第14章

类别:其他 作者:Haggard, H。 Rider字数:4819更新时间:18/12/26 16:43:37
FormanymonthsweheardnomoreofdeGarciaorofIsabelladeSiguenza。 Bothhadvanishedleavingnosign,andwesearchedfortheminvain。 AsformeIfellbackintomyformerwayoflifeofassistanttoFonseca,posingbeforetheworldashisnephew。 Butitcameaboutthatfromthenightofmyduelwiththemurderer,mymaster’shealthdeclinedsteadilythroughtheactionofawastingdiseaseoftheliverwhichbaffledallskill,sothatwithineightmonthsofthattimehelayalmostbedriddenandatthepointofdeath。 Hismindindeedremainedquiteclear,andonoccasionshewouldevenreceivethosewhocametoconsulthim,recliningonachairandwrappedinhisembroideredrobe。 Butthehandofdeathlayonhim,andheknewthatitwasso。 Astheweekswentbyhegrewmoreandmoreattachedtome,tillatlength,hadIbeenhisson,hecouldnothavetreatedmewithagreateraffection,whileformypartIdidwhatlayinmypowertolessenhissufferings,forhewouldletnootherphysiciannearhim。 Atlengthwhenhehadgrownveryfeebleheexpressedadesiretoseeanotary。 Themanhenamedwassentforandremainedclosetedwithhimforanhourormore,whenheleftforawhiletoreturnwithseveralofhisclerks,whoaccompaniedhimtomymaster’sroom,fromwhichIwasexcluded。 Presentlytheyallwentaway,bearingsomeparchmentswiththem。 ThateveningFonsecasentforme。 Ifoundhimveryweak,butcheerfulandfulloftalk。 ’Comehere,nephew,’hesaid,’Ihavehadabusyday。 Ihavebeenbusyallmylifethrough,anditwouldnotbewelltogrowidleatthelast。 DoyouknowwhatIhavebeendoingthisday?’ Ishookmyhead。 ’Iwilltellyou。 Ihavebeenmakingmywill——thereissomethingtoleave;notsoverymuch,butstillsomething。’ ’Donottalkofwills,’Isaid;’Itrustthatyoumayliveformanyyears。’ Helaughed。 ’Youmustthinkbadlyofmycase,nephew,whenyouthinkthatIcanbedeceivedthus。 Iamabouttodieasyouknowwell,andIdonotfeardeath。 Mylifehasbeenprosperousbutnothappy,foritwasblightedinitsspring——nomatterhow。 Thestoryisanoldoneandnotworthtelling;moreover,whicheverwayithadread,ithadallbeenonenowinthehourofdeath。 Wemusttravelourjourneyeachofus;whatdoesitmatteriftheroadhasbeengoodorbadwhenwehavereachedthegoal? Formypartreligionneithercomfortsnorfrightensmenowatthelast。 Iwillstandorfallupontherecordofmylife。 IhavedoneevilinitandIhavedonegood;theevilIhavedonebecausenatureandtemptationhavebeentoostrongformeattimes,thegoodalsobecausemyheartpromptedmetoit。 Well,itisfinished,andafteralldeathcannotbesoterrible,seeingthateveryhumanbeingisborntoundergoit,togetherwithalllivingthings。 Whateverelseisfalse,Iholdthistobetrue,thatGodexistsandismoremercifulthanthosewhopreachHimwouldhaveustobelieve。’ Andheceasedexhausted。 OftensincethenIhavethoughtofhiswords,andIstillthinkofthemnowthatmyownhourissonear。 AswillbeseenFonsecawasafatalist,abeliefwhichIdonotaltogethershare,holdingasI dothatwithincertainlimitsweareallowedtoshapeourowncharactersanddestinies。 ButhislastsayingsIbelievetobetrue。 Godisandismerciful,anddeathisnotterribleeitherinitsactorinitsconsequence。 PresentlyFonsecaspokeagain。 ’Whydoyouleadmetotalkofsuchthings? TheywearymeandIhavelittletime。 Iwastellingofmywill。 Nephew,listen。 ExceptcertainsumsthatIhavegiventobespentincharities——notinmasses,mindyou——IhaveleftyouallI possess。’ ’YouhaveleftittoME!’Isaidastonished。 ’Yes,nephew,toyou。 Whynot? IhavenorelationslivingandI havelearnedtoloveyou,IwhothoughtthatIcouldnevercareagainforanymanorwomanorchild。 Iamgratefultoyou,whohaveprovedtomethatmyheartisnotdead,takewhatIgiveyouasamarkofmygratitude。’ NowIbegantostammermythanks,buthestoppedme。 ’Thesumthatyouwillinherit,nephew,amountsinalltoaboutfivethousandgoldpesos,orperhapstwelvethousandofyourEnglishpounds,enoughforayoungmantobeginlifeon,evenwithawife。 IndeedthereinEnglanditmaywellbeheldagreatfortune,andIthinkthatyourbetrothed’sfatherwillmakenomoreobjectiontoyouasason-in-law。 Alsothereisthishouseandallthatitcontains; thelibraryandthesilverarevaluable,andyouwilldowelltokeepthem。 Allislefttoyouwiththefullestformality,sothatnoquestioncanariseastoyourrighttotakeit;indeed,foreseeingmyend,Ihaveoflatecalledinmymoneys,andforthemostpartthegoldliesinstrongboxesinthesecretcupboardinthewallyonderthatyouknowof。 ItwouldhavebeenmorehadI knownyousomeyearsago,forthen,thinkingthatIgrewtoorichwhowaswithoutanheir,Igaveawayasmuchaswhatremainsinactsofmercyandinprovidingrefugeforthehomelessandthesuffering。 ThomasWingfield,forthemostpartthismoneyhascometomeasthefruitofhumanfollyandhumanwretchedness,frailtyandsin。 Useitforthepurposesofwisdomandtheadvancingofrightandliberty。 Mayitprosperyou,andremindyouofme,youroldmaster,theSpanishquack,tillatlastyoupassitontoyourchildrenorthepoor。 Andnowonewordmore。 Ifyourconsciencewillletyou,abandonthepursuitofdeGarcia。 TakeyourfortuneandgowithittoEngland;wedthatmaidwhomyoudesire,andfollowafterhappinessinwhateverwayseemsbesttoyou。 WhoareyouthatyoushouldmeetoutvengeanceonthisknavedeGarcia? Lethimbe,andhewillavengehimselfuponhimself。 Otherwiseyoumayundergomuchtoilanddanger,andintheendloselove,andlife,andfortuneatablow。’ ’ButIhavesworntokillhim,’Ianswered,’andhowcanIbreaksosolemnanoath? HowcouldIsitathomeinpeacebeneaththeburdenofsuchshame?’ ’Idonotknow;itisnotformetojudge。 Youmustdoasyouwish,butinthedoingofit,itmayhappenthatyouwillfallintogreatershamesthanthis。 Youhavefoughtthemanandhehasescapedyou。 Lethimgoifyouarewise。 Nowbenddownandkissme,andbidmefarewell。 Idonotdesirethatyoushouldseemedie,andmydeathisnear。 IcannottellifweshallmeetagainwheninyourturnyouhavelainasIlienow,orifweshapeourcoursefordifferentstars。 Ifso,farewellforever。’ ThenIleantdownandkissedhimontheforehead,andasIdidsoI wept,fornottillthishourdidIlearnhowtrulyIhadcometolovehim,sotrulythatitseemedtomeasthoughmyfatherlaytheredying。 ’Weepnot,’hesaid,’forallourlifeisbutaparting。 OnceI hadasonlikeyou,andourswasthebitterestoffarewells。 NowI gotoseekforhimagainwhocouldnotcomebacktome,soweepnotbecauseIdie。 Good-bye,ThomasWingfield。 MayGodprosperandprotectyou! Nowgo!’ SoIwentweeping,andthatnight,beforethedawn,allwasoverwithAndresdeFonseca。 Theytoldmethathewasconscioustotheendanddiedmurmuringthenameofthatsonofwhomhespokeinhislastwordstome。 Whatwasthehistoryofthisson,orofFonsecahimself,Ineverlearned,forlikeanIndianhehidhistrailasstepbystephewandereddownthepathoflife。 Heneverspokeofhispast,andinallthebooksanddocumentsthatheleftbehindhimthereisnoallusiontoit。 Once,someyearsago,IreadthroughtheciphervolumesofrecordsthatIhavespokenof,andofwhichhegavemethekeybeforehedied。 TheystandbeforemeontheshelfasI write,andinthemaremanyhistoriesofshame,sorrow,andevil,offaithdeludedandinnocencebetrayed,ofthecrueltyofpriests,ofavaricetriumphantoverlove,andoflovetriumphantoverdeath—— enough,indeed,tofurnishhalfahundredoftrueromances。 Butamongthesechroniclesofagenerationnowpastandforgotten,thereisnomentionofFonseca’sownnameandnohintofhisownstory。 Itislostforever,andperhapsthisiswell。 Sodiedmybenefactorandbestfriend。 WhenhewasmadereadyforburialIwentintoseehimandhelookedcalmandbeautifulinhisdeathsleep。 Thenitwasthatshewhohadarrayedhimforthegravehandedtometwoportraitsmostdelicatelypaintedonivoryandsetingold,whichhadbeenfoundabouthisneck。 Ihavethemyet。 Oneisoftheheadofaladywithasweetandwistfulcountenance,andtheotherthefaceofadeadyouthalsobeautiful,butverysad。 Doubtlesstheyweremotherandson,butIknownomoreaboutthem。 OnthemorrowIburiedAndresdeFonseca,butwithnopomp,forhehadsaidthathewishedaslittlemoneyaspossiblespentuponhisdeadbody,andreturnedtothehousetomeetthenotaries。 ThenthesealswerebrokenandtheparchmentsreadandIwasputinfullpossessionofthedeadman’swealth,andhavingdeductedsuchsumsaswerepayablefordues,legacies,andfees,thenotariesleftmebowinghumbly,forwasInotrich? Yes,Iwasrich,wealthhadcometomewithouteffort,andIhadreasontodesireit,yetthiswasthesaddestnightthatIhadpassedsinceIsetfootinSpain,formymindwasfilledwithdoubtsandsorrow,andmoreovermylonelinessgotaholdofme。 Butsadasitmightbe,itwasdestinedtoseemyetmoresorrowfulbeforethemorning。 ForasI satmakingpretencetoeat,aservantcametomesayingthatawomanwaitedintheouterroomwhohadaskedtoseehislatemaster。 GuessingthatthiswassomeclientwhohadnotheardofFonseca’sdeathIwasabouttoorderthatsheshouldbedismissed,thenbethoughtmethatImightbeofservicetoherorattheleastforgetsomeofmyowntroubleinlisteningtohers。 SoIbadehimbringherin。 Presentlyshecame,atallwomanwrappedinadarkcloakthathidherface。 Ibowedandmotionedtohertobeseated,whensuddenlyshestartedandspoke。 ’IaskedtoseeDonAndresdeFonseca,’shesaidinalowquickvoice。 ’Youarenothe,senor。’ ’AndresdeFonsecawasburiedto-day,’Ianswered。 ’Iwashisassistantinhisbusinessandamhisheir。 IfIcanserveyouinanywayIamatyourdisposal。’ ’Youareyoung——veryyoung,’shemurmuredconfusedly,’andthematteristerribleandurgent。 HowcanItrustyou?’ ’Itisforyoutojudge,senora。’ Shethoughtawhile,thendrewoffhercloak,displayingtherobesofanun。 ’Listen,’shesaid。 ’Imustdomanyapenanceforthisnight’swork,andveryhardlyhaveIwonleavetocomehitheruponanerrandofmercy。 NowIcannotgobackempty-handed,soImusttrustyou。 ButfirstswearbythineblessedMotherofGodthatyouwillnotbetrayme。’ ’Igiveyoumyword,’Ianswered;’ifthatisnotenough,letusendthistalk。’ ’Donotbeangrywithme,’shepleaded;’IhavenotleftmyconventwallsformanyyearsandIamdistraughtwithgrief。 Iseekapoisonofthedeadliest。 Iwillpaywellforit。’ ’Iamnotthetoolofmurderers,’Ianswered。 ’Forwhatpurposedoyouwishthepoison?’ ’Oh!Imusttellyou——yethowcanI? Inourconventtherediesto- nightawomanyoungandfair,almostagirlindeed,whohasbrokenthevowsshetook。 Shediesto-nightwithherbabe——thus,ohGod,thus!bybeingbuiltaliveintothefoundationsofthehouseshehasdisgraced。 Itisthejudgmentthathasbeenpasseduponher,judgmentwithoutforgivenessorreprieve。 Iamtheabbessofthisconvent——asknotitsnameormine——andIlovethissinnerasthoughsheweremydaughter。