第3章

类别:其他 作者:Johann Wolfgang von Goethe字数:23736更新时间:19/01/03 15:50:52
Couldyoubutseeme,mydearCharlotte,inthewhirlofdissipation,——howmysensesaredriedup,butmyheartisatnotimefull。Ienjoynosinglemomentofhappiness:allisvain—— nothingtouchesme。Istand,asitwere,beforetheraree-show: Iseethelittlepuppetsmove,andIaskwhetheritisnotanopticalillusion。Iamamusedwiththesepuppets,or,rather,I ammyselfoneofthem:but,whenIsometimesgraspmyneighbour’shand,Ifeelthatitisnotnatural;andIwithdrawminewithashudder。IntheeveningIsayIwillenjoythenextmorning’ssunrise,andyetIremaininbed:inthedayIpromisetoramblebymoonlight;andI,nevertheless,remainathome。IknownotwhyIrise,norwhyIgotosleep。 Theleavenwhichanimatedmyexistenceisgone:thecharmwhichcheeredmeinthegloomofnight,andarousedmefrommymorningslumbers,isforeverfled。 Ihavefoundbutonebeingheretointerestme,aMissB——。Sheresemblesyou,mydearCharlotte,ifanyonecanpossiblyresembleyou。\"Ah!\"youwillsay,\"hehaslearnedhowtopayfinecompliments。\" Andthisispartlytrue。Ihavebeenveryagreeablelately,asitwasnotinmypowertobeotherwise。Ihave,moreover,adealofwit:andtheladiessaythatnooneunderstandsflatterybetter,orfalsehoodsyouwilladd;sincetheoneaccomplishmentinvariablyaccompaniestheother。ButImusttellyouofMissB——。Shehasabundanceofsoul,whichflashesfromherdeepblueeyes。Herrankisatormenttoher,andsatisfiesnoonedesireofherheart。 Shewouldgladlyretirefromthiswhirloffashion,andweoftenpicturetoourselvesalifeofundisturbedhappinessindistantscenesofruralretirement:andthenwespeakofyou,mydearCharlotte;forsheknowsyou,andrendershomagetoyourmerits; butherhomageisnotexacted,butvoluntary,shelovesyou,anddelightstohearyoumadethesubjectofconversation。 Oh,thatIweresittingatyourfeetinyourfavouritelittleroom,withthedearchildrenplayingaroundus!Iftheybecametroublesometoyou,Iwouldtellthemsomeappallinggoblinstory;andtheywouldcrowdroundmewithsilentattention。Thesunissettinginglory;hislastraysareshiningonthesnow,whichcoversthefaceofthecountry:thestormisover,andImustreturntomydungeon。Adieu!——IsAlbertwithyou?andwhatishetoyou?Godforgivethequestion。 FEBRUARY8。 Foraweekpastwehavehadthemostwretchedweather:butthistomeisablessing;for,duringmyresidencehere,notasinglefinedayhasbeamedfromtheheavens,buthasbeenlosttomebytheintrusionofsomebody。Duringtheseverityofrain,sleet,frost,andstorm,Icongratulatemyselfthatitcannotbeworseindoorsthanabroad,norworseabroadthanitiswithindoors;andsoIbecomereconciled。Whenthesunrisesbrightinthemorning,andpromisesagloriousday,Ineveromittoexclaim,\"There,now,theyhaveanotherblessingfromHeaven,whichtheywillbesuretodestroy:theyspoileverything,——health,fame,happiness,amusement;andtheydothisgenerallythroughfolly,ignorance,orimbecility,andalways,accordingtotheirownaccount,withthebestintentions!\"Icouldoftenbeseechthem,onmybendedknees,tobelessresolvedupontheirowndestruction。 FEBRUARY17。 IfearthatmyambassadorandIshallnotcontinuemuchlongertogether。Heisreallygrowingpastendurance。Hetransactshisbusinessinsoridiculousamanner,thatIamoftencompelledtocontradicthim,anddothingsmyownway;andthen,ofcourse,hethinksthemveryilldone。Hecomplainedofmelatelyonthisaccountatcourt;andtheministergavemeareprimand,——agentleoneitistrue,butstillareprimand。Inconsequenceofthis,Iwasabouttotendermyresignation,whenIreceivedaletter,towhichIsubmittedwithgreatrespect,onaccountofthehigh,noble,andgenerousspiritwhichdictatedit。Heendeavouredtosoothemyexcessivesensibility,paidatributetomyextremeideasofduty,ofgoodexample,andofperseveranceinbusiness,asthefruitofmyyouthfulardour,animpulsewhichhedidnotseektodestroy,butonlytomoderate,thatitmighthaveproperplayandbeproductiveofgood。SonowIamatrestforanotherweek,andnolongeratvariancewithmyself。Contentandpeaceofmindarevaluablethings:Icouldwish,mydearfriend,thatthesepreciousjewelswerelesstransitory。 FERRUARY20。 Godblessyou,mydearfriends,andmayhegrantyouthathappinesswhichhedeniestome! Ithankyou,Albert,forhavingdeceivedme。Iwaitedforthenewsthatyourwedding-daywasfixed;andIintendedonthatday,withsolemnity,totakedownCharlotte’sprofilefromthewall,andtoburyitwithsomeotherpapersIpossess。Youarenowunited,andherpicturestillremainshere。Well,letitremain! Whyshoulditnot?IknowthatIamstilloneofyoursociety,thatIstilloccupyaplaceuninjuredinCharlotte’sheart,thatIholdthesecondplacetherein;andIintendtokeepit。Oh,I shouldbecomemadifshecouldforget!Albert,thatthoughtishell!Farewell,Albertfarewell,angelofheavenfarewell,Charlotte! MARCH15。 Ihavejusthadasadadventure,whichwilldrivemeawayfromhere。Iloseallpatience!——Death!——Itisnottoberemedied; andyoualonearetoblame,foryouurgedandimpelledmetofillapostforwhichIwasbynomeanssuited。Ihavenowreasontobesatisfied,andsohaveyou!But,thatyoumaynotagainattributethisfatalitytomyimpetuoustemper,Isendyou,mydearsir,aplainandsimplenarrationoftheaffair,asamerechronicleroffactswoulddescribeit。 TheCountofO——likesanddistinguishesme。Itiswellknown,andIhavementionedthistoyouahundredtimes。YesterdayI dinedwithhim。Itisthedayonwhichthenobilityareaccustomedtoassembleathishouseintheevening。Ineveroncethoughtoftheassembly,northatwesubalternsdidnotbelongtosuchsociety。 Well,Idinedwiththecount;and,afterdinner,weadjournedtothelargehall。Wewalkedupanddowntogether:andIconversedwithhim,andwithColonelB——,whojoinedus;andinthismannerthehourfortheassemblyapproached。Godknows,Iwasthinkingofnothing,whenwhoshouldenterbutthehonourableLadyaccompaniedbyhernoblehusbandandtheirsilly,schemingdaughter,withhersmallwaistandflatneck;and,withdisdainfullooksandahaughtyairtheypassedmeby。AsIheartilydetestthewholerace,I determinedupongoingaway;andonlywaitedtillthecounthaddisengagedhimselffromtheirimpertinentprattle,totakeleave,whentheagreeableMissB——camein。AsInevermeetherwithoutexperiencingaheartfeltpleasure,Istayedandtalkedtoher,leaningoverthebackofherchair,anddidnotperceive,tillaftersometime,thatsheseemedalittleconfused,andceasedtoanswermewithherusualeaseofmanner。Iwasstruckwithit。 \"Heavens!\"Isaidtomyself,\"canshe,too,beliketherest?\"I feltannoyed,andwasabouttowithdraw;butIremained,notwithstanding,formingexcusesforherconduct,fancyingshedidnotmeanit,andstillhopingtoreceivesomefriendlyrecognition。 Therestofthecompanynowarrived。TherewastheBaronF——,inanentiresuitthatdatedfromthecoronationofFrancisI。;theChancellorN——,withhisdeafwife;theshabbily-dressedI——,whoseold-fashionedcoatboreevidenceofmodernrepairs:thiscrownedthewhole。Iconversedwithsomeofmyacquaintances,buttheyansweredmelaconically。IwasengagedinobservingMissB——,anddidnotnoticethatthewomenwerewhisperingattheendoftheroom,thatthemurmurextendedbydegreestothemen,thatMadameS——addressedthecountwithmuchwarmth(thiswasallrelatedtomesubsequentlybyMissB——);tillatlengththecountcameuptome,andtookmetothewindow。\"Youknowourridiculouscustoms,\" hesaid。\"Iperceivethecompanyisratherdispleasedatyourbeinghere。Iwouldnotonanyaccount——\"\"Ibegyourexcellency’spardon!\"Iexclaimed。\"Ioughttohavethoughtofthisbefore,butIknowyouwillforgivethislittleinattention。Iwasgoing,\" Iadded,\"sometimeago,butmyevilgeniusdetainedme。\"AndI smiledandbowed,totakemyleave。Heshookmebythehand,inamannerwhichexpressedeverything。Ihastenedatoncefromtheillustriousassembly,sprangintoacarriage,anddrovetoM——。 Icontemplatedthesettingsunfromthetopofthehill,andreadthatbeautifulpassageinHomer,whereUlyssesisentertainedbythehospitableherdsmen。Thiswasindeeddelightful。 Ireturnedhometosupperintheevening。Butfewpersonswereassembledintheroom。Theyhadturnedupacornerofthetable-cloth,andwereplayingatdice。Thegood-naturedA——camein。Helaiddownhishatwhenhesawme,approachedme,andsaidinalowtone,\"Youhavemetwithadisagreeableadventure。\"\"I!\"Iexclaimed。 \"Thecountobligedyoutowithdrawfromtheassembly!\"\"Deucetaketheassembly!\"saidI。\"Iwasverygladtobegone。\"\"Iamdelighted,\"headded,\"thatyoutakeitsolightly。Iamonlysorrythatitisalreadysomuchspokenof。\"Thecircumstancethenbegantopainme。Ifanciedthateveryonewhosatdown,andevenlookedatme,wasthinkingofthisincident;andmyheartbecameembittered。 AndnowIcouldplungeadaggerintomybosom,whenIhearmyselfeverywherepitied,andobservethetriumphofmyenemies,whosaythatthisisalwaysthecasewithvainpersons,whoseheadsareturnedwithconceit,whoaffecttodespiseformsandsuchpetty,idlenonsense。 Saywhatyouwilloffortitude,butshowmethemanwhocanpatientlyendurethelaughteroffools,whentheyhaveobtainedanadvantageoverhim。’Tisonlywhentheirnonsenseiswithoutfoundationthatonecansufferitwithoutcomplaint。 March16。 Everythingconspiresagainstme。ImetMissB——walkingto-day。 Icouldnothelpjoiningher;and,whenwewereatalittledistancefromhercompanions,Iexpressedmysenseofheralteredmannertowardme。\"OWerther!\"shesaid,inatoneofemotion,\"you,whoknowmyheart,howcouldyousoillinterpretmydistress?WhatdidInotsufferforyou,fromthemomentyouenteredtheroom! Iforesawitall,ahundredtimeswasIonthepointofmentioningittoyou。IknewthattheS——sandT——s,withtheirhusbands,wouldquittheroom,ratherthanremaininyourcompany。Iknewthatthecountwouldnotbreakwiththem:andnowsomuchissaidaboutit。\"\"How!\"Iexclaimed,andendeavouredtoconcealmyemotion;forallthatAdelinhadmentionedtomeyesterdayrecurredtomepainfullyatthatmoment。\"Oh,howmuchithasalreadycostme!\"saidthisamiablegirl,whilehereyesfilledwithtears。I couldscarcelycontainmyself,andwasreadytothrowmyselfatherfeet。\"Explainyourself!\"Icried。Tearsfloweddownhercheeks。Ibecamequitefrantic。Shewipedthemaway,withoutattemptingtoconcealthem。\"Youknowmyaunt,\"shecontinued; \"shewaspresent:andinwhatlightdoessheconsidertheaffair! Lastnight,andthismorning,Werther,Iwascompelledtolistentoalectureuponmy,acquaintancewithyou。Ihavebeenobligedtohearyoucondemnedanddepreciated;andIcouldnot——Idarednot——saymuchinyourdefence。\" Everywordsheutteredwasadaggertomyheart。Shedidnotfeelwhatamercyitwouldhavebeentoconcealeverythingfromme。 Shetoldme,inaddition,alltheimpertinencethatwouldbefurthercirculated,andhowthemaliciouswouldtriumph;howtheywouldrejoiceoverthepunishmentofmypride,overmyhumiliationforthatwantofesteemforotherswithwhichIhadoftenbeenreproached。 Tohearallthis,Wilhelm,utteredbyherinavoiceofthemostsinceresympathy,awakenedallmypassions;andIamstillinastateofextremeexcitement。IwishIcouldfindamantojeermeaboutthisevent。Iwouldsacrificehimtomyresentment。Thesightofhisbloodmightpossiblybearelieftomyfury。AhundredtimeshaveIseizedadagger,togiveeasetothisoppressedheart。 Naturaliststellofanobleraceofhorsesthatinstinctivelyopenaveinwiththeirteeth,whenheatedandexhaustedbyalongcourse,inordertobreathemorefreely。Iamoftentemptedtoopenavein,toprocureformyselfeverlastingliberty。 MARCH24。 Ihavetenderedmyresignationtothecourt。Ihopeitwillbeaccepted,andyouwillforgivemefornothavingpreviouslyconsultedyou。ItisnecessaryIshouldleavethisplace。Iknowallyouwillurgemetostay,andthereforeIbegyouwillsoftenthisnewstomymother。Iamunabletodoanythingformyself:how,then,shouldIbecompetenttoassistothers?ItwillafflictherthatIshouldhaveinterruptedthatcareerwhichwouldhavemademefirstaprivycouncillor,andthenminister,andthatIshouldlookbehindme,inplaceofadvancing。Argueasyouwill,combineallthereasonswhichshouldhaveinducedmetoremain,Iamgoing: thatissufficient。But,thatyoumaynotbeignorantofmydestination,ImaymentionthatthePrinceof——ishere。Heismuchpleasedwithmycompany;and,havingheardofmyintentiontoresign,hehasinvitedmetohiscountryhouse,topassthespringmonthswithhim。Ishallbeleftcompletelymyownmaster; and,asweagreeonallsubjectsbutone,Ishalltrymyfortune,andaccompanyhim。 APRILl9。 Thanksforbothyourletters。Idelayedmyreply,andwithheldthisletter,tillIshouldobtainananswerfromthecourt。I fearedmymothermightapplytotheministertodefeatmypurpose。 Butmyrequestisgranted,myresignationisaccepted。Ishallnotrecountwithwhatreluctanceitwasaccorded,norrelatewhattheministerhaswritten:youwouldonlyrenewyourlamentations。 Thecrownprincehassentmeapresentoffiveandtwentyducats; and,indeed,suchgoodnesshasaffectedmetotears。ForthisreasonIshallnotrequirefrommymotherthemoneyforwhichI latelyapplied。 MAY5。 Ileavethisplaceto-morrow;and,asmynativeplaceisonlysixmilesfromthehighroad,Iintendtovisititoncemore,andrecallthehappydreamsofmychildhood。IshallenteratthesamegatethroughwhichIcamewithmymother,when,aftermyfather’sdeath,sheleftthatdelightfulretreattoimmureherselfinyourmelancholytown。Adieu,mydearfriend:youshallhearofmyfuturecareer。 MAY9。 Ihavepaidmyvisittomynativeplacewithallthedevotionofapilgrim,andhaveexperiencedmanyunexpectedemotions。Nearthegreatelmtree,whichisaquarterofaleaguefromthevillage,Igotoutofthecarriage,andsentitonbefore,thatalone,andonfoot,Imightenjoyvividlyandheartilyallthepleasureofmyrecollections。Istoodthereunderthatsameelmwhichwasformerlythetermandobjectofmywalks。Howthingshavesincechanged!Then,inhappyignorance,IsighedforaworldIdidnotknow,whereIhopedtofindeverypleasureandenjoymentwhichmyheartcoulddesire;andnow,onmyreturnfromthatwideworld,O myfriend,howmanydisappointedhopesandunsuccessfulplanshaveIbroughtback! AsIcontemplatedthemountainswhichlaystretchedoutbeforeme,Ithoughthowoftentheyhadbeentheobjectofmydearestdesires。 HereusedItositforhourstogetherwithmyeyesbentuponthem,ardentlylongingtowanderintheshadeofthosewoods,tolosemyselfinthosevalleys,whichformsodelightfulanobjectinthedistance。WithwhatreluctancedidIleavethischarmingspot; whenmyhourofrecreationwasover,andmyleaveofabsenceexpired!Idrewneartothevillage:allthewell-knownoldsummerhousesandgardenswererecognisedagain;Idislikedthenewones,andallotheralterationswhichhadtakenplace。Ienteredthevillage,andallmyformerfeelingsreturned。Icannot,mydearfriend,enterintodetails,charmingasweremysensations: theywouldbedullinthenarration。Ihadintendedtolodgeinthemarket-place,nearouroldhouse。AssoonasIentered,I perceivedthattheschoolroom,whereourchildhoodhadbeentaughtbythatgoodoldwoman,wasconvertedintoashop。Icalledtomindthesorrow,theheaviness,thetears,andoppressionofheart,whichIexperiencedinthatconfinement。Everystepproducedsomeparticularimpression。ApilgrimintheHolyLanddoesnotmeetsomanyspotspregnantwithtenderrecollections,andhissoulishardlymovedwithgreaterdevotion。Oneincidentwillserveforillustration。Ifollowedthecourseofastreamtoafarm,formerlyadelightfulwalkofmine,andpausedatthespot,where,whenboys,weusedtoamuseourselvesmakingducksanddrakesuponthewater。IrecollectedsowellhowIusedformerlytowatchthecourseofthatsamestream,followingitwithinquiringeagerness,formingromanticideasofthecountriesitwastopassthrough; butmyimaginationwassoonexhausted:whilethewatercontinuedflowingfartherandfartheron,tillmyfancybecamebewilderedbythecontemplationofaninvisibledistance。Exactlysuch,mydearfriend,sohappyandsoconfined,werethethoughtsofourgoodancestors。Theirfeelingsandtheirpoetrywerefreshaschildhood。And,whenUlyssestalksoftheimmeasurableseaandboundlessearth,hisepithetsaretrue,natural,deeplyfelt,andmysterious。OfwhatimportanceisitthatIhavelearned,witheveryschoolboy,thattheworldisround?Manneedsbutlittleearthforenjoyment,andstilllessforhisfinalrepose。 Iamatpresentwiththeprinceathishuntinglodge。Heisamanwithwhomonecanlivehappily。Heishonestandunaffected。Thereare,however,somestrangecharactersabouthim,whomIcannotatallunderstand。Theydonotseemvicious,andyettheydonotcarrytheappearanceofthoroughlyhonestmen。SometimesIamdisposedtobelievethemhonest,andyetIcannotpersuademyselftoconfideinthem。Itgrievesmetoheartheprinceoccasionallytalkofthingswhichhehasonlyreadorheardof,andalwayswiththesameviewinwhichtheyhavebeenrepresentedbyothers。 Hevaluesmyunderstandingandtalentsmorehighlythanmyheart,butIamproudofthelatteronly。Itisthesolesourceofeverythingofourstrength,happiness,andmisery。AlltheknowledgeIpossesseveryoneelsecanacquire,butmyheartisexclusivelymyown。 MAY25。 IhavehadaplaninmyheadofwhichIdidnotintendtospeaktoyouuntilitwasaccomplished:nowthatithasfailed,Imayaswellmentionit。Iwishedtoenterthearmy,andhadlongbeendesirousoftakingthestep。This,indeed,wasthechiefreasonformycomingherewiththeprince,asheisageneralintheservice。Icommunicatedmydesigntohimduringoneofourwalkstogether。Hedisapprovedofit,anditwouldhavebeenactualmadnessnottohavelistenedtohisreasons。 JUNE11。 Saywhatyouwill,Icanremainherenolonger。WhyshouldI remain?Timehangsheavyuponmyhands。Theprinceisasgracioustomeasanyonecouldbe,andyetIamnotatmyease。Thereis,indeed,nothingincommonbetweenus。Heisamanofunderstanding,butquiteoftheordinarykind。HisconversationaffordsmenomoreamusementthanIshouldderivefromtheperusalofawell-writtenbook。IshallremainhereaweekIonger,andthenstartagainonmytravels。MydrawingsarethebestthingsIhavedonesinceI camehere。Theprincehasatasteforthearts,andwouldimproveifhismindwerenotfetteredbycoldrulesandmeretechnicalideas。Ioftenlosepatience,when,withaglowingimagination,Iamgivingexpressiontoartandnature,heinterfereswithlearnedsuggestions,andusesatrandomthetechnicalphraseologyofartists。 JULY16。 OncemoreIamawanderer,apilgrim,throughtheworld。Butwhatelseareyou! JULY18。 WhitheramIgoing?Iwilltellyouinconfidence。Iamobligedtocontinueafortnightlongerhere,andthenIthinkitwouldbebetterformetovisittheminesin——。ButIamonlydeludingmyselfthus。Thefactis,IwishtobenearCharlotteagain,thatisall。Ismileatthesuggestionsofmyheart,andobeyitsdictates。 JULY29。 No,no!itisyetwellalliswell!Iherhusband!OGod,whogavemebeing,ifthouhadstdestinedthishappinessforme,mywholelifewouldhavebeenonecontinualthanksgiving!ButIwillnotmurmur——forgivethesetears,forgivethesefruitlesswishes。 She——mywife!Oh,theverythoughtoffoldingthatdearestofHeaven’screaturesinmyarms!DearWilhelm,mywholeframefeelsconvulsedwhenIseeAlbertputhisarmsaroundherslenderwaist! AndshallIavowit?WhyshouldInot,Wilhelm?Shewouldhavebeenhappierwithmethanwithhim。Albertisnotthemantosatisfythewishesofsuchaheart。Hewantsacertainsensibility; hewants——inshort,theirheartsdonotbeatinunison。Howoften,mydearfriend,imreadingapassagefromsomeinterestingbook,whenmyheartandCharlotte’sseemedtomeet,andinahundredotherinstanceswhenoursentimentswereunfoldedbythestoryofsomefictitiouscharacter,haveIfeltthatweweremadeforeachother!But,dearWilhelm,helovesherwithhiswholesoul;andwhatdoesnotsuchalovedeserve? Ihavebeeninterruptedbyaninsufferablevisit。Ihavedriedmytears,andcomposedmythoughts。Adieu,mybestfriend! AUGUST4。 Iamnotaloneunfortunate。Allmenaredisappointedintheirhopes,anddeceivedintheirexpectations。Ihavepaidavisittomygoodoldwomanunderthelime-trees。Theeldestboyranouttomeetme:hisexclamationofjoybroughtouthismother,butshehadaverymelancholylook。Herfirstwordwas,\"Alas! dearsir,mylittleJohnisdead。\"Hewastheyoungestofherchildren。Iwassilent。\"AndmyhusbandhasreturnedfromSwitzerlandwithoutanymoney;and,ifsomekindpeoplehadnotassistedhim,hemusthavebeggedhiswayhome。Hewastakenillwithfeveronhisjourney。\"Icouldanswernothing,butmadethelittleoneapresent。Sheinvitedmetotakesomefruit:Icomplied,andlefttheplacewithasorrowfulheart。 AUGUST21。 Mysensationsareconstantlychanging。Sometimesahappyprospectopensbeforeme;butalas!itisonlyforamoment;andthen,whenIamlostinreverie,Icannothelpsayingtomyself,\"IfAlbertweretodie?——Yes,shewouldbecome——andIshouldbe\"——andsoIpursueachimera,tillitleadsmetotheedgeofaprecipiceatwhichIshudder。 WhenIpassthroughthesamegate,andwalkalongthesameroadwhichfirstconductedmetoCharlotte,myheartsinkswithinmeatthechangethathassincetakenplace。All,all,isaltered! Nosentiment,nopulsationofmyheart,isthesame。Mysensationsaresuchaswouldoccurtosomedepartedprincewhosespiritshouldreturntovisitthesuperbpalacewhichhehadbuiltinhappytimes,adornedwithcostlymagnificence,andlefttoabelovedson,butwhosegloryheshouldfinddeparted,anditshallsdesertedandinruins。 SEPTEMBER3。 Isometimescannotunderstandhowshecanloveanother,howshedaresloveanother,whenIlovenothinginthisworldsocompletely,sodevotedly,asIloveher,whenIknowonlyher,andhavenootherpossession。 SEPTEMBER4。 Itisevenso!Asnatureputsonherautumntintsitbecomesautumnwithmeandaroundme。Myleavesaresereandyellow,andtheneighbouringtreesaredivestedoftheirfoliage。Doyouremembermywritingtoyouaboutapeasantboyshortlyaftermyarrivalhere?IhavejustmadeinquiriesabouthiminWalheim。 Theysayhehasbeendismissedfromhisservice,andisnowavoidedbyeveryone。Imethimyesterdayontheroad,goingtoaneighbouringvillage。Ispoketohim,andhetoldmehisstory。 Itinterestedmeexceedingly,asyouwilleasilyunderstandwhenIrepeatittoyou。ButwhyshouldItroubleyou?WhyshouldI notreserveallmysorrowformyself?WhyshouldIcontinuetogiveyouoccasiontopityandblameme?Butnomatter:thisalsoispartofmydestiny。 Atfirstthepeasantladansweredmyinquirieswithasortofsubduedmelancholy,whichseemedtomethemarkofatimiddisposition; but,aswegrewtounderstandeachother,hespokewithlessreserve,andopenlyconfessedhisfaults,andlamentedhismisfortune。I wish,mydearfriend,Icouldgiveproperexpressiontohislanguage。Hetoldmewithasortofpleasurablerecollection,that,aftermydeparture,hispassionforhismistressincreaseddaily,untilatlastheneitherknewwhathedidnorwhathesaid,norwhatwastobecomeofhim。Hecouldneithereatnordrinknorsleep:hefeltasenseofsuffocation;hedisobeyedallorders,andforgotallcommandsinvoluntarily;heseemedasifpursuedbyanevilspirit,tilloneday,knowingthathismistresshadgonetoanupperchamber,hehadfollowed,or,rather,beendrawnafterher。Assheproveddeaftohisentreaties,hehadrecoursetoviolence。Heknowsnotwhathappened;buthecalledGodtowitnessthathisintentionstoherwerehonourable,andthathedesirednothingmoresincerelythanthattheyshouldmarry,andpasstheirlivestogether。Whenhehadcometothispoint,hebegantohesitate,asiftherewassomethingwhichhehadnotcouragetoutter,tillatlengthheacknowledgedwithsomeconfusioncertainlittleconfidencesshehadencouraged,andlibertiesshehadallowed。 Hebrokeofftwoorthreetimesinhisnarration,andassuredmemostearnestlythathehadnowishtomakeherbad,ashetermedit,forhelovedherstillassincerelyasever;thatthetalehadneverbeforeescapedhislips,andwasonlynowtoldtoconvincemethathewasnotutterlylostandabandoned。Andhere,mydearfriend,ImustcommencetheoldsongwhichyouknowIuttereternally。 IfIcouldonlyrepresentthemanashestood,andstandsnowbeforeme,couldIonlygivehistrueexpressions,youwouldfeelcompelledtosympathiseinhisfate。Butenough:you,whoknowmymisfortuneandmydisposition,caneasilycomprehendtheattractionwhichdrawsmetowardeveryunfortunatebeing,butparticularlytowardhimwhosestoryIhaverecounted。 Onperusingthisletterasecondtime,IfindIhaveomittedtheconclusionofmytale;butitiseasilysupplied。Shebecamereservedtowardhim,attheinstigationofherbrotherwhohadlonghatedhim,anddesiredhisexpulsionfromthehouse,fearingthathissister’ssecondmarriagemightdeprivehischildrenofthehandsomefortunetheyexpectedfromher;assheischildless。 Hewasdismissedatlength;andthewholeaffairoccasionedsomuchscandal,thatthemistressdarednottakehimback,evenifshehadwishedit。Shehassincehiredanotherservant,withwhom,theysay,herbrotherisequallydispleased,andwhomsheislikelytomarry;butmyinformantassuresmethathehimselfisdeterminednottosurvivesuchacatastrophe。 Thisstoryisneitherexaggeratednorembellished:indeed,Ihaveweakenedandimpaireditinthenarration,bythenecessityofusingthemorerefinedexpressionsofsociety。 Thislove,then,thisconstancy,thispassion,isnopoeticalfiction。Itisactual,anddwellsinitsgreatestpurityamongstthatclassofmankindwhomwetermrude,uneducated。Wearetheeducated,nottheperverted。Butreadthisstorywithattention,Iimploreyou。Iamtranquilto-day,forIhavebeenemployeduponthisnarration:youseebymywritingthatIamnotsoagitatedasusual。Ireadandre-readthistale,Wilhelm:itisthehistoryofyourfriend!Myfortunehasbeenandwillbesimilar;andI amneitherhalfsobravenorhalfsodeterminedasthepoorwretchwithwhomIhesitatetocomparemyself。 SEPTEMBER5。 Charlottehadwrittenalettertoherhusbandinthecountry,wherehewasdetainedbybusiness。Itcommenced,\"Mydearestlove,returnassoonaspossible:Iawaityouwithathousandraptures。\" Afriendwhoarrived,broughtword,that,forcertainreasons,hecouldnotreturnimmediately。Charlotte’sletterwasnotforwarded,andthesameeveningitfellintomyhands。Ireadit,andsmiled。 Sheaskedthereason。\"Whataheavenlytreasureisimagination:\" Iexclaimed;\"Ifanciedforamomentthatthiswaswrittentome。\" Shepaused,andseemeddispleased。Iwassilent。 SEPTEMBER6。 ItcostmemuchtopartwiththebluecoatwhichIworethefirsttimeIdancedwithCharlotte。ButIcouldnotpossiblywearitanylonger。ButIhaveorderedanewone,preciselysimilar,eventothecollarandsleeves,aswellasanewwaistcoatandpantaloons。 Butitdoesnotproducethesameeffectuponme。Iknownothowitis,butIhopeintimeIshalllikeitbetter。 SEPTEMBER12。 Shehasbeenabsentforsomedays。ShewenttomeetAlbert。 To-dayIvisitedher:sherosetoreceiveme,andIkissedherhandmosttenderly。 Acanaryatthemomentflewfromamirror,andsettleduponhershoulder。\"Hereisanewfriend,\"sheobserved,whileshemadehimperchuponherhand:\"heisapresentforthechildren。Whatadearheis!Lookathim!WhenIfeedhim,heflutterswithhiswings,andpeckssonicely。Hekissesme,too,onlylook!\" Sheheldthebirdtohermouth;andhepressedhersweetlipswithsomuchfervourthatheseemedtofeeltheexcessofblisswhichheenjoyed。 \"Heshallkissyoutoo,\"sheadded;andthensheheldthebirdtowardme。Hislittlebeakmovedfromhermouthtomine,andthedelightfulsensationseemedliketheforerunnerofthesweetestbliss。 \"Akiss,\"Iobserved,\"doesnotseemtosatisfyhim:hewishesforfood,andseemsdisappointedbytheseunsatisfactoryendearments。\" \"Butheeatsoutofmymouth,\"shecontinued,andextendedherlipstohimcontainingseed;andshesmiledwithallthecharmofabeingwhohasallowedaninnocentparticipationofherlove。 Iturnedmyfaceaway。Sheshouldnotactthus。Sheoughtnottoexcitemyimaginationwithsuchdisplaysofheavenlyinnocenceandhappiness,norawakenmyheartfromitsslumbers,inwhichitdreamsoftheworthlessnessoflife!Andwhynot?BecausesheknowshowmuchIloveher。 SEPTEMBER15。 Itmakesmewretched,Wilhelm,tothinkthatthereshouldbemenincapableofappreciatingthefewthingswhichpossessarealvalueinlife。YourememberthewalnuttreesatS——,underwhichIusedtositwithCharlotte,duringmyvisitstotheworthyoldvicar。 Thoseglorioustrees,theverysightofwhichhassooftenfilledmyheartwithjoy,howtheyadornedandrefreshedtheparsonageyard,withtheirwide-extendedbranches!andhowpleasingwasourremembranceofthegoodoldpastor,bywhosehandstheywereplantedsomanyyearsago:Theschoolmasterhasfrequentlymentionedhisname。Hehaditfromhisgrandfather。Hemusthavebeenamostexcellentman;and,undertheshadeofthoseoldtrees,hismemorywaseverveneratedbyme。Theschoolmasterinformedusyesterday,withtearsinhiseyes,thatthosetreeshadbeenfelled。 Yes,cuttotheground!Icould,inmywrath,haveslainthemonsterwhostruckthefirststroke。AndImustendurethis!—— I,who,ifIhadhadtwosuchtreesinmyowncourt,andonehaddiedfromoldage,shouldhaveweptwithrealaffliction。Butthereissomecomfortleft,suchathingissentiment,thewholevillagemurmursatthemisfortune;andIhopethevicar’swifewillsoonfind,bythecessationofthevillagers’presents,howmuchshehaswoundedthefeelingsoftheneighborhhood。Itwasshewhodidit,thewifeofthepresentincumbent(ourgoodoldmanisdead),atall,sicklycreaturewhoissofarrighttodisregardtheworld,astheworldtotallydisregardsher。Thesillybeingaffectstobelearned,pretendstoexaminethecanonicalbooks,lendsheraidtowardthenew-fashionedreformationofChristendom,moralandcritical,andshrugsuphershouldersatthementionofLavater’senthusiasm。Herhealthisdestroyed,onaccountofwhichsheispreventedfromhavinganyenjoymentherebelow。Onlysuchacreaturecouldhavecutdownmywalnuttrees! Icanneverpardonit。Hearherreasons。Thefallingleavesmadethecourtwetanddirty;thebranchesobstructedthelight;boysthrewstonesatthenutswhentheywereripe,andthenoiseaffectedhernerves;anddisturbedherprofoundmeditations,whenshewasweighingthediffcultiesofKennicot,Semler,andMichaelis。 Findingthatalltheparish,particularlytheoldpeople,weredispleased,Iasked\"whytheyallowedit?\"\"Ah,sir!\"theyreplied,\"whenthestewardorders,whatcanwepoorpeasantsdo?\"Butonethinghashappenedwell。Thestewardandthevicar(who,foronce,thoughttoreapsomeadvantagefromthecapricesofhiswife) intendedtodividethetreesbetweenthem。Therevenue-office,beinginformedofit,revivedanoldclaimtothegroundwherethetreeshadstood,andsoldthemtothebestbidder。Theretheystilllieontheground。IfIwerethesovereign,Ishouldknowhowtodealwiththemall,vicar,steward,andrevenue-office。 Sovereign,didIsay?Ishould,inthatcase,carelittleaboutthetreesthatgrewinthecountry。 OCTOBER10。 Onlytogazeuponherdarkeyesistomeasourceofhappiness! Andwhatgrievesme,is,thatAlbertdoesnotseemsohappyashe——hopedtobe——asIshouldhavebeen——if——Iamnofriendtothesepauses,buthereIcannotexpressitotherwise;andprobablyIamexplicitenough。 OCTOBER12。 OssianhassupersededHomerinmyheart。Towhataworlddoestheillustriousbardcarryme!Towanderoverpathlesswilds,surroundedbyimpetuouswhirlwinds,where,bythefeeblelightofthemoon,weseethespiritsofourancestors;tohearfromthemountain-tops,midtheroaroftorrents,theirplaintivesoundsissuingfromdeepcaverns,andthesorrowfullamentationsofamaidenwhosighsandexpiresonthemossytombofthewarriorbywhomshewasadored。Imeetthisbardwithsilverhair;hewandersinthevalley;heseeksthefootstepsofhisfathers,and,alas!hefindsonlytheirtombs。Then,contemplatingthepalemoon,asshesinksbeneaththewavesoftherollingsea,thememoryofbygonedaysstrikesthemindofthehero,dayswhenapproachingdangerinvigoratedthebrave,andthemoonshoneuponhisbarkladenwithspoils,andreturningintriumph。WhenIreadinhiscountenancedeepsorrow,whenIseehisdyingglorysinkexhaustedintothegrave,asheinhalesnewandheart-thrillingdelightfromhisapproachingunionwithhisbeloved,andhecastsalookonthecoldearthandthetallgrasswhichissosoontocoverhim,andthenexclaims,\"Thetravellerwillcome,——hewillcomewhohasseenmybeauty,andhewillask,’Whereisthebard,whereistheillustrioussonofFingal?’Hewillwalkovermytomb,andwillseekmeinvain!\"Then,Omyfriend,Icouldinstantly,likeatrueandnobleknight,drawmysword,anddelivermyprincefromthelongandpainfullanguorofalivingdeath,anddismissmyownsoultofollowthedemigodwhommyhandhadsetfree! OCTOBER19。 Alas!thevoidthefearfulvoid,whichIfeelinmybosom!SometimesIthink,ifIcouldonlyoncebutonce,presshertomyheart,thisdreadfulvoidwouldbefilled。 OCTOBER26。 Yes,Ifeelcertain,Wilhelm,andeverydayIbecomemorecertain,thattheexistenceofanybeingwhateverisofverylittleconsequence。 AfriendofCharlotte’scalledtoseeherjustnow。Iwithdrewintoaneighbouringapartment,andtookupabook;but,findingI couldnotread,Isatdowntowrite。Iheardthemconverseinanundertone:theyspokeuponindifferenttopics,andretailedthenewsofthetown。Onewasgoingtobemarried;anotherwasill,veryill,shehadadrycough,herfacewasgrowingthinnerdaily,andshehadoccasionalfits。\"N——isveryunwelltoo,\"saidCharlotte。\"Hislimbsbegintoswellalready,\"answeredtheother; andmylivelyimaginationcarriedmeatoncetothebedsoftheinfirm。ThereIseethemstrugglingagainstdeath,withalltheagoniesofpainandhorror;andthesewomen,Wilhelm,talkofallthiswithasmuchindifferenceasonewouldmentionthedeathofastranger。AndwhenIlookaroundtheapartmentwhereInowam——whenIseeCharlotte’sapparellyingbeforeme,andAlbert’swritings,andallthosearticlesoffurniturewhicharesofamiliartome,eventotheveryinkstandwhichIamusing,——whenIthinkwhatIamtothisfamily——everything。Myfriendsesteemme;Ioftencontributetotheirhappiness,andmyheartseemsasifitcouldnotbeatwithoutthem;andyet——-ifIweretodie,ifIweretobesummonedfromthemidstofthiscircle,wouldtheyfeel—— orhowlongwouldtheyfeelthevoidwhichmylosswouldmakeintheirexistence?Howlong!Yes,suchisthefrailtyofman,thateventhere,wherehehasthegreatestconsciousnessofhisownbeing,wherehemakesthestrongestandmostforcibleimpression,eveninthememory,intheheart,ofhisbeloved,therealsohemustperish,——vanish,——andthatquickly。 OCTOBER27。 Icouldtearopenmybosomwithvexationtothinkhowlittlewearecapableofinfluencingthefeelingsofeachother。Noonecancommunicatetomethosesensationsoflove,joy,rapture,anddelightwhichIdonotnaturallypossess;and,thoughmyheartmayglowwiththemostlivelyaffection,Icannotmakethehappinessofoneinwhomthesamewarmthisnotinherent。 OCTOBER27:Evening。 Ipossesssomuch,butmyloveforherabsorbsitall。Ipossesssomuch,butwithoutherIhavenothing。 OCTOBER30。 OnehundredtimeshaveIbeenonthepointofembracingher。 Heavens!whatatormentitistoseesomuchlovelinesspassingandrepassingbeforeus,andyetnotdaretolayholdofit! Andlayingholdisthemostnaturalofhumaninstincts。Donotchildrentoucheverythingtheysee?AndI! NOVEMBER3。 Witness,Heaven,howoftenIliedowninmybedwithawish,andevenahope,thatImayneverawakenagain。Andinthemorning,whenIopenmyeyes,Ibeholdthesunoncemore,andamwretched。 IfIwerewhimsical,Imightblametheweather,oranacquaintance,orsomepersonaldisappointment,formydiscontentedmind;andthenthisinsupportableloadoftroublewouldnotrestentirelyuponmyself。But,alas!Ifeelittoosadly。Iamalonethecauseofmyownwoe,amInot?Truly,myownbosomcontainsthesourceofallmysorrow,asitpreviouslycontainedthesourceofallmypleasure。AmInotthesamebeingwhoonceenjoyedanexcessofhappiness,who,ateverystep,sawparadiseopenbeforehim,andwhoseheartwaseverexpandedtowardthewholeworld?Andthisheartisnowdead,nosentimentcanreviveit;myeyesaredry; andmysenses,nomorerefreshedbytheinfluenceofsofttears,witherandconsumemybrain。Isuffermuch,forIhavelosttheonlycharmoflife:thatactive,sacredpowerwhichcreatedworldsaroundme,——itisnomore。WhenIlookfrommywindowatthedistanthills,andbeholdthemorningsunbreakingthroughthemists,andilluminatingthecountryaround,whichisstillwrappedinsilence,whilstthesoftstreamwindsgentlythroughthewillows,whichhaveshedtheirleaves;whengloriousnaturedisplaysallherbeautiesbeforeme,andherwondrousprospectsareineffectualtoextractonetearofjoyfrommywitheredheart,IfeelthatinsuchamomentIstandlikeareprobatebeforeheaven,hardened,insensible,andunmoved。OftentimesdoIthenbendmykneetotheearth,andimploreGodfortheblessingoftears,asthedespondinglabourerinsomescorchingclimatepraysforthedewsofheaventomoistenhisparchedcorn。 ButIfeelthatGoddoesnotgrantsunshineorraintoourimportunateentreaties。Andoh,thosebygonedays,whosememorynowtormentsme!whyweretheysofortunate?BecauseIthenwaitedwithpatiencefortheblessingsoftheEternal,andreceivedhisgiftswiththegratefulfeelingsofathankfulheart。 NOVEMBER8。 Charlottehasreprovedmeformyexcesses,withsomuchtendernessandgoodness!Ihavelatelybeeninthehabitofdrinkingmorewinethanheretofore。\"Don’tdoit,\"shesaid。\"ThinkofCharlotte!\" \"Thinkofyou!\"Ianswered;\"needyoubidmedoso?Thinkofyou——Idonotthinkofyou:youareeverbeforemysoul!ThisverymorningIsatonthespotwhere,afewdaysago,youdescendedfromthecarriage,and——\"Sheimmediatelychangedthesubjecttopreventmefrompursuingitfarther。Mydearfriend,myenergiesareallprostrated:shecandowithmewhatshepleases。 NOVEMBER15。 Ithankyou,Wilhelm,foryourcordialsympathy,foryourexcellentadvice;andIimploreyoutobequiet。Leavemetomysufferings。 Inspiteofmywretchedness,Ihavestillstrengthenoughforendurance。Ireverereligion——youknowIdo。Ifeelthatitcanimpartstrengthtothefeebleandcomforttotheafflicted,butdoesitaffectallmenequally?Considerthisvastuniverse: youwillseethousandsforwhomithasneverexisted,thousandsforwhomitwillneverexist,whetheritbepreachedtothem,ornot;andmustit,then,necessarilyexistforme?DoesnottheSonofGodhimselfsaythattheyarehiswhomtheFatherhasgiventohim?HaveIbeengiventohim?WhatiftheFatherwillretainmeforhimself,asmyheartsometimessuggests?Iprayyou,donotmisinterpretthis。Donotextractderisionfrommyharmlesswords。Ipouroutmywholesoulbeforeyou。Silencewereotherwisepreferabletome,butIneednotshrinkfromasubjectofwhichfewknowmorethanIdomyself。Whatisthedestinyofman,buttofillupthemeasureofhissufferings,andtodrinkhisallottedcupofbitterness?AndifthatsamecupprovedbittertotheGodofheaven,underahumanform,whyshouldIaffectafoolishpride,andcallitsweet?WhyshouldIbeashamedofshrinkingatthatfearfulmoment,whenmywholebeingwilltremblebetweenexistenceandannihilation,whenaremembranceofthepast,likeaflashoflightning,willilluminatethedarkgulfoffuturity,wheneverythingshalldissolvearoundme,andthewholeworldvanishaway?Isnotthisthevoiceofacreatureoppressedbeyondallresource,self-deficient,abouttoplungeintoinevitabledestruction,andgroaningdeeplyatitsinadequatestrength,\"MyGod!myGod!whyhastthouforsakenme?\"AndshouldIfeelashamedtoutterthesameexpression?ShouldInotshudderataprospectwhichhaditsfears,evenforhimwhofoldsuptheheavenslikeagarment? NOVEMBER21。 Shedoesnotfeel,shedoesnotknow,thatsheispreparingapoisonwhichwilldestroyusboth;andIdrinkdeeplyofthedraughtwhichistoprovemydestruction。Whatmeanthoselooksofkindnesswithwhichsheoften——often?no,notoften,butsometimes,regardsme,thatcomplacencywithwhichshehearstheinvoluntarysentimentswhichfrequentlyescapeme,andthetenderpityformysufferingswhichappearsinhercountenance? Yesterday,whenItookleavesheseizedmebythehand,andsaid,\"Adieu,dearWerther。\"DearWerther!Itwasthefirsttimesheevercalledmedear:thesoundsunkdeepintomyheart。Ihaverepeateditahundredtimes;andlastnight,ongoingtobed,andtalkingtomyselfofvariousthings,Isuddenlysaid,\"Goodnight,dearWerther!\"andthencouldnotbutlaughatmyself。 NOVEMBER22 Icannotpray,\"Leavehertome!\"andyetsheoftenseemstobelongtome。Icannotpray,\"Givehertome!\"forsheisanother’s。InthiswayIaffectmirthovermytroubles;and,ifIhadtime,Icouldcomposeawholelitanyofantitheses。 NOVEMBER24。 Sheissensibleofmysufferings。Thismorningherlookpiercedmyverysoul。Ifoundheralone,andshewassilent:shesteadfastlysurveyedme。Inolongersawinherfacethecharmsofbeautyorthefireofgenius:thesehaddisappeared。ButIwasaffectedbyanexpressionmuchmoretouching,alookofthedeepestsympathyandofthesoftestpity。WhywasIafraidtothrowmyselfatherfeet?WhydidInotdaretotakeherinmyarms,andanswerherbyathousandkisses?Shehadrecoursetoherpianoforrelief,andinalowandsweetvoiceaccompaniedthemusicwithdelicioussounds。Herlipsneverappearedsolovely:theyseemedbutjusttoopen,thattheymightimbibethesweettoneswhichissuedfromtheinstrument,andreturntheheavenlyvibrationfromherlovelymouth。Oh!whocanexpressmysensations?Iwasquiteovercome,and,bendingdown,pronouncedthisvow:\"Beautifullips,whichtheangelsguard,neverwillIseektoprofaneyourpuritywithakiss。\" Andyet,myfriend,oh,Iwish——butmyheartisdarkenedbydoubtandindecision——couldIbuttastefelicity,andthendietoexpiatethesin!Whatsin? NOVEMBER26。 OftentimesIsaytomyself,\"Thoualoneartwretched:allothermortalsarehappy,nonearedistressedlikethee!\"ThenIreadapassageinanancientpoet,andIseemtounderstandmyownheart。Ihavesomuchtoendure!Havemenbeforemeeverbeensowretched? NOVEMBER30。 Ishallneverbemyselfagain!WhereverIgo,somefatalityoccurstodistractme。Evento-dayalas——forourdestiny!alasforhumannature! Aboutdinner-timeIwenttowalkbytheriver-side,forIhadnoappetite。Everythingaroundseemedgloomy:acoldanddampeasterlywindblewfromthemountains,andblack,heavycloudsspreadovertheplain。Iobservedatadistanceamaninatatteredcoat:hewaswanderingamongtherocks,andseemedtobelookingforplants。 WhenIapproached,heturnedroundatthenoise;andIsawthathehadaninterestingcountenanceinwhichasettledmelancholy,stronglymarkedbybenevolence,formedtheprincipalfeature。 Hislongblackhairwasdivided,andflowedoverhisshoulders。 Ashisgarbbetokenedapersonofthelowerorder,IthoughthewouldnottakeitillifIinquiredabouthisbusiness;andI thereforeaskedwhathewasseeking。Hereplied,withadeepsigh,thathewaslookingforflowers,andcouldfindnone。\"Butitisnottheseason,\"Iobserved,withasmile。\"Oh,therearesomanyflowers!\"heanswered,ashecamenearertome。\"Inmygardentherearerosesandhoneysucklesoftwosorts:onesortwasgiventomebymyfather!theygrowasplentifullyasweeds;Ihavebeenlookingforthemthesetwodays,andcannotfindthem。Thereareflowersoutthere,yellow,blue,andred;andthatcentauryhasaveryprettyblossom:butIcanfindnoneofthem。\"Iobservedhispeculiarity,andthereforeaskedhim,withanairofindifference,whatheintendedtodowithhisflowers。Astrangesmileoverspreadhiscountenance。Holdinghisfingertohismouth,heexpressedahopethatIwouldnotbetrayhim;andhetheninformedmethathehadpromisedtogatheranosegayforhismistress。\"Thatisright,\" saidI。\"Oh!\"hereplied,\"shepossessesmanyotherthingsaswell:sheisveryrich。\"\"Andyet,\"Icontinued,\"shelikesyournosegays。\"\"Oh,shehasjewelsandcrowns!\"heexclaimed。Iaskedwhoshewas。\"Ifthestates-generalwouldbutpayme,\"headded,\"Ishouldbequiteanotherman。Alas!therewasatimewhenIwassohappy;butthatispast,andIamnow——\"Heraisedhisswimmingeyestoheaven。\"Andyouwerehappyonce?\"Iobserved。\"Ah,wouldIweresostill!\"washisreply。\"Iwasthenasgayandcontentedasamancanbe。\"Anoldwoman,whowascomingtowardus,nowcalledout,\"Henry,Henry!whereareyou?Wehavebeenlookingforyoueverywhere:cometodinner。\"\"Isheyourson?\" Iinquired,asIwenttowardher。\"Yes,\"shesaid:\"heismypoor,unfortunateson。TheLordhassentmeaheavyaffliction。\"Iaskedwhetherhehadbeenlonginthisstate。Sheanswered,\"Hehasbeenascalmasheisatpresentforaboutsixmonths。IthankHeaventhathehassofarrecovered:hewasforonewholeyearquiteraving,andchaineddowninamadhouse。Nowheinjuresnoone,buttalksofnothingelsethankingsandqueens。Heusedtobeaverygood,quietyouth,andhelpedtomaintainme;hewroteaveryfinehand; butallatoncehebecamemelancholy,wasseizedwithaviolentfever,grewdistracted,andisnowasyousee。IfIwereonlytotellyou,sir——\"Iinterruptedherbyaskingwhatperioditwasinwhichheboastedofhavingbeensohappy。\"Poorboy!\"sheexclaimed,withasmileofcormpassion,\"hemeansthetimewhenhewascompletelyderanged,atimeheneverceasestoregret,whenhewasinthemadhouse,andunconsciousofeverything。\"I wasthunderstruck:Iplacedapieceofmoneyinherhand,andhastenedaway。 \"Youwerehappy!\"Iexclaimed,asIreturnedquicklytothetown,\"’asgayandcontentedasamancanbe!’\"Godofheaven! andisthisthedestinyofman?Isheonlyhappybeforehehasacquiredhisreason,orafterhehaslostit?Unfortunatebeing! AndyetIenvyyourfate:Ienvythedelusiontowhichyouareavictim。Yougoforthwithjoytogatherflowersforyourprincess,——inwinter,——andgrievewhenyoucanfindnone,andcannotunderstandwhytheydonotgrow。ButIwanderforthwithoutjoy,withouthope,withoutdesign;andIreturnasIcame。Youfancywhatamanyouwouldbeifthestatesgeneralpaidyou。Happymortal,whocanascribeyourwretchednesstoanearthlycause! Youdonotknow,youdonotfeel,thatinyourowndistractedheartanddisorderedbraindwellsthesourceofthatunhappinesswhichallthepotentatesonearthcannotrelieve。 Letthatmandieunconsoledwhocanderidetheinvalidforundertakingajourneytodistant,healthfulsprings,whereheoftenfindsonlyaheavierdiseaseandamorepainfuldeath,orwhocanexultoverthedespairingmindofasinner,who,toobtainpeaceofconscienceandanalleviationofmisery,makesapilgrimagetotheHolySepulchre。Eachlaboriousstepwhichgallshiswoundedfeetinroughanduntroddenpathspoursadropofbalmintohistroubledsoul,andthejourneyofmanyawearydaybringsanightlyrelieftohisanguishedheart。Willyoudarecallthisenthusiasm,yecrowdofpompousdeclaimers?Enthusiasm!0God!thouseestmytears。Thouhastallottedusourportionofmisery:mustwealsohavebrethrentopersecuteus,todepriveusofourconsolation,ofourtrustinthee,andinthyloveandmercy?Forourtrustinthevirtueofthehealingroot,orinthestrengthofthevine,whatisitelsethanabeliefintheefromwhomallthatsurroundsusderivesitshealingandrestoringpowers?Father,whomIknownot,——whowertoncewonttofillmysoul,butwhonowhidestthyfacefromme,——callmebacktothee;besilentnolonger;thysilenceshallnotdelayasoulwhichthirstsafterthee。Whatman,whatfather,couldbeangrywithasonforreturningtohimsuddenly,forfallingonhisneck,andexclaiming,\"Iamhereagain,myfather!forgivemeifIhaveanticipatedmyjourney,andreturnedbeforetheappointedtime!Theworldiseverywherethesame,—— asceneoflabourandpain,ofpleasureandreward;butwhatdoesitallavail?Iamhappyonlywherethouart,andinthypresenceamIcontenttosufferorenjoy。\"Andwouldstthou,heavenlyFather,banishsuchachildfromthypresence? DECEMBER1。 Wilhelm,themanaboutwhomIwrotetoyou——thatmansoenviableinhismisfortunes——wassecretarytoCharlotte’sfather;andanunhappypassionforherwhichhecherished,concealed,andatlengthdiscovered,causedhimtobedismissedfromhissituation。 Thismadehimmad。Think,whilstyouperusethisplainnarration,whatanimpressionthecircumstancehasmadeuponme!ButitwasrelatedtomebyAlbertwithasmuchcalmnessasyouwillprobablyperuseit。 DECEMBER4。 Iimploreyourattention。Itisalloverwithme。Icansupportthisstatenolonger。To-dayIwassittingbyCharlotte。Shewasplayinguponherpianoasuccessionofdelightfulmelodies,withsuchintenseexpression!Herlittlesisterwasdressingherdolluponmylap。Thetearscameintomyeyes。Ileaneddown,andlookedintentlyatherwedding-ring:mytearsfell——immediatelyshebegantoplaythatfavourite,thatdivine,airwhichhassooftenenchantedme。Ifeltcomfortfromarecollectionofthepast,ofthosebygonedayswhenthatairwasfamiliartome;andthenIrecalledallthesorrowsandthedisappointmentswhichI hadsinceendured。Ipacedwithhastystridesthroughtheroom,myheartbecameconvulsedwithpainfulemotions。AtlengthI wentuptoher,andexclaimedWitheagerness,\"ForHeaven’ssake,playthatairnolonger!\"Shestopped,andlookedsteadfastlyatme。Shethensaid,withasmilewhichsunkdeepintomyheart,\"Werther,youareill:yourdearestfoodisdistastefultoyou。 Butgo,Ientreatyou,andendeavourtocomposeyourself。\"I toremyselfaway。God,thouseestmytorments,andwiltendthem! DECEMBER6。 Howherimagehauntsme!Wakingorasleep,shefillsmyentiresoul!SoonasIclosemyeyes,here,inmybrain,whereallthenervesofvisionareconcentrated,herdarkeyesareimprinted。 Here——Idonotknowhowtodescribeit;but,ifIshutmyeyes,hersareimmediatelybeforeme:darkasanabysstheyopenuponme,andabsorbmysenses。 Andwhatisman——thatboasteddemigod?Donothispowersfailwhenhemostrequirestheiruse?Andwhetherhesoarinjoy,orsinkinsorrow,isnothiscareerinbothinevitablyarrested? And,whilsthefondlydreamsthatheisgraspingatinfinity,doeshenotfeelcompelledtoreturntoaconsciousnessofhiscold,monotonousexistence? THEEDITORTOTHEREADER。 Itisamatterofextremeregretthatwewantoriginalevidenceofthelastremarkabledaysofourfriend;andweare,therefore,obligedtointerrupttheprogressofhiscorrespondence,andtosupplythedeficiencybyaconnectednarration。 Ihavefeltitmydutytocollectaccurateinformationfromthemouthsofpersonswellacquaintedwithhishistory。Thestoryissimple;andalltheaccountsagree,exceptinsomeunimportantparticulars。Itistrue,that,withrespecttothecharactersofthepersonsspokenof,opinionsandjudgmentsvary。 Wehaveonly,then,torelateconscientiouslythefactswhichourdiligentlabourhasenabledustocollect,togivethelettersofthedeceased,andtopayparticularattentiontotheslightestfragmentfromhispen,moreespeciallyasitissodifficulttodiscovertherealandcorrectmotivesofmenwhoarenotofthecommonorder。 SorrowanddiscontenthadtakendeeprootinWerther’ssoul,andgraduallyimpartedtheircharactertohiswholebeing。Theharmonyofhismindbecamecompletelydisturbed;aperpetualexcitementandmentalirritation,whichweakenedhisnaturalpowers,producedthesaddestetfectsuponhim,andrenderedhimatlengththevictimofanexhaustionagainstwhichhestruggledwithstillmorepainfuleffortsthanhehaddisplayed,evenincontendingwithhisothermisfortunes。Hismentalanxietyweakenedhisvariousgoodqualities; andhewassoonconvertedintoagloomycompanion,alwaysunhappyandunjustinhisideas,themorewretchedhebecame。Thiswas,atleast,theopinionofAlbert’sfriends。Theyassert,moreover,thatthecharacterofAlberthimselfhadundergonenochangeinthemeantime:hewasstillthesamebeingwhomWertherhadloved,honoured,andrespectedfromthecommencement。HisloveforCharlottewasunbounded:hewasproudofher,anddesiredthatsheshouldberecognisedbyeveryoneasthenoblestofcreatedbeings。Washe,however,toblameforwishingtoavertfromhereveryappearanceofsuspicion?orforhisunwillingnesstosharehisrichprizewithanother,evenforamoment,andinthemostinnocentmanner?ItisassertedthatAlbertfrequentlyretiredfromhiswife’sapartmentduringWerther’svisits;butthisdidnotarisefromhatredoraversiontohisfriend,butonlyfromafeelingthathispresencewasoppressivetoWerther。 Charlotte’sfather,whowasconfinedtothehousebyindisposition,wasaccustomedtosendhiscarriageforher,thatshemightmakeexcursionsintheneighbourhood。Onedaytheweatherhadbeenunusuallysevere,andthewholecountrywascoveredwithsnow。 WertherwentforCharlottethefollowingmorning,inorderthat,ifAlbertwereabsent,hemightconductherhome。 Thebeautifulweatherproducedbutlittleimpressiononhistroubledspirit。Aheavyweightlayuponhissoul,deepmelancholyhadtakenpossessionofhim,andhismindknewnochangesavefromonepainfulthoughttoanother。