第1章

类别:其他 作者:Charles Dickens字数:19307更新时间:19/01/02 16:43:31
CHAPTERI—TheGiftBestowedEVERYBODYsaidso。 Farbeitfrommetoassertthatwhateverybodysaysmustbetrue。 Everybodyis,often,aslikelytobewrongasright。Inthegeneralexperience,everybodyhasbeenwrongsooften,andithastaken,inmostinstances,suchawearywhiletofindouthowwrong,thattheauthorityisprovedtobefallible。Everybodymaysometimesberight;\"butTHAT’Snorule,\"astheghostofGilesScrogginssaysintheballad。 Thedreadword,GHOST,recallsme。 Everybodysaidhelookedlikeahauntedman。Theextentofmypresentclaimforeverybodyis,thattheyweresofarright。Hedid。 Whocouldhaveseenhishollowcheek;hissunkenbrillianteye;hisblack—attiredfigure,indefinablygrim,althoughwell—knitandwell—proportioned;hisgrizzledhairhanging,liketangledsea— weed,abouthisface,—asifhehadbeen,throughhiswholelife,alonelymarkforthechafingandbeatingofthegreatdeepofhumanity,—butmighthavesaidhelookedlikeahauntedman? Whocouldhaveobservedhismanner,taciturn,thoughtful,gloomy,shadowedbyhabitualreserve,retiringalwaysandjocundnever,withadistraughtairofrevertingtoabygoneplaceandtime,oroflisteningtosomeoldechoesinhismind,butmighthavesaiditwasthemannerofahauntedman? Whocouldhaveheardhisvoice,slow—speaking,deep,andgrave,withanaturalfulnessandmelodyinitwhichheseemedtosethimselfagainstandstop,butmighthavesaiditwasthevoiceofahauntedman? Whothathadseenhiminhisinnerchamber,partlibraryandpartlaboratory,—forhewas,astheworldknew,farandwide,alearnedmaninchemistry,andateacheronwhoselipsandhandsacrowdofaspiringearsandeyeshungdaily,—whothathadseenhimthere,uponawinternight,alone,surroundedbyhisdrugsandinstrumentsandbooks;theshadowofhisshadedlampamonstrousbeetleonthewall,motionlessamongacrowdofspectralshapesraisedtherebytheflickeringofthefireuponthequaintobjectsaroundhim;someofthesephantoms(thereflectionofglassvesselsthatheldliquids),tremblingatheartlikethingsthatknewhispowertouncombinethem,andtogivebacktheircomponentpartstofireandvapour;—whothathadseenhimthen,hisworkdone,andheponderinginhischairbeforetherustedgrateandredflame,movinghisthinmouthasifinspeech,butsilentasthedead,wouldnothavesaidthatthemanseemedhauntedandthechambertoo? Whomightnot,byaveryeasyflightoffancy,havebelievedthateverythingabouthimtookthishauntedtone,andthathelivedonhauntedground? Hisdwellingwassosolitaryandvault—like,—anold,retiredpartofanancientendowmentforstudents,onceabraveedifice,plantedinanopenplace,butnowtheobsoletewhimofforgottenarchitects;smoke—age—and—weather—darkened,squeezedoneverysidebytheovergrowingofthegreatcity,andchoked,likeanoldwell,withstonesandbricks;itssmallquadrangles,lyingdowninverypitsformedbythestreetsandbuildings,which,incourseoftime,hadbeenconstructedaboveitsheavychimneystalks;itsoldtrees,insultedbytheneighbouringsmoke,whichdeignedtodroopsolowwhenitwasveryfeebleandtheweatherverymoody;itsgrass— plots,strugglingwiththemildewedearthtobegrass,ortowinanyshowofcompromise;itssilentpavements,unaccustomedtothetreadoffeet,andeventotheobservationofeyes,exceptwhenastrayfacelookeddownfromtheupperworld,wonderingwhatnookitwas;itssun—dialinalittlebricked—upcorner,wherenosunhadstraggledforahundredyears,butwhere,incompensationforthesun’sneglect,thesnowwouldlieforweekswhenitlaynowhereelse,andtheblackeastwindwouldspinlikeahugehumming—top,wheninallotherplacesitwassilentandstill。 Hisdwelling,atitsheartandcore—withindoors—athisfireside—wassoloweringandold,socrazy,yetsostrong,withitsworn—eatenbeamsofwoodintheceiling,anditssturdyfloorshelvingdownwardtothegreatoakchimney—piece;soenvironedandhemmedinbythepressureofthetownyetsoremoteinfashion,age,andcustom;soquiet,yetsothunderingwithechoeswhenadistantvoicewasraisedoradoorwasshut,—echoes,notconfinedtothemanylowpassagesandemptyrooms,butrumblingandgrumblingtilltheywerestifledintheheavyairoftheforgottenCryptwheretheNormanarcheswerehalf—buriedintheearth。 Youshouldhaveseenhiminhisdwellingabouttwilight,inthedeadwintertime。 Whenthewindwasblowing,shrillandshrewd,withthegoingdownoftheblurredsun。Whenitwasjustsodark,asthattheformsofthingswereindistinctandbig—butnotwhollylost。Whensittersbythefirebegantoseewildfacesandfigures,mountainsandabysses,ambuscadesandarmies,inthecoals。Whenpeopleinthestreetsbentdowntheirheadsandranbeforetheweather。Whenthosewhowereobligedtomeetit,werestoppedatangrycorners,stungbywanderingsnow—flakesalightingonthelashesoftheireyes,—whichfelltoosparingly,andwereblownawaytooquickly,toleaveatraceuponthefrozenground。Whenwindowsofprivatehousescloseduptightandwarm。Whenlightedgasbegantoburstforthinthebusyandthequietstreets,fastblackeningotherwise。 Whenstraypedestrians,shiveringalongthelatter,lookeddownattheglowingfiresinkitchens,andsharpenedtheirsharpappetitesbysniffingupthefragranceofwholemilesofdinners。 Whentravellersbylandwerebittercold,andlookedwearilyongloomylandscapes,rustlingandshudderingintheblast。Whenmarinersatsea,outlyinguponicyyards,weretossedandswungabovethehowlingoceandreadfully。Whenlighthouses,onrocksandheadlands,showedsolitaryandwatchful;andbenightedsea—birdsbreastedonagainsttheirponderouslanterns,andfelldead。Whenlittlereadersofstory—books,bythefirelight,trembledtothinkofCassimBabacutintoquarters,hangingintheRobbers’Cave,orhadsomesmallmisgivingsthatthefiercelittleoldwoman,withthecrutch,whousedtostartoutoftheboxinthemerchantAbudah’sbedroom,might,oneofthesenights,befounduponthestairs,inthelong,cold,duskyjourneyuptobed。 When,inrusticplaces,thelastglimmeringofdaylightdiedawayfromtheendsofavenues;andthetrees,archingoverhead,weresullenandblack。When,inparksandwoods,thehighwetfernandsoddenmoss,andbedsoffallenleaves,andtrunksoftrees,werelosttoview,inmassesofimpenetrableshade。Whenmistsarosefromdyke,andfen,andriver。Whenlightsinoldhallsandincottagewindows,wereacheerfulsight。Whenthemillstopped,thewheelwrightandtheblacksmithshuttheirworkshops,theturnpike— gateclosed,theploughandharrowwereleftlonelyinthefields,thelabourerandteamwenthome,andthestrikingofthechurchclockhadadeepersoundthanatnoon,andthechurchyardwicketwouldbeswungnomorethatnight。 Whentwilighteverywherereleasedtheshadows,prisonedupallday,thatnowclosedinandgatheredlikemusteringswarmsofghosts。 Whentheystoodlowering,incornersofrooms,andfrownedoutfrombehindhalf—openeddoors。Whentheyhadfullpossessionofunoccupiedapartments。Whentheydanceduponthefloors,andwalls,andceilingsofinhabitedchambers,whilethefirewaslow,andwithdrewlikeebbingwaterswhenitsprangintoablaze。Whentheyfantasticallymockedtheshapesofhouseholdobjects,makingthenurseanogress,therocking—horseamonster,thewonderingchild,half—scaredandhalf—amused,astrangertoitself,—theverytongsuponthehearth,astraddlinggiantwithhisarmsa— kimbo,evidentlysmellingthebloodofEnglishmen,andwantingtogrindpeople’sbonestomakehisbread。 Whentheseshadowsbroughtintothemindsofolderpeople,otherthoughts,andshowedthemdifferentimages。Whentheystolefromtheirretreats,inthelikenessesofformsandfacesfromthepast,fromthegrave,fromthedeep,deepgulf,wherethethingsthatmighthavebeen,andneverwere,arealwayswandering。 Whenhesat,asalreadymentioned,gazingatthefire。When,asitroseandfell,theshadowswentandcame。Whenhetooknoheedofthem,withhisbodilyeyes;but,letthemcomeorletthemgo,lookedfixedlyatthefire。Youshouldhaveseenhim,then。 Whenthesoundsthathadarisenwiththeshadows,andcomeoutoftheirlurking—placesatthetwilightsummons,seemedtomakeadeeperstillnessallabouthim。Whenthewindwasrumblinginthechimney,andsometimescrooning,sometimeshowling,inthehouse。 Whentheoldtreesoutsideweresoshakenandbeaten,thatonequerulousoldrook,unabletosleep,protestednowandthen,inafeeble,dozy,high—up\"Caw!\"When,atintervals,thewindowtrembled,therustyvaneupontheturret—topcomplained,theclockbeneathitrecordedthatanotherquarterofanhourwasgone,orthefirecollapsedandfellinwitharattle。 —Whenaknockcameathisdoor,inshort,ashewassittingso,androusedhim。 \"Who’sthat?\"saidhe。\"Comein!\" Surelytherehadbeennofigureleaningonthebackofhischair; nofacelookingoverit。Itiscertainthatnoglidingfootsteptouchedthefloor,ashelifteduphishead,withastart,andspoke。Andyettherewasnomirrorintheroomonwhosesurfacehisownformcouldhavecastitsshadowforamoment;and,Somethinghadpasseddarklyandgone! \"I’mhumblyfearful,sir,\"saidafresh—colouredbusyman,holdingthedooropenwithhisfootfortheadmissionofhimselfandawoodentrayhecarried,andlettingitgoagainbyverygentleandcarefuldegrees,whenheandthetrayhadgotin,lestitshouldclosenoisily,\"thatit’sagoodbitpastthetimeto—night。ButMrs。Williamhasbeentakenoffherlegssooften\"— \"Bythewind?Ay!Ihavehearditrising。\" \"—Bythewind,sir—thatit’samercyshegothomeatall。Ohdear,yes。Yes。Itwasbythewind,Mr。Redlaw。Bythewind。\" Hehad,bythistime,putdownthetrayfordinner,andwasemployedinlightingthelamp,andspreadingaclothonthetable。 Fromthisemploymenthedesistedinahurry,tostirandfeedthefire,andthenresumedit;thelamphehadlighted,andtheblazethatroseunderhishand,soquicklychangingtheappearanceoftheroom,thatitseemedasifthemerecominginofhisfreshredfaceandactivemannerhadmadethepleasantalteration。 \"Mrs。Williamisofcoursesubjectatanytime,sir,tobetakenoffherbalancebytheelements。SheisnotformedsuperiortoTHAT。\" \"No,\"returnedMr。Redlawgood—naturedly,thoughabruptly。 \"No,sir。Mrs。WilliammaybetakenoffherbalancebyEarth;asforexample,lastSundayweek,whensloppyandgreasy,andshegoingouttoteawithhernewestsister—in—law,andhavingaprideinherself,andwishingtoappearperfectlyspotlessthoughpedestrian。Mrs。WilliammaybetakenoffherbalancebyAir;asbeingonceover—persuadedbyafriendtotryaswingatPeckhamFair,whichactedonherconstitutioninstantlylikeasteam—boat。 Mrs。WilliammaybetakenoffherbalancebyFire;asonafalsealarmofenginesathermother’s,whenshewenttwomilesinhernightcap。Mrs。WilliammaybetakenoffherbalancebyWater;asatBattersea,whenrowedintothepiersbyheryoungnephew,CharleySwidgerjunior,agedtwelve,whichhadnoideaofboatswhatever。Buttheseareelements。Mrs。WilliammustbetakenoutofelementsforthestrengthofHERcharactertocomeintoplay。\" Ashestoppedforareply,thereplywas\"Yes,\"inthesametoneasbefore。 \"Yes,sir。Ohdear,yes!\"saidMr。Swidger,stillproceedingwithhispreparations,andcheckingthemoffashemadethem。\"That’swhereitis,sir。That’swhatIalwayssaymyself,sir。SuchamanyofusSwidgers!—Pepper。Whythere’smyfather,sir,superannuatedkeeperandcustodianofthisInstitution,eighty— sevenyearold。He’saSwidger!—Spoon。\" \"True,William,\"wasthepatientandabstractedanswer,whenhestoppedagain。 \"Yes,sir,\"saidMr。Swidger。\"That’swhatIalwayssay,sir。Youmaycallhimthetrunkofthetree!—Bread。Thenyoucometohissuccessor,myunworthyself—Salt—andMrs。William,Swidgersboth。—Knifeandfork。Thenyoucometoallmybrothersandtheirfamilies,Swidgers,manandwoman,boyandgirl。Why,whatwithcousins,uncles,aunts,andrelationshipsofthis,that,andt’otherdegree,andwhatnotdegree,andmarriages,andlyings—in,theSwidgers—Tumbler—mighttakeholdofhands,andmakearingroundEngland! Receivingnoreplyatallhere,fromthethoughtfulmanwhomheaddressed,Mr。Williamapproached,himnearer,andmadeafeintofaccidentallyknockingthetablewithadecanter,torousehim。Themomenthesucceeded,hewenton,asifingreatalacrityofacquiescence。 \"Yes,sir!That’sjustwhatIsaymyself,sir。Mrs。Williamandmehaveoftensaidso。’There’sSwidgersenough,’wesay,’withoutOURvoluntarycontributions,’—Butter。Infact,sir,myfatherisafamilyinhimself—Castors—totakecareof;andithappensallforthebestthatwehavenochildofourown,thoughit’smadeMrs。Williamratherquiet—like,too。Quitereadyforthefowlandmashedpotatoes,sir?Mrs。Williamsaidshe’ddishintenminuteswhenIlefttheLodge。\" \"Iamquiteready,\"saidtheother,wakingasfromadream,andwalkingslowlytoandfro。 \"Mrs。Williamhasbeenatitagain,sir!\"saidthekeeper,ashestoodwarmingaplateatthefire,andpleasantlyshadinghisfacewithit。Mr。Redlawstoppedinhiswalking,andanexpressionofinterestappearedinhim。 \"WhatIalwayssaymyself,sir。SheWILLdoit!There’samotherlyfeelinginMrs。William’sbreastthatmustandwillhavewent。\" \"Whathasshedone?\" \"Why,sir,notsatisfiedwithbeingasortofmothertoalltheyounggentlementhatcomeupfromavarietyofparts,toattendyourcoursesoflecturesatthisancientfoundation—itssurprisinghowstone—chaneycatchestheheatthisfrostyweather,tobesure!\"Hereheturnedtheplate,andcooledhisfingers。 \"Well?\"saidMr。Redlaw。 \"That’sjustwhatIsaymyself,sir,\"returnedMr。William,speakingoverhisshoulder,asifinreadyanddelightedassent。 \"That’sexactlywhereitis,sir!Thereain’toneofourstudentsbutappearstoregardMrs。Williaminthatlight。Everyday,rightthroughthecourse,theyputstheirheadsintotheLodge,oneafteranother,andhaveallgotsomethingtotellher,orsomethingtoaskher。’Swidge’istheappellationbywhichtheyspeakofMrs。 Williamingeneral,amongthemselves,I’mtold;butthat’swhatI say,sir。Betterbecalledeversofaroutofyourname,ifit’sdoneinrealliking,thanhaveitmadeeversomuchof,andnotcaredabout!What’sanamefor?Toknowapersonby。IfMrs。 Williamisknownbysomethingbetterthanhername—IalludetoMrs。William’squalitiesanddisposition—nevermindhername,thoughitISSwidger,byrights。Let’emcallherSwidge,Widge,Bridge—Lord!LondonBridge,Blackfriars,Chelsea,Putney,Waterloo,orHammersmithSuspension—iftheylike。\" Thecloseofthistriumphantorationbroughthimandtheplatetothetable,uponwhichhehalflaidandhalfdroppedit,withalivelysenseofitsbeingthoroughlyheated,justasthesubjectofhispraisesenteredtheroom,bearinganothertrayandalantern,andfollowedbyavenerableoldmanwithlonggreyhair。 Mrs。William,likeMr。William,wasasimple,innocent—lookingperson,inwhosesmoothcheeksthecheerfulredofherhusband’sofficialwaistcoatwasverypleasantlyrepeated。ButwhereasMr。 William’slighthairstoodonendalloverhishead,andseemedtodrawhiseyesupwithitinanexcessofbustlingreadinessforanything,thedarkbrownhairofMrs。Williamwascarefullysmootheddown,andwavedawayunderatrimtidycap,inthemostexactandquietmannerimaginable。WhereasMr。William’sverytrousershitchedthemselvesupattheankles,asifitwerenotintheiriron—greynaturetorestwithoutlookingaboutthem,Mrs。 William’sneatly—floweredskirts—redandwhite,likeherownprettyface—wereascomposedandorderly,asiftheverywindthatblewsohardoutofdoorscouldnotdisturboneoftheirfolds。Whereashiscoathadsomethingofafly—awayandhalf—offappearanceaboutthecollarandbreast,herlittlebodicewassoplacidandneat,thatthereshouldhavebeenprotectionforher,init,hadsheneededany,withtheroughestpeople。Whocouldhavehadthehearttomakesocalmabosomswellwithgrief,orthrobwithfear,orflutterwithathoughtofshame!Towhomwoulditsreposeandpeacehavenotappealedagainstdisturbance,liketheinnocentslumberofachild! \"Punctual,ofcourse,Milly,\"saidherhusband,relievingherofthetray,\"oritwouldn’tbeyou。Here’sMrs。William,sir!—Helookslonelierthaneverto—night,\"whisperingtohiswife,ashewastakingthetray,\"andghostlieraltogether。\" Withoutanyshowofhurryornoise,oranyshowofherselfeven,shewassocalmandquiet,Millysetthedishesshehadbroughtuponthetable,—Mr。William,aftermuchclatteringandrunningabout,havingonlygainedpossessionofabutter—boatofgravy,whichhestoodreadytoserve。 \"Whatisthattheoldmanhasinhisarms?\"askedMr。Redlaw,ashesatdowntohissolitarymeal。 \"Holly,sir,\"repliedthequietvoiceofMilly。 \"That’swhatIsaymyself,sir,\"interposedMr。William,strikinginwiththebutter—boat。\"Berriesissoseasonabletothetimeofyear!—Browngravy!\" \"AnotherChristmascome,anotheryeargone!\"murmuredtheChemist,withagloomysigh。\"Morefiguresinthelengtheningsumofrecollectionthatweworkandworkattoourtorment,tillDeathidlyjumblesalltogether,andrubsallout。So,Philip!\"breakingoff,andraisinghisvoiceasheaddressedtheoldman,standingapart,withhisglisteningburdeninhisarms,fromwhichthequietMrs。Williamtooksmallbranches,whichshenoiselesslytrimmedwithherscissors,anddecoratedtheroomwith,whileheragedfather—in—lawlookedonmuchinterestedintheceremony。 \"Mydutytoyou,sir,\"returnedtheoldman。\"Shouldhavespokebefore,sir,butknowyourways,Mr。Redlaw—proudtosay—andwaittillspoketo!MerryChristmas,sir,andHappyNewYear,andmanyof’em。Havehadaprettymanyof’emmyself—ha,ha!—andmaytakethelibertyofwishing’em。I’meighty—seven!\" \"Haveyouhadsomanythatweremerryandhappy?\"askedtheother。 \"Ay,sir,eversomany,\"returnedtheoldman。 \"Ishismemoryimpairedwithage?Itistobeexpectednow,\"saidMr。Redlaw,turningtotheson,andspeakinglower。 \"Notamorselofit,sir,\"repliedMr。William。\"That’sexactlywhatIsaymyself,sir。Thereneverwassuchamemoryasmyfather’s。He’sthemostwonderfulmanintheworld。Hedon’tknowwhatforgettingmeans。It’stheveryobservationI’malwaysmakingtoMrs。William,sir,ifyou’llbelieveme!\" Mr。Swidger,inhispolitedesiretoseemtoacquiesceatallevents,deliveredthisasiftherewerenoiotaofcontradictioninit,anditwereallsaidinunboundedandunqualifiedassent。 TheChemistpushedhisplateaway,and,risingfromthetable,walkedacrosstheroomtowheretheoldmanstoodlookingatalittlesprigofhollyinhishand。 \"Itrecallsthetimewhenmanyofthoseyearswereoldandnew,then?\"hesaid,observinghimattentively,andtouchinghimontheshoulder。\"Doesit?\" \"Ohmany,many!\"saidPhilip,halfawakingfromhisreverie。\"I’meighty—seven!\" \"Merryandhappy,wasit?\"askedtheChemistinalowvoice。 \"Merryandhappy,oldman?\" \"Maybeashighasthat,nohigher,\"saidtheoldman,holdingouthishandalittlewayabovethelevelofhisknee,andlookingretrospectivelyathisquestioner,\"whenIfirstremember’em! Cold,sunshinydayitwas,outa—walking,whensomeone—itwasmymotherassureasyoustandthere,thoughIdon’tknowwhatherblessedfacewaslike,forshetookillanddiedthatChristmas— time—toldmetheywerefoodforbirds。Theprettylittlefellowthought—that’sme,youunderstand—thatbirds’eyesweresobright,perhaps,becausetheberriesthattheylivedoninthewinterweresobright。Irecollectthat。AndI’meighty—seven!\" \"Merryandhappy!\"musedtheother,bendinghisdarkeyesuponthestoopingfigure,withasmileofcompassion。\"Merryandhappy— andrememberwell?\" \"Ay,ay,ay!\"resumedtheoldman,catchingthelastwords。\"I remember’emwellinmyschooltime,yearafteryear,andallthemerry—makingthatusedtocomealongwiththem。Iwasastrongchapthen,Mr。Redlaw;and,ifyou’llbelieveme,hadn’tmymatchatfootballwithintenmile。Where’smysonWilliam?Hadn’tmymatchatfootball,William,withintenmile!\" That’swhatIalwayssay,father!\"returnedthesonpromptly,andwithgreatrespect。\"YouAREaSwidger,ifevertherewasoneofthefamily!\" \"Dear!\"saidtheoldman,shakinghisheadasheagainlookedattheholly。\"Hismother—mysonWilliam’smyyoungestson—andI,havesatamongem’all,boysandgirls,littlechildrenandbabies,manyayear,whentheberrieslikethesewerenotshininghalfsobrightallroundus,astheirbrightfaces。Manyof’emaregone; she’sgone;andmysonGeorge(oureldest,whowasherpridemorethanalltherest!)isfallenverylow:butIcanseethem,whenI lookhere,aliveandhealthy,astheyusedtobeinthosedays;andIcanseehim,thankGod,inhisinnocence。It’sablessedthingtome,ateighty—seven。\" Thekeenlookthathadbeenfixeduponhimwithsomuchearnestness,hadgraduallysoughttheground。 \"Whenmycircumstancesgottobenotsogoodasformerly,throughnotbeinghonestlydealtby,andIfirstcomeheretobecustodian,\"saidtheoldman,\"—whichwasupwardsoffiftyyearsago—where’smysonWilliam?Morethanhalfacenturyago,William!\" \"That’swhatIsay,father,\"repliedtheson,aspromptlyanddutifullyasbefore,\"that’sexactlywhereitis。Twotimesought’sanought,andtwicefiveten,andthere’sahundredof’em。\" \"Itwasquiteapleasuretoknowthatoneofourfounders—ormorecorrectlyspeaking,\"saidtheoldman,withagreatgloryinhissubjectandhisknowledgeofit,\"oneofthelearnedgentlementhathelpedendowusinQueenElizabeth’stime,forwewerefoundedaforeherday—leftinhiswill,amongtheotherbequestshemadeus,somuchtobuyholly,forgarnishingthewallsandwindows,comeChristmas。Therewassomethinghomelyandfriendlyinit。 Beingbutstrangehere,then,andcomingatChristmastime,wetookalikingforhisverypicterthathangsinwhatusedtobe,anciently,aforeourtenpoorgentlemencommutedforanannualstipendinmoney,ourgreatDinnerHall。—Asedategentlemaninapeakedbeard,witharuffroundhisneck,andascrollbelowhim,inoldEnglishletters,’Lord!keepmymemorygreen!’Youknowallabouthim,Mr。Redlaw?\" \"Iknowtheportraithangsthere,Philip。\" \"Yes,sure,it’sthesecondontheright,abovethepanelling。I wasgoingtosay—hehashelpedtokeepMYmemorygreen,Ithankhim;forgoingroundthebuildingeveryyear,asI’madoingnow,andfresheningupthebareroomswiththesebranchesandberries,freshensupmybareoldbrain。Oneyearbringsbackanother,andthatyearanother,andthoseothersnumbers!Atlast,itseemstomeasifthebirth—timeofourLordwasthebirth—timeofallI haveeverhadaffectionfor,ormournedfor,ordelightedin,—andthey’reaprettymany,forI’meighty—seven!\" \"Merryandhappy,\"murmuredRedlawtohimself。 Theroombegantodarkenstrangely。 \"Soyousee,sir,\"pursuedoldPhilip,whosehalewintrycheekhadwarmedintoaruddierglow,andwhoseblueeyeshadbrightenedwhilehespoke,\"Ihaveplentytokeep,whenIkeepthispresentseason。Now,where’smyquietMouse?Chattering’sthesinofmytimeoflife,andthere’shalfthebuildingtodoyet,ifthecolddon’tfreezeusfirst,orthewinddon’tblowusaway,orthedarknessdon’tswallowusup。\" ThequietMousehadbroughthercalmfacetohisside,andsilentlytakenhisarm,beforehefinishedspeaking。 \"Comeaway,mydear,\"saidtheoldman。\"Mr。Redlawwon’tsettletohisdinner,otherwise,tillit’scoldasthewinter。Ihopeyou’llexcusemeramblingon,sir,andIwishyougoodnight,and,onceagain,amerry—\" \"Stay!\"saidMr。Redlaw,resuminghisplaceatthetable,more,itwouldhaveseemedfromhismanner,toreassuretheoldkeeper,thaninanyremembranceofhisownappetite。\"Sparemeanothermoment,Philip。William,youweregoingtotellmesomethingtoyourexcellentwife’shonour。Itwillnotbedisagreeabletohertohearyoupraiseher。Whatwasit?\" \"Why,that’swhereitis,yousee,sir,\"returnedMr。WilliamSwidger,lookingtowardshiswifeinconsiderableembarrassment。 \"Mrs。William’sgothereyeuponme。\" \"Butyou’renotafraidofMrs。William’seye?\" \"Why,no,sir,\"returnedMr。Swidger,\"that’swhatIsaymyself。 Itwasn’tmadetobeafraidof。Itwouldn’thavebeenmadesomild,ifthatwastheintention。ButIwouldn’tliketo—Milly!— him,youknow。DownintheBuildings。\" Mr。William,standingbehindthetable,andrummagingdisconcertedlyamongtheobjectsuponit,directedpersuasiveglancesatMrs。William,andsecretjerksofhisheadandthumbatMr。Redlaw,asalluringhertowardshim。 \"Him,youknow,mylove,\"saidMr。William。\"DownintheBuildings。Tell,mydear!You’retheworksofShakespeareincomparisonwithmyself。DownintheBuildings,youknow,mylove。 —Student。\" \"Student?\"repeatedMr。Redlaw,raisinghishead。 \"That’swhatIsay,sir!\"criedMr。William,intheutmostanimationofassent。\"Ifitwasn’tthepoorstudentdownintheBuildings,whyshouldyouwishtohearitfromMrs。William’slips? Mrs。William,mydear—Buildings。\" \"Ididn’tknow,\"saidMilly,withaquietfrankness,freefromanyhasteorconfusion,\"thatWilliamhadsaidanythingaboutit,orI wouldn’thavecome。Iaskedhimnotto。It’sasickyounggentleman,sir—andverypoor,Iamafraid—whoistooilltogohomethisholiday—time,andlives,unknowntoanyone,inbutacommonkindoflodgingforagentleman,downinJerusalemBuildings。That’sall,sir。\" \"WhyhaveIneverheardofhim?\"saidtheChemist,risinghurriedly。\"Whyhashenotmadehissituationknowntome?Sick! —givememyhatandcloak。Poor!—whathouse?—whatnumber?\" \"Oh,youmustn’tgothere,sir,\"saidMilly,leavingherfather—in— law,andcalmlyconfrontinghimwithhercollectedlittlefaceandfoldedhands。 \"Notgothere?\" \"Ohdear,no!\"saidMilly,shakingherheadasatamostmanifestandself—evidentimpossibility。\"Itcouldn’tbethoughtof!\" \"Whatdoyoumean?Whynot?\" \"Why,yousee,sir,\"saidMr。WilliamSwidger,persuasivelyandconfidentially,\"that’swhatIsay。Dependuponit,theyounggentlemanwouldneverhavemadehissituationknowntooneofhisownsex。Mrs。Williamshasgotintohisconfidence,butthat’squitedifferent。TheyallconfideinMrs。William;theyalltrustHER。Aman,sir,couldn’thavegotawhisperoutofhim;butwoman,sir,andMrs。Williamcombined—!\" \"Thereisgoodsenseanddelicacyinwhatyousay,William,\" returnedMr。Redlaw,observantofthegentleandcomposedfaceathisshoulder。Andlayinghisfingeronhislip,hesecretlyputhispurseintoherhand。 \"Ohdearno,sir!\"criedMilly,givingitbackagain。\"Worseandworse!Couldn’tbedreamedof!\" Suchastaidmatter—of—facthousewifeshewas,andsounruffledbythemomentaryhasteofthisrejection,that,aninstantafterwards,shewastidilypickingupafewleaveswhichhadstrayedfrombetweenherscissorsandherapron,whenshehadarrangedtheholly。 Finding,whensherosefromherstoopingposture,thatMr。Redlawwasstillregardingherwithdoubtandastonishment,shequietlyrepeated—lookingabout,thewhile,foranyotherfragmentsthatmighthaveescapedherobservation: \"Ohdearno,sir!Hesaidthatofalltheworldhewouldnotbeknowntoyou,orreceivehelpfromyou—thoughheisastudentinyourclass。Ihavemadenotermsofsecrecywithyou,butItrusttoyourhonourcompletely。\" \"Whydidhesayso?\" \"IndeedIcan’ttell,sir,\"saidMilly,afterthinkingalittle,\"becauseIamnotatallclever,youknow;andIwantedtobeusefultohiminmakingthingsneatandcomfortableabouthim,andemployedmyselfthatway。ButIknowheispoor,andlonely,andI thinkheissomehowneglectedtoo。—Howdarkitis!\" Theroomhaddarkenedmoreandmore。TherewasaveryheavygloomandshadowgatheringbehindtheChemist’schair。 \"Whatmoreabouthim?\"heasked。 \"Heisengagedtobemarriedwhenhecanaffordit,\"saidMilly,\"andisstudying,Ithink,toqualifyhimselftoearnaliving。I haveseen,alongtime,thathehasstudiedhardanddeniedhimselfmuch。—Howverydarkitis!\" \"It’sturnedcolder,too,\"saidtheoldman,rubbinghishands。 \"There’sachillanddismalfeelingintheroom。Where’smysonWilliam?William,myboy,turnthelamp,androusethefire!\" Milly’svoiceresumed,likequietmusicverysoftlyplayed: \"Hemutteredinhisbrokensleepyesterdayafternoon,aftertalkingtome\"(thiswastoherself)\"aboutsomeonedead,andsomegreatwrongdonethatcouldneverbeforgotten;butwhethertohimortoanotherperson,Idon’tknow。NotBYhim,Iamsure。\" \"And,inshort,Mrs。William,yousee—whichshewouldn’tsayherself,Mr。Redlaw,ifshewastostopheretillthenewyearafterthisnextone—\"saidMr。William,cominguptohimtospeakinhisear,\"hasdonehimworldsofgood!Blessyou,worldsofgood!Allathomejustthesameasever—myfathermadeassnugandcomfortable—notacrumboflittertobefoundinthehouse,ifyouweretoofferfiftypoundreadymoneyforit—Mrs。Williamapparentlyneveroutoftheway—yetMrs。Williambackwardsandforwards,backwardsandforwards,upanddown,upanddown,amothertohim!\" Theroomturneddarkerandcolder,andthegloomandshadowgatheringbehindthechairwasheavier。 \"Notcontentwiththis,sir,Mrs。Williamgoesandfinds,thisverynight,whenshewascominghome(whyit’snotaboveacoupleofhoursago),acreaturemorelikeayoungwildbeastthanayoungchild,shiveringuponadoor—step。WhatdoesMrs。Williamdo,butbringsithometodryit,andfeedit,andkeepittillouroldBountyoffoodandflannelisgivenaway,onChristmasmorning!Ifiteverfeltafirebefore,it’sasmuchaseveritdid;forit’ssittingintheoldLodgechimney,staringatoursasifitsravenouseyeswouldnevershutagain。It’ssittingthere,atleast,\"saidMr。William,correctinghimself,onreflection,\"unlessit’sbolted!\" \"Heavenkeepherhappy!\"saidtheChemistaloud,\"andyoutoo,Philip!andyou,William!Imustconsiderwhattodointhis。I maydesiretoseethisstudent,I’llnotdetainyouanylongernow。 Good—night!\" \"Ithank’ee,sir,Ithank’ee!\"saidtheoldman,\"forMouse,andformysonWilliam,andformyself。Where’smysonWilliam? William,youtakethelanternandgoonfirst,throughthemlongdarkpassages,asyoudidlastyearandtheyearafore。Haha!I remember—thoughI’meighty—seven!’Lord,keepmymemorygreen!’ It’saverygoodprayer,Mr。Redlaw,thatofthelearnedgentlemaninthepeakedbeard,witharuffroundhisneck—hangsup,secondontherightabovethepanelling,inwhatusedtobe,aforeourtenpoorgentlemencommuted,ourgreatDinnerHall。’Lord,keepmymemorygreen!’It’sverygoodandpious,sir。Amen!Amen!\" Astheypassedoutandshuttheheavydoor,which,howevercarefullywithheld,firedalongtrainofthunderingreverberationswhenitshutatlast,theroomturneddarker。 Ashefellamusinginhischairalone,thehealthyhollywitheredonthewall,anddropped—deadbranches。 Asthegloomandshadowthickenedbehindhim,inthatplacewhereithadbeengatheringsodarkly,ittook,byslowdegrees,—oroutofittherecame,bysomeunreal,unsubstantialprocess—nottobetracedbyanyhumansense,—anawfullikenessofhimself! Ghastlyandcold,colourlessinitsleadenfaceandhands,butwithhisfeatures,andhisbrighteyes,andhisgrizzledhair,anddressedinthegloomyshadowofhisdress,itcameintohisterribleappearanceofexistence,motionless,withoutasound。AsHEleanedhisarmupontheelbowofhischair,ruminatingbeforethefire,ITleaneduponthechair—back,closeabovehim,withitsappallingcopyofhisfacelookingwherehisfacelooked,andbearingtheexpressionhisfacebore。 This,then,wastheSomethingthathadpassedandgonealready。 Thiswasthedreadcompanionofthehauntedman! Ittook,forsomemoments,nomoreapparentheedofhim,thanheofit。TheChristmasWaitswereplayingsomewhereinthedistance,and,throughhisthoughtfulness,heseemedtolistentothemusic。 Itseemedtolistentoo。 Atlengthhespoke;withoutmovingorliftinguphisface。 \"Hereagain!\"hesaid。 \"Hereagain,\"repliedthePhantom。 \"Iseeyouinthefire,\"saidthehauntedman;\"Ihearyouinmusic,inthewind,inthedeadstillnessofthenight。\" ThePhantommoveditshead,assenting。 \"Whydoyoucome,tohauntmethus?\" \"IcomeasIamcalled,\"repliedtheGhost。 \"No。Unbidden,\"exclaimedtheChemist。 \"Unbiddenbeit,\"saidtheSpectre。\"Itisenough。Iamhere。\" Hithertothelightofthefirehadshoneonthetwofaces—ifthedreadlineamentsbehindthechairmightbecalledaface—bothaddressedtowardsit,asatfirst,andneitherlookingattheother。But,now,thehauntedmanturned,suddenly,andstaredupontheGhost。TheGhost,assuddeninitsmotion,passedtobeforethechair,andstaredonhim。 Thelivingman,andtheanimatedimageofhimselfdead,mightsohavelooked,theoneupontheother。Anawfulsurvey,inalonelyandremotepartofanemptyoldpileofbuilding,onawinternight,withtheloudwindgoingbyuponitsjourneyofmystery— whenceorwhither,nomanknowingsincetheworldbegan—andthestars,inunimaginablemillions,glitteringthroughit,frometernalspace,wheretheworld’sbulkisasagrain,anditshoaryageisinfancy。 \"Lookuponme!\"saidtheSpectre。\"Iamhe,neglectedinmyyouth,andmiserablypoor,whostroveandsuffered,andstillstroveandsuffered,untilIhewedoutknowledgefromtheminewhereitwasburied,andmaderuggedstepsthereof,formywornfeettorestandriseon。\" \"IAMthatman,\"returnedtheChemist。 \"Nomother’sself—denyinglove,\"pursuedthePhantom,\"nofather’scounsel,aidedME。Astrangercameintomyfather’splacewhenI wasbutachild,andIwaseasilyanalienfrommymother’sheart。 Myparents,atthebest,wereofthatsortwhosecaresoonends,andwhosedutyissoondone;whocasttheiroffspringloose,early,asbirdsdotheirs;and,iftheydowell,claimthemerit;and,ifill,thepity。\" Itpaused,andseemedtotemptandgoadhimwithitslook,andwiththemannerofitsspeech,andwithitssmile。 \"Iamhe,\"pursuedthePhantom,\"who,inthisstruggleupward,foundafriend。Imadehim—wonhim—boundhimtome!Weworkedtogether,sidebyside。Alltheloveandconfidencethatinmyearlieryouthhadhadnooutlet,andfoundnoexpression,I bestowedonhim。\" \"Notall,\"saidRedlaw,hoarsely。 \"No,notall,\"returnedthePhantom。\"Ihadasister。\" Thehauntedman,withhisheadrestingonhishands,replied\"I had!\"ThePhantom,withanevilsmile,drewclosertothechair,andrestingitschinuponitsfoldedhands,itsfoldedhandsupontheback,andlookingdownintohisfacewithsearchingeyes,thatseemedinstinctwithfire,wenton: \"SuchglimpsesofthelightofhomeasIhadeverknown,hadstreamedfromher。Howyoungshewas,howfair,howloving!I tookhertothefirstpoorroofthatIwasmasterof,andmadeitrich。Shecameintothedarknessofmylife,andmadeitbright。— Sheisbeforeme!\" \"Isawher,inthefire,butnow。Ihearherinmusic,inthewind,inthedeadstillnessofthenight,\"returnedthehauntedman。 \"DIDheloveher?\"saidthePhantom,echoinghiscontemplativetone。\"Ithinkhedid,once。Iamsurehedid。Betterhadshelovedhimless—lesssecretly,lessdearly,fromtheshallowerdepthsofamoredividedheart!\" \"Letmeforgetit!\"saidtheChemist,withanangrymotionofhishand。\"Letmeblotitfrommymemory!\" TheSpectre,withoutstirring,andwithitsunwinking,crueleyesstillfixeduponhisface,wenton: \"Adream,likehers,stoleuponmyownlife。\" \"Itdid,\"saidRedlaw。 \"Alove,aslikehers,\"pursuedthePhantom,\"asmyinferiornaturemightcherish,aroseinmyownheart。Iwastoopoortobinditsobjecttomyfortunethen,byanythreadofpromiseorentreaty。Ilovedherfartoowell,toseektodoit。But,morethaneverIhadstriveninmylife,Istrovetoclimb!Onlyaninchgained,broughtmesomethingnearertotheheight。Itoiledup!Inthelatepausesofmylabouratthattime,—mysister(sweetcompanion!)stillsharingwithmetheexpiringembersandthecoolinghearth,—whendaywasbreaking,whatpicturesofthefuturedidIsee!\" \"Isawthem,inthefire,butnow,\"hemurmured。\"Theycomebacktomeinmusic,inthewind,inthedeadstillnessofthenight,intherevolvingyears。\" \"—Picturesofmyowndomesticlife,inaftertime,withherwhowastheinspirationofmytoil。Picturesofmysister,madethewifeofmydearfriend,onequalterms—forhehadsomeinheritance,wenone—picturesofoursoberedageandmellowedhappiness,andofthegoldenlinks,extendingbacksofar,thatshouldbindus,andourchildren,inaradiantgarland,\"saidthePhantom。 \"Pictures,\"saidthehauntedman,\"thatweredelusions。Whyisitmydoomtorememberthemtoowell!\" \"Delusions,\"echoedthePhantominitschangelessvoice,andglaringonhimwithitschangelesseyes。\"Formyfriend(inwhosebreastmyconfidencewaslockedasinmyown),passingbetweenmeandthecentreofthesystemofmyhopesandstruggles,wonhertohimself,andshatteredmyfrailuniverse。Mysister,doublydear,doublydevoted,doublycheerfulinmyhome,livedontoseemefamous,andmyoldambitionsorewardedwhenitsspringwasbroken,andthen—\" \"Thendied,\"heinterposed。\"Died,gentleasever;happy;andwithnoconcernbutforherbrother。Peace!\" ThePhantomwatchedhimsilently。 \"Remembered!\"saidthehauntedman,afterapause。\"Yes。Sowellremembered,thatevennow,whenyearshavepassed,andnothingismoreidleormorevisionarytomethantheboyishlovesolongoutlived,Ithinkofitwithsympathy,asifitwereayoungerbrother’sorason’s。SometimesIevenwonderwhenherheartfirstinclinedtohim,andhowithadbeenaffectedtowardsme。—Notlightly,once,Ithink。—Butthatisnothing。Earlyunhappiness,awoundfromahandIlovedandtrusted,andalossthatnothingcanreplace,outlivesuchfancies。\" \"Thus,\"saidthePhantom,\"IbearwithinmeaSorrowandaWrong。 ThusIpreyuponmyself。Thus,memoryismycurse;and,ifIcouldforgetmysorrowandmywrong,Iwould!\" \"Mocker!\"saidtheChemist,leapingup,andmaking,withawrathfulhand,atthethroatofhisotherself。\"WhyhaveIalwaysthattauntinmyears?\" \"Forbear!\"exclaimedtheSpectreinanawfulvoice。\"LayahandonMe,anddie!\" Hestoppedmidway,asifitswordshadparalysedhim,andstoodlookingonit。Ithadglidedfromhim;ithaditsarmraisedhighinwarning;andasmilepassedoveritsunearthlyfeatures,asitreareditsdarkfigureintriumph。 \"IfIcouldforgetmysorrowandwrong,Iwould,\"theGhostrepeated。\"IfIcouldforgetmysorrowandmywrong,Iwould!\" \"Evilspiritofmyself,\"returnedthehauntedman,inalow,tremblingtone,\"mylifeisdarkenedbythatincessantwhisper。\" \"Itisanecho,\"saidthePhantom。 \"Ifitbeanechoofmythoughts—asnow,indeed,Iknowitis,\" rejoinedthehauntedman,\"whyshouldI,therefore,betormented? Itisnotaselfishthought。Isufferittorangebeyondmyself。 Allmenandwomenhavetheirsorrows,—mostofthemtheirwrongs; ingratitude,andsordidjealousy,andinterest,besettingalldegreesoflife。Whowouldnotforgettheirsorrowsandtheirwrongs?\" \"Whowouldnot,truly,andbehappierandbetterforit?\"saidthePhantom。 \"Theserevolutionsofyears,whichwecommemorate,\"proceededRedlaw,\"whatdoTHEYrecall!Arethereanymindsinwhichtheydonotre—awakensomesorrow,orsometrouble?Whatistheremembranceoftheoldmanwhowashereto—night?Atissueofsorrowandtrouble。\" \"Butcommonnatures,\"saidthePhantom,withitsevilsmileuponitsglassyface,\"unenlightenedmindsandordinaryspirits,donotfeelorreasononthesethingslikemenofhighercultivationandprofounderthought。\" \"Tempter,\"answeredRedlaw,\"whosehollowlookandvoiceIdreadmorethanwordscanexpress,andfromwhomsomedimforeshadowingofgreaterfearisstealingovermewhileIspeak,Ihearagainanechoofmyownmind。\" \"ReceiveitasaproofthatIampowerful,\"returnedtheGhost。 \"HearwhatIoffer!Forgetthesorrow,wrong,andtroubleyouhaveknown!\" \"Forgetthem!\"herepeated。 \"Ihavethepowertocanceltheirremembrance—toleavebutveryfaint,confusedtracesofthem,thatwilldieoutsoon,\"returnedtheSpectre。\"Say!Isitdone?\" \"Stay!\"criedthehauntedman,arrestingbyaterrifiedgesturetheupliftedhand。\"Itremblewithdistrustanddoubtofyou;andthedimfearyoucastuponmedeepensintoanamelesshorrorIcanhardlybear。—Iwouldnotdeprivemyselfofanykindlyrecollection,oranysympathythatisgoodforme,orothers。WhatshallIlose,ifIassenttothis?Whatelsewillpassfrommyremembrance?\" \"Noknowledge;noresultofstudy;nothingbuttheintertwistedchainoffeelingsandassociations,eachinitsturndependenton,andnourishedby,thebanishedrecollections。Thosewillgo。\" \"Aretheysomany?\"saidthehauntedman,reflectinginalarm。 \"Theyhavebeenwonttoshowthemselvesinthefire,inmusic,inthewind,inthedeadstillnessofthenight,intherevolvingyears,\"returnedthePhantomscornfully。 \"Innothingelse?\" ThePhantomhelditspeace。 Buthavingstoodbeforehim,silent,foralittlewhile,itmovedtowardsthefire;thenstopped。 \"Decide!\"itsaid,\"beforetheopportunityislost!\" \"Amoment!IcallHeaventowitness,\"saidtheagitatedman,\"thatIhaveneverbeenahaterofanykind,—nevermorose,indifferent,orhard,toanythingaroundme。If,livingherealone,Ihavemadetoomuchofallthatwasandmighthavebeen,andtoolittleofwhatis,theevil,Ibelieve,hasfallenonme,andnotonothers。 But,iftherewerepoisoninmybody,shouldInot,possessedofantidotesandknowledgehowtousethem,usethem?Iftherebepoisoninmymind,andthroughthisfearfulshadowIcancastitout,shallInotcastitout?\" \"Say,\"saidtheSpectre,\"isitdone?\" \"Amomentlonger!\"heansweredhurriedly。\"IWOULDFORGETITIFI COULD!HaveIthoughtthat,alone,orhasitbeenthethoughtofthousandsuponthousands,generationaftergeneration?Allhumanmemoryisfraughtwithsorrowandtrouble。Mymemoryisasthememoryofothermen,butothermenhavenotthischoice。Yes,I closethebargain。Yes!IWILLforgetmysorrow,wrong,andtrouble!\" \"Say,\"saidtheSpectre,\"isitdone?\" \"Itis!\" \"ITIS。Andtakethiswithyou,manwhomIhererenounce!ThegiftthatIhavegiven,youshallgiveagain,gowhereyouwill。 Withoutrecoveringyourselfthepowerthatyouhaveyieldedup,youshallhenceforthdestroyitslikeinallwhomyouapproach。Yourwisdomhasdiscoveredthatthememoryofsorrow,wrong,andtroubleisthelotofallmankind,andthatmankindwouldbethehappier,initsothermemories,withoutit。Go!Beitsbenefactor!Freedfromsuchremembrance,fromthishour,carryinvoluntarilytheblessingofsuchfreedomwithyou。Itsdiffusionisinseparableandinalienablefromyou。Go!Behappyinthegoodyouhavewon,andinthegoodyoudo!\" ThePhantom,whichhadhelditsbloodlesshandabovehimwhileitspoke,asifinsomeunholyinvocation,orsomeban;andwhichhadgraduallyadvanceditseyessoclosetohis,thathecouldseehowtheydidnotparticipateintheterriblesmileuponitsface,butwereafixed,unalterable,steadyhorrormeltedbeforehimandwasgone。 Ashestoodrootedtothespot,possessedbyfearandwonder,andimaginingheheardrepeatedinmelancholyechoes,dyingawayfainterandfainter,thewords,\"Destroyitslikeinallwhomyouapproach!\"ashrillcryreachedhisears。Itcame,notfromthepassagesbeyondthedoor,butfromanotherpartoftheoldbuilding,andsoundedlikethecryofsomeoneinthedarkwhohadlosttheway。 Helookedconfusedlyuponhishandsandlimbs,asiftobeassuredofhisidentity,andthenshoutedinreply,loudlyandwildly;fortherewasastrangenessandterroruponhim,asifhetoowerelost。 Thecryresponding,andbeingnearer,hecaughtupthelamp,andraisedaheavycurtaininthewall,bywhichhewasaccustomedtopassintoandoutofthetheatrewherehelectured,—whichadjoinedhisroom。Associatedwithyouthandanimation,andahighamphitheatreoffaceswhichhisentrancecharmedtointerestinamoment,itwasaghostlyplacewhenallthislifewasfadedoutofit,andstareduponhimlikeanemblemofDeath。