YoungButesaidthat，speakingasanarchitect，heofcourseadmiredtheancientmasterpiecesofhisart。HeadmiredtheErechtheumatAthens；butSpurgeon’sTabernacleintheOldKentRoadbuiltuponthesamemodelwouldhaveirritatedhim。ForaGreciantempleyouwantedGrecianskiesandGreciangirls。Hesaidthat，evenasitwas，WestminsterAbbeyintheseasonwasaneyesoretohim。TheDeanandChoirintheirwhitesurplicespassedmuster，butthecongregationinitsblackfrock—coatsandParishatsgavehimthesamesenseofincongruityaswouldabanquetofbarefootedfriarsinthedining—
halloftheCannonStreetHotel。
Itstruckmetherewassenseinwhathesaid。Idecidednottomentionmyideaofcarving1553abovethefront—door。
Hesaidhecouldnotunderstandthispassionofthemodernhouse—
builderforplayingatbeingaCrusaderoraCanterburyPilgrim。A
retiredBerlinboot—makerofhisacquaintancehadbuilthimselfaminiatureRomanCastlenearHeidelberg。Theyplayedbilliardsinthedungeon，andletofffireworksontheKaiser’sbirthdayfromtheroofofthewatch—tower。
Anotheracquaintanceofhis，adraperatHolloway，hadbuilthimselfamoatedgrange。Themoatwassuppliedfromthewater—worksunderspecialarrangement，andalltheelectriclightswereimitationcandles。Hehaddonethethingthoroughly。Hehadevendesignedahauntedchamberinblue，andaminiaturechapel，whichheusedasatelephonecloset。YoungButehadbeeninviteddowntherefortheshootingintheautumn。Hesaidhecouldnotbesurewhetherhewasdoingrightorwrong，buthisintentionwastoprovidehimselfwithabowandarrows。
Achangewascomingoverthisyoungman。Wehadtalkedonothersubjectsandhehadbeenshyanddeferential。Onthismatterofbricksandmortarhespokeasoneexplainingthings。
IventuredtosayafewwordsinfavouroftheTudorhouse。TheTudorhouse，heargued，wasafitandproperresidencefortheTudorcitizen——forthemanwhosewiferodebehindhimonapack—saddle，whoconductedhiscorrespondencebythehelpofamoss—trooper。TheTudorfireplacewasdesignedforfolkstowhomcoalwasunknown，andwholefttheirsmokingtotheirchimneys。Ahousethatlookedridiculouswithamotor—carbeforethedoor，wheretheelectricbelljarreduponone’ssenseoffitnesseverytimeoneheardit，wasoutofdate，hemaintained。
\"Foryou，sir，\"hecontinued，\"atwentieth—centurywriter，tobuildyourselfaTudorHousewouldbeasabsurdasforBenJonsontohaveplannedhimselfaNormanCastlewithatorture—chamberunderneaththewine—cellar，andthefireplaceinthemiddleofthedining—hall。HisfellowcroniesoftheMermaidwouldhavethoughthimstark，staringmad。\"
Therewasreasoninwhathewassaying。Idecidednottomentionmyideaofalteringthechimneysandfixingupimitationgables，especiallyasyoungButeseemedpleasedwiththehouse，whichbythistimewehadreached。
\"Now，thatisagoodhouse，\"saidyoungBute。\"Thatisahousewhereamaninafrock—coatandtrouserscansitdownandnotfeelhimselfastrangerfromanotherage。Itwasbuiltforamanwhoworeafrock—coatandtrousers——onweekdays，maybe，gaitersandashooting—
coat。YoucanenjoyagameofbilliardsinthathousewithoutthefeelingthatcomestoyouwhenplayingtennisintheshadowofthePyramids。\"
Weentered，andIputbeforehimmynotions——suchofthemasIfelthewouldapprove。Weweresometimeaboutthebusiness，andwhenwelookedatourwatchesyoungBute’slasttraintotownhadgone。
Therestillremainedmuchtotalkabout，andIsuggestedheshouldreturnwithmetothecottageandtakehisluck。IcouldsleepwithDickandhecouldhavemyroom。Itoldhimaboutthecow，buthesaidhewasapractisedsleeperandwouldbedelighted，ifIcouldlendhimanight—shirt，andifIthoughtMissRobinawouldnotbeputout。IassuredhimthatitwouldbeagoodthingforRobina；theunexpectedguestwouldbeausefullessontoherinhousekeeping。
Besides，asIpointedouttohim，itdidn’treallymatterevenifRobinawereputout。
\"Nottoyou，sir，perhaps，\"heanswered，withasmile。\"Itisnotwithyouthatshewillbeindignant。\"
\"Thatwillbeallright，myboy，\"Itoldhim；\"Itakeallresponsibility。\"
\"AndIshallgetalltheblame，\"helaughed。
But，asIpointedouttohim，itreallydidn’tmatterwhomRobinablamed。Wetalkedaboutwomengenerallyonourwayback。Itoldhim——impressinguponhimtherewasnoneedforittogofarther——thatIpersonallyhadcometotheconclusionthatthebestwaytodealwithwomenwastotreatthemallaschildren。Heagreeditmightbeagoodmethod，butwantedtoknowwhatyoudidwhentheytreatedyouasachild。
Iknowamostdelightfulcouple：theyhavebeenmarriednearlytwentyyears，andbothwillassureyouthatanangrywordhasneverpassedbetweenthem。Hecallsherhis\"LittleOne，\"althoughshemustbequitesixinchestallerthanhimself，andisnevertiredofpattingherhandorpinchingherear。Theyaskedheronceinthedrawing—room——sotheLittleMothertellsme——herrecipefordomesticbliss。Shesaidthemistakemostwomenmadewastakingmentooseriously。
\"Theyarejustovergrownchildren，that’salltheyare，poordears，\"
shelaughed。
Therearetwokindsoflove：thereisthelovethatkneelsandlooksupward，andthelovethatlooksdownandpats。FordurabilityIampreparedtobackthelatter。
ThearchitecthaddiedoutofyoungBute；hewasagainashyyoungmanduringourwalkbacktothecottage。Myhandwasonthelatchwhenhestayedme。
\"Isn’tthistheback—dooragain，sir？\"heenquired。
Itwastheback—door；Ihadnotnoticedit。
\"Hadn’twebettergoroundtothefront，sir，don’tyouthink？\"hesaid。
\"Itdoesn’tmatter——\"Ibegan。
Buthehaddisappeared。SoIfollowedhim，andweenteredbythefront。Robinawasstandingbythetable，peelingpotatoes。
\"IhavebroughtMr。Butebackwithme，\"Iexplained。\"Heisgoingtostopthenight。\"
Robinasaid：\"IfeverIgotoliveinacottageagainitwillhaveonedoor。\"Shetookherpotatoeswithherandwentupstairs。
\"Idohopesheisn’tputout，\"saidyoungBute。
\"Don’tworryyourself，\"Icomfortedhim。\"Ofcoursesheisn’tputout。Besides，Idon’tcareifsheis。She’sgottogetusedtobeingputout；it’spartofthelessonoflife。\"
Itookhimupstairs，meaningtoshowhimhisbedroomandtakemyownthingsoutofit。Thedoorsofthetwobedroomswereoppositeoneanother。Imadeamistakeandopenedthewrongdoor。Robina，stillpeelingpotatoes，wassittingonthebed。
Iexplainedwehadmadeamistake。Robinasaiditwasofnoconsequencewhatever，and，takingthepotatoeswithher，wentdownstairsagain。Lookingoutofthewindow，Isawhermakingtowardsthewood。Shewastakingthepotatoeswithher。
\"Idowishwehadn’topenedthedoorofthewrongroom，\"groanedyoungBute。
\"Whataworryingchapyouare！\"Isaidtohim。\"Lookatthethingfromthehumorouspointofview。It’sfunnywhenyoucometothinkofit。Whereverthepoorgirlgoes，tryingtopeelherpotatoesinpeaceandquietness，weburstinuponher。Whatweoughttodonowistotakeawalkinthewood。Itisaprettywood。Wemightsaywehadcometopickwildflowers。\"
ButIcouldnotpersuadehim。Hesaidhehadletterstowrite，and，ifIwouldallowhim，wouldremaininhisroomtilldinnerwasready。
DickandVeronicacameinalittlelater。DickhadbeentoseeMr。
St。Leonardtoarrangeaboutlessonsinfarming。HesaidhethoughtIshouldliketheoldman，whowasn’tabitlikeafarmer。HehadbroughtVeronicabackinoneofhergoodmoods，shehavingmetthereandfalleninlovewithadonkey。Dickconfidedtomethat，withoutcommittinghimself，hehadhintedtoVeronicathatifshewouldremaingoodforquitealongwhileImightbeinducedtobuyitforher。Itwasasturdylittleanimal，andcouldbemadeuseful。
Anyhow，itwouldgiveVeronicaanobjectinlife——somethingtostrivefor——whichwasjustwhatshewanted。Heisathoughtfulladattimes，isDick。
ThedinnerwasmoresuccessfulthanIhadhopedfor。Robinagaveusmelonasahorsd’oeuvre，followedbysardinesandafowl，withpotatoesandvegetablemarrow。Hercookingsurprisedme。IhadwarnedyoungButethatitmightbenecessarytoregardthisdinnerratherasajokethanasaneveningmeal，andwaspreparedmyselftoextractamusementfromitratherthannourishment。Mydisappointmentwasagreeable。Onecanalwaysimagineacomicdinner。
Idinedoncewithanewlymarriedcouplewhohadjustreturnedfromtheirhoneymoon。Weoughttohavesatdownateighto’clock；wesatdowninsteadathalf—pastten。Thecookhadstarteddrinkinginthemorning；byseveno’clockshewasspeechless。Thewife，givinguphopeataquartertoeight，hadcookedthedinnerherself。Theotherguestsweresympathisedwith，butallIgotwascongratulation。
\"He’llwritesomethingsofunnyaboutthisdinner，\"theysaid。
Youmighthavethoughtthecookhadgotdrunkonpurposetoobligeme。Ihaveneverbeenabletowriteanythingfunnyaboutthatdinner；itdepressesmetothisday，merelythinkingofit。
WefinishedupwithacoldtrifleandsomeexcellentcoffeethatRobinabrewedoveralamponthetablewhileDickandVeronicaclearedaway。ItwasoneofthejolliestlittledinnersIhaveevereaten；and，ifRobina’sfiguresaretobetrusted，costexactlysix—
and—fourpenceforthefiveofus。Therebeingnoservantsabout，wetalkedfreelyandenjoyedourselves。IbeganonceatadinnertotellagoodstoryaboutaScotchman，whenmyhostsilencedmewithalook。Heisakindlyman，andhadheardthestorybefore。Heexplainedtomeafterwards，overthewalnuts，thathisparlourmaidwasScotchandrathertouchy。ThetalkfellintothediscussionofHomeRule，andagainourhostsilencedus。ItseemedhisbutlerwasanIrishmanandaviolentParnellite。Somepeoplecantalkasthoughservantsweremeremachines，buttometheyarehumanbeings，andtheirpresencehampersme。Iknowmyguestshavenotheardthestorybefore，andfromone’sownfleshandbloodoneexpectsacertainamountofsacrifice。ButIfeelsosorryforthehousemaidwhoiswaiting；shemusthavehearditadozentimes。Ireallycannotinflictituponheragain。
Afterdinnerwepushedthetableintoacorner，andDickextractedasortofwaltzfromRobina’smandoline。ItisyearssinceIdanced；
butVeronicasaidshewouldratherdancewithmeanydaythanwithsomeofthe\"lumps\"youweregiventodragroundbythedancing—
mistress。Ihavehalfamindtotakeitupagain。Afterall，amanisonlyasoldashefeels。
YoungBute，itturnedout，wasacapitaldancer，andcouldevenreverse，whichinaroomfourteenfeetsquareisofadvantage。
Robinaconfidedtomeafterhewasgonethatwhilehewasdancingshecouldjusttoleratehim。IcannotmyselfseerhymeorreasoninRobina’sobjectiontohim。Heisnothandsome，butheisgood—
looking，asboysgo，andhasapleasantsmile。Robinasaysitishissmilethatmaddensher。Dickagreeswithmethatthereissenseinhim；andVeronica，notgiventoloosepraise，considershisperformanceofaRedIndian，bothdeadandalive，thefinestpieceofactingshehaseverencountered。Wewounduptheeveningwithalittlesinging。TheextentofDick’srepertoiresurprisedme；
evidentlyhehasnotbeensoidleatCambridgeasitseemed。YoungButehasabaritonevoiceofsomerichness。Werememberedatquarter—pasteleventhatVeronicaoughttohavegonetobedateight。
Wewereallofussurprisedatthelatenessofthehour。
\"Whycan’twealwaysliveinacottageanddojustaswelike？I’msureit’smuchjollier，\"VeronicaputittomeasIkissedhergoodnight。
\"Becauseweareidiots，mostofus，Veronica，\"Ianswered。
CHAPTERV
IstartedthenextmorningtocalluponSt。Leonard。NeartothehouseIencounteredyoungHopkinsonahorse。Hewaswavingapitchforkoverhisheadandreciting\"TheChargeoftheLightBrigade。\"Thehorselookedamused。HetoldmeIshouldfind\"thegov’nor\"upbythestables。St。Leonardisnotan\"oldman。\"Dickmusthaveseenhiminabadlight。Ishoulddescribehimasabouttheprimeoflife，alittleolderthanmyself，butnothingtospeakof。Dickwasright，however，insayinghewasnotlikeafarmer。Tobeginwith，\"HubertSt。Leonard\"doesnotsoundlikeafarmer。Onecanimagineamanwithanamelikethatwritingabookaboutfarming，havingtheoriesonthissubject。Butintheordinarycourseofnaturethingswouldnotgrowforhim。Hedoesnotlooklikeafarmer。Onecannotsaypreciselywhatitis，butthereisthataboutafarmerthattellsyouheisafarmer。Thefarmerhasawayofleaningoveragate。Therearenotmanywaysofleaningoveragate。
IhavetriedallIcouldthinkof，butitwasneverquitetherightway。Ithastobeintheblood。Afarmerhasawayofstandingononelegandlookingatathingthatisn’tthere。Itsoundssimple，butthereisknackinit。Thefarmerisnotsurpriseditisnotthere。Heneverexpectedittobethere。Itisoneofthosethingsthatoughttobe，andisnot。Thefarmer’slifeisfullofsuch。
Sufferingreducedtoascienceiswhatthefarmerstandsfor。Allhislifeheisthegoodmanstrugglingagainstadversity。Nothinghiswaycomesright。Thisdoesnotseemtobehisplanet。
Providencemeanswell，butshedoesnotunderstandfarming。Sheisdoingherbest，hesupposes；thatsheisabornmuddlerisnotherfault。IfProvidencecouldonlystepdownforamonthortwoandtakeafewlessonsinpracticalfarming，thingsmightbebetter；butthisbeingoutofthequestionthereisnothingmoretobesaid。
FromconversationwithfarmersoneconjuresupapictureofProvidenceasawell—intentionedamateur，putintoapositionforwhichsheisutterlyunsuited。
\"Rain，\"saysProvidence，\"theyarewantingrain。WhatdidIdowiththatrain？\"
Shefindstherainandstartsit，andispleasedwithherselfuntilsomeWanderingSpiritpausesonhiswayandaskshersarcasticallywhatshethinksshe’sdoing。
\"Raining，\"explainsProvidence。\"Theywantedrain——farmers，youknow，thatsortofpeople。\"
\"Theywon’twantanythingforlong，\"retortstheSpirit。\"They’llbedrownedintheirbedsbeforeyou’vedonewiththem。\"
\"Don’tsaythat！\"saysProvidence。
\"Well，havealookforyourselfifyouwon’tbelieveme，\"saystheSpirit。\"You’vespoiltthatharvestagain，you’veruinedallthefruit，andyouarerottingeventheturnips。Don’tyoueverlearnbyexperience？\"
\"Itissodifficult，\"saysProvidence，\"toregulatethesethingsjustright。\"
\"Soitseems——foryou，\"retortstheSpirit。\"Anyhow，Ishouldnotrainanymore，ifIwereyou。Ifyoumust，atleastgivethemtimetobuildanotherark。\"AndtheWanderingSpiritcontinuesonhisway。
\"Theplacedoeslookabitwet，nowIcometonoticeit，\"saysProvidence，peepingdownovertheedgeofherstar。\"Betterturnonthefineweather，Isuppose。\"
Shestartswithshecalls\"setfair，\"andfeelingnowthatsheissomethinglikeaProvidence，composesherselfforadoze。SheisstartledoutofhersleepbythereturnoftheWanderingSpirit。
\"Beendownthereagain？\"sheaskshimpleasantly。
\"Justcomeback，\"explainstheWanderingSpirit。
\"Prettyspot，isn’tit？\"saysProvidence。\"Thingsniceanddrydowntherenow，aren’tthey？\"
\"You’vehitit，\"heanswers。\"Dryistheword。Theriversaredriedup，thewellsaredriedup，thecattlearedying，thegrassisallwithered。Asfortheharvest，therewon’tbeanyharvestforthenexttwoyears！Oh，yes，thingsaredryenough。\"
OneimaginesProvidenceburstingintotears。\"Butyousuggestedyourselfalittlefineweather。\"
\"IknowIdid，\"answerstheSpirit。\"Ididn’tsuggestasixmonths’
droughtwiththethermometeratahundredandtwentyintheshade。
Doesn’tseemtomethatyou’vegotanysenseatall。\"
\"Idowishthisjobhadbeengiventosomeoneelse，\"saysProvidence。
\"Yes，andyouarenottheonlyonetowishit，\"retortstheSpiritunfeelingly。
\"Idomybest，\"urgesProvidence，wipinghereyeswithherwings。\"I
amnotfittedforit。\"
\"Atruerwordyouneveruttered，\"retortstheSpirit。
\"Itry——nobodycouldtryharder，\"wailsProvidence。\"EverythingIdoseemstobewrong。\"
\"Whatyouwant，\"saystheSpirit，\"islessenthusiasmandalittlecommonsenseinplaceofit。Yougetexcited，andthenyouloseyourhead。Whenyoudosendrain，tentooneyousenditwhenitisn’twanted。Youkeepbackyoursunshine——justasadufferatwhistkeepsbackhistrumps——untilitisnogood，andthenyoudealitoutallatonce。\"
\"I’lltryagain，\"saidProvidence。\"I’lltryquitehardthistime。\"
\"You’vebeentryingagain，\"retortstheSpiritunsympathetically，\"eversinceIhaveknownyou。Itisnotthatyoudonottry。Itisthatyouhavenotgotthehangofthings。Whydon’tyougetyourselfanalmanack？\"
TheWanderingSpirittakeshisleave。Providencetellsherselfshereallymustgetthatalmanack。Shetiesaknotinherhandkerchief。
Itisnotherfault：shewasmadelikeit。Sheforgetsaltogetherforwhatreasonshetiedthatknot。ThinksitwastoremindhertosendfrostsinMay，orScotchmistsinAugust。Sheisnotsurewhich，sosendsboth。Thefarmerhasceasedeventobeangrywithher——recognisesthatafflictionandsorrowaregoodforhisimmortalsoul，andpursueshiswayincalmnesstotheBankruptcyCourt。
HubertSt。Leonard，ofWindrushBottomFarm，Ifoundtobeaworried—
lookinggentleman。Hetapshisweather—glass，andhopesandfears，notknowingasyetthatallthingshavebeenorderedforhisill。Itwillbeyearsbeforehisspiritisattunedtothatattitudeoftranquildespairessentialtothefarmer：onefeelsit。Heistallandthin，withasensitive，mobileface，andacurioustrickoftakinghisheadeverynowandagainbetweenhishands，asiftobesureitisstillthere。WhenImethimhewasonthepointofstartingforhisround，soIwalkedwithhim。Hetoldmethathehadnotalwaysbeenafarmer。Tillafewyearsagohehadbeenastockbroker。Buthehadalwayshatedhisoffice；andhavingsavedalittle，haddeterminedwhenhecametofortytoenjoytherareluxuryoflivinghisownlife。Iaskedhimifhefoundthatfarmingpaid。
Hesaid：
\"Asineverythingelse，itdependsuponthepriceyouputuponyourself。Now，asacasualobserver，whatwageperannumwouldyousayIwasworth？\"
Itwasanawkwardquestion。
\"Youareafraidthatifyouspokecandidlyyouwouldoffendme，\"hesuggested。\"Verywell。Forthepurposeofexplainingmytheoryletustake，instead，yourowncase。Ihavereadallyourbooks，andI
likethem。Speakingasanadmirer，Ishouldestimateyouatfivehundredayear。You，perhaps，maketwothousand，andconsideryourselfworthfive。\"
Thewhimsicalsmilewithwhichheaccompaniedthespeechdisarmedme。
\"Whatwemostofusdo，\"hecontinued，\"istoover—capitaliseourselves。JohnSmith，honestlyworthahundredayear，claimstobeworthtwo。Result：difficultyofearningdividend，over—work，over—
worry，constantfearofbeingwoundup。Now，thereisthataboutyourworkthatsuggeststomeyouwouldbehappierearningfivehundredayearthanyoueverwillbeearningtwothousand。Topayyourdividend——toearnyourtwothousand——youhavetodoworkthatbringsyounopleasureinthedoing。Contentwithfivehundred，youcouldaffordtodoonlythatworkthatdoesgiveyoupleasure。Thisisnotaperfectworld，wemustremember。Intheperfectworldthethinkerwouldbeworthmorethanthemerejester。Intheperfectworldthefarmerwouldbeworthmorethanthestockbroker。InmakingtheexchangeIhadtowritemyselfdown。Iearnlessmoney，butgetmoreenjoymentoutoflife。Iusedtobeabletoaffordchampagne，butmyliverwasalwayswrong，andIdarednotdrinkit。NowI
cannotaffordchampagne，butIenjoymybeer。Thatismytheory，thatweareallofusentitledtopaymentaccordingtoourmarketvalue，neithermorenorless。Youcantakeitallincash。Iusedto。Oryoucantakelesscashandmorefun：thatiswhatIamgettingnow。\"
\"Itisdelightful，\"Isaid，\"tomeetwithaphilosopher。Onehearsaboutthem，ofcourse；butIhadgotitintomymindtheywerealldead。\"
\"Peoplelaughatphilosophy，\"hesaid。\"Inevercouldunderstandwhy。Itisthescienceoflivingafree，peaceful，happyexistence。
Iwouldgivehalfmyremainingyearstobeaphilosopher。\"
\"Iamnotlaughingatphilosophy，\"Isaid。\"Ihonestlythoughtyouwereaphilosopher。Ijudgedsofromthewayyoutalked。\"
\"Talked！\"heretorted。\"Anybodycantalk。Asyouhavejustsaid，I
talklikeaphilosopher。\"
\"Butyounotonlytalk，\"Iinsisted，\"youbehavelikeaphilosopher。
Sacrificingyourincometothejoyoflivingyourownlife！Itistheactofaphilosopher。\"
Iwantedtokeephimingoodhumour。Ihadthreethingstotalktohimabout：thecow，thedonkey，andDick。
\"No，itwasn’t，\"heanswered。\"Aphilosopherwouldhaveremainedastockbrokerandbeenjustashappy。Philosophydoesnotdependuponenvironment。Youputthephilosopherdownanywhere。Itisallthesametohim，hetakeshisphilosophywithhim。Youcansuddenlytellhimheisanemperor，orgivehimpenalservitudeforlife。Hegoesonbeingaphilosopherjustasifnothinghadhappened。Wehaveanoldtom—cat。Thechildrenleaditanawfullife。Itdoesnotseemtomattertothecat。Theyshutitupinthepiano：theirideaisthatitwillmakeanoiseandfrightensomeone。Itdoesn’tmakeanoise；itgoestosleep。Whenanhourlatersomeoneopensthepiano，thepoorthingislyingtherestretchedoutuponthekeyboardpurringtoitself。Theydressitupinthebaby’sclothesandtakeitoutintheperambulator：itliesthereperfectlycontentedlookingroundatthescenery——takesinthefreshair。Theyhaulitaboutbyitstail。
Youwouldthink，towatchitswinginggentlytoandfroheaddownwards，thatitwasgratefultothemforgivingitanewsensation。Apparentlyitlooksoneverythingthatcomesitswayashelpfulexperience。Itlostaleglastwinterinatrap：itgoesaboutquitecheerfullyonthree。Seemstoberatherpleased，ifanything，athavinglostthefourth——saveswashing。Now，heisyourtruephilosopher，thatcat；nevermindswhathappenstohim，andisequallycontentedifitdoesn’t。\"
Ifoundmyselfbecomingfretful。Iknowamanwithwhomitisimpossibletodisagree。MenattheClub——new—comers——havebeenluredintotakingbetsthattheycouldonanytopicunderthesunfindthemselvesoutofsympathywithhim。TheyhavedenouncedMr。LloydGeorgeasatraitortohiscountry。Thismanhasrisenandshakenthembythehand，wordsbeingtooweaktoexpresshisadmirationoftheiroutspokenfearlessness。YoumighthavethoughtthemNihilistsdenouncingtheRussianGovernmentfromthestepsoftheKremlinatMoscow。Theyhave，inthenextbreath，abusedMr。Balfourintermstransgressingthelawofslander。Hehasalmostfallenontheirnecks。IthastranspiredthattheonedreamofhislifewastohearMr。Balfourabused。Ihavetalkedtohimmyselfforaquarterofanhour，andgatheredthatathearthewasapeace—at—any—priceman，stronglyinfavourofConscription，avehementRepublican，withadeep—rootedcontemptfortheworkingclasses。Itisnotbadsporttocollecthalfadozenandtalkroundhim。Atsuchtimeshesuggeststhefamilydogthatsixpeoplefromdifferentpartsofthehousearecallingtoatthesametime。Hewantstogotothemallatonce。
IfeltIhadgottounderstandthisman，orhewouldworryme。
\"Wearegoingtobeneighbours，\"Isaid，\"andIaminclinedtothinkIshalllikeyou。Thatis，ifIcangettoknowyou。Youcommencebyenthusingonphilosophy：Ihastentoagreewithyou。Itisanoblescience。Whenmyyoungestdaughterhasgrownup，whentheotheronehaslearntalittlesense，whenDickisoffmyhands，andtheBritishpublichascometoappreciategoodliterature，Iamhopingtobeabitofaphilosophermyself。ButbeforeIcanexplaintoyoumyviewsyouhavealreadychangedyourown，andarelikeningthephilosophertoanoldtom—catthatseemstobeweakinhishead。
Soberlynow，whatareyou？\"
\"Afool，\"heansweredpromptly；\"amostunfortunatefool。Ihavethemindofaphilosophercoupledtoanintenselyirritabletemperament。
Myphilosophyteachesmetobeashamedofmyirritability，andmyirritabilitymakesmyphilosophyappeartobearrantnonsensetomyself。Thephilosopherinmetellsmeitdoesnotmatterwhenthetwinsfalldownthewishing—well。Itisnotadeepwell。Itisnotthefirsttimetheyhavefallenintoit：itwillnotbethelast。
Suchthingspass：thephilosopheronlysmiles。Themaninmecallsthephilosopherablitheringidiotforsayingitdoesnotmatterwhenitdoesmatter。Menhavetobecalledawayfromtheirworktohaulthemout。Weallofusgetwet。Igetwetandexcited，andthatalwaysstartsmyliver。Thechildren’sclothesareutterlyspoilt。
Confoundthem，\"——thebloodwasmountingtohishead——\"theynevercaretogonearthewellexcepttheyaredressedintheirbestclothes。
OnotherdaystheywillstopindoorsandreadFoxe’s’BookofMartyrs。’Thereissomethinguncannyabouttwins。Whatisit？Whyshouldtwinsbeworsethanotherchildren？Theordinarychildisnotanangel，Heavenknows。Takethesebootsofmine。Lookatthem；I
havehadthemforovertwoyears。Itramptenmilesadayinthem；
theyhavebeensoakedthroughahundredtimes。Youbuyaboyapairofboots——\"
\"Whydon’tyoucoveroverthewell？\"Isuggested。
\"Thereyouareagain，\"hereplied。\"Thephilosopherinme——thesensibleman——says，’Whatisthegoodofthewell？Itisnothingbutmudandrubbish。Somethingisalwaysfallingintoit——ifitisn’tthechildrenit’sthepigs。Whynotdoawaywithit？’\"
\"Seemstobesoundadvice，\"Icommented。
\"Itis，\"heagreed。\"NomanalivehasmoresoundcommonsensethanI
have，ifonlyIwerecapableoflisteningtomyself。DoyouknowwhyIdon’tbrickinthatwell？BecausemywifetoldmeIwouldhaveto。
Itwasthefirstthingshesaidwhenshesawit。Shesaysitagaineverytimeanythingdoesfallintoit。’Ifonlyyouwouldtakemyadvice’——youknowthesortofthing。Nobodyirritatesmemorethanthepersonwhosays，’Itoldyouso。’It’sapicturesqueoldruin：
itusedtobehaunted。That’sallbeenknockedontheheadsincewecame。Whatself—respectingnymphcanhauntawellintowhichchildrenandpigsareforeverflopping？\"
Helaughed；butbeforeIcouldjoinhimhewasangryagain。\"WhyshouldIblockupanhistoricwell，thatisanornamenttothegarden，becauseapackoffoolscan’tkeepagateshut？Asforthechildren，whattheywantisathoroughgoodwhipping，andoneofthesedays——\"
Avoicecryingtoustostopinterruptedhim。
\"Amonmyround。Can’tcome，\"heshouted。
\"Butyoumust，\"explainedthevoice。
Heturnedsoquicklythathealmostknockedmeover。\"Botherandconfoundthemall！\"hesaid。\"Whydon’ttheykeeptothetime—table？
There’snosysteminthisplace。Thatiswhatruinsfarming——wantofsystem。\"
Hewentongrumblingashewalked。Ifollowedhim。Halfwayacrossthefieldwemettheownerofthevoice。Shewasapleasant—lookinglass，notexactlypretty——notthesortofgirloneturnstolookatinacrowd——yet，havingseenher，itwasagreeabletocontinuelookingather。St。Leonardintroducedmetoherashiseldestdaughter，Janie，andexplainedtoherthatbehindthestudydoor，ifonlyshewouldtakethetroubletolook，shewouldfindatime—table—
\"Accordingtowhich，\"repliedMissJanie，withasmile，\"yououghtatthepresentmomenttobeintherick—yard，whichisjustwhereIwantyou。\"
\"Whattimeisit？\"heasked，feelinghiswaistcoatforawatchthatappearednottobethere。
\"Quartertoeleven，\"Itoldhim。
Hetookhisheadbetweenhishands。\"GoodGod！\"hecried，\"youdon’tsaythat！\"
Thenewbinder，MissJanietoldus，hadjustarrived。Shewasanxiousherfathershouldseeitwasinworkingorderbeforethemenwentback。\"Otherwise，\"sosheargued，\"oldWilkinswillpersistitwasallrightwhenhedeliveredit，andweshallhavenoremedy。\"
Weturnedtowardsthehouse。
\"Speakingofthepractical，\"Isaid，\"therewerethreethingsIcametotalktoyouabout。Firstandforemost，thatcow。\"
\"Ah，yes，thecow，\"saidSt。Leonard。Heturnedtohisdaughter。
\"ItwasMaud，wasitnot？\"
\"No，\"sheanswered，\"itwasSusie。\"
\"Itistheone，\"Isaid，\"thatbellowsmostallnightandthreepartsoftheday。YourboyHopkinsthinksmaybeshe’sfretting。\"
\"Poorsoul！\"saidSt。Leonard。\"Weonlytookhercalfawayfromher—
—whendidwetakehercalfawayfromher？\"heaskedofJanie。
\"OnThursdaymorning，\"returnedJanie；\"thedaywesentherover。\"
\"Theyfeelitsoatfirst，\"saidSt。Leonardsympathetically。
\"Itsoundsabrutalsentiment，\"Isaid，\"butIwaswonderingifbyanychanceyouhappenedtohavebyyouonethatdidn’tfeelitquitesomuch。Isupposeamongcowsthereisnoclassthatcorrespondstowhatwetermour’SmartSet’——cowsthatdon’treallycarefortheircalves，thataregladtogetawayfromthem？\"
MissJaniesmiled。Whenshesmiled，youfeltyouwoulddomuchtoseehersmileagain。
\"Butwhynotkeepitupatyourhouse，inthepaddock，\"shesuggested，\"andhavethemilkbroughtdown？Thereisanexcellentcowshed，anditisonlyamileaway。\"
Itstruckmetherewassenseinthisidea。Ihadnotthoughtofthat。IaskedSt。LeonardwhatIowedhimforthecow。HeaskedMissJanie，andshesaidsixteenpounds。Ihadbeenwarnedthatindoingbusinesswithfarmersitwouldbenecessaryalwaystobargain；
buttherewasthataboutMissJanie’stonetellingmethatwhenshesaidsixteenpoundsshemeantsixteenpounds。IbegantoseeabrightersidetoHubertSt。Leonard’scareerasafarmer。
\"Verywell，\"Isaid；\"wewillregardthecowassettled。\"
Imadeanote：\"Cow，sixteenpounds。Havethecowshedgotready，andbuyoneofthosebigcansonwheels。\"
\"Youdon’thappentowantmilk？\"IputittoMissJanie。\"Susieseemstobegoodforaboutfivegallonsaday。I’mafraidifwedrinkitallourselveswe’llgettoofat。\"
\"Attwopencehalfpennyaquart，deliveredatthehouse，asmuchasyoulike，\"repliedMissJanie。
Imadeanoteofthatalso。\"Happentoknowausefulboy？\"IaskedMissJanie。
\"WhataboutyoungHopkins，\"suggestedherfather。
\"Theonlymalethingonthisfarm——withtheexceptionofyourself，ofcourse，fatherdear——thathasgotanysense，\"saidMissJanie。\"Hecan’thaveHopkins。\"
\"TheonlyfaultIhavetofindwithHopkins，\"saidSt。Leonard，\"isthathetalkstoomuch。\"
\"Personally，\"Isaid，\"Ishouldpreferacountrylad。Ihavecomedownheretobeinthecountry。WithHopkinsaround，Idon’tsomehowfeelitisthecountry。Imightimagineitagardencity：thatisasnearasHopkinswouldallowmetoget。Ishouldlikemyselfsomethingmoresuggestiveofruralsimplicity。\"
\"IthinkIknowthesortofthingyoumean，\"smiledMissJanie。\"Areyoufairlygood—tempered？\"
\"Icangenerally，\"Ianswered，\"confinemyselftosarcasm。Itpleasesme，andasfarasIhavebeenabletonotice，doesneitherharmnorgoodtoanyoneelse。\"
\"I’llsendyouupaboy，\"promisedMissJanie。
Ithankedher。\"Andnowwecometothedonkey。\"
\"Nathaniel，\"explainedMissJanie，inanswertoherfather’slookofenquiry。\"Wedon’treallywantit。\"
\"Janie，\"saidMr。St。Leonardinatoneofauthority，\"Iinsistuponbeinghonest。\"
\"Iwasgoingtobehonest，\"retortedMissJanie，offended。
\"MydaughterVeronicahasgivenmetounderstand，\"Isaid，\"thatifI
buyherthisdonkeyitwillbe，forher，thecommencementofanewandbetterlife。Idonotattachundueimportancetothebargain，butoneneverknows。Theinfluencesthatmakeforreformationinhumancharacteraresubtleandunexpected。Anyhow，itdoesn’tseemrighttothrowachanceaway。Addedtowhich，ithasoccurredtomethatadonkeymightbeusefulinthegarden。\"
\"Hehaslivedatmyexpenseforupwardsoftwoyears，\"repliedSt。
Leonard。\"Icannotmyselfseeanymoralimprovementhehasbroughtintomyfamily。Whateffecthemayhaveuponyourchildren，Icannotsay。Butwhenyoutalkabouthisbeingusefulinagarden——\"
\"Hedrawsacart，\"interruptedMissJanie。
\"Solongassomeonewalksbesidehimfeedinghimwithcarrots。Wetriedfixingthecarrotonapolesixinchesbeyondhisreach。Thatworksallrightinthepicture：itstartsthisdonkeykicking。\"
\"Youknowyourself，\"hecontinuedwithgrowingindignation，\"theverylasttimeyourmothertookhimoutsheusedupallhercarrotsgettingthere，withtheresultthatheandthecarthadtobehauledhomebehindatrolley。\"
Wehadreachedtheyard。Nathanielwasstandingwithhisheadstretchedoutabovetheclosedhalfofhisstabledoor。InoticedpointsofresemblancebetweenhimandVeronicaherself：therewasabouthimalikesuggestionofresignation，ofsufferingvirtuemisunderstood；hiseyehadthesamewistful，yearningexpressionwithwhichVeronicawillstandbeforethewindowgazingoutuponthepurplesunset，whilepeoplearecallingtoherfromdistantpartsofthehousetocomeandputherthingsaway。MissJanie，bendingoverhim，askedhimtokissher。Hecomplied，butwithagentle，reproachfullookthatseemedtosay，\"Whycallmebackagaintoearth？\"
Itmadememadwithhim。IwaswronginthinkingMissJanienotaprettygirl。Hersisthattypeofbeautythatescapesattentionbyitsownperfection。Itistheeccentric，thediscordant，thatarreststherovingeye。Toharmonyonehastoattuneoneself。
\"Ibelieve，\"saidMissJanie，asshedrewaway，wipinghercheek，\"onecouldteachthatdonkeyanything。\"
Apparentlysheregardedwillingnesstokissherasindicationofexceptionalamiability。
\"Excepttowork，\"commentedherfather。\"I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo，\"hesaid。\"Ifyoutakethatdonkeyoffmyhandsandpromisenottosenditbackagain，why，youcanhaveit。\"
\"Fornothing？\"demandedJaniewoefully。
\"Fornothing，\"insistedherfather。\"AndifIhaveanyargument，I’llthrowinthecart。\"
MissJaniesighedandshruggedhershoulders。ItwasarrangedthatHopkinsshoulddeliverNathanielintomykeepingsometimethenextday。Hopkins，itappeared，wastheonlypersononthefarmwhocouldmakethedonkeygo。
\"Idon’tknowwhatitis，\"saidSt。Leonard，\"buthehasawaywithhim。\"
\"Andnow，\"Isaid，\"thereremainsbutDick。\"
\"TheladIsawyesterday？\"suggestedSt。Leonard。\"Good—lookingyoungfellow。\"
\"Heisaniceboy，\"Isaid。\"Idon’treallythinkIknowanicerboythanDick；andclever，whenyoucometounderstandhim。ThereisonlyonefaultIhavetofindwithDick：Idon’tseemabletogethimtowork。\"
MissJaniewassmiling。Iaskedherwhy。
\"Iwasthinking，\"sheanswered，\"howclosetheresemblanceappearstobebetweenhimandNathaniel。\"
Itwastrue。Ihadnotthoughtofit。
\"Themistake，\"saidSt。Leonard，\"iswithourselves。Weassumeeveryboytohavethesoulofaprofessor，andeverygirlageniusformusic。WepackoffoursonstocramthemselveswithGreekandLatin，andputourdaughtersdowntostrumatthepiano。Ninetimesoutoftenitissheerwasteoftime。TheysentmetoCambridge，andsaidI
waslazy。Iwasnotlazy。IwasnotintendedbynatureforaSeniorWrangler。IdidnotseethegoodofbeingaSeniorWrangler。WhowantsaworldofSeniorWranglers？Thenwhystarteveryyoungmantrying？Iwantedtobeafarmer。Ifintelligentladsweretaughtfarmingasabusiness，farmingwouldpay。Inthenameofcommon—
sense——\"
\"Iaminclinedtoagreewithyou，\"Iinterruptedhim。\"IwouldratherseeDickagoodfarmerthanathird—ratebarrister，anyhow。
Hethinkshecouldtakeaninterestinfarming。TherearetenweeksbeforeheneedgobacktoCambridge，sufficienttimefortheexperiment。Willyoutakehimasapupil？\"
St。Leonardgraspedhisheadbetweenhishandsandhelditfirmly。
\"IfIconsent，\"hesaid，\"Imustinsistonbeinghonest\"
IsawthewoefulnessagaininJanie’seyes。
\"Ithink，\"Isaid，\"itismyturntobehonest。Ihavegotthedonkeyfornothing；IinsistonpayingforDick。Theyarewaitingforyouintherick—yard。IwillsettlethetermswithMissJanie。\"
Heregardedusbothsuspiciously。
\"Iwillpromisetobehonest，\"laughedMissJanie。
\"Ifit’smorethanI’mworth，\"hesaid，\"I’llsendhimhomeagain。
Mytheoryis——\"
Hestumbledoverapigwhich，accordingtothetime—table，oughtnottohavebeenthere。Theywentoffhurriedlytogether，thepigleading，bothscreaming。
MissJaniesaidshewouldshowmetheshortcutacrossthefields；wecouldtalkaswewent。Wewalkedinsilenceforawhile。
\"Youmustnotthink，\"shesaid，\"Ilikebeingtheonetodoallthehaggling。Ifeelalittlesoreaboutitveryoften。Butsomebody，ofcourse，mustdoit；andasforfather，poordear——\"
Ilookedather。Her’sisthebeautytowhichatouchofsadnessaddsacharm。
\"Howoldareyou？\"Iaskedher。
\"Twenty，\"sheanswered，\"nextbirthday。\"
\"Ijudgedyoutobeolder，\"Isaid。
\"Mostpeopledo，\"sheanswered。
\"MydaughterRobina，\"Isaid，\"isjustthesameage——accordingtoyears；andDickistwenty—one。Ihopeyouwillbefriendswiththem。
Theyhavegotsense，bothofthem。Itcomesouteverynowandagainandsurprisesyou。Veronica，Ithink，isnine。IamnotsurehowVeronicaisgoingtoturnout。Sometimesthingshappenthatmakeusthinkshehasabeautifulcharacter，andthenforquitelongperiodssheseemstoloseitaltogether。TheLittleMother——Idon’tknowwhywealwayscallherLittleMother——willnotjoinustillthingsaremoreship—shape。Shedoesnotliketobethoughtaninvalid，andifwehaveheraboutanywherenearworkthathastobedone，andarenotalwayswatchingher，shegetsatitandtiresherself。\"
\"Iamgladwearegoingtobeneighbours，\"saidMissJanie。\"Therearetenofusaltogether。Father，Iamsure，youwilllike；clevermenalwayslikefather。Mother’sdayisFriday。Asaruleitistheonlydaynooneevercalls。\"Shelaughed。Thecloudhadvanished。
\"Theycomeonotherdaysandfindusallinouroldclothes。OnFridayafternoonwesitinstateandnobodycomesnearus，andwehavetoeatthecakesourselves。Itmakeshersocross。YouwilltryandrememberFridays，won’tyou？\"
Imadeanoteofitthenandthere。
\"Iamtheeldest，\"shecontinued，\"asIthinkfathertoldyou。HarryandJackcamenext；butJackisinCanadaandHarrydied，sothereissomewhatofagapbetweenmeandtherest。BertieistwelveandTedeleven；theyarehomejustnowfortheholidays。Sallyiseight，andthentherecomethetwins。Peopledon’thalfbelievethetalesthataretoldabouttwins，butIamsurethereisnoneedtoexaggerate。
Theyareonlysix，buttheyhaveasenseofhumouryouwouldhardlycredit。Oneisaboy，andtheotheragirl。Theyarealwayschangingclothes，andweareneverquitesurewhichiswhich。
WilfridgetssenttobedbecauseWinniehasnotpractisedherscales，andWinnieisgivensyrupofsquillsbecauseWilfriedhasbeeneatinggreengooseberries。LastspringWinniehadthemeasles。Whenthedoctorcameonthefifthdayhewasaspleasedaspunch；hesaiditwasthequickestcurehehadeverknown，andthatreallytherewasnoreasonwhyshemightnotgetup。Wehadoursuspicions，andtheywereright。Winniewashidinginthecupboard，wrappedupinablanket。Theydon’tseemtomindwhattroubletheygetinto，provideditisn’ttheirown。Theonlysafeplan，unlessyouhappentocatchthemred—handed，istodividethepunishmentbetweenthem，andleavethemtosettleaccountsbetweenthemselvesafterwards。
Algyisfour；tilllastyearhewasalwayscalledthebaby。Now，ofcourse，thereisnoexcuse；butthenamestillclingstohiminspiteofhisindignantprotestations。Fathercalledupstairstohimtheotherday：’Baby，bringmedownmygaiters。’Hewalkedstraightuptothecradleandwokeupthebaby。’Getup，’Iheardhimsay——Iwasjustoutsidethedoor——’andtakeyourfatherdownhisgaiters。Don’tyouhearhimcallingyou？’Heisadrolllittlefellow。FathertookhimtoOxfordlastSaturday。Heissmallforhisage。Theticket—
collector，quitecontented，threwhimaglance，andmerelyasamatterofformaskedifhewasunderthree。’No，’heshoutedbeforefathercouldreply；’I’sistsonbeinghonest。I’sefour。’Itisfather’spetphrase。\"
\"Whatviewdoyoutakeoftheexchange，\"Iaskedher，\"fromstockbrokingwithitslargerincometofarmingwithitssmaller？\"
\"Perhapsitwasselfish，\"sheanswered，\"butIamafraidIratherencouragedfather。Itseemstomemean，makingyourlivingoutofworkthatdoesnogoodtoanyone。Ihatethebargaining，butthefarmingitselfIlove。Ofcourse，itmeanshavingonlyoneeveningdressayearandmakingthatmyself。ButevenwhenIhadalotI
alwayspreferredwearingtheonethatIthoughtsuitedmethebest。
Asforthechildren，theyareashealthyasyoungsavages，andeverythingtheywanttomakethemhappyisjustoutsidethedoor。
Theboyswon’tgotocollege；butseeingtheywillhavetoearntheirownliving，that，perhaps，isjustaswell。Itismother，poordear，thatworriesso。\"Shelaughedagain。\"Herfavouritewalkistotheworkhouse。ShecamebackquiteexcitedtheotherdaybecauseshehadheardtheGuardiansintendtotrytheexperimentofbuildingseparatehousesforoldmarriedcouples。Sheisconvincedsheandfatheraregoingtoendtheirdaysthere。\"
\"You，asthebusinesspartner，\"Iaskedher，\"arehopefulthatthefarmwillpay？\"
\"Oh，yes，\"sheanswered，\"itwillpayallright——itdoespay，forthematterofthat。Weliveonitandlivecomfortably。But，ofcourse，Icanseemother’spointofview，withsevenyoungchildrentobringup。Anditisnotonlythat。\"Shestoppedherselfabruptly。\"Oh，well，\"shecontinuedwithalaugh，\"youhavegottoknowus。Fatheristrying。Helovesexperiments，andawomanhatesexperiments。
Lastyearitwasbarefeet。Idaresayitishealthier。Butchildrenwhohavebeenaboutinbarefeetallthemorning——well，itisn’tpleasantwhentheysitdowntolunch；Idon’tcarewhatyousay。Youcan’tbealwayswashing。Heissounpractical。Hewasquiteangrywithmotherandmyselfbecausewewouldn’t。Andamaninbarefeetlookssoridiculous。Thissummeritisshorthairandnohats；andSallyhadsuchprettyhair。Nextyearitwillbesabotsorturbans——
somethingorothersuggestingtheideathatwe’velatelyescapedfromafair。OnMondaysandThursdayswetalkFrench。WehavegotaFrenchnurse；andthosearetheonlydaysintheweekonwhichshedoesn’tunderstandawordthat’ssaidtoher。Wecannoneofusunderstandfather，andthatmakeshimfurious。Hewon’tsayitinEnglish；hemakesanoteofit，meaningtotellusonTuesdayorFriday，andthen，ofcourse，heforgets，andwonderswhywehaven’tdoneit。He’sthedearestfellowalive。WhenIthinkofhimasabigboy，thenheischarming，andifhereallywereonlyabigboytherearetimeswhenIwouldshakehimandfeelbetterforit。\"
Shelaughedagain。Iwantedhertogoontalking，becauseherlaughwassodelightful。Butwehadreachedtheroad，andshesaidshemustgoback：thereweresomanythingsshehadtodo。
\"WehavenotsettledaboutDick，\"Iremindedher。
\"Mothertookratheralikingtohim，\"shemurmured。
\"IfDickcouldmakealiving，\"Isaid，\"bygettingpeopletolikehim，Ishouldnotbesoanxiousabouthisfuture——lazyyoungdevil！\"
\"Hehaspromisedtoworkhardifyoulethimtakeupfarming，\"saidMissJanie。
\"Hehasbeentalkingtoyou？\"Isaid。
Sheadmittedit。
\"Hewillbeginwell，\"Isaid。\"Iknowhim。Inamonthhewillhavetiredofit，andbeclamouringtodosomethingelse。\"
\"Ishallbeverydisappointedinhimifhedoes，\"shesaid。
\"Iwilltellhimthat，\"Isaid，\"itmayhelp。Peopledon’tlikeotherpeopletobedisappointedinthem。\"
\"Iwouldratheryoudidn’t，\"shesaid。\"Youcouldsaythatfatherwillbedisappointedinhim。Fatherformedratheragoodopinionofhim，Iknow。\"
\"Iwilltellhim，\"Isuggested，\"thatweshallallbedisappointedinhim。\"
Sheagreedtothat，andweparted。Iremembered，whenshewasgone，thatafterallwehadnotsettledterms。
Dickovertookmealittlewayfromhome。
\"Ihavesettledyourbusiness，\"Itoldhim。
\"It’sawfullygoodofyou，\"saidDick。
\"Mind，\"Icontinued，\"it’sontheunderstandingthatyouthrowyourselfintothethingandworkhard。Ifyoudon’t，Ishallbedisappointedinyou，Itellyousofrankly。\"
\"That’sallright，governor，\"heansweredcheerfully。\"Don’tyouworry。\"
\"Mr。St。Leonardwillalsobedisappointedinyou，Dick，\"Iinformedhim。\"Hehasformedaveryhighopinionofyou。Don’tgivehimcausetochangeit。\"
\"I’llgetonallrightwithhim，\"answeredDick。\"Jollyoldduffer，ain’the？\"
\"MissJaniewillalsobedisappointedinyou，\"Iadded。
\"Didshesaythat？\"heasked。
\"Shementioneditcasually，\"Iexplained：\"thoughnowIcometothinkofitsheaskedmenottosayso。Whatshewantedmetoimpressuponyouwasthatherfatherwouldbedisappointedinyou。\"
Dickwalkedbesidemeinsilenceforawhile。
\"SorryI’vebeenaworrytoyou，dad，\"hesaidatlast\"Gladtohearyousayso，\"Ireplied。
\"I’mgoingtoturnoveranewleaf，dad，\"hesaid。\"I’mgoingtoworkhard。\"
\"Abouttime，\"Isaid。
CHAPTERVI
Wehadcoldbaconforlunchthatday。Therewasnotmuchofit。I
tookittobethebaconwehadnoteatenforbreakfast。Butonacleandishwithparsleyitlookedratherneat。Itdidnotsuggest，however，alunchforfourpeople，twoofwhomhadbeenoutallthemorningintheopenair。TherewassomeexcuseforDick。
\"Ineverheardbefore，\"saidDick，\"ofcoldfriedbaconasahorsd’oeuvre。\"
\"Itisnotahorsd’oeuvre，\"explainedRobina。\"Itisallthereisforlunch。\"Shespokeinthequiet，passionlessvoiceofonewhohasdonewithallhumanemotion。Sheaddedthatsheshouldnotberequiringanyherself，shehavinglunchedalready。
Veronica，conveyingbyhertoneandbearingtheimpressionofsomethingmidwaybetweenaperfectladyandaChristianmartyr，observedthatshealsohadlunched。
\"WishIhad，\"growledDick。
Igavehimawarningkick。Icouldseehewasonthewaytogettinghimselfintotrouble。AsIexplainedtohimafterwards，awomanismostdangerouswhenathermeekest。Aman，whenhefeelshistemperrising，takeseveryopportunityoflettingitescape。Troubleatsuchtimeshewelcomes。Abrokenboot—lace，orashirtwithoutabutton，istohimthenaswaterinthedesert。Anonlycollar—studthatwilldisappearasifbymagicfrombetweenhisthumbandfingerandvanishapparentlyintothinairisapieceofgoodfortunesentontheseoccasionsonlytothosewhomthegodslove。Bythetimehehaswaddledonhishandsandkneestwiceroundtheroom，brokentheboot—jackrakingwithitunderneaththewardrobe，beenbumpedandslappedandkickedbyeverypieceoffurniturethattheroomcontains，andendedupbysteppingonthatstudandtreadingitflat，hehasnotabitteroranangrythoughtleftinhim。Allthatremainsofhimissweetandpeaceful。Hefastenshiscollarwithasafety—pin，humminganoldsongthewhile。
FailingthegiftsofProvidence，thechildren——ifinhealth——cangenerallybedependedupontoaffordhimanopening。Soonerorlateroneoranotherofthemwilldosomethingthatnochild，whenhewasaboy，wouldhavedared——ordreamedofdaring——toevensomuchasthinkofdoing。Thechild，conveyingbyexpressionthattheworld，itisgladtosay，isslowlybutsteadilygrowinginsense，andpityitisthatold—fashionedfolkscan’tbustleupandkeepabreastofit，pointsoutthatfirstlyithasnotdonethisthing，thatforvariousreasons——afewonlyofwhichneedbedweltupon——itisimpossibleitcouldhavedonethisthing；thatsecondlyithasbeenexpresslyrequestedtodothisthing，thatwishfulalwaystogivesatisfaction，ithas——atsacrificeofallitsownideas——goneoutofitswaytodothisthing；thatthirdlyitcan’thelpdoingthisthing，striveagainstfateasitwill。
Hesayshedoesnotwanttohearwhatthechildhasgottosayonthesubject——noronanyothersubject，neitherthennoratanyothertime。Hesaysthere’sgoingtobeanewdepartureinthishouse，andthatthingsallroundaregoingtobeverydifferent。Hesuddenlyrememberseveryruleandregulationhehasmadeduringthepasttenyearsfortheguidanceofeverybody，andthateverybody，himselfincluded，hasforgotten。Hetriestotalkaboutthemallatonce，inhastelestheshouldforgetthemagain。Bythetimehehassucceededingettinghimself，ifnobodyelse，tounderstandhimself，thechildrenareswarmingroundhiskneesextractingfromhimpromisesthatinhissobermomentshewillbesorrythathemade。
Iknewawoman——awiseandgoodwomanshewas——whowhenshenoticedthatherhusband’stemperwascausinghimannoyance，tookpainstohelphimtogetridofit。TorelievehissufferingsIhaveknownhersearchthehouseforalastmonth’smorningpaperand，ironingitsmooth，layitwarmandneatlyfoldedonhisbreakfastplate。
\"Onethinginthisworldtobethankfulfor，atallevents，andthatisthatwedon’tliveinDitchley—in—the—Marsh，\"hewouldgrowltenminuteslaterfromtheothersideofit。
\"Soundsabitdamp，\"thegoodwomanwouldreply。
\"Damp！\"hewouldgrunt，\"whomindsabitofdamp！Goodforyou。
MakesusEnglishmenwhatweare。Beingmurderedinone’sbedaboutonceaweekiswhatIshouldobjectto。\"
\"Dotheydomuchofthatsortofthingdownthere？\"thegoodwomanwouldenquire。
\"Seemstobethechiefindustryoftheplace。Doyoumeantosayyoudon’trememberthatoldmaidenladybeingmurderedbyherowngardenerandburiedinthefowl—run？Youwomen！youtakenointerestinpublicaffairs。\"
\"Idoremembersomethingaboutit，nowyoumentionit，dear，\"thegoodwomanwouldconfess。\"Alwaysseemssuchaninnocenttypeofman，agardener。\"
\"SeemstobeaspecialbreedofthematDitchley—in—the—Marsh，\"heanswers。\"HereagainlastMonday，\"hecontinues，readingwithgrowinginterest。\"Almostthesamecase——eventothepruningknife。
Yes，hangedifhedoesn’t！——buriesherinthefowl—run。Thisismostextraordinary。\"
\"Itmustbetheimitativeinstinctassertingitself，\"suggeststhegoodwoman。\"Asyou，dear，havesooftenpointedout，onecrimemakesanother。\"
\"Ihavealwayssaidso，\"heagrees；\"ithasalwaysbeenatheoryofmine。\"
Hefoldsthepaperover。\"Dulldogs，thesepoliticalchaps！\"hesays。\"Here’stheDukeofDevonshire，speakinglastnightatHackney，beginsbytellingafunnystoryhesayshehasjustheardaboutaparrot。Why，it’sthesamestorysomebodytoldamonthago；
Irememberreadingit。Yes——uponmysoul——wordforword，I’dsweartoit。Showsyouthesortofmenwe’regovernedby。\"
\"Youcan’texpecteveryone，dear，topossessyourrepertoire，\"thegoodwomanremarks。
\"Needn’tsayhe’sjusthearditthatafternoon，anyhow，\"respondsthegoodman。
Heturnstoanothercolumn。\"Whatthedevil！AmIgoingoffmyhead？\"Hepouncesontheeldestboy。\"WhenwastheOxfordandCambridgeBoat—race？\"hefiercelydemands。
\"TheOxfordandCambridgeBoat—race！\"repeatstheastonishedyouth。
\"Why，it’sover。Youtookusalltoseeit，lastmonth。TheSaturdaybefore——\"
Theconversationforthenexttenminutesheconductshimself，unaided。Attheendheistired，maybeatriflehoarse。Butallhisbadtemperisgone。Hissorrowistherewasnotsufficientofit。
Hecouldhavedonewithmore。
Womanknowsnothingofsimplemechanics。Awomanthinksyoucangetridofsteambyboxingitupandsittingonthesafety—valve。
\"FeelingasIdothismorning，thatI’dliketowringeverybody’sneckforthem，\"theaveragewomanarguestoherself；\"mypropercourse——Iseeitclearly——istocreepaboutthehouse，askingofeveryonethathasthetimetosparetotrampleonme。\"
Shecoaxesyoutotellherofherfaults。Whenyouhavefinishedsheasksformore——remindsyouofoneortwoyouhadmissedout。Shewonderswhyitisthatsheisalwayswrong。Theremustbeareasonforit；ifonlyshecoulddiscoverit。Shewondershowitisthatpeoplecanputupwithher——thinksitsogoodofthem。
Atlast，ofcourse，theexplosionhappens。Theawkwardthingisthatneithersheherselfnoranyoneelseknowswhenitiscoming。A
husbandcorneredmeoneeveningintheclub。Itevidentlydidhimgoodtotalk。Hetoldmethat，findinghiswifethatmorninginoneofherrarelisteningmoods，hehadseizedtheopportunitytomentiononeortwomattersinconnectionwiththehousehewouldliketohavealtered；thatwas，ifshehadnoobjection。Shehad——quitepleasantly——remindedhimthehousewashis，thathewasmasterthere。
