第38章

类别:其他 作者:Samuel Butler字数:4674更新时间:18/12/21 17:25:17
Ineedhardlysaythatthecalmwasonlyonthesurface。Oldermen,whoknewmorethanundergraduateswerelikelytodo,musthaveseenthatthewaveofscepticismwhichhadalreadybrokenoverGermanywassettingtowardsourownshores,norwasitlong,indeed,beforeitreachedthem。Ernesthadhardlybeenordainedbeforethreeworksinquicksuccessionarrestedtheattentionevenofthosewhopaidleastheedtotheologicalcontroversy。Imean“EssaysandReviews。” CharlesDarwin’s“OriginofSpecies。”andBishopColenso’s“CriticismsonthePentateuch。” This,however,isadigression;ImustreverttotheonephaseofspiritualactivitywhichhadanylifeinitduringthetimeErnestwasatCambridge,thatistosay,totheremainsoftheEvangelicalawakeningofmorethanagenerationearlier,whichwasconnectedwiththenameofSimeon。 TherewerestillagoodmanySimeonites,orastheyweremorebrieflycalled“Sims。”inErnest’stime。Everycollegecontainedsomeofthem,buttheirheadquarterswereatCaius,whithertheywereattractedbyMrClaytonwhowasatthattimeseniortutor,andamongthesizarsofStJohn’s。 Behindthethenchapelofthislast-namedcollege,therewasa“labyrinth“(thiswasthenameitbore)ofdingy,tumble-downrooms,tenantedexclusivelybythepoorestundergraduates,whoweredependentuponsizarshipsandscholarshipsforthemeansoftakingtheirdegrees。Tomany,evenatStJohn’s,theexistenceandwhereaboutsofthelabyrinthinwhichthesizarschieflylivedwasunknown;somemeninErnest’stime,whohadroomsinthefirstcourt,hadneverfoundtheirwaythroughthesinuouspassagewhichledtoit。 Inthelabyrinththeredweltmenofallages,frommereladstogrey-hairedoldmenwhohadenteredlateinlife。Theywererarelyseenexceptinhallorchapeloratlecture,wheretheirmannersoffeeding,prayingandstudying,wereconsideredalikeobjectionable; nooneknewwhencetheycame,whithertheywent,norwhattheydid,fortheynevershowedatcricketortheboats;theywereagloomy,seedy-lookingconferie,whohadaslittletogloryininclothesandmannersasinthefleshitself。 Ernestandhisfriendsusedtoconsiderthemselvesmarvelsofeconomyforgettingonwithsolittlemoney,butthegreaternumberofdwellersinthelabyrinthwouldhaveconsideredone-halfoftheirexpendituretobeanexceedingmeasureofaffluence,andsodoubtlessanydomestictyrannywhichhadbeenexperiencedbyErnestwasasmallthingtowhattheaverageJohniansizarhadhadtoputupwith。 Afewwouldatonceemergeonitsbeingfoundaftertheirfirstexaminationthattheywerelikelytobeornamentstothecollege; thesewouldwinvaluablescholarshipsthatenabledthemtoliveinsomedegreeofcomfort,andwouldamalgamatewiththemorestudiousofthosewhowereinabettersocialposition,buteventhese,withfewexceptions,werelonginshakingofftheuncouthnesstheybroughtwiththemtotheUniversity,norwouldtheiroriginceasetobeeasilyrecognisabletilltheyhadbecomedonsandtutors。Ihaveseensomeofthesemenattainhighpositionintheworldofpoliticsorscience,andyetstillretainalookoflabyrinthandJohniansizarship。 Unprepossessingthen,infeature,gaitandmanners,unkemptandill- dressedbeyondwhatcanbeeasilydescribed,thesepoorfellowsformedaclassapart,whosethoughtsandwayswerenotasthethoughtsandwaysofErnestandhisfriends,anditwasamongthemthatSimeonismchieflyflourished。 DestinedmostofthemfortheChurch(forinthosedays“holyorders“wereseldomheardof),theSimeonitesheldthemselvestohavereceivedaveryloudcalltotheministry,andwerereadytopinchthemselvesforyearssoastoprepareforitbythenecessarytheologicalcourses。Tomostofthemthefactofbecomingclergymenwouldbetheentreeintoasocialpositionfromwhichtheywereatpresentkeptoutbybarrierstheywellknewtobeimpassable; ordination,therefore,openedfieldsforambitionwhichmadeitthecentralpointintheirthoughts,ratherthanaswithErnest,somethingwhichhesupposedwouldhavetobedonesomeday,butaboutwhich,asaboutdying,hehopedtherewasnoneedtotroublehimselfasyet。 Bywayofpreparingthemselvesmorecompletelytheywouldhavemeetingsinoneanother’sroomsforteaandprayerandotherspiritualexercises。Placingthemselvesundertheguidanceofafewwell-knowntutorstheywouldteachinSundaySchools,andbeinstant,inseasonandoutofseason,inimpartingspiritualinstructiontoallwhomtheycouldpersuadetolistentothem。 Butthesoilofthemoreprosperousundergraduateswasnotsuitablefortheseedtheytriedtosow。Thesmallpietieswithwhichtheylardedtheirdiscourse,ifchancethrewthemintothecompanyofonewhomtheyconsideredworldly,causednothingbutaversioninthemindsofthoseforwhomtheywereintended。Whentheydistributedtracts,droppingthembynightintogoodmen’sletterboxeswhiletheywereasleep,theirtractsgotburnt,ormetwithevenworsecontumely;theywerethemselvesalsotreatedwiththeridiculewhichtheyreflectedproudlyhadbeenthelotoftruefollowersofChristinallages。OftenattheirprayermeetingswasthepassageofStPaulreferredtoinwhichhebidshisCorinthianconvertsnoteconcerningthemselvesthattheywereforthemostpartneitherwell- brednorintellectualpeople。Theyreflectedwithpridethattheytoohadnothingtobeproudofintheserespects,andlikeStPaul,gloriedinthefactthatinthefleshtheyhadnotmuchtoglory。 ErnesthadseveralJohnianfriends,andcamethustohearabouttheSimeonitesandtoseesomeofthem,whowerepointedouttohimastheypassedthroughthecourts。Theyhadarepellentattractionforhim;hedislikedthem,buthecouldnotbringhimselftoleavethemalone。Ononeoccasionhehadgonesofarastoparodyoneofthetractstheyhadsentroundinthenight,andtogetacopydroppedintoeachoftheleadingSimeonites’boxes。Thesubjecthehadtakenwas“PersonalCleanliness。”Cleanliness,hesaid,wasnexttogodliness;hewishedtoknowonwhichsideitwastostand,andconcludedbyexhortingSimeonitestoafreeruseofthetub。I cannotcommendmyhero’shumourinthismatter;histractwasnotbrilliant,butImentionthefactasshowingthatatthistimehewassomethingofaSaulandtookpleasureinpersecutingtheelect,not,asIhavesaid,thathehadanyhankeringafterscepticism,butbecause,likethefarmersinhisfather’svillage,thoughhewouldnotstandseeingtheChristianreligionmadelightof,hewasnotgoingtoseeittakenseriously。Ernest’sfriendsthoughthisdislikeforSimeoniteswasduetohisbeingthesonofaclergymanwho,itwasknown,bulliedhim;itismorelikely,however,thatitrosefromanunconscioussympathywiththem,which,asinStPaul’scase,intheenddrewhimintotheranksofthosewhomhehadmostdespisedandhated。 Once,recently,whenhewasdownathomeaftertakinghisdegree,hismotherhadhadashortconversationwithhimabouthisbecomingaclergyman,setontheretobyTheobald,whoshrankfromthesubjecthimself。Thistimeitwasduringaturntakeninthegarden,andnotonthesofa——whichwasreservedforsupremeoccasions。 “Youknow,mydearestboy。”shesaidtohim,“thatpapa“(shealwayscalledTheobald“papa“whentalkingtoErnest)“issoanxiousyoushouldnotgointotheChurchblindly,andwithoutfullyrealisingthedifficultiesofaclergyman’sposition。Hehasconsideredallofthemhimself,andhasbeenshownhowsmalltheyare,whentheyarefacedboldly,buthewishesyou,too,tofeelthemasstronglyandcompletelyaspossiblebeforecommittingyourselftoirrevocablevows,sothatyoumaynever,neverhavetoregretthestepyouwillhavetaken。” ThiswasthefirsttimeErnesthadheardthattherewereanydifficulties,andhenotunnaturallyenquiredinavaguewayaftertheirnature。 “That,mydearboy。”rejoinedChristina,“isaquestionwhichIamnotfittedtoenteruponeitherbynatureoreducation。Imighteasilyunsettleyourmindwithoutbeingabletosettleitagain。 Oh,no!Suchquestionsarefarbetteravoidedbywomen,and,I shouldhavethought,bymen,butpapawishedmetospeaktoyouuponthesubject,sothattheremightbenomistakehereafter,andIhavedoneso。Now,therefore,youknowall。” Theconversationendedhere,sofarasthissubjectwasconcerned,andErnestthoughthedidknowall。Hismotherwouldnothavetoldhimheknewall——notaboutamatterofthatsort——unlessheactuallydidknowit;well,itdidnotcometoverymuch;hesupposedthereweresomedifficulties,buthisfather,whoatanyratewasanexcellentscholarandalearnedman,wasprobablyquiterighthere,andheneednottroublehimselfmoreaboutthem。Solittleimpressiondidtheconversationmakeonhim,thatitwasnottilllongafterwardsthat,happeningtorememberit,hesawwhatapieceofsleightofhandhadbeenpractiseduponhim。TheobaldandChristina,however,weresatisfiedthattheyhaddonetheirdutybyopeningtheirson’seyestothedifficultiesofassentingtoallaclergymanmustassentto。Thiswasenough;itwasamatterforrejoicingthat,thoughtheyhadbeenputsofullyandcandidlybeforehim,hedidnotfindthemserious。Itwasnotinvainthattheyhadprayedforsomanyyearstobemade“TRULYhonestandconscientious。” “Andnow,mydear。”resumedChristina,afterhavingdisposedofallthedifficultiesthatmightstandinthewayofErnest’sbecomingaclergyman,“thereisanothermatteronwhichIshouldliketohaveatalkwithyou。ItisaboutyoursisterCharlotte。Youknowhowcleversheis,andwhatadear,kindsistershehasbeenandalwayswillbetoyourselfandJoey。Iwish,mydearestErnest,thatIsawmorechanceofherfindingasuitablehusbandthanIdoatBattersby,andIsometimesthinkyoumightdomorethanyoudotohelpher。” Ernestbegantochafeatthis,forhehadhearditsooften,buthesaidnothing。 “Youknow,mydear,abrothercandosomuchforhissisterifhelayshimselfouttodoit。Amothercandoverylittle——indeed,itishardlyamother’splacetoseekoutyoungmen;itisabrother’splacetofindasuitablepartnerforhissister;allthatIcandoistotrytomakeBattersbyasattractiveaspossibletoanyofyourfriendswhomyoumayinvite。Andinthat。”sheadded,withalittletossofherhead,“IdonotthinkIhavebeendeficienthitherto。” Ernestsaidhehadalreadyatdifferenttimesaskedseveralofhisfriends。 “Yes,mydear,butyoumustadmitthattheywerenoneofthemexactlythekindofyoungmanwhomCharlottecouldbeexpectedtotakeafancyto。Indeed,Imustowntohavingbeenalittledisappointedthatyoushouldhaveyourselfchosenanyoftheseasyourintimatefriends。” Ernestwincedagain。