第24章

类别:其他 作者:Willa Cather字数:5049更新时间:18/12/26 16:55:51
manisn’tgoingtoseehiswifemakeaguyofherselfforever,ishe?Chaoshasalreadybegunintheservants’quarters。Therearesixdifferentlanguagesspokentherenow。Yousee,it’sallonanentirelyfalsebasis。Flaviahasn’ttheslightestnotionofwhatthesepeoplearereallylike,theirgoodandtheirbadalikeescapeher。They,ontheotherhand,can’timaginewhatsheisdrivingat。Now,Arthurisworseoffthaneitherfaction;heisnotinthefairystoryinthatheseesthesepeopleexactlyastheyare,butheisutterlyunabletoseeFlaviaastheyseeher。Thereyouhavethesituation。Whycan’theseeheraswedo? Mydear,thathaskeptmeawakeo’nights。Thismanwhohasthoughtsomuchandlivedsomuch,whoisnaturallyacritic,reallytakesFlaviaatverynearlyherownestimate。ButnowIamenteringuponawilderness。FromabriefacquaintancewithheryoucanknownothingoftheicyfastnessesofFlavia’sself- esteem。It’slikeSt。Peter’s;youcan’trealizeitsmagnitudeatonce。Youhavetogrowintoasenseofitbylivingunderitsshadow。IthasperplexedevenEmileRoux,thatmercilessdissectorofegoism。Shehaspuzzledhimthemorebecausebesawataglancewhatsomeofthemdonotperceiveatonce,andwhatwillbemercifullyconcealedfromArthuruntilthetrumpsounds; namely,thatallFlavia’sartistshavedoneoreverwilldomeansexactlyasmuchtoherasasymphonymeanstoanoyster;thatthereisnobridgebywhichthesignificanceofanyworkofartcouldbeconveyedtoher。“ “Then,inthenameofgoodness,whydoesshebother?“gaspedImogen。“Sheispretty,wealthy,well-established;whyshouldshebother?“ “That’swhatM。Rouxhaskeptaskinghimself。Ican’tpretendtoanalyzeit。ShereadspapersontheLiteraryLandmarksofParis,theLovesofthePoets,andthatsortofthing,toclubsoutinChicago。ToFlaviaitismorenecessarytobecalledcleverthantobreathe。IwouldgiveagooddealtoknowthatglumFrenchman’sdiagnosis。Hehasbeenwatchingheroutofthosefishyeyesofhisasabiologistwatchesahemispherelessfrog。“ ForseveraldaysafterM。Roux’sdepartureFlaviagaveanembarrassingshareofherattentiontoImogen。Embarrassing,becauseImogenhadthefeelingofbeingenergeticallyandfutilelyexplored,sheknewnotforwhat。Shefeltherselfundertheglobeofanairpump,expectedtoyieldupsomething。WhensheconfinedtheconversationtomattersofgeneralinterestFlaviaconveyedtoherwithsomepiquethatheroneendeavorinlifehadbeentofitherselftoconversewithherfriendsuponthosethingswhichvitallyinterestedthem。“Onehasnorighttoaccepttheirbestfrompeopleunlessonegives,isn’titso?I wanttobeabletogive——!“shedeclaredvaguely。YetwheneverImogenstrovetopayhertithesandplungedbravelyintoherplansforstudynextwinter,Flaviagrewabsent-mindedandinterruptedherbyamazinggeneralizationsorbysuchembarrassingquestionsas,“Andthesegrimstudiesreallyhavecharmforyou;youarequiteburiedinthem;theymakeotherthingsseemlightandephemeral?“ “IratherfeelasthoughIhadgotinhereunderfalsepretenses,“ImogenconfidedtoMissBroadwood。“I’msureIdon’tknowwhatitisthatshewantsofme。“ “Ah,“chuckledJemima,“youarenotequaltothesehearttohearttalkswithFlavia。Youutterlyfailtocommunicatetohertheatmosphereofthatuntroubledjoyinwhichyoudwell。Youmustrememberthatshegetsnofeelingoutofthingsherself,andshedemandsthatyouimpartyourstoherbysomeprocessofpsychictransmission。Ioncemetablindgirl,blindfrombirth,whocoulddiscussthepeculiaritiesoftheBarbizonschoolwithjustFlavia’sglibnessandenthusiasm。OrdinarilyFlaviaknowshowtogetwhatshewantsfrompeople,andhermemoryiswonderful。OneeveningIheardhergivingFrauLichtenfeldsomerandomimpressionsaboutHeddaGablerwhichsheextractedfrommefiveyearsago;givingthemwithanimpassionedconvictionofwhichIwasneverguilty。ButIhaveknownotherpeoplewhocouldappropriateyourstoriesandopinions;Flaviaisinfinitelymoresubtlethanthat;shecansoakuptheverythrashanddriftofyourdaydreams,andtaketheverythrillsoffyourback,asitwere。“ Aftersomedaysofunsuccessfuleffort,Flaviawithdrewherself,andImogenfoundHamiltonreadytocatchherwhenshewastossedafield。Heseemedonlytohavebeenawaitingthiscrisis,andatoncetheiroldintimacyreestablisheditselfasathinginevitableandbeautifullypreparedfor。Sheconvincedherselfthatshehadnotbeenmistakeninhim,despiteallthedoubtsthathadcomeupinlateryears,andthisrenewaloffaithsetmorethanonequestionthumpinginherbrain。“Howdidhe,howcanhe?“shekeptrepeatingwithatingeofherchildishresentment,“whatrighthadhetowasteanythingsofine?“ WhenImogenandArthurwerereturningfromawalkbeforeluncheononemorningaboutaweekafterM。Roux’sdeparture,theynoticedanabsorbedgroupbeforeoneofthehallwindows。HerrSchotteandRestzhoffsatonthewindowseatwithanewspaperbetweenthem,whileWellington,Schemetzkin,andWillMaidenwoodlookedovertheirshoulders。Theyseemedintenselyinterested,HerrSchotteoccasionallypoundinghiskneeswithhisfistsinebullitionsofbarbaricglee。Whenimogenenteredthehall,however,themenwereallsaunteringtowardthebreakfastroomandthepaperwaslyinginnocentlyonthedivan。DuringluncheonthepersonnelofthatwindowgroupwereunwontedlyanimatedandagreeableallsaveSchemetzkin,whosestarewasblankerthanever,asthoughRoux’smantleofinsultingindifferencehadfallenuponhim,inadditiontohisownobliviousself- absorption。WillMaidenwoodseemedembarrassedandannoyed;thechemistemployedhimselfwithmakingpolitespeechestoHamilton。 Flaviadidnotcomedowntolunch——andtherewasamaliciousgleamunderHerrSchotte’seyebrows。FrankWellingtonannouncednervouslythatanimperativeletterfromhisprotectingsyndicatesummonedhimtothecity。 Afterluncheonthemenwenttothegolflinks,andImogen,atthefirstopportunity,possessedherselfofthenewspaperwhichhadbeenleftonthedivan。Oneofthefirstthingsthatcaughthereyewasanarticleheaded“RouxonTuftHunters;TheAdvancedAmericanWomanasHeSeesHer;Aggressive,Superficial,andInsincere。“TheentireinterviewwasnothingmorenorlessthanasatiriccharacterizationofFlavia,aquiverwithirritationandvitriolicmalice。Noonecouldmistakeit;itwasdonewithallhisdeftnessofportraiture。Imogenhadnotfinishedthearticlewhensheheardafootstep,andclutchingthepapershestartedprecipitatelytowardthestairwayasArthurentered。Heputouthishand,lookingcriticallyatherdistressedface。 “Waitamoment,MissWillard,“hesaidperemptorily,“Iwanttoseewhetherwecanfindwhatitwasthatsointerestedourfriendsthismorning。Givemethepaper,please。“ Imogengrewquitewhiteasheopenedthejournal。Shereachedforwardandcrumpleditwithherhands。“Pleasedon’t,pleasedon’t,“shepleaded;“it’ssomethingIdon’twantyoutosee。Oh,whywillyou?it’sjustsomethinglowanddespicablethatyoucan’tnotice。“ Arthurhadgentlyloosedherhands,andhepointedhertoachair。 Helitacigarandreadthearticlethroughwithoutcomment。Whenhehadfinishedithewalkedtothefireplace,struckamatch,andtossedtheflamingjournalbetweenthebrassandirons。 “Youareright,“heremarkedashecameback,dustinghishandswithhishandkerchief。“It’squiteimpossibletocomment。 Thereareextremesofblackguardismforwhichwehavenoname。 TheonlythingnecessaryistoseethatFlaviagetsnowindofthis。Thisseemstobemycuetoact;poorgirl。“ Imogenlookedathimtearfully;shecouldonlymurmur,“Oh,whydidyoureadit!“ Hamiltonlaughedspiritlessly。“Come,don’tyouworryaboutit。Youalwaystookotherpeople’stroublestooseriously。Whenyouwerelittleandalltheworldwasgayandeverybodyhappy,youmustneedsgettheLittleMermaid’stroublestogrieveover。 Comewithmeintothemusicroom。YourememberthemusicalsettingIoncemadeyoufortheLayoftheJabberwock?Iwastryingitovertheothernight,longafteryouwereinbed,andI decideditwasquiteasfineastheErl-Kingmusic。HowIwishI couldgiveyousomeofthecakethatAliceateandmakeyoualittlegirlagain。Then,whenyouhadgotthroughtheglassdoorintothelittlegarden,youcouldcalltome,perhaps,andtellmeallthefinethingsthatweregoingonthere。Whatapityitisthatyouevergrewup!“headded,laughing;andImogen,too,wasthinkingjustthat。 Atdinnerthatevening,Flavia,withfatalpersistence,insisteduponturningtheconversationtoM。Roux。ShehadbeenreadingoneofhisnovelsandhadrememberedanewthatParissetitswatchesbyhisclock。Imogensurmisedthatshewastorturedbyafeelingthatshehadnotsufficientlyappreciatedhimwhileshehadhadhim。Whenshefirstmentionedhisnameshewasansweredonlybythepallofsilencethatfelloverthecompany。 Theneveryonebegantotalkatonce,asthoughtocorrectafalseposition。Theyspokeofhimwithafervid,defiantadmiration,withthesortofhotpraisethatcoversadoublepurpose。Imogenfanciedshecouldseethattheyfeltakindofreliefatwhatthemanhaddone,eventhosewhodespisedhimfordoingit;thattheyfeltaspitefulhateagainstFlavia,asthoughshehadtrickedthem,andacertaincontemptforthemselvesthattheyhadbeenbeguiled。Shewasremindedofthefuryofthecrowdinthefairytale,whenoncethechildhadcalledoutthatthekingwasinhisnightclothes。SurelythesepeopleknewnomoreaboutFlaviathantheyhadknownbefore,butthemerefactthatthethinghadbeensaidalteredthesituation。Flavia,meanwhile,satchatteringamiably,patheticallyunconsciousofhernakedness。 Hamiltonlounged,fingeringthestemofhiswineglass,gazingdownthetableatonefaceafteranotherandstudyingthevariousdegreesofself-consciousnesstheyexhibited。Imogen’seyesfollowedhis,fearfully。Whenalullcameinthespasmodicflowofconversation,Arthur,leaningbackinhischair,remarkeddeliberately,“AsforM。Roux,hisveryprofessionplaceshiminthatclassofmenwhomsocietyhasneverbeenabletoacceptunconditionallybecauseithasneverbeenabletoassumethattheyhaveanyorderednotionoftaste。Heandhisilkremain,withthemountebanksandsnakecharmers,peopleindispensabletoourcivilization,butwhollyunreclaimedbyit;peoplewhomwereceive,butwhoseinvitationswedonotaccept。“ FortunatelyforFlavia,thisminewasnotexplodeduntiljustbeforethecoffeewasbrought。Herlaughterwaspitifultohear;itechoedthroughthesilentroomasinavault,whileshemadesometremulouslylightremarkaboutherhusband’sdrollery,grimasajestfromthedying。Noonerespondedandshesatnoddingherheadlikeamechanicaltoyandsmilingherwhite,setsmilethroughherteeth,untilAlceeBuissonandFrauLichtenfeldcametohersupport。 Afterdinnertheguestsretiredimmediatelytotheirrooms,andImogenwentupstairsontiptoe,feelingtheechoofbreakageandthedustofcrumblingintheair。ShewonderedwhetherFlavia’shabitualnoteofuneasinesswerenot,inamanner,prophetic,andasortofunconsciouspremonition,afterall。Shesatdowntowritealetter,butshefoundherselfsonervous,herheadsohotandherhandssocold,thatshesoonabandonedtheeffort。justasshewasabouttoseekMissBroadwood,Flaviaenteredandembracedherhysterically。