第45章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hughes字数:4243更新时间:18/12/27 08:52:32
Arthurpressedhishand,andafteramoment’ssilencewenton,“Yousay,Tom,youwanttopleasetheDoctor。Now,doyouwanttopleasehimbywhathethinksyoudo,orbywhatyoureallydo?“ “BywhatIreallydo,ofcourse。“ “Doeshethinkyouusecribsandvulgus-books?“ Tomfeltatoncethathisflankwasturned,buthecouldn’tgivein。“HewasatWinchesterhimself,“saidhe;“heknowsallaboutit。“ “Yes;butdoeshethinkyouusethem?Doyouthinkheapprovesofit?“ “Youyoungvillain!“saidTom,shakinghisfistatArthur,halfvexedandhalfpleased,“Ineverthinkaboutit。Hangit! there,perhapshedon’t。Well,Isupposehedon’t。“ Arthursawthathehadgothispoint;heknewhisfriendwell,andwaswiseinsilenceasinspeech。Heonlysaid,“Iwouldsoonerhavethedoctor’sgoodopinionofmeasIreallyamthananyman’sintheworld。“ Afteranotherminute,Tombeganagain,“Lookhere,youngun。 HowonearthamItogettimetoplaythematchesthishalfifI giveupcribs?We’reinthemiddleofthatlongcrabbedchorusintheAgamemnon。Icanonlyjustmakeheadortailofitwiththecrib。Thenthere’sPericles’sspeechcomingoninThucydides,and’TheBirds’togetupfortheexamination,besidestheTacitus。“Tomgroanedatthethoughtofhisaccumulatedlabours。“Isay,youngun,there’sonlyfiveweeksorsolefttoholidays。Mayn’tIgoonasusualforthishalf? I’lltelltheDoctoraboutitsomeday,oryoumay。“ Arthurlookedoutofthewindow。Thetwilighthadcomeon,andallwassilent。Herepeatedinalowvoice:“InthisthingtheLordpardonthyservant,thatwhenmymastergoethintothehouseofRimmontoworshipthere,andheleanethonmyhand,andIbowdownmyselfinthehouseofRimmon,whenIbowdownmyselfinthehouseofRimmon,theLordpardonthyservantinthisthing。“ Notawordmorewassaidonthesubject,andtheboyswereagainsilent——oneofthoseblessed,shortsilencesinwhichtheresolveswhichcolouralifearesooftentaken。 Tomwasthefirsttobreakit。“You’vebeenveryillindeed,haven’tyou,Geordie?“saidhe,withamixtureofaweandcuriosity,feelingasifhisfriendhadbeen1nsomestrangeplaceorscene,ofwhichhecouldformnoidea,andfullofthememoryofhisownthoughtsduringthelastweek。 “Yes,very。I’msuretheDoctorthoughtIwasgoingtodie。HegavemetheSacramentlastSunday,andyoucan’tthinkwhatheiswhenoneisill。Hesaidsuchbrave,andtender,andgentlethingstome,Ifeltquitelightandstrongafterit,andneverhadanymorefear。Mymotherbroughtouroldmedicalman,whoattendedmewhenIwasapoorsicklychild。Hesaidmyconstitutionwasquitechanged,andthatI’mfitforanythingnow。Ifithadn’t,Icouldn’thavestoodthreedaysofthisillness。That’sallthankstoyou,andthegamesyou’vemademefondof。“ “MorethankstooldMartin,“saidTom;“he’sbeenyourrealfriend。“ “Nonsense,Tom;henevercouldhavedoneformewhatyouhave。“ “Well,Idon’tknow;Ididlittleenough。Didtheytellyou—— youwon’tmindhearingitnow,Iknow——thatpoorThompsondiedlastweek?Theotherthreeboysaregettingquiteround,likeyou。“ “Ohyes,Iheardofit。“ ThenTom,whowasquitefullofit,toldArthuroftheburial- serviceinthechapel,andhowithadimpressedhim,and,hebelieved,alltheotherboys。“AndthoughtheDoctorneversaidawordaboutit,“saidhe,“anditwasahalf-holidayandmatch- day,therewasn’tagameplayedintheclosealltheafternoon,andtheboysallwentaboutasifitwereSunday。“ “I’mverygladofit,“saidArthur。“But,Tom,I’vehadsuchstrangethoughtsaboutdeathlately。I’venevertoldasoulofthem,notevenmymother。SometimesIthinkthey’rewrong,but,doyouknow,Idon’tthinkinmyheartIcouldbesorryatthedeathofanyofmyfriends。“ Tomwastakenquiteaback。“Whatintheworldistheyoungunafternow?“thoughthe;“I’veswallowedagoodmanyofhiscrotchets,butthisaltogetherbeatsme。Hecan’tbequiterightinhishead。“Hedidn’twanttosayaword,andshiftedaboutuneasilyinthedark;however,Arthurseemedtobewaitingforananswer,soatlasthesaid,“Idon’tthinkIquiteseewhatyoumean,Geordie。One’stoldsooftentothinkaboutdeaththatI’vetrieditonsometimes,especiallythislastweek。Butwewon’ttalkofitnow。I’dbettergo。You’regettingtired,andIshalldoyouharm。“ “No,no;indeedIain’t,Tom。Youmuststoptillnine;there’sonlytwentyminutes。I’vesettledyoushallstoptillnine。 Andoh!doletmetalktoyou——Imusttalktoyou。Iseeit’sjustasIfeared。YouthinkI’mhalfmad。Don’tyou,now?“ “Well,Ididthinkitoddwhatyousaid,Geordie,asyouaskme。“ Arthurpausedamoment,andthensaidquickly,“I’lltellyouhowitallhappened。Atfirst,whenIwassenttothesick- room,andfoundIhadreallygotthefever,Iwasterriblyfrightened。IthoughtIshoulddie,andIcouldnotfaceitforamoment。Idon’tthinkitwassheercowardiceatfirst,butI thoughthowharditwastobetakenawayfrommymotherandsistersandyouall,justasIwasbeginningtoseemywaytomanythings,andtofeelthatImightbeamananddoaman’swork。Todiewithouthavingfought,andworked,andgivenone’slifeaway,wastoohardtobear。Igotterriblyimpatient,andaccusedGodofinjustice,andstrovetojustifymyself。AndtheharderIstrovethedeeperIsank。Thentheimageofmydearfatheroftencameacrossme,butIturnedfromit。Wheneveritcame,aheavy,numbingthrobseemedtotakeholdofmyheart,andsay,’Dead-dead-dead。’AndIcriedout,’Theliving,thelivingshallpraiseThee,OGod;thedeadcannotpraisethee。 Thereisnoworkinthegrave;inthenightnomancanwork。 ButIcanwork。Icandogreatthings。Iwilldogreatthings。 Whywiltthouslayme?’AndsoIstruggledandplunged,deeperanddeeper,andwentdownintoalivingblacktomb。Iwasalonethere,withnopowertostirorthink;alonewithmyself;beyondthereachofallhumanfellowship;beyondChrist’sreach,I thought,inmynightmare。You,whoarebraveandbrightandstrong,canhavenoideaofthatagony。PraytoGodyounevermay。Prayasforyourlife。“ Arthurstopped——fromexhaustion,Tomthought;butwhatbetweenhisfearlestArthurshouldhurthimself,hisawe,andhislongingforhimtogoon,hecouldn’task,orstirtohelphim。 Presentlyhewenton,butquitecalmandslow。“Idon’tknowhowlongIwasinthatstate——formorethanaday,Iknow;forIwasquiteconscious,andlivedmyouterlifeallthetime,andtookmymedicines,andspoketomymother,andheardwhattheysaid。ButIdidn’ttakemuchnoteoftime。Ithoughttimewasoverforme,andthatthattombwaswhatwasbeyond。Well,onlastSundaymorning,asIseemedtolieinthattomb,alone,asIthought,foreverandever,theblack,deadwallwascleftintwo,andIwascaughtupandbornethroughintothelightbysomegreatpower,someliving,mightyspirit。Tom,doyourememberthelivingcreaturesandthewheelsinEzekiel?Itwasjustlikethat。’Whentheywent,Iheardthenoiseoftheirwings,likethenoiseofgreatwaters,asthevoiceoftheAlmighty,thevoiceofspeech,asthenoiseofanhost;whentheystood,theyletdowntheirwings。’’Andtheywenteveryonestraightforward:whitherthespiritwastogo,theywent; andtheyturnednotwhentheywent。’Andwerushedthroughthebrightair,whichwasfullofmyriadsoflivingcreatures,andpausedonthebrinkofagreatriver。Andthepowerheldmeup,andIknewthatthatgreatriverwasthegrave,anddeathdweltthere,butnotthedeathIhadmetintheblacktomb。That,I felt,wasgoneforever。ForontheotherbankofthegreatriverIsawmenandwomenandchildrenrisinguppureandbright,andthetearswerewipedfromtheireyes,andtheyputongloryandstrength,andallwearinessandpainfellaway。 Andbeyondwereamultitudewhichnomancouldnumber,andtheyworkedatsomegreatwork;andtheywhorosefromtheriverwentonandjoinedinthework。Theyallworked,andeachworkedinadifferentway,butallatthesamework。AndIsawtheremyfather,andthemenintheoldtownwhomIknewwhenIwasachild——manyahard,sternman,whonevercametochurch,andwhomtheycalledatheistandinfidel。Theretheywere,sidebysidewithmyfather,whomIhadseentoilanddieforthem,andwomenandlittlechildren,andthesealwasontheforeheadsofall。AndIlongedtoseewhattheworkwas,andcouldnot;soI triedtoplungeintheriver,forIthoughtIwouldjointhem,butIcouldnot。ThenIlookedabouttoseehowtheygotintotheriver。AndthisIcouldnotsee,butIsawmyriadsonthisside,andtheytooworked,andIknewthatitwasthesamework,andthesamesealwasontheirforeheads。AndthoughIsawthattherewastoilandanguishintheworkofthese,andthatmostthatwereworkingwereblindandfeeble,yetIlongednomoretoplungeintotheriver,butmoreandmoretoknowwhattheworkwas。AndasIlookedIsawmymotherandmysisters,andIsawtheDoctor,andyou,Tom,andhundredsmorewhomIknew;andatlastIsawmyselftoo,andIwastoilinganddoingeversolittleapieceofthegreatwork。Thenitallmeltedaway,andthepowerleftme,andasitleftmeIthoughtIheardavoicesay,’Thevisionisforanappointedtime;thoughittarry,waitforit,forintheenditshallspeakandnotlie,itshallsurelycome,itshallnottarry。’ItwasearlymorningIknow,then——itwassoquietandcool,andmymotherwasfastasleepinthechairbymybedside;butitwasn’tonlyadreamofmine。 Iknowitwasn’tadream。ThenIfellintoadeepsleep,andonlywokeafterafternoonchapel;andtheDoctorcameandgavemetheSacrament,asItoldyou。ItoldhimandmymotherI shouldgetwell——IknewIshould;butIcouldn’ttellthemwhy。