第37章

类别:其他 作者:Anonymous字数:5782更新时间:18/12/22 09:18:57
Anniehadbutgiventheslightestpossibletouch,withthepointof aneedle,tothesameminuteportionofcomplicatedmachinerywhich hasbeenmorethanoncementioned,whentheartistseizedherbythe wristwithaforcethatmadeherscreamaloud。Shewasaffrightedat theconvulsionofintenserageandanguishthatwrithedacrosshis features。Thenextinstanthelethisheadsinkuponhishands。 “Go,Annie。”murmuredhe,“Ihavedeceivedmyself,andmust sufferforit。Iyearnedforsympathy-andthought-andfancied-and dreamed-thatyoumightgiveitme。Butyoulackthetalisman, Annie,thatshouldadmityouintomysecrets。Thattouchhasundone thetoilofmonths,andthethoughtofalifetime!Itwasnotyour fault,Annie-butyouhaveruinedme!” PoorOwenWarland!Hehadindeederred,yetpardonably;forif anyhumanspiritcouldhavesufficientlyreverencedtheprocessesso sacredinhiseyes,itmusthavebeenawoman’s。EvenAnnie Hovenden,possibly,mightnothavedisappointedhim,hadshebeen enlightenedbythedeepintelligenceoflove。 Theartistspenttheensuingwinterinawaythatsatisfiedany persons,whohadhithertoretainedahopefulopinionofhim,thathe was,intruth,irrevocablydoomedtoinutilityasregardedthe world,andtoanevildestinyonhisownpart。Thedeceaseofa relativehadputhiminpossessionofasmallinheritance。Thus freedfromthenecessityoftoil,andhavinglostthesteadfast influenceofagreatpurpose-great,atleast,tohim-heabandoned himselftohabitsfromwhich,itmighthavebeensupposed,themere delicacyofhisorganizationwouldhaveavailedtosecurehim。But whentheetherealportionofamanofgeniusisobscured,the earthlypartassumesaninfluencethemoreuncontrollable,becausethe characterisnowthrownoffthebalancetowhichProvidencehadso nicelyadjustedit,andwhich,incoarsernatures,isadjustedbysome othermethod。OwenWarlandmadeproofofwhatevershowofblissmaybe foundinriot。Helookedattheworldthroughthegoldenmediumof wine,andcontemplatedthevisionsthatbubbleupsogailyaround thebrimoftheglass,andthatpeopletheairwithshapesofpleasant madness,whichsosoongrowghostlyandforlorn。Evenwhenthisdismal andinevitablechangehadtakenplace,theyoungmanmightstill havecontinuedtoquaffthecupofenchantments,thoughitsvapor didbutshroudlifeingloom,andfillthegloomwithspectresthat mockedathim。Therewasacertainirksomenessofspirit,which,being real,andthedeepestsensationofwhichtheartistwasnowconscious, wasmoreintolerablethananyfantasticmiseriesandhorrorsthat theabuseofwinecouldsummonup。Inthelattercase,hecould remember,evenoutofthemidstofhistrouble,thatallwasbuta delusion;intheformer,theheavyanguishwashisactuallife。 Fromthisperilousstate,hewasredeemedbyanincidentwhichmore thanonepersonwitnessed,butofwhichtheshrewdestcouldnot explainnorconjecturetheoperationonOwenWarland’smind。Itwas verysimple。OnawarmafternoonofSpring,astheartistsatamong hisriotouscompanions,withaglassofwinebeforehim,asplendid butterflyflewinattheopenwindow,andflutteredabouthishead。 “Ah!”exclaimedOwen,whohaddrunkfreely,“areyoualiveagain, childofthesun,andplaymateofthesummerbreeze,afteryourdismal winter’snap!Thenitistimeformetobeatwork!” Andleavinghisunemptiedglassuponthetable,hedeparted,and wasneverknowntosipanotherdropofwine。 Andnow,again,heresumedhiswanderingsinthewoodsand fields。Itmightbefanciedthatthebrightbutterfly,whichhad comesospiritlikeintothewindow,asOwensatwiththerude revellers,wasindeedaspirit,commissionedtorecallhimtothe pure,ideallifethathadsoetherealisedhimamongmen。Itmightbe fancied,thathewentforthtoseekthisspirit,initssunny haunts;forstill,asinthesummer-timegoneby,hewasseentosteal gentlyup,whereverabutterflyhadalighted,andlosehimselfin contemplationofit。Whenittookflight,hiseyesfollowedthewinged vision,asifitsairytrackwouldshowthepathtoheaven。Butwhat couldbethepurposeoftheunseasonabletoil,whichwasagain resumed,asthewatchmanknewbythelinesoflamp-lightthroughthe crevicesofOwenWarland’sshutters?Thetownspeoplehadone comprehensiveexplanationofallthesesingularities。OwenWarlandhad gonemad!Howuniversallyefficacious-howsatisfactory,too,and soothingtotheinjuredsensibilityofnarrownessanddullness-is thiseasymethodofaccountingforwhateverliesbeyondtheworld’s mostordinaryscope!FromSaintPaul’sdays,downtoourpoorlittle ArtistoftheBeautiful,thesametalismanhadbeenappliedtothe elucidationofallmysteriesinthewordsordeedsofmen,whospoke oractedtoowiselyortoowell。InOwenWarland’scase,the judgmentofhistownspeoplemayhavebeencorrect。Perhapshewasmad。 Thelackofsympathy-thatcontrastbetweenhimselfandhisneighbors, whichtookawaytherestraintofexample-wasenoughtomakehimso。 Or,possibly,hehadcaughtjustsomuchofetherealradianceas servedtobewilderhim,inanearthlysense,byitsintermixture withthecommondaylight。 Oneevening,whentheartisthadreturnedfromacustomary ramble,andhadjustthrownthelustreofhislamponthedelicate pieceofwork,soofteninterrupted,butstilltakenupagain,asif hisfatewereembodiedinitsmechanism,hewassurprisedbythe entranceofoldPeterHovenden。Owennevermetthismanwithouta shrinkingoftheheart。Ofalltheworld,hewasmostterrible,by reasonofakeenunderstanding,whichsawsodistinctlywhatitdid see,anddisbelievedsouncompromisinglyinwhatitcouldnotsee。 Onthisoccasion,theoldwatchmakerhadmerelyagraciouswordortwo tosay。 “Owen,mylad。”saidhe,“wemustseeyouatmyhousetomorrow night。” Theartistbegantomuttersomeexcuse。 “Oh,butitmustbeso。”quothPeterHovenden,“forthesakeofthe dayswhenyouwereoneofthehousehold。What,myboy,don’tyou knowthatmydaughterAnnieisengagedtoRobertDanforth?Weare makinganentertainment,inourhumbleway,tocelebratetheevent。” “Ah!”saidOwen。 Thatlittlemonosyllablewasallheuttered;itstoneseemedcold andunconcerned,toanearlikePeterHovenden’s;andyettherewasin itthestifledoutcryofthepoorartist’sheart,whichhe compressedwithinhimlikeamanholdingdownanevilspirit。One slightout-break,however,imperceptibletotheoldwatchmaker,he allowedhimself。Raisingtheinstrumentwithwhichhewasaboutto beginhiswork,heletitfalluponthelittlesystemofmachinery thathad,anew,costhimmonthsofthoughtandtoil。Itwas shatteredbythestroke! OwenWarland’sstorywouldhavebeennotolerablerepresentationof thetroubledlifeofthosewhostrivetocreatetheBeautiful,if, amidallotherthwartinginfluences,lovehadnotinterposedto stealthecunningfromhishand。Outwardlyhehadbeennoardentor enterprisinglover;thecareerofhispassionhadconfineditstumults andvicissitudessoentirelywithintheartist’simagination,that Annieherselfhadscarcelymorethanawoman’sintuitiveperceptionof it。But,inOwen’sview,itcoveredthewholefieldofhislife。 Forgetfulofthetimewhenshehadshownherselfincapableofanydeep response,hehadpersistedinconnectingallhisdreamsof artisticalsuccesswithAnnie’simage;shewasthevisibleshapein whichthespiritualpowerthatheworshipped,andonwhosealtarhe hopedtolayanotunworthyoffering,wasmademanifesttohim。Of coursehehaddeceivedhimself;therewerenosuchattributesinAnnie Hovendenashisimaginationhadendowedherwith。She,intheaspect whichsheworetohisinwardvision,wasasmuchacreationofhis own,asthemysteriouspieceofmechanismwouldbewereitever realized。Hadhebecomeconvincedofhismistakethroughthemediumof successfullove;hadhewonAnnietohisbosom,andtherebeheldher fadefromangelintoordinarywoman,thedisappointmentmighthave drivenhimback,withconcentratedenergy,uponhissoleremaining object。Ontheotherhand,hadhefoundAnniewhathefancied,hislot wouldhavebeensorichinbeauty,thatoutofitsmereredundancy hemighthavewroughttheBeautifulintomanyaworthiertypethan hehadtoiledfor。Buttheguiseinwhichhissorrowcametohim, thesensethattheangelofhislifehadbeensnatchedawayand giventoarudemanofearthandiron,whocouldneitherneednor appreciateherministrations;thiswastheveryperversityoffate, thatmakeshumanexistenceappeartooabsurdandcontradictorytobe thesceneofoneotherhopeoroneotherfear。Therewasnothing leftforOwenWarlandbuttositdownlikeamanthathadbeen stunned。 Hewentthroughafitofillness。Afterhisrecovery,hissmalland slenderframeassumedanobtusergarnitureoffleshthanithadever beforeworn。Histhincheeksbecameround;hisdelicatelittlehand, sospirituallyfashionedtoachievefairytask-work,grewplumperthan thehandofathrivinginfant。Hisaspecthadachildishness,such asmighthaveinducedastrangertopathimonthehead-pausing, however,intheact,towonderwhatmannerofchildwashere。Itwas asifthespirithadgoneoutofhim,leavingthebodytoflourish inasortofvegetableexistence。NotthatOwenWarlandwasidiotic。 Hecouldtalk,andnotirrationally。Somewhatofababbler,indeed, didpeoplebegintothinkhim;forhewasapttodiscourseat wearisomelength,ofmarvelsofmechanismthathehadreadaboutin books,butwhichhehadlearnedtoconsiderasabsolutelyfabulous。 AmongthemheenumeratedtheManofBrass,constructedbyAlbertus Magnus,andtheBrazenHeadofFriarBacon;and,comingdownto latertimes,theautomataofalittlecoachandhorses,which,it waspretended,hadbeenmanufacturedfortheDauphinofFrance; togetherwithaninsectthatbuzzedabouttheearlikealivingfly, andyetwasbutacontrivanceofminutesteelsprings。Therewasa story,too,ofaduckthatwaddled,andquacked,andate;though, hadanyhonestcitizenpurchaseditfordinner,hewouldhavefound himselfcheatedwiththemeremechanicalapparitionofaduck。 “Butalltheseaccounts。”saidOwenWarland,“Iamnowsatisfied, aremereimpositions。” Then,inamysteriousway,hewouldconfessthatheoncethought differently。Inhisidleanddreamydayshehadconsideredit possible,inacertainsense,tospiritualizemachinery;andto combinewiththenewspeciesoflifeandmotion,thusproduced,a beautythatshouldattaintotheideal,whichNaturehasproposedto herself,inallhercreatures,buthasnevertakenpainstorealize。 Heseemed,however,toretainnoverydistinctperceptioneitherof theprocessofachievingthisobject,orofthedesignitself。 “Ihavethrownitallasidenow。”hewouldsay。“Itwasadream, suchasyoungmenarealwaysmystifyingthemselveswith。NowthatI haveacquiredalittlecommonsense,itmakesmelaughtothinkofit。 Poor,poor,andfallenOwenWarland!Thesewerethesymptomsthat hehadceasedtobeaninhabitantofthebetterspherethatlies unseenaroundus。Hehadlosthisfaithintheinvisible,andnow pridedhimself,assuchunfortunatesinvariablydo,inthewisdom whichrejectedmuchthatevenhiseyecouldsee,andtrusted confidentlyinnothingbutwhathishandcouldtouch。Thisisthe calamityofmenwhosespiritualpartdiesoutofthem,andleaves thegrosserunderstandingtoassimilatethemmoreandmoretothe thingsofwhichaloneitcantakecognizance。But,inOwenWarland, thespiritwasnotdead,norpastaway;itonlyslept。 Howitawokeagain,isnotrecorded。Perhaps,thetorpidslumber wasbrokenbyaconvulsivepain。Perhaps,asinaformerinstance,the butterflycameandhoveredabouthishead,andreinspiredhim-as, indeed,thiscreatureofthesunshinehadalwaysamysterious missionfortheartist-reinspiredhimwiththeformerpurposeof hislife。Whetheritwerepainorhappinessthatthrilledthrough hisveins,hisfirstimpulsewastothankHeavenforrenderinghim againthebeingofthought,imagination,andkeenestsensibility,that hehadlongceasedtobe。 “Nowformytask。”saidhe。“NeverdidIfeelsuchstrengthfor itasnow。” Yet,strongashefelthimself,hewasincitedtotoilthemore diligently,byananxietylestdeathshouldsurprisehiminthe midstofhislabors。Thisanxiety,perhaps,iscommontoallmenwho settheirheartsuponanythingsohigh,intheirownviewofit, thatlifebecomesofimportanceonlyasconditionaltoits accomplishment。Solongaswelovelifeforitself,weseldomdread thelosingit。Whenwedesirelifefortheattainmentofanobject,we recognizethefrailtyofitstexture。But,sidebysidewiththis senseofinsecurity,thereisavitalfaithinourinvulnerability totheshaftofdeath,whileengagedinanytaskthatseemsassigned byProvidenceasourproperthingtodo,andwhichtheworldwould havecausetomournfor,shouldweleaveitunaccomplished。Canthe philosopher,bigwiththeinspirationofanideathatistoreform mankind,believethatheistobebeckonedfromthissensible existence,attheveryinstantwhenheismusteringhisbreathto speakthewordoflight?Shouldheperishso,thewearyagesmay