第3章

类别:其他 作者:Joseph Conrad字数:21578更新时间:19/01/07 08:53:10
Buthe’sjustthesortofmanwho’scapableofcarryingyouofffarawaysomewhereandthencuttingyourthroatsomedayforyourmoney。\" Therewasagoodhalfofthelengthoftheverandahbetweentheirchairs。Icameoutandsatdownfiercelymidwaybetweenthem。 \"Yes,that’swhatwedowithgirlsinEurope,\"Ibeganinagrimlymatter—of—facttone。IthinkMissJacobuswasdisconcertedbymysuddenappearance。Iturneduponherwithcoldferocity: \"Astoobjectionableoldwomen,theyarefirststrangledquietly,thencutupintosmallpiecesandthrownaway,abithereandabitthere。Theyvanish—\" IcannotgosofarastosayIhadterrifiedher。Butshewastroubledbymytruculence,themoresobecauseIhadbeenalwaysaddressingherwithapolitenessshedidnotdeserve。Herplump,knittinghandsfellslowlyonherknees。ShesaidnotawordwhileIfixedherwithseveredetermination。ThenasIturnedawayfromheratlast,shelaiddownherworkgentlyand,withnoiselessmovements,retreatedfromtheverandah。Infact,shevanished。 ButIwasnotthinkingofher。Iwaslookingatthegirl。ItwaswhatIwascomingfordaily;troubled,ashamed,eager;findinginmynearnesstoherauniquesensationwhichIindulgedwithdread,self—contempt,anddeeppleasure,asifitwereasecretviceboundtoendinmyundoing,likethehabitofsomedrugorotherwhichruinsanddegradesitsslave。 Ilookedherover,fromthetopofherdishevelledhead,downthelovelylineoftheshoulder,followingthecurveofthehip,thedrapedformofthelonglimb,rightdowntoherfineanklebelowatorn,soiledflounce;andasfarasthepointoftheshabby,high— heeled,blueslipper,danglingfromherwell—shapedfoot,whichshemovedslightly,withquick,nervousjerks,asifimpatientofmypresence。AndinthescentofthemassedflowersIseemedtobreatheherspecialandinexplicablecharm,theheadyperfumeoftheeverlastinglyirritatedcaptiveofthegarden。 Ilookedatherroundedchin,theJacobuschin;atthefull,redlipspoutinginthepowdered,sallowface;atthefirmmodellingofthecheek,thegrainsofwhiteinthehairsofthestraightsombreeyebrows;atthelongeyes,anarrowedgleamofliquidwhiteandintensemotionlessblack,withtheirgazesoemptyofthought,andsoabsorbedintheirfixitythatsheseemedtobestaringatherownlonelyimage,insomefar—offmirrorhiddenfrommysightamongstthetrees。 Andsuddenly,withoutlookingatme,withtheappearanceofapersonspeakingtoherself,sheasked,inthatvoiceslightlyharshyetmellowandalwaysirritated: \"Whydoyoukeeponcominghere?\" \"WhydoIkeeponcominghere?\"Irepeated,takenbysurprise。I couldnothavetoldher。IcouldnoteventellmyselfwithsinceritywhyIwascomingthere。\"What’sthegoodofyouaskingaquestionlikethat?\" \"Nothingisanygood,\"sheobservedscornfullytotheemptyair,herchinproppedonherhand,thathandneverextendedtoanyman,thatnoonehadevergrasped—forIhadonlygraspedhershoulderonce—thatgenerous,fine,somewhatmasculinehand。Iknewwellthepeculiarlyefficientshape—broadatthebase,taperingatthefingers—ofthathand,forwhichtherewasnothingintheworldtolayholdof。Ipretendedtobeplayful。 \"No!Butdoyoureallycaretoknow?\" Sheshruggedindolentlyhermagnificentshoulders,fromwhichthedingythinwrapperwasslippingalittle。 \"Oh—nevermind—nevermind!\" Therewassomethingsmoulderingunderthoseairsoflassitude。Sheexasperatedmebytheprovocationofhernonchalance,bysomethingelusiveanddefiantinherveryformwhichIwantedtoseize。I saidroughly: \"Why?Don’tyouthinkIshouldtellyouthetruth?\" Hereyesglidedmywayforasidelonglook,andshemurmured,movingonlyherfull,poutinglips: \"Ithinkyouwouldnotdare。\" \"DoyouimagineIamafraidofyou?Whatonearth……Well,it’spossible,afterall,thatIdon’tknowexactlywhyIamcominghere。Letussay,withMissJacobus,thatitisfornogood。Youseemtobelievetheoutrageousthingsshesays,ifyoudohavearowwithhernowandthen。\" Shesnappedoutviciously: \"WhoelseamItobelieve? \"Idon’tknow,\"Ihadtoown,seeinghersuddenlyveryhelplessandcondemnedtomoralsolitudebytheverdictofarespectablecommunity。\"Youmightbelieveme,ifyouchose。\" Shemadeaslightmovementandaskedmeatonce,withaneffortasifmakinganexperiment: \"Whatisthebusinessbetweenyouandpapa?\" \"Don’tyouknowthenatureofyourfather’sbusiness?Come!Hesellsprovisionstoships。\" Shebecamerigidagaininhercrouchingpose。 \"Notthat。Whatbringsyouhere—tothishouse?\" \"Andsupposeit’syou?Youwouldnotcallthatbusiness?Wouldyou?Andnowletusdropthesubject。It’snouse。Myshipwillbereadyforseathedayafterto—morrow。\" Shemurmuredadistinctlyscared\"Sosoon,\"andgettingupquickly,wenttothelittletableandpouredherselfaglassofwater。Shewalkedwithrapidstepsandwithanindolentswayingofherwholeyoungfigureabovethehips;whenshepassednearmeIfeltwithtenfoldforcethecharmofthepeculiar,promisingsensationIhadformedthehabittoseeknearher。Ithoughtwithsuddendismaythatthiswastheendofit;thatafteronemoredayIwouldbenolongerabletocomeintothisverandah,sitonthischair,andtasteperverselytheflavourofcontemptinherindolentposes,drinkintheprovocationofherscornfullooks,andlistentothecurt,insolentremarksutteredinthatharshandseductivevoice。 Asifmyinnermostnaturehadbeenalteredbytheactionofsomemoralpoison,Ifeltanabjectdreadofgoingtosea。 Ihadtoexerciseasuddenself—control,asoneputsonabrake,topreventmyselfjumpinguptostrideabout,shout,gesticulate,makeherascene。Whatfor?Whatabout?Ihadnoidea。ItwasjustthereliefofviolencethatIwanted;andIlolledbackinmychair,tryingtokeepmylipsformedinasmile;thathalf— indulgent,half—mockingsmilewhichwasmyshieldagainsttheshaftsofhercontemptandtheinsultingsalliesflungatmebytheoldwoman。 Shedrankthewateratadraught,withtheavidityofragingthirst,andletherselffallonthenearestchair,asifutterlyovercome。Herattitude,likecertaintonesofhervoice,hadinitsomethingmasculine:thekneesapartintheamplewrapper,theclaspedhandshangingbetweenthem,herbodyleaningforward,withdroopinghead。Istaredattheheavyblackcoiloftwistedhair。 Itwasenormous,crowningthebowedheadwithacrushinganddisdainedglory。Theescapedwispshungstraightdown。AndsuddenlyIperceivedthatthegirlwastremblingfromheadtofoot,asthoughthatglassoficedwaterhadchilledhertothebone。 \"What’sthematternow?\"Isaid,startled,butinnoverysympatheticmood。 Sheshookherbowed,overweightedheadandcriedinastifledvoicebutwitharisinginflection: \"Goaway!Goaway!Goaway!\" Igotupthenandapproachedher,withastrangesortofanxiety。 Ilookeddownatherround,strongneck,thenstoopedlowenoughtopeepatherface。AndIbegantotremblealittlemyself。 \"Whatonearthareyougonewildabout,MissDon’tCare?\" Sheflungherselfbackwardsviolently,herheadgoingoverthebackofthechair。Andnowitwashersmooth,full,palpitatingthroatthatlayexposedtomybewilderedstare。Hereyeswerenearlyclosed,withonlyahorriblewhitegleamunderthelidsasifsheweredead。 \"Whathascometoyou?\"Iaskedinawe。\"Whatareyouterrifyingyourselfwith?\" Shepulledherselftogether,hereyesopenfrightfullywidenow。 Thetropicalafternoonwaslengtheningtheshadowsonthehot,wearyearth,theabodeofobscuredesires,ofextravaganthopes,ofunimaginableterrors。 \"Nevermind!Don’tcare!\"Then,afteragasp,shespokewithsuchfrightfulrapiditythatIcouldhardlymakeouttheamazingwords: \"Forifyouweretoshutmeupinanemptyplaceassmoothallroundasthepalmofmyhand,Icouldalwaysstranglemyselfwithmyhair。\" Foramoment,doubtingmyears,Iletthisinconceivabledeclarationsinkintome。Itiseverimpossibletoguessatthewildthoughtsthatpassthroughtheheadsofourfellow—creatures。 Whatmonstrousimaginingsofviolencecouldhavedweltunderthelowforeheadofthatgirlwhohadbeentaughttoregardherfatheras\"capableofanything\"moreinthelightofamisfortunethanthatofadisgrace;as,evidently,somethingtoberesentedandfearedratherthantobeashamedof?Sheseemed,indeed,asunawareofshameasofanythingelseintheworld;butinherignorance,herresentmentandfeartookachildishandviolentshape。 Ofcourseshespokewithoutknowingthevalueofwords。Whatcouldsheknowofdeath—shewhoknewnothingoflife?Itwasmerelyastheproofofherbeingbesideherselfwithsomeodiousapprehension,thatthisextraordinaryspeechhadmovedme,nottopity,buttoafascinated,horrifiedwonder。Ihadnoideawhatnotionshehadofherdanger。Somesortofabduction。Itwasquitepossiblewiththetalkofthatatrociousoldwoman。Perhapsshethoughtshecouldbecarriedoff,boundhandandfootandevengagged。AtthatsurmiseIfeltasifthedoorofafurnacehadbeenopenedinfrontofme。 \"Uponmyhonour!\"Icried。\"Youshallendbygoingcrazyifyoulistentothatabominableoldauntofyours—\" Istudiedherhaggardexpression,hertremblinglips。Hercheeksevenseemedsunkalittle。ButhowI,theassociateofherdisreputablefather,the\"lowestofthelow\"fromthecriminalEurope,couldmanagetoreassureherIhadnoconception。Shewasexasperating。 \"Heavensandearth!WhatdoyouthinkIcando?\" \"Idon’tknow。\" Herchincertainlytrembled。Andshewaslookingatmewithextremeattention。Imadeastepnearertoherchair。 \"Ishalldonothing。Ipromiseyouthat。Willthatdo?Doyouunderstand?Ishalldonothingwhatever,ofanykind;andthedayafterto—morrowIshallbegone。\" WhatelsecouldIhavesaid?Sheseemedtodrinkinmywordswiththethirstyaviditywithwhichshehademptiedtheglassofwater。 Shewhisperedtremulously,inthattouchingtoneIhadheardoncebeforeonherlips,andwhichthrilledmeagainwiththesameemotion: \"Iwouldbelieveyou。Butwhataboutpapa—\" \"Hebehanged!\"Myemotionbetrayeditselfbythebrutalityofmytone。\"I’vehadenoughofyourpapa。AreyousostupidastoimaginethatIamfrightenedofhim?Hecan’tmakemedoanything。\" Allthatsoundedfeebletomeinthefaceofherignorance。ButI mustconcludethatthe\"accentofsincerity\"has,assomepeoplesay,areallyirresistiblepower。Theeffectwasfarbeyondmyhopes,—andevenbeyondmyconception。Towatchthechangeinthegirlwaslikewatchingamiracle—thegradualbutswiftrelaxationofhertenseglance,ofherstiffenedmuscles,ofeveryfibreofherbody。Thatblack,fixedstareintowhichIhadreadatragicmeaningmorethanonce,inwhichIhadfoundasombreseduction,wasperfectlyemptynow,voidofallconsciousnesswhatever,andnotevenawareanylongerofmypresence;ithadbecomealittlesleepy,intheJacobusfashion。 But,manbeingaperverseanimal,insteadofrejoicingatmycompletesuccess,Ibehelditwithastoundedandindignanteyes。 Therewassomethingcynicalinthatunconcealedalteration,thetrueJacobusshamelessness。IfeltasthoughIhadbeencheatedinsomerathercomplicateddealintowhichIhadenteredagainstmybetterjudgment。Yes,cheatedwithoutanyregardfor,atleast,theformsofdecency。 Withaneasy,indolent,andinitsindolencesupple,felinemovement,sherosefromthechair,soprovokinglyignoringmenow,thatforveryrageIheldmygroundwithinlessthanafootofher。 Leisurelyandtranquil,behavingrightbeforemewiththeeaseofapersonaloneinaroom,sheextendedherbeautifularms,withherhandsclenched,herbodyswaying,herheadthrownbackalittle,revellingcontemptuouslyinasenseofrelief,easingherlimbsinfreedomafterallthesedaysofcrouching,motionlessposeswhenshehadbeensofuriousandsoafraid。 Allthiswithsupremeindifference,incredible,offensive,exasperating,likeingratitudedoubledwithtreachery。 Ioughttohavebeenflattered,perhaps,but,onthecontrary,myangergrew;hermovementtopassbymeasifIwereawoodenpostorapieceoffurniture,thatunconcernedmovementbroughtittoahead。 Iwon’tsayIdidnotknowwhatIwasdoing,but,certainly,coolreflectionhadnothingtodowiththecircumstancethatnextmomentbothmyarmswereroundherwaist。Itwasanimpulsiveaction,asonesnatchesatsomethingfallingorescaping;andithadnohypocriticalgentlenessaboutiteither。Shehadnotimetomakeasound,andthefirstkissIplantedonherclosedlipswasviciousenoughtohavebeenabite。 Shedidnotresist,andofcourseIdidnotstopatone。Sheletmegoon,notasifshewereinanimate—Ifeltherthere,closeagainstme,young,fullofvigour,oflife,astrongdesirablecreature,butasifshedidnotcareintheleast,intheabsoluteassuranceofhersafety,whatIdidorleftundone。Ourfacesbroughtclosetogetherinthisstormofhaphazardcaresses,herbig,black,wide—openeyeslookedintominewithoutthegirlappearingeitherangryorpleasedormovedinanyway。InthatsteadygazewhichseemedimpersonallytowatchmymadnessIcoulddetectaslightsurprise,perhaps—nothingmore。Ishoweredkissesuponherfaceandtheredidnotseemtobeanyreasonwhythisshouldnotgoonforever。 Thatthoughtflashedthroughmyhead,andIwasonthepointofdesisting,when,allatonce,shebegantostrugglewithasuddenviolencewhichallbutfreedherinstantly,whichrevivedmyexasperationwithher,indeedafiercedesirenevertolethergoanymore。Itightenedmyembraceintime,gaspingout:\"No—youdon’t!\"asifsheweremymortalenemy。Onherpartnotawordwassaid。Puttingherhandsagainstmychest,shepushedwithallhermightwithoutsucceedingtobreakthecircleofmyarms。Exceptthatsheseemedthoroughlyawakenow,hereyesgavemenocluewhatever。Tomeetherblackstarewaslikelookingintoadeepwell,andIwastotallyunpreparedforherchangeoftactics。 Insteadoftryingtotearmyhandsapart,sheflungherselfuponmybreastandwithadownward,undulating,serpentinemotion,aquickslidingdive,shegotawayfrommesmoothly。Itwasallveryswift;Isawherpickupthetailofherwrapperandrunforthedoorattheendoftheverandahnotverygracefully。Sheappearedtobelimpingalittle—andthenshevanished;thedoorswungbehindhersonoiselesslythatIcouldnotbelieveitwascompletelyclosed。IhadadistinctsuspicionofherblackeyebeingatthecracktowatchwhatIwoulddo。Icouldnotmakeupmymindwhethertoshakemyfistinthatdirectionorblowakiss。 CHAPTERVI Eitherwouldhavebeenperfectlyconsistentwithmyfeelings。I gazedatthedoor,hesitating,butintheendIdidneither。Themonitionofsomesixthsense—thesenseofguilt,maybe,thatsensewhichalwaysactstoolate,alas!—warnedmetolookround; andatonceIbecameawarethattheconclusionofthistumultuousepisodewaslikelytobeamatteroflivelyanxiety。Jacobuswasstandinginthedoorwayofthedining—room。Howlonghehadbeenthereitwasimpossibletoguess;andrememberingmystrugglewiththegirlIthoughthemusthavebeenitsmutewitnessfrombeginningtoend。Butthissuppositionseemedalmostincredible。 Perhapsthatimpenetrablegirlhadheardhimcomeinandhadgotawayintime。 Hesteppedontotheverandahinhisusualmanner,heavy—eyed,withgluedlips。Imarvelledatthegirl’sresemblancetothisman。 Thoselong,Egyptianeyes,thatlowforeheadofastupidgoddess,shehadfoundinthesawdustofthecircus;butalltherestoftheface,thedesignandthemodelling,theroundedchin,theverylips—allthatwasJacobus,fineddown,morefinished,moreexpressive。 Histhickhandfellonandgraspedwithforcethebackofalightchair(therewereseveralstandingabout)andIperceivedthechanceofabrokenheadattheendofallthis—mostlikely。Mymortificationwasextreme。Thescandalwouldbehorrible;thatwasunavoidable。ButhowtoactsoastosatisfymyselfIdidnotknow。Istoodonmyguardandatanyratefacedhim。Therewasnothingelseforit。OfonethingIwascertain,that,howeverbrazenmyattitude,itcouldneverequalthecharacteristicJacobusimpudence。 Hegavemehismelancholy,gluedsmileandsatdown。IownIwasrelieved。Theperspectiveofpassingfromkissestoblowshadnothingparticularlyattractiveinit。Perhaps—perhapshehadseennothing?Hebehavedasusual,buthehadneverbeforefoundmealoneontheverandah。Ifhehadalludedtoit,ifhehadasked:\"Where’sAlice?\"orsomethingofthesort,Iwouldhavebeenabletojudgefromthetone。Hewouldgivemenoopportunity。 Thestrikingpeculiaritywasthathehadneverlookedupatmeyet。 \"Heknows,\"Isaidtomyselfconfidently。Andmycontemptforhimrelievedmydisgustwithmyself。 \"Youareearlyhome,\"Iremarked。 \"Thingsareveryquiet;nothingdoingatthestoreto—day,\"heexplainedwithacast—downair。 \"Oh,well,youknow,Iamoff,\"Isaid,feelingthatthis,perhaps,wasthebestthingtodo。 \"Yes,\"hebreathedout。\"Dayafterto—morrow。\" ThiswasnotwhatIhadmeant;butashegazedpersistentlyonthefloor,Ifollowedthedirectionofhisglance。Intheabsolutestillnessofthehousewestaredatthehigh—heeledslipperthegirlhadlostinherflight。Westared。Itlayoverturned。 Afterwhatseemedaverylongtimetome,Jacobushitchedhischairforward,stoopedwithextendedarmandpickeditup。Itlookedaslenderthinginhisbig,thickhands。Itwasnotreallyaslipper,butalowshoeofblue,glazedkid,rubbedandshabby。Ithadstrapstogoovertheinstep,butthegirlonlythrustherfeetin,afterherslovenlymanner。Jacobusraisedhiseyesfromtheshoetolookatme。 \"Sitdown,Captain,\"hesaidatlast,inhissubduedtone。 Asifthesightofthatshoehadrenewedthespell,Igaveupsuddenlytheideaofleavingthehousethereandthen。Ithadbecomeimpossible。Isatdown,keepingmyeyesonthefascinatingobject。Jacobusturnedhisdaughter’sshoeoverandoverinhiscushionedpawsasifstudyingthewaythethingwasmade。Hecontemplatedthethinsoleforatime;thenglancinginsidewithanabsorbedair: \"IamgladIfoundyouhere,Captain。\" Iansweredthisbysomesortofgrunt,watchinghimcovertly。ThenIadded:\"Youwon’thavemuchmoreofmenow。\" Hewasstilldeepintheinteriorofthatshoeonwhichmyeyestoowereresting。 \"HaveyouthoughtanymoreofthisdealinpotatoesIspoketoyouabouttheotherday?\" \"No,Ihaven’t,\"Iansweredcurtly。Hecheckedmymovementtorisebyanaustere,commandinggestureofthehandholdingthatfatalshoe。Iremainedseatedandglaredathim。\"YouknowIdon’ttrade。\" \"Yououghtto,Captain。Yououghtto。\" Ireflected。IfIleftthathousenowIwouldneverseethegirlagain。AndIfeltImustseeheroncemore,ifonlyforaninstant。Itwasaneed,nottobereasonedwith,nottobedisregarded。No,Ididnotwanttogoaway。Iwantedtostayforonemoreexperienceofthatstrangeprovokingsensationandofindefinitedesire,thehabitofwhichhadmademe—meofallpeople!—dreadtheprospectofgoingtosea。 \"Mr。Jacobus,\"Ipronouncedslowly。\"Doyoureallythinkthatuponthewholeandtakingvarious’mattersintoconsideration—Imeaneverything,doyouunderstand?—itwouldbeagoodthingformetotrade,letussay,withyou?\" Iwaitedforawhile。Hewentonlookingattheshoewhichheheldnowcrushedinthemiddle,thewornpointofthetoeandthehighheelprotrudingoneachsideofhisheavyfist。 \"Thatwillbeallright,\"hesaid,facingmesquarelyatlast。 \"Areyousure?\" \"You’llfinditquitecorrect,Captain。\"Hehadutteredhishabitualphrasesinhisusualplacid,breath—savingvoiceandstoodmyhard,inquisitivestaresleepilywithoutasmuchasawink。 \"Thenletustrade,\"Isaid,turningmyshouldertohim。\"Iseeyouarebentonit。\" Ididnotwantanopenscandal,butIthoughtthatoutwarddecencymaybeboughttoodearlyattimes。IincludedJacobus,myself,thewholepopulationoftheisland,inthesamecontemptuousdisgustasthoughwehadbeenpartnersinanignobletransaction。Andtherememberedvisionatsea,diaphanousandblue,ofthePearloftheOceanatsixtymilesoff;theunsubstantial,clearmarvelofitasifevokedbytheartofabeautifulandpuremagic,turnedintoathingofhorrorstoo。Wasthisthefortunethisvaporousandrareapparitionhadheldformeinitshardheart,hiddenwithintheshapeasoffairdreamsandmist?Wasthismyluck? \"Ithink\"—Jacobusbecamesuddenlyaudibleafterwhatseemedthesilenceofvilemeditation—\"thatyoumightconvenientlytakesomethirtytons。Thatwouldbeaboutthelot,Captain。\" \"Wouldit?Thelot!Idaresayitwouldbeconvenient,butI haven’tgotenoughmoneyforthat。\" Ihadneverseenhimsoanimated。 \"No!\"heexclaimedwithwhatItookfortheaccentofgrimmenace。 \"That’sapity。\"Hepaused,then,unrelenting:\"Howmuchmoneyhaveyougot,Captain?\"heinquiredwithawfuldirectness。 Itwasmyturntofacehimsquarely。IdidsoandmentionedtheamountIcoulddisposeof。AndIperceivedthathewasdisappointed。Hethoughtitover,hiscalculatinggazelostinmine,forquitealongtimebeforehecameoutinathoughtfultonewiththerapacioussuggestion: \"Youcoulddrawsomemorefromyourcharterers。Thatwouldbequiteeasy,Captain。\" \"No,Icouldn’t,\"Iretortedbrusquely。\"I’vedrawnmysalaryuptodate,andbesides,theship’saccountsareclosed。\" Iwasgrowingfurious。Ipursued:\"AndI’lltellyouwhat:ifI coulddoitIwouldn’t。\"Thenthrowingoffallrestraint,Iadded: \"YouareabittoomuchofaJacobus,Mr。Jacobus。\" Thetonealonewasinsultingenough,butheremainedtranquil,onlyalittlepuzzled,tillsomethingseemedtodawnuponhim;buttheunwontedlightinhiseyesdiedoutinstantly。AsaJacobusonhisnativeheath,whatamereskipperchosetosaycouldnottouchhim,outcastashewas。Asaship—chandlerhecouldstandanything。 AllIcaughtofhismumblewasavague—\"quitecorrect,\"thanwhichnothingcouldhavebeenmoreegregiouslyfalseatbottom—tomyview,atleast。ButIremembered—Ihadneverforgotten—thatImustseethegirl。Ididnotmeantogo。ImeanttostayinthehousetillIhadseenheroncemore。 \"Lookhere!\"Isaidfinally。\"I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo。I’lltakeasmanyofyourconfoundedpotatoesasmymoneywillbuy,onconditionthatyougooffatoncedowntothewharftoseethemloadedinthelighterandsentalongsidetheshipstraightaway。 Taketheinvoiceandasignedreceiptwithyou。Here’sthekeyofmydesk。GiveittoBurns。Hewillpayyou。 HegotupfromhischairbeforeIhadfinishedspeaking,butherefusedtotakethekey。Burnswouldneverdoit。Hewouldn’tliketoaskhimeven。 \"Well,then,\"Isaid,eyeinghimslightingly,\"there’snothingforit,Mr。Jacobus,butyoumustwaitonboardtillIcomeofftosettlewithyou。\" \"Thatwillbeallright,Captain。Iwillgoatonce。\" Heseemedatalosswhattodowiththegirl’sshoehewasstillholdinginhisfist。Finally,lookingdullyatme,heputitdownonthechairfromwhichhehadrisen。 \"Andyou,Captain?Won’tyoucomealong,too,justtosee—\" \"Don’tbotheraboutme。I’lltakecareofmyself。\" Heremainedperplexedforamoment,asiftryingtounderstand;andthenhisweighty:\"Certainly,certainly,Captain,\"seemedtobetheoutcomeofsomesuddenthought。Hisbigchestheaved。Wasitasigh?Ashewentouttohurryoffthosepotatoesheneverlookedbackatme。 Iwaitedtillthenoiseofhisfootstepshaddiedoutofthedining—room,andIwaitedalittlelonger。ThenturningtowardsthedistantdoorIraisedmyvoicealongtheverandah: \"Alice!\" Nothingansweredme,notevenastirbehindthedoor。Jacobus’shousemighthavebeenmadeemptyformetomakemyselfathomein。 Ididnotcallagain。Ihadbecomeawareofagreatdiscouragement。Iwasmentallyjaded,morallydejected。Iturnedtothegardenagain,sittingdownwithmyelbowsspreadonthelowbalustrade,andtookmyheadinmyhands。 Theeveningcloseduponme。Theshadowslengthened,deepened,mingledtogetherintoapooloftwilightinwhichtheflower—bedsglowedlikecolouredembers;whiffsofheavyscentcametomeasiftheduskofthishemispherewerebutthedimnessofatempleandthegardenanenormouscenserswingingbeforethealtarofthestars。Thecoloursoftheblossomsdeepened,losingtheirglowonebyone。 Thegirl,whenIturnedmyheadataslightnoise,appearedtomeverytallandslender,advancingwithaswayinglimp,afloatingandunevenmotionwhichendedinthesinkingofhershadowyformintothedeeplowchair。AndIdon’tknowwhyorwhenceIreceivedtheimpressionthatshehadcometoolate。Sheoughttohaveappearedatmycall。Sheoughttohave……Itwasasifasupremeopportunityhadbeenmissed。 Iroseandtookaseatclosetoher,nearlyoppositeherarm—chair。 Hereverdiscontentedvoiceaddressedmeatonce,contemptuously: \"Youarestillhere。\" Ipitchedminelow。 \"Youhavecomeoutatlast。\" \"Icametolookformyshoe—beforetheybringinthelights。\" Itwasherharsh,enticingwhisper,subdued,notverysteady,butitslowtremulousnessgavemenothrillnow。Icouldonlymakeouttheovalofherface,heruncoveredthroat,thelong,whitegleamofhereyes。Shewasmysteriousenough。Herhandswererestingonthearmsofthechair。Butwherewasthemysteriousandprovokingsensationwhichwasliketheperfumeofherflower—likeyouth?I saidquietly: \"Ihavegotyourshoehere。\"ShemadenosoundandIcontinued: \"YouhadbettergivemeyourfootandIwillputitonforyou。\" Shemadenomovement。Ibentlowdownandgropedforherfootundertheflouncesofthewrapper。ShedidnotwithdrawitandI putontheshoe,buttoningtheinstep—strap。Itwasaninanimatefoot。Ilowereditgentlytothefloor。 \"Ifyoubuttonedthestrapyouwouldnotbelosingyourshoe,MissDon’tCare,\"Isaid,tryingtobeplayfulwithoutconviction。I feltmorelikewailingoverthelostillusionofvaguedesire,overthesuddenconvictionthatIwouldneverfindagainnearherthestrange,half—evil,half—tendersensationwhichhadgivenitsacridflavourtosomanydays,whichhadmadeherappeartragicandpromising,pitifulandprovoking。Thatwasallover。 \"Yourfatherpickeditup,\"Isaid,thinkingshemayjustaswellbetoldofthefact。 \"Iamnotafraidofpapa—byhimself,\"shedeclaredscornfully。 \"Oh!It’sonlyinconjunctionwithhisdisreputableassociates,strangers,the’riff—raffofEurope’asyourcharmingauntorgreat—auntsays—menlikeme,forinstance—thatyou—\" \"Iamnotafraidofyou,\"shesnappedout。 \"That’sbecauseyoudon’tknowthatIamnowdoingbusinesswithyourfather。Yes,Iaminfactdoingexactlywhathewantsmetodo。I’vebrokenmypromisetoyou。That’sthesortofmanIam。 Andnow—aren’tyouafraid?Ifyoubelievewhatthatdear,kind,truthfuloldladysaysyououghttobe。\" Itwaswithunexpectedmodulatedsoftnessthattheaffirmed: \"No。Iamnotafraid。\"Shehesitated……\"Notnow。\" \"Quiteright。Youneedn’tbe。IshallnotseeyouagainbeforeI gotosea。\"Iroseandstoodnearherchair。\"ButIshalloftenthinkofyouinthisoldgarden,passingunderthetreesoverthere,walkingbetweenthesegorgeousflower—beds。Youmustlovethisgarden—\" \"Ilovenothing。\" IheardinhersullentonethefaintechoofthatresentfullytragicnotewhichIhadfoundoncesoprovoking。ButitleftmeunmovedexceptforasuddenandwearyconvictionoftheemptinessofallthingsunderHeaven。 \"Good—bye,Alice,\"Isaid。 Shedidnotanswer,shedidnotmove。Tomerelytakeherhand,shakeit,andgoawayseemedimpossible,almostimproper。I stoopedwithouthasteandpressedmylipstohersmoothforehead。 ThiswasthemomentwhenIrealisedclearlywithasortofterrormycompletedetachmentfromthatunfortunatecreature。AndasI lingeredinthatcruelself—knowledgeIfeltthelighttouchofherarmsfallinglanguidlyonmyneckandreceivedahasty,awkward,haphazardkisswhichmissedmylips。No!Shewasnotafraid;butIwasnolongermoved。Herarmsslippedoffmyneckslowly,shemadenosound,thedeepwickerarm—chaircreakedslightly;onlyasenseofmydignitypreventedmefleeingheadlongfromthatcatastrophicrevelation。 Itraversedthedining—roomslowly。Ithought:She’slisteningtomyfootsteps;shecan’thelpit;she’llhearmeopenandshutthatdoor。AndIcloseditasgentlybehindmeasifIhadbeenathiefretreatingwithhisill—gottenbooty。DuringthatstealthyactI experiencedthelasttouchofemotioninthathouse,atthethoughtofthegirlIhadleftsittingthereintheobscurity,withherheavyhairandemptyeyesasblackasthenightitself,staringintothewalledgarden,silent,warm,odorouswiththeperfumeofimprisonedflowers,which,likeherself,werelosttosightinaworldburiedindarkness。 Thenarrow,ill—lighted,rusticstreetsIknewsowellonmywaytotheharbourwereextremelyquiet。Ifeltinmyheartthatthefurtheroneventuresthebetteroneunderstandshoweverythinginourlifeiscommon,short,andempty;thatitisinseekingtheunknowninoursensationsthatwediscoverhowmediocreareourattemptsandhowsoondefeated!Jacobus’sboatmanwaswaitingatthestepswithanunusualairofreadiness。Heputmealongsidetheship,butdidnotgivemehisconfidential\"Good—evening,sah,\" and,insteadofshovingoffatonce,remainedholdingbytheladder。 Iwasathousandmilesfromcommercialaffairs,whenonthedarkquarter—deckMr。Burnspositivelyrushedatme,stammeringwithexcitement。Hehadbeenpacingthedeckdistractedlyforhoursawaitingmyarrival。Justbeforesunsetalighterloadedwithpotatoeshadcomealongsidewiththatfatship—chandlerhimselfsittingonthepileofsacks。Hewasnowstuckimmovableinthecabin。Whatwasthemeaningofitall?SurelyIdidnot— \"Yes,Mr。Burns,Idid,\"Icuthimshort。HewasbeginningtomakegesturesofdespairwhenIstoppedthat,too,bygivinghimthekeyofmydeskanddesiringhim,inatonewhichadmittedofnoargument,togobelowatonce,payMr。Jacobus’sbill,andsendhimoutoftheship。 \"Idon’twanttoseehim,\"Iconfessedfrankly,climbingthepoop— ladder。Ifeltextremelytired。Droppingontheseatoftheskylight,Igavemyselfuptoidlegazingatthelightsaboutthequayandattheblackmassofthemountainonthesouthsideoftheharbour。IneverheardJacobusleavetheshipwitheverysinglesovereignofmyreadycashinhispocket。Ineverheardanythingtill,alongtimeafterwards,Mr。Burns,unabletocontainhimselfanylonger,intrudeduponmewithhisridiculouslyangrylamentationsatmyweaknessandgoodnature。 \"Ofcourse,there’splentyofroomintheafter—hatch。Buttheyaresuretogorottendownthere。Well!Ineverheard…… seventeentons!IsupposeImusthoistinthatlotfirstthingto— morrowmorning。\" \"Isupposeyoumust。Unlessyoudropthemoverboard。ButI’mafraidyoucan’tdothat。Iwouldn’tmindmyself,butit’sforbiddentothrowrubbishintotheharbour,youknow。\" \"Thatisthetruestwordyouhavesaidformanyaday,sir— rubbish。That’sjustwhatIexpecttheyare。Nearlyeightygoodgoldsovereignsgone;aperfectlycleansweepofyourdrawer,sir。 BlessmeifIunderstand!\" AsitwasimpossibletothrowtherightlightonthiscommercialtransactionIlefthimtohislamentationsandundertheimpressionthatIwasahopelessfool。NextdayIdidnotgoashore。Foronething,Ihadnomoneytogoashorewith—no,notenoughtobuyacigarette。Jacobushadmadeacleansweep。Butthatwasnottheonlyreason。ThePearloftheOceanhadinafewshorthoursgrownodioustome。AndIdidnotwanttomeetanyone。Myreputationhadsuffered。IknewIwastheobjectofunkindandsarcasticcomments。 Thefollowingmorningatsunrise,justasourstern—fastshadbeenletgoandthetugpluckedusoutfrombetweenthebuoys,IsawJacobusstandingupinhisboat。Theniggerwaspullinghard; severalbasketsofprovisionsforshipswerestowedbetweenthethwarts。ThefatherofAlicewasgoinghismorninground。Hiscountenancewastranquilandfriendly。Heraisedhisarmandshoutedsomethingwithgreatheartiness。Buthisvoicewasofthesortthatdoesn’tcarryanydistance;allIcouldcatchfaintly,orratherguessat,werethewords\"nexttime\"and\"quitecorrect。\" AnditwasonlyoftheselastthatIwascertain。Raisingmyarmperfunctorilyforallresponse,Iturnedaway。Iratherresentedthefamiliarityofthething。Hadn’tIsettledaccountsfinallywithhimbymeansofthatpotatobargain? Thisbeingaharbourstoryitisnotmypurposetospeakofourpassage。Iwasgladenoughtobeatsea,butnotwiththegladnessofolddays。FormerlyIhadnomemoriestotakeawaywithme。I sharedintheblessedforgetfulnessofsailors,thatforgetfulnessnaturalandinvincible,whichresemblesinnocenceinsofarthatitpreventsself—examination。NowhoweverIrememberedthegirl。 DuringthefirstfewdaysIwasforeverquestioningmyselfastothenatureoffactsandsensationsconnectedwithherpersonandwithmyconduct。 AndImustsayalsothatMr。Burns’intolerablefussingwiththosepotatoeswasnotcalculatedtomakemeforgetthepartwhichIhadplayed。Helookeduponitasapurelycommercialtransactionofaparticularlyfoolishkind,andhisdevotion—ifitwasdevotionandnotmerecussednessasIcametoregarditbeforelong— inspiredhimwithazealtominimisemylossasmuchaspossible。 Oh,yes!Hetookcareofthoseinfamouspotatoeswithavengeance,asthesayinggoes。 Everlastingly,therewasatackleovertheafter—hatchandeverlastinglythewatchondeckwerepullingup,spreadingout,pickingover,rebagging,andloweringdownagain,somepartofthatlotofpotatoes。Mybargainwithallitsremotestassociations,mentalandvisual—thegardenofflowersandscents,thegirlwithherprovokingcontemptandhertragiclonelinessofahopelesscastaway—waseverlastinglydangledbeforemyeyes,forthousandsofmilesalongtheopensea。Andasifbyasatanicrefinementofironyitwasaccompaniedbyamostawfulsmell。Whiffsfromdecayingpotatoespursuedmeonthepoop,theymingledwithmythoughts,withmyfood,poisonedmyverydreams。Theymadeanatmosphereofcorruptionfortheship。 IremonstratedwithMr。Burnsaboutthisexcessivecare。Iwouldhavebeenwellcontenttobattenthehatchdownandletthemperishunderthedeck。 Thatperhapswouldhavebeenunsafe。Thehorridemanationsmighthaveflavouredthecargoofsugar。Theyseemedstrongenoughtotainttheveryironwork。InadditionMr。Burnsmadeitapersonalmatter。Heassuredmeheknewhowtotreatacargoofpotatoesatsea—hadbeeninthetradeasaboy,hesaid。Hemeanttomakemylossassmallaspossible。Whatbetweenhisdevotion—itmusthavebeendevotion—andhisvanity,Ipositivelydarednotgivehimtheordertothrowmycommercial—ventureoverboard。Ibelievehewouldhaverefusedpointblanktoobeymylawfulcommand。AnunprecedentedandcomicalsituationwouldhavebeencreatedwithwhichIdidnotfeelequaltodeal。 Iwelcomedthecomingofbadweatherasnosailorhadeverdone。 WhenatlastIhovetheshipto,topickupthepilotoutsidePortPhilipHeads,theafter—hatchhadnotbeenopenedformorethanaweekandImighthavebelievedthatnosuchthingasapotatohadeverbeenonboard。 Itwasanabominableday,raw,blustering,withgreatsquallsofwindandrain;thepilot,acheeryperson,lookedaftertheshipandchattedtome,streamingfromheadtofoot;andtheheavierthelashofthedownpourthemorepleasedwithhimselfandeverythingaroundhimheseemedtobe。Herubbedhiswethandswithasatisfaction,whichtome,whohadstoodthatkindofthingforseveraldaysandnights,seemedinconceivableinanynon—aquaticcreature。 \"Youseemtoenjoygettingwet,Pilot,\"Iremarked。 Hehadabitoflandroundhishouseinthesuburbsanditwasofhisgardenhewasthinking。Atthesoundofthewordgarden,unheard,unspokenforsomanydays,Ihadavisionofgorgeouscolour,ofsweetscents,ofagirlishfigurecrouchinginachair。 Yes。ThatwasadistinctemotionbreakingintothepeaceIhadfoundinthesleeplessanxietiesofmyresponsibilityduringaweekofdangerousbadweather。TheColony,thepilotexplained,hadsufferedfromunparalleleddrought。Thiswasthefirstdecentdropofwatertheyhadhadforsevenmonths。Therootcropswerelost。 And,tryingtobecasual,butwithvisibleinterest,heaskedmeifIhadperchanceanypotatoestospare。 Potatoes!Ihadmanagedtoforgetthem。InamomentIfeltplungedintocorruptionuptomyneck。Mr。Burnswasmakingeyesatmebehindthepilot’sback。 Finally,heobtainedaton,andpaidtenpoundsforit。ThiswastwicethepriceofmybargainwithJacobus。Thespiritofcovetousnesswokeupinme。Thatnight,inharbour,beforeI slept,theCustomHousegalleycamealongside。Whilehisunderlingswereputtingsealsonthestorerooms,theofficerinchargetookmeasideconfidentially。\"Isay,Captain,youdon’thappentohaveanypotatoestosell。\" Clearlytherewasapotatofamineintheland。Ilethimhaveatonfortwelvepoundsandhewentawayjoyfully。ThatnightI dreamtofapileofgoldintheformofagraveinwhichagirlwasburied,andwokeupcallouswithgreed。Oncallingatmyship— broker’soffice,thatman,aftertheusualbusinesshadbeentransacted,pushedhisspectaclesuponhisforehead。 \"Iwasthinking,Captain,thatcomingfromthePearloftheOceanyoumayhavesomepotatoestosell。\" Isaidnegligently:\"Oh,yes,Icouldspareyouaton。Fifteenpounds。\" Heexclaimed:\"Isay!\"Butafterstudyingmyfaceforawhileacceptedmytermswithafaintgrimace。Itseemsthatthesepeoplecouldnotexistwithoutpotatoes。Icould。Ididn’twanttoseeapotatoaslongasIlived;butthedemonoflucrehadtakenpossessionofme。HowthenewsgotaboutIdon’tknow,but,returningonboardratherlate,Ifoundasmallgroupofmenofthecostertypehangingaboutthewaist,whileMr。Burnswalkedtoandfrothequarterdeckloftily,keepingatriumphanteyeonthem。 Theyhadcometobuypotatoes。 \"Thesechapshavebeenwaitinghereinthesunforhours,\"Burnswhisperedtomeexcitedly。\"Theyhavedrankthewater—caskdry。 Don’tyouthrowawayyourchances,sir。Youaretoogood—natured。\" Iselectedamanwiththicklegsandamanwithacastinhiseyetonegotiatewith;simplybecausetheywereeasilydistinguishablefromtherest。\"Youhavethemoneyonyou?\"Iinquired,beforetakingthemdownintothecabin。 \"Yes,sir,\"theyansweredinonevoice,slappingtheirpockets。I likedtheirairofquietdetermination。LongbeforetheendofthedayallthepotatoesweresoldataboutthreetimesthepriceIhadpaidforthem。Mr。Burns,feverishandexulting,congratulatedhimselfonhisskilfulcareofmycommercialventure,buthintedplainlythatIoughttohavemademoreofit。 ThatnightIdidnotsleepverywell。IthoughtofJacobusbyfitsandstarts,betweensnatchesofdreamsconcernedwithcastawaysstarvingonadesertislandcoveredwithflowers。Itwasextremelyunpleasant。Inthemorning,tiredandunrefreshed,Isatdownandwrotealonglettertomyowners,givingthemacarefully—thought— outschemefortheship’semploymentintheEastandabouttheChinaSeasforthenexttwoyears。Ispentthedayatthattaskandfeltsomewhatmoreatpeacewhenitwasdone。 Theirreplycameinduecourse。Theyweregreatlystruckwithmyproject;butconsideringthat,notwithstandingtheunfortunatedifficultywiththebags(whichtheytrustedIwouldknowhowtoguardagainstinthefuture),thevoyageshowedaveryfairprofit,theythoughtitwouldbebettertokeeptheshipinthesugartrade—atleastforthepresent。 Iturnedoverthepageandreadon: \"WehavehadaletterfromourgoodfriendMr。Jacobus。Wearepleasedtoseehowwellyouhavehititoffwithhim;for,nottospeakofhisassistanceintheunfortunatematterofthebags,hewritesusthatshouldyou,byusingallpossibledispatch,managetobringtheshipbackearlyintheseasonhewouldbeabletogiveusagoodrateoffreight。Wehavenodoubtthatyourbestendeavours……etc……etc。\" Idroppedtheletterandsatmotionlessforalongtime。ThenI wrotemyanswer(itwasashortone)andwentashoremyselftopostit。ButIpassedoneletter—box,thenanother,andintheendfoundmyselfgoingupCollinsStreetwiththeletterstillinmypocket—againstmyheart。CollinsStreetatfouro’clockintheafternoonisnotexactlyadesertsolitude;butIhadneverfeltmoreisolatedfromtherestofmankindaswhenIwalkedthatdayitscrowdedpavement,battlingdesperatelywithmythoughtsandfeelingalreadyvanquished。 TherecameamomentwhentheawfultenacityofJacobus,themanofonepassionandofoneidea,appearedtomealmostheroic。Hehadnotgivenmeup。Hehadgoneagaintohisodiousbrother。Andthenheappearedtomeodioushimself。Wasitforhisownsakeorforthesakeofthepoorgirl?Andonthatlastsuppositionthememoryofthekisswhichmissedmylipsappalledme;forwhateverhehadseen,orguessedat,orrisked,heknewnothingofthat。 Unlessthegirlhadtoldhim。HowcouldIgobacktofanthatfatalsparkwithmycoldbreath?No,no,thatunexpectedkisshadtobepaidforatitsfullprice。 Atthefirstletter—boxIcametoIstoppedandreachingintomybreast—pocketItookouttheletter—itwasasifIwerepluckingoutmyveryheart—anddroppeditthroughtheslit。ThenIwentstraightonboard。 IwonderedwhatdreamsIwouldhavethatnight;butasitturnedoutIdidnotsleepatall。AtbreakfastIinformedMr。BurnsthatIhadresignedmycommand。 Hedroppedhisknifeandforkandlookedatmewithindignation。 \"Youhave,sir!Ithoughtyoulovedtheship。\" \"SoIdo,Burns,\"Isaid。\"ButthefactisthattheIndianOceanandeverythingthatisinithaslostitscharmforme。IamgoinghomeaspassengerbytheSuezCanal。\" \"Everythingthatisinit,\"herepeatedangrily。\"I’veneverheardanybodytalklikethis。Andtotellyouthetruth,sir,allthetimewehavebeentogetherI’veneverquitemadeyouout。What’soneoceanmorethananother?Charm,indeed!\" Hewasreallydevotedtome,Ibelieve。ButhecheeredupwhenI toldhimthatIhadrecommendedhimformysuccessor。 \"Anyhow,\"heremarked,\"letpeoplesaywhattheylike,thisJacobushasservedyourturn。Imustadmitthatthispotatobusinesshaspaidextremelywell。Ofcourse,ifonlyyouhad—\" \"Yes,Mr。Burns,\"Iinterrupted。\"Quiteasmileoffortune。\" ButIcouldnottellhimthatitwasdrivingmeoutoftheshipI hadlearnedtolove。AndasIsatheavy—heartedatthatparting,seeingallmyplansdestroyed,mymodestfutureendangered—forthiscommandwaslikeafootinthestirrupforayoungman—hegaveupcompletelyforthefirsttimehiscriticalattitude。 \"Awonderfulpieceofluck!\"hesaid。 THESECRETSHARER—ANEPISODEFROMTHECOAST Onmyrighthandtherewerelinesoffishing—stakesresemblingamysterioussystemofhalf—submergedbamboofences,incomprehensibleinitsdivisionofthedomainoftropicalfishes,andcrazyofaspectasifabandonedforeverbysomenomadtribeoffishermennowgonetotheotherendoftheocean;fortherewasnosignofhumanhabitationasfarastheeyecouldreach。Totheleftagroupofbarrenislets,suggestingruinsofstonewalls,towers,andblockhouses,haditsfoundationssetinablueseathatitselflookedsolid,sostillandstablediditliebelowmyfeet;eventhetrackoflightfromthewesteringsunshonesmoothly,withoutthatanimatedglitterwhichtellsofanimperceptibleripple。AndwhenIturnedmyheadtotakeapartingglanceatthetugwhichhadjustleftusanchoredoutsidethebar,Isawthestraightlineoftheflatshorejoinedtothestablesea,edgetoedge,withaperfectandunmarkedcloseness,inonelevelledfloorhalfbrown,halfblueundertheenormousdomeofthesky。Correspondingintheirinsignificancetotheisletsofthesea,twosmallclumpsoftrees,oneoneachsideoftheonlyfaultintheimpeccablejoint,markedthemouthoftheriverMeinamwehadjustleftonthefirstpreparatorystageofourhomewardjourney;and,farbackontheinlandlevel,alargerandloftiermass,thegrovesurroundingthegreatPaknampagoda,wastheonlythingonwhichtheeyecouldrestfromthevaintaskofexploringthemonotonoussweepofthehorizon。Hereandtheregleamsasofafewscatteredpiecesofsilvermarkedthewindingsofthegreatriver;andonthenearestofthem,justwithinthebar,thetugsteamingrightintothelandbecamelosttomysight,hullandfunnelandmasts,asthoughtheimpassiveearthhadswallowedherupwithoutaneffort,withoutatremor。Myeyefollowedthelightcloudofhersmoke,nowhere,nowthere,abovetheplain,accordingtothedeviouscurvesofthestream,butalwaysfainterandfartheraway,tillIlostitatlastbehindthemitre—shapedhillofthegreatpagoda。AndthenIwasleftalonewithmyship,anchoredattheheadoftheGulfofSiam。 Shefloatedatthestarting—pointofalongjourney,verystillinanimmensestillness,theshadowsofhersparsflungfartotheeastwardbythesettingsun。AtthatmomentIwasaloneonherdecks。Therewasnotasoundinher—andaroundusnothingmoved,nothinglived,notacanoeonthewater,notabirdintheair,notacloudinthesky。Inthisbreathlesspauseatthethresholdofalongpassageweseemedtobemeasuringourfitnessforalongandarduousenterprise,theappointedtaskofbothourexistencestobecarriedout,farfromallhumaneyes,withonlyskyandseaforspectatorsandforjudges。 Theremusthavebeensomeglareintheairtointerferewithone’ssight,becauseitwasonlyjustbeforethesunleftusthatmyroamingeyesmadeoutbeyondthehighestridgeoftheprincipalisletofthegroupsomethingwhichdidawaywiththesolemnityofperfectsolitude。Thetideofdarknessflowedonswiftly;andwithtropicalsuddennessaswarmofstarscameoutabovetheshadowyearth,whileIlingeredyet,myhandrestinglightlyonmyship’srailasifontheshoulderofatrustedfriend。But,withallthatmultitudeofcelestialbodiesstaringdownatone,thecomfortofquietcommunionwithherwasgoneforgood。Andtherewerealsodisturbingsoundsbythistime—voices,footstepsforward;thestewardflittedalongthemaindeck,abusilyministeringspirit;ahand—belltinkledurgentlyunderthepoop—deck…… Ifoundmytwoofficerswaitingformenearthesuppertable,inthelightedcuddy。Wesatdownatonce,andasIhelpedthechiefmate,Isaid: \"Areyouawarethatthereisashipanchoredinsidetheislands?I sawhermastheadsabovetheridgeasthesunwentdown。\" Heraisedsharplyhissimpleface,overchargedbyaterriblegrowthofwhisker,andemittedhisusualejaculations:\"Blessmysoul,sir!Youdon’tsayso!\" Mysecondmatewasaround—cheeked,silentyoungman,gravebeyondhisyears,Ithought;butasoureyeshappenedtomeetIdetectedaslightquiveronhislips。Ilookeddownatonce。Itwasnotmyparttoencouragesneeringonboardmyship。Itmustbesaid,too,thatIknewverylittleofmyofficers。Inconsequenceofcertaineventsofnoparticularsignificance,excepttomyself,Ihadbeenappointedtothecommandonlyafortnightbefore。NeitherdidI knowmuchofthehandsforward。Allthesepeoplehadbeentogetherforeighteenmonthsorso,andmypositionwasthatoftheonlystrangeronboard。Imentionthisbecauseithassomebearingonwhatistofollow。ButwhatIfeltmostwasmybeingastrangertotheship;andifallthetruthmustbetold,Iwassomewhatofastrangertomyself。Theyoungestmanonboard(barringthesecondmate),anduntriedasyetbyapositionofthefullestresponsibility,Iwaswillingtotaketheadequacyoftheothersforgranted。Theyhadsimplytobeequaltotheirtasks;butI wonderedhowfarIshouldturnoutfaithfultothatidealconceptionofone’sownpersonalityeverymansetsupforhimselfsecretly。 Meantimethechiefmate,withanalmostvisibleeffectofcollaborationonthepartofhisroundeyesandfrightfulwhiskers,wastryingtoevolveatheoryoftheanchoredship。Hisdominanttraitwastotakeallthingsintoearnestconsideration。Hewasofapainstakingturnofmind。Asheusedtosay,he\"likedtoaccounttohimself\"forpracticallyeverythingthatcameinhisway,downtoamiserablescorpionhehadfoundinhiscabinaweekbefore。Thewhyandthewhereforeofthatscorpion—howitgotonboardandcametoselecthisroomratherthanthepantry(whichwasadarkplaceandmorewhatascorpionwouldbepartialto),andhowonearthitmanagedtodrownitselfintheinkwellofhiswriting— desk—hadexercisedhiminfinitely。Theshipwithintheislandswasmuchmoreeasilyaccountedfor;andjustaswewereabouttorisefromtablehemadehispronouncement。Shewas,hedoubtednot,ashipfromhomelatelyarrived。Probablyshedrewtoomuchwatertocrossthebarexceptatthetopofspringtides。 Thereforeshewentintothatnaturalharbourtowaitforafewdaysinpreferencetoremaininginanopenroadstead。 \"That’sso,\"confirmedthesecondmate,suddenly,inhisslightlyhoarsevoice。\"Shedrawsovertwentyfeet。She’stheLiverpoolshipSephorawithacargoofcoal。Hundredandtwenty—threedaysfromCardiff。\" Welookedathiminsurprise。 \"Thetugboatskippertoldmewhenhecameonboardforyourletters,sir,\"explainedtheyoungman。\"Heexpectstotakeheruptheriverthedayafterto—morrow。\" Afterthusoverwhelminguswiththeextentofhisinformationheslippedoutofthecabin。Themateobservedregretfullythathe\"couldnotaccountforthatyoungfellow’swhims。\"Whatpreventedhimtellingusallaboutitatonce,hewantedtoknow。 Idetainedhimashewasmakingamove。Forthelasttwodaysthecrewhadhadplentyofhardwork,andthenightbeforetheyhadverylittlesleep。IfeltpainfullythatI—astranger—wasdoingsomethingunusualwhenIdirectedhimtoletallhandsturninwithoutsettingananchor—watch。Iproposedtokeepondeckmyselftilloneo’clockorthereabouts。Iwouldgetthesecondmatetorelievemeatthathour。