第24章

类别:其他 作者:Thomas Hardy字数:5643更新时间:18/12/26 16:58:32
Sinceyoutoldmethat,Ihavenotlookedforheratall。’ ’Iwaswrong,father,’Bobrepliedgravely,throwingdownhisbundleandstick。’Matilda,Ifind,hasnotgoneawayinscornofus;shehasgoneawayforotherreasons。Ifollowedhersomeway;butI havecomebackagain。Shemaygo。’ ’Whyisshegone?’saidtheastonishedmiller。 Bobhadintended,forMatilda’ssake,togivenoreasontoalivingsoulforherdeparture。Buthecouldnottreathisfatherthusreservedly;andhetold。 ’Shehasmadegreatfoolsofus,’saidthemillerdeliberately;’andshemighthavemadeusgreaterones。Bob,Ithoughtth’hadstmoresense。’ ’Well,don’tsayanythingagainsther,father,’imploredBob。 ’’Twasasorryhaul,andthere’sanendon’t。Letherdownquietly,andkeepthesecret。Youpromisethat?’ ’Ido。’Lovedaytheelderremainedthinkingawhile,andthenwenton——’Well,whatIwasgoingtosayisthis:I’vehituponaplantogetoutoftheawkwardcornershehasputusin。Whatyou’llthinkofitIcan’tsay。’ ’Davidhasjustgivenmetheheads。’ ’Anddoithurtyourfeelings,myson,atsuchatime?’ ’No——I’llbringmyselftobearit,anyhow!WhyshouldIobjecttootherpeople’shappinessbecauseIhavelostmyown?’saidBob,withsaintlyself-sacrificeinhisair。 ’Wellsaid!’answeredthemillerheartily。’Butyoumaybesurethattherewillbenounseemlyrejoicing,todisturbyeinyourpresentframeofmind。AllthemorningIfeltmoreashamedthanI caredtoownatthethoughtofhowtheneighbours,greatandsmall,wouldlaughatwhattheywouldcallyourfolly,whentheyknewwhathadhappened;soIresolvedtotakethissteptostaveitoff,ifsobe’twaspossible。AndwhenIsawMrs。GarlandIknewIhaddoneright。Shepitiedmesomuchforhavinghadthehousecleanedinvain,andlaidinprovisionstowaste,thatitputherintothehumourtoagree。Wemeantodoitrightoffatonce,aforethepiesandcakesgetmouldyandtheblackpotstale。’Twasagoodthoughtofmineandhers,andIamglad’tissettled,’heconcludedcheerfully。 ’PoorMatilda!’murmuredBob。 ’There——Iwasafraid’twouldhurtthyfeelings,’saidthemiller,withself-reproach:’makingpreparationsforthywedding,andusingthemformyown!’ ’No,’saidBobheroically;’itshallnot。Itwillbeagreatcomfortinmysorrowtofeelthatthesplendidgrub,andtheale,andyourstunningnewsuitofclothes,andthegreattable-clothsyou’vebought,willbejustasusefulnowasifIhadmarriedmyself。PoorMatilda!Butyouwon’texpectmetojoinin——youhardlycan。Icansheeroffthatdayveryeasily,youknow。’ ’Nonsense,Bob!’saidthemillerreproachfully。 ’Icouldn’tstandit——Ishouldbreakdown。’ ’DeucetakemeifIwouldhaveaskedher,then,ifIhadknown’twasgoingtodrivetheeoutofthehouse!Now,come,Bob,I’llfindawayofarrangingitandsoberingitdown,sothatitshallbeasmelancholyasyoucanrequire——inshort,justlikeafuneral,ifthou’ltpromisetostay?’ ’Verywell,’saidtheafflictedone。’OnthatconditionI’llstay。’ Havingenteredintothissolemncompactwithhisson,theelderLoveday’snextactionwastogotoMrs。Garland,andaskherhowthetoningdownoftheweddinghadbestbedone。’ItisplainenoughthattomakemerryjustnowwouldbeslightingBob’sfeelings,asifwedidn’tcarewhowasnotmarried,solongaswewere,’hesaid。 ’Butthen,what’stobedoneaboutthevictuals?’ ’Giveadinnertothepoorfolk,’shesuggested。’Wecangeteverythingusedupthatway。’ ’That’strue’saidthemiller。’There’senoughof’eminthesetimestocarryoffanyextraswhatsoever。’ ’AnditwillsaveBob’sfeelingswonderfully。Andtheywon’tknowthatthedinnerwasgotforanothersortofweddingandanothersortofguests;soyou’llhavetheirgood-willfornothing。’ Themillersmiledatthesubtletyoftheview。’Thatcanhardlybecalledfair,’hesaid。’Still,Ididmeansomeofitforthem,forthefriendswemeanttoaskwouldnothaveclearedall。’ Uponthewholetheideapleasedhimwell,particularlywhenhenoticedtheforlornlookofhissailorsonashewalkedabouttheplace,andpicturedtheinevitablyjarringeffectoffiddlesandtambourinesuponBob’sshatterednervesatsuchacrisis,evenifthenotesoftheformerweredulledbytheapplicationofamute,andBobshutupinadistantbedroom——aplanwhichhadatfirstoccurredtohim。HethereforetoldBobthatthesurchargedlarderwastobeemptiedbythecharitableprocessabovealludedto,andhopedhewouldnotmindmakinghimselfusefulinsuchagoodandgloomywork。Bobreadilyfellinwiththescheme,anditwasatonceputinhandandthetablesspread。 Thealacritywithwhichthesubstitutedweddingwascarriedout,seemedtoshowthattheworthypairofneighbourswouldhavejoinedthemselvesintoonelongago,hadtherepreviouslyoccurredanydomesticincidentdictatingsuchastepasanappositeexpedient,apartfromtheirpersonalwishtomarry。 Theappointedmorningcame,andtheservicequietlytookplaceatthecheerfulhouroften,inthefaceofatriangularcongregation,ofwhichthebasewasthefrontpew,andtheapexthewestdoor。 Mrs。GarlanddressedherselfinthemuslinshawllikeQueenCharlotte’s,thatBobhadbroughthome,andherbestplum-colouredgown,beneathwhichpeepedouthershoeswithredrosettes。Annewaspresent,butsheconsideratelytonedherselfdown,soasnottotooseriouslydamagehermother’sappearance。Atmomentsduringtheceremonyshehadadistressingsensethatsheoughtnottobeborn,andwasgladtogethomeagain。 Theinterestexcitedinthevillage,thoughreal,washardlyenoughtobringaseriousblushtothefaceofcoyness。Neighbours’mindshadbecomesosaturatedbytheabundanceofshowymilitaryandregalincidentlatelyvouchsafedtothem,thattheweddingofmiddle-agedcivilianswasofsmallaccount,exceptinginsofarthatitsolvedthequestionwhetherornotMrs。Garlandwouldconsiderherselftoogenteeltomatewithagrinderofcorn。 Intheevening,Loveday’sheartwasmadegladbyseeingthebakedandboiledinrapidprocessofconsumptionbythekitchenfulofpeopleassembledforthatpurpose。Three-quartersofanhourweresufficienttobanishforeverhisfearsastospoiltfood。Theprovisionsbeingthecauseoftheassembly,andnotitsconsequence,ithadbeendeterminedtogetallthatwouldnotkeepconsumedonthatday,evenifhighwaysandhedgeshadtobesearchedforoperators。And,inadditiontothepoorandneedy,everycottager’sdaughterknowntothemillerwasinvited,andtoldtobringherloverfromcamp——anexpedientwhich,forlettingdaylightintotheinsideoffullplatters,wasamongthemosthappyeverknown。 WhileMr。andMrs。Loveday,Anne,andBobwerestandingintheparlour,discussingtheprogressoftheentertainmentinthenextroom,John,whohadnotbeendownallday,enteredthehouseandlookedinuponthemthroughtheopendoor。 ’How’sthis,John?Whydidn’tyoucomebefore?’ ’Hadtoseethecaptain,and——otherduties,’saidthetrumpet-major,inatonewhichshowednogreatzealforexplanations。 ’Well,comein,however,’continuedthemiller,ashissonremainedwithhishandonthedoor-post,surveyingthemreflectively。 ’Icannotstaylong,’saidJohn,advancing。’TheRouteiscome,andwearegoingaway。’ ’Goingaway!Whereto?’ ’ToExonbury。’ ’When?’ ’Fridaymorning。’ ’Allofyou?’ ’Yes;someto-morrowandsomenextday。TheKinggoesnextweek。’ ’Iamsorryforthis,’saidthemiller,notexpressinghalfhissorrowbythesimpleutterance。’Iwishyoucouldhavebeenhereto-day,sincethisisthecase,’headded,lookingatthehorizonthroughthewindow。 Mrs。Lovedayalsoexpressedherregret,whichseemedtoremindthetrumpet-majoroftheeventoftheday,andhewenttoherandtriedtosaysomethingbefittingtheoccasion。Annehadnotsaidthatshewaseithersorryorglad,butJohnLovedayfanciedthatshehadlookedratherrelievedthanotherwisewhensheheardhisnews。HisconversationwithBobonthedownmadeBob’smanner,too,remarkablycool,notwithstandingthathehadafterallfollowedhisbrother’sadvice,whichitwasasyettoosoonaftertheeventforhimtorightlyvalue。Johndidnotknowwhythesailorhadcomeback,neversupposingthatitwasbecausehehadthoughtbetterofgoing,andsaidtohimprivately,’Youdidn’tovertakeher?’ ’Ididn’ttryto,’saidBob。 ’Andyouarenotgoingto?’ ’No;Ishallletherdrift。’ ’Iamgladindeed,Bob;youhavebeenwise,’saidJohnheartily。 Bob,however,stilllovedMatildatoowelltobeotherthandissatisfiedwithJohnandtheeventthathehadprecipitated,whichtheelderbrotheronlytoopromptlyperceived;anditmadehisstaythateveningofshortduration。Beforeleavinghesaidwithsomehesitationtohisfather,includingAnneandhermotherbyhisglance,’Doyouthinktocomeupandseeusoff?’ Themilleransweredforthemall,andsaidthatofcoursetheywouldcome。’Butyou’llstepdownagainbetweennowandthen?’heinquired。 ’I’lltryto。’Headdedafterapause,’IncaseIshouldnot,rememberthatRevalleywillsoundathalfpastfive;weshallleaveabouteight。Nextsummer,perhaps,weshallcomeandcamphereagain。’ ’Ihopeso,’saidhisfatherandMrs。Loveday。 TherewassomethinginJohn’smannerwhichindicatedtoAnnethathescarcelyintendedtocomedownagain;buttheothersdidnotnoticeit,andshesaidnothing。Hedepartedafewminuteslater,intheduskoftheAugustevening,leavingAnnestillindoubtastothemeaningofhisprivatemeetingwithMissJohnson。 JohnLovedayhadbeengoingtotellthemthatonthelastnight,byanespecialprivilege,itwouldbeinhispowertocomeandstaywiththemuntileleveno’clock,butatthemomentofleavingheabandonedtheintention。Anne’sattitudehadchilledhim,andmadehimanxioustobeoff。Heutilizedthesparehoursofthatlastnightinanotherway。 Thiswasbycomingdownfromtheoutskirtsofthecampintheevening,andseatinghimselfnearthebrinkofthemill-pondassoonasitwasquitedark;wherehewatchedthelightsinthedifferentwindowstilloneappearedinAnne’sbedroom,andsheherselfcameforwardtoshutthecasement,withthecandleinherhand。Thelightshoneoutuponthebroadanddeepmill-head,illuminatingtoadistinctindividualityeverymothandgnatthatenteredthequiveringchainofradiancestretchingacrossthewatertowardshim,andeverybubbleoratomoffroththatfloatedintoitswidth。Shestoodforsometimelookingout,littlethinkingwhatthedarknessconcealedontheothersideofthatwidestream;tillatlengthsheclosedthecasement,drewthecurtains,andretreatedintotheroom。 Presentlythelightwentout,uponwhichJohnLovedayreturnedtocampandlaydowninhistent。 Thenextmorningwasdullandwindy,andthetrumpetsofthe——thsoundedReveilleforthelasttimeonOvercombeDown。KnowingthattheDragoonsweregoingaway,Annehadsleptheedfully,andwasatonceawakenedbythesmartnotes。Shelookedoutofthewindow,tofindthatthemillerwasalreadyastir,hiswhiteformbeingvisibleattheendofhisgarden,wherehestoodmotionless,watchingthepreparations。Annealsolookedonaswellasshecouldthroughthedimgreygloom,andsoonshesawthebluesmokefromthecooks’ firescreepingfitfullyalongtheground,insteadofrisinginverticalcolumns,asithaddoneduringthefineweatherseason。 Thenthemenbegantocarrytheirbeddingtothewaggons,andotherstothrowallrefuseintothetrenches,tillthedownwaslivelyasanant-hill。AnnedidnotwanttoseeJohnLovedayagain,buthearingthehouseholdastir,shebegantodressatleisure,lookingoutatthecampthewhile。 Whenthesoldiershadbreakfasted,shesawthemsellingandgivingawaytheirsuperfluouscrockerytothenativeswhohadclusteredround;andthentheypulleddownandclearedawaythetemporarykitchenswhichtheyhadconstructedwhentheycame。Atappingoftent-pegsandwrigglingofpicket-postsfollowed,andsoontheconesofwhitecanvas,nowalmostbecomeacomponentpartofthelandscape,felltotheground。Atthismomentthemillercameindoorsandaskedatthefootofthestairsifanybodywasgoingupthehillwithhim。 Annefeltthat,inspiteofthecloudhangingoverJohninhermind,itwouldillbecomethepresentmomentnottoseehimoff,andshewentdownstairstohermother,whowasalreadythere,thoughBobwasnowheretobeseen。Eachtookanarmofthemiller,andthusclimbedtothetopofthehill。Bythistimethemenandhorseswereattheplaceofassembly,and,shortlyafterthemill-partyreachedlevelground,thetroopsslowlybegantomoveforward。Whenthetrumpet-major,halfburiedinhisuniform,arms,andhorse-furniture,drewneartothespotwheretheLovedayswerewaitingtoseehimpass,hisfatherturnedanxiouslytoAnneandsaid,’YouwillshakehandswithJohn?’