Willyoucomewithmeintothechamberofmemoryandliftyoureyestothepaintedwindowswherethefiguresandscenesofchildhoodappear？Perhapsbylookingwithkindlyeyesatthosefromoutmypast，longwished-forvisionsofyourownyouthwillappeartohealthewoundsfromwhichyousuffer，andtoquietyourstormyandrestlessheart。
CONTENTS
INIGHT
IISOLITUDE
IIIFRIENDSHIP
IVFAME
VREMORSE
VITRAVEL
PAINTEDWINDOWS
I
NIGHT
YOUNGpeoplebelieveverylittlethattheyhearaboutthecompen-
sationsofgrowingold，andoflivingoveragaininmemorytheeventsofthepast。Yettherereallyarethesecom-
pensationsandpleasures，andalthoughtheyarenotsovividandbreathlessasthepleasuresofyouth，theyhavesome-
thingdelicateandfineaboutthemthatmustbeexperiencedtobeappreciated。
Fewofuswouldexchangeourmem-
oriesforthoseofothers。Theyhavebecomeapartofourpersonality，andwecouldnotpartwiththemwithoutlosingsomethingofourselves。Neitherwouldwepartwithourownparticularchildhood，which，howeverdifficultitmayhavebeenattimes，seemstoeachofusmoresignificantthanthechild-
hoodofanyoneelse。Icanrunoverinmymindcertainincidentsofmychildhoodasiftheywerechaptersinamuch-lovedbook，andwhenIamwake-
fulatnight，orboredbyalongjourney，orwaitingforsomeoneintherailway-
station，Itakethemoutandgooverthemagain。
Norismybookofmemorieswithoutitsillustrations。Icanseelittlevil-
lages，andagreatcity，andforestsandplantedfields，andfamiliarfaces；andallhavethisadvantage：theyarenotfixedandwithoutmotion，likethepic-
turesintheordinarybook。Peoplearewalkingupthestreetsofthevil-
lage，thetreesaretossing，thetallwheatandcorninthefieldssaluteme。
Icansmelltheodourofthegatheredhay，andthefacesinmydream-booksmileatme。
OfallofthesememoriesIlikebesttheoneinthepineforest。
Iwasatthatagewhenchildrenthinkoftheirparentsasbeingall-powerful。
Icouldhardlyhaveimaginedanycir-
cumstances，howeveradverse，thatmyfathercouldnothavemetwithhisstrengthandwisdomandskill。Allchil-
drenhavesuchaperiodofhero-wor-
ship，Isuppose，whentheirfatherstandsoutfromtherestoftheworldasthebestandmostpowerfulmanliving。So，feelingasIdid，IwasmadehappierthanIcansaywhenmyfatherdecided，becauseIwaslookingpaleandhadapoorappetite，totakemeoutofschoolforawhile，andcarrymewithhimonadrivingtrip。WelivedinMichigan，wheretherewere，inthedaysofwhichIamwriting，notmanyrail-
roads；andwhenmyfather，whowasattorneyforanumberofwholesalemer-
cantilefirmsinDetroit，usedtogoaboutthecountrycollectingmoneydue，adjustingclaims，andsoon，hehadnochoicebuttodrive。
Andoverwhatroads！Nowitwasastripofcorduroy，nowapieceofwell-
gradedelevationwithclaysubsoilandgravelsurface，nowaneglectedstretchfullofdangerousholes；andworstofall，runningthroughthegreatforests，longpiecesofroadfromwhichthestumpshadbeenonlypartlyextracted，andwherethesunlightbarelypene-
trated。Herethesoakedearthbecamelittlelessthanaquagmire。
Butfatherwastoowellusedtohardjourneystofearthem，andIfeltthat，ingoingwithhim，Iwassafefromallpossibleharm。Thejourneyhadalltheallurementofanadventure，forwewouldnotknowfromdaytodaywhereweshouldeatourmealsorsleepatnight。So，toprovideagainsttrouble，wecarriedfather’soldred-and-blue-
checkedarmyblankets，abagoffeedforSheridan，thehorse，plentyofbread，bacon，jam，coffeeandpreparedcream；
andwehungpailsofpurewaterandbuttermilkfromtherearofourbuggy。
Wehadbeenouttwoweekswithoutfailingoncetoeatatapropertableortosleepinacomfortablebed。Some-
timesweputupatthestark-lookingho-
telsthatloomed，rawanduninviting，inthelargertowns；sometimeswehadthepleasureofbeingwelcomedatalittleinn，wherethehostshowedusapersonalhospitality；butoftenerwewereforcedtomakeourselves\"payingguests\"atsomehouse。Wecarednoth-
ingwhetherwesleptinthespareroomsofafineframe\"residence\"orcreptintobedbeneaththeeavesoftheatticinalogcabin。Ihadbeguntofeelthatourjourneywouldbealmosttootameandcomfortable，whenonenightsome-
thingreallyhappened。
Fatherlosthisbearings。HewashopingtoreachthetownofGratiotbynightfall，andheattemptedtomakeashortcut。Todothisheturnedintoaroadthatwoundthroughamagnifi-
centforest，atfirstofoakandbutter-
nut，ironwoodandbeech，thenofdenselygrowingpines。Whenween-
teredthewooditwastwilight，butnosoonerwerewewellwithintheshadowofthesesombretreesthanwewereplungedindarkness，andwithinhalfanhourthisdarknessdeepened，sothatwecouldseenothing——noteventhehorse。
\"Thesundoesn’tgetinheretheyearround，\"saidfather，tryinghisbesttoguidethehorsethroughthemire。Sodeepwasthemudthatitseemedasifitliterallysuckedatthelegsofthehorseandthewheelsofthebuggy，andIbegantowonderifweshouldreallybeswallowed，andtofearthatwehadmetwithadifficultythatevenmyfathercouldnotovercome。I
canhardlymakeplainwhatatragicthoughtthatwas！Thehorsebegantogiveoutsighsandgroans，andintheintervalsofhisstrugglestogeton，I
couldfeelhimtrembling。Therewasanoteofanxietyinfather’svoiceashecalledout，withalltheauthorityandcheerhecouldcommand，topoorSheri-
dan。Thewindwasrising，andthelongsobsofthepinesmadecoldshiversrunupmyspine。Myteethchattered，partlyfromcold，butmorefromfright。
\"Whatarewegoingtodo？\"Iasked，myvoicequiveringwithtears。
\"Well，wearen’tgoingtocry，what-
everelsewedo！\"answeredfather，rathersharply。Hesnatchedthelightedlanternfromitsplaceonthedashboardandleapedoutintotheroad。
Icouldhearhimflounderingroundinthatterriblemireandsoothingthehorse。ThenextthingIrealisedwasthatthehorsewasunhitched，thatfa-
therhad——forthefirsttimeduringourjourney——laidthelashacrossSheri-
dan’sback，andthat，withaleapofin-
dignation，thehorsehadreachedthefirmgroundoftheroadside。Fathercalledouttohimtostandstill，andamomentlaterIfoundmyselfbeingswungfromthebuggyintofather’sarms。Hestaggeredalong，plungingandalmostfalling，andpresentlyI，too，stoodbeneaththegiantpines。
\"Onejourneymore，\"saidfather，\"foroursupper，andthenwe’llbivouacrighthere。\"
NowthatIwasawayfromthebuggythatwassofamiliartome，andthatseemedlikealittlemovablepieceofhome，Ifelt，asIhadnotfeltbefore，thevastnessofthesolitude。Abovemeintherisingwindtossedthetopsofthesingingtrees；aboutmestretchedthesoftblackness；andbeneaththedense，interlacedbranchesitwasalmostascalmandstillasinaroom。Icouldseethatthecloudswerebreakingandthestarsbeginningtocomeout，andthatcomfortedmealittle。
Fatherwaskeepingupastreamofcheerfultalk。
\"Now，sir，\"hewassayingtoSheri-
dan，\"standstillwhileIgetthishar-
nessoffyou。I’lltieyouandblanketyou，andyoucanlieorstandasyouplease。Here’syournose-bag，withsomegoodsupperinit，andifyoudon’thavedrink，it’snotmyfault。Anyway，itisn’tsolongsinceyougotagoodnipatthecreek。\"
Iwaswatchingbythefaintlightofthelantern，andnoticinghowunnat-
uralfatherandSheridanlooked。Theyseemedtobeblockedoutinarudekindofway，likesomewoodentoysIhadathome。
\"Hereweare，\"saidfather，\"likeRobinsonCrusoes。ItwashardluckforRobinson，nothavinghislittlegirlalong。He’dhavehadhertopickupsticksandtwigstomakeafire，andthatwouldhavebeenagreathelptohim。\"
Fatherbeganbreakingfallenbranchesoverhisknee，andIgropedroundandfilledmyarmsagainandagainwithlittlefagots。Soafterafewminuteswehadafinefirecracklinginaplacewhereitcouldnotcatchthebranchesofthetrees。Fatherhadscrapedtheneedlesofthepinesto-
getherinsuchawaythatabarerimofearthwasleftallaroundthefire，sothatitcouldnotspreadalongtheground；
andpresentlythecoffee-potwasoverthefireandbaconwassizzlinginthefrying-pan。Thegood，heartyodourscameouttominglewiththedeliciousscentofthepines，andI，settingoutourdishes，begantofeelahappinessdifferentfromanythingIhadeverknown。
Pioneersandwanderersandsoldiershavejoysoftheirown——joysofwhichIhadheardoftenenough，fortherehadbeenmorestoriestoldthanreadinourhouse。ButnowforthefirsttimeI
knewwhatmygrandmotherandmyuncleshadmeantwhentheytoldmeaboutthewaytheyhadcomeintothewilderness，andaboutthegreathappi-
nessandfreedomofthosefirstdays。I，too，feltthisfreedom，anditseemedtomeasifIneveragainwantedwallstocloseinonme。Allmyfearwasgone，andIfeltwildandglad。IcouldnotbelievethatIwasonlyalittlegirl。I
felttallereventhanmyfather。
Father’smoodwaslikemineinaway。Hehadmemoriestoaddtohisemotion，butthen，ontheotherhand，helackedthesenseofdiscoveryIhad，forhehadknownoftensuchfeelingsaswerecomingtomeforthefirsttime。
WhenhewasayoungmanhehadbeenacolporteurfortheAmericanBibleSo-
cietyamongtheLakeSuperiorIndians，andinthatwayhadearnedpartofthemoneyforhiscourseattheUniversityofMichigan；afterwardhehadgonewithothergold-seekerstoPike’sPeak，andhadcrossedtheplainswithoxen，inthecompanyofmanyotheradven-
turers；then，whenPresidentLincolncalledfortroops，hehadreturnedtoenlistwiththeMichiganmen，andhadservedmorethanthreeyearswithMc-
ClellanandGrant。
So，naturally，therewasnothinghedidnotknowaboutmakinghimselfcomfortableintheopen。Heknewallthesorrowandallthejoyofthehome-
lessman，andnow，ashecooked，hebe-
gantosingtheoldsongs——\"MarchingThroughGeorgia，\"and\"BuryMeNotontheLonePrairie，\"and\"InthePrisonCellISit。\"HehadbeeninaSouthernprisonaftertheBattleoftheWilderness，andsoheknewhowtosingthatsongwithparticularfeeling。
Ihadheardwarstoriesallmylife，thoughusuallyfathertoldsuchtalesinahalf-jokingway，asiftomakelightofeverythinghehadgonethrough。Butnow，asweatethereunderthetossingpines，andthewildchorusinthetree-
topsswelledlikearisingsea，thespiritoftheolddayscameoverhim。Hewasagood\"stumpspeaker，\"andheknewhowtomakeastorycometolife，andneverdidallhissimplenaturalgiftsshowthemselvesbetterthanonthisnight，whenhedweltonhisoldcam-
paigns。
ForthefirsttimeIwastolookintotheheartofakindlynaturedman，forcedbyterriblenecessitytogothroughthedreadexperienceofwar。
Igainedanideaoftheunspeakablehomesicknessofthemanwholeaveshisfamilytoanunimaginedfate，andsacrificesyearsintheserviceofhiscountry。Isawthatthemereforegoingofroofandbedisanindescribabledis-
tress；Ilearnedsomethingofwhatthepalpitantanxietybeforeabattlemustbe，andthequakingfearatthefirstrattleofbullets，andthehalf-madrushofdeterminationwithwhichmenforcevalourintotheirfalteringhearts；I
wasmadetoknowsomethingoftheblightofwar——thehorrorofthebattle-
field，thewasteofbounty，theruinofhomes。
Then，risingabovethis，camestoriesofdevotion，ofbrotherhood，ofserviceonthelong，desolatemarches，ofcour-
agetothedeathofthosewhofoughtforacause。Ibegantoseewhereinlaythehighestjoyofthesoldier，andofhowlittleaccountheheldhimself，iftheprincipleforwhichhefoughtcouldbepreserved。IheardforthefirsttimethewonderfulwordsofLin-
colnatGettysburg，andlearnedtore-
peatapartofthem。
Iwasonlyeight，itistrue，butemo-
tionhasnoage，andIunderstoodthenaswellasIevercould，whatheroismanddevotionandself-forgetfulnessmean。Iunderstood，too，themeaningofthewords\"ourcountry，\"andmyheartwarmedtoit，asintheoldertimestheheartsofboysandgirlswarmedtothenameoftheirking。ThenewknowledgewassobeautifulthatI
thoughtthen，andIthinknow，thatnothingcouldhaveservedassofitanaccompanimenttoitastheshoutingofthosepines。Theysanglikeheroes，andintheirswayinggavemefleetingglimpsesofthestars，unbelievablybrilliantintheduskypurplesky，andhalf-obscurednowandthenbydriftingclouds。
Byandbywelaydown，notfarapart，eachrolledinanarmyblanket，frayedwithservice。Ourfeetweretothefire——foritwassothatsoldierslay，myfa-
thersaid——andourheadsrestedonmoundsofpine-needles。
SometimesinthenightIfeltmyfa-
ther’shandrestinglightlyonmyshoul-
derstoseethatIwascovered，butinmydreamsheceasedtobemyfatherandbecamemycomrade，andIwasadrummerboy，——Ihadseentheplay，\"TheDrummerBoyoftheRappahan-
nock，\"——marchingforward，withsetteeth，inthefaceofbattle。
Whatevercouldredeemwarandmakeitgloriousseemedtofloodmysoul。Allthatwashighest，allthatwasnobleinthatdreadfulconflictcametomeinmysleep——tome，thechildwhohadbeenbornwhenmyfatherwasat\"thefront。\"Ihadastrangebaptismofthespirit。Idiscoveredsorrowandcourage，singingtreesandstars。Iwasneveragaintothinkthatthefiresideandfiresidethoughtsmadeupthewholeoflife。
MyfatherlieswithothersoldiersbythePacific；theforestsingsnomore；
theoldarmyblanketshavedisap-
peared；thememoriesoftheterriblewararefading，——happilyfading，——buttheyallliveagain，sometimes，inmymemory，andIamoncemoreachild，withthoughtsasproudandfierceandbeautifulasValkyries。
II
SOLITUDE
AMONGthepicturesthatIseewhenIlookbackintothepast，istheonewhereI，asullen，egotisticper-
sonnineyearsold，stoodquitealoneintheworld。Tohesure，therewerefa-
therandmotherinthehouse，andthereweretheotherchildren，andnotoneamongthemknewIwasalone。Theworldcertainlywouldnothavere-
gardedmeasfriendlessororphaned。
Therewasnothinginmymereappear-
ance，asIstartedawaytoschoolinmycleanginghams，withmywell-brushedhair，andembroideredschool-bag，toleadanyonetosupposethatIwasacastaway。YetIwas——Ihaddiscoveredthisfact，hiddenthoughitmightbefromothers。
Iwasnolongerloved。Fatherandmotherlovedtheotherchildren；butnotme。Imightcomehomeatnight，fairlyburstingwithimportantnewsaboutwhathadhappenedinclassoramongmyfriends，andtrytorelatemylittlehistories。Butdidmotherlisten？Notatall。ShewouldnodlikeamandarinwhileItalked，orgoonturningtheleavesofherbook，orwritingherletter。
WhatIsaidwasofnoimportancetoher。
Fatherwasevenlessinterested。Hefranklytoldmetokeepstill，andwentonwiththeaccountsinwhichhewassoabsurdlyinterested，orexamined\"papers\"——stupid-lookingthingsdoneonlegalcap，whichhebroughthomewithhimfromtheoffice。NoonekissedmewhenIstartedawayinthemorn-
ing；noonekissedmewhenIcamehomeatnight。Iwenttobedunkissed。I
feltmyselftobealonelyandmisunder-
stoodchild——perhapsevenanadoptedone。
Why，Iknewalittlegirlwho，whenshewentuptoherroomatnight，foundthebedclothesturnedback，andtheshadedrawn，andascreenplacedsoastokeepoffdrafts。Andhermotherbrushedherhairtwentyminutesbytheclockeachnight，tomakeitglossy；andthenshesatbyherbedandsangsoftlytillthegirlfellasleep。
Inotonlyhadtoopenmyownbed，butthebedsfortheotherchildren，andalthoughIsometimesfeltmymother’shandtuckinginthebedclothesroundme，sheneverstoopedandkissedmeonthebrowandsaid，\"Blessyou，mychild。\"Noone，inallmyexperience，hadsaid，\"Blessyou，mychild。\"WhenthegirlIhavespokenofcameintotheroom，hermotherreachedoutherarmsandsaid，beforeeverybody，\"Herecomesmydearlittlegirl。\"WhenI
cameintoaroom，Iwasusuallytoldtodosomethingforsomebody。Itwas\"Pleaseseeifthefireneedsmorewood，\"or\"Letthecatin，please，\"or\"I’dlikeyoutoweedthepansybedbe-
foresupper-time。\"
Inthesecircumstances，lifehardlyseemedworthliving。IdecidedthatI
hadmadeamistakeinchoosingmyfamily。Itdidnotappreciateme，anditfailedtomakemyyounglifeglad。
Iknewmyyounglifeoughttobeglad。
Anditwasnot。Itwasdrab，asdrabasToot’soldrain-coat。
Tootwas\"ourcolouredboy。\"Thatisthewaywedescribedhim。Fatherhadbroughthimhomefromthewar，andhadsenthimtoschool，andthenapprenticedhimtoamiller。Tootdid\"chores\"forhisboardandclothes，butwassoontobehisownman，andtobepaidmoneybythemiller，andtomarryTululaDarthulaJones，anicecolouredgirlwholivedwiththeCut-
lers。
ThetimehadbeenwhenToothadbeenmyself-appointedslave。Almostmyfirstrecollectionswereofhiscarry-
ingmeouttoseethetrainpass，andsaying，\"Toot，toot！\"inimitationofthelocomotive；so，althoughhehadratherasplendidname，Icalledhim\"Toot，\"andthewholetownfollowedmyexample。Yes，thetimehadbeenwhenTootsawmesafetoschool，andslippedlittleredapplesintomypocket，andtookmeoutwhilehemilkedthecow，andtoldmestoriesandsangmeplantationsongs。Now，whenhepassed，heonlynodded。WhenIspoketohimabouthisnotgivingmeanymoreap-
ples，hesaid：
\"Ahreckonthey’reyourpa’sap-
ples，missy。Why，fo’goodness’sake，don’yo’he’pyo’se’f？\"
ButIdidnotwanttohelpmyself。
Iwantedtobehelped——notbecauseI
waslazy，butbecauseIwantedtobeadored。Iwasreallyasortoffairyprincess，——misplaced，ofcourse，inastupidrepublic，——andIwantedlifecon-
ductedonafairy-princessbasis。ItwasagameIwishedtoplay，butitwasoneIcouldnotplayalone，andnotasoulcouldIfindwhoseemedinclinedtoplayitwithme。
Well，thingswentfrombadtoworse。
Idecidedthatifmothernolongerlovedme，Iwouldnolongertellherthings。
SoIdidnot。Igotahundredinspell-
ingfortwelvedaysrunning，anddidnottellher！IbrokeEdnaGrantham’smother’swater-pitcher，andkeptthefactasecret。Thesecretwas，indeed，assharp-edgedasthepiecesofthebrokenpitcherhadbeen；Icriedunderthebedclothes，thinkinghowsorryMrs。
Granthamhadbeen，andthatmotherreallyoughttoknow。Onlywhatwastheuse？Inolongerlookedtohertohelpmeoutofmytroubles。
Ihadnoneednowtohavefatherandmothertellmetohurryupandfinishmychatter，forIkeptallthathap-
penedtomyself。Ihadanew\"intimatefriend，\"anddidnotsomuchasmen-
tionher。Iwroteapoemandshowedittomyteacher，butnottomyunin-
terestedparents。AndwhenIclimbedthestairsatnighttomyroom，Iswelledwithlonelinessandanguishandresent-
ment，andthehottearscametomyeyesasIheardfatherandmotherlaughingandtalkingtogetherandpayingnoat-
tentiontomymisery。IcouldhearToot，whousedtobemakingallsortsoflittlepresentsforme，whistlingashebroughtinthewoodandwater，andthen\"cleanedup\"togotoseehisTulula，withneverathoughtofme。
AndIsaidtomyselfthatthebestthingIcoulddowastogrowupandgetawayfromaplacewhereIwasnolongerwanted。
Noonenoticedmysufferingsfurtherthansometimestosayimpatiently，\"Whatmakesyouactsostrange，child？\"Andtothat，ofcourse，Ian-
swerednothing，forwhatIhadtosaywouldnot，Ifelt，beunderstood。
OnemorninginJuneIlefthomewithmyresentmentburningfiercelywithinme。Ihadnotcaredforthethingswehadforbreakfast，forIwashalf-illwithfrettingandwiththeclosenessoftheday，butmylackofappetitehadbeenpassedbywiththeremarkthatanyonewaslikelynottohaveanap-
petiteonsuchacloseday。ButIwassolanguid，andsoaversetotakinguptheusualroundofthings，thatIbeggedmothertoletmestayathome。Sheshookherheaddecidedly。
\"You’vebeenoutofschooltoomanydaysalreadythisterm，\"shesaid。
\"Runalongnow，oryou’llhelate！\"
\"Please——\"Ibegan，formyheadreallywaswhirling，although，quiteasmuch，perhaps，frommyperversityasfromanyothercause。Motherturnedonmeoneofher\"lastword\"glances。
\"Gotoschoolwithoutanotherword，\"
shesaid，quietly。
Iknewthatquiettone，andIwent。
AndnowIwassurethatallwasoverbetweenmyparentsandmyself。Ibe-
gantowonderifIneedreallywaittillIwasgrownupbeforeleavinghome。
SomiserablyabsorbedwasIinthink-
ingofthis，andinpityingmyselfwithaconsumingpity，thateverythingatschoolseemedtopassliketheshadowofadream。IblunderedinwhateverItriedtodo，wassharplyscoldedfornothearingtheteacheruntilshehadspokenmynamethreetimes，andwasholdingontomyselfdesperatelyinmyefforttokeepbackafloodoftears，whenIbecameawarethatsomethingwashappening。
Theresuddenlywasaperfectsilenceintheroom——thesortofsilencethatmakestheheartbeattoofast。Themistswimmingbeforemedidnot，Iper-
ceived，comefrommyowneyes，butfromthechangingcolouroftheair，theusualtransparencyofwhichwasbeingtingedwithyellow。Thesultrinessofthedaywasdeepening，andseemedtocarryathreatwithit。
\"Somethingisgoingtohappen，\"
thoughtI，andoverthewholeroomspreadthesameconviction。Electriccurrentsseemedtosnapfromonecon-
sciousnesstoanother。Wedroppedourbooks，andturnedoureyestowardthewesternwindows，tolookuponachangedworld。Itwasasifwepeeredthroughyellowglass。Intheskysoft-
looking，tawnycloudscametumblingalonglikeplayfulcats——ortigers。A
momentlaterwesawthattheywerenotplayful，butangry；theystretchedoutclaws，andsnarledastheydidso。
Oneclawreachedthetallchimneysoftheschoolhouse，anothertappedatthecupola，onewasthrustthroughthewallnearwhereIsat。
Thenitgrewblack，andtherewasabellowingallaboutus，sothatthecom-
mandsoftheteacherandthescreamsofthechildrenbarelycouldbeheard。
Iknewlittleornothing。Myshoulderwasstinging，somethinghadhitmeonthesideofthehead，myeyeswerefullofdustandmortar，andmyfeetwerecarryingmewiththeothersalongthecorridor，downthetwoflightsofwidestairs。Idonotthinkwepushedeachotherorwerereckless。Myrecollec-
tionisonlyofmanyshadowyfiguresflyingonwithsurefeetoutofthebuild-
ingthatseemedtobefallinginuponus。
Presentlywewereoutontheland-
ingbeforethedoor，withonemoreflightofstepsbeforeus，thatreachedtothestreet。Somethingsostrongthatitmightnotbedeniedgatheredmeupininvisiblearms，whirledmeroundonceortwiceanddroppedme，notun-
gently，inthemiddleoftheroad。Andthen，asIstruggledtomykneesand，wipingthedustfrommyeyes，lookedup，Isawdozensofothersbeingliftedinthesameway，andblownoffintotheyardorthestreet。Thelargeronesweretryingtoholdontothesmaller，andtheteacherswereendeavouringtokeepthechildrenfromgoingoutofthebuilding，buttheireffortswereofnoavail。Thechildrencameon，andwereblownaboutlikeleaves。
ThenIsawwhatlookedlikeahighyellowwalladvancinguponme——aroar-
ingandfearsomemassofdrivendust，sticks，debris。Itcameovermethatmyownhomemightbethere，instripsandfragments，tobeatmedownandkillme；andwiththethoughtcameaswiftlittlevisionoutofmygeographyoftheArabsinasand-stormonthedesert。I
gatheredupmyflutteringdressskirt，heldittightaboutmyhead，andlayflatupontheground。
Itseemedasifalongtimepassed，atimeinwhichIknewverylittleex-
ceptthatIwasfightingformybreathasIneverhadfoughtforanything。
Thereweremorehurtsandbruisesnow，buttheydidnotmatter。Justtodrawmyownbreathinmyownwayseemedtobetheonlythingintheworldthatwasofanyaccount。Andthentherewasashaftofflame，anear-
splittingroar，andtherainwasuponusinsheets，instreams，invisibleriv-
ers。
Iimaginedthatitwouldlastalongtime，andwonderedinadazehowI
couldgethomeinarainlikethat——
forIshouldhavetofaceit。Icouldseethatinafewsecondstheguttershadbeguntorace，theroadwhereI
laywasastream，andthen——thentherainceased。Neverwasanythingsoastonishing。Theskycameoutblue，tatteredragsofcloudracedacrossit，andIhadtimetoconcludethat，whip-
pedandalmostbreathlessthoughI
was，Iwasstillalive。
AndthenIsawacurioussight。Downthestreetineverydirectioncamerush-
inghatlessmenandwomen。Hereandthereawild-eyedhorsewasbeinglashedalong。Allthetownwascoming。
Theywereintheirworkclothes，intheirslippers，intheirwrappers——theywereinanythingandeverything。Someofthemsobbedastheyran，somecalledaloudnamesthatIknew。Theywerefathersandmotherslookingfortheirchildren。
Andwhowasthat——thatwomanwithawhiteface，withhairfallingabouthershoulders，whereithadfallenassheran——thatwomanwhosebreathcamebetweenherteethstrangelyandwhocalledmynameoverandover，bleat-
ingly，asamothersheepcallsitslamb？
AtfirstIdidnotrecogniseher，andthen，atlast，Iknew。Andthatcreaturewiththerollingeyesandthecuriousash-colouredfacewho，mumblingsome-
thingoverandoverinhisthroat，cameforme，andsnatchedmeupandwipedmyfacefreeofmud，andfeltofmehereandtherewithtremblinghands——
whowashe？
Andbreakingoutofthecrowdofmenwhohadcomerunningfromthestreetofstoresandoffices，wasan-
otherstrangebeing，withasortofbat-
tlelightinhiseyes，who，seeingme，gatheredmetohimandboremeawaytowardhome。Lookingback，IcouldseethewomanIknewfollowing，lean-
ingonthearmoftheboywiththeroll-
ingeyes，whoseeyeshadceasedtoroll，andwhowasquiterecognisablenowasToot。
Ahappinessthatwasalmostaster-
ribleassorrowwelledupinmyheart。
Ididnotweep，orlaugh，ortalk。AllIhadexperiencedhadcarriedmebe-
yondmereexcitementintoexultation。
Iexultedinlife，inlove。Myconceitandsulkinessdiedinthatstorm，asdidmanyanotherthing。Iwasalive。I
wasloved。Isaiditoverandovertomyselfsilently，in\"myheart’sdeepcore，\"whilemotherwashedmewithtremblinghandsinmyowndearroom，boundupmyhurts，braidedmyhair，andputme，inafreshnight-dress，intomybed。Idonotrecallthatwetalkedtoeachother，butineverycaressofherhandsassheworkedIfelttheun-
spokenassurancesofalovesuchasI
hadnotdreamedof。
Fatherhadgonerunningbacktotheschooltoseeifhecouldbeofanyas-
sistancetohisneighbours，andhadtakenTootwithhim，buttheywerebackpresentlytosaythatbeyondafewsharpinjuriesandbrokenbones，noharmhadbeendonetothechildren。Itwasconsideredmiraculousthatnoonehadbeenkilledorseriouslyinjured，andInoticedthatfather’svoicetrem-
bledashetoldofit，andthatmothercouldnotanswer，andthatTootsobbedlikeabigsillyboy。
Thenaswetalkedtogether，behold，asecondstormwasuponus——asharpblackblastofwindandrain，notter-
rifying，liketheother，butwithan\"I’ve-come-to-spend-the-day\"sortofaspect。
Butnooneseemedtomindverymuch。Iwascarrieddowntothesit-
ting-room。Tootbusiedhimselfcom-
ingandgoingonthiserrandandonthat，fasteningthedoors，closingthewindows，runningouttoseetotheani-
mals，andcomingbackagain。Fatherandmothersetthetable。Theykeptclosetogether；andnowandthentheylookedoveratme，withoutsayingany-
thing，butwithshiningeyes。
Thestormdieddowntoaquietrain。
Fromtheroofoftheporchthedropsfellinsilverstrings，likebeads。Thenthesuncameoutandturnedthemintoshiningcrystal。Thebirdsbegantosingagain，andwhenwethrewopenthewindowsdeliciousodoursoffreshearthandfloweringshrubgreetedus。Motherbegantosingassheworked。AndI
sanksoftlytosleep，thrilledwiththemarvelsoftheworld——notofthetem-
pest，butofthepeace。
Thesweetfamiliarityofthefacesandthewallsandthefurnitureandthegardenwaslikeablessing。TherewasnotachairtherethatIwouldhaveex-
changedforanyotherchair——notatreethatIwouldhavepartedwith——notacustomofthatsimple，busyplacethatIwouldhavechanged。Iknewnowallmystupidity——andmygoodfortune。
III
FRIENDSHIP
WHENIlookbackuponthevillagewhereIlivedasachild，Ican-
notrememberthattherewereanydivi-
sionsinoursociety。ThisgroupwenttotheCongregationalchurch，andthattothePresbyterian，buteachfamilyfeltitselftobeasgoodasanyother，andevenif，ordinarily，someofthemwithdrewthemselvesinmildexclusive-
ness，onalloccasionsofpubliccelebra-
tion，orwhenintrouble，westoodto-
getherinthepleasantestandmostun-
affecteddemocracy。
Therewereonlythe\"BadMadi-
gans\"outsidethepale。
ThefactsabouttheBadMadiganswere，nodoubt，seriousenough，butthefictionwasevenmoreappalling。Astofacts，thefatherdrank，themotherfol-
lowedsuit，theappearanceofthehouse——aramshackleoldplacebeyondthefair-grounds——wasascandal；thechil-
drencouldnotbegottogotoschoolforanylengthoftime，and，whentheywerethere，eachclassinwhichtheywereputfeltitselftobeindisgrace，andthedislikefocuseduponthein-
truders，sentthem，sullenandhateful，backtotheirlair。And，indeed，theMadiganhouseseemedlittlemorethanalair。Ithadbeenratherafinehouseonce，andhadbeenbuiltfortheoc-
cupancyofthemanwhoownedthefair-
grounds；buthechoosingfinallytoliveinthevillage，hadpermittedthehousetofallintodecay，untilonlyafamilywithnosenseoforderorself-respectwouldthinkofoccupyingit。
Whenthereoccurredoneoftherareburglariesinthevillage，whenanythingwasmissingfromaclothes-line，oracalforpigdisappeared，itwasgen-
erallylaidtotheMadigans。Unac-
counted-forfiresweresupposedtobetheirdoing；theywereaccordedrespon-
sibilityforviciouspracticaljokes；anditwasgenerallyfeltthatbeforewewerethroughwiththemtheywouldcommitsomeblood-curdlingcrime。
When，assometimeshappened，IhadmetoneoftheBadMadigansontheroad，ordownonthevillagestreet，myhearthadbeatenasifIwasfacetofacewithacompanyofbanditti；butIcannotsaythatthisexcitementwascausedbyaversionalone。Thetruthwas，theBadMadigansfascinatedme。
Theystoodoutfromalltheothers，proudlyanddisdainfullylikeRobinHoodandhisband，andIcouldnotgetovertheideathattheysaid：\"Fetchmeyonderbow！\"toeachother；or，\"Goslaughtermeaten-tinedbuck！\"I
feltthattheywerefortunateinnotbe-
inghelddowntohoursliketherestofus。Outofbedatsix-thirty，attablebyseven，tidyingbedroomatseven-
thirty，dustingsitting-roomateight，onwaytoschoolateight-thirty，wasnotfor\"thelikesofthem！\"Onlywe，slavesofrespectabilityandofaninor-
dinateappetitefororder，sufferedsuchmonotonyanddrabnesstorule。IknewtheMadiganboyscouldgofishingwhenevertheypleased，thattheMadi-
gangirlspickedtheblackberriesbeforeanyoneelsecouldgetouttothem，thateverymemberofthefamilycouldpackupandgopicnickingfordaysatatime，andthatanystrayhorsewaslikelytoberiddenbareback，withinaninchofitslife，bytheyoungermem-
bersofthefamily。
Onlyoncehowever，didIhaveachancetomeetoneofthesemodernVisigothsfacetoface，andthefeelingsarousedbythatincidentremainedthedarlingsecretofmyyouth。Idaredtellnoone，andIlonged，yetfeared，tohavetheexperiencerepeated。Butitneverwas！Ithappenedinthisway：
OnacertainSundayafternooninMay，myfatherandmotherandIwenttoEmmons’Woods。ToreachEm-
mons’Woods，youwentoutthebackdoor，pastthepumpandthecurrantbushes，thendownthepathtothechicken-houses，andsoon，bywayofthewoodpile，tothesouthgate。Afterthat，youwentwesttowardtheclovermeadows，pastthehousewheretheCrazyLadylived——here，ifyouwerealone，youran——andthen，reachingthevergeofthewoods，youtookyourchoiceofclimbingaseven-railfenceorofwalkingaquarterofamiletillyoucametothebars。ThelatterwasmuchbetterforthelaceonaSundaypetti-
coat。
OnceinEmmons’Woods，therewasenchantment。Aneaglemightcome——
orablueheron。TherehadbeenbearsinEmmons’Woods——bearswithroll-
ingeyesandredmouthsfromwhichtheirtongueslolled。Therewasoneplaceforpinkytrillium，andanotherforgentians；onefortawnyadders’
tongues，andanotherforyellowDutch-
man’sbreeches。Inthesap-startingseason，themaplesdrippedtheirlus-
cioussapintolittlewoodencups；later，partridgesnestedinthesun-burnedgrass。Therewasnolakeorriver，buttherewasapond，swarmingwithavivaciouspopulation，andonthehard-
bakedclayofthepondbeachthegreenbeetlesairedtheirsplendidchangeablesilksandsandpipershoppedridicu-
lously。
Itwas，curiouslyenough，easiertorunthantowalkinEmmons’Woods，andevenmorenaturaltodancethantorun。Onebecameacquaintedwithsquirrels，establishedintimacieswithchipmunks，andwasonsomesortofcivilrelationwithblackbirds。And，oh，thetossinggreenoftheyoungwil-
lows，wherethelilacdistancemeltedintothepaleblueofthesky！And，oh，thebuddingofthemaplesandthefring-
ingoftheoaks；and，oh，theblossom-
ingofthetuliptreesandthegarner-
ingofthechestnuts！Andthen，thewrigglingthingsinthegrass；thepro-
cessionofants；thecoquetriesoftherobins；andtheBeyond，deepening，deepeningintotheforestwhereitwassafeonlyforthewoodsmentogo。
OnthisparticularSundayoneofuswasrequestednottosquealandrunabout，andtorememberthatweworeourbestshoesandneednotmessthemunnecessarily。Itwashardtobere-
mindedjustwhenthedancewasgettingintomyfeet，butItriedtohaveSun-
daymanners，andwentalonginthestillwoods，wonderingwhythepurplecol-
oursdisappearedaswecameonandwhathadbeendistancebecamenear-
ness。Therewasabeautiful，achingvaguenessovereverything，anditwasnotstrangethatfather，whohadstretchedhimselfonthemoss，andmother，whowasreadingGodey’sLa-
dies’Book，shouldpresentlybothofthembenodding。So，thatbeingawell-
establishedfact——Iestablisheditbyhangingoverthemandstaringattheireyelids——itseemedagoodtimeformetoletthedanceoutofmytoes。Stillcarefulofmyfreshlinenfrock，andrememberingaboutthebestshoes，I
wenton，demurely，downthegreenal-
leysofthewood。NowIsteppedonpatchesofsunshine，nowinpoolsofshadow。IthoughtofhownaughtyI
wastorunawaylikethis，andofwhatamistakepeoplemadewhosaidIwasagood，quiet，child。IknewthatI
lookedsadandprim，butIreallyhatedmysadnessandprimnessandgood-
ness，andlongedtoletoutallthein-
teresting，wild，naughtythoughtstherewereinme。IwantedtoactasifIwerebewitched，andtotearupvinesandwindthemaboutme，toshriektotheechoes，andtoscoldbackatthesquir-
rels。Iwantedtotakeoffmyclothesandrushintothepond，andswimlikeafish，orwrigglelikeapollywog。I
wantedtoclimbtreesanddropfromthem；and，mostofall——oh，withwhatlonging——didIwishtoliftmyselfabovetheearthandflyintotheblandblueair！
Icametoahollowwheretherewasawonderfulgreennessovereverything，andIsaidtomyselfthatIwouldbebewitchedatlast。Iwoulddanceandwhirlandcalltill，perhaps，somekindofacreatureaswildandwickedandwonderfulasI，wouldcomeoutofthewoodsandjoinme。SoIforgotaboutthefreshlinenfrock，andwreathedmy-
selfwithwildgrape-vine；Icarednoth-
ingformyfreshbraidsandwoundtrilliuminmyhair；andIceasedtore-
membermynewshoes，andwhirledaroundandaroundintheleafymould，singingandshouting。
Igrewmadderandmadder。Iseemednottobemyselfatall，butsomesortofawoodcreature；andjustwhenthetreeswerelookinglargerthanevertheydidbefore，andtheskyhigherup，agirlcamerunningdownfromasortofembankmentwhereatornadohadmadeapathforitselfandhadhurledsomegreatchestnutsandoaksinatumbledmass。Thegirlcameleapingdownthesteepsidesofthisplace，herarmsout-
spread，herfeetbare，herdressnomorethanaragthecolourofthetree-trunks。
Shehadonatorngreenjacket，whichmadeherseemmorethaneverlikesomeonewhohadjuststeppedoutofahollowtree，and，tomyunspeakablehappiness，shejoinedmeinmydance。
Ishallneverforgethowbeautifulshewas，withherwildtangleofdarkhair，andherdeepblueeyesandripelips。
Hercheekswereflamingred，andherlimbsstrongandbrown。Shedidnotmerelyshoutandsing；shewhistled，andmadecallslikethebirds，andcawedlikeacrow，andchitteredlikeasquir-
rel，andaroundandaroundthetwoofusdanced，crazyasdervisheswiththebeautyofthespringandthejoyofbe-
ingfree。
Byandbyweweresotiredwehadtostop，andthenwesatdownpantingandlookedateachother。Atthatwelaughed，longandfoolishly，but，afteratime，itoccurredtousthatwehadmanyquestionstoask。
\"Howdidyougethere？\"Iaskedthegirl。
\"Iwaswalkingmylone，\"shesaid，speakingherwordsasiftherewasarichthickqualitytothem，\"andI
heardyouscreeling。\"
\"Won’tyougetlost，alonelikethat？\"
\"Ican’tgetlost，\"shesighed。\"I’dliketo，butIcan’t。\"
\"Wheredoyoulive？\"
\"Beyantthefair-grounds。\"
\"You’renot——notNorahMadigan？\"
Sheleanedbackandclaspedherhandsbehindherhead。Thenshesmiledatmeteasingly。
\"Iamthat，\"shesaid，showingherperfectteeth。
Icaughtmybreathwithasharpgasp。OughtItoturnbacktomypar-
ents？HadIbeensonaughtythatI
hadcalledthenaughtiestgirlinthewholecountyouttome？
ButIcouldnotbringmyselftoleaveher。Shewasleaningforwardandlookingatmenowwithmockingeyes。
\"Areyouafraid？\"shedemanded。
\"Afraidofwhat？\"Iasked，knowingquitewellwhatshemeant。
\"Ofme？\"sheretorted。
Atthatsecondanagreeabletruthovertookme。Ileanedforward，too，andputmyhandonhers。
\"Why，Ilikeyou！\"Icried。Shebe-
ganlaughingagain，butthistimetherewasnomockeryinit。Sheranherfin-
gersovertheembroideryonmylinenfrock，sheexaminedthelaceonmypet-
ticoat，lookedatthebowsonmyshoes，andplayeddelicatelywiththelocketdanglingfromtheslenderchainaroundmyneck。
\"Doyouknow——othergirls？\"sheal-
mostwhispered。
Inodded。\"Lotsandlotsof’em，\"
Isaid。\"Don’tyou？\"
Sheshookherheadinwistfuldenial。
\"UsMadigans，\"shesaid，\"keepstoourselves。\"ShesaiditsohaughtilythatforamomentIwasalmostper-
suadedintothinkingthattheylivedtheirsolitarylivesfromchoice。But，glancingupather，Isawablushthatcoveredherface，andthereweretearsinhereyes。
\"Well，anyway，\"saidIquickly，\"weknoweachother。\"
\"Yes，\"shecried，\"wedothat！\"
Shegotup，then，andrantoagreattreefromwhichastoutgrape-vinewasswinging，andpullingatitwithherstrongarms，shesoonhaditmadeintoapracticalswing。
\"Come！\"shecalled——\"come，let’sswingtogether！\"
Shehelpedmetobalancemyselfontherope-likevine，and，placingherfeetoutsideofmine，showedmehowto\"workup\"tillweweresweepingwithafinemomentumthroughtheair。Weshriekedwithexcitement，andurgedeachotherontomoreandmorefranticexertions。Wewereliketwobirds，buttobirdsflyingisnonovelty。Withusitwas，whichmadeushappierthanbirds。ButI，formypart，wasnomoredelightedwithmyswiftflightsthroughtheairthanIwaswiththeshiningeyesandflashingteethofthegirloppositeme。Ilikedherstrength，andthewayinwhichherbodybentandswayed。
Oncemore，sheseemedlikeawood-
child——awild，mad，gaycreaturefromthetree。IfeltasifIhaddrawnaplay-
matefromelf-land，andIlikedherathousandtimesbetterthanthoseproperlittlegirlswhocametoseemeofaSaturdayafternoon。
Well，therewewere，rockingandscreaming，andtellingeachotherthatwewerehawks，andthatwewerefly-
inghighovertheworld，whentheanx-
iousandausterevoiceofmymotherbrokeuponourears。Wetriedtostop，butthatwasnotsuchaneasymattertodo，andaswetwistedandwrithed，tobringourgrape-vineswingtoastandstill，therewasaslowrendingandbreakingwhichstruckterrortooursouls。
\"Jump！\"commandedNorah——
\"jump！thevine’sbreaking！\"Weleapedatthesamemoment，shesafely。
Myfootcaughtinastouttendril，andIfellheadlong，scrapingmyforeheadonthegroundandtearingatriangularrentinthepretty，newfrock。Mothercamerunningforward，andtheexpres-
siononherfacewasfarfrombeingtheoneIlikedtosee。
\"Whathaveyoubeendoing？\"shedemanded。\"Ithoughtyouwereget-
tingoldenoughandsensibleenoughtotakecareofyourself！\"
Imusthavebeenadepressingsight，viewedwiththeeyesofacarefulmother。Bloodandmouldmingledonmyface，mydressneededalaundressasbadlyasadresscould，andmyshoeswerescratchedandmuddy。
\"Andwhoisthisgirl？\"askedmother。IhadbecomeconsciousthatNorahwasatmyfeet，wipingoffmyshoeswithherqueerlittlebrownfrock。
\"It’sanewfriendofmine，\"gaspedI，beginningtoseethatImustloseher，andhopingthelumpinmythroatwouldn’tgetanybiggerthanitwas。
\"Whatishername？\"askedmother。
Ihadnotimetoanswer。Thegirldidthat。
\"I’mNorahMadigan，\"shesaid。
Hertonewasrespectful，and，maybe，sad。Atanyrate，ithadacurioussound。
\"NorahMad-i-gan？\"askedmotherdoubtfully，stringingouttheword。
\"Yessum，\"saidalowvoice。\"Good-
bye，mum。\"
\"Oh，Norah！\"criedI，astrangepainstabbingmyheart。\"Cometoseeme——\"
Butmymother’svoicebrokein，firmandkind。
