第3章

类别:其他 作者:Wilkie Collins字数:24854更新时间:19/01/03 14:33:18
\"YoureallylikemysweetLena?\"shesaid。\"Iamsoglad。Whatwereyoutalkingabout,withher?Shemadeyouexertallyourpowersofconversation,andsheseemedtobedeeplyinterested。\" Moreover-acting!Anothermistake!AndIcouldseethroughit!WithnoEnglishsubjectwhichwecoulddiscussincommon,LadyLena’sreadytactalludedtomypastlife。Mrs。RoylakehadtoldherthatIwaseducatedataGermanUniversity。Shehadheardvaguelyofstudentswithlonghair,whoworeHessianboots,andfoughtduels;andsheappealedtomyexperiencetotellhersomethingmore。Ididmybesttointeresther,withveryindifferentsuccess,andwasundeservedlyrewardedbyapatientattention,whichpresentedtheunselfishrefinementsofcourtesyundertheirmostperfectform。 Butletmedomystep-motherjustice。Shecontrivedtobendmetoherwill,beforesheleftthesmoking-room——IamsureIdon’tknowhow。 \"Youhaveentertainedthecharmingdaughtersatdinner,\"sheremindedme; \"andtheleastyoucando,afterthat,istopayyourrespectstotheirnoblefather。Inyourposition,mydearboy,youcannotneglectourEnglishcustomswithoutproducingtheworstpossibleimpression。\" Intwowords,Ifoundmyselfpledged,underpretenceofvisitingmylord,toimprovemyacquaintancewithLadyLenaonthenextday。 \"Andpraybecareful,\"Mrs。Roylakeproceeded,stillbravingtheatmosphereofthesmoking-room,\"nottolooksurprisedifyoufindLordUppercliff’shousepresentingratherapoorappearancejustnow。\" Iwasdyingforanothercigar,andIentirelymisunderstoodthewordsofwarningwhichhadjustbeenaddressedtome。Itriedtobringourinterviewtoaclosebymakingagenerousproposal。 \"Doeshewantmoney?\"Iasked。\"I’lllendhimsomewiththegreatestpleasure。\" Mrs。Roylake’shorrorexpresseditselfinalittlethinwiryscream。 \"Oh,Gerard,whatpeopleyoumusthavelivedamong!Whatshockingignoranceofmylord’senormousfortune!Heandhisfamilyhaveonlyjustreturnedtotheircountryseat,afteralongabsence——parliamentyouknow,andforeignbaths,andsoon——andtheirEnglishestablishmentisnotyetcomplete。Idon’tknowwhatmistakeyoumaynotmakenext。DolistentowhatIwanttosaytoyou。\" Listening,Imustacknowledge,withanabsentmind,myattentionwassuddenlyseizedbyMrs。Roylake——withouttheslightestconsciousefforttowardsthatend,onthepartoftheladyherself。 Thefirstwordsthatstartledme,inherflowofspeech,werethese: \"AndImustnotforgettotellyouofpoorLordUppercliff’smisfortune。 Hehadafall,sometimesince,andbrokehisleg。AsIthink,hewassounwiseastoletaplausibleyoungsurgeonsetthebrokenbone。Anyway,theendofitisthatmylordslightlylimpswhenhewalks;andprayrememberthathehatestoseeitnoticed。LadyRacheldoesn’tagreewithmeinattributingherfather’slamenesstohissurgeon’swantofexperience。Betweenourselves,themanseemstohaveinterestedher。Veryhandsome,veryclever,veryagreeable,andthemannersofagentleman。 Whenhismedicalservicescametoanend,hewasquiteanacquisitionattheirpartiesinLondon——withonedrawback:hemysteriouslydisappeared,andhasneverbeenheardofsince。AskLadyLenaaboutit。Shewillgiveyouallthedetails,withouthereldersister’sbiasinfavourofthehandsomeyoungman。Whataprettycomplimentyouarepayingme!YoureallylookasifIhadinterestedyou。\" KnowingwhatIknew,Iwasunquestionablyinterested。 AlthoughtherecentreturnofLordUppercliffandhisdaughtertotheircountryhomehad,asyet,allowednoopportunityofameeting,outofdoors,betweenthedeafLodgerandthefriendswhomhehadlostsightof——nodoubtatthetimeofhisseriousillness——still,theinevitablediscoverymighthappenonanyday。Whatresultwouldfollow?AndwhatwouldbetheeffectonLadyRachel,whenshemetwiththefascinatingyoungsurgeon,anddiscoveredtheterriblechangeinhim? CHAPTERX WARNED! Wewerealoneintheglade,bythesideofthespring。Atthatearlyhourtherewerenointerruptionstodread;butCristelwasillatease。Sheseemedtobeeagertogetbacktothecottageassoonaspossible。 \"Fathertellsme,\"shebeganabruptly,\"hesawyouattheboathouse。Anditseemedtohim,thatyouwerebehavingyourselflikeafriendtothatterribleman。\" Iremindedherofmyhavingexpressedthefearthatwehadbeenneedlesslyhardonhim;and,Iaddedthathehadwrittenaletterwhichconfirmedmeinthatopinion。Shelooked,notonlydisappointed,butevenalarmed。 \"Ihadhoped,\"shesaidsadly,\"thatfatherwasmistaken。\" \"Solittlemistaken,\"Iassuredher,\"thatIamgoingtodrinkteawiththemanwhoseemstofrightenyou。IhopehewillaskyoutomeetSherecoiledfromthebareideaofaninvitation。 \"WillyouhearwhatIwanttotellyou?\"shesaidearnestly。\"YoumayalteryouropinionifyouknowwhatIhavebeenfoolishenoughtodo,whenyousawmegototheothersideofthecottage。\" \"DearCristel,IknowwhatIowetoyourkindinterestinmeonthatoccasion!\"BeforeIcouldsayawordofapologyforhavingwrongedherbymysuspicions,sheinsistedonanexplanationofwhatIhadjustsaid。 \"Didhementionitinhisletter?\"sheasked。 IownedthatIhadobtainedmyinformationinthisway。AndIdeclaredthathehadexpressedhisadmirationofher,andhisbeliefinher,intermswhichmadeitasubjectofregrettomenottobeabletoshowwhathehadwritten。 Cristelforgotherfearofourbeinginterrupted。Herdismayexpresseditselfinacrythatrangthroughthewood。 \"Youevenbelieveinhisletter?\"sheexclaimed。\"Mr。Gerard!HiswritinginthatwaytoYouaboutMeisaproofthathelies;andI’llmakeyouseeit。Ifyouwereanybodyelsebutyourself,Iwouldleaveyoutoyourfate。Yes,yourfate,\"shepassionatelyrepeated。\"Oh,forgiveme,sir! I’mbehavingdisrespectfully;Ibegyourpardon。No,no;letmegoon。 WhenIspoketohiminyourbestinterests(asIdidmosttrulybelieve) IneversuspectedwhatmischiefIhaddone,tillIlookedinhisface。 Then,Isawhowhehatedyou,andhowvilelyhewasthinkinginsecretofme——\" Puredelusion!HowcouldIallowittogoon?Iinterruptedher。 \"Mydear,youhavequitemistakenhim。AsIhavealreadysaid,hesincerelyrespectsyou——andheownsthathemisjudgedmewhenheandI firstmet。\" \"What!Is_that_inhislettertoo?It’sworseeventhanIfeared。Again,andagain,andagain,Isayit\"——shestampedonthegroundinthefervorofherconviction——\"hehatesyouwiththehatredthatneverforgivesandneverforgets。Youthinkhimagoodman。DoyousupposeIwouldhavebeggedandprayedofmyfathertosendhimaway,withouthavingreasonsthatjustifiedme?Mr。Gerard,youforcemetotellyouwhatmyunluckyvisitdidputintohishead。Yes,hedoesbelieve——believesfirmly——thatyouhaveforgottenwhatisduetoyourrank;thatIhavebeenwickedenoughtoforgetittoo;andthatyouaregoingtotakemeawayfromhim。 Saywhathemay,andwritewhathemay,heisdeceivingyouforhisownwickedends。Ifyougotodrinkteawithhim,Godonlyknowswhatcauseyoumayhavetoregretit。Forgivemeforbeingsoviolent,sir;Ihavedonenow。Youhavemademeverywretched,butyouaretoogoodandkindtomeanit。Good-bye。\" Itookherhand,Ipressedittenderly;Iwastouched,deeplytouched。 No!letmewritehonestly。Hereyesbetrayedher,hervoicebetrayedher,whileshesaidherpartingwords。WhatIsaw,whatIheard,wasnolongerwithinthelimitsofdoubt。Thesweetgirl’sinterestinmywelfarewasnotthemerelyfriendlyinterestwhichsheherselfbelievedittobe。AndIsaidjustnowthatIwas\"touched。\"Cant!Lies!IlovedhermoredearlythanIhadeverlovedheryet。Thereisthetruth——strippedofpoorprudery,andthemeanfearofbeingcalledVain! WhatImighthavesaidtoher,iftheopportunityhadoffereditself,maybeeasilyimagined。BeforeIcouldopenmylips,amanappearedonthepathwhichledfromthemilltothespring——themanwhomCristelhadsecretlysuspectedofadesigntofollowher。 Ifeltherhandtremblinginmyhand,andgaveitalittleencouragingsqueeze。\"Letusjudgehim,\"Isuggested,\"bywhathesaysanddoes,onfindingustogether。\" Withoutanattemptatconcealmentonhispart,headvancedtowardsusbriskly,smilingandwavinghishand。 \"What,Mr。Roylake,youhavealreadyfoundoutthevirtuesofyourwonderfulspring,andyouaredrinkingthewaterbeforebreakfast!IhaveoftendoneitmyselfwhenIwasnottoolazytogetup。Andthischarminggirl,\"hewenton,turningtoCristel,\"hasshebeentryingthevirtuesofthespringbyyouradvice?Shewon’tlistentome,orIshouldhaverecommendeditlongsince。Seemesettheexample。\" Hetookasilvermugfromhispocket,anddescendedthefewstepsthatledtothespring。Allowingforthedreadfuldeafmonotonyinhisvoice,nomancouldhavebeenmoreinnocentlyjoyousandagreeable。Whilehewastakinghismorningdraught,IappealedtoCristel’sbettersense。 \"Isthisthehypocrite,whoisdeceivingmeforhisownwickedends?\"I asked。\"Doeshelooklikethejealousmonsterwhoisplottingmydestruction,andwhowillsucceedifIamfoolenoughtoaccepthisinvitation?\" Poordear,shewasasobstinateasever!\"ThinkoverwhatIhavesaidtoyou——think,foryourownsake,\"washeronlyreply。 \"Andalittlefor_your_sake?\"Iventuredtoadd。 Sheranawayfromme,takingthepathwhichwouldleadherhomeagain。 ThedeafmanandIwerelefttogether。Helookedafterheruntilshewasoutofsight。Thenheproducedhisbookofblankleaves。But,insteadofhandingittomeasusual,hebegantowriteinithimself。 \"Ihavesomethingtosaytoyou,\"heexplained。 Itwasonlypossible,whilethebookwasinhispossession,toremindhimthatIcouldhear,andthathecouldspeak,byusingthelanguageofsigns。Itouchedmylips,andpointedtohim;Itouchedmyear,andpointedtomyself。 \"Yes,\"hesaid,understandingmewithhiscustomaryquickness;\"butI wantyoutorememberaswellastohear。WhenIhavefilledthisleaf,I shallbegyoutokeepitaboutyou,andtorefertoitfromtimetotime。\" Hewroteonsteadily,untilhehadfilledbothsidesoftheslipofpaper。 \"Quitealittleletter,\"hesaid。\"Prayreadit。\" ThisiswhatIread: \"YoumusthaveseenforyourselfthatIwasincapableofinsultingyouandMissCristelbyanoutbreakofjealousy,whenIfoundyoutogetherjustnow。Onlyrememberthatweallhaveourweaknesses,andthatitismyhardlottobeinastateofcontestwiththeinheritedevilwhichisthecalamityofmylife。Withyourencouragement,Imayresisttemptationinthefuture,andkeepthebetterpartofmeinauthorityovermythoughtsandactions。But,beonyourguard,andadviseMissCristeltobeonherguard,againstfalseappearances。Asweallknow,theylieliketruth。Considerme。Pityme。Iasknomore。\" Straightforwardandmanlyandmodest——IappealtoanyunprejudicedmindwhetherIshouldnothavecommittedameanaction,ifIhadplacedanevilconstructiononthis? \"AmIunderstood?\"heasked。 Isignedtohimtogivemehisbook,andrelievedhimofanxietyinthesewords: \"IfIhadfailedtounderstandyou,Ishouldhavefeltashamedofmyself。 MayIshowwhatyouhavewrittentoCristel?\" Hesmiled,moresweetlyandpleasantlythanIhadseenhimsmileyet。 \"Ifyouwishit,\"heanswered。\"Ileaveitentirelytoyou。Thankyou——andgoodmorning。\" Havingadvancedafewstepsonhiswaytothecottage,hepaused,andremindedmeofthetea-drinking:\"Don’tforgetto-morrowevening,atseveno’clock。\" CHAPTERXI WARNEDAGAIN! ThebreakfasthourhadnotyetarrivedwhenIgothome。Iwentintothegardentorefreshmyeyes——alittlewearyofthesolemnuniformityofcolorinFordwitchWood——bylookingattheflowers。 Reachingtheterrace,inthefirstplace,Iheardbelowmeaman’svoice,speakingintonesofangryauthority,andusinglanguagewhichexpressedanintentionofturningsomebodyoutofthegarden。Iatoncedescendedthestepswhichledtotheflower-beds。Themaninauthorityprovedtobeoneofmygardeners;andthemanthreatenedwithinstantexpulsionwastheoddly-dressedservantofthefriendwhomIhadjustleft。 Thepoorfellow’suglyfacepresentedapictureofshameandcontrition,themomentIshowedmyself。Hepiteouslyentreatedmetolookoverit,andtoforgivehim。 \"Waitalittle,\"Isaid。\"LetmeseeifIhaveanythingtoforgive。\"I turnedtothegardener。\"Whatisyourcomplaintofthisman?\" \"He’satrespasseronyourgrounds,sir。And,hisimpudence,tosaytheleastofit,issuchasInevermetwithbefore。\" \"Whatharmhashedone?\" \"Harm,sir?\" \"Yes——harm。Hashebeenpickingtheflowers?\" Thegardenerlookedroundhim,longingtorefermetothenecessaryevidence,andfailingtodiscoveritanywhere。Thewretchedtrespassertookheartofgrace,andsaidawordinhisowndefence。 \"Nobodyeverknewmetomisbehavemyselfinagentleman’sgarden,\"hesaid;\"Iown,sir,tohavingtakenapeepattheflowers,overthewall。\" \"Andtheytemptedyoutolookalittlecloseratthem?\" \"That’sthetruth,sir。\" \"Soyouarefondofflowers?\" \"Yes,sir。Ioncefailedinbusinessasanurseryman——butIdon’tblametheflowers。\" Thedelightfulsimplicityofthiswaslostonthegardener。Iheardthebrutemuttertohimself:\"Gammon!\"ForonceIassertedmyauthorityovermyservant。 \"Understandthis,\"Isaidtohim:\"Idon’tconfinetheenjoymentofmygardentomyselfandmyfriends。Anywell-behavedpersonsarewelcometocomehereandlookattheflowers。Rememberthat。Nowyoumaygo。\" Havingissuedtheseinstructions,Inextaddressedmyselftomyfriendintheshabbyshootingjacket;tellinghimtoroamwhereverheliked,andtostayaslongashepleased。Insteadofthankingmeandusinghisliberty,hehesitated,andlookedthoroughlyillatease。 \"What’sthematternow?\"Iasked。 \"I’mafraidyoudon’tknow,sir,whoitisyouaresokindto。I’vebeensomethingelseinmytime,besidesanurseryman。\" \"Whathaveyoubeen?\" \"Aprize-fighter。\" Ifheexpectedmetoexhibitindignationorcontempt,hewasdisappointed。Myignorancetreatedhimascivillyasever。 \"Whatisaprize-fighter?\"Iinquired。 Theunfortunatepugilistlookedatmeinspeechlessbewilderment。ItoldhimthatIhadbeenbroughtupamongforeigners,andthatIhadneverevenseenanEnglishnewspaperforthelasttenyears。Thisexplanationseemedtoencouragethemanoffewwords:itsethimtalkingfreelyatlast。Hedeliveredatreatiseontheartofprizefighting,andhedidsomethingelsewhichIfoundmoreamusing——hetoldmehisname。Tomysmallsenseofhumorhisname,sotospeak,completedthisdelightfullyoddman:itwasGloody。Astothelistofhismisfortunes,theendlesslengthofitbecamesounendurablydroll,thatwebothindulgedinunfeelingfitsoflaughteroverthesorrowsofGloody。Thefirstluckyaccidentofthepoorfellow’slifehadbeen,literally,thediscoveryofhimbyhispresentmaster。 Thiseventinterestedme。IsaidIshouldliketohearhowithadhappened。 Gloodymodestlydescribedhimselfas\"oneofthestarvinglot,sir,thatlooksoutforsmallerrands。Igotmyfirstdinnerforthreedays,bycarryingagentleman’sportmanteauforhim。Andhe,ifyouplease,wasafterwardsmymaster。Helivedalone。Blessyou,hewasasdeafthenasheisnow。Hesaystome,’Ifyoubawlinmyears,I’llknockyoudown。’ Ithoughttomyself,youwouldn’tsaythat,master,ifyouknewhowIwasemployedtwentyyearsago。Hetookmeintohisservice,sir,becauseI wasugly。’I’msohandsomemyself;’hesays,’Iwantacontrastofsomethinguglyaboutme。’Youmayhavenoticedthathe’sabitterone——andbitterlyenoughhesometimesbehavedtome。Butthere’sagoodsidetohim。Hegivesmehisoldclothes,andsometimeshespeaksalmostaskindlytomeasyoudo。Butforhim,IbelieveIshouldhaveperishedofstarvation——\" Hesuddenlycheckedhimself。Whetherhewasafraidofwearyingme,orwhethersomepainfulrecollectionhadoccurredtohim,itwasofcourseimpossibletosay。 Theuglyface,towhichheowedhisfirstpoorlittlemorselofprosperity,becameovercloudedbycareanddoubt。BurstingintoexpressionsofgratitudewhichIhadcertainlynotdeserved——expressions,soevidentlysincere,thattheyborewitnesstoconstantill-usagesufferedinthecourseofhishardlife——heleftmewithaheadlonghasteofmovement,drivenawayasIfanciedbyanunquietmind。 Iwatchedhimretreatingalongthepath,andsawhimstopabruptly,stillwithhisbacktome。Hisdeepstrongvoicetravelledfartherthanhesupposed。Iheardhimsaytohimself:\"WhataninfernalrascalIam!\"Hewaitedalittle,andturnedmywayagain。Slowlyandreluctantly,hecamebacktome。AsheapproachedIsawtheman,whohadlivedbythepublicexhibitionofhiscourage,lookingatmewithfearplainlyvisibleinthechangeofhiscolor,andtheexpressionofhisface。 \"Anythingwrong?\"Iinquired。 \"Nothingwrong,sir。MightIbesoboldastoask——\" Wewaitedalittle;Igavehimtimetocollecthisthoughts。Perhapsthesilenceconfusedhim。Anyhow,Iwasobligedtohelphimtogeton。 \"Whatdoyouwishtoaskofme?\"Isaid。 \"Iwishedtospeak,sir——\" Hestoppedagain。 \"Aboutwhat?\"Iasked。 \"Aboutto-morrowevening。\" \"Well?\" Heburstoutwithit,atlast。\"Areyoucomingtodrinkteawithmymaster?\" \"Ofcourse,Iamcoming!Mr。Gloody,doyouknowthatyourathersurpriseme?\" \"Ihopenooffence,sir。\" \"Nonsense!Itseemsodd,mygoodfellow,thatyourmastershouldn’thavetoldyouIwascomingtodrinkteawithhim。Isn’tityourbusinesstogetthethingsready?\" Heshiftedfromonefoottoanother,andlookedasifhewishedhimselfoutofmyway。Atalatertimeofmylife,Ihaveobservedthatthesearesignsbywhichanhonestmanisapttoconfessthathehastold,orisgoingtotell,alie。Asitwas,Ionlynoticedthatheansweredconfusedly。 \"Ican’tquitesay,Mr。Roylake,thatmymasterdidn’tmentionthethingtome。\" \"Butyoufailedtounderstandhim——isthatit?\" \"Well,sir,ifIwanttoaskhimanythingIhavetowriteit。I’mslowatwriting,andbadatwriting,andheisn’talwayspatient。However,asyouremindedmejustnow,Ihavegottogetthethingsready。Tocutitshort,perhapsImightsaythatIdidn’tquiteexpectthetea-partywouldcomeoff。\" \"Whyshouldn’titcomeoff?\" \"Well,sir,youmighthavesomeotherengagement。\" Wasthisahint?oronlyanexcuse?Ineithercaseitwashightime,ifhestillrefusedtospeakout,thatIshouldsethimtheexample。 \"Youhavegivenmesomecuriousinformation,\"Isaid,\"onthesubjectoffightingwiththefists;andyouhavemademeunderstandthedifferencebetween’fairhitting’and’foulhitting’。Areyouhittingfairnow?VerylikelyIammistaken——butyouseemtometobetryingtopreventmyacceptingyourmaster’sinvitation。\" Hepulledoffhishatinahurry。 \"Ibegyourpardon,sir;Iwon’tdetainyouanylonger。Ifyouwillallowme,I’lltakemyleave。\" \"Don’tgo,Mr。Gloody,withouttellingmewhetherIamrightorwrong。Istherereallysomeobjectiontomycomingtoteatomorrow?\" \"Quiteamistake,sir,\"hesaid,stillinahurry。\"I’veledyouwrongwithoutmeaningit——beinganignorantman,andnotknowinghowtoexpressmyself。Don’tthinkmeungrateful,Mr。Roylake!Afteryourkindnesstome,I’dgothroughfireandwaterforyou——Iwould!\" Hissunkeneyesmoistened,hisbigvoicefaltered。Ilethimleaveme,inmercytothestrongfeelingwhichIhadinnocentlyroused。ButIshookhandswithhimfirst。Yieldingtooneofmyheadlongimpulses?Yes。Anddoingaveryindiscreetthing?Waitalittle——andweshallsee。 CHAPTERXII WARNEDFORTHELASTTIME! Myloyaltytowardstheafflictedman,whosefriendlyadvancesIhadseengoodreasontoreturn,wasinnosenseshaken。Hisundeservedmisfortunes,hismanlyappealtomeatthespring,hishopelessattachmenttothebeautifulgirlwhoseaversiontowardshimIhadunhappilyencouraged,allpleadedwithmeinhisfavour。Ihadacceptedhisinvitation;andIhadnootherengagementtoclaimme:itwouldhavebeenanactofmeannessamountingtoaconfessionoffear,ifIhadsentanexcuse。Still,whileCristel’sentreatiesandCristel’sinfluencehadfailedtoshakeme,Gloody’sstrangelanguageandGloody’sincomprehensibleconducthadtroubledmymind。Ifeltvaguelyuneasy; irritatedbymyowndepressionofspirits。IfIhadbeenaphilosopher,I shouldhaverecognizedthesymptomsofaverycommonattackofaverywidely-spreadmoralmalady。Themeanestofallhumaninfirmitiesisalsothemostuniversal;andthenameofitisSelf-esteem。 Itisperhapsonlyrighttoaddthatmypatiencehadbeentriedbytheprogressofdomesticevents,whichaffectedLadyLenaandmyself——viewedasvictims。 Calling,withmystepmother,atLordUppercliff’shouselaterintheday,IperceivedthatLadyRachelandMrs。Roylakefound(ormade)anopportunityoftalkingtogetherconfidentiallyinacorner;and,onceortwice,IcaughtthemlookingatLadyLenaandatme。EvenLordUppercliff(perhapsnotyettakenintotheirconfidence)noticedtheproceedingsofthetwoladies,andseemedtobeatalosstounderstandthem。 WhenMrs。RoylakeandIweretogetheragain,onourwayhome,IwaspreparedtohearthepraiseofLadyLena,followedbyadelicateexaminationintothestateofmyheart。Neitheroftheseanticipationswasrealized。Oncemore,mycleverstepmotherhadpuzzledme。 Mrs。Roylaketalkedasfluentlyasever;exhaustingonecommon-placesubjectafteranother,withouttheslightestallusiontomylord’sdaughter,tomymatrimonialprospects,ortomyvisitsatthemill。Iwassecretlyannoyed,feelingthatmystepmother’ssingularindifferencetodomesticinterestsofparamountimportance,atothertimes,musthavesomeobjectinview,entirelybeyondthereachofmypenetration。IfI haddaredtocommitsuchanactofrudeness,Ishouldhavejumpedoutofthecarriage,andhavetoldMrs。RoylakethatImeanttowalkhome。 ThedaywasSunday。Iloiteredaboutthegarden,listeningtothedistantchurch-bellringingfortheafternoonservice。WithoutanycausethatI knewoftoaccountforit,IwassorestlessthatnothingIcoulddoattractedmeorquietedme。 Returningtothehouse,Itriedtooccupymyselfwithmycollectionofinsects,sadlyneglectedoflate。Useless!Myownmothsfailedtointerestme。 Iwentbacktothegarden。Passingtheopenwindowofoneofthelowerroomswhichlookedoutontheterrace,IsawMrs。Roylakereadingabookinsad-coloredbinding。Shewasyawningoveritfearfully,whenshediscoveredthatIwaslookingather。Equaltoanyemergency,thisremarkablewomaninstantlyhandedtomeasecondandsimilarvolume。\"Themostprecioussermons,Gerard,thathavebeenwritteninourtime。\"I lookedatthebook;Iopenedthebook;Irecoveredmypresenceofmind,andhandeditback。Ifafemalehumbugwasononesideofthewindow,amalehumbugwasontheother。\"Pleasekeepitformetilltheevening,\"I said;\"Iamgoingforawalk。\" WhichwaydidIturnmysteps? Menwillwonderwhatpossessedme——womenwillthinkitaproceedingthatdidmecredit——Itookthefamiliarroadwhichledtothegloomywoodandtheguiltyriver。ThelonginginmetoseeCristelagain,wasmorethanI couldresist。NotbecauseIwasinlovewithher;onlybecauseIhadleftherindistress。 Beyondthespring,andwithinashortdistanceoftheriver,Isawaladyadvancingtowardsmeonthepathwhichledfromthemill。 Brisk,smiling,trippingalonglikeayounggirl,beholdthemock-republican,knowninourneighborhoodasLadyRachel!Sheheldoutbothhandstome。Butforherpetticoats,IshouldhavethoughtIhadmetwithajollyyoungman。 \"Ihavebeenwanderinginyourgloriouswood,Mr。Roylake。AnythingtoescapetherespectableclassesonSunday,patronizingpietyonthewaytoafternoonchurch。Imustpositivelymakeasketchofthecottagebythemill——Imean,ofcourse,thepicturesquesideofit。ThatfinegirlofToller’swasstandingatthedoor。Sheisreallyhandsomerthanever。Areyougoingtoseeher,youwickedman?Whichdoyouadmire——thatgypsycomplexion,orLena’slovelyskin?Both,Ihavenodoubt,atyourage。 Good-bye。\" Whenwehadlefteachother,IthoughtoftheabsentCaptainintheNavywhowasLadyRachel’shusband。Hewasaperfectstranger——butIputmyselfinhisplace,andfeltthatItooshouldhavegonetosea。 OldTollerwasaloneinhiskitchen,evidentlyannoyedandangry。 \"Weareallatsixesandsevens,Mr。Gerard。I’vehadanotherrowwiththatdeaf-devil——mynewnameforhim,andIthinkit’sratherclever。Heswears,sir,thathewon’tgoattheendofhisweek’snotice。Says,ifI thinkI’mlikelytogetridofhimbeforehehasmarriedCristy,I’mmistaken。Threatens,ifanymanattemptstotakeheraway,he’llshoother,andshoottheman,andshoothimself。Aha!oldasIam,ifhebelieveshe’sgoingtohaveitallhisownway,he’smistaken。I’llbeevenwithhim。Youmarkmywords:I’llbeevenwithhim。\" ThatoldToller——themostexasperatingofmen,judgedbyaquicktemper——hadirritatedmyfriendintospeakingrashlywasplainenough。 Nevertheless,Ifeltsomeanxiety(jealousanxiety,Iamafraid)aboutCristel。Afterlookingroundthekitchenagain,Iaskedwhereshewas。 \"Sittingforlorninherbedroom,crying,\"herfathertoldme。\"Iwentoutforawalkbytheriver,andIsatdown,and(beingSunday)Ifellasleep。WhenIwoke,andgothomeagainjustnow,thatwashowIfoundher。Idon’tliketohearmygirlcrying;she’sasgoodasgoldandbetter。No,sir;ourdeaf-devilisnottoblameforthis。HehasgivenCristynoreasontocomplainofhim。Shesayssoherself——andshenevertoldalieyet。\" \"But,Mr。Toller,\"Iobjected,\"somethingmusthavehappenedtodistressher。Hasshenottoldyouwhatitis?\" \"Notshe!Obstinateaboutit。Leavesmetoguess。It’scleartomymind,Mr。Gerard,thatsomebodyhasgotatherinmyabsence,andsaidsomethingtoupsether。Youwillaskmewhothepersonis。Ican’tsayI havefoundthatoutyet。\" \"Butyoumeantotry?\" \"Yes;Imeantotry。\" Heansweredmewithlittleoftheenergywhichgenerallydistinguishedhim。Perhapshewasfatigued,orperhapshehadsomethingelsetothinkof。Iofferedasuggestion。 \"Whenweareinwantofhelp,\"Isaid,\"wesometimesfindit,nearerthanwehadventuredtoexpect——atourowndoors。\" Theancientmillerroseatthathintlikeafishatafly。 \"Gloody!\"hecried。 \"Findhimatonce,Mr。Toller。\" Hehobbledtothedoor——andlookedroundatme。\"I’vegotburdensonmymind,\"heexplained,\"orIshouldhavethoughtofittoo。\"Havingdonejusticetohisownabilities,hebustledout。Inlessthanaminute,hewasbackagaininastateofbreathlesstriumph。\"Gloodyhasseentheperson,\"heannounced;\"and(whatdoyouthink,sir?)it’sawoman!\" IbeckonedtoGloody,waitingmodestlyatthedoor,tocomein,andtellmewhathehaddiscovered。 \"Isawheroutside,sir——rappingatthedoorhere,withherparasol。\" Thatwastheservant’sreport。 Herparasol?NotbeingacquaintedwiththedevelopmentofdressamongfemaleservantsinEngland,Iaskedifshewasalady。Thereseemedtobenodoubtofitintheman’smind。Shewasalso,asGloodysupposed,apersonwhomhehadneverseenbefore。 \"Howisityouarenotsureofthat?\"Isaid。 \"Well,sir,shewaswaitingtobeletin;andIwasbehindher,comingoutofthewood。\" \"Wholetherin?\" \"MissCristel。\"Hisfacebrightenedwithanexpressionofinterestwhenhementionedthemiller’sdaughter。Hewentonwithhisstorywithoutwantingquestionstohelphim。\"MissCristellookedlikeapersonsurprisedatseeingastranger——what_I_shouldcallafreeandeasystranger。Shewalkedin,sir,asiftheplacebelongedtoher。\" Iamnotsuspiciousbynature,asIhopeandbelieve。ButIbegantoberemindedofLadyRachelalready。 \"Didyounoticethelady’sdress?\"Iasked。 Awomanwhohadseenherwouldhavebeenabletodescribeeverymorselofherdressfromheadtofoot。Themanhadonlyobservedherhat;andallhecouldsaywasthathethoughtit\"asmartishone。\" \"Anyparticularcolor?\"Iwenton。 \"NotthatIknowof。Darkgreen,Ithink。\" \"Anyornamentinit?\" \"Yes!Apurplefeather。\" ThehatIhadseenontheheadofthathatefulwomanwasnowsufficientlydescribed——foraman。SlyoldToller,leavingGloodyunnoticed,andkeepinghiseyeonme,sawthesignsofconvictioninmyface,andsaidwithhiscustomaryaudacity:\"Whoisshe?\" Ifollowed,atmyhumbledistance,theexampleofSirWalterScott,wheninquisitivepeopleaskedhimifhewastheauthoroftheWaverleyNovels。 InplainEnglish,Ideniedallknowledgeofthestrangerwearingthegreenhat。But,IwasnaturallydesirousofdiscoveringnextwhatLadyRachelhadsaid;andIaskedtospeakwithCristel。Herfar-seeingfathermightormightnothaveperceivedachanceoflisteningtoourconversation。Heledmetothedoorofhisdaughter’sroom;andstoodcloseby,whenIknockedsoftly,andbeggedthatshewouldcomeout。 Thetoneofthepoorgirl’svoice——answering,\"Forgiveme,sir;Ican’tdoit\"——convictedtheshe-socialist(asIthought)ofmercilessconductofsomesort。Assumingthisconclusiontobetherightone,Idetermined,thenandthere,thatLadyRachelshouldnotpassthedoorsofTrimleyDeenagain。Ifherbosom-friendresentedthatwiseactofseveritybyleavingthehouse,Ishouldsubmitwithresignation,andshouldrememberthecircumstancewithpleasure。 \"Iamafraidyouareill,Cristel?\"wasallIcouldfindtosay,underthedoubledisadvantageofspeakingthroughadoor,andhavingafatherlisteningatmyside。 \"Ohno,Mr。Gerard,notill。Alittlelowinmymind,that’sall。Idon’tmeantoberude,sir——praybekindertomethanever!prayletmebe!\" IsaidIwouldreturnonthenextday;andlefttheroomwithasoreheart。 OldTollerhighlyapprovedofmyconduct。Herubbedhisfleshlesshands,andwhispered:\"You’llgetitoutofCristyto-morrow,andI’llhelpyou。\" IfoundGloodywaitingformeoutsidethecottage。HewasanxiousaboutMissCristel;hisonlyexcuse,hetoldme,beingthefearthatshemightbeill。Havingsethimatease,inthatparticular,Isaid:\"YouseemtobeinterestedinMissCristel。\" Hisanswerraisedhimastephigherinmyestimation。 \"HowcanIhelpit,sir?\" Anoddman,withapersonalappearancethatmightexciteaprejudiceagainsthim,insomeminds。Ifailedtoseeitmyselfinthatlight。Itstruckme,asIwalkedhome,thatCristelmighthavemademanyaworsefriendthantheretiredprize-fighter。 AchangeinmymannerwasofcourseremarkedbyMrs。Roylake’sreadyobservation。ItoldherthatIhadbeenannoyed,andofferednootherexplanation。Wonderfultorelate,sheshowednocuriosityandnosurprise。Morewonderfulstill,ateveryfairopportunitythatoffered,shekeptoutofmyway。 Mynextday’sengagementbeingforseveno’clockintheevening,IputMrs。Roylake’sself-controltoanewtest。Withprefatoryexcuses,I informedherthatIshouldnotbeabletodineathomeasusual。 Impossibleasitwasthatshecouldhavebeenpreparedtohearthis,herpresenceofmindwasequaltotheoccasion。Ileftthehouse,followedbymystepmother’sbestwishesforapleasantevening。 HopingtospeakwithCristelalone,Ihadarrangedtoreachthecottagebeforeseveno’clock。 Ontheriver-marginofthewood,Iwasconfrontedbyawildgleamofbeautyinthefamiliarview,forwhichpreviousexperiencehadnotpreparedme。AmIwronginbelievingthatallscenery,nomatterhowmagnificentorhowhomelyitmaybe,derivesasplendornotitsownfromfavouringconditionsoflightandshade?Ourgloomytreesandourrepellentriverpresentedanaspectsuperblytransfigured,undertheshadowsofthetoweringclouds,thefantasticwreathsofthemist,andtheluridreddeningofthesunasitstoopedtoitssetting。Lovelyinterfusionsofsoberedcolorrested,faded,returnedagain,ontheupperleavesofthefoliageastheylightlymoved。Themist,rollingcapriciouslyoverthewaters,revealedthegrandlydeliberatecourseoftheflowingcurrent,whileitdimmedtheturbidearthyyellowthatdiscoloredanddegradedthestreamunderthefullglareofday。Whilemyeyesfollowedthesuccessivetransformationsoftheview,asthehouradvanced,tenderandsolemninfluencesbreathedtheirbalmovermymind。 Days,happydaysthatwerepast,revived。Again,Iwalkedhandinhandwithmymother,amongthescenesthatwereroundme,andlearntfromhertobegratefulforthebeautyoftheearth,withaheartthatfeltit。Weweretracingourwayalongourfavoritewoodlandpath;andwefoundacompanionoftenderyears,hidingfromus。Sheshowedherself;blushing,hesitating,offeringanosegayofwildflowers。Mymotherwhisperedtome——Ithankedthelittlemill-girl,andgaveherakiss。DidIfeelthechild’sbreath,inmyday-dream,stillflutteringonmycheek?WasI consciousofhertouch?Istarted,trembled,returnedreluctantlytomypresentself。Avisiblehandtouchedmyarm。AsIturnedsuddenly,alivingbreathplayedonmyface。Thechildhadfadedintoavanishingshade:theperfectedwomanwhohadgrownfromherhadstolenonmeunawares,andwasaskingmetopardonher。\"Mr。Gerard,youwerelostinyourthoughts;Ispoke,andyouneverheardme。\" Ilookedatherinsilence。 WasthisthedearCristelsowellknowntome?Orwasitamockeryofherthathadtakenherplace? \"IhopeIhavenotoffendedyou?\"shesaid。 \"Youhavesurprisedme,\"Ianswered。\"Somethingmusthavehappened,sinceIsawyoulast。Whatisit?\" \"Nothing。\" Iadvancedastep,anddrewherclosertome。Adarkflushdiscoloredherface。Anoverpoweringbrilliancyflashedfromhereyes;therewasanhystericaldefianceinhermanner。\"Areyouexcited?areyouangry?areyoutryingtostartlemebyactingapart?\"Iurgedthosequestionsonher,oneafteranother;andIwasloudlyandconfidentlyanswered。 \"IdaresayIamexcited,Mr。Gerard,bythehonorthathasbeendoneme。 Youaregoingtokeepyourengagement,ofcourse?Well,yourfriend,yourfavoritefriend,hasinvitedmetomeetyou。No!that’snotquitetrue。I invitedmyself——thedeafgentlemansubmitted。\" \"Whydidyouinviteyourself?\" \"Becauseatea-partyisnotcompletewithoutawoman。\" Hermannerwasasstrangelyalteredasherlooks。Thatshewasbesideherselfforthemoment,Iclearlysaw。Thatshehadansweredmeunreservedly,itwasimpossibletobelieve。Ibegantofeelangry,whenI oughttohavemadeallowancesforher。 \"IsthisLadyRachel’sdoing?\"Isaid。 \"WhatdoyouknowofLadyRachel,sir?\" \"Iknowthatshehasvisitedyou,andspokentoyou。\" \"Doyouknowwhatshehassaid?\" \"Icanguess。\" \"Mr。Gerard,don’tabusethatgoodandkindlady。Shedeservesyourgratitudeaswellasmine。\" Hermannerhadbecomequieter;herfacewasmorecomposed;herexpressionalmostrecovereditsnaturalcharmwhileshespokeofLadyRachel。Iwasstupefied。 \"Try,sir,toforgetitandforgiveit,\"sheresumedgently,\"ifIhavemisbehavedmyself。Idon’trightlyknowwhatIamsayingordoing。\" Ipointedtothenewsideofthecottage,behindus。 \"Isthecausethere?\"Iasked。 \"No!noindeed!Ihavenotseenhim;Ihavenotheardfromhim。Hisservantoftenbringsmemessages。Notonemessageto-day。\" \"HaveyouseenGloodyto-day?\" \"Oh,yes!There’sonething,ifImaymakesobold,Ishouldliketoknow。Mr。Gloodyisasgoodtomeasgoodcanbe;weseeeachothercontinually,livinginthesameplace。Butyouaredifferent;andhetellsmehimselfhehasonlyseenyoutwice。Whathaveyoudone,Mr。 Gerard,tomakehimlikeyousowell,inthatshorttime?\" Itoldherthathehadbeenfoundinmygarden,lookingattheflowers。 \"Ashehaddonenoharm,\"Isaid,\"Iwouldn’tallowtheservanttoturnhimout;andIwalkedroundtheflower-bedswithhim。Littleenoughtodeservesuchgratitudeasthepoorfellowexpressed——andfelt,Idon’tdoubtit。\" Ihadintendedtosaynomorethanthis。ButtheremembranceofGloody’smysteriousprevarication,andoftheuneasinesswhichIhadundoubtedlyfeltwhenIthoughtofitafterwards,ledme(Icannotpretendtosayhow)intoassociatingCristel’sagitationwithsomethingwhichthismanmighthavesaidtoher。Iwasonthepointofputtingthequestion,whensheheldupherhand,andsaid,\"Hush!\" Thewindwasblowingtowardsusfromtheriver-sidevillage,towhichI havealreadyalluded。IamnotsurewhetherIhavementionedthatthenameoftheplacewasKylam。Itwassituatedbehindapromontoryoftheriver-bank,clothedthicklywithtrees,andwasnotvisiblefromthemill。Inthepresentdirectionofthewind,wecouldhearthestrikingofthechurchclock。Cristelcountedthestrokes。 \"Seven,\"shesaid。\"Areyoudeterminedtokeepyourengagement?\" Shehadrepeated——inanunsteadyvoice,andwithasuddenchangeinhercolortopaleness——thestrangequestionputtomebyGloody。InhiscaseIhadfailedtotracethemotive。Itriedtodiscoveritnow。 \"TellmewhyIoughttobreakmyengagement,\"Isaid。 \"RememberwhatItoldyouatthespring,\"sheanswered。\"Youaredeceivedbyafalsefriendwholiestoyouandhatesyou。\" Themanshewasspeakingofturnedthecornerofthenewcottage。Hewavedhishandgaily,andapproachedusalongtheroad。 \"Go!\"shesaid。\"Yourguardianangelhasforgottenyou。It’stoolatenow。\" Insteadoflettingmeprecedeher,asIhadanticipated,sheranonbeforeme——madeasigntothedeafman,asshepassedhim,nottostopher——anddisappearedthroughtheopendoorofherfather’ssideofthecottage。 Iwaslefttodecideformyself。WhatshouldIhavedone,ifIhadbeentwentyyearsolder? Saythatmymoralcouragewouldhaverisensuperiortothepoorestofallfears,thefearofappearingtobeafraid,andthatIshouldhavemademyexcusestomyhostoftheevening——howwouldmymoralcouragehaveansweredhim,ifhehadaskedforanexplanation?Uselesstospeculateonit!HadIpossessedthewisdomofmiddlelife,hisbookofleaveswouldnothavetoldhim,inmyownhandwriting,thatIbelievedinhisbetternature,andacceptedhisfriendlyletterinthespiritinwhichhehadwrittenExplainitwhocan——IknewthatIwasgoingtodrinkteawithhim,andyetIwasunwillingtoadvanceafewsteps,andmeethimontheroad! \"Ifindanewbondofunionbetweenus,\"hesaid,ashejoinedme。\"Webothfeel_that。_\"Hepointedtothegrandlydarkeningview。\"Thetwomenwhocouldhavepaintedthemysteryofthosegrowingshadowsandfadinglights,lieinthegravesofRembrandtandTurner。Shallwegototea?\" Onourwaytohisroomwestoppedatthemiller’sdoor。 \"Will_you_inquire,\"hesaid,\"ifMissCristelisready?\" Iwentin。OldTollerwasinthekitchen,smokinghispipewithoutappearingtoenjoyit。 \"What’scometomygirl?\"heasked,themomenthesawme。\"Yesterdayshewasinherroom,crying。To-dayshe’sinherroom,praying。\" ThewarningswhichIhadneglectedroseinjudgmentagainstme。Iwassilent;Iwasawed。BeforeIrecoveredmyself,Cristelenteredthekitchen。Herfatherwhispered,\"Lookather!\" Oftheexcitementwhichhaddisturbed——Ihadalmostsaid,profaned——herbeautifulface,notavestigeremained。Pale,composed,resolute,shesaid,\"Iamready,\"andledthewayout。 Themanwhomshehatedofferedhisarm。Shetookit! CHAPTERXIII THECLARETJUG IperceivedbutonechangeintheLodger’smiserableroom,sinceIhadseenitlast。 Asecondtablewassetagainstoneofthewalls。Ourboilingwaterfortheteawaskeptthere,inasilverkettleheatedbyaspirit-lamp。I nextobservedadelicatelittlechinavasewhichheldthetea,andafinely-designedglassclaretjug,withasilvercover。Othermen,possessingthatbeautifulobject,wouldhavethoughtitworthyofthepurestBordeauxwinewhichtheartsofmodernadulterationpermitustodrink。Thismanhadfilledtheclaretjugwithwater。 \"Allmyvaluableproperty,ostentatiouslyexposedtoview,\"hesaid,inhisbitterlyfacetiousmanner。\"Mylandlord’spropertymatchesitonthebigtable。\" Thebigtablepresentedacoarseearthenwareteapot;cupsandsaucerswithpieceschippedoutofthem;acrackedmilkjug;atumblerwhichservedasasugarbasin;andanoldvegetabledish,honoredbyholdingdelicateFrenchsweet-meatsforthefirsttimesinceithadlefttheshop。 Mydeaffriend,inboisterouslygoodspirits,pointedbackwardsandforwardsbetweenthepreciousandtheworthlessobjectsonthetwotables,asifhesawaprospectthatdelightedhim。 \"Idon’tbelievethemanlives,\"hesaid,\"whoenjoysContrastasI do。——Whatdoyouwantnow?\" ThisquestionwasaddressedtoGloody,whohadjustenteredtheroom。Hetouchedtheearthenwareteapot。Hismasteranswered:\"Letitalone。\" \"Imaketheteaatothertimes,\"themanpersisted,lookingatme。 \"Whatdoeshesay?Writeitdownforme,Mr。Roylake。Ibegyouwillwriteitdown。\" Therewasangerinhiseyesashemadethatrequest。Itookhisbook,andwrotethewords——harmlesswords,surely?Hereadthem,andturnedsavagelytohisunfortunateservant。 \"Inthedayswhenyouwerearuffianintheprize-ring,didtheothermen’sfistsbeatallthebrainsoutofyourhead?DoyouthinkyoucanmaketeathatisfitforMr。Roylaketodrink?\" Hepointedtoanopendoor,communicatingwithanotherbedroom。Gloody’seyesrestedsteadilyonCristel:shefailedtonoticehim,beingoccupiedatthemomentinreplacingthepinofabroochwhichhadslippedoutofherdress。Themanwithdrewintothesecondbedroom,andsoftlyclosedthedoor。 Ourhostrecoveredhisgoodhumor。Hetookawoodenstool,andseatedhimselfbyCristel。 \"Borrowedfurniture,\"hesaid,\"aswellasborrowedtea-things。WhatadebtofobligationIowetoyourexcellentfather。Howquietyouare,deargirl。Doyouregrethavingfollowedtheimpulsewhichmadeyoukindlyoffertodrinkteawithus?\"Hesuddenlyturnedtome。\"Anotherproof,Mr。Roylake,ofthesisterlyinterestthatshefeelsinyou;shecan’thearofyourcomingtomyroom,withoutwantingtobewithyou。Ah,youpossessthemysteriousattractionswhichfascinatethesex。Oneofthesedays,_some_womanwillloveyouasnevermanwaslovedyet。\"HeaddressedhimselfagaintoCristel。\"Stilloutofspirits?Idaresayyouaretiredofwaitingforyourtea。No?Youhavehadteaalready?It’sGloody’sfault;heoughttohavetoldmethatseveno’clockwastoolateforyou。Thepoordevildeservedthatyoushouldtakenonoticeofhimwhenhelookedatyoujustnow。Areyouoneofthefewwomenwhodislikeanuglyman?Womeningeneral,Icantellyou,preferuglymen。A handsomemanmatchesthemontheirownground,andtheydon’tlikethat。 ’Wearesofondofouruglyhusbands;theysetusofftosuchadvantage。’ Oh,Idon’treportwhattheysay;Ispeakthelanguageinwhichtheythink。——Mr。Roylake,doesitstrikeyouthattheCurisasadcynic? By-the-by,doyoucallme’theCur’(asIsuggested)whenyouspeakofmetootherpeople——toMissCristel,forinstance?Mycharmingyoungfriends,youbothlookshocked;youbothshakeyourheads。PerhapsIaminoneofmytoleranthumorsto-day;IseenothingdisgracefulinbeingaCur。Heisadogwhorepresentsdifferentbreeds。Verywell,theEnglishareapeoplewhorepresentdifferentbreeds:Saxons,Normans,Danes。Theconsequence,inonecase,isagreatnation。Theconsequence,intheothercase,isthecleverestmemberofthewholedogfamily——asyoumayfindoutforyourselfifyouwillonlyteachhim。Ha——howIamrunningon。Mygueststrytoslipinawordortwo,andcan’tfindtheiropportunity。Enjoyment,MissCristel。Excitement,Mr。Roylake。Formorethanayearpast,Ihavenotluxuriatedinthepleasuresofsociety。I feelthesocialglow;Ilovethehumanfamily;Inever,never,neverwassuchagoodmanasIamnow。Letvileslangexpressmyemotions:isn’titjolly?\" CristelandIstoppedhim,atthesamemoment。Weinstinctivelyliftedourhandstoourears。 Inhisdeliriumofhighspirits,hehadburstthroughtheinvariablemonotonyofhisarticulation。Withouttheslightestgradationofsound,hisvoicebrokesuddenlyintoascreech,prolongedinitsowndiscorduntilitbecameperfectlyunendurabletohear。Theeffectthathehadproduceduponuswasnotlostonhim。Hisheadsankonhisbreast;horridshudderingsshookhimwithoutmercy;hesaidtohimselfnottous: \"IhadforgottenIwasdeaf。\" Therewasawholeworldofmiseryinthosesimplewords。Cristelkeptherplace,unmoved。Irose,andputmyhandkindlyonhisshoulder。ItwasthebestwayIcoulddeviseofassuringhimofmysympathy。 Helookedupatme,insilence。 Hisbookofleaveswasonthetable;hedidoncemore,whathehadalreadydoneatthespring。Insteadofusingthebookasusual,hewroteinithimself,andthenhandedittome。 \"Letmespareyournervesarepetitionofmydeafdiscord。Sight,smell,touch,taste——Iwouldgivethemalltobeabletohear。Inremindingmeofthatvainaspiration,myinfirmityrevengesitself:mydeafnessisnotaccustomedtobeforgotten。Well!Icanbesilentlyuseful;Icanmakethetea。\" Herose,and,takingtheteapotwithhim,wenttothetablethathadbeenplacedagainstthewall。Inthatposition,hisbackwasturnedtowardsus。 Atthesametime,Ifelthisbookgentlytakenoutofmyhand。Cristelhadbeenreading,whileIread,overmyshoulder。Shewroteonthenextblankleaf:\"ShallImakethetea?\" \"Now,\"shesaidtome,\"noticewhathappens。\" Followinghim,shetouchedhisarm,andpresentedherrequest。Heshookhisheadintokenofrefusal。Shecamebacktoherplacebyme。 \"Youexpectedthat?\"Isaid。 \"Yes。\" \"Whydidyouaskmetonoticehisrefusal?\" \"BecauseImaywanttoremindyouthathewouldn’tletmemakethetea。\" \"Mysteries,mydear?\" \"Yes:mysteries。\" \"Nottobementionedmoreparticularly?\" \"Iwillmentiononeofthemmoreparticularly。Aftertheteahasbeenmade,youmaypossiblyfeelmetouchyourkneeunderthetable。\" Iwasfoolenoughtosmileatthis,andwiseenoughafterwardstoseeinherfacethatIhadmadeamistake。 \"Whatisyourtouchintendedtomean?\"Iasked。 \"Itmeans,’Wait,’shesaid。\" Mysenseofhumorwas,bythistime,completelyheldincheck。Thatsomesurprisewasinstoreforme,andthatCristelwasresolvednottotakemeintoherconfidence,wereconclusionsatwhichInaturallyarrived。I felt,andsurelynotwithoutgoodcause,alittleannoyed。TheLodgercamebacktouswiththeteamade。Asheputtheteapotonthetable,heapologizedtoCristel。 \"Don’tthinkmerude,inrefusingyourkindoffer。IfthereisonethingIknowIcandobetterthananybodyelse,thatthingismakingtea。Doyoutakesugarandmilk,Mr。Roylake?\" Imadetheaffirmativesign。Hepouredoutthetea。Whenhehadfilledtwocups,thesupplywasexhausted。CristelandInoticedthis。Hesawit,andatoncegratifiedourcuriosity。 \"Itisarule,\"hesaid,\"withmastersintheartofmakingtea,thatoneinfusionoughtnevertobeusedtwice。Ifwewantanymore,wewillmakemore;andifyoufeelinclinedtojoinus,MissCristel,wewillfillthethirdcup。\" Whatwasthereinthis(Iwondered)tomakeherturnpale?Andwhy,afterwhathehadjustsaid,didIseehereyeswillinglyrestonhim,forthefirsttimeinmyexperience?Entirelyatalosstounderstandher,I resignedlystirredmytea。Onthepointoftastingitnext,feltherhandonmyknee,underthetable。 BewilderedasIwas,Iobeyedmyinstructions,andwentonstirringmytea。Ourhostsmiled。 \"Yoursugartakesalongtimetomelt,\"hesaid——anddrankhistea。Asheemptiedthecup,thetouchwastakenoffme。Ifollowedhisexample。 Inspiteofhisboasting,theteawastheworstIevertasted。Ishouldhavethrownitoutofthewindow,iftheyhadofferedussuchnastystuffatTrimleyDeen。WhenIsetdownmycup,heaskedfacetiouslyifIwishedhimtobrewanymore。Mynegativeanswerwasamasterpieceofstrongexpression,inthelanguageofsigns。 InsteadofsendingforGloodytoclearthetable,hemovedawaytheobjectsnearhim,soastoleaveanemptyspaceathisdisposal。 \"Ioughtperhapstohavehesitated,beforeIaskedyoutospendtheeveningwithme,\"hesaid,speakingwithagentlenessandamiabilityofmanner,stronglyincontrastwithhisbehavioruptothistime。\"Itismymisfortune,asyoubothwellknow,tobeacheckonconversation。Idaresayyouhaveaskedyourselves:Howishegoingtoamuseus,aftertea?Ifyouwillallowme,Iproposetoamuseyoubyexhibitingthedexterityofmyfingersandthumbs。BeforeIwasdeaf,Ishouldhavepreferredthepianoforthispurpose。Asitis,aninferioraccomplishmentmustservemyturn。\" Heopenedacupboardinthewall,closebythesecondtable,andreturnedwithapackofcards。 Cristelimitatedtheactionofdealingcardsforagame。\"No,\"hesaid,\"thatisnottheamusementwhichIhaveinview。Allowmetopresentmyselfinanewcharacter。IamnolongertheLodger,andnolongertheCur。Mynewnameismorehonorablestill——IamtheConjurer。\" Heshuffledthepackbypouringitbackwardsandforwardsfromonehandtotheother,inacascadeofcards。Thewonderfuleasewithwhichhediditpreparedmeforsomethingworthseeing。Cristel’sadmirationofhisdexterityexpresseditselfbyaprolongedclappingofhands,andastrangeuneasylaugh。Ashisexcitementsubsided,heragitationbrokeout。Isawtheflushagainonherface,andthefierybrightnessinhereyes。Once,whenhisattentionwasengaged,shestolealookatthedoorbywhichGloodyhadlefttheroom。Didthisindicateanotherofthemysterieswhich,byherownconfession,shehadinpreparationforme?Mylateexperiencehadnotinclinedmefavorablytowardsmysteries。I devotedmywholeattentiontotheConjurer。 WhetherhechosetheeasiestexamplesofskillinsleightofhandismorethanIknow。IcanonlysaythatIneverwasmorecompletelymystifiedbyanyprofessoroflegerdemainonthepublicplatform。Aftertheperformanceofeachtrick,heaskedleaveto\"timehimselfbylookingathiswatch;beinganxioustodiscoverifhehadlosthiscustomaryquicknessofexecutionthroughrecentneglectofthenecessarypractice。 OfCristel’sconduct,whilehewasamusingus,IcanonlysaythatitjustifiedMrs。Roylake’sspitefuldescriptionofherasaboldgirl。Themorecleverlythetrickswereperformed,themoretheyseemedtoannoyandprovokeher。 \"Ihatebeingpuzzled!\"shesaid,addressingherselfofcoursetome。 \"Yes,yes;hisfingersarequickerthanmyeyes——Ihaveheardthatexplanationbefore。Whenhehasdoneoneofhistricks,Iwanttoknowhowhedoesit。Conjurersarepeoplewhoaskriddles,and,whenonecan’tguessthem,refusetosaywhattheansweris。It’sasbadascallingmeafool,tosupposethatIlikebeingdeceived。Ah,\"shecried,withashockinginsolenceoflookandmanner,\"ifourfriendcouldonlyhearwhatIamsaying!\" Hehadpausedwhileshewasspeaking,observingherattentively。\"Yourfacedoesn’tencourageme,\"hesaid,withapatienceandcourtesyofmannerwhichitwasimpossiblenottoadmire。\"Iamcominggraduallytomygreatesttriumph;andIthinkIcansurpriseandpleaseyou。\" Hetimedhislasttrick,andreturnedtothetableplacedagainstthewall。 \"Excusemeforamoment,\"heresumed;\"Iamsufferingasusual,afterdrinkingtea。Isodelightinitthatthetemptationto-nightwasmorethanIcouldresist。Teadisagreeswithmyweakstomach。Italwaysproducesthirst。\" \"Whatnonsensehetalks!\"Cristelexclaimed。\"Allmerefancy!Heremindsmeoftheoldsongcalled’TheNervousMan。’Doyouknowit,Mr。 Roylake?\" Inspiteofmyeffortstopreventher,sheburstoutwiththefirstverseofastupidcomicsong。Sparedbyhisdeafnessfromthisinflictionofvulgarity,ourhostfilledatumblerfromthewaterintheclaretjug,anddrankit。 Ashesetthetumblerdown,wewerestartledbyanaccidentinthenextroom。Thefloorwassuddenlyshakenbythesoundofaheavyfall。Thefallwasfollowedbyagroanwhichinstantlybroughtmetomyfeet。 Althoughhisinfirmitymadehimunconsciousofthegroan,myfriendfeltthevibrationofthefloor,andsawmestartupfrommychair。HelookedevenmorealarmedthanIwas,judgingbytheghastlychangethatIsawinhiscolor;andhereachedthedoorofthesecondroomassoonasIdid。 ItisneedlesstosaythatIallowedhimtoenterfirst。 Onthepointoffollowinghim,Ifeltmyselfroughlypulledback。WhenI turnedround,andsawCristel,Ididreallyandtrulybelievethatshewasmad。Thefuriousimpatienceinhereyes,thefrenziedstrengthofhergrasponmyarm,wouldhaveledmostothermentoformthesameconclusion。 \"Come!\"shecried。\"No!notaword。Thereisn’tamomenttolose。\"Shedraggedmeacrosstheroomtothetableonwhichtheclaretjugstood。 Shefilledthetumblerfromit,as_he_hadfilledthetumbler。Thematerialofwhichthejughadbeenmadewassosolid(crystal,notglassasIhadsupposed)thatthefillingofthetwotumblersemptiedit。 Cristelheldthewaterouttome,gaspingforbreath,tremblingasifshesawsomefrightfulreptilebeforeherinsteadofmyself。 \"Drinkit,\"shesaid,\"ifyouvalueyourlife!\" Ishouldofcoursehavefounditperfectlyeasytoobeyher,strangeasherlanguagewas,ifIhadbeeninfullpossessionofmyself。Betweendistressandalarm,mymind(Isuppose)hadlostitsbalance。Withorwithoutacause,Ihesitated。 Shecrossedtheroom,andthrewopenthewindowwhichlookedoutontheriver。 \"Youshan’tdiealone,\"shesaid。\"Ifyoudon’tdrinkit,I’llthrowmyselfout!\" Idrankfromthetumblertothelastdrop。 Itwasnotwater。 IthadatastewhichIcancomparetonodrink,andtonomedicine,knowntome。Ithoughtoftheotherstrangetastepeculiartothetea。Atlast,thetremendoustruthforceditselfonmymind。Themaninwhommyboyishgenerosityhadsofaithfullybelievedhadattemptedmylife。 Cristeltookthetumblerfromme。Mypoorangelclaspedherfreearmroundmyneck,andpressedherlips,inanecstasyofjoy,onmycheek。 Thenextinstant,sheseizedtheclaretjug,anddasheditintopiecesonthefloor。\"Getthejugfromhiswashhand-stand,\"shesaid。WhenIgaveittoher,shepouredsomeofthewateruponthebrokenfragmentsofcrystalscatteredonthefloor。Ihadputthejugbackinitsplace,andwasreturningtoCristel,whenthepoisonershowedhimself,enteringfromtheservant’sroom。 \"Don’tbealarmed,\"hesaid。\"Gloody’snameoughttobeGlutton。Anattackofgiddiness,thoroughlywelldeserved。Ihaverelievedhim。Youremember,Mr。Roylake,thatIwasonceasurgeon——\" Thebrokenclaretjugcaughthiseye。 Wehaveallreadofmenwhowerepetrifiedbyterror。Ofthefewpersonswhohavereallywitnessedthatspectacle,Iamone。Theutterstillnessofhimwasreallyterribletosee。Cristelwroteinhisbookanexcuse,nodoubtpreparedbeforehand:\"Thatfallinthenextroomfrightenedme,andIfeltfaint。Iwenttogetsomewaterfromthejugyoudrankoutof,anditslippedfrommyhand。\" Sheplacedthosewordsunderhiseyes——shemightjustaswellhaveshownthemtothedog。Adeadman,erectonhisfeet——sohelookedtooureyes。 Sohestilllooked,whenItookCristel’sarm,andledheroutofthatdreadfulpresence。 \"Takemeintotheair!\"shewhispered。 Aburstoftearsrelievedher,aftertheunutterablesuspensethatshehadsobravelyendured。Whenshewasinsomedegreecomposedagain,wewalkedgentlyupanddownforaminuteortwointhecoolnightair。 \"Don’tspeaktome,\"shesaid,aswestoppedbeforeherfather’sdoor。\"I amnotfitforityet;Iknowwhatyoufeel。\"Ipressedhertomyheart,andlettheembracespeakforme。Sheyieldedtoit,faintlysighing。 \"To-morrow?\"Iwhispered。Shebentherhead,andleftme。 Walkinghomethroughthewood,Ibecameaware,littlebylittle,thatmythoughtswerenotunderthecustomarycontrol。Overandoveragain,I triedtoreviewtheeventsofthatterribleevening,andfailed。 Fragmentsofothermemoriespresentedthemselves——andthendesertedme。 Nonsense,absolutenonsense,founditswayintomymindnext,androseinidioticwordstomylips。Igrewtoolazyeventotalktomyself。I strayedfromthepath。Themossyearthbegantoriseandsinkundermyfeet,likethewatersinaground-swellatsea。Istoodstill,inastateofidiot-wonder。Thegroundsuddenlyroserightuptomyface。Iremembernomore。 Myfirstconsciousexerciseofmysenses,whenIrevived,cametomebywayofmyears。Leadenweightsseemedtoclosemyeyes,tofettermymovements,tosilencemytongue,toparalyzemytouch。ButIheardawailingvoice,speakingclosetome,soclosethatitmighthavebeenmyownvoice:Idistinguishedthewords;Iknewthetones。 \"Oh,mymaster,mylord,whoamIthatIshouldlive——andyoudie!andyoudie!\" Wasitherwarmyoungbreaththatquickenedmewithitsvigorouslife?I onlyknowthattherevivalofmysenseoftouchdidcertainlyspringfromthecontactofherlips,pressedtomineintherecklessabandonmentofgriefwithouthope。Hercryofjoy,whenmyfirstsightoldherthatI wasstillalivingcreature,ranthroughmelikeanelectricshock。I openedmyeyes;Iheldoutmyhand;Itriedtohelpherwhensheraisedmyhead,andsetmeagainstthetreeunderwhichIhadbeenstretchedhelpless。WithaneffortIcouldcallherbyhername。Eventhatexhaustedme。MymindwassoweakthatIshouldhavebelievedher,ifshehaddeclaredherselftobeaspiritseeninadream,keepingwatchovermeinthewood。 WiserthanIwas,shesnatchedupmyhat,ranonbeforeme,andwaslostinthedarkness。 Aninterval,anunendurableinterval,passed。Shereturned,havingfilledmyhatfromthespring。Butfortheexquisitecoolnessofthewaterfallingonmyface,tricklingdownmythroat,Ishouldhavelostmysensesagain。Inafewminutesmore,Icouldtakethatdearhand,andholdittomeasifIwasholdingtomylife。Wecouldonlyseeeachotherobscurely,andinthatverycircumstance(asweconfessedtoeachotherafterwards)wefoundtheneedfulcomposurebeforewecouldspeak。