507
TheForeandAftwaited，leaningupontheirriflesandlisteningtotheprotestsoftheiremptystomachs。TheColoneldidhisbesttoremedythedefaultofliningassoonasitwasborneinuponhimthattheaffairwouldnotbeginatonce，andsowelldidhesucceedthatthecoffeewasjustreadywhen-themenmovedoff，theirBandleading。Eventhentherehadbeenamistakeintime，andtheForeandAftcameoutintothevalleytenminutesbeforetheproperhour。TheirBandwheeledtotherightafterreachingtheopen，andretiredbehindalittlerockyknollstillplayingwhiletheRegimentwentpast。
Itwasnotapleasantsightthatopenedontheuninstructedview，forthelowerendofthevalleyappearedtobefilledbyanarmyinposition-realandactualregimentsattiredinredcoats，and-ofthistherewasnodoubt-firingMartini-Henrybulletswhichcutupthegroundahundredyardsinfrontoftheleadingcompany。
Overthatpock-markedgroundtheRegimenthadtopass，anditopenedtheballwithageneralandprofoundcourtesytothepipingpickets；duckinginperfecttime，asthoughithadbeenbrazedonarod。Beinghalfcapableofthinkingforitself，itfiredavolleybythesimpleprocessofpitchingitsrifleintoitsshoulderandpullingthetrigger。Thebulletsmayhaveaccountedforsomeofthewatchersonthehillside，buttheycertainlydidnotaffectthemassofenemyinfront，whilethenoiseoftheriflesdrownedanyordersthatmighthavebeengiven。
\"GoodGod！\"saidtheBrigadier，sittingontherockhighaboveall。\"ThatRegimenthasspoiltthewholeshow。Hurryuptheothers，andletthescrew-gunsgetoff。\"
Butthescrew-guns，inworkingroundtheheights，hadstumbleduponawasp’snestofasmallmudfortwhichtheyincontinentlyshelledateighthundredyards，tothehugediscomfortoftheoccupants，whowereunaccustomedtoweaponsofsuchdevilishprecision。
TheForeandAftcontinuedtogoforward，butwithshortenedstride。Whereweretheotherregiments，andwhydidtheseniggersuseMartinis？Theytookopenorderinstinctively，lyingdownandfiringatrandom，rushingafewpacesforwardandlyingdownagain，accordingtotheregulations。Onceinthisformation，eachmanfelthimselfdesperatelyalone，andedgedintowardshisfellowforcomfort’ssake。
Thenthecrackofhisneighbor’srifleathisearledhimtofireasrapidlyashecould-againforthesakeofthecomfortofthenoise。Therewardwasnotlongdelayed。Fivevolleysplungedthefilesinbankedsmokeimpenetrabletotheeye，andthebulletsbegantotakegroundtwentyorthirtyyardsinfrontofthefirers，astheweightofthebayonetdraggeddownandtotherightarmsweariedwithholdingthekickoftheleapingMartini。TheCompanyCommanderspeeredhelplesslythroughthesmoke，themorenervousmechanicallytryingtofanitawaywiththeirhelmets。
\"Highandtotheleft！\"bawledaCaptaintillhewashoarse。\"Nogood！Ceasefiring，andletitdriftawayabit。\"
Threeandfourtimesthebuglesshriekedtheorder，andwhenitwasobeyedtheForeandAftlookedthattheirfoeshouldbelyingbeforetheminmownswathsofmen。Alightwinddrovethesmoketoleeward，andshowedtheenemystillinpositionandapparentlyunaffected。Aquarterofatonofleadhadbeenburiedafurlonginfrontofthem，astheraggedearthattested。
ThatwasnotdemoralizingtotheAfghans，whohavenotEuropeannerves。Theywerewaitingforthemadriottodiedown，andwerefiringquietlyintotheheartofthesmoke。AprivateoftheForeandAftspunuphiscompanyshriekingwithagony，anotherwaskickingtheearthandgasping，andathird，rippedthroughthelowerintestinesbyajaggedbullet，wascallingaloudonhiscomradestoputhimoutofhispain。Thesewerethecasualties，andtheywerenotsoothingtohearorsee。Thesmokeclearedtoadullhaze。
Thenthefoebegantoshoutwithagreatshouting，andamass-ablackmass-detacheditselffromthemainbody，androlledoverthegroundathorridspeed。Itwascomposedof，perhaps，threehundredmen，whowouldshoutandfireandslashiftherushoftheirfiftycomradeswhoweredeterminedtodiecarriedhome。ThefiftywereGhazis，halfmaddenedwithdrugsandwhollymadwithreligiousfanaticism。WhentheyrushedtheBritishfireceased，andinthelulltheorderwasgiventocloseranksandmeetthemwiththebayonet。
AnyonewhoknewthebusinesscouldhavetoldtheForeandAftthattheonlywayofdealingwithaGhazirushisbyvolleysatlongranges；becauseamanwhomeanstodie，whodesirestodie，whowillgainheavenbydying，must，inninecasesoutoften，killamanwhohasalingeringprejudiceinfavouroflife。Wheretheyshouldhaveclosedandgoneforward，theForeandAftopenedoutandskirmished，andwheretheyshouldhaveopenedoutandfired，theyclosedandwaited。
Amandraggedfromhisblanketshalfawakeandunfedisneverinapleasantframeofmind。Nordoeshishappinessincreasewhenhewatchesthewhitesoftheeyesofthreehundredsix-footfiendsuponwhosebeardsthefoamislying，uponwhosetonguesisaroarofwrath，andinwhosehandsareyard-longknives。
TheForeandAftheardtheGoorkhabuglesbringingthatregimentforwardatthedouble，whiletheneighingoftheHighlandpipescamefromtheleft。Theystrovetostaywheretheywere，thoughthebayonetswavereddownthelineliketheoarsofaraggedboat。
Thentheyfeltbodytobodytheamazingphysicalstrengthoftheirfoes；ashriekofpainendedtherush，andtheknivesfellamidscenesnottobetold。Themenclubbedtogetherandsmoteblindly-asoftenasnotattheirownfellows。Theirfrontcrumpledlikepaper，andthefiftyGhazispassedon；theirbackers，nowdrunkwithsuccess，fightingasmadlyasthey。
Thentherearrankswerebiddentocloseup，andthesubalternsdashedintothestew-alone。Fortherear-rankshadheardtheclamourinfront，theyellsandthehowlsofpain，andhadseenthedarkstalebloodthatmakesafraid。Theywerenotgoingtostay。Itwastherushingofthecampsoveragain。LettheirofficersgotoHell，iftheychose；theywouldgetawayfromtheknives。
\"Comeon！\"shriekedthesubalterns，andtheirmen，cursingthem，drewback，eachclosingintohisneighbourandwheelinground。
CharterisandDevlin，subalternsofthelastcompany，facedtheirdeathaloneinthebeliefthattheirmenwouldfollow。
\"You’vekilledme，youcowards，\"sobbedDevlinanddropped，cutfromtheshoulder-straptothecentreofthechest；andafreshdetachmentofhismenretreating，alwaysretreating，trampledhimunderfootastheymadeforthepasswhencetheyhademerged。
IkissedherinthekitchenandIkissedherinthehallChild’un，child’un，followme！
OhGolly，saidthecook，ishegwinetokissusall？
Halla-Halla-Halla-Hallelujah！
TheGoorkhaswerepouringthroughtheleftgorgeandovertheheightsatthedoubletotheinvitationoftheirRegimentalQuick-
step。Theblackrockswerecrownedwithdarkgreenspidersasthebuglesgavetonguejubilantly：-
Inthemorning！Inthemorningbythebrightlight！
WhenGabrielblowshistrumpetinthemorning！
TheGoorkharearcompaniestrippedandblunderedoverloosestones。Thefrontfileshaltedforamomenttotakestockofthevalleyandtosettlestrayboot-laces。Thenahappylittlesighofcontentmentsougheddowntheranks，anditwasasthoughthelandsmiled，forbeholdtherebelowwastheenemy，anditwastomeetthemthattheGoorkhashaddoubledsohastily。Therewasmuchenemy。Therewouldbeamusement。Thelittlemenhitchedtheirkukriswelltohand，andgapedexpectantlyattheirofficersasterriersgrinerethestoneiscastforthemtofetch。TheGoorkhas’groundslopeddownwardtothevalley，andtheyenjoyedafairviewoftheproceedings。Theysatupontheboulderstowatch，fortheirofficerswerenotgoingtowastetheirwindinassistingtorepulseaGhazirushmorethanhalfamileaway。Letthewhitemenlooktotheirownfront。
\"Hi！yi！\"saidtheSubadar-Major，whowassweatingprofusely。
\"Damfoolsyonder，standcloseorder！Thisisnotimeforcloseorder，itisthetimeforvolleys。Ugh！\"
Horrified，amused，andindignant，theGoorkhasbeheldtheretirementoftheForeandAftwitharunningchorusofoathsandcommentaries。
\"Theyrun！Thewhitemenrun！ColonelSahib，maywealsodoalittlerunning？\"murmuredRunbirThappa，theSeniorJemadar。
ButtheColonelwouldhavenoneofit。\"Letthebeggarsbecutupalittle，\"saidhewrathfully。\"Serves’emright。They’llbeproddedintofacingroundinaminute。\"Helookedthroughhisfield-glasses，andcaughttheglintofanofficer’ssword。
\"Beating’emwiththeflat-damnedconscripts！HowtheGhazisarewalkingintothem！\"saidhe。
TheForeandAft，headingback，borewiththemtheirofficers。Thenarrownessofthepassforcedthemobintosolidformation，andtherearranksdeliveredsomesortofawaveringvolley。TheGhazisdrewoff，fortheydidnotknowwhatreservethegorgemighthide。Moreover，itwasneverwisetochasewhitementoofar。Theyreturnedaswolvesreturntocover，satisfiedwiththeslaughterthattheyhaddone，andonlystoppingtoslashatthewoundedontheground。AquarterofamilehadtheForeandAftretreated，andnow，jammedinthepass，wasquiveringwithpain，shakenanddemoralisedwithfear，whiletheofficers，maddenedbeyondcontrol，smotethemenwiththehiltsandtheflatsoftheirswords。
\"Getback！Getback，youcowards-youwomen！Rightaboutface-
columnofcompanies，form-youhounds！\"shoutedtheColonel，andthesubalternssworealoud。ButtheRegimentwantedtogo-togoanywhereoutoftherangeofthosemercilessknives。Itswayedtoandfroirresolutelywithshoutsandoutcries，whilefromtherighttheGoorkhasdroppedvolleyaftervolleyofcripple-stopperSniderbulletsatlongrangeintothemoboftheGhazisreturningtotheirowntroops。
TheForeandAftBand，thoughprotectedfromdirectfirebytherockyknollunderwhichithadsatdown，fledatthefirstrush。
JakinandLewwouldhavefledalso，buttheirshortlegsleftthemfiftyyardsintherear，andbythetimetheBandhadmixedwiththeRegiment，theywerepainfullyawarethattheywouldhavetocloseinaloneandunsupported。
\"Getbacktothatrock，\"gaspedJakin。\"Theywon’tseeusthere。\"
AndtheyreturnedtothescatteredinstrumentsoftheBand，theirheartsnearlyburstingtheirribs。
\"Here’saniceshowforus，\"saidJakin，throwinghimselffulllengthontheground。\"Abloomin’fineshowforBritishInfantry！
Oh，thedevils！They’vegoneandleftusalonehere！Wot’llwedo？\"
Lewtookpossessionofacast-offwater-bottle，whichnaturallywasfullofcanteenrum，anddranktillhecoughedagain。
\"Drink，\"saidheshortly。\"They’llcomebackinaminuteortwo-
yousee。\"
Jakindrank，buttherewasnosignoftheRegiment’sreturn。Theycouldhearadullclamourfromtheheadofthevalleyofretreat，andsawtheGhazisslinkback，quickeningtheirpaceastheGoorkhasfiredatthem。
\"We’reallthat’sleftoftheBand，an’we’llbecutupassureasdeath，\"saidJakin。
\"I’lldiegame，then，\"saidLewthickly，fumblingwithhistinydrummer’ssword。ThedrinkwasworkingonhisbrainasitwasonJakin’s。
\"’Oldon！Iknowsomethingbetterthanfightin’，\"saidJakin，stungbythesplendourofasuddenthoughtduechieflytorum。
\"Tipourbloomin’cowardsyonderthewordtocomeback。ThePaythanbeggarsarewellaway。Comeon，Lew！Wewon’tgethurt。Takethefifean’givemethedrum。TheOldStepforallyourbloomin’gutsareworth！There’safewofourmencomingbacknow。Standup，yedrunkenlittledefaulter。Byyourright-quickmarch！\"
Heslippedthedrum-slingoverhisshoulder，thrustthefifeintoLew’shand，andthetwoboysmarchedoutofthecoveroftherockintotheopen，makingahideoushashofthefirstbarsofthe\"BritishGrenadiers。\"
AsLewhadsaid，afewoftheForeandAftwerecomingbacksullenlyandshamefacedlyunderthestimulusofblowsandabuse；
theirredcoatsshoneattheheadofthevalley，andbehindthemwerewaveringbayonets。Butbetweenthisshatteredlineandtheenemy，whowithAfghansuspicionfearedthatthehastyretreatmeantanambush，andhadnotmovedtherefore，layhalfamileoflevelgrounddottedonlybythewounded。
Thetunesettledintofullswingandtheboyskeptshouldertoshoulder，Jakinbangingthedrumasonepossessed。Theonefifemadeathinandpitifulsqueaking，butthetunecarriedfar，eventotheGoorkhas。
\"Comeon，youdogs！\"mutteredJakintohimself。\"Arewetoplayforhever？\"Lewwasstaringstraightinfrontofhimandmarchingmorestifflythaneverhehaddoneonparade。
Andinbittermockeryofthedistantmob，theoldtuneoftheOldLineshrilledandrattled：-
SometalkofAlexander，AndsomeofHercules；
OfHectorandLysander，Andsuchgreatnamesasthese！
Therewasafar-offclappingofhandsfromtheGoorkhas，andaroarfromtheHighlandersinthedistance，butneverashotwasfiredbyBritishorAfghan。Thetwolittlereddotsmovedforwardintheopenparalleltotheenemy’sfront。
Butofalltheworld’sgreatheroesThere’snonethatcancompare，Withatow-row-row-row-row-row，TotheBritishGrenadier！
ThemenoftheForeandAftweregatheringthickattheentranceintotheplain。TheBrigadierontheheightsfarabovewasspeechlesswithrage。Stillnomovementfromtheenemy。Thedaystayedtowatchthechildren。
JakinhaltedandbeatthelongrolloftheAssembly，whilethefifesquealeddespairingly。
\"Rightaboutface！Holdup，Lew，you’redrunk，\"saidJakin。Theywheeledandmarchedback：-
hoseheroesofantiquityNe’ersawacannon-ball，Norknewtheforceo’powder，\"Heretheycome！\"saidJakin。\"Goon，Lew\"：-
Toscaretheirfoeswithal！
TheForeandAftwerepouringoutofthevalley。Whatofficershadsaidtomeninthattimeofshameandhumiliationwillneverbeknown；forneitherofficersnormenspeakofitnow。
\"Theyarecominganew！\"shoutedapriestamongtheAfghans。\"Donotkilltheboys！Takethemalive，andtheyshallbeofourfaith。\"
Butthefirstvolleyhadbeenfired，andLewdroppedonhisface。
Jakinstoodforaminute，spunroundandcollapsed，astheForeandAftcameforward，thecursesoftheirofficersintheirears，andintheirheartstheshameofopenshame。
Halfthemenhadseenthedrummersdie，andtheymadenosign。Theydidnotevenshout。Theydoubledoutstraightacrosstheplaininopenorder，andtheydidnotfire。
\"This，\"saidtheColonelofGoorkhas，softly，\"istherealattack，asitshouldhavebeendelivered。Comeon，mychildren。\"
\"Ulu-lu-lu-lu！\"squealedtheGoorkhas，andcamedownwithajoyfulclickingofkukris-thoseviciousGoorkhaknives。
Ontherighttherewasnorush。TheHighlanders，cannilycommendingtheirsoulstoGod（foritmattersasmuchtoadeadmanwhetherhehasbeenshotinaBorderscuffleoratWaterloo），openedoutandfiredaccordingtotheircustom，thatistosaywithoutheatandwithoutintervals，whilethescrew-guns，havingdisposedoftheimpertinentmudfortaforementioned，droppedshellaftershellintotheclustersroundtheflickeringgreenstandardsontheheights。
\"Charrgingisanunfortunatenecessity，\"murmuredtheColour-
SergeantoftherightcompanyoftheHighlanders。\"Itmakesthemensweerso，butIamthinkin’thatitwillcometoacharrgeiftheseblackdevilsstandmuchlonger。Stewarrt，man，you’refiringintotheeyeofthesun，andhe’llnottakeanyharmforGovernmentammuneetion。Afootlowerandagreatdealslower！WhataretheEnglishdoing？They’reveryquiet，thereinthecenter。
Runningagain？\"
TheEnglishwerenotrunning。Theywerehackingandhewingandstabbing，forthoughonewhitemanisseldomphysicallyamatchforanAfghaninasheepskinorwaddedcoat，yet，throughthepressureofmanywhitemenbehind，andacertainthirstforrevengeinhisheart，hebecomescapableofdoingmuchwithbothendsofhisrifle。TheForeandAftheldtheirfiretillonebulletcoulddrivethroughfiveorsixmen，andthefrontoftheAfghanforcegaveonthevolley。Theythenselectedtheirmen，andslewthemwithdeepgaspsandshorthackingcoughs，andgroaningsofleatherbeltsagainststrainedbodies，andrealisedforthefirsttimethatanAfghanattackedisfarlessformidablethananAfghanattacking；whichfactoldsoldiersmighthavetoldthem。
Buttheyhadnooldsoldiersintheirranks。
TheGoorkhas’stallatthebazarwasthenoisiest，forthemenwereengaged-toanastynoiseasofbeefbeingcutontheblock-withthekukri，whichtheypreferredtothebayonet；wellknowinghowtheAfghanhatesthehalf-moonblade。
AstheAfghanswavered，thegreenstandardsonthemountainmoveddowntoassisttheminalastrally。Thiswasunwise。TheLancers，chafingintherightgorge，hadthricedespatchedtheironlysubalternasgallopertoreportontheprogressofaffairs。Onthethirdoccasionhereturned，withabullet-grazeonhisknee，swearingstrangeoathsinHindustani，andsayingthatallthingswereready。SothatsquadronswungroundtherightoftheHighlanderswithawickedwhistlingofwindinthepennonsofitslances，andfellupontheremnantjustwhen，accordingtoalltherulesofwar，itshouldhavewaitedforthefoetoshowmoresignsofwavering。
Butitwasadaintycharge，deftlydelivered，anditendedbytheCavalryfindingitselfattheheadofthepassbywhichtheAfghansintendedtoretreat；anddownthetrackthatthelanceshadmadestreamedtwocompaniesoftheHighlanders，whichwasneverintendedbytheBrigadier。Thenewdevelopmentwassuccessful。Itdetachedtheenemyfromhisbaseasaspongeistornfromarock，andlefthimringedaboutwithfireinthatpitilessplain。Andasaspongeischasedroundthebath-tubbythehandofthebather，soweretheAfghanschasedtilltheybrokeintolittledetachmentsmuchmoredifficulttodisposeofthanlargemasses。
\"See！\"quoththeBrigadier。\"EverythinghascomeasIarranged。
We’vecuttheirbase，andnowwe’llbucket’emtopieces。\"
AdirecthammeringwasallthattheBrigadierhaddaredtohopefor，consideringthesizeoftheforceathisdisposal；butmenwhostandorfallbytheerrorsoftheiropponentsmaybeforgivenforturningChanceintoDesign。Thebucketingwentforwardmerrily。TheAfghanforceswereupontherun-therunofweariedwolveswhosnarlandbiteovertheirshoulders。Theredlancesdippedbytwosandthrees，and，withashriek，uprosethelance-
butt，likeasparonastormysea，asthetroopercanteringforwardclearedhispoint。TheLancerskeptbetweentheirpreyandthesteephills，forallwhocouldweretryingtoescapefromthevalleyofdeath。TheHighlandersgavethefugitivestwohundredyards’law，andthenbroughtthemdown，gaspingandchokingeretheycouldreachtheprotectionofthebouldersabove。TheGoorkhasfollowedsuit；buttheForeandAftwerekillingontheirownaccount，fortheyhadpennedamassofmenbetweentheirbayonetsandawallofrock，andtheflashoftherifleswaslightingthewaddedcoats。
\"Wecannotholdthem，CaptainSahib！\"pantedaRessaidarofLancers。\"Letustrythecarbine。Thelanceisgood，butitwastestime。\"
Theytriedthecarbine，andstilltheenemymeltedaway-fledupthehillsbyhundredswhentherewereonlytwentybulletstostopthem。Ontheheightsthescrew-gunsceasedfiring-theyhadrunoutofammunition-andtheBrigadiergroaned，forthemusketryfirecouldnotsufficientlysmashtheretreat。Longbeforethelastvolleyswerefired，thedoolieswereoutinforcelookingforthewounded。Thebattlewasover，and，butforwantoffreshtroops，theAfghanswouldhavebeenwipedofftheearth。Asitwas，theycountedtheirdeadbyhundreds，andnowherewerethedeadthickerthaninthetrackoftheForeandAft。
ButtheRegimentdidnotcheerwiththeHighlanders，nordidtheydanceuncouthdanceswiththeGoorkhasamongthedead。TheylookedundertheirbrowsattheColonelastheyleanedupontheirriflesandpanted。
\"Getbacktocamp，you。Haven’tyoudisgracedyourselfenoughforoneday！Goandlooktothewounded。It’sallyou’refitfor，\"
saidtheColonel。YetforthepasthourtheForeandAfthadbeendoingallthatmortalcommandercouldexpect。Theyhadlostheavilybecausetheydidnotknowhowtosetabouttheirbusinesswithproperskill，buttheyhadbornethemselvesgallantly，andthiswastheirreward。
AyoungandsprightlyColour-Sergeant，whohadbeguntoimaginehimselfahero，offeredhiswater-bottletoaHighlanderwhosetonguewasblackwiththirst。\"Idrinkwithnocowards，\"answeredtheyoungsterhuskily，and，turningtoaGoorkha，said，\"Hya，Johnny！Drinkwatergotit？\"TheGoorkhagrinnedandpassedhisbottle。TheForeandAftsaidnoword。
Theywentbacktocampwhenthefieldofstrifehadbeenalittlemoppedupandmadepresentable，andtheBrigadier，whosawhimselfaKnightinthreemonths，wastheonlysoulwhowascomplimentarytothem。TheColonelwasheartbroken，andtheofficersweresavageandsullen。
\"Well，\"saidtheBrigadier，\"theyareyoungtroops，ofcourse，anditwasnotunnaturalthattheyshouldretireindisorderforabit。\"
\"Oh，myonlyAuntMaria！\"murmuredajuniorStaffOfficer。
\"Retireindisorder！Itwasaballyrun！\"
\"Buttheycameagain，asweallknow，\"cooedtheBrigadier，theColonel’sashy-whitefacebeforehim，\"andtheybehavedaswellascouldpossiblybeexpected。Behavedbeautifully，indeed。Iwaswatchingthem。It’snotamattertotaketoheart，Colonel。AssomeGermanGeneralsaidofhismen，theywantedtobeshootedoveralittle，thatwasall。\"Tohimselfhesaid-\"Nowthey’rebloodedIcangive’emresponsiblework。It’saswellthattheygotwhattheydid。’Teach’emmorethanhalfadozenrifleflirtations，thatwill-later-runaloneandbite。PooroldColonel，though。\"
Allthatafternoontheheliographwinkedandflickeredonthehills，strivingtotellthegoodnewstoamountainfortymilesawayAndintheeveningtherearrived，dusty，sweating，andsore，amisguidedCorrespondentwhohadgoneouttoassistatatrumperyvillage-burning，andwhohadreadoffthemessagefromafar，cursinghisluckthewhile。
\"Let’shavethedetailssomehow-asfullaseveryoucan，please。
It’sthefirsttimeI’veeverbeenleftthiscampaign，\"saidtheCorrespondenttotheBrigadier；andtheBrigadier，nothingloth，toldhimhowanArmyofCommunicationhadbeencrumpledup，destroyed，andallbutannihilatedbythecraft，strategy，wisdom，andforesightoftheBrigadier。
Butsomesay，andamongthesebetheGoorkhaswhowatchedonthehillside，thatthatbattlewaswonbyJakinandLew，whoselittlebodieswereborneupjustintimetofittwogapsattheheadofthebigditch-graveforthedeadundertheheightsofJagai。
JUDSONANDTHEEMPIRE
Gloriana！TheDonmayattackusWheneverhisstomachbefain；
Hemustreachusbeforehecanrackus……
AndwherearethegalleonsofSpain？
Dobson。
Oneofthemanybeautiesofademocracyisitsalmostsuperhumanskillindevelopingtroubleswithothercountriesandfindingitshonourabradedintheprocess。AtruedemocracyhasalargecontemptforallotherlandsthataregovernedbyKingsandQueensandEmperors，andknowslittleandthinkslessoftheirinternalaffairs。Allitregardsisitsowndignity，whichisitsKing，Queen，andKnave。So，soonerorlater，aninternationaldifferenceendsinthecommonpeople，whohavenodignity，shoutingthecommonabuseofthestreet，whichalsohasnodignity，acrosstheseasinordertovindicatetheirowndignity。Theconsequencesmayormaynotbewar，butthechancesdonotfavourpeace。
AnadvantageinlivinginacivilisedlandwhichisreallygovernedliesinthefactthatalltheKingsandQueensandEmperorsofthecontinentarecloselyrelatedbybloodormarriage-are，infact，onelargefamily。Awiseheadofthemknowsthatwhatappearstobeastudiedinsultmaybenomorethansomeman’sindigestionorwoman’sindispositiontobetreatedassuch，andexplainedinquiettalk。Again，apopulardemonstration，headedbyKingandCourt，maymeannothingmorethanthatso-and-so’speopleareoutofhandfortheminute。Whenahorsefallstokickinginahunt-crowdatagate，theriderdoesnotdismount，butputshisopenhandbehindhim，andtheothersdrawaside。Itissowiththerulersofmen。Intheolddaystheycuredtheirownandtheirpeople’sbadtemperwithfireandslaughter；butnowthatthefireissolongofrangeandtheslaughtersolarge，theydootherthings，andfewamongtheirpeopleguesshowmuchtheyoweinmerelifeandmoneytowhattheslangoftheminutecalls\"puppets\"and\"luxuries。\"
OnceuponatimetherewasalittlePower，thehalf-bankruptwreckofaoncegreatempire，thatlostitstemperwithEngland，thewhipping-boyofalltheworld，andbehaved，aseveryoneknows，mostscandalously。ButitisnotgenerallyknownthatthatPowerfoughtapitchedbattlewithEnglandandwonagloriousvictory。
Thetroublebeganwiththepeople。Theirownmisfortuneshadbeenmany，andforprivaterageitisalwaysrefreshingtofindaventinpublicswearing。Theirnationalvanityhadbeendeeplyinjured，andtheythoughtoftheirancientgloriesandthedayswhentheirfleetshadfirstroundedtheCapeofStorms，andtheirownnewspaperscalleduponCamoensandurgedthemtoextravagances。Itwasthegross，smooth，sleek，lyingEnglandthatwascheckingtheircareerofcolonialexpansion。Theyassumedatoncethattheirrulerwasinleaguewiththatcountry，andconsequentlythey，hispeople，wouldforthwithbecomeaRepublicandcoloniallyexpandthemselvesasafreepeopleshould。Thismadeplain，thepeoplethrewstonesattheEnglishConsulsandspatatEnglishladies，andcutoffdrunkensailorsofourfleetintheirportsandhammeredthemwithoars，andmadethingsveryunpleasantfortouristsattheircustoms，andthreatenedawfuldeathstotheconsumptiveinvalidsatMadeira，whilethejuniorofficersoftheArmydrankfruit-extractsandenteredintoblood-curdlingconspiraciesagainsttheirmonarch，allwiththeobjectofbeingaRepublic。NowthehistoryofalltheSouthAmericanRepublicsshowsthatitisnotgoodthatSouthernEuropeansshouldbealsoRepublicans。Theyglidetooquicklyintomilitarydespotism；andtheproppingofmenagainstwallsandshootingthemindetachmentscanbearrangedmuchmoreeconomicallyandwithlesseffectonthedeath-ratebyahide-boundmonarchy。StilltheperformancesofthePowerasrepresentedbyitspeoplewereextremelyinconvenient。Itwasthekickinghorseinthecrowd，andprobablytheriderexplainedthathecouldnotcheckit。Thepeopleenjoyedallthegloryofwarwithnoneoftherisks，andthetouristswhowerestonedintheirtravelsreturnedstolidlytoEnglandandtoldthe\"Times\"thatthepolicearrangementsofforeigntownsweredefective。
ThisthenwasthestateofaffairsnorthoftheLine。Southitwasmorestrained，fortherethePowerswereatdirectissue：England，unabletogobackbecauseofthepressureofadventurouschildrenbehindher，andtheactionsoffar-awayadventurerswhowouldnotcometoheel，butofferingtobuyoutherrival；andtheotherPower，lackingmenormoney，stiffintheconvictionthatthreehundredyearsofslave-holdingandinterminglingwiththenearestnativesgaveaninalienablerighttoholdslavesandissuehalf-
castestoalleternity。Theyhadbuiltnoroads。Theirtownswererottingundertheirhands；theyhadnotradeworththefreightofacrazysteamer，andtheirsovereigntyranalmostonemusket-shotinlandwhenthingswerepeaceful。Fortheseveryreasonstheyragedallthemore，andthethingsthattheysaidandwroteaboutthemannersandcustomsoftheEnglishwouldhavedrivenayoungernationtothegunswithalongredbillforwoundedhonour。
ItwasthenthatFatesentdowninatwin-screwshallow-draftgunboat，designedforthedefenceofrivers，ofsometwohundredandseventytons’displacement，LieutenantHarrisonEdwardJudson，tobeknownforthefutureasBai-Jove-Judson。Histypeofcraftlookedexactlylikeaflat-ironwithamatchstuckupinthemiddle；itdrewfivefeetofwaterorless，carriedafour-inchgunforward，whichwastrainedbytheship，and，onaccountofitspersistentrolling，wastoliveinthreedegreesworsethanatorpedo-boat。WhenJudsonwasappointedtotakechargeofthethingonherlittletripofsixorseventhousandmilessouthward，hisfirstremarkashewenttolookheroverindockwas，\"BaiJove，thattopmastwantsstayingforward！\"Thetopmastwasastickaboutasthickasaclothes-prop，buttheflat-ironwasJudson’sfirstcommand，andhewouldnothaveexchangedhispositionforsecondpostonthe\"Anson\"orthe\"Howe\"。Henavigatedher，underconvoy，tenderlyandlovinglytotheCape（thestoryofthetopmastcamewithhim），andhewassoabsurdlyinlovewithhiswallowingwash-tubwhenhereportedhimself，thattheAdmiralofthestationthoughtitwouldbeapitytokillanewmanonher，andallowedJudsontocontinueinhisunenviedrule。
TheAdmiralvisitedheronceinSimon’sBay，andshewasbad，evenforaflat-irongunboatstrictlydesignedforriverandharbourdefence。Shesweatedclammydropsofdewbetweendecksinspiteofapreparationofpowderedcorkthatwassprinkledoverherinsidepaint。SherolledinthelongCapeswelllikeabuoy；herfoc’s’lewasadog-kennel；Judson’scabinwaspracticallyunderthewater-
line；notoneofherdead-bightscouldeverbeopened；andhercompasses，thankstotheinfluenceofthefour-inchgun，wereacuriosityevenamongAdmiraltycompasses。ButBai-Jove-Judsonwasradiantandenthusiastic。HehadevencontrivedtofillMr。
Davies，thesecond-classengine-roomartificer，whowashischiefengineer，withtheglowofhispassion。TheAdmiral，whorememberedhisownfirstcommand，whenprideforbadehimtoslackenoffasingleropeonadewynight，andhehadrackedhisriggingtopiecesinconsequence，lookedattheflat-ironkeenly。
Herfendersweredonealloverwithwhitesennitwhichwastrulywhite；herbiggunwasvarnishedwithabettercompositionthantheAdmiraltyallowed；thesparesightswerecasedascarefullyasthechronometers；thechocksforsparespars，twoofthem，weremadeoffour-inchBurmateakcarvedwithdragons’headsthatwasoneresultofBai-Jove-Judson’sexperienceswiththeNavalBrigadeintheBurmesewar；thebow-anchorwasvarnishedinsteadofbeingpainted，andtherewerechartsmorethantheAdmiraltyscalesupplied。TheAdmiralwaswellpleased，forhelovedaship’shusband-amanwhohadalittlemoneyofhisownandwaswillingtospenditonhiscommand。Judsonlookedathimhopefully。HewasonlyaJuniorNavigatingLieutenantundereightyears’standing。
HemightbekeptinSimon’sBayforsixmonths，andhisshipatseawashisdelight。Thedreamofhisheartwastoenlivenherdismalofficialgraywithalineofgold-leafandperhapsalittlescroll-workatherbluntbarge-likebows。
\"There’snothinglikeafirstcommand，isthere？\"saidtheAdmiral，readinghisthoughts。\"Youseemtohaveratherqueercompasses，though。Bettergetthemadjusted。\"
\"It’snouse，sir，\"saidJudson。\"ThegunwouldthrowoutthePoleitself。But-butI’vegotthehangofmostoftheirweaknesses。\"
\"Willyoubegoodenoughtolaythatgunoverthirtydegrees，please？\"Thegunwasputover。Roundandroundandroundwenttheneedlemerrily，andtheAdmiralwhistled。
\"Youmusthavekeptclosetoyourconvoy？\"
\"SawhertwicebetweenhereandMadeira，sir，\"saidJudsonwithaflush，forheresentedthesluronhisseamanship。\"It’s-it’salittleoutofhand，now，butshe’llsettledownafterawhile。\"
TheAdmiralwentovertheside，accordingtotherulesoftheService，buttheStaff-CaptainmusthavetoldtheothermenofthesquadroninSimon’sBay，fortheyoneandallmadelightoftheflat-ironformanydays。\"Whatcanyoushakeoutofher，Judson？\"
saidtheLieutenantofthe\"Mongoose\"，arealwhite-painted，ram-
bowgunboatwithquick-firingguns，ashecameintotheupperverandahofthelittlenavalCluboverlookingthedockyardonehotafternoon。ItisinthatClubasthecaptainscomeandgothatyouhearallthegossipofalltheSevenSeas。
\"Tenpointfour，\"saidBai-Jove-Judson。
\"Ah！Thatwasonhertrialtrip。She’stoodeepbytheheadnow。I
toldyoustayingthattopmastwouldthrowheroutoftrim。\"
\"Youleavemytop-hamperalone，\"saidJudson，forthejokewasbeginningtopallonhim。
\"Oh，mysoul！Listentohim。Juddy’stop-hamper！Keate，haveyouheardoftheflat-iron’stop-hamper？You’retoleaveitalone。
CommodoreJudson’sfeelingsarehurt。\"
KeatewastheTorpedoLieutenantofthebig\"Vortigern\"，andhedespisedsmallthings。\"Histop-hamper，\"saidheslowly。\"Oh，ahyes，ofcourse。Juddy，there’sashoalofmulletinthebay，andI
thinkthey’refoulofyourscrews。Bettergodown，orthey’llcarryawaysomething。\"
\"Idon’tletthingscarryawayasarule。YouseeI’venoTorpedoLieutenantonboard，thankGod！\"
Keatewithinthepastweekhadsomanagedtobungletheslinginginofasmalltorpedo-boatonthe\"Vortigern\"，thattheboathadbrokenthecrutchesinwhichsherested，andwasherselfbeingrepairedinthedockyardundertheClubwindows。
\"Oneforyou，Keate。Nevermind，Juddy；you’reherebyappointeddockyard-tenderforthenextthreeyears，andifyou’reverygoodandthere’snoseaon，youshalltakemeroundtheharbour。
Waitabeechee，Commodore。What’llyoutake？Vanderhumforthe’Cookandthecaptainbold，Andthemateo’theNancybrig，Andthebo’suntight’（Juddy，putthatcuedownorI’llputyouunderarrestforinsultingthelieutenantoftherealship）’Andthemidshipmite，Andthecrewofthecaptain’sgig。\"
BythistimeJudsonhadpinnedhiminacorner，andwasproddinghimwiththehalf-butt。TheAdmiral’sSecretaryentered，andsawthescufflefromafar。
\"Ouch！Juddy，Iapologise。Takethat-ertopmastofyoursaway！
Here’sthemanwiththebow-string。IwishIwereastaff-captaininsteadofabloodylootenant。Sperrilsleepsbeloweverynight。
That’swhatmakesSperriltumblehomefromthewaistuppards。
Sperril，Idefyyoutotouchme。I’munderordersforZanzibar。
ProbablyIshallannexit！\"
\"Judson，theAdmiralwantstoseeyou！\"saidtheStaff-Captain，disregardingthescofferofthe\"Mongoose\"。
\"Itoldyouyou’dbeadockyard-tenderyet，Juddy。Asideoffreshbeefto-morrowandthreedozensnapperonice。Onice，youunderstand，Juddy？\"
Bai-Jove-JudsonandtheStaff-Captainwentouttogether。
\"Now，whatdoestheAdmiralwantwithJudson？\"saidKeatefromthebar。
\"Don’tknow。Juddy’sadamnedgoodfellow，though。IwishtogoodnesshewasontheMongoosewithus。\"
TheLieutenantofthe\"Mongoose\"droppedintoachairandreadthemailpapersforanhour。ThenhesawBai-Jove-Judsoninthestreetandshoutedtohim。Judson’seyeswereverybright，andhisfigurewasheldverystraight，andhemovedjoyously。ExceptfortheLieutenantofthe\"Mongoose\"，theClubwasempty。
\"Juddy，therewillbeabeautifulrow，\"saidthatyoungmanwhenhehadheardthenewsdeliveredinanundertone。\"You’llprobablyhavetofight，andyetIcan’tseewhattheAdmiral’sthinkingofto-\"
\"Myordersarenottofightunderanycircumstances，\"saidJudson。
\"Go-look-see？Thatall？Whendoyougo？\"
\"To-nightifIcan。Imustgodownandseeaboutthings。Isay，I
maywantafewmenfortheday。\"
\"Anythingonthe\"Mongoose\"isatyourservice。There’smygigcomeinnow。Iknowthatcoast，dead，drunk，orasleep，andyou’llneedalltheknowledgeyoucanget。Ifithadonlybeenustwotogether！Comeoverwithme！\"
ForonewholehourJudsonremainedclosetedinthesterncabinofthe\"Mongoose\"，listening，poringoverchartuponchartandtakingnotes，andforanhourthemarineatthedoorheardnothingbutthingslikethese：\"Nowyou’llhavetoputinhereifthere’sanyseaon。Thatcurrentisridiculouslyunder-estimated，anditsetswestatthisseasonoftheyear，remember。Theirboatsnevercomesouthofthis，see？Soit’snogoodlookingoutforthem。\"Andsoonandsoforth，whileJudsonlayatlengthonthelockerbythethree-pounder，andsmokedandabsorbeditall。
Nextmorningtherewasnoflat-ironinSimon’sBay，onlyalittlesmudgeofsmokeoffCapeHangkliptoshowthatMr。Davies，thesecond-classengine-roomartificer，wasgivingherallshecouldcarry。AttheAdmiral’shouse，theancientandretiredbo’sun，whohadseenmanyAdmiralscomeandgo，broughtouthispaintandbrushesandgaveanewcoatofpurerawpea-greentothetwobigcannon-ballsthatstoodoneoneachsideoftheAdmiral’sentrance-gate。Hefeltdimlythatgreateventswerestirring。
Andtheflat-iron，constructed，ashasbeenbeforesaid，solelyforthedefenseofrivers，metthegreatrolloffCapeAgulhasandwassweptfromendtoendandsatuponhertwin-screwsandleapedasgracefullyasacowinabogfromoneseatoanother，tillMr。
Daviesbegantofearforthesafetyofhisengines，andtheKrooboysthatmadethemajorityofthecrewweredeathlysick。Sheranalongaverybadly-lightedcoast，pastbaysthatwerenobays，whereuglyflat-toppedrockslayalmostlevelwiththewater，andverymanyextraordinarythingshappenedthathavenothingtodowiththestory，buttheywerealldulyloggedbyBai-Jove-Judson。
Atlastthecoastchangedandgrewgreenandlowandexceedinglymuddy，andtherewerebroadriverswhosebarswerelittleislandsstandingthreeorfourmilesoutatsea，andBai-Jove-Judsonhuggedtheshoremorecloselythanever，rememberingwhattheLieutenantofthe\"Mongoose\"hadtoldhim。Thenhefoundariverfullofthesmelloffeverandmud，withgreenstuffgrowingfarintoitswaters，andacurrentthatmadetheflatirongaspandgrunt。
\"Wewillturnuphere，\"saidBai-Jove-Judson，andtheyturnedupaccordingly；Mr。Davieswonderingwhatintheworlditallmeant，andtheKrooboysgrinning。Bai-Jove-Judsonwentforwardtothebowsandmeditated，staringthroughthemuddywaters。Aftersixhoursofrootingthroughthisdesolationatanaveragerateoffivemilesanhour，hiseyeswerecheeredbythesightofonewhitebuoyinthecoffee-huedmid-stream。Theflat-ironcreptuptoitcautiously，andaleadsmantooksoundingsallarounditfromadinghy，whileBai-Jove-Judsonsmokedandthought，withhisheadononeside。
\"Aboutsevenfeet，isn’tthere？\"saidhe。\"Thatmustbethetailendoftheshoal。There’sfourfathominthefairway。Knockthatbuoydownwithaxes。Idon’tthinkit’spicturesquesomehow。\"TheKroomenhackedthewoodensidestopiecesinthreeminutes，andthemooring-chainsankwiththelasstsplintersofwood。Bai-JoveJudsonlaidtheflat-ironcarefullyoverthesite，whileMr。
Davieswatched，bitinghisnailsnervously。
\"Canyoubackheragainstthiscurrent？\"saidBai-Jove-Judson。Mr。
Daviescould，inchbyinch，butonlyinchbyinch，andBai-Jove-
Judsonsatinthebowsandgazedatvariousthingsonthebankastheycameintolineoropenedout。Theflatirondroppeddownoverthetailoftheshoal，exactlywherethebuoyhadbeen，andbackedoncebeforeBai-Jove-Judsonwassatisfied。Thentheywentupstreamforhalfanhour，putintoshoalwaterbythebankandwaited，withaslip-ropeontheanchor。
\"Seemstome，\"saidMr。Daviesdeferentially，\"likeasifIheardsomeonea-firingoffatintervals，sotosay。\"
Therewasbeyonddoubtadullmutterintheair。\"Seemstome，\"
saidBai-Jove-Judson，\"asifIheardascrew。Standbytosliphermoorings。\"
Anothertenminutespassedandthebeatofenginesgrewplainer。
Thenroundthebendoftherivercamearemarkablyprettilybuiltwhite-paintedgunboatwithablueandwhiteflagbearingaredbossinthecentre。
\"Unshackleabaftthewindlass！Streambothbuoys！Easy，astern。
Letgo，all！\"Theslip-ropeflewout，thetwobuoysbobbedinthewatertomarkwhereanchorandcablehadbeenleft，andtheflat-
ironwaddledoutintomidstreamwiththewhiteensignatheronemast-head。
\"Giveherallyoucan。Thatthinghasthelegsofus，\"saidJudson。\"Anddownwego！\"
\"It’swar-bloodywar。He’sgoingtofire，\"saidMr。Davies，lookingupthroughtheengine-roomhatch。
Thewhitegunboatwithoutawordofexplanationfiredthreegunsattheflat-iron，cuttingthetreesonthebanksintogreenchips。
Bai-Jove-Judsonwasatthewheel，andMr。Daviesandthecurrenthelpedtheboattoanalmostrespectabledegreeofspeed。
Itwasanexcitingchase，butitdidnotlastformorethanfiveminutes。Thewhitegunboatfiredagain，andMr。Daviesinhisengine-roomgaveawildshout。
\"What’sthematter？Hit？\"saidBai-Jove-Judson。
\"No，I’vejustseizedofyourroos-de-gare。Begy’pardon，sir。\"
\"Right0！Justthehalfafractionofapointmore。\"Thewheelturnedunderthesteadyhand，asBai-Jove-Judsonwatchedhismarksonthebankcominginlineswiftlyastroopsanxioustoaid。Theflat-ironsmelttheshoalwaterunderher，checkedforaninstant，andwenton。\"Nowwe’reover。Comealong，youthieves，there！\"
Thewhitegunboat，toohurriedeventofire，wasstorminginthewakeoftheflat-iron，steeringasshesteered。Thiswasunfortunate，becausethelightercraftwasdeadoverthemissingbuoy。
\"Whatyoudohere？\"shoutedavoicefromthebows。
\"I’mgoingon。Holdtight。Nowyou’rearrangedfor！\"
Therewasacrashandaclatterasthewhitegunboat’snosetooktheshoal，andthebrownmudboiledupinoozycirclesunderherforefoot。Thenthecurrentcaughtherstembythestarboardsideanddroveherbroadsideontotheshoal，slowlyandgracefully。
Theresheheeledatanundignifiedangle，andhercrewyelledaloud。
\"Neat！Oh，damnneat！\"quothMr。Davies，dancingontheengine-
roomplates，whiletheKroostokersgrinned。
Theflat-ironturnedup-streamagain，andpassedunderthehove-upstarboardsideofthewhitegunboat，tobereceivedwithhowlsandimprecationsinastrangetongue。Thestrandedboat，exposedeventoherlowerstrakes，wasasdefence-lessasaturtleonitsback，withouttheadvantageoftheturtle’splating。Andtheonebigbluntguninthebowsoftheflat-ironwasunpleasantlynear。
Butthecaptainwasvaliantandsworemightily。Bai-Jove-Judsontooknosortofnotice。Hisbusinesswastogouptheriver。
\"Wewillcomeinaflotillaofboatsandecrazeryourviletricks，\"saidthecaptainwithlanguagethatneednotbepublished。
ThensaidBai-Jove-Judson，whowasalinguist：\"Youstayowhereyouareo，orI’llleaveahole-oinyourbottomothatwillmakeyoumuchosperforatados。\"
Therewasagreatdealofmixedlanguageinreply，butBai-Jove-
Judsonwasoutofhearinginafewminutes，andMr。Davies，himselfamanoffewwords，confidedtooneofhissubordinatesthatLieutenantJudsonwas\"amostremarkablepromptofficerinawayofputtingit。\"
Fortwohourstheflat-ironpawedmadlythroughthemuddywater，andthatwhichhadbeenatfirstamutterbecameadistinctrumble。
\"Waswardeclared？\"saidMr。Davies，andBai-Jove-Judsonlaughed。
\"Then，damnhiseyes，hemighthavespoiltmyprettylittleengines。There’swarupthere，though。\"
Thenextbendbroughtthemfullinsightofasmallbutlivelyvillage，builtroundawhitewashedmudhouseofsomepretensions。
Therewerescoresandscoresofsaddle-colouredsoldieryonduty，whiteuniformsrunningtoandfroandshoutingroundamaninalitter，andonagentleslopethatraninlandforfourorfivemilessomethinglikeabriskbattlewasragingroundarudestockade。AsmellofunburiedcarcassesfloatedthroughtheairandvexedthesensitivenoseofMr。
Davies，whospatovertheside。
\"Iwanttogetthisgunonthathouse，\"saidBai-Jove-Judson，indicatingthesuperiordwellingoverwhoseflatrooffloatedtheblueandwhiteflag。Thelittletwinscrewskickedupthewaterexactlyasahen’slegskickinthedustbeforeshesettlesdowntoabath。Thelittleboatmoveduneasilyfromlefttoright，backed，yawedagain，wentahead，andatlastthegraybluntgun’snosewasheldasstraightasarifle-barrelonthemarkindicated。ThenMr。DaviesallowedthewhistletospeakasitisnotallowedtospeakinHerMajesty’sserviceonaccountofwasteofsteam。Thesoldieryofthevillagegatheredintoknotsandgroupsandbunches，andthefiringupthehillceased，andeveryoneexceptthecrewoftheflatironyelledaloud。SomethinglikeanEnglishcheercamedownwind。
\"Ourchapsinmischiefforsure，probably，\"saidMr。Davies。\"Theymusthavedeclaredwarweeksago，inakindofway，seemstome。\"
\"Holdhersteady，yousonofasoldier！\"shoutedBai-Jove-Judson，asthemuzzlefelloffthewhitehouse。
Somethingrangasloudlyasaship’sbellontheforwardplatesoftheflat-iron，somethingsplutteredinthewater，andanotherthingcutagrooveinthedeckplankinganinchinfrontofBai-
Jove-Judson’sleftfoot。Thesaddle-colouredsoldierywerefiringasthemoodtookthem，andthemaninthelitterwavedashiningsword。Themuzzleofthebiggunkickeddownafractionasitwaslaidonthemudwallatthebottomofthehousegarden。Tenpoundsofgunpowdershutupinahundredpoundsofmetalwasitscharge。
Threeorfouryardsofthemudwalljumpedupalittle，asamanjumpswhenheiscaughtinthesmallofthebackwithaknee-cap，andthenfellforward，spreadingfan-wiseinthefall。Thesoldieryfirednomorethatday，andJudsonsawanoldblackwomanclimbtotheflatroofofthehouse。Shefumbledforatimewiththeflaghalliards，thenfindingthattheywerejammed，tookoffheronegarment，whichhappenedtobeanIsabella-colouredpetticoat，andwaveditimpatiently。Themaninthelitterflourishedawhitehandkerchief，andBai-Jove-Judsongrinned。\"Nowwe’llgive’emoneupthehill。Roundwithher，Mr。Davies。Cursethemanwhoinventedthosefloatinggunplatforms。WherecanI
pitchinanoticewithoutslayingoneofthoselittledevils？\"
Thesideoftheslopewasspeckledwithmenreturninginadisorderlyfashiontotheriverfront。Behindthemmarchedasmallbutverycompactbodyofmenwhohadfiledoutofthestockade。
Theselastdraggedquick-firinggunswiththem。
\"BaiJove，it’saregulararmy。Iwonderwhose，\"saidBai-Jove-
Judson，andhewaiteddevelopments。Thedescendingtroopsmetandmixedwiththetroopsinthevillage，and，withthelitterinthecentre，crowdeddowntotheriver，tillthemenwiththequick-
firinggunscameupbehindthem。Thentheydividedleftandrightandthedetachmentmarchedthrough。
\"Heavethesedamnedthingsover！\"saidtheleaderoftheparty，andoneafteranothertenlittlegatlingssplashedintothemuddywater。Theflatironlayclosetothebank。
\"Whenyou’requitedone，\"saidBai-Jove-Judsonpolitely，\"wouldyoumindtellingmewhat’sthematter？I’minchargehere。\"
\"We’rethePioneersoftheGeneralDevelopmentCompany，\"saidtheleader。\"Theselittleboundershavebeenhammeringusinlagerfortwelvehours，andwe’regettingridoftheirgatlings。Hadtoclimboutandtakethem；butthey’vesnaffledthelock-actions。
Gladtoseeyou。\"
\"Anyonehurt？\"
\"Noonekilledexactly，butwe’reverydry。\"
\"Canyouholdyourmen？\"
Themanturnedroundandlookedathiscommandwithagrin。Therewereseventyofthem，alldustyandunkempt。
\"Wesha’n’tsackthisash-bin，ifthat’swhatyoumean。We’remostlygentlemenhere，thoughwedon’tlookit。\"
\"Allright。Sendtheheadofthispost，orfort，orvillage，orwhateveritis，aboard，andmakewhatarrangementsyoucanforyourmen。\"
\"We’llfindsomebarrackaccommodationsomewhere。Hullo！Youinthelitterthere，goaboardthegunboat。\"Thecommandwheeledround，pushedthroughthedislocatedsoldiery，andbegantosearchthroughthevillageforsparehuts。
Thelittlemaninthelittercameaboardsmilingnervously。Hewasinthefullestoffulluniform，withmanyyardsofgoldlaceanddanglingchains。Alsoheworeverylargespurs；thenearesthorsebeingnotmorethanfourhundredmilesaway。\"Mychildren，\"saidhe，facingthesilentsoldiery，\"layasideyourarms。\"
Mostofthemenhaddroppedthemalreadyandweresittingdowntosmoke。\"Letnothing，\"headdedinhisowntongue，\"temptyoutokillthesewhohavesoughtyourprotection。\"
\"Now，\"saidBai-Jove-Judson，onwhomthelastremarkwaslost，\"willyouhavethegoodnesstoexplainwhatthedeuceyoumeanbyallthisnonsense？\"
\"Itwasofanecessitate，\"saidthelittleman。\"Theoperationsofwarareunconformible。IamtheGovernorandIoperateCaptain。
Be’oldmylittlesword。\"
\"Confoundyourlittlesword，sir。Idon’twantit。You’vefiredonourflag。You’vebeenfiringatourpeoplehereforaweek，andI’vebeenfiredatcominguptheriver。\"
\"Ah！The’Guadala’。Shehavemisconstruedyouforaslaverpossibly。Howarethe’Guadala’？\"
\"MistookashipofHerMajesty’snavyforaslaver！Youmistakeanycraftforaslaver！BaiJove，sir，I’veagoodmindtohangyouattheyard-arm！\"
Therewasnothingnearerthatterriblesparthanthewalking-stickintherackofJudson’scabin。TheGovernorlookedattheonemastandsmiledadeprecatingsmile。
\"Thepositionisembarrassment，\"hesaid。\"Captain，doyouthinkthoseillustrioustradersburnmycapital？Mypeoplewillgivethembeer。\"
\"Nevermindthetraders，Iwantanexplanation。\"
\"Hum！TherearepopularuprisinginEurope，Captain-inmycountry。\"Hiseyewanderedaimlesslyroundthehorizon。
\"Whathasthattodowith-\"
\"Captain，youareveryyoung。Thereisstilluproariment。ButI\"-
hereheslappedhischesttillhisepauletsjingled-\"Iamloyalisttopitsofallmystomachs。\"
\"Goon，\"saidJudson，andhismouthquivered。
\"Anorderarrivetometoestablishacustom-houseshere，andtocollectofthetaximentfromthetraderswhenshearecomeherenecessarily。Thatwasonaccountofpoliticalunderstandingswithyourcountryandmine。Butonthatarrangementtherewasnomoneyalso。Notonedamnlittlecowrie。Idesiredamnablytoextendallcommercialthings，andwhy？Iamloyalistandthereisrebellion-
yes，Itellyou-Republicsinmycountryfortojustbegin。Youdonotbelieve？Seesometimehowitexist。Icannotmakethiscustom-housesandpaythesohigh-paidofficials。ThepeopletooinmycountrytheysaythekingshehasnoregardanceintoHonourofhernation。Hethrowawayeverything-Gladstoneherall，yousay，pay？\"
\"Yes，that’swhatwesay，\"saidJudsonwithagrin。
\"Thereforetheysay，letusbeRepublicsonhotcakes。ButI-I
amloyalisttoallmyhands’ends。Captain，onceIwasattach？atMexico。IsaytheRepublicsarenogood。Thepeopleshaveherstomachhigh。Theydesire-theydesire-acourseforthebills。\"
\"Whatonearthisthat？\"
\"Thecock-fightforpayatthegate。Yougivesomething，payforseebloodyrow。DoImakeitscomprehension？\"
\"Arunfortheirmoney-isthatwhatyoumean？Gad，you’resporting，Governor。\"
\"SoIsay。Iamloyalist，too。\"Hesmiledmoreeasily。\"Nowhowcananythingdoherselfforthecustoms-houses；butwhentheCompany’smensshearrives，thenacock-fightforpayatgatethatisquitecorrect。MyarmyhesaysitwillRepublicandshootmeoffuponwallsifIhavenotgiveherblood。Anarmy，Captain，areterribleinherangries-especialmentwhenshearenotpaid。I
know，too，\"herehelaidhishandonJudson’sshoulder，\"Iknowtooweareoldfriends。Yes！Badajos，Almeida，Fuentesd’Onor-
timeeversince；andalittle，littlecock-fightforpayatgatethatisgoodformyking。Moresithertightonthronebehind，yousee？Now，\"hewavedhishandroundthedecayedvillage，\"Isaytomyarmies，Fight！FighttheCompany’smenwhenshecome，butfightnotsoverystrongthatyouareanydeads。ItisallintheraportathatIsend。Butyouunderstand，Captain，wearegoodfriendsallthetime。Ah！CiudadRodrigo，youremember？No？
Perhapsyourfather，then？Soyouseenoonearedeads，andwefightafight，anditisallintheraporta，topleasethepeopleinourcountry，andmyarmiestheydonotputmeagainstthewalls。Yousee？\"
\"Yes；butthe’Guadala’。Shefiredonus。Wasthatpartofyourgame，myjoker？\"
\"The’Guadala’。Ah！No，Ithinknot。Hercaptainheistoobigfool。ButIthinkshehavegonedownthecoast。Thoseyourgunboatspokehernoseandshoveheroarineveryplace。Howis’Guadala’？\"
\"Onashoal。StucktillItakeheroff。\"
\"Thereareanydeads？\"
\"No。\"
TheGovernordrewabreathofdeeprelief。\"Therearenodeadshere。Soyouseenonearedeadsanywhere，andnothingisdone。
