelikedtofeelcompletelyalientoher。 Butwhatindeedwasthegirlreallylike?Sheseemedtohavenoscruplesandathousanddelicacies。ShehadgivenherselftoDarrow,andconcealedtheepisodefromOwenLeath,withnomoreapparentsenseofdebasementthanthevulgarestofadventuresses;yetshehadinstantlyobeyedthevoiceofherheartwhenitbadeherpartfromtheoneandservetheother。 Annatriedtopicturewhatthegirl’slifemusthavebeen: whatexperiences,whatinitiations,hadformedher。Butherowntraininghadbeentoodifferent:therewereveilsshecouldnotlift。Shelookedbackathermarriedlife,anditscolourlessuniformitytookonanairofhighrestraintandorder。Wasitbecauseshehadbeensoincuriousthatithadwornthatlooktoher?Itstruckherwithamazementthatshehadnevergivenathoughttoherhusband’spast,orwonderedwhathedidandwherehewentwhenhewasawayfromher。Ifshehadbeenaskedwhatshesupposedhethoughtaboutwhentheywereapart,shewouldinstantlyhaveanswered:hissnuff—boxes。Ithadneveroccurredtoherthathemighthavepassions,interests,preoccupationsofwhichshewasabsolutelyignorant。YethewentuptoParisratherregularly:ostensiblytoattendsalesandexhibitions,ortoconferwithdealersandcollectors。Shetriedtopicturehim,straight,trim,beautifullybrushedandvarnished,walkingfurtivelydownaquietstreet,andlookingabouthimbeforeheslippedintoadoorway。Sheunderstoodnowthatshehadbeencoldtohim:whatmorelikelythanthathehadsoughtcompensations?Allmenwerelikethat,shesupposed——nodoubthersimplicityhadamusedhim。 IntheactoftransposingFraserLeathintoaDonJuanshewaspulledupbytheironicperceptionthatshewassimplytryingtojustifyDarrow。Shewantedtothinkthatallmenwere\"likethat\"becauseDarrowwas\"likethat\":shewantedtojustifyheracceptanceofthefactbypersuadingherselfthatonlythroughsuchconcessionscouldwomenlikeherselfhopetokeepwhattheycouldnotgiveup。Andsuddenlyshewasfilledwithangeratherblindness,andthenatherdisastrousattempttosee。WhyhadsheforcedthetruthoutofDarrow?Ifonlyshehadheldhertonguenothingneedeverhavebeenknown。SophyVinerwouldhavebrokenherengagement,Owenwouldhavebeensentaroundtheworld,andherowndreamwouldhavebeenunshattered。Butshehadprobed,insisted,cross—examined,notrestedtillshehaddraggedthesecrettothelight。Shewasoneofthelucklesswomenwhoalwayshavethewrongaudacities,andwhoalwaysknowit…… Wasitshe,AnnaLeath,whowaspicturingherselftoherselfinthatway?Sherecoiledfromherthoughtsasifwithasenseofdemoniacpossession,andthereflashedthroughherthelongingtoreturntoheroldstateoffearlessignorance。IfatthatmomentshecouldhavekeptDarrowfromfollowinghertoGivreshewouldhavedoneso…… Buthecame;andwiththesightofhimtheturmoilfellandshefeltherselfreassured,rehabilitated。Hearrivedtowarddusk,andshemotoredtoFrancheuiltomeethim。Shewantedtoseehimassoonaspossible,forshehaddivined,throughthenewinsightthatwasinher,thatonlyhispresencecouldrestorehertoanormalviewofthings。Inthemotor,astheyleftthetownandturnedintothehigh— road,heliftedherhandandkissedit,andsheleanedagainsthim,andfeltthecurrentsflowbetweenthem。Shewasgratefultohimfornotsayinganything,andfornotexpectinghertospeak。Shesaidtoherself:\"Henevermakesamistake——healwaysknowswhattodo\";andthenshethoughtwithastartthatitwasdoubtlessbecausehehadsooftenbeeninsuchsituations。Theideathathistactwasakindofprofessionalexpertnessfilledherwithrepugnance,andinsensiblyshedrewawayfromhim。Hemadenomotiontobringhernearer,andsheinstantlythoughtthatthatwascalculatedtoo。Shesatbesidehiminfrozenmisery,wonderingwhether,henceforth,shewouldmeasureinthiswayhiseverylookandgesture。Neitherofthemspokeagaintillthemotorturnedunderthedarkarchoftheavenue,andtheysawthelightsofGivretwinklingatitsend。ThenDarrowlaidhishandonhersandsaid:\"Iknow,dear——\"andthehardnessinhermelted。\"He’ssufferingasIam,\"shethought;andforamomentthebalefulfactbetweenthemseemedtodrawthemcloserinsteadofwallingthemupintheirseparatewretchedness。 Itwaswonderfultobeoncemorere—enteringthedoorsofGivrewithhim,andastheoldhousereceivedthemintoitsmellowsilenceshehadagainthesenseofpassingoutofadreadfuldreamintothereassuranceofkindlyandfamiliarthings。Itdidnotseempossiblethatthesequietrooms,sofulloftheslowly—distilledaccumulationsofafastidioustaste,shouldhavebeenthesceneoftragicdissensions。 Thememoryofthemseemedtobeshutoutintothenightwiththeclosingandbarringofitsdoors。 Atthetea—tableintheoak—roomtheyfoundMadamedeChantelleandEffie。Thelittlegirl,catchingsightofDarrow,raceddownthedrawing—roomstomeethim,andreturnedintriumphonhisshoulder。Annalookedatthemwithasmile。Effie,forallhergraces,wascharyofsuchfavours,andhermotherknewthatinaccordingthemtoDarrowshehadadmittedhimtothecirclewhereOwenhadhithertoruled。 Overthetea—tableDarrowgaveMadamedeChantelletheexplanationofhissuddenreturnfromEngland。OnreachingLondon,hetoldher,hehadfoundthatthesecretaryhewastohavereplacedwasdetainedtherebytheillnessofhiswife。TheAmbassador,knowingDarrow’surgentreasonsforwishingtobeinFrance,hadimmediatelyproposedhisgoingback,andawaitingatGivrethesummonstorelievehiscolleague;andhehadjumpedintothefirsttrain,withoutevenwaitingtotelegraphthenewsofhisrelease。Hespokenaturally,easily,inhisusualquietvoice,takinghisteafromEffie,helpinghimselftothetoastshehanded,andstoopingnowandthentostrokethedozingterrier。Andsuddenly,asAnnalistenedtohisexplanation,sheaskedherselfifitweretrue。 Thequestion,ofcourse,wasabsurd。Therewasnopossiblereasonwhyheshouldinventafalseaccountofhisreturn,andeveryprobabilitythattheversionhegavewastherealone。ButhehadlookedandspokeninthesamewaywhenhehadansweredherprobingquestionsaboutSophyViner,andshereflectedwithachilloffearthatshewouldneveragainknowifhewerespeakingthetruthornot。Shewassurehelovedher,andshedidnotfearhisinsincerityasmuchasherowndistrustofhim。Foramomentitseemedtoherthatthismustcorrupttheverysourceoflove;thenshesaidtoherself:\"Byandbye,whenIamaltogetherhis,weshallbesoneareachotherthattherewillbenoroomforanydoubtsbetweenus。\"Butthedoubtsweretherenow,onemomentlulledtoquiescence,thenextmoretorturinglyalert。WhenthenurseappearedtosummonEffie,thelittlegirl,afterkissinghergrandmother,entrenchedherselfonDarrow’skneewiththeimperiousdemandtobecarrieduptobed;andAnna,whileshelaughinglyprotested,saidtoherselfwithapang:\"CanIgiveherafatheraboutwhomI thinksuchthings?\" ThethoughtofEffie,andofwhatsheowedtoEffie,hadbeenthefundamentalreasonforherdelaysandhesitationswhensheandDarrowhadcometogetheragaininEngland。Herownfeelingwassoclearthatbutforthatscrupleshewouldhaveputherhandinhisatonce。Buttillshehadseenhimagainshehadneverconsideredthepossibilityofre— marriage,andwhenitsuddenlyconfrontedheritseemed,forthemoment,todisorganizethelifeshehadplannedforherselfandherchild。ShehadnotspokenofthistoDarrowbecauseitappearedtoherasubjecttobedebatedwithinherownconscience。Thequestion,then,wasnotastohisfitnesstobecometheguideandguardianofherchild;nordidshefearthatherloveforhimwoulddepriveEffieoftheleastfractionofhertenderness,sinceshedidnotthinkofloveassomethingmeasuredandexhaustiblebutasatreasureperpetuallyrenewed。WhatshequestionedwasherrighttointroduceintoherlifeanyinterestsanddutieswhichmightrobEffieofapartofhertime,orlessentheclosenessoftheirdailyintercourse。 Shehaddecidedthisquestionasitwasinevitablethatsheshould;butnowanotherwasbeforeher。Assuredly,atherage,therewasnopossiblereasonwhysheshouldcloisterherselftobringupherdaughter;buttherewaseveryreasonfornotmarryingamaninwhomherownfaithwasnotcomplete…… XXXIV Whenshewokethenextmorningshefeltagreatlightnessofheart。SherecalledherlastawakeningatGivre,threedaysbefore,whenithadseemedasthoughallherlifehadgonedownindarkness。NowDarrowwasoncemoreunderthesameroofwithher,andoncemorehisnearnesssufficedtomaketheloominghorrordropaway。Shecouldalmosthavesmiledatherscruplesofthenightbefore:asshelookedbackonthemtheyseemedtobelongtotheoldignoranttimoroustimewhenshehadfearedtolooklifeintheface,andhadbeenblindtothemysteriesandcontradictionsofthehumanheartbecauseherownhadnotbeenrevealedtoher。Darrowhadsaid:\"Youweremadetofeeleverything\";andtofeelwassurelybetterthantojudge。 Whenshecamedownstairshewasalreadyintheoak—roomwithEffieandMadamedeChantelle,andthesenseofreassurancewhichhispresencegaveherwasmergedinthereliefofnotbeingabletospeakofwhatwasbetweenthem。Butthereitwas,inevitably,andwhenevertheylookedateachothertheysawit。Inherdreadofgivingitamoretangibleshapeshetriedtodevisemeansofkeepingthelittlegirlwithher,and,whenthelatterhadbeencalledawaybythenurse,foundanexcuseforfollowingMadamedeChantelleupstairstothepurplesitting—room。ButaconfidentialtalkwithMadamedeChantelleimpliedthedetaileddiscussionofplansofwhichAnnacouldhardlyyetbeartoconsiderthevaguestoutline:thedateofhermarriage,therelativeadvantagesofsailingfromLondonorLisbon,thepossibilityofhiringahabitablehouseattheirnewpost;and,whentheseproblemswereexhausted,theapplicationofthesamemethodtothesubjectofOwen’sfuture。 Hisgrandmother,havingnosuspicionoftherealreasonofSophyViner’sdeparture,hadthoughtit\"extremelysuitable\" oftheyounggirltowithdrawtotheshelterofheroldfriends’roofinthehourofbridalpreparation。ThismaidenlyretreathadinfactimpressedMadamedeChantellesofavourablythatshewasdisposedforthefirsttimetotalkoverOwen’sprojects;andaseveryhumaneventtranslateditselfforherintotermsofsocialanddomesticdetail,Annahadperforcetotravelthesameroundagain。 ShefeltamomentaryreliefwhenDarrowpresentlyjoinedthem;buthiscomingservedonlytodrawtheconversationbacktothequestionoftheirownfuture,andAnnafeltanewpangassheheardhimcalmlyandlucidlydiscussingit。 Didsuchself—possessionimplyindifferenceorinsincerity? Inthatproblemhermindperpetuallyrevolved;andshedreadedtheoneanswerasmuchastheother。 Shewasresolvedtokeeponhercourseasthoughnothinghadhappened:tomarryDarrowandneverlettheconsciousnessofthepastintrudeitselfbetweenthem;butshewasbeginningtofeelthattheonlywayofattainingtothisstateofdetachmentfromtheirreparablewasonceforalltoturnbackwithhimtoitscontemplation。AssoonasthisdesirehadgerminateditbecamesostronginherthatsheregrettedhavingpromisedEffietotakeheroutfortheafternoon。 Butshecouldthinkofnopretextfordisappointingthelittlegirl,andsoonafterluncheonthethreesetforthinthemotortoshowDarrowachateaufamousintheannalsoftheregion。DuringtheirexcursionAnnafounditimpossibletoguessfromhisdemeanourifEffie’spresencebetweenthemwasasmuchofastraintohiscomposureastohers。Heremainedimperturbablygood—humouredandappreciativewhiletheywenttheroundofthemonument,andsheremarkedonlythatwhenhethoughthimselfunnoticedhisfacegrewgraveandhisanswerscamelesspromptly。 Onthewayback,twoorthreemilesfromGivre,shesuddenlyproposedthattheyshouldwalkhomethroughtheforestwhichskirtedthatsideofthepark。Darrowacquiesced,andtheygotoutandsentEffieoninthemotor。TheirwayledthroughabitofsoberFrenchwoodland,flatasafadedtapestry,butwithgleamsofliveemeraldlingeringhereandthereamongitsbrownsandochres。Theluminousgreyairgavevividnesstoitsdyingcolours,andveiledthedistantglimpsesofthelandscapeinsoftuncertainty。InsuchasolitudeAnnahadfancieditwouldbeeasiertospeak;butasshewalkedbesideDarrowoverthedeepsoundlessflooringofbrownmossthewordsonherlipstookflightagain。Itseemedimpossibletobreakthespellofquietjoywhichhispresencelaidonher,andwhenhebegantotalkoftheplacetheyhadjustvisitedsheansweredhisquestionsandthenwaitedforwhatheshouldsaynext……No,decidedlyshecouldnotspeak;shenolongerevenknewwhatshehadmeanttosay…… Thesameexperiencerepeateditselfseveraltimesthatdayandthenext。WhensheandDarrowwereapartsheexhaustedherselfinappealandinterrogation,sheformulatedwithaferventlucidityeverypointinherimaginaryargument。Butassoonasshewasalonewithhimsomethingdeeperthanreasonandsubtlerthanshynesslaiditsbenumbingtouchuponher,andthedesiretospeakbecamemerelyadimdisquietude,throughwhichhislooks,hiswords,histouch,reachedherasthroughamistofbodilypain。Yetthisinertiawastornbywildflashesofresistance,andwhentheywereapartshebegantoprepareagainwhatshemeanttosaytohim。 Sheknewhecouldnotbewithherwithoutbeingawareofthisinnerturmoil,andshehopedhewouldbreakthespellbysomereleasingword。Butshepresentlyunderstoodthatherecognizedthefutilityofwords,andwasresolutelybentonholdinghertoherownpurposeofbehavingasifnothinghadhappened。Oncemoresheinwardlyaccusedhimofinsensibility,andherimaginationwasbesetbytormentingvisionsofhispast……Hadsuchthingshappenedtohimbefore?Iftheepisodehadbeenanisolatedaccident——\"amomentoffollyandmadness\",ashehadcalledit——shecouldunderstand,oratleastbegintounderstand(foratacertainpointherimaginationalwaysturnedback);butifitwereamerelinkinachainofsimilarexperiments,thethoughtofitdishonouredherwholepast…… Effie,intheinterregnumbetweengovernesses,hadbeengivenleavetodinedownstairs;andAnna,ontheeveningofDarrow’sreturn,keptthelittlegirlwithhertilllongafterthenursehadsignalledfromthedrawing—roomdoor。 Whenatlengthshehadbeencarriedoff,Annaproposedagameofcards,andafterthisdiversionhaddrawntoitslanguidcloseshesaidgood—nighttoDarrowandfollowedMadamedeChantelleupstairs。ButMadamedeChantelleneversatuplate,andthesecondevening,withtheamiablyimpliedintentionofleavingAnnaandDarrowtothemselves,shetookanearlierleaveofthemthanusual。 Annasatsilent,listeningtohersmallstiffstepsastheyminceddownthehallanddiedoutinthedistance。MadamedeChantellehadbrokenherwoodenembroideryframe,andDarrow,havingofferedtorepairit,haddrawnhischairuptoatablethatheldalamp。Annawatchedhimashesatwithbentheadandknittedbrows,tryingtofittogetherthedisjoinedpieces。Thesightofhim,sotranquillyabsorbedinthistriflingbusiness,seemedtogivetothequietroomaperfumeofintimacy,tofillitwithasenseofsweetfamiliarhabit;anditcameoverheragainthatsheknewnothingoftheinnerthoughtsofthismanwhowassittingbyherasahusbandmight。Thelamplightfellonhiswhiteforehead,onthehealthybrownofhischeek,thebacksofhisthinsunburnthands。Asshewatchedthehandshersenseofthembecameasvividasatouch,andshesaidtoherself: \"ThatotherwomanhassatandwatchedhimasIamdoing。 ShehasknownhimasIhaveneverknownhim……Perhapsheisthinkingofthatnow。OrperhapshehasforgottenitallascompletelyasIhaveforgotteneverythingthathappenedtomebeforehecame……\" Helookedyoung,active,storedwithstrengthandenergy; notthemanforvainrepiningsorlongmemories。Shewonderedwhatshehadtoholdorsatisfyhim。Helovedhernow;shehadnodoubtofthat;buthowcouldshehopetokeephim?Theyweresonearlyofanagethatalreadyshefeltherselfhissenior。Asyetthedifferencewasnotvisible;outwardlyatleasttheywerematched;butill— healthorunhappinesswouldsoondoawaywiththisequality。 Shethoughtwithapangofbitterness:\"Hewon’tgrowanyolderbecausehedoesn’tfeelthings;andbecausehedoesn’t,ISHALL……\" Andwhensheceasedtopleasehim,whatthen?Hadhethetraditionoffaithtothespokenvow,orthedeeperpietyoftheunspokendedication?Whatwashistheory,whathisinnerconvictioninsuchmatters?Butwhatdidshecareforhisconvictionsorhistheories?Nodoubthelovedhernow,andbelievedhewouldalwaysgoonlovingher,andwaspersuadedthat,ifheceasedto,hisloyaltywouldbeproofagainstthechange。Whatshewantedtoknowwasnotwhathethoughtaboutitinadvance,butwhatwouldimpelorrestrainhimatthecrucialhour。Sheputnofaithinherownarts:shewastoosureofhavingnone!Andifsomebeneficentenchanterhadbestowedthemonher,sheknewnowthatshewouldhaverejectedthegift。Shecouldhardlyconceiveofwantingthekindoflovethatwasastateonecouldbecozenedinto…… Darrow,puttingawaytheframe,walkedacrosstheroomandsatdownbesideher;andshefelthehadsomethingspecialtosay。 \"They’resuretosendformeinadayortwonow,\"hebegan。 Shemadenoanswer,andhecontinued:\"You’lltellmebeforeIgowhatdayI’mtocomebackandgetyou?\" ItwasthefirsttimesincehisreturntoGivrethathehadmadeanydirectallusiontothedateoftheirmarriage;andinsteadofansweringhimshebrokeout:\"There’ssomethingI’vebeenwantingyoutoknow。TheotherdayinParisIsawMissViner。\" Shesawhimflushwiththeintensityofhissurprise。 \"Yousentforher?\" \"No;sheheardfromAdelaidethatIwasinParisandshecame。Shecamebecauseshewantedtourgemetomarryyou。 Ithoughtyououghttoknowwhatshehaddone。\" Darrowstoodup。\"I’mgladyou’vetoldme。\"Hespokewithavisibleeffortatcomposure。Hereyesfollowedhimashemovedaway。 \"Isthatall?\"heaskedafteraninterval。 \"Itseemstomeagreatdeal。\" \"It’swhatshe’dalreadyaskedme。\"Hisvoiceshowedherhowdeeplyhewasmoved,andathrobofjealousyshotthroughher。 \"Oh,itwasforyoursake,Iknow!\"Hemadenoanswer,andsheadded:\"She’sbeenexceedinglygenerous……Whyshouldn’twespeakofit?\" Shehadloweredherhead,butthroughherdroppedlidssheseemedtobewatchingthecrowdedsceneofhisface。 \"I’venotshrunkfromspeakingofit。\" \"Speakingofher,then,Imean。ItseemstomethatifI couldtalktoyouaboutherIshouldknowbetter————\" Shebrokeoff,confused,andhequestioned:\"Whatisityouwanttoknowbetter?\" Thecolourrosetoherforehead。Howcouldshetellhimwhatshescarcelydaredowntoherself?Therewasnothingshedidnotwanttoknow,nofoldorcrannyofhissecretthatherawakenedimaginationdidnotstraintopenetrate; butshecouldnotexposeSophyVinertothebasefingeringsofaretrospectivejealousy,norDarrowtothetemptationofbelittlingherintheefforttobetterhisowncase。Thegirlhadbeenmagnificent,andtheonlyworthyreturnthatAnnacouldmakewastotakeDarrowfromherwithoutaquestionifshetookhimatall…… Sheliftedhereyestohisface。\"IthinkIonlywantedtospeakhername。It’snotrightthatweshouldseemsoafraidofit。IfIwerereallyafraidofitIshouldhavetogiveyouup,\"shesaid。 Hebentoverherandcaughthertohim。\"Ah,youcan’tgivemeupnow!\"heexclaimed。 Shesufferedhimtoholdherfastwithoutspeaking;buttheolddreadwasbetweenthemagain,anditwasonherlipstocryout:\"HowcanIhelpit,whenIAMsoafraid?\" XXXV Thenextmorningthedreadwasstillthere,andsheunderstoodthatshemustsnatchherselfoutofthetorporofthewillintowhichshehadbeengraduallysinking,andtellDarrowthatshecouldnotbehiswife。 Theknowledgecametoherinthewatchesofasleeplessnight,when,throughthetearsofdisenchantedpassion,shestaredbackuponherpast。Thereitlaybeforeher,hersoleromance,inallitspaltrypoverty,thecheapestofcheapadventures,themostpitifulofsentimentalblunders。 Shelookedaboutherroom,theroomwhere,forsomanyyears,ifherhearthadbeenquiescentherthoughtshadbeenalive,andpicturedherselfhenceforthcoweringbeforeathrongofmeansuspicions,ofunavowedcompromisesandconcessions。Inthatmomentofself—searchingshesawthatSophyVinerhadchosenthebetterpart,andthatcertainrenunciationsmightenrichwherepossessionwouldhaveleftadesert。 Passionatereactionsofinstinctfoughtagainsttheseeffortsofherwill。Whyshouldpastorfuturecoerceher,whenthepresentwassosecurelyhers?Whyinsanelysurrenderwhattheotherwouldafterallneverhave?HersenseofironywhisperedthatifshesentawayDarrowitwouldnotbetoSophyViner,buttothefirstwomanwhocrossedhispath——as,inasimilarhour,SophyVinerherselfhadcrossedit……Butthemerefactthatshecouldthinksuchthingsofhimsenthershudderingbacktotheoppositepole。 Shepicturedherselfgraduallysubduedtosuchaconceptionoflifeandlove,shepicturedEffiegrowingupundertheinfluenceofthewomanshesawherselfbecoming——andshehidhereyesfromthehumiliationofthepicture…… TheywereatluncheonwhenthesummonsthatDarrowexpectedwasbroughttohim。HehandedthetelegramtoAnna,andshelearnedthathisAmbassador,onthewaytoaGermancure,wastobeinParisthenexteveningandwishedtoconferwithhimtherebeforehewentbacktoLondon。Theideathatthedecisivemomentwasathandwassoagitatingtoherthatwhenluncheonwasoversheslippedawaytotheterraceandthencewentdownalonetothegarden。Thedaywasgreybutmild,withtheheavinessofdecayintheair。Sherambledonaimlessly,followingunderthedenudedboughsthepathsheandDarrowhadtakenontheirfirstwalktotheriver。 Shewassurehewouldnottrytoovertakeher:surehewouldguesswhyshewishedtobealone。Thereweremomentswhenitseemedtodoubleherlonelinesstobesocertainofhisreadingherheartwhileshewassodesperatelyignorantofhis…… Shewanderedonformorethananhour,andwhenshereturnedtothehouseshesaw,assheenteredthehall,thatDarrowwasseatedatthedeskinOwen’sstudy。Heheardherstep,andlookingupturnedinhischairwithoutrising。Theireyesmet,andshesawthathiswereclearandsmiling。Hehadaheapofpapersathiselbowandwasevidentlyengagedinsomeofficialcorrespondence。Shewonderedthathecouldaddresshimselfsocomposedlytohistask,andthenironicallyreflectedthatsuchdetachmentwasasignofhissuperiority。Shecrossedthethresholdandwenttowardhim; butassheadvancedshehadasuddenvisionofOwen,standingoutsideinthecoldautumnduskandwatchingDarrowandSophyVinerastheyfacedeachotheracrossthelamplitdesk……Theevocationwassovividthatitcaughtherbreathlikeablow,andshesankdownhelplesslyonthedivanamongthepiled—upbooks。Distinctly,atthemoment,sheunderstoodthattheendhadcome。\"WhenhespeakstomeI willtellhim!\"shethought