第6章

类别:其他 作者:Eleanor H. Porter字数:16678更新时间:19/01/02 08:15:40
Thislineofthoughtheabandonedquickly,however;itcoulddonogood.Butwhatcoulddogood,heaskedhimself.Whatcouldhedo? Withblindingforcecametheanswer:hecoulddonothing.Billycaredforhim.Billyhadsaid\"yes.\"Billyexpectedtobehiswife.Asifhecouldsaytohernow:\"Ibegyourpardon,but’twasallamistake._I_didnotaskyoutomarryme.\" VeryvaliantlythenWilliamsummonedhiswitsandtriedtoacthispart.Hetoldhimself,too,thatitwouldnotbeahardone;thathelovedBillydearly,andthathewouldtrytomakeherhappy.Hewincedalittleatthisthought,forherememberedsuddenlyhowoldhewas——asifhe,athisage,wereafitmatchforagirloftwenty—one! AndthenhelookedatBilly.Thegirlwasplainlynervous.Therewasadeepflushonhercheeksandabrilliantsparkleinhereyes. Shewastalkingrapidly——almostincoherentlyattimes——andhervoicewastremulous.Frequentlittleembarrassedlaughspunctuatedhersentences,andherfingerstoyedwitheverythingthatcamewithinreach.Sometimebeforeshehadsprungtoherfeetandhadturnedontheelectriclights;andwhenshecamebackshehadnottakenheroldpositionatWilliam’sside,buthadseatedherselfinachairnearby.Allofwhich,accordingtoWilliam’seyes,meantthemaidenlyshynessofagirlwhohasjustsaid\"yes\"tothemansheloves. Williamwenthomethatnightinadaze.Tohimselfhesaidthathehadgoneoutinsearchofadaughter,andhadcomebackwithawife. CHAPTERXXXVII \"WILLIAM’SBROTHER\" Itwasdecidedthatforthepresent,theengagementshouldnotbeknownoutsidethefamily.Theweddingwouldnottakeplaceimmediately,Williamsaid,anditwasjustaswelltokeepthemattertothemselvesuntilplanswerealittlemoredefinite. Themembersofthefamilyweretoldatonce.AuntHannahsaid\"Oh,mygriefandconscience!\"threetimes,andmademattersscarcelybetterbyaddingapologetically:\"Oh,ofcourseit’sallright,it’sallright,only——\"Shedidnotfinishhersentence,andWilliam,whohadtoldherthenews,didnotknowwhetherhewouldhavebeenmoreorlesspleasedifshehadfinishedit. Cyrilreceivedtheinformationmoodily,andlapsedatonceintoafitofabstractionfromwhichherousedhimselfhardlyenoughtoofferperfunctorycongratulationsandbestwishes. BillywasalittlepuzzledatCyril’sbehavior.ShehadbeensureforsometimethatCyrilhadceasedtocarespeciallyforher,evenifheeverdidfancythathelovedher.Shehadhopedtokeephimforafriend,butoflateshehadbeenforcedtoquestionevenhisfriendliness.Hehad,infact,gonebackalmosttohisoldreserveandtaciturnaloofness. FromtheWest,inresponsetoWilliam’snewsoftheengagement,cameacordiallypleasednoteinKate’sscrawlinghandwriting. Kate,indeed,seemedtobetheonlymemberofthefamilywhowasgenuinelydelightedwiththecomingmarriage.AstoBertram—— Bertramappearedtohaveagedyearsinasinglenight,sodrawnandwhitewashisfacethemorningafterWilliamhadtoldhimhisplans. WilliamhaddreadedmostofalltotellBertram.HewasverysurethatBertramhimselfcaredforBilly;anditwasdoublyhardbecauseinWilliam’sownmindwasastrongconvictionthattheyoungermanwasdecidedlytheoneforher.Realizing,however,thatBertrammustbetold,WilliamchoseatimeforthetellingwhenBertramwassmokinginhisdeninthetwilight,withhisfacehalfhiddenfromsight. Bertramsaidlittle——verylittle,thatnight;butinthemorninghewentstraighttoBilly. Billywasshocked.Shehadneverseenthesmiling,self—reliant,debonairBertramlikethis. \"Billy,isthistrue?\"hedemanded.ThedullmiseryinhisvoicetoldBillythatheknewtheanswerbeforeheaskedthequestion. \"Yes,yes;but,Bertram,please——pleasedon’ttakeitlikethis!\" sheimplored. \"Howwouldyouhavemetakeit?\" \"Why,just——justsensibly.YouknowItoldyouthat——thattheothernevercouldbe——never.\" \"IknowYOUsaidso;butI——believedotherwise.\" \"ButItoldyou——Ididnotloveyou——thatway.\" Bertramwinced.Herosetohisfeetabruptly. \"Iknowyoudid,Billy.I’mafool,ofcourse,tothinkthatI couldever——changeit.Ishouldn’thavecomehere,either,thismorning.ButI——hadto.Good—by!\"Hisface,asheheldouthishand,wastragicwithrenunciation. \"Why,Bertram,youaren’tgoing——now——likethis!\"criedthegirl. \"You’vejustcome!\" Themanturnedalmostimpatiently. \"AnddoyouthinkIcanstay——likethis?Billy,won’tyousaygood—by?\"heaskedinasoftervoice,againwithoutstretchedhand. Billyshookherhead.Sheignoredthehand,andresolutelybackedaway. \"No,notlikethat.Youareangrywithme,\"shegrieved. \"Besides,youmakeitsoundasif——ifyouweregoingaway.\" \"Iamgoingaway.\" \"Bertram!\"TherewasterroraswellasdismayinBilly’svoice. Againthemanturnedsharply. \"Billy,whyareyoumakingthisthingsohardforme?\"heaskedindespair.\"Can’tyouseethatImustgo?\" \"Indeed,Ican’t.Andyoumustn’tgo,either.Thereisn’tanyreasonwhyyoushould,\"urgedBilly,talkingveryfast,andworkingherfingersnervously.\"Thingsarejustthesameastheywerebefore——foryou.I’mjustgoingtomarryWilliam,butIwasn’tevergoingtomarryyou,sothatdoesn’tchangethingsanyforyou. Don’tyousee?Why,Bertram,youmustn’tgoaway!Therewon’tbeanybodyleft.Cyril’sgoingnextweek,youknow;andifyougotherewon’tbeanybodyleftbutWilliamandme.Bertram,youmustn’tgo;don’tyousee?Ishouldfeellostwithout——you!\" Billywasalmostcryingnow. Bertramlookedupquickly.Anoddchangehadcometohisface. ForamomenthegazedsilentlyintoBilly’sagitatedcountenance; thenheaskedinalowvoice: \"Billy,didyouthinkthatafteryouandWilliamweremarriedI shouldstillcontinuetoliveat——theStrata?\" \"Why,ofcourseyouwill!\"criedthegirl,indignantly.\"Why,Bertram,you’llbemybrotherthen——myrealbrother;andoneoftheverychiefestthingsI’manticipatingwhenIgotheretoliveisthegoodtimesyouandIwillhavetogetherwhenI’mWilliam’swife!\" Bertramdrewinhisbreathaudibly,andcaughthislowerlipbetweenhisteeth.Withanabruptmovementheturnedhisbackandwalkedtothewindow.Forafullminutehestayedthere,watchedbytheamazed,displeasedeyesofthegirl.WhenhecamebackhesatdownquietlyinthechairfacingBilly.Hiscountenancewasgraveandhiseyeswerealittletroubled;butthehaggardlookofmiserywasquitegone. \"Billy,\"hebegangently,\"youmustforgivemysayingthis,but—— areyouquitesureyou——loveWilliam?\" Billyflushedwithanger. \"Youhavenorighttoasksuchaquestion.OfcourseIloveWilliam.\" \"Ofcourseyoudo——weallloveWilliam.Williamis,infact,amostlovableman.ButWilliam’swifeshould,perhaps,lovehimalittledifferentlyfrom——allofus.\" \"Andshewill,certainly,\"retortedthegirl,withaquickliftingofherchin.\"Bertram,Idon’tthinkyouhaveanyrightto——tomakesuchinsinuations.\" \"AndIwon’tmakethemanymore,\"repliedBertram,gravely.\"I justwantedyoutomakesurethatyou——knew.\" \"Ishallmakesure,andIshallknow,\"saidBilly,firmly——sofirmlythatitsoundedalmostasifsheweretryingtoconvinceherselfaswellasothers. Therewasalongpause,thenthemanaskeddiffidently: \"Andsoyouareverysurethat——thatyouwantmeto——stay?\" \"IndeedIdo!Besides,——don’tyouremember?——thereareallmypeopletobeentertained.Theymustbetakentoplaces,andgivenmotorridesandpicnics.Youtoldmelastweekthatyou’dlovetohelpme;but,ofcourse,ifyoudon’twantto——\" \"ButIdowantto,\"criedBertram,heartily,agleamoftheoldcheerfulnessspringingtohiseyes.\"I’mdyingto!\" Thegirllookedupwithquickdistrust.Foramomentsheeyedhimwithbentbrows.Tohermindhehadgonebacktohisoldairy,hopefullight—heartedness.Hewasoncemore\"onlyBertram.\"Shehesitated,thensaidwithsterndecision: \"Bertram,youknowIwantyou,andyoumustknowthatI’mdelightedtohaveyoudropthissillynotionofgoingaway.Butifthisquickchangemeansthatyouarestayingwithanyideathat——that_I_shallchange,then——thenyoumustgo.ButifyouwillstayasWILLIAM’SBROTHERthen——I’llbemorethangladtohaveyou.\" \"I’llstay——asWilliam’sbrother,\"agreedBertram;andBillydidnotnoticethequickindrawingofhisbreathnorthecloseshuttingofhislipsafterthewordswerespoken. CHAPTERXXXVIII THEENGAGEMENTOFTWO BythemiddleofJulytheroutineofBilly’sdayswaswellestablished.Mariehadbeenforaweekawelcomeadditiontothefamily,andshewasprovingtobeofinvaluableaidinentertainingBilly’sguests.Theoverworkedwidowandthelittlelodging—housekeeperfromtheWestEndwereenjoyingBilly’shospitalitynow;andjusttolookattheirbeamingcountenanceswasaninspiration,Billysaid. Cyrilhadgoneabroad.AuntHannahwasspendingaweekattheNorthShorewithfriends.Bertram,truetohispromise,wasplayingthegallanttoBilly’sguests;andsoassiduouswasheinhisattentionsthatBillyatlastremonstratedwithhim. \"ButIdidn’tmeanthemtotakeALLyourtime,\"sheprotested. \"Don’ttheylikeit?Dotheyseetoomuchofme?\"hedemanded. \"No,no!Theyloveit,ofcourse.Youmustknowthat.Nobodyelsecouldgivesuchbeautifultimesasyou’vegivenus.Butit’syourselfI’mthinkingof.You’regivingupallyourtime. Besides,Ididn’tmeantokeepyouhereallsummer,ofcourse.Youalwaysgoawaysome,youknow,foravacation.\" \"ButI’mhavingavacationhere,doingthis,\"laughedBertram. \"I’msureI’mgettingseaairdowntothebeachesandmountainairouttotheBlueHills.Andasforexcitement——ifyoucanfindanythingmorewildlyexcitingthanitwasyesterdaywhenMissMarieandItookthewidowandthespinsterladyontheRoller—coaster—— justshowittome;that’sall!\" Billylaughed. \"Theytoldmeaboutit——Marieinparticular.Shesaidyouwerelovelytothem,andletthemdoeverysinglethingtheywantedto; andthathalfanhouraftertheygottheretheywereliketwochildrenletoutofschool.Dearme,IwishI’dgone.IneverstayathomethatIdon’tmisssomething,\"shefinishedregretfully. Bertramshruggedhisshoulders. \"Ifit’sRoller—coastersandChute—the—chutesthatyouwant,I fancyyou’llgetenoughbeforetheweekisout,\"hesighedlaughingly.\"Theysaidthey’dliketogothereto—morrow,please,whenIaskedthemwhatweshoulddonext.Whatsurprisesmeisthattheylikesuchthings——suchhair—raisingthings.WhenIfirstsawthem,black—gownedandstiff—backed,sittinginyourlittleroomhere,IthoughtIshouldneverdareofferthemanythingmorewildlyexcitingthanachurchserviceoralectureonpsychology,withperhapsabandconcerthintedat,providedthebandcouldbeproperlyinstructedbeforehandastotempoandselections.Butnow——really,Billy,whydoyousupposetheyhavetakensuchafancytothesekiddishstunts——thosetwostaidwomen?\" Billylaughed,buthereyessoftened. \"Idon’tknowunlessit’sbecausealltheirlivesthey’vebeentiedtosuchdeadmonotonythatjusttheexhilarationofmotionisblisstothem.Butyouwon’talwayshavetoriskyourneckandyourtemperinthisfashion,Bertram.NextweekmylittlecouplefromSouthBostoncomes.Sheadorespicturesandstuffedanimals. You’llhavetodothemuseumswithher.Thenthere’slittlecrippledTommy——he’llbeperfectlycontentedifyou’llputhimdownwherehecanhearthebandplay.Andallyou’llhavetodowhenthatonestopsistopilothimtothenextone.ThisISgoodofyou,Bertram,andIdothankyouforit,\"finishedBilly,fervently,justasMarie,thewidow,andthe\"spinsterlady\"enteredtheroom. Billytoldherselfthesedaysthatshewasveryhappy——veryhappyindeed.Wasshenotengagedtoagoodman,anddidshenotalsohaveitinherpowertomakethelongsummerdaysapleasuretomanypeople?Thefactthatshehadtotellherselfthatshewashappyinordertoconvinceherselfthatshewasso,didnotoccurtoBilly——yet. NotlongafterMariearrived,Billytoldheroftheengagement. Williamwasatthehouseveryfrequently,andowingtotheintimacyofMarie’srelationshipwiththefamilyBillydecidedtotellherhowmattersstood.Marie’sreceptionofthenewswassomewhatsurprising.Firstshelookedfrightened. \"ToWilliam?——youareengagedtoWilliam?\" \"Why——yes.\" \"ButIthought——surelyitwas——don’tyoumean——Mr.Cyril?\" \"No,Idon’t,\"laughedBilly.\"AndcertainlyIoughttoknow.\" \"Andyoudon’t——careforhim?\" \"Ihopenot——ifI’mgoingtomarryWilliam.\" SolightwasBilly’svoiceandmannerthatMariedaredonemorequestion. \"Andhe——doesn’tcare——foryou?\" \"Ihopenot——ifWilliamisgoingtomarryme,\"laughedBillyagain. \"Oh—h!\"breathedMarie,withanoddintonationofrelief.\"ThenI’mglad——soglad!AndIhopeyou’llbevery,veryhappy,dear.\" BillylookedintoMarie’sglowingfaceandwaspleased:thereseemedtobesofew,soveryfewfacesintowhichshehadlookedandfoundentireapprobationofherengagementtoWilliam. BillysawagreatdealofWilliamnow.Hewasalwayskindandconsiderate,andhetriedtohelpherentertainherguests;butBilly,gratefulasshewastohimforhisefforts,wasrelievedwhenheresignedhisplacetoBertram.Bertramdid,indeed,knowsomuchbetterhowtodoit.Williamtriedtohelpher,too,abouttraininghervinesandrosebushes;butofcourse,eveninthis,hecouldnotbeexpectedtoshowquitetheinterestthatBertrammanifestedineverygreenshootandopeningbud,forhehadnothelpedherplantthem,asBertramhad. Billywasalittletroubledsometimes,thatshedidnotfeelmoreateasewithWilliam.Shethoughtitnaturalthatsheshouldfeelalittlediffidentwithhim,inthefaceofhissuddenchangefroman\"uncle\"toanacceptedlover;butshedidnotseewhysheshouldbeafraidofhim——yetshewas.Sheownedthattoherselfunhappily. Andhewassogood!——sheownedthat,too.Heseemednottohaveathoughtintheworldbutforhercomfortandhappiness;andtherewasnoendtothetactfullittlethingshewasalwaysdoingforherpleasure.Heseemed,also,tohavedivinedthatshedidnotliketobekissedandcaressed;andonlyoccasionallydidhekissher,andthenitwasmerelyasortoffatherlysaluteonherforehead——forwhichconsiderationBillywasgrateful:Billydecidedthatshewouldnotliketobekissedonthelips. AftersomedaysofpuzzlingoverthematterBillyconcludedthatitwasself—consciousnessthatcausedallthetrouble.WithWilliamshewasself—conscious.IfshecouldonlyforgetthatshewassomedaytobeWilliam’swife,theolddelightfulcomradeshipwouldreturn,andshewouldbeateaseagainwithhim.Intime,aftershehadbecomeaccustomedtotheideaofmarriage,itwouldnotsoconfuseher,ofcourse.Shelovedhimdearly,andshewantedtomakehimhappy;butforthepresent——justwhileshewas\"gettingusedtothings\"——shewouldtrytoforget,sometimes,thatshewasgoingtobeWilliam’swife. Billywashappiernow.Shewasalwayshappieraftershehadthoughtthingsouttoherownsatisfaction.Sheturnedwithnewzesttotheentertainmentofherguests;andwithBertramsheplannedmanydelightfultripsfortheirpleasure.Bertramwasagreatcomforttoherthesedays.Never,inwordorlook,couldsheseethatheoversteppedtherolewhichhehadpromisedtoplay—— William’sbrother. Billywentbacktohermusic,too.Anewmelodywasrunningthroughherhead,andshelongedtoputitonpaper.Alreadyherfirstlittle\"GroupofSongs\"hadfoundfriends,andBilly,toaverymodestextent,wasbeginningtotastethesweetsoffame. Thus,byalltheseinterests,didBillytry\"togetusedtothings.\" CHAPTERXXXIX ALITTLEPIECEOFPAPER OfallBilly’sguests,Mariewasveryplainlythehappiest.Shewasapermanentguest,itistrue,whiletheotherscameforonlyaweekortwoatatime;butitwasnotthis,Billydecided,thathadbroughtsobrilliantasparkletoMarie’seyes,sojoyousalaughtoherlips.Thejoyousnesswasallthemorenoticeable,becauseheretoforeMarie,whileverysweet,hadbeenalsosad.Herbigblueeyeshadalwayscarriedahauntingshadow,andherstephadlackedthespringbelongingtoyouthandhappiness.Certainly,Billyhadneverseenherlikethisbefore. \"Verily,Marie,\"sheteasedoneday,\"haveyoufoundanexhaustlesssupplyofstockingstomend,oranever—donepuddingtomake—— which?\" \"Why?Whatdoyoumean?\" \"Oh,nothing.Iwasonlywonderingjustwhathadbroughtthatnewlighttoyoureyes.\" \"Isthereanewlight?\" \"Therecertainlyis.\" \"ItmustbebecauseI’msohappy,then,\"sighedMarie;\"becauseyou’resogoodtome.\" \"Isthatall?\" \"Isn’tthatenough?\"Marie’stonewasevasive. \"No.\"Billyshookherheadmischievously.\"Marie,whatisit?\" \"It’snothing——really,it’snothing,\"protestedMarie,hurryingoutoftheroomwithanervouslaugh. Billyfrowned.Shewassuspiciousbefore;shewassurenow.Inlessthantwelvehours’timecameheropportunity.ShewasaloneagainwithMarie. \"Marie,whoishe?\"sheaskedabruptly. \"He?Who?\" \"Themanwhoistowearthestockingsandeatthepudding.\" Thelittlemusicteacherflushedveryred,butshemanagedtodisplaysomethingthatmightpassforsurprise. \"BILLY!\" \"Come,dear,\"coaxedBilly,winningly.\"Tellmeaboutit.I’msointerested!\" \"Butthereisn’tanythingtotell——reallythereisn’t.\" \"Whoishe?\" \"Heisn’tanybody——thatis,hedoesn’tknowhe’sanybody,\"amendedMarie. Billylaughedsoftly. \"Oh,doesn’the!Hasn’theevershown——thathecared?\" \"No;thatis——perhapshehas,onlyIthoughtthen——thatitwas—— anothergirl.\" \"Anothergirl!Sothere’sanothergirlinthecase?\" \"Yes.Imean,no,\"correctedMarie,suddenlybeginningtorealizewhatshewassaying.\"Really,itwasn’tanything——itisn’tanything!\"sheprotested. \"Hm—m,\"murmuredBilly,archly.\"Oh,I’mgettingonsome!Hedidshow,once,thathecared;butyouthoughtitwasanothergirl,andyoucoldlylookedtheotherway.Now,thereISN’Tanyothergirl,youfind,and——Marie,tellmetherest!\" Marieshookherheademphatically,andpulledherselfgentlyawayfromBilly’sgrasp. \"No,no,please!\"shebegged.\"Itreallyisn’tanything.I’msureI’mimaginingitall!\"shecried,assheranaway. Duringthedaysthatfollowed,BillyspeculatednotalittleonMarie’shalf—toldstory,andwonderedinterestedlywhothemanmightbe.ShequestionedMarieonceagain,butthegirlwouldtellnothingmore;and,indeed,Billywassooccupiedwithherownperplexitiesthatshehadlittletimeforthoseofotherpeople. ToherselfBillywasforcedtoownthatshewasnot\"gettingusedtothings.\"Shewasstillself—consciouswithWilliam;shecouldnotforgetthatshewasonedaytobehiswife.Shecouldnotbringbackthedearoldfreedomofcomradeshipwithhim. Billywasalarmednow.Shehadbeguntoaskherselfsearchingquestions.Whatshouldshedoifnever,nevershouldshegetusedtotheideaofmarryingWilliam?Howcouldshemarryhimifhewasstill\"UncleWilliam,\"andneverherdearloverinhereyes?Whyhadshenotbeenwiseenoughandbraveenoughtotellhiminthefirstplacethatshewasnotatallsurethatshelovedhim,butthatshewouldtrytodoso?Thenwhenshehadtried——asshehadnow——andfailed,shecouldhavetoldhimhonestlythetruth,anditwouldnothavebeensogreatashocktohimasitmustbenow,ifsheshouldtellhim. Billyhadremorsefullycometotheconclusionthatshecouldneverloveanymanwellenoughtomarryhim,whenonedaysosmallathingasapieceofpaperflutteredintohervision,andshowedherthefallacyofthatidea. Itwasahalf—sheetofnotepaper,anditblewfromMarie’sbalconytothelawnbelow.Billyfoundittherelater,andasshepickedituphereyesfellonasinglenameinMarie’shandwritinginscribedhalfadozentimesasifthewriterhadmusinglyaccompaniedherthoughtswithherpen;andthenamewas,\"MarieHenshaw.\" ForamomentBillystaredatthenameperplexedly——theninaflashcametheremembranceofMarie’swords;andBillybreathed: \"Henshaw!——theman——BERTRAM!\" Billydroppedthepaperthenandfled.Inherownroom,behindlockeddoors,shesatdowntothink. Bertram!ItwasheforwhomMariecared——HERBertram!AndthenitcametoBillywithstaggeringforcethathewasnotHERBertramatall.HenevercouldbeherBertramnow.Hewas——Marie’s. Billywasfrightenedthen,sofiercewasthisstrangenewsomethingthatrosewithinher——thisoverpoweringsomethingthatseemedtoblotoutalltheworld,andleaveonly——Bertram.Sheknewthen,thatithadalwaysbeenBertramtowhomshehadturned,thoughshehadbeenblindtothecauseofthatturning.Alwaysherplanshadincludedhim.Alwaysshehadbeenthehappiestinhispresence; neverhadshepicturedhimanywhereelsebutatherside. Certainlyneverhadshepicturedhimasthedevotedloverofanotherwoman!Andshehadnotknownwhatitallmeant—— poorblindchildthatshewas! VeryresolutelynowBillysetherselftolookingmatterssquarelyintheface.Sheunderstooditquitewell.AllsummerMarieandBertramhadbeenthrowntogether.NowonderMariehadfalleninlovewithBertram,andthathe——BillythoughtshecomprehendednowwhyBertramhadfounditsoeasyforthelastfewweekstobeWilliam’sbrother.She,ofcourse,hadbeenthe\"othergirl\"whomMariehadoncefearedthatthemanloved.Itwasallsoclear——sowoefullyclear! WithanachingheartBillyaskedherselfwhatnowwastobedone. Forherself,turnwhicheverwayshecould,shecouldseenothingbutunhappiness.Shedetermined,therefore,withSpartanfortitude,thattonooneelsewouldshebringequalunhappiness. Shewouldbesilent.BertramandMarielovedeachother.Thatmatterwassettled.AstoWilliam——BillythoughtofthestoryWilliamhadtoldherofhislonelylife,——ofthepleahehadmadetoher;andherheartached.Whateverhappened,Williammustbemadehappy.Williammustnotbetold.HerpromisetoWilliammustbekept. CHAPTERXL WILLIAMPAYSAVISIT BeforeSeptemberpassedallBilly’sfriendssaidthathersummer’sself—appointedtaskhadbeentoohardforher.Innootherwaycouldtheyaccountforthesadchangethathadcometoher. UndeniablyBillylookedreallyill.Alwaysslender,shewasshadow—likenow.Hereyeshadfoundagainthewistfulappealofhergirlhood,onlynowtheycarriedsomethingthatwasalmostfear,aswell.Therose—flushhadgonefromhercheeks,andpatheticlittlehollowshadappeared,makingtheroundyoungchinbelowlookalmostpointed.CertainlyBillydidseemtobeill. LateinSeptemberWilliamwentWestonbusiness.Incidentallyhecalledtoseehissister,Kate. \"Well,andhowiseverybody?\"askedKate,cheerily,afterthegreetingswereover. Williamsighed. \"Well,’everybody,’tome,Kate,isprettybadlyoff.We’reworriedaboutBilly.\" \"Billy!Youdon’tmeanshe’ssick?Why,she’salwaysbeenthepictureofhealth!\" \"Iknowshehas;butsheisn’tnow.\" \"What’sthetrouble?\" \"That’swhatwedon’tknow.\" \"You’vehadthedoctor?\" \"Ofcourse;twoorthreeofthem——thoughmuchagainstBilly’swill. But——theydidn’thelpus.\" \"Whatdidtheysay?\" \"Theycouldfindnothingexceptperhapsalittletemporarystomachtrouble,orsomethingofthatkind,whichtheyallagreedwasnojustcauseforherpresentcondition.\" \"Butwhatdidtheysayitwas?\" \"Why,theysaiditseemedlikenervousness,orasifsomethingwastroublingher.Theyaskedifsheweren’tundersomesortofstrain.\" \"Well,isshe?Doesanythingtroubleher?\" \"NotthatIknowof.Anyhow,ifthereisanything,noneofuscanfindoutwhatitis.\" Katefrowned.Shethrewaquicklookintoherbrother’sface. \"William,\"shebeganhesitatingly,\"forgiveme,but——Billyisquitehappyin——herengagement,Isuppose.\" Themanflushedpainfully,andsighed. \"I’vethoughtofthat,ofcourse.Infact,itwasthefirstthingIdidthinkof.Ievenbegantowatchherratherclosely,andonceI——questionedheralittle.\" \"Whatdidshesay?\" \"SheseemedsofrightenedanddistressedthatIdidn’tsaymuchmyself.Icouldn’t.Ihadbutjustbegunwhenhereyesfilledwithtears,andsheaskedmeinafrightenedlittlevoiceifshehaddoneanythingtodispleaseme,anythingtomakemeunhappy;andsheseemedsoanxiousandgrievedanddismayedthatIshouldevenquestionher,thatIhadtostop.\" \"Whathasshedonethissummer?Wherehasshebeen?\" \"Shehasn’tbeenanywhere.Didn’tIwriteyou?She’skeptopenhouseforalotofherlessfortunatefriends——asortofvacationhome,youknow;and——andImustsayshe’sgiventhemaworldofhappiness,too.\" \"Butwasn’tthathardforher?\" \"Itdidn’tseemtobe.Sheappearedtoenjoyitimmensely,particularlyatfirst.Ofcourseshehadplentyofhelp,andthatwonderfullittleMissHawthornhasbeenahostinherself.They’reallgonenow,anyway,exceptMissHawthorn.\" \"ButBillymusthavehadthecareandtheexcitement.\" \"Perhaps——toacertainextent.Thoughnotmuch,afterall.YouseeBertram,too,hasgivenuphissummertothem,andhasbeenplayingthedevotedescorttothewholebunch.Indeed,forthelastfewweeksofit,sinceBillybegantoseemsoill,heandMissHawthornhaveschemedtotakeallthecarefromBilly,andtheyhavedonethewholethingtogether.\" \"ButwhatHASBillydonetomakeherlikethis?\" \"Idon’tknow.She’sdonelotsforme,inallsortsofways—— cataloguingmycurios,youknow,andgoingwithmetohuntupthings.Infact,sheseemsthehappiestwhensheISdoingsomethingforme.It’scometobeasortofmaniawithher,I’mafraid——todosomethingforme.Kate,I’mreallyworried.Whatdoyousupposeisthematter?\" Kateshookherhead.Thepuzzledfrownhadcomebacktoherface. \"Ican’timagine,\"shebeganslowly.\"Ofcourse,whenItoldheryoulovedherand——\" \"Whenyoutoldherwha—at?\"explodedtheusuallylow—voicedWilliam,withsuddensharpness. \"WhenItoldherthatyoulovedher,William.Yousee,I——\" Williamsprangtohisfeet. \"ToldherthatIlovedher!\"hecried,aghast.\"Goodheavens,Kate,doyoumeantosaythatYOUtoldherTHAT.\" \"Why,y—yes.\" \"AndmayIaskwhereyougotyourinformation?\" \"Why,WilliamHenshaw,whataquestion!Igotitfromyourself,ofcourse,\"defendedKate. \"FromME!\"William’sfaceexpressedsheeramazement. \"Certainly;onthatdrivewhenIwasEastinJune,\"returnedKate,withdignity.\"YOUevidentlyhaveforgottenit,butIhavenot. Youtoldmeveryfranklyhowmuchyouthoughtofher,andhowyoulongedtohaveherbacktherewithyou,butthatshedidn’tseemtobereadytocome.Iwassorryforyou,andIwantedtodosomethingtohelp,particularlyasitmighthavebeenmyfault,partly,thatshewentaway,inthefirstplace.\" Williamliftedhishead. \"Whatdoyoumean?\" \"Why,nothing,onlythatI——Itoldheralittleofhow——howupsettingherarrivalhadbeentoeverything,andofhowmuchyouhaddoneforher,andputyourselfout.Isaiditsoshe’dappreciatethings,ofcourse,butshetookitquitedifferentlyfromwhatIhadintendedsheshouldtakeit,andseemedquitecutupaboutit.Thenshewentawayinthatwily,impulsivefashion.\" Williambithislip,buthedidnotspeak.Katewasplungingonfeverishly,andinthefaceofthegreaterrevelationheletthelesseronedrop. \"Andsothat’swhyIwasparticularlyanxioustobringthingsaroundrightagain,\"continuedKate.\"Andthat’swhyIspoke.I thoughtI’dseenhowthingswere,andonthedriveIsaidso.TheniswhenIadvisedyoutospeaktoBilly;butyoudeclaredthatBillywasn’tready,andthatyoucouldn’tmakeagirlmarryagainstherwill.NOWdon’tyourecollectit?\" AgreatlightofunderstandingbrokeoverWilliam’sface.Hestartedtospeak,butsomethingevidentlystayedthewordsonhislips.Withcontrolleddeliberationheturnedandsatdown.Thenhesaid: \"Kate,willyoukindlytellmejustwhatyouDIDdo?\" \"Why,Ididn’tdosoverymuch.Ijusttriedtohelp,that’sall. AfterItalkedwithyou,andadvisedyoutoaskBillyrightawaytomarryyou,Iwenttoher.Ithoughtshecaredforyoualready,anyway;butIjustwantedtotellherhowverymuchitwastoyou,andsosortofpavetheway.AndnowcomesthepartthatIstartedtotellyoualittlewhileagowhenyoucaughtmeupsosharply.I wasgoingtosaythatwhenItoldBillythis,sheappearedtobesurprised,andalmostfrightened.Yousee,shehadn’tknownyoucaredforher,afterall,andsoIhadachancetohelpandmakeitplaintoherhowyoudidloveher,sothatwhenyouspokeeverythingwouldbeallright.There,that’sall.YouseeIdidn’tdosoverymuch.\" \"’Soverymuch’!\"groanedWilliam,startingtohisfeet.\"GreatScott!\" \"Why,William,whatdoyoumean?Whereareyougoing?\" \"I’mgoing——to——Billy,\"retortedWilliamwithslowdistinctness. \"AndI’mgoingtotrytogetthere——before——you——CAN!\"Andwiththisextraordinaryshot——forWilliam——heleftthehouse. WilliamwenttoBillyasfastassteamcouldcarryhim.Hefoundherinherlittledrawing—roomlistlesslywatchingwithAuntHannahthegameofchessthatBertramandMariewereplaying. \"Billy,youpoor,dearchild,comehere,\"hesaidabruptly,assoonastheexcitementofhisunexpectedarrivalhadpassed.\"Iwanttotalktoyou.\"Andheledthewaytotheverandawhichheknewwouldbesilentanddeserted. \"Totalkto——me?\"murmuredBilly,asshewonderinglycametohisside,astartledquestioninginherwidedarkeyes. CHAPTERXLI THECROOKEDMADESTRAIGHT Williamdidnotre—enterthehouseafterhistalkwithBillyontheveranda. \"Iwillgodownthestepsandaroundbytherosegardentothestreet,dear,\"hesaid.\"I’drathernotgoinnow.Justmakemyadieus,please,andsaythatIcouldn’tstayanylonger.Andnow—— good—by.\"Hiseyesastheylookeddownather,weremoistandverytender.Hislipstrembledalittle,buttheysmiled,andtherewasalookofnew—bornpeaceandjoyonhisface. Billy,too,wassmiling,thoughwistfully.Thefrightenedquestioninghadgonefromhereyes,leavingonlyinfinitetenderness. \"Youaresureit——itisallright——now?\"shestammered. \"Verysure,littlegirl;andit’sthefirsttimeithasbeenrightforweeks.Billy,thatwasverydearofyou,andIloveyouforit;butthinkhownear——howperilouslynearyoucametolifelongmisery!\" \"ButIthought——youwantedme——somuch,\"shesmiledshyly. \"AndIdid,andIdo——foradaughter.Youdon’tdoubtthatNOW?\" \"No,oh,no,\"laughedBilly,softly;andtoherfacecameahappylookofreliefasshefinished:\"AndI’llbesogladtobe——thedaughter!\" Forsomeminutesafterthemanhadgone,Billystoodbythestepswherehehadlefther.ShewasstilltherewhenBertramcametotheverandadoorandspoketoher. \"Billy,IsawWilliamgobythewindow,soIknewyouwerealone. MayIspeaktoyou?\" Thegirlturnedwithastart. \"Why,ofcourse!Whatisit?——butIthoughtyouwereplaying. WhereisMarie?\" \"Thegameisfinished;besides——Billy,whyareyoualwaysaskingmelatelywhereMarieis,asifIwereherkeeper,orshemine?\"hedemanded,withatouchofnervousirritation. \"Why,nothing,Bertram,\"smiledBilly,alittlewearily;\"onlythatyouwereplayingtogetherafewminutesago,andIwonderedwhereshehadgone.\" \"’Afewminutesago’!\"echoedBertramwithsuddenbitterness. \"Evidentlythetimepassedswiftlywithyou,Billy.WilliamwasouthereMOREthananhour.\" \"Why——Bertram!\" \"Yes,Iknow.I’venobusinesstosaythat,ofcourse,\"sighedtheman;\"but,Billy,that’swhyIcameout——becauseImustspeaktoyouthisonce.Won’tyoucomeandsitdown,please?\"heimploreddespairingly. \"Why,Bertram,\"murmuredBillyagain,faintly,assheturnedtowardthevine—shadedcornerandsatdown.Hereyeswerestartled.A swiftcolorhadcometohercheeks. \"Billy,\"begantheman,inasternlycontrolledvoice,\"pleaseletmespeakthisonce,anddon’ttrytostopme.Youmaythink,foramoment,thatit’sdisloyaltoWilliamifyoulisten;butitisn’t. There’sthismuchduetome——thatyouletmespeaknow.Billy,I can’tstandit.I’vetried,butit’snouse.I’vegottogoaway,andit’srightthatIshould.I’mnottheonlyonethatthinksso,either.Mariedoes,too.\" \"MARIE!\" \"Yes.Italkeditalloverwithher.She’sknownforalongtimehowit’sbeenwithme;howIcared——foryou.\" \"Marie!You’vetoldMariethat?\"gaspedBilly. \"Yes.Surelyyoudon’tmindMarie’sknowing,\"wentonBertram,dejectedly.\"Andshe’sbeensogoodtome,andtriedto——helpme.\" BertramwasnotlookingatBillynow.Ifhehadbeenhewouldhaveseentheincredulousjoycomeintoherface.Hiseyesweremoodilyfixedonthefloor. \"Andso,Billy,I’vecometotellyou.I’mgoingaway,\"hecontinued,afteramoment.\"I’vegottogo.Ithoughtonce,whenIfirsttalkedwithyouofWilliam,thatyoudidn’tknowyourownheart;thatyoudidn’treallycareforhim.Iwasevenfoolenoughtothinkthat——thatitwouldbeItowhomyou’dturn——someday. AndsoIstayed.ButIstayedhonorably,Billy!YOUknowthat! YouknowthatIhaven’tonceforgotten——notonce,thatIwasonlyWilliam’sbrother.IpromisedyouI’dbethat——andIhavebeen; haven’tI?\" Billynoddedsilently.Herfacewasturnedaway. \"But,Billy,Ican’tdoitanylonger.I’vegottoaskformypromiseback,andthen,ofcourse,Ican’tstay.\" \"Butyou——youdon’thavetogo——away,\"murmuredthegirl,faintly. Bertramsprangtohisfeet.Hisfacewaswhite. \"Billy,\"hecried,standingtallandstraightbeforeher,\"Billy,I loveeverytouchofyourhand,everyglanceofyoureye,everywordthatfallsfromyourlips.DoyouthinkIcanstay——now?Iwantmypromiseback!WhenI’mnolongerWilliam’sbrother——thenI’llgo!\" \"Butyoudon’thavetohaveitback——thatis,youdon’thavetohaveitatall,\"stammeredBilly,flushingadorably.She,too,wasonherfeetnow. \"Billy,whatdoyoumean?\" \"Don’tyousee?I——IHAVEturned,\"shefalteredbreathlessly,holdingoutbothherhands. Eventhen,inspiteofthegreatlightthatleapedtohiseyes,Bertramadvancedonlyasinglestep. \"But——William?\"hequestioned,unbelievingly. \"ItWASamistake,justasyouthought.Weknownow——bothofus. Wedon’teitherofuscarefortheother——thatway.And——Bertram,IthinkitHASbeenyou——allthetime,onlyIdidn’tknow!\" \"Billy,Billy!\"chokedBertraminavoiceshakenwithemotion.Heopenedhisarmsthen,wide——andBillywalkedstraightintothem. CHAPTERXLII THE\"ENDOFTHESTORY\" ItwastwodaysafterBilly’snewhappinesshadcometoherthatCyrilcamehome.HewentverysoontoseeBilly. Thegirlwassurprisedatthechangeinhisappearance.Hehadgrownthinandhaggardlooking,andhiseyesweresomber.Hemovedrestlesslyabouttheroomforatime,finallyseatinghimselfatthepianoandlettinghisfingersslipfromonemournfullittlemelodytoanother.Then,withadiscordantcrash,heturned. \"Billy,doyouthinkanygirlwouldmarry——me?\"hedemanded. \"Why,Cyril!\" \"There,now,pleasedon’tbeginthat,\"hebeggedfretfully.\"I realize,ofcourse,thatI’maveryunlikelysubjectformatrimony. Youmademeunderstandthatclearlyenoughlastwinter!\" \"Last——winter?\" Cyrilraisedhiseyebrows. \"Oh,Icametoyouforalittleencouragement,andtomakeaconfession,\"hesaid.\"Imadetheconfession——butIdidn’tgettheencouragement.\" Billychangedcolor.Shethoughtsheknewwhathemeant,butatthesametimeshecouldn’tunderstandwhyheshouldwishtorefertothatconversationnow. \"A——confession?\"sherepeated,hesitatingly. \"Yes.ItoldyouthatI’dbeguntodoubtmybeingsuchawoman— hater,afterall.IintimatedthatYOU’Dbegunthesofteningprocess,andthatthenI’dfoundacertainotheryoungwomanwhohad——well,whohadkeptupthegoodwork.\" \"Oh!\"criedBillysuddenly,withapeculiarintonation.\"Oh—h!\" Thenshelaughedsoftly. \"Well,thatwastheconfession,\"resumedCyril.\"ThenIcameoutflat—footedandsaidthatIwantedtomarryher——butthereiswhereIdidn’tgettheencouragement!\" \"Indeed!I’mafraidIwasn’tveryconsiderate,\"stammeredBilly. \"No,youweren’t,\"agreedCyril,moodily.\"Ididn’tknowbutnow——\" hisvoicesoftenedalittle——\"withthisnewhappinessofyoursandBertram’sthat——youmightfindalittleencouragementforme.\" \"AndIwill,\"criedBilly,promptly.\"Tellmeabouther.\" \"Idid——lastwinter,\"reproachedtheman,\"andyouweresureIwasdeceivingmyself.YoudrewthegloomiestsortofpictureofthemiseryIwouldtakewithawife.\" \"Idid?\"Billywaslaughingverymerrilynow. \"Yes.Yousaidshe’dalwaysbetalkingandlaughingwhenIwantedtobequiet,andthatshe’dwanttodragmeouttopartiesandplayswhenIwantedtostayathome;and——oh,lotsofthings.I triedtomakeitcleartoyouthat——thatthislittlewomanwasn’tthatsort.ButIcouldn’t,\"finishedCyril,gloomily. \"Butofcoursesheisn’t,\"declaredBilly,withquicksympathy. \"I——Ididn’tknow——WHAT——Iwas——talkingabout,\"sheaddedwithemphaticdistinctness.ThenshesmiledtothinkhowlittleCyrilknewhowverytruethosewordswere.\"Tellmeabouther,\"shebeggedagain.\"Iknowshemustbeverylovelyandbrilliant,andofcourseawonderfulmusician.YOUcouldn’tchooseanyoneelse!\" TohersurpriseCyrilturnedabruptlyandbegantoplayagain.A nervouslittlestaccatoscherzofellfromhisfingers,butitdroppedalmostatonceintoaquietermelody,andendedwithsomethingthatsoundedverymuchlikethelaststrainof\"Home,SweetHome.\"Thenhewheeledaboutonthepianostool. \"Billy,that’sexactlywhereyou’rewrong——IDON’Twantthatkindofwife.Idon’twantabrilliantone,and——now,Billy,thissoundslikehorribleheresy,Iknow,butit’strue——Idon’tcarewhethershecanplay,ornot;butIshouldpreferthatsheshouldn’tplay——much!\" \"Why,CyrilHenshaw!——andyou,withyourmusic!Asifyoucouldbecontentedwithawomanlikethat!\" \"Oh,Iwanthertolikemusic,ofcourse,\"modifiedCyril;\"butI don’tcaretohaveherMAKEit.Billy,doyouknow?You’lllaugh,ofcourse,butmypictureofawifeisalwaysonething:aroomwithatableandashadedlamp,andalittlewomanbesideitwiththelightonherhair,andagreat,basketofsewingbesideher. YouseeIAMdomestic!\"hefinishedalittledefiantly. \"Ishouldsayyouwere,\"laughedBilly.\"Andhaveyoufoundher?—— thislittlewomanwhoistodonothingbutsitandsewinthecircleoftheshadedlamp?\" \"Yes,I’vefoundher,butI’mnotatallsureshe’sfoundme. That’swhereIwantyourhelp.Oh,Idon’tmean,ofcourse,\"headded,\"thatshe’sgottositunderthatlampallthetime.It’sonlythat——thatIhopeshelikesthatsortofthing.\" \"And——doesshe?\" \"Yes;thatis,Ithinkshedoes,\"smiledCyril.\"Anyhow,shetoldmeoncethat——thatthethingsshelikedbesttodoinalltheworldweretomendstockingsandtomakepuddings.\" Billysprangtoherfeetwithalittlecry.Now,indeed,hadCyrilkepthispromiseandmade\"manythingsclear\"toher. \"Cyril,comehere,\"shecriedtremulously,leadingthewaytotheopenverandadoor.ThenextmomentCyrilwaslookingacrossthelawntothelittlesummerhouseinthemidstofBilly’srosegarden. InfullviewwithinthesummerhousesatMarie——sewing. \"Go,Cyril;she’swaitingforyou,\"smiledBilly,mistily.\"Thelight’sonlythesun,tobesure,andmaybethereisn’tawholebasketofsewingthere.But——SHE’Sthere!\" \"You’ve——guessed,then!\"breathedCyril. \"I’venotguessed——Iknow.And——it’sallright.\" \"Youmean——?\"OnlyCyril’spleadingeyesfinishedthequestion. \"Yes,I’msureshedoes,\"noddedBilly.Andthensheaddedunderherbreathasthemanpassedswiftlydownthesteps:\"’MarieHenshaw’indeed!So’twasCyrilallthetime——andneverBertram—— whowastheinspirationofthatbitofpapergive—away!\" WhensheturnedbackintotheroomshecamefacetofacewithBertram. \"Ispoke,dear,butyoudidn’thear,\"hesaid,ashehurriedforwardwithoutstretchedhands. \"Bertram,\"greetedBilly,withsurprisingirrelevance,\"’andtheyalllivedhappilyeverafter’——theyDID!Isn’tthatalwaystheendingtothestory——alovestory?\" \"Ofcourse,\"saidBertramwithemphasis;——\"OURlovestory!\" \"Andtheirs,\"supplementedBilly,softly;butBertramdidnothearthat.