Incaseyouwillconsenttorelieveme，andjudgeforyourselfthemiseryinwhichInowam，IliveintherueduHoussay，atthecorneroftherueChantereine，onthefifthfloor。IfIcannotpaymyrentto-morrowIshallbeputout——andthen，wherecanIgo？
MayIcallmyself，Yoursister-in-law，ComtesseFloredeBrambourg。
“Whatapitofinfamy！“criedJoseph；“thereissomethingunderitall。“
“Letussendforthewomanwhobroughttheletter；wemaygettheprefaceofthestory，“saidBixiou。
Thewomanpresentlyappeared，looking，asBixiouobserved，likeperambulatingrags。Shewas，infact，amassofoldgowns，oneontopofanother，fringedwithmudonaccountoftheweather，thewholemountedontwothicklegswithheavyfeetwhichwereill-coveredbyraggedstockingsandshoesfromwhosecracksthewateroozeduponthefloor。AbovethemoundofragsroseaheadlikethosethatCharlethasgiventohisscavenger-women，caparisonedwithafilthybandannahandkerchiefslitinthefolds。
“Whatisyourname？“saidJoseph，whileBixiousketchedher，leaningonanumbrellabelongingtotheyearII。oftheRepublic。
“MadameGruget，atyourservice。I’veseenbetterdays，myyounggentleman，“shesaidtoBixiou，whoselaughaffrontedher。“Ifmypoorgirlhadn’thadtheill-lucktolovesomeonetoomuch，youwouldn’tseemewhatIam。Shedrownedherselfintheriver，mypoorIda，——
savingyourpresence！I’vehadthefollytonurseupaquaterne，andthat’swhy，atseventy-sevenyearsofage，I’mobligedtotakecareofsickfolksfortensousaday，andgo——“
“——withoutclothes？“saidBixiou。“Mygrandmothernursedupatrey，butshedressedherselfproperly。“
“OutofmytensousIhavetopayforalodging——“
“What’sthematterwiththeladyyouarenursing？“
“Inthefirstplace，shehasn’tgotanymoney；andthenshehasadiseasethatscaresthedoctors。Sheowesmeforsixtydays’nursing；
that’swhyIkeeponnursingher。Thehusband，whoisacount，——sheisreallyacountess，——willnodoubtpaymewhensheisdead；andsoI’velentherallIhad。AndnowIhaven’tanything；allIdidhavehasgonetothepawn-brokers。Sheowesmeforty-sevenfrancsandtwelvesous，besidethirtyfrancsforthenursing。Shewantstokillherselfwithcharcoal。Itellheritain’tright；and，indeed，I’vehadtogettheconciergetolookafterherwhileI’mgone，orshe’slikelytojumpoutofthewindow。“
“Butwhat’sthematterwithher？“saidJoseph。
“Ah！monsieur，thedoctorfromtheSisters’hospitalcame；butastothedisease，“saidMadameGruget，assumingamodestair，“hetoldmeshemustgotothehospital。Thecaseishopeless。“
“Letusgoandseeher，“saidBixiou。
“Here，“saidJosephtothewoman，“takethesetenfrancs。“
Plunginghishandintotheskullandtakingoutallhisremainingmoney，thepaintercalledacoachfromtherueMazarinandwenttofindBianchon，whowasfortunatelyathome。MeantimeBixiouwentoffatfullspeedtotheruedeBussy，afterDesroches。ThefourfriendsreachedFlore’sretreatintherueduHoussayanhourlater。
“ThatMephistophelesonhorseback，namedPhilippeBridau，“saidBixiou，astheymountedthestaircase，“hassailedhisboatcleverlytogetridofhiswife。YouknowouroldfriendLousteau？well，PhilippepaidhimathousandfrancsamonthtokeepMadameBridauinthesocietyofFlorine，Mariette，Tullia，andtheVal-Noble。WhenPhilippesawhiscrab-girlsousedtopleasureanddressthatshecouldn’tdowithoutthem，hestoppedpayingthemoney，andlefthertogetitasshecould——itiseasytoknowhow。Bytheendofeighteenmonths，thebrutehadforcedhiswife，stagebystage，lowerandlower；tillatlast，bythehelpofayoungofficer，hegaveheratastefordrinking。Ashewentupintheworld，hiswifewentdown；
andthecountessisnowinthemud。Thegirl，bredinthecountry，hasastrongconstitution。Idon’tknowwhatmeansPhilippehaslatelytakentogetridofher。Iamanxioustostudythispreciouslittledrama，forIamdeterminedtoavengeJosephhere。Alas，friends，“headded，inatonewhichlefthisthreecompanionsindoubtwhetherhewasjestingorspeakingseriously，“giveamanovertoaviceandyou’llgetridofhim。Didn’tHugosay:’Shelovedaball，anddiedofit’？Soitis。Mygrandmotherlovedthelottery。OldRougetlovedalooselife，andLolottekilledhim。MadameBridau，poorwoman，lovedPhilippe，andperishedofit。Vice！vice！mydearfriends，doyouwanttoknowwhatviceis？ItistheBonneauofdeath。“
“Thenyou’lldieofajoke，“saidDesroches，laughing。
Abovethefourthfloor，theyoungmenwereforcedtoclimboneofthesteep，straightstairwaysthatarealmostladders，bywhichtheatticsofParisianhousesareoftenreached。ThoughJoseph，whorememberedFloreinallherbeauty，expectedtoseesomefrightfulchange，hewasnotpreparedforthehideousspectaclewhichnowsmotehisartist’seye。Inaroomwithbare，unpaperedwalls，underthesharppitchofanatticroof，onacotwhosescantymattresswasfilled，perhaps，withrefusecotton，awomanlay，greenasabodythathasbeendrownedtwodays，thinasaconsumptiveanhourbeforedeath。Thisputridskeletonhadamiserablecheckedhandkerchiefboundaboutherhead，whichhadlostitshair。Thecircleroundtheholloweyeswasred，andtheeyelidswerelikethepellicleofanegg。Nothingremainedofthebody，oncesocaptivating，butanignoble，bonystructure。AsFlorecaughtsightofthevisitors，shedrewacrossherbreastabitofmuslinwhichmighthavebeenafragmentofawindow-curtain，foritwasedgedwithrustasfromarod。Theyoungmensawtwochairs，abrokenbureauonwhichwasatallow-candlestuckintoapotato，afewdishesonthefloor，andanearthenfire-potinacornerofthechimney，inwhichtherewasnofire；thiswasallthefurnitureoftheroom。Bixiounoticedtheremainingsheetsofwriting-paper，broughtfromsomeneighboringgroceryfortheletterwhichthetwowomenhaddoubtlessconcoctedtogether。Theword“disgusting“isapositivetowhichnosuperlativeexists，andwemustthereforeuseittoconveytheimpressioncausedbythissight。WhenthedyingwomansawJosephapproachingher，twogreattearsrolleddownhercheeks。
“Shecanstillweep！“whisperedBixiou。“Astrangesight，——tearsfromdominos！ItislikethemiracleofMoses。“
“Howburntup！“criedJoseph。
“Inthefiresofrepentance，“saidFlore。“Icannotgetapriest；I
havenothing，notevenacrucifix，tohelpmeseeGod。Ah，monsieur！“
shecried，raisingherarms，thatwereliketwopiecesofcarvedwood，“Iamaguiltywoman；butGodneverpunishedanyoneashehaspunishedme！PhilippekilledMax，whoadvisedmetododreadfulthings，andnowhehaskilledme。Goduseshimasascourge！“
“Leavemealonewithher，“saidBianchon，“andletmefindoutifthediseaseiscurable。“
“Ifyoucureher，PhilippeBridauwilldieofrage，“saidDesroches。
“Iamgoingtodrawupastatementoftheconditioninwhichwehavefoundhiswife。Hehasnotbroughtherbeforethecourtsasanadulteress，andthereforeherrightsasawifeareintact:heshallhavetheshameofasuit。Butfirst，wemustremovetheComtessedeBrambourgtotheprivatehospitalofDoctorDubois，intherueduFaubourg-Saint-Denis。Shewillbewellcaredforthere。ThenIwillsummonthecountfortherestorationoftheconjugalhome。“
“Bravo，Desroches！“criedBixiou。“Whatapleasuretodosomuchgoodthatwillmakesomepeoplefeelsobadly！“
Tenminuteslater，Bianchoncamedownandjoinedthem。
“IamgoingstraighttoDespleins，“hesaid。“Hecansavethewomanbyanoperation。Ah！hewilltakegoodcareofthecase，forherabuseofliquorhasdevelopedamagnificentdiseasewhichwasthoughttobelost。“
“Wagofamangler！Isn’ttherebutonediseaseinlife？“criedBixiou。
ButBianchonwasalreadyoutofsight，sogreatwashishastetotellDespleinsthewonderfulnews。Twohourslater，Joseph’smiserablesister-in-lawwasremovedtothedecenthospitalestablishedbyDoctorDubois，whichwasafterwardboughtofhimbythecityofParis。Threeweekslater，the“HospitalGazette“publishedanaccountofoneoftheboldestoperationsofmodernsurgery，onacasedesignatedbytheinitials“F。B。“Thepatientdied，——morefromtheexhaustionproducedbymiseryandstarvationthanfromtheeffectsofthetreatment。
Nosoonerdidthisoccur，thantheComtedeBrambourgwent，indeepmourning，tocallontheComtedeSoulanges，andinformhimofthesadlosshehadjustsustained。Soonafter，itwaswhisperedaboutinthefashionableworldthattheComtedeSoulangeswouldshortlymarryhisdaughtertoaparvenuofgreatmerit，whowasabouttobeappointedbrigadier-generalandreceivecommandofaregimentoftheRoyalGuard。DeMarsaytoldthisnewstoEugenedeRastignac，astheyweresuppingtogetherattheRocherdeCancale，whereBixiouhappenedtobe。
“Itshallnottakeplace！“saidthewittyartisttohimself。
AmongthemanyoldfriendswhomPhilippenowrefusedtorecognize，thereweresome，likeGiroudeau，whowereunabletorevengethemselves；butithappenedthathehadwoundedBixiou，who，thankstohisbrilliantqualities，waseverywherereceived，andwhoneverforgaveaninsult。OnedayattheRocherdeCancale，beforeanumberofwell-bredpersonswhoweresuppingthere，PhilippehadrepliedtoBixiou，whospokeofvisitinghimatthehoteldeBrambourg:“Youcancomeandseemewhenyouaremadeaminister。“
“AmItoturnProtestantbeforeIcanvisityou？“saidBixiou，pretendingtomisunderstandthespeech；buthesaidtohimself，“YoumaybeGoliath，butIhavegotmysling，andplentyofstones。“
Thenextdayhewenttoanactor，whowasoneofhisfriends，andmetamorphosedhimself，bytheall-powerfulaidofdress，intoasecularizedpriestwithgreenspectacles；thenhetookacarriageanddrovetothehoteldeSoulanges。Receivedbythecount，onsendinginamessagethathewantedtospeakwithhimonamatterofseriousimportance，herelatedinafeignedvoicethewholestoryofthedeadcountess，thesecretparticularsofwhosehorribledeathhadbeenconfidedtohimbyBianchon；thehistoryofAgathe’sdeath；thehistoryofoldRouget’sdeath，ofwhichtheComtedeBrambourghadopenlyboasted；thehistoryofMadameDescoings’sdeath；thehistoryofthetheftfromthenewspaper；andthehistoryofPhilippe’sprivatemoralsduringhisearlydays。
