Contents：
BrooksmithTheRealThingTheStoryofItFlickerbridgeMrs。MedwinBROOKSMITH
Wearescatterednow，thefriendsofthelateMr。OliverOfford;
butwheneverwechancetomeetIthinkweareconsciousofacertainesotericrespectforeachother。\"Yes，youtoohavebeeninArcadia，\"weseemnottoogrumpilytoallow。WhenIpassthehouseinMansfieldStreetIrememberthatArcadiawasthere。I
don’tknowwhohasitnow，anddon’twanttoknow;it’senoughtobesosurethatifIshouldringthebelltherewouldbenosuchluckformeasthatBrooksmithshouldopenthedoor。Mr。Offord，themostagreeable，themostattachingofbachelors，wasaretireddiplomatist，livingonhispensionandonsomethingofhisownoverandabove;agooddealconfined，byhisinfirmities，tohisfiresideanddelightedtobefoundthereanyafternoonintheyear，fromfiveo’clockon，bysuchvisitorsasBrooksmithallowedtocomeup。Brooksmithwashisbutlerandhismostintimatefriend，towhomweallstood，orIshouldsaysat，inthesamerelationinwhichthesubjectofthesovereignfindshimselftotheprimeminister。Byhavingbeenforyears，inforeignlands，themostdelightfulEnglishmananyonehadeverknown，Mr。Offordhadinmyopinionrenderedsignalservicetohiscountry。ButIsupposehehadbeentoomuchliked——likedevenbythosewhodidn’tlikeIT——sothataspeopleofthatsortnevergettitlesordotationsforthehorridthingsthey’veNOTdone，hisprincipalrewardwassimplythatwewenttoseehim。
Ohwewentperpetually，anditwasnotourfaultifhewasnotoverwhelmedwiththisparticularhonour。Anyvisitorwhocameoncecameagain;tocomemerelyoncewasaslightnobody，I’msure，hadeverputuponhim。Hiscirclethereforewasessentiallycomposedofhabitues，whowerehabituesforeachotheraswellasforhim，asthoseofahappysalonshouldbe。Iremembervividlyeveryelementoftheplace，downtotheintenselyLondonishlookofthegreyoppositehouses，inthegapofthewhitecurtainsofthehighwindows，andtheexactspotwhere，onaparticularafternoon，Iputdownmytea-cupforBrooksmith，lingeringaninstant，togatheritupasifhewerepluckingaflower。Mr。Offord’sdrawing-roomwasindeedBrooksmith’sgarden，hisprunedandtendedhumanparterre，andifweallflourishedthereandgrewwellinourplacesitwaslargelyowingtohissupervision。
Manypersonshaveheardmuch，thoughmosthavedoubtlessseenlittle，ofthefamousinstitutionofthesalon，andmanyareborntothedepressionofknowingthatthisfinestflowerofsocialliferefusestobloomwheretheEnglishtongueisspoken。Theexplanationisusuallythatourwomenhavenottheskilltocultivateit——thearttodirectthroughasmilingland，betweensuggestiveshores，asinuousstreamoftalk。Myaffectionate，mypiousmemoryofMr。Offordcontradictsthisinductiononly，Ifear，moreinsidiouslytoconfirmit。Thesallowandslightlysmokeddrawing-roominwhichhespentsolargeaportionofthelastyearsofhislifecertainlydeservedthedistinguishedname;butontheotherhanditcouldn’tbesaidatalltooweitsstamptoanyinterventionthrowingintoreliefthefactthattherewasnoMrs。
Offord。Thedearmanhadindeed，atthemost，beencapableofoneofthosesacrificestowhichwomenaredeemedpeculiarlyapt：hehadrecognised——undertheinfluence，insomedegree，itistrue，ofphysicalinfirmity——thatifyouwishpeopletofindyouathomeyoumustmanagenottobeout。Hehadinshortacceptedthetruthwhichmanydabblersinthesocialartareslowtolearn，thatyoumustreally，astheysay，takealine，andthattheonlywayasyetdiscoveredofbeingathomeistostayathome。Finallyhisownfiresidehadbecomeasummaryofhishabits。Whyshouldheeverhaveleftit？——sincethiswouldhavebeenleavingwhatwasnotoriouslypleasantestinLondon，thecompactcharmedcluster（thinningawayindeedintocasualcouples）roundthefineoldlast-
centurychimney-piecewhich，withtheexceptionoftheremarkablecollectionofminiatures，wasthebestthingtheplacecontained。
Mr。Offordwasn’trich;hehadnothingbuthispensionandtheuseforlifeofthesomewhatsuperannuatedhouse。
WhenI’mremindedbysomeopposeddiscomfortofthepresenthourhowperfectlywewereallhandledthere，Iaskmyselfoncemorewhathadbeenthesecretofsuchperfection。Onehadtakenitforgrantedatthetime，foranythingthatissupremelygoodproducesmoreacceptancethansurprise。Ifeltwewereallhappy，butI
didn’tconsiderhowourhappinesswasmanaged。Andyettherewerequestionstobeasked，questionsthatstrikemeassingularlyobviousnowthatthere’snobodytoanswerthem。Mr。Offordhadsolvedtheinsoluble;hehad，withoutfemininehelp——saveinthesensethatladiesweredyingtocometohimandthathesavedthelivesofseveral——establishedasalon;butImighthaveguessedthattherewasamethodinhismadness，alawinhissuccess。Hehadn’thititoffbyamerefluke。Therewasanartinitall，andhowwastheartsohidden？Whoindeedifitcametothatwastheoccultartist？LaunchingthisinquirytheotherdayIhadalreadygotholdofthetailofmyreply。Iwashelpedbytheverywonderofsomeoftheconditionsthatcamebacktome——thosethatusedtoseemasnaturalassunshineinafineclimate。
Howwasitforinstancethatweneverwereacrowd，nevereithertoomanyortoofew，alwaystherightpeopleWITHtherightpeople——
theremustreallyhavebeennowrongpeopleatall——alwayscomingandgoing，neverstickingfastnoroverstaying，yetneverpoppinginoroutwithanindecorousfamiliarity？Howwasitthatweallsatwherewewantedandmovedwhenwewantedandmetwhomwewantedandescapedwhomwewanted;joining，accordingtotheaccidentofinclination，thegeneralcircleorfallinginwithasingletalkeronaconvenientsofa？Whywereallthesofassoconvenient，theaccidentssohappy，thetalkerssoready，thelistenerssowilling，thesubjectspresentedtoyouinarotationasquicklyforeordainedasthecoursesatdinner？Adearthoftopicswouldhavebeenasunheardofasalapseintheservice。Thesespeculationscouldn’tfailtoleadmetothefundamentaltruththatBrooksmithhadbeensomehowatthebottomofthemystery。Ifhehadn’testablishedthesalonatleasthehadcarriediton。Brooksmithinshortwastheartist！
Wefeltthiscovertlyatthetime，withoutformulatingit，andwereconscious，asanorderedandprosperouscommunity，ofhiseven-
handedjustice，alluntaintedwithflunkeyism。Hehadnoneofthatvulgarity——histouchwasinfinitelyfine。Thedelicacyofitwascleartomeonthefirstoccasionmyeyesrested，astheyweresooftentorestagain，onthedomesticrevealed，intheturbidlightofthestreet，bytheopeningofthehouse-door。Isawonthespotthatthoughhehadplentyofschoolhecarrieditwithoutarrogance——hehadremainedarticulateandhuman。L’EcoleAnglaiseMr。Offordusedlaughinglytocallhimwhen，lateron，ithappenedmorethanoncethatwehadsomeconversationabouthim。ButI
rememberaccusingMr。Offordofnotdoinghimquiteidealjustice。
Thathewasn’toneofthegiantsoftheschool，however，wasadmittedbymyoldfriend，whoreallyunderstoodhimperfectlyandwasdevotedtohim，asIshallshow;whichdoubtlesspoorBrooksmithhadhimselffelt，tohiscost，whenhisvalueinthemarketwasoriginallydetermined。Theutilityofhisclassingeneralisestimatedbythefootandtheinch，andpoorBrooksmithhadonlyaboutfivefeetthreetoputintocirculation。Heacknowledgedtheinadequacyofthisprovision，andI’msurewaspenetratedwiththeeverlastingfitnessoftherelationbetweenserviceandstature。IfHEhadbeenMr。OffordhecertainlywouldhavefoundBrooksmithwanting，andindeedthelaxityofhisemployeronthisscorewasoneofmanythingshehadhadtocondoneandtowhichhehadatlastindulgentlyadaptedhimself。
Iremembertheoldman’ssayingtome：\"Ohmyservants，iftheycanlivewithmeafortnighttheycanlivewithmeforever。Butit’sthefirstfortnightthattries’em。\"ItwasinthefirstfortnightforinstancethatBrooksmithhadhadtolearnthathewasexposedtobeingaddressedas\"mydearfellow\"and\"mypoorchild。\"
Strangeanddeepmustsuchaprobationhavebeentohim，andhedoubtlessemergedfromittemperedandpurified。Thiswaswrittentoacertainextentinhisappearance;inhissparebrisklittleperson，inhiscloisteredwhitefaceandextraordinarilypolishedhair，whichtoldofresponsibility，lookedasifitwerekeptuptothesamehighstandardastheplate;inhissmallclearanxiouseyes，eveninthepermitted，thoughnotexactlyencouraged，tuftonhischin。\"Hethinksmerathermad，butI’vebrokenhimin，andnowhelikestheplace，helikesthecompany，\"saidtheoldman。I
embracedthisfullyafterIhadbecomeawarethatBrooksmith’smaincharacteristicwasadeepandshyrefinement，thoughIrememberI
wasratherpuzzledwhen，onanotheroccasion，Mr。Offordremarked：
\"Whathelikesisthetalk——minglingintheconversation。\"IwasconsciousIhadneverseenBrooksmithpermithimselfthisfreedom，butIguessedinamomentthatwhatMr。Offordalludedtowasaparticipationmoreintensethananyspeechcouldhaverepresented——
thatofbeingperpetuallypresentonahundredlegitimatepretexts，errands，necessities，andbreathingtheveryatmosphereofcriticism，thefamouscriticismoflife。\"Quiteaneducation，sir，isn’tit，sir？\"hesaidtomeonedayatthefootofthestairswhenhewaslettingmeout;andI’vealwaysrememberedthewordsandthetoneasthefirstsignofthequickeningdramaofpoorBrooksmith’sfate。Itwasindeedaneducation，buttowhatwasthissensitiveyoungmanofthirty-five，oftheservileclass，beingeducated？
Practicallyandinevitably，forthetime，tocompanionship，totheperpetual，theevenexaggeratedreferenceandappealofapersonbroughttodependencebyhistimeoflifeandhisinfirmitiesandalwaysaddictedmoreover——thiswastheexaggeration——totheartofgivingyoupleasurebylettingyoudothingsforhim。TherewerecertainthingsMr。Offordwascapableofpretendinghelikedyoutodoevenwhenhedidn’t——this，Imean，ifhethoughtYOUlikedthem。
Ifithappenedthatyoudidn’teither——whichwasrare，yetmightbe——ofcoursetherewerecross-purposes;butBrooksmithwastheretopreventtheirgoingveryfar。Thiswaspreciselythewayheactedasmoderator;heavertedmisunderstandingsorclearedthemup。Hehadbeencapable，strangeasitmayappear，ofacquiringforthispurposeaninsightintotheFrenchtongue，whichwasoftenusedatMr。Offord’s;forbesidesbeinghabitualtomostoftheforeigners，andtheyweremany，whohauntedtheplaceorarrivedwithletters——lettersoftenrequiringalittleworriedconsideration，ofwhichBrooksmithalwayshadcognisance——ithadreallybecometheprimarylanguageofthemasterofthehouse。I
don’tknowifallthemalentenduswereinFrench，butalmostalltheexplanationswere，andthisdidn’tabitpreventBrooksmith’sfollowingthem。IknowMr。OffordusedtoreadpassagestohimfromMontaigneandSaint-Simon，forhereadperpetuallywhenalone——
whenTHEYwerealone，thatis——andBrooksmithwasalwaysabout。
Perhapsyou’llsaynowonderMr。Offord’sbutlerregardedhimas\"rathermad。\"However，ifI’mnotsurewhathethoughtaboutMontaigneI’mconvincedheadmiredSaint-Simon。Acertainfeelingforlettersmusthaverubbedoffonhimfromthemerehandlingofhismaster’sbooks，whichhewasalwayscarryingtoandfroandputtingbackintheirplaces。
Ioftennoticedthatifananecdoteoraquotation，muchmorealivelydiscussion，wasgoingforward，hewould，ifbusywiththefireorthecurtains，thelamporthetea，findapretextforremainingintheroomtillthepointshouldbereached。Ifhispurposewastocatchityouweren’tdiscreet，youwereinfactscarcehuman，tocallhimoff，andIshallneverforgetalook，ahardstonystare——Icaughtitinitspassage——which，onedaywhentherewereagoodmanypeopleintheroom，hefasteneduponthefootmanwhowashelpinghimintheserviceandwho，inanundertone，hadaskedhimsomeirrelevantquestion。ItwastheonlymanifestationofharshnessIeverobservedonBrooksmith’spart，andIatfirstwonderedwhatwasthematter。ThenIbecameconsciousthatMr。Offordwasrelatingaverycuriousanecdote，neverbeforeperhapsmadesopublic，andimpartedtothenarratorbyaneye-witnessofthefact，bearingonLordByron’slifeinItaly。Nothingwouldinducemetoreproduceithere，butBrooksmithhadbeenindangeroflosingit。IfIevershouldventuretoreproduceitIshallfeelhowmuchIloseinnothavingmyfellowauditortoreferto。
ThefirstdayMrOfford’sdoorwasclosedwasthereforeadarkdateincontemporaryhistory。Itwasraininghardandmyumbrellawaswet，butBrooksmithreceiveditfrommeexactlyasifthiswereapreliminaryforgoingupstairs。Iobservedhoweverthatinsteadofputtingitawayhehelditpoisedandtricklingovertherug，andI
thenbecameawarethathewaslookingatmewithdeepacknowledgingeyes——hisairofuniversalresponsibility。Iimmediatelyunderstood——therewasscarceneedofquestionandanswerastheypassedbetweenus。WhenItookinthatourgoodfriendhadgivenupasneverbefore，thoughonlyfortheoccasion，Iexclaimeddolefully：\"Whatadifferenceitwillmake——andtohowmanypeople！\"
\"Ishallbeoneofthem，sir！\"saidBrooksmith;andthatwasthebeginningoftheend。
Mr。Offordcamedownagain，butthespellwasbroken，thegreatsignbeingthattheconversationwasforthefirsttimenotdirected。Itwanderedandstumbled，alittlefrightened，likealostchild——ithadletgothenurse’shand。\"Theworstofitisthatnowweshalltalkaboutmyhealth——c’estlafindetout，\"Mr。
Offordsaidwhenhereappeared;andthenIrecognisedwhatanoteofchangethatwouldbe——forhehadnevertoleratedanythingsoprovincial。We\"ran\"toeachother’shealthaslittleastothedailyweather。Thetalkbecameours，inaword——nothis;andasours，evenwhenHEtalked，itcouldonlybeinferior。InthisformitwasadistresstoBrooksmith，whoseattentionnowwanderedfromitaltogether：hehadsomuchcloseravisionofhismaster’sintimateconditionsthanoursuperficialitiesrepresented。Therewerebetterhours，andhewasmoreinandoutoftheroom，butI
couldseehewasconsciousofthedecline，almostofthecollapse，ofourgreatinstitution。Heseemedtowishtotakecounselwithmeaboutit，tofeelresponsibleforitsgoingoninsomeformorother。Whenforthesecondperiod——thefirsthadlastedseveraldays——hehadtotellmethathisemployerdidn’treceive，Ihalfexpectedtohearhimsayafteramoment\"DoyouthinkIoughtto，sir，inhisplace？\"——ashemighthaveaskedme，withthereturnofautumn，ifIthoughthehadbetterlightthedrawing-roomfire。
Hehadaresignedphilosophicsenseofwhathisguests——ourguests，asIcametoregardtheminourcolloquies——wouldexpect。Hisfeelingwasthathewouldn’tabsolutelyhaveapprovedofhimselfasasubstituteforMr。Offord;buthewassosaturatedwiththereligionofhabitthathewouldhavemade，forourfriends，thenecessarysacrificetothedivinity。Hewouldtakethemonalittlefurtherandtilltheycouldlookaboutthem。IthinkIsawhimalsomentallyconfrontedwiththeopportunitytodeal——foronceinhislife——withsomeofhisowndumbpreferences，hislimitationsofsympathy，WEEDINGalittleinprospectandreturningtoapurertradition。Itwasnotunknowntomethatheconsideredthattowardtheendofourhost’scareeracertainlaxityofselectionhadcreptin。
Atlastitcametobethecasethatweallfoundthecloseddoormoreoftenthantheopenone;butevenwhenitwasclosedBrooksmithmanagedacrackformetosqueezethrough;sothatpracticallyIneverturnedawaywithouthavingpaidavisit。ThedifferencesimplycametobethatthevisitwastoBrooksmith。Ittookplaceinthehall，atthefamiliarfootofthestairs，andwedidn’tsitdown，atleastBrooksmithdidn’t;moreoveritwasdevotedwhollytoonetopicandalwayshadtheairofbeingalreadyover——beginning，sotosay，attheend。Butitwasalwaysinteresting——italwaysgavemesomethingtothinkabout。It’struethatthesubjectofmymeditationwaseverthesame——ever\"It’sallverywell，butwhatWILLbecomeofBrooksmith？\"Evenmyprivateanswertothisquestionleftmestillunsatisfied。NodoubtMr。
Offordwouldprovideforhim，butWHATwouldheprovide？——thatwasthegreatpoint。Hecouldn’tprovidesociety;andsocietyhadbecomeanecessityofBrooksmith’snature。ImustaddthathenevershowedasymptomofwhatImaycallsordidsolicitude——
anxietyonhisownaccount。Hewasratherlividandintenselygrave，asbefittedamanbeforewhoseeyesthe\"shadeofthatwhichoncewasgreat\"waspassingaway。Hehadthesolemnityofapersonwindingup，underdepressingcircumstances，along-establishedandcelebratedbusiness;hewasakindofsocialexecutororliquidator。ButhismannerseemedtotestifyexclusivelytotheuncertaintyofOURfuture。Icouldn’tinthosedayshaveaffordedit——IlivedintworoomsinJermynStreetanddidn’t\"keepaman\";
butevenifmyincomehadpermittedIshouldn’thaveventuredtosaytoBrooksmith（emulatingMr。Offord）\"Mydearfellow，I’lltakeyouon。\"ThewholetoneofourintercoursewassomuchmoreanimplicationthatitwasIwhoshouldnowwantalift。IndeedtherewasatacitassuranceinBrooksmith’swholeattitudethatheshouldhavemeonhismind。
OneofthemostassiduousmembersofourcirclehadbeenLadyKenyon，andIrememberhistellingmeonedaythatherladyshiphadinspiteofherowninfirmities，latelymuchaggravated，beeninpersontoinquire。InanswertothisIremarkedthatshewouldfeelitmorethananyone。Brooksmithhadapausebeforesayinginacertaintone——there’snoreproducingsomeofhistones——\"I’llgoandseeher。\"Iwenttoseehermyselfandlearnedhehadwaitedonher;butwhenIsaidtoher，intheformofajokebutwithacoreofearnest，thatwhenallwasoversomeofusoughttocombine，toclubtogether，andsetBrooksmithuponhisownaccount，sherepliedatrifledisappointingly：\"Doyoumeaninapublic-house？\"IlookedatherinawaythatIthinkBrooksmithhimselfwouldhaveapproved，andthenIanswered：\"Yes，theOffordArms。\"WhatIhadmeantofcoursewasthatfortheloveofartitselfweoughttolooktoitthatsuchapeculiarfacultyandsomuchacquiredexperienceshouldn’tbewasted。Ireallythinkthatifwehadcausedafewblack-edgedcardstobestruckoffandcirculated——\"Mr。Brooksmithwillcontinuetoreceiveontheoldpremisesfromfourtoseven;businesscarriedonasusualduringthealterations\"——thegreaternumberofuswouldhaverallied。
Severaltimeshetookmeupstairs——alwaysbyhisownproposal——andourdearoldfriend，inbed（inacuriousfloweredandbrocadedcasaquewhichmadehim，especiallyashisheadwastiedupinahandkerchieftomatch，look，tomyimagination，likethedyingVoltaire）heldfortenminutesasadlyshrunkenlittlesalon。I
feltindeedeachtimeasifIwereattendingthelastcoucherofsomesocialsovereign。Hewasroyallywhimsicalabouthissufferingsandnotatallconcerned——quiteasiftheConstitutionprovidedforthecaseabouthissuccessor。HeglidedoverOUR
sufferingscharmingly，andnoneofhisjokes——itwasagallantabstention，someofthemwouldhavebeensoeasy——wereatourexpense。Nowandagain，Iconfess，therewasoneatBrooksmith’s，butsopatheticallysociableastomaketheexcellentmanlookatmeinawaythatseemedtosay：\"Doexchangeaglancewithme，orIshan’tbeabletostandit。\"Whathewasn’tabletostandwasnotwhatMr。Offordsaidabouthim，butwhathewasn’tabletosayinreturn。Hisideaofconversationforhimselfwasgivingyoutheconvenienceofspeakingtohim;andwhenhewentto\"see\"LadyKenyonforinstanceitwastocarryherthetributeofhisreceptivesilence。Wherewouldthespeechofhisbettershavebeenifproperservicehadbeenamanifestationofsound？Inthatcasethefundamentaldifferencewouldhavehadtobeshownbytheirdumbness，andmanyofthem，poorthings，weredumbenoughwithoutthatprovision。Brooksmithtookanunfailinginterestinthepreservationofthefundamentaldifference;itwasthethinghehadmostonhisconscience。
WhathadbecomeofithoweverwhenMr。Offordpassedawaylikeanyinferiorperson——wasrelegatedtoeternalstillnessafterthemannerofabutlerabove-stairs？Hisaspectontheevent——fortheseveralsuccessivedays——maybeimagined，andthemultiplicationbyfunerealobservanceofthethingshedidn’tsay。Wheneverythingwasover——itwaslatethesameday——IknockedatthedoorofthehouseofmourningasIsooftenhaddonebefore。IcouldnevercallonMr。Offordagain，butIhadcomeliterallytocallonBrooksmith。IwantedtoaskhimiftherewasanythingIcoulddoforhim，taintedwithvaguenessasthisinquirycouldonlybe。Mypresumptuousdreamoftakinghimintomyownservicehaddiedaway：
myservicewasn’tworthhisbeingtakeninto。Myoffercouldonlybetohelphimtofindanotherplace，andyettherewasanindelicacy，asitwere，intakingforgrantedthathisthoughtswouldimmediatelybefixedonanother。Ihadahopethathewouldbeabletogivehislifeadifferentform——thoughcertainlynottheform，thefrequentresultofsuchbereavements，ofhissettingupalittleshop。Thatwouldhavebeendreadful;forIshouldhavewishedtoforwardanyenterprisehemightembarkin，yethowcouldIhavebroughtmyselftogoandpayhimshillingsandtakebackcoppers，overacounter？Myvisitthenwassimplyanintendedcompliment。Hetookitassuch，gratefullyandwithallthetactintheworld。HeknewIreallycouldn’thelphimandthatIknewheknewIcouldn’t;butwediscussedthesituation——withagooddealofelegantgenerality——atthefootofthestairs，inthehallalreadydismantled，whereIhadsooftendiscussedothersituationswithhim。Theexecutorswereinpossession，aswasstillmoreapparentwhenhemademepassforafewminutesintothedining-
room，wherevariousobjectsweremuffledupforremoval。
Twodefinitefacts，however，hehadtocommunicate;onebeingthathewastoleavethehouseforeverthatnight（servants，forsomemysteriousreason，seemalwaystodepartbynight），andtheother——
hementioneditonlyatthelastandwithhesitation——thathewasalreadyawarehislatemasterhadlefthimalegacyofeightypounds。\"I’mveryglad，\"Isaid，andBrooksmithwasofthesamemind：\"Itwassolikehimtothinkofme。\"Thiswasallthatpassedbetweenusonthesubject，andIknownothingofhisjudgementofMr。Offord’smemento。Eightypoundsarealwayseightypounds，andnoonehaseverleftMEanequalsum;but，allthesame，forBrooksmith，Iwasdisappointed。Idon’tknowwhatIhadexpected，butitwasalmostashock。Eightypoundsmightstockasmallshop——aVERYsmallshop;but，Irepeat，Icouldn’tbeartothinkofthat。Iaskedmyfriendifhehadbeenabletosavealittle，andhereplied：\"No，sir;I’vehadtodothings。\"I
didn’tinquirewhatthingstheymighthavebeen;theywerehisownaffair，andItookhiswordforthemasassentinglyasifhehadhadthegreatnessofanancienthousetokeepup;especiallyastherewassomethinginhismannerthatseemedtoconveyaprospectoffurthersacrifice。
\"Ishallhavetoturnroundabit，sir——Ishallhavetolookaboutme，\"hesaid;andthenheaddedindulgently，magnanimously：\"Ifyoushouldhappentohearofanythingforme——\"
Icouldn’tlethimfinish;thiswas，initsessence，toomuchinthereallygrandmanner。ItwouldbeahelptomygettinghimoffmymindtobeabletopretendICOULDfindtherightplace，andthathelphewishedtogiveme，foritwasdoubtlesspainfultohimtoseemeinsofalseaposition。IinterposedwithafewwordstotheeffectofhowwellawareIwasthatwhereverheshouldgo，whateverheshoulddo，hewouldmissouroldfriendterribly——misshimevenmorethanIshould，havingbeenwithhimsomuchmore。
Thisledhimtomakethespeechthathasremainedwithmeastheverytextofthewholeepisode。
\"Ohsir，it’ssadforYOU，verysadindeed，andforagreatmanygentlemenandladies;thatitis，sir。Butforme，sir，itis，ifImaysayso，stillgravereventhanthat：it’sjustthelossofsomethingthatwaseverything。Forme，sir，\"hewentonwithrisingtears，\"hewasjustALL，ifyouknowwhatImean，sir。Youhaveothers，sir，Idaresay——notthatIwouldhaveyouunderstandmetospeakofthemasinanywaytantamount。Butyouhavethepleasuresofsociety，sir;ifit’sonlyintalkingabouthim，sir，asIdaresayyoudofreely——forallhisblestmemoryhastofearfromit——withgentlemenandladieswhohavehadthesamehonour。
That’snotforme，sir，andI’vetokeepmyassociationstomyself。
Mr。OffordwasMYsociety，andnow，yousee，Ijusthaven’tany。
Yougobacktoconversation，sir，afterall，andIgobacktomyplace，\"Brooksmithstammered，withoutexaggeratedironyordramaticbitterness，butwithaflatunstudiedveracityandhishandontheknobofthestreet-door。Heturnedittoletmeoutandthenheadded：\"Ijustgodownstairs，sir，again，andIstaythere。\"
\"Mypoorchild，\"Irepliedinmyemotion，quiteasMr。Offordusedtospeak，\"mydearfellow，leaveittome：WE’LLlookafteryou，we’llalldosomethingforyou。\"
\"AhifyoucouldgivemesomeoneLIKEhim！Butthereain’ttwosuchintheworld，\"Brooksmithsaidasweparted。
Hehadgivenmehisaddress——theplacewherehewouldbetobeheardof。ForalongtimeIhadnooccasiontomakeuseoftheinformation：heprovedontrialsoverydifficultacase。ThepeoplewhoknewhimandhadknownMr。Offorddidn’twanttotakehim，andyetIcouldn’tbeartotrytothrusthimamongstrangers——
strangerstohispastwhennottohispresent。IspoketomanyofouroldfriendsabouthimandfoundthemallgovernedbytheoddmixtureoffeelingsofwhichImyselfwasconscious——aswellasdisposed，further，toentertainasuspicionthathewas\"spoiled，\"
withwhich，Ithenwouldhavenothingtodo。Inplaintermsacertainembarrassment，asensibleawkwardnesswhentheythoughtofit，attachedtotheideaofusinghimasamenial：theyhadmethimsoofteninsociety。Manyofthemwouldhaveaskedhim，anddidaskhim，orratherdidaskmetoaskhim，tocomeandseethem，butamerevisiting-listwasnotwhatIwantedforhim。Hewastooshortforpeoplewhowereveryparticular;neverthelessIheardofanopeninginadiplomatichouseholdwhichledmetowritehimanote，thoughIwaslookingmuchlessforsomethinggrandthanforsomethinghuman。FivedayslaterIheardfromhim。Thesecretary’swifehaddecided，afterkeepinghimwaitingtillthen，thatshecouldn’ttakeaservantoutofahouseinwhichtherehadn’tbeenalady。ThenotehadaP。S。：\"It’sagoodjobtherewasn’t，sir，suchaladyassome。\"
Aweeklaterhecametoseemeandtoldmehewas\"suited，\"
committedtosomehighlyrespectablepeople——theyweresomethingquiteimmenseintheCity——wholivedontheBayswatersideofthePark。\"Idaresayitwillberatherpoor，sir，\"headmitted;\"butI’veseenthefireworks，haven’tI，sir？——itcan’tbefireworksEVERYnight。AfterMansfieldStreetthereain’tmuchchoice。\"
Therewasacertainamount，however，itseemed;forthefollowingyear，callingonedayonacountrycousin，aladyofacertainagewhowasspendingafortnightintownwithsomefriendsofherown，afamilyunknowntomeandresidentinChesterSquare，thedoorofthehousewasopened，tomysurpriseandgratification，byBrooksmithinperson。WhenIcameoutIhadsomeconversationwithhimfromwhichIgatheredthathehadfoundthelargeCitypeopletoodullforendurance，andIguessed，thoughhedidn’tsayit，thathehadfoundthemvulgaraswell。Idon’tknowwhatjudgementhewouldhavepassedonhisactualpatronsifmyrelativehadn’tbeentheirfriend;butinviewofthatconnexionheabstainedfromcomment。
Nonewasnecessary，however，forbeforetheladyinquestionbroughthervisittoaclosetheyhonouredmewithaninvitationtodinner，whichIaccepted。Therewasalargeishpartyontheoccasion，butIconfessIthoughtofBrooksmithrathermorethanoftheseatedcompany。Theyrequirednodepthofattention——theywereallreferabletousualirredeemableinevitabletypes。Itwastheworldofcheerfulcommonplaceandconsciousgentilityandprosperousdensity，afull-fedmaterialinsularworld，aworldofhideousfloridplateandponderousorderandthinconversation。
Therewasn’tawordsaidaboutByron，orevenaboutaminorbardthenmuchinview。NothingwouldhaveinducedmetolookatBrooksmithinthecourseoftherepast，andIfeltsurethatnotevenmyoverturningthewinewouldhaveinducedhimtomeetmyeye。
Wewereinintellectualsympathy——wefelt，asregardseachother，adegreeofsocialresponsibility。InshortwehadbeeninArcadiatogether，andwehadbothcometoTHIS！Nowonderwewereashamedtobeconfronted。Whenhehadhelpedonmyovercoat，asIwasgoingaway，weparted，forthefirsttimesincetheearliestdaysofMansfieldStreet，insilence。Ithoughthelookedleanandwasted，andIguessedthathisnewplacewasn’tmore\"human\"thanhispreviousone。Therewasplentyofbeefandbeer，buttherewasnoreciprocity。Thequestionforhimtohaveaskedbeforeacceptingthepositionwouldn’thavebeen\"Howmanyfootmenarekept？\"but\"Howmuchimagination？\"
ThenexttimeIwenttothehouse——Iconfessitwasn’tverysoon——I
encounteredhissuccessor，apersonagewhoevidentlyenjoyedthegoodfortuneofneverhavingquittedhisnaturallevel。Couldanybehigher？heseemedtoask——overtheheadsofthreefootmenandevenofsomevisitors。HemademefeelasifBrooksmithweredead;
butIdidn’tdaretoinquire——Icouldn’thavebornehis\"Ihaven’ttheleastidea，sir。\"IdespatchedanotetotheaddressthatworthyhadgivenmeafterMr。Offord’sdeath，butIreceivednoanswer。SixmonthslaterhoweverIwasfavouredwithavisitfromanelderlydrearydingypersonwhointroducedherselftomeasMr。
Brooksmith’sauntandfromwhomIlearnedthathewasoutofplaceandoutofhealthandhadallowedhertocomeandsaytomethatifIcouldsparehalfanhourtolookinathimhewouldtakeitasararehonour。
Iwentthenextday——hismessengerhadgivenmeanewaddress——andfoundmyfriendlodgedinashortsordidstreetinMarylebone，oneofthosecornersofLondonthatwearthelastexpressionofsicklymeanness。TheroomintowhichIwasshownwasabovethesmallestablishmentofadyerandcleanerwhohadinflatedkidglovesanddiscolouredshawlsinhisshop-front。Therewasagreatdealofgrimyinfantlifeupanddowntheplace，andtherewasahotmoistsmellwithin，asofthe\"boiling\"ofdirtylinen。Brooksmithsatwithablanketoverhislegsatacleanlittlewindowwhere，frombehindstiffbluish-whitecurtains，hecouldlookacrossatahuckster’sandatinsmith’sandasmallgreasypublic-house。Hehadpassedthroughanillnessandwasconvalescent，andhismother，aswellashisaunt，wasinattendanceonhim。Ilikedthenearerrelative，whowasblandandintenselyhumble，butIhadmydoubtsoftheremoter，whomIconnectedperhapsunjustlywiththeoppositepublic-house——sheseemedsomehowgreasywiththesamegrease——andwhosefurtiveeyefollowedeverymovementofmyhandastoseeifitweren’tgoingintomypocket。Itdidn’ttakethisdirection——I
couldn’t，unsolicited，putmyselfatthatsortofeasewithBrooksmith。Severaltimesthedooroftheroomopenedandmysteriousoldwomenpeepedinandshuffledbackagain。Idon’tknowwhotheywere;poorBrooksmithseemedencompassedwithvaguepryingbeeryfemales。
Hewasvaguehimself，andevidentlyweak，andmuchembarrassed，andnotanallusionwasmadebetweenustoMansfieldStreet。Thevisionofthesalonofwhichhehadbeenanornamenthoveredbeforemehowever，bycontrast，sufficiently。Heassuredmehewasreallygettingbetter，andhismotherremarkedthathewouldcomeroundifhecouldonlygethisspiritsup。Theauntechoedthisopinion，andIbecamemoresurethatinherowncasesheknewwheretogoforsuchapurpose。I’mafraidIwasratherweakwithmyoldfriend，forIneglectedtheopportunity，soexceptionallygood，torebukethelevitywhichhadledhimtothrowuphonourablepositions——finestiffsteadyberthsinBayswaterandBelgravia，withmorningprayers，asIknew，attachedtooneofthem。Verylikelyhisreasonshadbeenprofaneandsentimental;hedidn’twantmorningprayers，hewantedtobesomebody’sdearfellow;butI
couldn’tbethepersontorebukehim。Heshuffledtheseepisodesoutofsight——Isawhehadnowishtodiscussthem。Inotedfurther，strangelyenough，thatitwouldprobablybeaquestionablepleasureforhimtoseemeagain：hedoubtednowevenofmypowertocondonehisaberrations。Hedidn’twishtohavetoexplain;andhisbehaviourwaslikelyinfuturetoneedexplanation。WhenI
badehimfarewellhelookedatmeamomentwitheyesthatsaideverything：\"HowcanItalkaboutthoseexquisiteyearsinthisplace，beforethesepeople，withtheoldwomenpokingtheirheadsin？Itwasverygoodofyoutocometoseeme;itwasn’tmyidea——
SHEbroughtyou。We’vesaideverything;it’sover;you’llloseallpatiencewithme，andI’dratheryoushouldn’tseetherest。\"I
senthimsomemoneyinaletterthenextday，butIsawtherestonlyinthelightofabarrensequel。
AwholeyearaftermyvisittohimIbecameawareonce，indiningout，thatBrooksmithwasoneoftheseveralservantswhohoveredbehindourchairs。Hehadn’topenedthedoorofthehousetome，norhadIrecognisedhiminthearrayofretainersinthehall。
ThistimeItriedtocatchhiseye，buthenevergavemeachance，andwhenhehandedmeadishIcouldonlybecarefultothankhimaudibly。IndeedIpartookoftwoentreesofwhichIhadmydoubts，subsequentlyconvertedintocertainties，inordernottosnubhim。
Helookedwellenoughinhealth，butmucholder，andworeinanexceptionallymarkeddegreetheglazedandexpressionlessmaskoftheBritishdomesticderace。IsawwithdismaythatifIhadn’tknownhimIshouldhavetakenhim，ontheshowingofhiscountenance，foranextravagantillustrationofirresponsiveservilegloom。Isaidtomyselfthathehadbecomeareactionary，goneovertothePhilistines，thrownhimselfintoreligion，thereligionofhis\"place，\"likeaforeignladysurleretour。I
divinedmoreoverthathewasonlyengagedfortheevening——hehadbecomeamerewaiter，hadjoinedthebandofthewhite-waistcoatedwho\"goout。\"Therewassomethingpatheticinthisfact——itwasaterriblevulgarisationofBrooksmith。Itwasthemercenaryproseofbutlerhood;hehadgivenupthestruggleforthepoetry。Ifreciprocitywaswhathehadmissedwherewasthereciprocitynow？
Onlyinthebottomsofthewine-glassesandthefiveshillings——orwhatevertheyget——clappedintohishandbythepermanentman。
However，Isupposedhehadtakenupaprecariousbranchofhisprofessionbecauseitafterallsenthimlessdownstairs。HisrelationswithLondonsocietyweremoresuperficial，buttheywereofcoursemorevarious。AsIwentawayonthisoccasionIlookedoutforhimeagerlyamongthefourorfiveattendantswhoseperpendicularpersons，flutingthewallsofLondonpassages，aresupposedtolubricatetheprocessofdeparture;buthewasnotonduty。Iaskedoneoftheothersifhewerenotinthehouse，andreceivedthepromptanswer：\"Justleft，sir。AnythingIcandoforyou，sir？\"Iwantedtosay\"Pleasegivehimmykindregards\";
butIabstained——Ididn’twanttocompromisehim;andInevercameacrosshimagain。
Oftenandoften，indiningout，Ilookedforhim，sometimesacceptinginvitationsonpurposetomultiplythechancesofmymeetinghim。Butalwaysinvain;sothatasImetmanyothermembersofthecasualclassoverandoveragainIatlastadoptedthetheorythathealwaysprocuredalistofexpectedguestsbeforehandandkeptawayfromthebanquetswhichhethuslearnedI
wastograce。AtlastIgaveuphope，andonedayattheendofthreeyearsIreceivedanothervisitfromhisaunt。Shewasdrearieranddingier，almostsqualid，andshewasingreattribulationandwant。Hersister，Mrs。Brooksmith，hadbeendeadayear，andthreemonthslaterhernephewhaddisappeared。Hehadalwayslookedafterherabitsincehertroubles;Ineverknewwhathertroubleshadbeen——andnowshehadn’tsomuchasapetticoattopawn。Shehadalsoaniece，towhomshehadbeeneverythingbeforehertroubles，buttheniecehadtreatedhermostshameful。Theseweredetails;thegreatandromanticfactwasBrooksmith’sfinalevasionofhisfate。Hehadgoneouttowaitoneeveningasusual，inawhitewaistcoatshehaddoneupforhimwithherownhands——
beingdueatalargepartyupKensingtonway。Buthehadnevercomehomeagainandhadneverarrivedatthelargeparty，noratanypartythatanyonecouldmakeout。Notraceofhimhadcometolight——nogleamofthewhitewaistcoathadpiercedtheobscurityofhisdoom。Thisnewswasasharpshocktome，forIhadmyideasabouthisrealdestination。Hisagedrelativehadpromptly，asshesaid，guessedtheworst。Somehow，andsomewherehehadgotoutofthewayaltogether，andnowItrustthat，withcharacteristicdeliberation，heischangingtheplatesoftheimmortalgods。Asmydepressingvisitantalsosaid，heneverHADgothisspiritsup。
Iwasfortunatelyabletodismissherwithherownsomewhatimproved。ButthedimghostofpoorBrooksmithisoneofthosethatIsee。Hehadindeedbeenspoiled。
THEREALTHING
CHAPTERI
Whentheporter’swife，whousedtoanswerthehouse-bell，announced\"Agentlemanandalady，sir，\"Ihad，asIoftenhadinthosedays——thewishbeingfathertothethought——animmediatevisionofsitters。Sittersmyvisitorsinthiscaseprovedtobe;
butnotinthesenseIshouldhavepreferred。Therewasnothingatfirsthowevertoindicatethattheymightn’thavecomeforaportrait。Thegentleman，amanoffifty，veryhighandverystraight，withamoustacheslightlygrizzledandadarkgreywalking-coatadmirablyfitted，bothofwhichInotedprofessionally——Idon’tmeanasabarberoryetasatailor——wouldhavestruckmeasacelebrityifcelebritiesoftenwerestriking。
ItwasatruthofwhichIhadforsometimebeenconsciousthatafigurewithagooddealoffrontagewas，asonemightsay，almostneverapublicinstitution。Aglanceattheladyhelpedtoremindmeofthisparadoxicallaw：shealsolookedtoodistinguishedtobea\"personality。\"Moreoveronewouldscarcelycomeacrosstwovariationstogether。
Neitherofthepairimmediatelyspoke——theyonlyprolongedthepreliminarygazesuggestingthateachwishedtogivetheotherachance。Theywerevisiblyshy;theystoodtherelettingmetakethemin——which，asIafterwardsperceived，wasthemostpracticalthingtheycouldhavedone。Inthiswaytheirembarrassmentservedtheircause。Ihadseenpeoplepainfullyreluctanttomentionthattheydesiredanythingsogrossastoberepresentedoncanvas;butthescruplesofmynewfriendsappearedalmostinsurmountable。Yetthegentlemanmighthavesaid\"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmywife，\"andtheladymighthavesaid\"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmyhusband。\"Perhapstheyweren’thusbandandwife——thisnaturallywouldmakethemattermoredelicate。Perhapstheywishedtobedonetogether——inwhichcasetheyoughttohavebroughtathirdpersontobreakthenews。
\"WecomefromMr。Rivet，\"theladyfinallysaidwithadimsmilethathadtheeffectofamoistspongepassedovera\"sunk\"pieceofpainting，aswellasofavagueallusiontovanishedbeauty。Shewasastallandstraight，inherdegree，ashercompanion，andwithtenyearslesstocarry。Shelookedassadasawomancouldlookwhosefacewasnotchargedwithexpression;thatishertintedovalmaskshowedwasteasanexposedsurfaceshowsfriction。Thehandoftimehadplayedoverherfreely，buttoaneffectofelimination。Shewasslimandstiff，andsowell-dressed，indarkbluecloth，withlappetsandpocketsandbuttons，thatitwasclearsheemployedthesametailorasherhusband。Thecouplehadanindefinableairofprosperousthrift——theyevidentlygotagooddealofluxuryfortheirmoney。IfIwastobeoneoftheirluxuriesitwouldbehovemetoconsidermyterms。
\"AhClaudeRivetrecommendedme？\"IechoedandIaddedthatitwasverykindofhim，thoughIcouldreflectthat，asheonlypaintedlandscape，thiswasn’tasacrifice。
Theladylookedveryhardatthegentleman，andthegentlemanlookedroundtheroom。Thenstaringattheflooramomentandstrokinghismoustache，herestedhispleasanteyesonmewiththeremark：\"Hesaidyouweretherightone。\"
\"Itrytobe，whenpeoplewanttosit。\"
\"Yes，weshouldliketo，\"saidtheladyanxiously。
\"Doyoumeantogether？\"
Myvisitorsexchangedaglance。\"IfyoucoulddoanythingwithME
Isupposeitwouldbedouble，\"thegentlemanstammered。
\"Ohyes，there’snaturallyahigherchargefortwofiguresthanforone。\"
\"Weshouldliketomakeitpay，\"thehusbandconfessed。
\"That’sverygoodofyou，\"Ireturned，appreciatingsounwontedasympathy——forIsupposedhemeantpaytheartist。
Asenseofstrangenessseemedtodawnonthelady。\"Wemeanfortheillustrations——Mr。Rivetsaidyoumightputonein。\"
\"Putin——anillustration？\"Iwasequallyconfused。
\"Sketchheroff，youknow，\"saidthegentleman，colouring。
ItwasonlythenthatIunderstoodtheserviceClaudeRivethadrenderedme;hehadtoldthemhowIworkedinblack-and-white，formagazines，forstory-books，forsketchesofcontemporarylife，andconsequentlyhadcopiousemploymentformodels。Thesethingsweretrue，butitwasnotlesstrue——Imayconfessitnow;whetherbecausetheaspirationwastoleadtoeverythingortonothingI
leavethereadertoguess——thatIcouldn’tgetthehonours，tosaynothingoftheemoluments，ofagreatpainterofportraitsoutofmyhead。My\"illustrations\"weremypot-boilers;Ilookedtoadifferentbranchofart——farandawaythemostinterestingithadalwaysseemedtome——toperpetuatemyfame。Therewasnoshameinlookingtoitalsotomakemyfortunebutthatfortunewasbysomuchfurtherfrombeingmadefromthemomentmyvisitorswishedtobe\"done\"fornothing。Iwasdisappointed;forinthepictorialsenseIhadimmediatelySEENthem。Ihadseizedtheirtype——IhadalreadysettledwhatIwoulddowithit。Somethingthatwouldn’tabsolutelyhavepleasedthem，Iafterwardsreflected。
\"Ahyou’re——you’re——a-？\"IbeganassoonasIhadmasteredmysurprise。Icouldn’tbringoutthedingyword\"models\"：itseemedsolittletofitthecase。
\"Wehaven’thadmuchpractice，\"saidthelady。
\"We’vegottodosomething，andwe’vethoughtthatanartistinyourlinemightperhapsmakesomethingofus，\"herhusbandthrewoff。Hefurthermentionedthattheydidn’tknowmanyartistsandthattheyhadgonefirst，ontheoff-chance——hepaintedviewsofcourse，butsometimesputinfigures;perhapsIremembered——toMr。
Rivet，whomtheyhadmetafewyearsbeforeataplaceinNorfolkwherehewassketching。
\"Weusedtosketchalittleourselves，\"theladyhinted。
\"It’sveryawkward，butweabsolutelymustdosomething，\"herhusbandwenton。
\"Ofcoursewe’renotsoVERYyoung，\"sheadmittedwithawansmile。
WiththeremarkthatImightaswellknowsomethingmoreaboutthemthehusbandhadhandedmeacardextractedfromaneatnewpocket-
book——theirappurtenanceswereallofthefreshest——andinscribedwiththewords\"MajorMonarch。\"Impressiveasthesewordsweretheydidn’tcarrymyknowledgemuchfurther;butmyvisitorpresentlyadded：\"I’veleftthearmyandwe’vehadthemisfortunetoloseourmoney。Infactourmeansaredreadfullysmall。\"
\"It’sawfullytrying——aregularstrain，\"，saidMrs。Monarch。
Theyevidentlywishedtobediscreet——totakecarenottoswaggerbecausetheyweregentlefolk。Ifeltthemwillingtorecognisethisassomethingofadrawback，atthesametimethatIguessedatanunderlyingsense——theirconsolationinadversity——thattheyHAD
theirpoints。Theycertainlyhad;buttheseadvantagesstruckmeaspreponderantlysocial;suchforinstanceaswouldhelptomakeadrawing-roomlookwell。However，adrawing-roomwasalways，oroughttobe，apicture。
Inconsequenceofhiswife’sallusiontotheirageMajorMonarchobserved：\"Naturallyit’smoreforthefigurethatwethoughtofgoingin。Wecanstillholdourselvesup。\"OntheinstantIsawthatthefigurewasindeedtheirstrongpoint。His\"naturally\"
didn’tsoundvain，butitlightedupthequestion。\"SHEhasthebestone，\"hecontinued，noddingathiswifewithapleasantafter-
dinnerabsenceofcircumlocution。Icouldonlyreply，asifwewereinfactsittingoverourwine，thatthisdidn’tpreventhisownfrombeingverygood;whichledhiminturntomakeanswer：
\"Wethoughtthatifyoueverhavetodopeoplelikeuswemightbesomethinglikeit。SHEparticularly——foraladyinabook，youknow。\"
Iwassoamusedbythemthat，togetmoreofit，Ididmybesttotaketheirpointofview;andthoughitwasanembarrassmenttofindmyselfappraisingphysically，asiftheywereanimalsonhireorusefulblacks，apairwhomIshouldhaveexpectedtomeetonlyinoneoftherelationsinwhichcriticismistacit，IlookedatMrs。Monarchjudiciallyenoughtobeabletoexclaimafteramomentwithconviction：\"Ohyes，aladyinabook！\"Shewassingularlylikeabadillustration。
\"We’llstandup，ifyoulike，\"saidtheMajor;andheraisedhimselfbeforemewithareallygrandair。
Icouldtakehismeasureataglance——hewassixfeettwoandaperfectgentleman。Itwouldhavepaidanyclubinprocessofformationandinwantofastamptoengagehimatasalarytostandintheprincipalwindow。Whatstruckmeatoncewasthatincomingtometheyhadrathermissedtheirvocation;theycouldsurelyhavebeenturnedtobetteraccountforadvertisingpurposes。Icouldn’tofcourseseethethingindetail，butIcouldseethemmakesomebody’sfortune——Idon’tmeantheirown。Therewassomethinginthemforawaistcoat-maker，anhotel-keeperorasoap-vendor。I
couldimagine\"Wealwaysuseit\"pinnedontheirbosomswiththegreatesteffect;Ihadavisionofthebrilliancywithwhichtheywouldlaunchatabled’hote。
Mrs。Monarchsatstill，notfrompridebutfromshyness，andpresentlyherhusbandsaidtoher：\"Getup，mydear，andshowhowsmartyouare。\"Sheobeyed，butshehadnoneedtogetuptoshowit。Shewalkedtotheendofthestudioandthencamebackblushing，herflutteredeyesonthepartnerofherappeal。IwasremindedofanincidentIhadaccidentallyhadaglimpseofinParis——beingwithafriendthere，adramatistabouttoproduceaplay，whenanactresscametohimtoasktobeentrustedwithapart。Shewentthroughherpacesbeforehim，walkedupanddownasMrs。Monarchwasdoing。Mrs。Monarchdiditquiteaswell，butI
abstainedfromapplauding。Itwasveryoddtoseesuchpeopleapplyforsuchpoorpay。Shelookedasifshehadtenthousandayear。Herhusbandhadusedthewordthatdescribedher：shewasintheLondoncurrentjargonessentiallyandtypically\"smart。\"
Herfigurewas，inthesameorderofideas，conspicuouslyandirreproachably\"good。\"Forawomanofherageherwaistwassurprisinglysmall;herelbowmoreoverhadtheorthodoxcrook。Sheheldherheadattheconventionalangle，butwhydidshecometoME？Sheoughttohavetriedonjacketsatabigshop。Ifearedmyvisitorswerenotonlydestitutebut\"artistic\"——whichwouldbeagreatcomplication。WhenshesatdownagainIthankedher，observingthatwhatadraughtsmanmostvaluedinhismodelwasthefacultyofkeepingquiet。
\"OhSHEcankeepquiet，\"saidMajorMonarch。Thenheaddedjocosely：\"I’vealwayskeptherquiet。\"
\"I’mnotanastyfidget，amI？\"Itwasgoingtowringtearsfromme，Ifelt，thewayshehidherhead，ostrich-like，intheotherbroadbosom。
Theownerofthisexpanseaddressedhisanswertome。\"Perhapsitisn’toutofplacetomention——becauseweoughttobequitebusiness-like，oughtn’twe？——thatwhenImarriedhershewasknownastheBeautifulStatue。\"
\"Ohdear！\"saidMrs。Monarchruefully。
\"OfcourseIshouldwantacertainamountofexpression，\"I
rejoined。
\"OfCOURSE！\"——andIhadneverheardsuchunanimity。
\"AndthenIsupposeyouknowthatyou’llgetawfullytired。\"
\"OhweNEVERgettired！\"theyeagerlycried。
\"Haveyouhadanykindofpractice？\"
Theyhesitated——theylookedateachother。We’vebeenphotographed——IMMENSELY，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
\"Shemeansthefellowshaveaskedusthemselves，\"addedtheMajor。
\"Isee——becauseyou’resogood-looking。\"
\"Idon’tknowwhattheythought，buttheywerealwaysafterus。\"
\"Wealwaysgotourphotographsfornothing，\"
smiledMrs。Monarch。
\"Wemighthavebroughtsome，mydear，\"herhusbandremarked。
\"I’mnotsurewehaveanyleft。We’vegivenquantitiesaway，\"sheexplainedtome。
\"Withourautographsandthatsortofthing，\"saidtheMajor。
\"Aretheytobegotintheshops？\"Iinquiredasaharmlesspleasantry。
\"Ohyes，HERS——theyusedtobe。\"
\"Notnow，\"saidMrs。Monarchwithhereyesonthefloor。
CHAPTERII
Icouldfancythe\"sortofthing\"theyputonthepresentationcopiesoftheirphotographs，andIwassuretheywroteabeautifulhand。ItwasoddhowquicklyIwassureofeverythingthatconcernedthem。Iftheywerenowsopoorastohavetocamshillingsandpencetheycouldneverhavehadmuchofamargin。
Theirgoodlookshadbeentheircapital，andtheyhadgood-
humouredlymadethemostofthecareerthatthisresourcemarkedoutforthem。Itwasintheirfaces，theblankness，thedeepintellectualreposeofthetwentyyearsofcountry-housevisitingthathadgiventhempleasantintonations。Icouldseethesunnydrawing-rooms，sprinkledwithperiodicalsshedidn’tread，inwhichMrs。Monarchhadcontinuouslysat;Icouldseethewetshrubberiesinwhichshehadwalked，equippedtoadmirationforeitherexercise。IcouldseetherichcoverstheMajorhadhelpedtoshootandthewonderfulgarmentsinwhich，lateatnight，herepairedtothesmoking-roomtotalkaboutthem。Icouldimaginetheirleggingsandwaterproofs，theirknowingtweedsandrugs，theirrollsofsticksandcasesoftackleandneatumbrellas;andI
couldevoketheexactappearanceoftheirservantsandthecompactvarietyoftheirluggageontheplatformsofcountrystations。
Theygavesmalltips，buttheywereliked;theydidn’tdoanythingthemselves，buttheywerewelcome。Theylookedsowelleverywhere;
theygratifiedthegeneralrelishforstature，complexionand\"form。\"Theyknewitwithoutfatuityorvulgarity，andtheyrespectedthemselvesinconsequence。Theyweren’tsuperficial：
theywerethoroughandkeptthemselvesup——ithadbeentheirline。
Peoplewithsuchatasteforactivityhadtohavesomeline。I
couldfeelhoweveninadullhousetheycouldhavebeencountedonforthejoyoflife。Atpresentsomethinghadhappened——itdidn’tmatterwhat，theirlittleincomehadgrownless，ithadgrownleast——andtheyhadtodosomethingforpocket-money。Theirfriendscouldlikethem，Imadeout，withoutlikingtosupportthem。Therewassomethingaboutthemthatrepresentedcredit——
theirclothes，theirmanners，theirtype;butifcreditisalargeemptypocketinwhichanoccasionalchinkreverberates，thechinkatleastmustbeaudible。Whattheywantedofmewashelptomakeitso。Fortunatelytheyhadnochildren——Isoondivinedthat。
Theywouldalsoperhapswishourrelationstobekeptsecret：thiswaswhyitwas\"forthefigure\"——thereproductionofthefacewouldbetraythem。
Ilikedthem——Ifelt，quiteastheirfriendsmusthavedone——theyweresosimple;andIhadnoobjectiontothemiftheywouldsuit。
ButsomehowwithalltheirperfectionsIdidn’teasilybelieveinthem。Afteralltheywereamateurs，andtherulingpassionofmylifewas——thedetestationoftheamateur。Combinedwiththiswasanotherperversity——aninnatepreferencefortherepresentedsubjectovertherealone：thedefectoftherealonewassoapttobealackofrepresentation。Ilikedthingsthatappeared;thenonewassure。WhethertheyWEREornotwasasubordinateandalmostalwaysaprofitlessquestion。Therewereotherconsiderations，thefirstofwhichwasthatIalreadyhadtwoorthreerecruitsinuse，notablyayoungpersonwithbigfeet，inalpaca，fromKilburn，whoforacoupleofyearshadcometomeregularlyformyillustrationsandwithwhomIwasstill——perhapsignobly——satisfied。Ifranklyexplainedtomyvisitorshowthecasestood，buttheyhadtakenmoreprecautionsthanIsupposed。
Theyhadreasonedouttheiropportunity，forClaudeRivethadtoldthemoftheprojectededitiondeluxeofoneofthewritersofourday——therarestofthenovelists——who，longneglectedbythemultitudinousvulgar，anddearlyprizedbytheattentive（needI
mentionPhilipVincent？）hadhadthehappyfortuneofseeing，lateinlife，thedawnandthenthefulllightofahighercriticism;anestimateinwhichonthepartofthepublictherewassomethingreallyofexpiation。Theeditionpreparing，plannedbyapublisheroftaste，waspracticallyanactofhighreparation;thewoodcutswithwhichitwastobeenrichedwerethehomageofEnglisharttooneofthemostindependentrepresentativesofEnglishletters。
MajorandMrs。MonarchconfessedtometheyhadhopedImightbeabletoworkTHEMintomybranchoftheenterprise。TheyknewI
wastodothefirstofthebooks，RutlandRamsay，butIhadtomakecleartothemthatmyparticipationintherestoftheaffair——thisfirstbookwastobeatest——mustdependonthesatisfactionI
shouldgive。Ifthisshouldbelimitedmyemployerswoulddropmewithscarcecommonforms。Itwasthereforeacrisisforme，andnaturallyIwasmakingspecialpreparations，lookingaboutfornewpeople，shouldtheybenecessary，andsecuringthebesttypes。I
admittedhoweverthatIshouldliketosettledowntotwoorthreegoodmodelswhowoulddoforeverything。
\"Shouldwehaveoftento——a——putonspecialclothes？\"Mrs。Monarchtimidlydemanded。
\"Dearyes——that’shalfthebusiness。\"
\"Andshouldwebeexpectedtosupplyourowncostumes？
\"Ohno;I’vegotalotofthings。Apainter’smodelsputon——orputoff——anythinghelikes。\"
\"Andyoumean——a——thesame？\"
\"Thesame？\"
Mrs。Monarchlookedatherhusbandagain。
\"Ohshewasjustwondering，\"heexplained，\"ifthecostumesareinGENERALuse。\"Ihadtoconfessthattheywere，andImentionedfurtherthatsomeofthem——Ihadalotof，genuinegreasylast-
centurythings——hadservedtheirtime，ahundredyearsago，onlivingworld-stainedmenandwomen;onfiguresnotperhapssofarremoved，inthatvanishedworld，fromTHEIRtype，theMonarchs’，quoi！ofabreechedandbewiggedage。\"We’llput，onanythingthatFITS，\"saidtheMajor。
\"OhIarrangethat——theyfitinthepictures。\"
\"I’mafraidIshoulddobetterforthemodernbooks。I’dcomeasyoulike，\"saidMrs。Monarch。
\"Shehasgotalotofclothesathome：theymightdoforcontemporarylife，\"herhusbandcontinued。
\"OhIcanfancyscenesinwhichyou’dbequitenatural。\"AndindeedIcouldseetheslipshodre-arrangementsofstaleproperties——thestoriesItriedtoproducepicturesforwithouttheexasperationofreadingthem——whosesandytractsthegoodladymighthelptopeople。ButIhadtoreturntothefactthat——forthissortofwork——thedailymechanicalgrind——Iwasalreadyequipped：thepeopleIwasworkingwithworefullyadequate。
\"WeonlythoughtwemightbemorelikeSOMEcharacters，\"saidMrs。
Monarchmildly，gettingup。
Herhusbandalsorose;hestoodlookingatmewithadimwistfulnessthatwastouchinginsofineaman。\"Wouldn’titberatherapullsometimestohave——a——tohaven？\"Hehungfire;hewantedmetohelphimbyphrasingwhathemeant。ButIcouldn’t——I
didn’tknow。Sohebroughtitoutawkwardly：\"TheREALthing;agentleman，youknow，oralady。\"Iwasquitereadytogiveageneralassent——Iadmittedthattherewasagreatdealinthat。
ThisencouragedMajorMonarchtosay，followinguphisappealwithanunactedgulp：\"It’sawfullyhard——we’vetriedeverything。\"Thegulpwascommunicative;itprovedtoomuchforhiswife。BeforeI
knewitMrs。Monarchhaddroppedagainuponadivanandburstintotears。Herhusbandsatdownbesideher，holdingoneofherhands;
whereuponshequicklydriedhereyeswiththeother，whileIfeltembarrassedasshelookedupatme。\"Thereisn’taconfoundedjobIhaven’tappliedfor——waitedfor——prayedfor。Youcanfancywe’dbeprettybadfirst。Secretaryshipsandthatsortofthing？Youmightaswellaskforapeerage。I’dbeANYTHING——I’mstrong;amessengeroracoalheaver。I’dputonagold-lacedcapandopencarriage-doorsinfrontofthehaberdasher’s;I’dhangaboutastationtocarryportmanteaux;I’dbeapostman。Buttheywon’tLOOKatyou;therearethousandsasgoodasyourselfalreadyontheground。GENTLEMEN，poorbeggars，who’vedrunktheirwine，who’vekepttheirhunters！\"
IwasasreassuringasIknewhowtobe，andmyvisitorswerepresentlyontheirfeetagainwhile，fortheexperiment，weagreedonanhour。WewerediscussingitwhenthedooropenedandMissChurmcameinwithawetumbrella。MissChurmhadtotaketheomnibustoMaidaValeandthenwalkhalfamile。Shelookedatrifleblowsyandslightlysplashed。Iscarcelyeversawhercomeinwithoutthinkingafreshhowodditwasthat，beingsolittleinherself，sheshouldyetbesomuchinothers。ShewasameagrelittleMissChurm，butwassuchanampleheroineofromance。Shewasonlyafreckledcockney，butshecouldrepresenteverything，fromafineladytoashepherdess，shehadthefacultyasshemighthavehadafinevoiceorlonghair。Shecouldn’tspellandshelovedbeer，butshehadtwoorthree\"points，\"andpractice，andaknack，andmother-wit，andawhimsicalsensibility，andaloveofthetheatre，andsevensisters，——andnotanounceofrespect，especiallyfortheH。Thefirstthingmyvisitorssawwasthatherumbrellawaswet，andintheirspotlessperfectiontheyvisiblywincedatit。Therainhadcomeonsincetheirarrival。
