第13章

类别:其他 作者:Henry Rider Haggard字数:3995更新时间:18/12/27 08:40:52
Thenineholeshadbeenplayed,andbyasinglestrokeBarbarahadwonthematch,whichpleasedherverymuch,forshehaddoneherbest,andwithsuchheavyoddsinhisfavourSirRobert,whohadalsodonehisbest,wasnomeanopponent,evenforaplayerofherskill。Indeedthefighthadbeenquiteearnest,foreachpartyknewthatitwasbutapreludetoanotherandmoreseriousfight,andlookedupontheresultasinsomesenseanomen。 “Iamconquered,“hesaidinavoiceinwhichvexationstruggledwithalaugh,“andbyawomanoverwhomIhadanadvantage。Itishumiliating,forIconfessIdonotlikebeingbeaten。“ “Don’tyouthinkthatwomengenerallywiniftheymeanto?“askedBarbara。“Ibelievethatwhentheyfail,whichisoftenenough,itisbecausetheydon’tcare,orcan’tmakeuptheirminds。Awomaninearnestisadangerousantagonist。“ “Yes,“heanswered,“orthebestofallies。“Thenhegavetheclubsandhalf-a-crowntothecaddies,andwhentheywereoutofhearing,added,“MissChampers,Ihavebeenwonderingforsometimewhetheritispossiblethatyouwouldbecomesuchanallytome。“ “Iknownothingofbusiness,SirRobert;mytastesdonotliethatway。“ “YouknowwellthatIwasnotspeakingofbusiness,MissChampers。I wasspeakingofanotherkindofpartnership,thatwhichNaturehasordainedbetweenmenandwomen——marriage。Willyouacceptmeasahusband?“ Sheopenedherlipstospeak,butheliftedhishandandwenton。 “Listenbeforeyougivethatreadyanswerwhichitissohardtorecall,orsmoothaway。Iknowallmydisadvantages,myyears,whichtoyoumayseemmany;mymodestorigin;mytrade,which,notaltogetherwithoutreason,youdespiseanddislike。Well,thefirsttwocannotbechangedexceptfortheworse;thesecondcanbe,andalreadyis,buriedbeneaththegoldandermineofwealthandtitles。 WhatdoesitmatterifIamthesonofaCityclerkwhoneverearnedmorethan£2aweekandwasborninatenementatBattersea,whenIamoneoftherichmenofthisrichlandandshalldieapeerinapalace,leavingmillionsandhonourstomychildren?Asforthethird,myoccupation,Iampreparedtogiveitup。Ithasservedmyturn,andafternextweekIshallhaveearnedtheamountthatyearsagoI determinedtoearn。Thenceforth,setabovetheaccidentsoffortune,I proposetodevotemyselftohigheraims,thoseoflegitimateambition。 SofarasmytimewouldallowIhavealreadytakensomeshareinpoliticsasaworker;IintendtocontinueinthemasarulerwhichI stillhavethehealthandabilitytodo。ImeantobeoneofthefirstmeninthisEmpire,toridetopowerovertheheadsofallthenonentitieswhoseonlyclaimupontheconfidenceoftheircountrymenisthattheywereborninacertainclass,withmoneyintheirpocketsandwithouttheneedtospendthebestoftheirmanhoodinwork。WithyouatmysideIcandoallthesethingsandmore,andsuchisthefuturethatIhavetoofferyou。“ Againshewouldhavebrokeninuponhisspeechandagainhestoppedher,readingtheunspokenansweronherlips。 “Listen:Ihavenottoldyouall。PerhapsIhaveputfirstwhatshouldhavecomelast。IhavenottoldyouthatIloveyouearnestlyandsincerely,withthesettled,unalterablelovethatsometimescomestomeninmiddle-agewhohaveneverturnedtheirthoughtthatwaybefore。 Iwillnotattempttherhapsodiesofpassionwhichatmytimeoflifemightsoundfoolishoroutofplace;yetitistruethatIamfilledwiththispassionwhichhasdescendedonmeandtakenpossessionofme。Iwhooftenhavelaughedatsuchthingsinothermen,adoreyou。 Youareajoytomyeyes。Ifyouarenotintheroom,formeitisempty。Iadmiretheuprightnessofyourcharacter,andevenyourprejudices,andtoyourstandardIdesiretoapproximatemyown。I thinkthatnomancaneverloveyouquitesowellasIdo,BarbaraChampers。Nowspeak。Iamreadytomeetthebestortheworst。“ AfterherfashionBarbaralookedhimstraightinthefacewithhersteadyeyes,andansweredgentlyenough,fortheman’smethodofpresentinghiscase,elaborateandpreparedthoughitevidentlywas,hadtouchedher。 “Ifearitistheworst,SirRobert。Therearehundredsofwomensuperiortomyselfineverywaywhowouldbegladtogiveyouthehelpandcompanionshipyouask,withtheirheartsthrownin。Chooseoneofthem,forIcannotdoso。“ Heheardandforthefirsttimehisfacebroke,asitwere。Allthiswhileithadremainedmasklikeandimmovable,evenwhenhespokeofhislove,butnowitbrokeasicebreaksatthepressureofasuddenfloodbeneath,andshesawthedepthsandeddiesofhisnatureandunderstoodtheirstrength。Notthatherevealedtheminspeech,angryorpleading,forthatremainedcalmandmeasuredenough。Shedidnothear,shesaw,andeventhenitwasmarvelloustoherthatamerechangeinaman’sexpressioncouldexplainsomuch。 “Thoseareverycruelwords,“hesaid。“Aretheyunalterable?“ “Quite。Idonotplayinsuchmatters,itwouldbewicked。“ “MayIaskyouonequestion,foriftheanswerisinthenegative,I shallstillcontinuetohope?Doyoucareforanyotherman?“ Againshelookedathimwithherfearlesseyesandanswered: “Yes,Iamengagedtoanotherman。“ “ToAlanVernon?“ Shenodded。 “Whendidthathappen?Someyearsago?“ “No,thismorning。“ “GreatHeavens!“hemutteredinahoarsevoiceturninghisheadaway,“thismorning。Thenlastnightitmightnothavebeentoolate,andlastnightIshouldhavespokentoyou,Ihadarrangeditall。Yes,ifithadnotbeenforthestoryofthataccursedfetishandyouruncle’sillness,Ishouldhavespokentoyou,andperhapssucceeded。“ “Ithinknot,“shesaid。 Heturneduponherandnotwithstandingthetearsinhiseyestheyburnedlikefire。 “Youthink——youthink,“hegasped,“butIknow。Ofcourseafterthismorningitwasimpossible。But,Barbara,IsaythatIwillwinyouyet。IhaveneverfailedinanyobjectthatIsetbeforemyself,anddonotsupposethatIshallfailinthis。AlthoughinawayIlikedandrespectedhim,IhavealwaysfeltthatVernonwasmyenemy,onedestinedtobringgriefandlossuponme,evenifhedidnotintendtodoso。NowIunderstandwhy,andheshalllearnthatIamstrongerthanhe。Godhelphim!Isay。“ “IthinkHewill,“Barbaraanswered,calmly。“Youarespeakingwildly,andIunderstandthereasonandhopethatyouwillforgetyourwords,butwhetheryouforgetorremember,donotsupposethatyoufrightenme。Youmenwhohavemademoney,“shewentonwithswellingindignation,“whohavemademoneysomehow,andhaveboughthonourswiththemoneyssomehow,thinkyourselvesgreat,andinyourlittleday,yourlittle,littledaythatwillendwiththreelinesinsmalltypein/TheTimes/,youaregreatinthisvulgarland。Youcanbuywhatyouwantandpeoplecreeproundyouandaskyoufordolesandfavours,andrailwayporterscallyou’myLord’ateveryotherstep。 Butyouforgetyourlimitationsinthisworld,andthatwhichlivesaboveyou。Yousayyouwilldothisandthat。Youshouldstudyabookwhichfewofyoueverread,whereittellsyouthatyoudonotknowwhatyouwillbeonthemorrow;thatyourlifeisevenasavapourappearingforalittletimeandthenvanishingaway。YouthinkthatyoucancrushthemantowhomIhavegivenmyheartbecauseheishonestandyouaredishonest,becauseyouarerichandheispoor,andbecausehechancestohavesucceededwhereyouhavenot。Well,formyselfandforhimIdefyyou。Doyourworstandfail,andwhenyouhavefailed,inthehourofyourextremityremembermywordsto-day。 IfIhavegivenyoupainbyrefusingyouitisnotmyfaultandIamsorry,butwhenyouthreatenthemanwhohashonouredmewithhisloveandwhomIhonouraboveeverycreatureupontheearth,thenIthreatenback,andmaythePowerthatmadeusalljudgebetweenyouandme,asjudgeitwill,“andburstingintotearssheturnedandlefthim。 SirRobertwatchedhergo。 “Whatawoman!“hesaidmeditatively,“whatawoman——tohavelost。 Wellshehassetthestakesandwewillplayoutthegame。Thecardsallseemtobeinmyhands,butitwouldnotintheleastsurprisemeifshewontherubber,fortheelementthatIcallChanceandshewouldcallsomethingelse,maycomein。Still,Ineverrefusedachallengeyetandwewillplaythegameoutwithoutpitytotheloser。“ Thatnightthefirsttrickwasplayed。WhenhegotbacktoTheCourtSirRobertorderedhismotorcaranddepartedonurgentbusiness,eithertohisownplace,OldHall,ortoLondon,sayingonlythathehadbeensummonedawaybytelegram。Asthe70-horse-powerMercedesglidedoutofthegatesapencillednotewasputintoMr。Haswell’shand。 Itran:“Ihavetriedandfailed——forthepresent。Byill-luckA。V。hadbeenbeforeme,onlythismorning。IfIhadnotmissedmychancelastnightowingtoyourillness,itwouldhavebeendifferent。Idonot,however,intheleastabandonmyplan,inwhichofcourseIrelyonandexpectyoursupport。KeepV。intheofficeorlethimgoasyoulike。Perhapsitwouldbebetterifyoucouldprevailuponhimtostopthereuntilaftertheflotation。Butwhateveryousayatthemoment,Itrusttoyoutoabsolutelyvetoanyengagementbetweenhimandyourniece,andtothatendtouseallyourpowersandauthorityasherguardian。 Burnthisnote。