第64章

类别:其他 作者:Haggard, H。 Rider字数:4921更新时间:18/12/26 16:43:37
KNEWthathewasmine,bodyandmind,andthathemustanswerandtruly,sosurelyashemustdiewhenIchosetokillhim。 Hetriedtoshuthislips,buttheyopenedofthemselvesandwordbywordthetruthwasdraggedfromhisblackheartasthoughhestoodalreadybeforethejudgmentseat。 ’Ilovedyourmother,mycousin,’hesaid,speakingslowlyandpainfully;’fromachildIlovedheronlyintheworld,asIlovehertothishour,butshehatedmebecauseIwaswickedandfearedmebecauseIwascruel。 Thenshesawyourfatherandlovedhim,andbroughtabouthisescapefromtheHolyOffice,whitherIhaddeliveredhimtobetorturedandburnt,andfledwithhimtoEngland。 IwasjealousandwouldhavebeenrevengedifImight,buttherewasnoway。 Iledanevillife,andwhennearlytwentyyearshadgoneby,chancetookmetoEnglandonatradingjourney。 BychanceIlearnedthatyourfatherandmotherlivednearYarmouth,andIdeterminedtoseeher,thoughatthattimeIhadnothoughtofkillingher。 Fortunefavouredme,andwemetinthewoodland,andIsawthatshewasstillbeautifulandknewthatI lovedhermorethaneverbefore。 Igaveherchoicetoflywithmeortodie,andafterawhileshedied。 Butassheshrankupthewoodedhillsidebeforemysword,ofasuddenshestoodstillandsaid: ’“Listenbeforeyousmite,Juan。 Ihaveadeathvision。 AsIhavefledfromyou,soshallyouflybeforeoneofmybloodinaplaceoffireandrockandsnow,andasyoudrivemetothegatesofheaven,soheshalldriveyouintothemouthofhell。“’ ’Insuchaplaceasthis,cousin,’Isaid。 ’Insuchaplaceasthis,’hewhispered,glancinground。 ’Continue。’ Againhestrovetobesilent,butagainmywillmasteredhimandhespoke。 ’ItwastoolatetospareherifIwishedtoescapemyself,soI killedherandfled。 Butterrorenteredmyheart,terrorwhichhasneverleftittothishour,foralwaysbeforemyeyeswasthevisionofhimofyourmother’sblood,beforewhomIshouldflyasshefledbeforeme,whoshalldrivemeintothemouthofhell。’ ’Thatmustbeyonder,cousin,’Isaid,pointingwiththeswordtowardthepitofthecrater。 ’Itisyonder;Ihavelooked。’ ’Butonlyforthebody,cousin,notforthespirit。’ ’Onlyforthebody,notforthespirit,’herepeatedafterme。 ’Continue,’Isaid。 ’AfterwardsonthatsamedayImetyou,ThomasWingfield。 Alreadyyourdeadmother’sprophecyhadtakenholdofme,andseeingoneofherbloodIstrovetokillhimlestheshouldkillme。’ ’Ashewilldopresently,cousin。’ ’Ashewilldopresently,’herepeatedlikeatalkingbird。 ’YouknowwhathappenedandhowIescaped。 IfledtoSpainandstrovetoforget。 ButIcouldnot。 OnenightIsawafaceinthestreetsofSevillethatremindedmeofyourface。 Ididnotthinkthatitcouldbeyou,yetsostrongwasmyfearthatIdeterminedtoflytothefarIndies。 YoumetmeonthenightofmyflightwhenIwasbiddingfarewelltoalady。’ ’OneIsabelladeSiguenza,cousin。 Ibadefarewelltoherafterwardsanddeliveredherdyingwordstoyou。 Nowshewaitstowelcomeyouagain,sheandherchild。’ Heshudderedandwenton。 ’Intheoceanwemetagain。 Youroseoutofthesea。 Ididnotdaretokillyouatonce,Ithoughtthatyoumustdieintheslave-holdandthatnonecouldbearwitnessagainstmeandholdmeguiltyofyourblood。 Youdidnotdie,eventheseacouldnotdestroyyou。 ButIthoughtthatyouweredead。 IcametoAnahuacinthetrainofCortesandagainwemet;thattimeyounearlykilledme。 AfterwardsIhadmyrevengeandI torturedyouwell;Imeanttomurderyouonthemorrow,thoughfirstIwouldtortureyou,forterrorcanbeverycruel,butyouescapedme。 Longyearspassed,Iwanderedhitherandthither,toSpain,backtoMexico,andelsewhere,butwhereverIwentmyfear,theghostsofthedead,andmydreamswentwithme,andIwasneverfortunate。 OnlytheotherdayIjoinedthecompanyofDiazasanadventurer。 NottillwereachedtheCityofPinesdidIlearnthatyouwerethecaptainoftheOtomie;itwassaidthatyouwerelongdead。 Youknowtherest。’ ’Whydidyoumurdermyson,cousin?’ ’Washenotofyourmother’sblood,ofthebloodthatshouldbringmydoomuponme,anddidIoweyounorewardforalltheterrorsofthesemanyyears? Moreoverheisfoolishwhostrivestoslaythefatherandsparestheson。 HeisdeadandIamgladthatIkilledhim,thoughhehauntsmenowwiththeothers。’ ’Andshallhauntyoueternally。 Nowletusmakeanend。 Youhaveyoursword,useitifyoucan。 Itwillbeeasiertodiefighting。’ ’Icannot,’hegroaned;’mydoomisuponme。’ ’Asyouwill,’andIcameathim,swordup。 Heranfrombeforeme,movingbackwardsandkeepinghiseyesfixeduponmine,asIhaveseenaratdowhenasnakeisabouttoswallowit。 Nowwewereupontheedgeofthecrater,andlookingoverI sawanawfulsight。 Forthere,somethirtyfeetbeneathus,thered-hotlavaglowingsullenlybeneathashiftingpallofsmoke,rolledandspoutedlikeathingalive。 Jetsofsteamflewupwardsfromitwithascreamingsound,linesofnoxiousvapours,many- coloured,creptandtwistedonitssurface,andahotandhorridstenchpoisonedtheheatedair。 HereindeedwassuchagateasI couldwishfordeGarciatopassthroughtohisownabode。 Ilooked,pointedwithmysword,andlaughed;helookedandshriekedaloud,fornowallhismanhoodhadlefthim,sogreatwashisterrorofwhatlaybeyondtheend。 Yes,thisproudandhaughtySpaniardscreamedandweptandprayedformercy;hewhohaddonesomanyvillaniesbeyondforgiveness,prayedformercythathemightfindtimetorepent。 Istoodandwatchedhim,andsodreadfulwashisaspectthathorrorstruckmeeventhroughthecalmofmyfrozenheart。 ’Come,itistimetofinish,’Isaid,andagainIliftedmysword,onlytoletitfall,forsuddenlyhisbraingavewayanddeGarciawentmadbeforemyeyes! OfallthatfollowedIwillnotwrite。 Withhismadnesscouragecamebacktohim,andhebegantofight,butnotwithME。 Heseemedtoperceivemenomore,butneverthelesshefought,anddesperately,thrustingattheemptyair。 Itwasterribletoseehimthusdoingbattlewithhisinvisiblefoes,andtohearhisscreamsandcurses,asinchbyinchtheydrovehimbacktotheedgeofthecrater。 Herehestoodawhile,likeonewhomakesalaststandagainstoverpoweringstrength,thrustingandstrikingfuriously。 Twicehenearlyfell,asthoughbeneathamortalwound,butrecoveringhimself,foughtonwithNothingness。 Then,withasharpcry,suddenlyhethrewhisarmswide,asamandoeswhoispiercedthroughtheheart;hissworddroppedfromhishand,andhefellbackwardsintothepit。 Iturnedawaymyeyes,forIwishedtoseenomore;butoftenI havewonderedWhoorWhatitwasthatdealtdeGarciahisdeathwound。 ThusthendidIaccomplishthevengeancethatIhadsworntomyfatherIwouldwreakupondeGarcia,orrather,thusdidIwitnessitsaccomplishment,forintheendhedied,terriblyenough,notbymyhandbutbythoseofhisownfears。 SincethenIhavesorrowedforthis,for,whenthefrozenandunnaturalcalmpassedfrommymind,Ihatedhimasbitterlyasever,andgrievedthatIlethimdieotherwisethanbymyhand,andtothishoursuchismymindtowardshim。 Doubtless,manymaythinkitwicked,sincewearetaughttoforgiveourenemies,buthereIleavetheforgivenesstoGod,forhowcanIpardononewhobetrayedmyfathertothepriests,whomurderedmymotherandmyson,whochainedmeintheslave-shipandformanyhourstorturedmewithhisownhand? Rather,yearbyyear,doIhatehimmore。 Iwriteofthisatsomelength,sincethematterhasbeenatroubletome。 InevercouldsaythatIwasincharitywithallmenlivinganddead,andbecauseofthis,someyearssince,aworthyandlearnedrectorofthisparishtookuponhimselftorefusemetheritesofthechurch。 ThenIwenttothebishopandlaidthestorybeforehim,anditpuzzledhimsomewhat。 Buthewasamanoflargemind,andintheendherebukedtherectorandcommandedhimtoministertome,forhethoughtwithmethattheAlmightycouldnotaskofanerringman,thatheshouldforgiveonewhohadwroughtsuchevilsonhimandhis,eventhoughthatenemyweredeadandgonetojudgmentinanotherplace。 Butenoughofthisquestionofconscience。 WhendeGarciawasgoneintothepit,Iturnedmystepshomewards,orrathertowardstheruinedcitywhichIcouldseebeneathme,forIhadnohomeleft。 NowImustdescendtheicecap,andthisI foundlesseasythanclimbingithadbeen,for,myvengeancebeingaccomplished,Ibecameasothermenare,andasadandwearyoneatthat,sosadindeedthatIshouldnothavesorrowedgreatlyifI hadmadeafalsestepupontheice。 ButImadenone,andatlengthIcametothesnowwherethetravellingwaseasy。 Myoathwasfulfilledandmyvengeancewasaccomplished,butasIwentIreckonedupthecost。 Ihadlostmybetrothed,theloveofmyyouth;fortwentyyearsIhadlivedasavagechiefamongsavagesandmadeacquaintancewitheveryhardship,weddedtoawomanwho,althoughshelovedmedearly,anddidnotlacknobilityofmind,asshehadshowntheotherday,wasstillatheartasavageor,attheleast,athrallofdemongods。 ThetribethatIruledwasconquered,thebeautifulcitywhereI dweltwasaruin,Iwashomelessandabeggar,andmyfortunewouldbegreatifintheissueIescapeddeathorslavery。 AllthisI couldhaveborne,forIhadbornethelikebefore,butthecruelendofmylastsurvivingson,theonetruejoyofmydesolatelife,Icouldnotbear。 Theloveofthosechildrenhadbecomethepassionofmymiddleage,andasIlovedthemsotheyhadlovedme。 IhadtrainedthemfrombabyhoodtilltheirheartswereEnglishandnotAztec,asweretheirspeechandfaith,andthustheywerenotonlymydearchildren,butcompanionsofmyownrace,theonlyonesIhad。 Andnowbyaccident,bysickness,andbythesword,theyweredeadthethreeofthem,andIwasdesolate。 Ah!wethinkmuchofthesorrowsofouryouth,andshouldasweetheartgiveusthegobywefilltheworldwithmoansandswearthatitholdsnocomfortforus。 Butwhenwebendourheadsbeforetheshroudedshapeofsomelostchild,thenitisthatforthefirsttimewelearnhowterriblegriefcanbe。 Time,theytellus,willbringconsolation,butitisfalse,forsuchsorrowstimehasnosalves——Isayitwhoamold——astheyaresotheyshallbe。 Thereisnohopebutfaith,thereisnocomfortsaveinthetruththatlovewhichmighthavewitheredontheearthgrowsfastestinthetomb,toflowergloriouslyinheaven;thatnoloveindeedcanbeperfecttillGodsanctifiesandcompletesitwithHissealofdeath。 IthrewmyselfdownthereuponthedesolatesnowsofXaca,thatnonehadtrodbefore,andweptsuchtearsasamanmayweepbutonceinhislifedays。 ’OmysonAbsalom,myson,mysonAbsalom!wouldGodIhaddiedforthee,OAbsalom,myson,myson!’Icriedwiththeancientking——I whosegriefwasgreaterthanhis,forhadInotlostthreesonswithinasmanyyears? Thenrememberingthatasthiskinghadgonetojoinhissonlongcenturiesago,soImustonedaygotojoinmine,andtakingsuchcomfortfromthethoughtasmaybefoundinit,IroseandcreptbacktotheruinedCityofPines。 ItwasnearsunsetwhenIcamethither,fortheroadwaslongandI grewweak。 BythepalaceImettheCaptainDiazandsomeofhiscompany,andtheyliftedtheirbonnetstomeasIwentby,fortheyhadrespectformysorrows。 OnlyDiazspoke,saying: ’Isthemurdererdead?’