第6章

类别:其他 作者:Willa Cather字数:4388更新时间:18/12/26 16:55:51
Thismanunderstoodthingsliterally:onemustlivewithoutpleasuretodiewithoutfear;tosavethesoul,itwasnecessarytostarvethesoul。 ThesunhunglowabovethecornfieldswhenMargaretandhercavalierleftSt。Anne。SouthofthetownthereisastretchofroadthatrunsforsomethreemilesthroughtheFrenchsettlement,wheretheprairieisaslevelasthesurfaceofalake。Therethefieldsofflaxandwheatandryeareborderedbypreciserowsofslender,taperingLombardpoplars。ItwasayellowworldthatMargaretElliotsawunderthewidelightofthesettingsun。 ThegirlgatheredupherreinsandcalledbacktoEric,“Itwillbesafetorunthehorseshere,won’tit?“ “Yes,Ithinkso,now,“heanswered,touchinghisspurtohispony’sflank。Theywereofflikethewind。ItisanoldsayingintheWestthatnewcomersalwaysrideahorseortwotodeathbeforetheygetbrokenintothecountry。Theyaretemptedbythegreatopenspacesandtrytooutridethehorizon,togettotheendofsomething。Margaretgallopedoverthelevelroad,andEric,frombehind,sawherlongveilflutteringinthewind。Ithadflutteredjustsoinhisdreamslastnightandthenightbefore。Withasuddeninspirationofcourageheovertookherandrodebesideher,lookingintentlyatherhalf-avertedface。 Before,hehadonlystolenoccasionalglancesatit,seenitinblindingflashes,alwayswithmoreorlessembarrassment,butnowhedeterminedtoleteverylineofitsinkintohismemory。Menoftheworldwouldhavesaidthatitwasanunusualface,nervous,finelycut,withclear,elegantlinesthatbetokenedancestry。Menofletterswouldhavecalleditahistoricface,andwouldhaveconjecturedatwhatoldpassions,longasleep,whatoldsorrowsforgottentimeoutofmind,doingbattletogetherinagesgone,hadcurvedthosedelicatenostrils,lefttheirunconsciousmemoryinthoseeyes。ButEricreadnomeaninginthesedetails。Tohimthisbeautywassomethingmorethancolourandline;itwasaflashofwhitelight,inwhichonecannotdistinguishcolourbecauseallcoloursarethere。Tohimitwasacompleterevelation,anembodimentofthosedreamsofimpossiblelovelinessthatlingerbyayoungman’spillowonmidsummernights;yet,becauseitheldsomethingmorethantheattractionofhealthandyouthandshapeliness,ittroubledhim,andinitspresencehefeltastheGothsbeforethewhitemarblesintheRomanCapitol,notknowingwhethertheyweremenorgods。Attimeshefeltlikeuncoveringhisheadbeforeit,againthefuryseizedhimtobreakanddespoil,tofindtheclayinthisspirit-thingandstampuponit。Awayfromher,helongedtostrikeoutwithhisarms,andtakeandhold;itmaddenedhimthatthiswomanwhomhecouldbreakinhishandsshouldbesomuchstrongerthanhe。Butnearher,heneverquestionedthisstrength;headmitteditspotentialityasheadmittedthemiraclesoftheBible;itenervatedandconqueredhim。 Tonight,whenherodesoclosetoherthathecouldhavetouchedher,heknewthathemightaswellreachouthishandtotakeastar。 Margaretstirreduneasilyunderhisgazeandturnedquestioninglyinhersaddle。 “Thiswindputsmealittleoutofbreathwhenweridefast,“ shesaid。 Ericturnedhiseyesaway。 “IwanttoaskyouifIgotoNewYorktowork,ifImaybehearmusiclikeyousanglastnight?Ibeenapurtygoodhandtowork,“heasked,timidly。 Margaretlookedathimwithsurprise,andthen,asshestudiedtheoutlineofhisface,pityingly。 “Well,youmight——butyou’dloseagooddealelse。Ishouldn’tlikeyoutogotoNewYork——andbepoor,you’dbeoutofatmosphere,someway,“shesaid,slowly。Inwardlyshewasthinking:Therehewouldbealtogethersordid,impossible——amachinewhowouldcarryone’strunksupstairs,perhaps。Hereheiseveryinchaman,ratherpicturesque;whyisit?“No,“sheaddedaloud,“Ishouldn’tlikethat。“ “ThenInotgo,“saidEric,decidedly。 Margaretturnedherfacetohideasmile。Shewasatrifleamusedandatrifleannoyed。Suddenlyshespokeagain。 “ButI’lltellyouwhatIdowantyoutodo,Eric。IwantyoutodancewithustomorrownightandteachmesomeoftheNorwegiandances;theysayyouknowthemall。Won’tyou?“ EricstraightenedhimselfinhissaddleandhiseyesflashedastheyhaddoneintheLoneStarschoolhousewhenhebrokehisviolinacrosshisknee。 “Yes,Iwill,“hesaid,quietly,andhebelievedthathedeliveredhissoultohellashesaidit。 Theyhadreachedtheroughercountrynow,wheretheroadwoundthroughanarrowcutinoneofthebluffsalongthecreek,whenabeatofhoofsaheadandthesharpneighingofhorsesmadetheponiesstartandEricroseinhisstirrups。Thendownthegulchinfrontofthemandoverthesteepclaybanksthunderedaherdofwildponies,nimbleasmonkeysandwildasrabbits,suchashorse- tradersdriveeastfromtheplainsofMontanatosellinthefarmingcountry。Margaret’sponymadeashrillsound,aneighthatwasalmostascream,andstarteduptheclaybanktomeetthem,allthewildbloodoftherangebreakingoutinaninstant。MargaretcalledtoEricjustashethrewhimselfoutofthesaddleandcaughtherpony’sbit。Butthewirylittleanimalhadgonemadandwaskickingandbitinglikeadevil。Herwildbrothersoftherangewereallabouther,neighing,andpawingtheearth,andstrikingherwiththeirforefeetandsnappingatherflanks。Itwastheoldlibertyoftherangethatthelittlebeastfoughtfor。 “Dropthereinsandholdtight,tight!“Ericcalled,throwingallhisweightuponthebit,strugglingunderthosefranticforefeetthatnowbeatathisbreast,andnowkickedatthewildmustangsthatsurgedandtossedabouthim。Hesucceededinwrenchingthepony’sheadtowardhimandcrowdingherwithersagainsttheclaybank,sothatshecouldnotroll。 “Holdtight,tight!“heshoutedagain,launchingakickatasnortinganimalthatrearedbackagainstMargaret’ssaddle。Ifsheshouldlosehercourageandfallnow,underthosehoofs——Hestruckoutagainandagain,kickingrightandleftwithallhismight。Alreadythenegligentdrivershadgallopedintothecut,andtheirlongquirtswerewhistlingovertheheadsoftheherd。 Assuddenlyasithadcome,thestruggling,franticwaveofwildlifesweptupoutofthegulchandonacrosstheopenprairie,andwithalongdespairingwhinnyoffarewelltheponydroppedherheadandstoodtremblinginhersweat,shakingthefoamandbloodfromherbit。 EricsteppedclosetoMargaret’ssideandlaidhishandonhersaddle。“Youarenothurt?“heasked,hoarsely。Asheraisedhisfaceinthesoftstarlightshesawthatitwaswhiteanddrawnandthathislipswereworkingnervously。 “No,no,notatall。Butyou,youaresuffering;theystruckyou!“shecriedinsharpalarm。 Hesteppedbackanddrewhishandacrosshisbrow。 “No,itisnotthat,“hespokerapidlynow,withhishandsclenchedathisside。“Butiftheyhadhurtyou,Iwouldbeattheirbrainsoutwithmyhands。Iwouldkillthemall。I wasneverafraidbefore。Youaretheonlybeautifulthingthathasevercomeclosetome。Youcamelikeanangeloutofthesky。 Youarelikethemusicyousing,youarelikethestarsandthesnowonthemountainswhereIplayedwhenIwasalittleboy。YouarelikeallthatIwantedonceandneverhad,youareallthattheyhavekilledinme。Idieforyoutonight,tomorrow,foralleternity。Iamnotacoward;IwasafraidbecauseIloveyoumorethanChristwhodiedforme,morethanIamafraidofhell,orhopeforheaven。Iwasneverafraidbefore。Ifyouhadfallen——oh,myGod!“Hethrewhisarmsoutblindlyanddroppedhisheaduponthepony’smane,leaning]implyagainsttheanimallikeamanstruckbysomesickness。Hisshouldersroseandfellperceptiblywithhislabouredbreathing。Thehorsestoodcowedwithexhaustionandfear。PresentlyMargaretlaidherhandonEric’sheadandsaidgently: “Youarebetternow,shallwegoon?Canyougetyourhorse?“ “No,hehasgonewiththeherd。Iwillleadyours,sheisnotsafe。Iwillnotfrightenyouagain。“Hisvoicewasstillhusky,butitwassteadynow。Hetookholdofthebitandtrampedhomeinsilence。 Whentheyreachedthehouse,Ericstoodstolidlybythepony’sheaduntilWylliscametolifthissisterfromthesaddle。 “Thehorseswerebadlyfrightened,Wyllis。IthinkIwasprettythoroughlyscaredmyself,“shesaidasshetookherbrother’sarmandwentslowlyupthehilltowardthehouse。“No,I’mnothurt,thankstoEric。Youmustthankhimfortakingsuchgoodcareofme。He’samightyfinefellow。I’lltellyouallaboutitinthemorning,dear。IwasprettywellshakenupandI’mgoingrighttobednow。Goodnight。“ Whenshereachedthelowroominwhichsheslept,shesankuponthebedinherridingdress,facedownward。 “Oh,Ipityhim!Ipityhim!“shemurmured,withalongsighofexhaustion。Shemusthavesleptalittle。Whensheroseagain,shetookfromherdressaletterthathadbeenwaitingforheratthevillagepost-office。Itwascloselywritteninalong,angularhand,coveringadozenpagesofforeignnote-paper,andbegan: MyDearestMargaret:ifIshouldattempttosayhowlikeawinterhaththineabsencebeen,Ishouldincurtheriskofbeingtedious。Really,ittakesthesparkleoutofeverything。 Havingnothingbettertodo,andnotcaringtogoanywhereinparticularwithoutyou,IremainedinthecityuntilJackCourtwellnotedmygeneraldespondencyandbroughtmedownheretohisplaceonthesoundtomanagesomeopen-airtheatricalsheisgettingup。 AsYouLikeItisofcoursethepieceselected。MissHarrisonplaysRosalind。Iwishyouhadbeenheretotakethepart。MissHarrisonreadsherlineswell,butsheiseitheramaiden-all-forlornoratomboy;insistsonreadingintothepartallsortsofdeepermeaningsandhighlycolouredsuggestionswhollyoutofharmonywiththepastoralsetting。Likemostoftheprofessionals,sheexaggeratestheemotionalelementandquitefailstodojusticetoRosalind’sfacilewitandreallybrilliantmentalqualities。GerardwilldoOrlando,butrumorsaysheiseprisofyoursometimefriend,MissMeredith,andhismemoryistreacherousandhisinterestfitful。