“I\'vegothim!”criedHugh。
“Letthemanalone,“growledaburlyfellowinthecrowd,withhisfistsclenchedinhistrowser-pockets。
“Letmehavealookathim,“saidFalconer,stoopingoverhim。“Ah!
Idon\'tknowhim。That\'saswellforhim。Lethimup,Sutherland。“
ThebystanderstookFalconerforadetective,anddidnotseeminclinedtointerfere,allexceptthecarmanbeforementioned。Hecameup,pushingthecrowdrightandleft。
“Letthemanalone,“saidhe,inaveryoffensivetone。
“Iassureyou,“saidFalconer,“he\'snotworthyourtrouble;for——“
“Noneo\'yourcursedjaw!”saidthefellow,inalouderanddeepergrowl,approachingFalconerwithathreateningmien。
“Well,Ican\'thelpit,“saidFalconer,asiftohimself。
“Sutherland,lookafterthecount。“
“ThatIwill,“saidHugh,confidently。
Falconerturnedonthecarman,whowasjustonthepointofclosingwithhim,preferringthatmodeoffighting;andsayingonly:“Defendyourself,“retreatedastep。Themanwasgoodathisfiststoo,and,havingfailedinhisfirstattempt,madethebestuseofthemhecould。ButhehadnochancewithFalconer,whosecoolnessequalledhisskill。
Meantime,theBohemianhadbeenwatchinghischance;andalthoughthecontestcertainlydidnotlastlongerthanoneminute,foundopportunity,inthemiddleofit,towrenchhimselffreefromHugh,triphimup,anddartoff。Thecrowdgavewaybeforehim。Hevanishedsosuddenlyandcompletely,thatitwasevidenthemusthavestudiedtheneighbourhoodfromtheretreatsideofthequestion。Withrat-likeinstinct,hehadconsultedtheholesandcornersinanticipationofthenecessityofapplyingtothem。Hughgotup,and,directed,orpossiblymisdirectedbythebystanders,spedawayinpursuit;buthecouldhearorseenothingofthefugitive。
Attheendoftheminute,thecarmanlayintheroad。
“Lookafterhim,somebody,“saidFalconer。
“Nofearofhim,sir;he\'susedtoit,“answeredoneofthebystanders,withtherespectwhichFalconer\'sprowessclaimed。
FalconerwalkedafterHugh,whosoonreturned,lookingexcessivelymortified,andfeelingverysmallindeed。
“Nevermind,Sutherland,“saidhe。“Thefellowisuptoatrickortwo;butweshallcatchhimyet。Ifithadn\'tbeenforthatbigfoolthere——buthe\'spunishedenough。“
“Butwhatcanwedonext?Hewillnotcomehereagain。“
“Verylikelynot。StillhemaynotgiveuphisattemptsuponMissCameron。Ialmostwonder,seeingsheissoimpressible,thatshecangivenoaccountofhiswhereabouts。ButIpresumeclairvoyancedependsonthepresenceofotherqualificationsaswell。Ishouldliketomesmerizehermyself,andseewhethershecouldnothelpusthen。“
“Well,whynot,ifyouhavethepower?”
“BecauseIhavemadeupmymindnottosuperinduceanyconditionofwhoselawsIamsoverypartiallyinformed。Besides,Iconsideritaconditionofdiseaseinwhich,asbysleeplessnessforinstance,thesensesofthesoul,ifyouwillallowtheexpression,are,foritspresentstate,renderedunnaturallyacute。Toinducesuchacondition,IdarenotexerciseapowerwhichitselfIdonotunderstand。“
CHAPTERXIX。
MARGARET。
Forthoughthatevervirtuouswasshe,Shewasincreasedinsuchexcellence,Ofthewesgood,ysetinhighbount?
Andsodiscreetandfairofeloquence,Sobenign,andsodigneofreverence,Andcouth?sothepoeple\'shertembrace,Thateachherloveththatlookethinherface。
CHAUCER——TheClerk\'sTale。
HughreturnedtoMrs。Elton\'s,and,inthedining-room,wroteanotetoEuphra,toexpresshisdisappointment,andshamethat,afterall,thecounthadfoiledhim;but,atthesametime,hisdeterminationnottoabandonthequest,tilltherewasnoroomforhopeleft。Hesentthisuptoher,andwaited,thinkingthatshemightbeonthesofa,andmightsendforhim。Alittlewearyfromthereactionoftheexcitementhehadjustgonethrough,hesatdowninthecornerfarthestfromthedoor。Thelargeroomwasdimlylightedbyoneuntrimmedlamp。
Hesatforsometime,thinkingthatEuphrawaswritinghimanote,orperhapspreparingherselftoseehiminherroom。Involuntarilyhelookedup,andasuddenpang,asatthevisionofthedisembodied,shotthroughhisheart。Adimformstoodinthemiddleoftheroom,gazingearnestlyathim。HesawthesamefacewhichhehadseenforamomentinthelibraryatArnstead——theglorifiedfaceofMargaretElginbrod,shimmeringfaintlyinthedulllight。
Instinctivelyhepressedhishandstogether,palmtopalm,asifhehadbeenabouttokneelbeforeMadonnaherself。Delight,mingledwithhope,andtemperedbyshame,flushedhisface。Ghostornone,shebroughtnofearwithher,onlyawe。
Shestoodstill。
“Margaret!”hesaid,withtremblingvoice。
“Mr。Sutherland!”sheresponded,sweetly。
“Areyouaghost,Margaret?”
Shesmiledasifshewereallspirit,and,advancingslowly,tookhisjoinedhandsinbothofhers。
“Forgiveme,Margaret,“sighedhe,asifwithhislastbreath,andburstintoanagonyoftears。
Shewaitedmotionless,tillhispassionshouldsubside,stillholdinghishands。Hefeltthatherhandsweresogood。
“Heisdead!”saidHugh,atlast,withalleffort,followedbyafreshoutburstofweeping。
“Yes,heisdead,“rejoinedMargaret,calmly。“YouwouldnotweepsoifyouhadseenhimdieasIdid——diewithasmilelikeasummersunset。Indeed,itwasthesunsettome;butthemoonhasbeenupforalongtimenow。“
Shesighedagentle,painlesssigh,andsmiledagainlikeasaint。
ShespokenearlyasScotchaseverintone,thoughthewordsandpronunciationwerealmostpureEnglish——Thislapseintosomuchoftheoldform,orrathergarment,ofspeech,constantlyrecurred,asoftenasherfeelingsweremoved,andespeciallywhenshetalkedtochildren。
“Forgiveme,“saidHugh,oncemore。
“Wearethesameasintheolddays,“answeredMargaret;andHughwassatisfied。
“Howdoyoucometobehere?”saidHugh,atlast,afterasilence。
“Iwilltellyouallaboutthatanothertime。NowImustgiveyouMissCameron\'smessage。Sheisverysorryshecannotseeyou,butsheisquiteunable。Indeed,sheisnotoutofbed。Butifyoucouldcallto-morrowmorning,shehopestobebetterandtobeabletoseeyou。Shesaysshecanneverthankyouenough。“
Thelampburnedyetfainter。Margaretwent,andproceededtotrimit。Thevirginsthatarosemusthavelookedverylovely,trimmingtheirlamps。Itisadeedveryfairandwomanly——thebestforawoman——tomakethelampburn。Thelightshoneupinherface,andthehandsremovingtheglobehandleditdelicately。Hesawthatthegoodhandswereverybeautifulhands;notsmall,butadmirablyshaped,andverypure。Asshereplacedtheglobe,——
“Thatman,“shesaid,“willnottroubleheranymore。“
“Ihopenot,“saidHugh;“butyouspeakconfidently:why?”
“Becauseshehasbehavedgloriously。Shehasfoughtandconqueredhimonhisownground;andsheisafree,beautiful,andgoodcreatureofGodforever。“
“Youdelightme,“rejoinedHugh“Anothertime,perhaps,youwillbeabletotellmeallaboutit。“
“Ihopeso。Ithinkshewillnotmindmytellingyou。“
Theybadeeachothergoodnight;andHughwentawaywithastrangefeeling,whichhehadneverexperiencedbefore。Tocomparegreatthingswithsmall,itwassomethinglikewhathehadoncefeltinadream,inwhich,digginginhisfather\'sgarden,hehadfoundaperfectmarblestatue,youngaslife,andyetoldasthehills。Tothinkofthegirlhehadfirstseeninthedrawing-roomatTurriepuffit,idealizingherselfintosuchacreatureasthat,sogrand,andyetsowomanly!solofty,andyetsolovely;sostrong,andyetsograceful!
Wouldthateverywomanbelievedintheidealofherself,andhopedforitasthewillofGod,notmerelyasthegoalofherownpurestambition!Butevenifthelowerdevelopmentofthehopewereallshepossessed,itwouldyetbewell;foritsinevitablefailurewouldsoondevelopethehigherandtriumphanthope。
Hethoughtabouthertillhefellasleep,anddreamedabouthertillhewoke。Notforamoment,however,didhefancyhewasinlovewithher:thefeelingwasdifferentfromanyhehadhithertorecognizedasembodyingthatpassion。Itwastherecognitionandconsequentadmirationofabeautywhicheveryonewhobehelditmustrecognizeandadmire;butmingled,inhiscase,witholdandpreciousmemories,doublydearnowintheincreasedearnestnessofhisnatureandaspirations,andwithadeeppersonalinterestfromthefactthat,howeverlittle,hehadyetcontributedaportionofthevitalfoodwherebythegraciouscreaturehadbecomewhatshewas。
Intheso-calledmorninghewenttoMrs。Elton\'s。Euphrawasexpectinghisvisit,andhewasshownupintoherroom,whereshewaslyingonacouchbythefire。Shereceivedhimwiththewarmthofgratitudeaddedtothatoffriendship。Herfacewaspaleandthin,buthereyeswerebrilliant。Shedidnotappearatfirstsighttobeveryill:butthedepthandrealityofhersicknessgrewuponhim。BehindhercouchstoodMargaret,likeaguardianangel。
Margaretcouldbeartheday,forshebelongedtoit;andthereforeshelookedmorebeautifulstillthanbythelamp-light。EuphraheldoutapalelittlehandtoHugh,andbeforeshewithdrewit,ledHugh\'stowardsMargaret。Theirhandsjoined。HowdifferenttoHughwasthetouchofthetwohands!Life,strength,persistencyintheone:languor,feebleness,andfadingintheother。
“Icanneverthankyouenough,“saidEuphra;“thereforeIwillnottry。Itisnobondagetoremainyourdebtor。“
“Thatwouldbethanksindeed,ifIhaddoneanything。“
“Ihavefoundoutanothermystery,“Euphraresumed,afterapause。
“Iamsorrytohearit,“answeredhe。“Ifeartherewillbenomysteriesleftby-and-by。“
“Nofearofthat,“sherejoined,“solongastheangelscomedowntomen。“AndsheturnedtowardsMargaretasshespoke。
Margaretsmiled。Inthecomplimentshefeltonlythekindness。
Hughlookedather。Sheturnedaway,andfoundsomethingtodoattheothersideoftheroom。
“Whatmystery,then,haveyoudestroyed?”
“Notdestroyedit;forthemysteryofcourageremains。IwasthewickedghostthatnightintheGhost\'sWalk,youknow——thewhiteone:thereisthegoodghost,thenun,theblackone。“
“Who?Margaret?”
“Yes,indeed。Shehasjustbeenconfessingittome。Ihadmytwoangels,asonewhosefatewasundetermined;myevilangelinthecount——mygoodangelinMargaret。LittledidIthinkthenthattheholypowerswerewatchingmeinher。Iknewtheevilone;Iknewnothingofthegood。Isupposeitissowithagreatmanypeople。“
Hughsatsilentinastonishment。Margaret,then,hadbeenatArnsteadwithMrs。Eltonallthetime。Itwasherselfhehadseeninthestudy。
“Didyoususpectme,Margaret?”resumedEuphra,turningtowardsherwhereshesatatthewindow。
“Notintheleast。Ionlyknewthatsomethingwaswrongaboutthehouse;thatsomebeingwasterrifyingtheservants,andpoorHarry;
andIresolvedtodomybesttomeetit,especiallyifitshouldbeanythingofaghostlykind。“
“Thenyoudobelieveinsuchappearances?”saidHugh。
“Ihavenevermetanythingofthesortyet。Idon\'tknow。“
“Andyouwerenotafraid?”
“Notmuch。Iamneverreallyafraidofanything。WhyshouldIbe?”
NojustificationoffearwassuggestedeitherbyHughorbyEuphra。
TheyfeltthedignityofnaturethatliftedMargaretabovetheregionoffear。
“Comeandseemeagainsoon,“saidEuphra,asHughrosetogo。
Hepromised。
NextdayhedinedbyinvitationwithMrs。EltonandHarry。Euphrawasunabletoseehim,butsentakindmessagebyMargaretashewastakinghisleave。HehadbeenfearingthatheshouldnotseeMargaret;andwhenshedidappearhewasthemoredelighted;buttheinterviewwasnecessarilyshort。
Hecalledthenextday,andsawneitherEuphranorMargaret。Shewasnobetter。Mrs。Eltonsaidthephysicianscoulddiscovernodefinitediseaseeitherofthelungsorofanyotherorgan。Yetlifeseemedsinking。Margaretthoughtthattheconflictwhichshehadpassedthrough,hadexhaustedhervitality;that,hadsheyielded,shemighthavelivedaslave;butthatnow,perhaps,shemustdieafreewoman。
HercontinuedillnessmadeHughstillmoreanxioustofindthering,forheknewitwouldpleasehermuch。Falconerwouldhaveappliedtothepolice,buthefearedthatthemanwouldvanishfromLondon,upontheleastsuspicionthathewaswatched。Theyheldmanyconsultationsonthesubject。
CHAPTERXX。
ANEWGUIDE。
DasDenkenistnureinTraumdesF黨lens,einerstorbenesF黨len,einblass-graues,schwachesLeben。
Thinkingisonlyadreamoffeeling;adeadfeeling;apale-grey,feeblelife。
NOVALIS——DieLehrlingezuSais。
Forwhere\'snocourage,there\'snoruthnormone。
FaerieQueene:vi。7,18。
Onemorning,assoonasshewaked,Euphrasaid:
“HaveIbeenstillallthenight,Margaret?”
“Quitestill。Whydoyouask?”
“BecauseIhavehadsuchastrangeandvividdream,thatIfeelasifImusthavebeentotheplace。Itwasafoolishquestion,though;because,ofcourse,youwouldnothaveletmego。“
“Ihopeitdidnottroubleyoumuch。“
“No,notmuch;forthoughIwaswiththecount,Ididnotseemtobethereinthebodyatall,onlysomehownearhim,andseeinghim。I
canrecalltheplaceperfectly。“
“Doyouthinkitreallywastheplacehewasinatthetime?”
“Ishouldnotwonder。ButnowIfeelsofree,sofarbeyondhimandallhispower,thatIdon\'tmindwhereorwhenIseehim。Hecannothurtmenow。“
“CouldyoudescribetheplacetoMr。Sutherland?Itmighthelphimtofindthecount。“
“That\'sagoodidea。Willyousendforhim?”
“Yes,certainly。MayItellhimforwhat?”
“Byallmeans。“
MargaretwrotetoHughatonce,andsentthenotebyhand。Hewasathomewhenitarrived。Hehurriedlyansweredit,andwenttofindFalconer。Tohisdelighthewasathome——notoutofbed,infact。
“Readthat。“
“Whoisitfrom?”
“MissCameron\'smaid。“
“Itdoesnotlooklikeamaid\'sproduction。“
“Itisthough。Willyoucomewithme?YouknowLondontenthousandtimesbetterthanIdo。Idon\'tthinkweoughttoloseachance。“
“Certainlynot。Iwillgowithyou。Butperhapsshewillnotseeme。“
“Oh!yes,shewill,whenIhavetoldheraboutyou。“
“Itwillberatheratrialtoseeastranger。“
“Amancannotbeastrangerwithyoutenminutes,ifheonlylooksatyou;——stilllessawoman。“
Falconerlookedpleased,andsmiled。
“Iamgladyouthinkso。Letusgo。“
Whentheyarrived,Margaretcametothem。HughtoldherthatFalconerwashisbestfriend,andonewhoknewLondonperhapsbetterthananyothermaninit。Margaretlookedathimfullinthefaceforamoment。Falconersmiledattheintensityofherstillgaze。
Margaretreturnedthesmile,andsaid:
“IwillaskMissCamerontoseeyet。“
“Thankyou,“wasallFalconer\'sreply;butthetonewasmorethanspeech。
Afteralittlewhile,theywereshownuptoEuphra\'sroom。Shehadwantedtositup,butMargaretwouldnotlether;soshewaslyingonhercouch。WhenFalconerwaspresentedtoher,hetookherhand,andhelditforamoment。Akindofindescribablebeambrokeoverhisface,asifhisspiritsmiledandthesmileshonethroughwithoutmovingoneofhisfeaturesasitpassed。Thetearsstoodinhiseyes。Tounderstandallthislook,onewouldneedtoknowhishistoryasIdo。Helaidherhandgentlyonherbosom,andsaid:
“Godblessyou!”
EuphrafeltthatGoddidblessherintheverywords。ShehadbeenlookingatFalconerallthetime。Itwasonlyfifteensecondsorso;buttheoutcomeofalifewascrowdedintoFalconer\'ssideofit;andtheconfidenceofEuphrarosetomeetthefaithfulnessofamanofGod——Whatwordsthoseare!——AmanofGod!HaveInotwrittenarevelation?Yes——tohimwhocanreadit——yes。
“Iknowenoughofyourstory,MissCameron,“hesaid,“tounderstandwithoutanyprefacewhatyouchoosetotellme。“
Euphrabeganatonce:
“IdreamedlastnightthatIfoundmyselfoutsidethestreetdoor。
IdidnotknowwhereIwasgoing;butmyfeetseemedtoknow。Theycarriedme,roundtwoorthreecorners,intoawide,longstreet,whichIthinkwasOxford-street。TheycarriedmeonintoLondon,farbeyondanyquarterIknew。AllIcantellfurtheris,thatI
turnedtotheleftbesideachurch,onthesteepleofwhichstoodwhatItookforawanderingghostjustlightedthere;——onlyIoughttotellyou,thatfrequentlyinmydreams——alwaysinmypeculiardreams——themorematerialandsolidandordinarythingsare,themorethinandghostlytheyappeartome。ThenIwentonandon,turningleftandrighttoomanytimesformetoremember,tillatlastIcametoalittle,old-fashionedcourt,withtwoorthreetreesinit。Ihadtogoupafewstepstoenterit。Iwasnotafraid,becauseIknewIwasdreaming,andthatmybodywasnotthere。Itisagreatrelieftofeelthatsometimes;foritisoftenverymuchintheway。Iopenedadoor,uponwhichthemoonshoneverybright,andwalkeduptwoflightsofstairsintoabackroom。
AndthereIfoundhim,doingsomethingatatablebycandlelight。
Hehadasheetofpaperbeforehim;butwhathewasdoingwithit,Icouldnotsee。Itriedhard;butitwasofnouse。Thedreamsuddenlyfaded,andIawoke,andfoundMargaret——ThenIknewIwassafe,“sheadded,withalovingglanceathermaid。
Falconerrose。
“Iknowtheplaceyoumeanperfectly,“hesaid。“Itistoopeculiartobemistaken。Lastnight,letmesee,howdidthemoonshine?——Yes。Ishallbeabletotelltheverydoor,Ithink,oralmost。“
“Howkindofyounottolaughatme!”
“ImightmakeafoolofmyselfifIlaughedatanyone。SoI
generallyavoidit。Wemayaswellgetthegoodoutofwhatwedonotunderstand——oratleasttryiftherebeanyinit。Willyoucome,Sutherland?”
Hughrose,andtookhisleavewithFalconer。
“Howpleasedsheseemedwithyou,Falconer!”saidhe,astheyleftthehouse。
“Yes,shetouchedme。“
“Won\'tyougoandseeheragain?”
“No;thereisnoneed,exceptshesendsforme。“
“Itwouldpleaseher——comforther,Iamsure。“
“ShehasgotoneofGod\'sangelsbesideher,Sutherland。Shedoesn\'twantme。“
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Imeanthatmaidofhers。“
Apang——ofjealousy,wasit?——shotthroughHugh\'sheart。Howcouldhesee——whatrighthadhetoseeanythinginMargaret?
Hughmighthavekepthimselfatpeace,evenifhehadlovedMargaretasmuchasshedeserved,whichwouldhavebeenabouttentimesasmuchashedid。Isamannottorecognizeanangelwhenheseesher,andtocallherbyhername?HadHughseenintothecoreofthatgrandheart——whatformsatthere,andhow——hewouldhavebeenatpeace——wouldalmosthavefallendowntodothemanhomage。Hewassilent。
“Mydearfellow!”saidFalconer,asifhedivinedhisfeeling——forFalconer\'spowerovermenandwomencameallfromsympathywiththeirspirits,andnottheirnerves——“ifyouhaveanyholdofthatwoman,donotloseit;forassureasthere\'sasuninheaven,sheisoneofthewingedones。Don\'tIknowawomanwhenIseeher!”
Hesighedwithakindofinvoluntarysigh,whichyetdidnotseektohideitselffromHugh。
“Mydearboy,“headded,layingastressontheword,“——Iamnearlytwiceyourage——don\'tbejealousofme。“
“Mr。Falconer,“saidHughhumbly,“forgiveme。Thefeelingwasinvoluntary;andifyouhavedetectedinitmorethanIwasawareof,youareatleastaslikelytoberightasIam。ButyoucannotthinkmorehighlyofMargaretthanIdo。“
AndyetHughdidnotknowhalfthegoodofherthen,thatthereaderdoesnow。
“Well,wehadbetterpartnow,andmeetagainatnight。“
“WhattimeshallIcometoyou?”
“Oh!aboutnineIthinkwilldo。“
SoHughwenthome,andtriedtoturnhisthoughtstohisstory;butEuphra,Falconer,Funkelstein,andMargaretpersistedinsittingtohim,theoneaftertheother,insteadoftheheroesandheroinesofhistale。Hewascompelledtolayitaside,andbetakehimselftoastrollandapipe。
Ashewentdownstairs,hemetMissTalbot。
“You\'resoontiredofhome,Mr。Sutherland。Youhaven\'tbeeninabovehalfanhour,andyou\'reoutagainalready。“
“Why,yousee,MissTalbot,Iwantapipeverymuch。“
“Well,youain\'tgoingtothepublichousetosmokeit,areyou?”
“No,“answeredHughlaughing。“Butyouknow,MissTalbot,youmadeitpartoftheagreementthatIshouldn\'tsmokeindoors。SoI\'mgoingtosmokeinthestreet。“
“Now,thinkofbeingtakenthatway!”retortedMissTalbot,withaninjuredair。“Why,thatwasbeforeIknewanythingaboutyou。Goupstairsdirectly,andsmokeyourpipe;andwhentheroomcan\'tholdanymore,youcanopenthewindows。Yoursmokewon\'tdoanyharm,Mr。Sutherland。ButI\'mverysorryyouquarrelledwithMrs。
Appleditch。She\'sahardwoman,andoverfondofhermoneyandherdrawing-room;andforthoseboysofhers——theLordhavemercyonthem,forshehasnone!Butshe\'satrueChristianforallthat,anddoesapowerofgoodamongthepoorpeople。“
“Whatdoesshegivethem,MissTalbot?”
“Oh!——shegivesthem——hm-m——tractsandthings。Youknow,“sheadded,perceivingtheweaknessofherposition,“people\'ssoulsshouldcomefirst。AndpoorMrs。Appleditch——yousee——somefolksismadestickierthanothers,andtheirmoneystickstothem,somehow,thattheycan\'tpartwithit——poorwoman!”
TothisHughhadnoanswerathand;forthoughMissTalbot\'slogicwasmorethanquestionable,hercharitywasperfectlysound;andHughfeltthathehadnotbeenforbearingenoughwiththemotherofthefuturepastors。Sohewentbacktohisroom,lightedhispipe,andsmokedtillhefellasleepoverasmallvolumeofmorbidmoderndivinity,whichMissTalbothadlenthim。Idonotmentionthenameofthebook,lestsomeofmyacquaintanceshouldabuseme,andothersit,morethaneitherdeserves。Hugh,however,foundthebestrefugefromthediseasedself-consciousnesswhichitendeavouredtorouse,andwhichisakindofspiritualsomnambulism,inanhourofGod\'sgoodsleep,intoameansofwhichthebookwastemporarilyelevated。Whenhewokehefoundhimselfgreatlyrefreshedbytheinfluenceithadexerciseduponhim。
Itwasnowthehourforthedailypretenceofgoingtodine。Sohewentout。Butallhehadwassomebread,whichheateashewalkedabout。Loiteringhere,andtriflingthere,passingfiveminutesoveravolumeoneverybookstallinHolborn,andcomparingtheshapesofthemeerschaumsineverytobacconist\'swindow,timeambledgentlyalongwithhim;anditstruckninejustashefoundhimselfatFalconer\'sdoor。
“Youareready,then?”saidFalconer。
“Quite。“
“Willyoutakeanythingbeforeyougo?Ithinkwehadbetterhavesomesupperfirst。Itisearlyforourproject。“
ThiswasawelcomeproposaltoHugh。Coldmeatandalewereexcellentpreparativesforwhatmightberequiredofhim;foratendencytocollapseinacertainregion,calledbycourtesythechest,isnotfavourabletodeedsofvalour。Bythetimehehadspenttenminutesinthedischargeoftheagreeabledutysuggested,hefelthimselfreadyforanythingthatmightfalltohislot。
Thefriendssetouttogether;and,undertheguidanceofthetwoforemostbumpsuponFalconer\'sforehead,soonarrivedattheplacehejudgedtobethatindicatedbyEuphra。ItwasverydifferentfromtheplaceHughhadpicturedtohimself。Yetineverythingitcorrespondedtoherdescription。
“Arewenotgreatfools,Sutherland,tosetoutonsuchachase,withthedreamofasickgirlforouronlyguide?”
“Iamsureyoudon\'tthinkso,elseyouwouldnothavegone。“
“Ithinkwecanaffordthesmallrisktoourreputationinvolvedinthechaseofthissamewild-goose。Thereisenoughofstrangetestimonyaboutthingsofthesorttojustifyusinattendingtothehint。Besides,ifweneglectedit,itwouldbemortifyingtofindoutsomeday,perhapsahundredyearsafterthis,thatitwasatruehint。Itisaltogetherdifferentfromgivingourselvesuptothepursuitofsuchthings——Butthisoughttobethehouse,“headded,goinguptoonethathadarathermorerespectablelookthantherest。
Heknockedatthedoor。Anelderlywomanhalfopeneditandlookedatthemsuspiciously。
“Willyoutakemycardtotheforeigngentlemanwhoislodgingwithyou,andsayIamhappytowaituponhim?”saidFalconer。
Sheglancedathimagain,andturnedinwards,hesitatingwhethertoleavethedoorhalf-openornot。Falconerstoodsoclosetoit,however,thatshewasafraidtoshutitinhisface。
“Now,Sutherland,followme,“whisperedFalconer,assoonasthewomanhaddisappearedonthestair。
Hughfollowedbehindthemovingtowerofhisfriend,whostrodewithlong,noiselessstridestillhereachedthestair。Thathetookthreestepsatatime。Theywentuptwoflights,andreachedthetopjustasthewomanwaslayingherhandonthelockoftheback-roomdoor。Sheturnedandfacedthem。
“Speakoneword,“saidFalconer,inahissingwhisper,“and——“
Hecompletedthesentencebyanawfullythreateninggesture。Shedrewbackinterror,andyieldedherplaceatthedoor。
“Comein,“bawledsomeone,insecondanswertotheknockshehadalreadygiven。
“Itishe!”saidHugh,tremblingwithexcitement。
“Hush!”saidFalconer,andwentin。
Hughfollowed。Heknowthebackofthecountatonce。Hewasseatedatatable,apparentlywriting;but,goingnearer,theysawthathewasdrawing。AsinglecloserglanceshowedthemtheportraitofEuphragrowingunderhishand。Inordertointensifyhiswillandconcentrateituponher,hewasdrawingherportraitfrommemory。Butatthemomenttheycaughtsightofit,thewretch,awareofahostilepresence,sprangtohisfeet,andreachedthechimney-pieceatonebound,whencehecaughtupasword。
“Takecare,Falconer,“criedHugh;“thatweaponispoisoned。Heisnoevery-dayvillainyouhavetodealwith。“
Herememberedthecat。
FunkelsteinmadeasuddenlungeatHugh,hisfacepalewithhatredandanger。ButablowfromFalconer\'shugefist,travellingfasterthanthepointofhisweapon,stretchedhimonthefloor。SuchwasFalconer\'simpetus,thatithurledbothhimandthetableacrossthefallenvillain。Falconerwasupinamoment。NotsoFunkelstein。
TherewasplentyoftimeforHughtosecuretherapier,andforFalconertosecureitsowner,beforehecametohimself。
“Where\'smyring?”saidHugh,themomentheopenedhiseyes。
“Gentlemen,Iprotest,“beganFunkelstein,inavoiceuponwhichthecordthatboundhiswristshadanevidentinfluence。
“Nochaff!”saidFalconer。“We\'vegotallourfeathers。Handoverthetworings,orbethesecurityforthemyourself。“
“Whatwitnesshaveyouagainstme?”
“Thebestofwitnesses——MissCameron。“
“Andme,“addedHugh。
“Gentlemen,Iamverysorry。Iyieldedtotemptation。Imeanttorestorethediamondafterthejokehadbeenplayedout,butIwasforcedtopartwithit。“
“Thejokeisplayedout,yousee,“saidFalconer。“Soyouhadbetterproducetheotherbaubleyoustoleatthesametime。“
“Ihavenotgotit。“
“Come,come,that\'stoomuch。Nobodywouldgiveyoumorethanfiveshillingsforit。Andyouknewwhatitwasworthwhenyoutookit。
Sutherland,youstandoverhimwhileIsearchtheroom。Thisportraitmayaswellbeputoutofthewayfirst。“
Ashespoke,Falconertoretheportraitandthrewitintothefire。
Hethenturnedtoacupboardintheroom。WhetheritwasthatFunkelsteinfearedfurtherrevelations,Idonotknow,buthequailed。
“Ihavenotgotit,“herepeated,however。
“Youlie,“answeredFalconer。
“IwouldgiveityouifIcould。“
“Youshall。“
TheBohemianlookedcontemptibleenoughnow,despitethehandsomenessofhisfeatures。Itneededfreedom,andtheabsenceofanyurgency,toenablehimtopersonateagentleman。Giventhoseconditions,hesucceeded。Butassoonashewasdisturbed,theglossvanished,andthetruenaturecameout,thatofaruffianandasneak。HequitequiveredatthelookwithwhichFalconerturnedagaintothecupboard。
“Stop,“hecried;“hereitis。“
Andmutteringwhatsoundedlikecurses,hepulledoutofhisbosomthering,suspendedfromhisneck“Sutherland,“saidFalconer,takingthering,“securethatrapier,andbecarefulwithit。Wewillhaveitspointtested。
Meantime,“——hereheturnedagaintohisprisoner——“IgiveyouwarningthatthemomentIleavethishouse,IgotoScotlandYard——Doyouknowtheplace?Ithererecommendthepolicetolookafteryou,andtheywillmindwhatIsay。IfyouleaveLondon,amessagewillbesent,whereveryougo,thatyouhadbetterbewatched。Myadvicetoyouis,tostaywhereyouareaslongasyoucan。Ishallmeetyouagain。“
Theylefthimonthefloor,tothecareofhislandlady,whomtheyfoundoutsidetheroom,speechlesswithterror。
Assoonastheywereinthesquare,onwhichthemoonwasnowshining,asithadshoneinEuphra\'sdreamthenightbefore,FalconergavetheringtoHugh。
“Takeittoajeweller\'s,Sutherland,andgetitcleaned,beforeyougiveittoMissCameron。“
“Iwill,“answeredHugh,andadded,“Idon\'tknowhowtothankyou。“
“Thendon\'t,“saidFalconer,withasmile。
Whentheyreachedtheendofthestreet,heturned,andbadeHughgoodnight。
“Takecareofthatcowardlything。Itmaybeasyousay。“
Hughturnedtowardshome。Falconerdivedintoacourt,andwasoutofsightinamoment。
CHAPTERXXI。
THELASTGROAT。
ThouhastbeenAsone,insufferingall,thatsuffersnothing;
Amanthatfortune\'sbuffetsandrewardsHastta\'enwithequalthanks;andblessedarethoseWhosebloodandjudgmentaresowellcommingledThattheyarenotapipeforfortune\'sfingerTosoundwhatstopsheplease。
Hamlet。
Mostfriendsbefriendthemselveswithfriendship\'sshow。
SOUTHWELL。
HughtooktheringtoMrs。Elton\'s,andgaveitintoMargaret\'shand。ShebroughthimbackamessageofwarmestthanksfromEuphra。
Shehadaskedforwritingmaterialsatonce,andwasnowcommunicatingthegoodnewstoMr。Arnold,inMadeira。
“Ihaveneverseenherlooksohappy,“addedMargaret。“Shehopestobeabletoseeyouintheevening,ifyouwouldnotmindcallingagain。“
Hughdidcall,andsawher。Shereceivedhimmostkindly。Hewasdistressedtoseehowalteredshewas。Thefireofonelifeseemeddyingout——flowingawayandspendingfromhereyes,whichitilluminatedwithtoomuchlightasitpassedout。Butthefireofanotherlife,theimmortallife,whichliesinthoughtandfeeling,intruthandlovedivine,whichdeathcannottouch,becauseitisnotofhiskind,wasgrowingasfast。Hesatwithherforanhour,andthenwent。
Thischapterofhisownhistoryconcluded,Hughreturnedwithfreshenergytohisnovel,andworkedatitashisinventiongavehimscope。Therewasthemorenecessitythatheshouldmakeprogress,fromthefactthat,havingsenthismotherthegreaterpartofthesalaryhehadreceivedfromMr。Arnold,hewasnowreducedtohislastsovereign。Povertylooksratheruglywhenshecomessocloseasthis。Butshehadnotyetaccostedhim;andwithasovereigninhispocket,andlastweek\'srentpaid,abacheloriscertainlynotpoverty-stricken,atleastwhenheisasindependent,notonlyofotherpeople,butofhimself,asHughwas。Still,withoutmoremoneythanthatamanwalksinfetters,andisreadytoforgetthatthevariousrestraintsheisunderarenotincompatiblewithmosthonourablefreedom。SoHughworkedashardashecouldtofinishhisnovel,andsucceededwithinaweek。Thentherealanxietybegan。Hecarriedit,withmuchdoubtfulhope,tooneoftheprincipalpublishinghouses。Hadhebeenmoreselfishlywise,hewouldhaveputitintothehandsofFalconertonegotiateforhim。
Buthethoughthehadgivenhimquitetroubleenoughalready。Sohewentwithoutanintroductioneven。Themanuscriptwasreceivedpolitely,andattentionwaspromised。Butaweekpassed,andanother,andanother。Ahumansoulwasincommotionaboutthemeatthatperisheth——andthemanuscriptlayallthetimeunread,——forgotteninadrawer。
Atlengthhereachedhislastcoin。Hehadhadnomeatforseveraldays,exceptoncethathedinedatMrs。Elton\'s。Buthewouldnotborrowtillabsolutelycompelled,andsixpencewouldkeephimaliveanotherday。Inthemorninghehadsomebreakfast(forheknewhisbookswereworthenoughtopayallheowedMissTalbot),andthenhewanderedout。Throughthestreetshepacedandpaced,lookinginatallthesilversmiths\'andprintsellers\'windows,andsolacinghispovertywithafavouriteamusementofhisinuneasycircumstances,anamusementcheapenoughforaScotchmanreducedtohislastsixpence——castle-building。Thisisnotaltogetherabademploymentwherehopehaslaidthefoundation;butitisratheraheartlessonewheretheimaginationhastodrawthegroundplanaswellastheelevations。Thelatter,however,wasnotquiteHugh\'sconditionyet——Hereturnedatnight,carefullyavoidingthecook-shopsandtheirkindredsnares,withasilvergroatinhispocketstill。Buthecrawledupstairsratherfeebly,itmustbeconfessed,forayouthwithlimbsmouldedinthefashionofhis。
Hefoundaletterwaitinghim,fromafriendofhismother,informinghimthatshewasdangerouslyill,andurginghimtosetoffimmediatelyforhome。Thiswasliketheblastoffierybreathfromthedragon\'smaw,whichoverthrewtheRed-crossknight——butintothewelloflife,whereallhiswoundswerehealed,and——and——well——boardandlodgingprovidedhimgratis。
Whenhehadreadtheletter,hefellonhisknees,andsaidtohisfatherinheaven:“WhatamItodo?”
Therewasnolakewithgoldenpiecesinitsbottom,whenceafishmightbringhimacoin。NorinallthewideLondonlaythereonehecouldclaimashis,butthegroatinhispocket。
HerosewiththesimpleresolutiontogoandtellFalconer。Hewent。Hewasnotathome。Emboldenedbynecessity,Hughlefthiscard,withthewordsonit:“Cometome;Ineedyou。“Hethenreturned,packedafewnecessaries,andsatdowntowait。ButhehadnotsatfiveminutesbeforeFalconerentered。
“What\'sthematter,Sutherland,mydearfellow?Youhaven\'tprickedyourselfwiththatskewer,haveyou?”
Hughhandedhimtheletterwithonehand;andwhenhehadreadit,heldoutthefourpennypieceintheotherhand,tobereadlikewise。
Falconerunderstoodatonce。
“Sutherland,“hesaid,inatoneofreproof,“itisashameofyoutoforgetthatmenarebrothers。ArenottwowhocomeoutoftheheartofGod,ascloselyrelatedasiftheyhadlaininthewombofonemother?Whydidyounottellme?Youhavesuffered——Iamsureyouhave。“
“Ihave——alittle,“Hughconfessed。“Iamgettingratherlowinfact。Ihaven\'thadquiteenoughtoeat。“
HesaidthistoexcusethetearswhichFalconer\'skindness——nothunger——compelledfromtheircells。
“But,“headded,“Iwouldhavecometoyouassoonasthefourpencewasgone;oratleast,ifIhadn\'tgotanotherbeforeIwasveryhungryagain。“
“Goodheavens!”exclaimedFalconer,halfangrily。Thenpullingouthiswatch,“Wehavetwohours,“saidhe,“beforeatrainstartsforthenorth。Cometomyplace。“
Hughroseandobeyed。Falconer\'sattendantsoonbroughtthemaplentifulsupperfromaneighbouringshop;afterwhichFalconergotoutoneofhisbottlesofport,wellknowntohismoreintimatefriends;andHughthoughtnomoreaboutmoneythanifhehadhadhispursefull。Ifithadnotbeenforanxietyabouthismother,hewouldhavebeenhappierthanhehadeverbeeninhislifebefore。
For,crossinginthenightthewavering,heavingmorassoftheworld,hadhenotsethisfootupononespotwhichdidnotshake;
thesummit,indeed,ofamightyPlutonicrock,thatwentdownwideningawaytotheverycentreoftheearth?Ashespedalongintherailwaythatnight,theprophecyofthousandsofyearscameback:“Amanshallbeahiding-placefromthewind,acovertfromthetempest,theshadowofagreatrockinawearyland。“Andhethoughtitwouldbeablessedtimeindeed,whenthiswasjustwhatamanwas。AndthenhethoughtoftheSonofMan,who,bybeingsuchfirst,wasenablingallhisfriendstobesuchtoo。OfhimFalconerhadalreadylearnedthis“truthintheinwardparts“;andhadfound,intheprocessoflearningit,thatthiswasthetruenaturewhichGodhadmadehisfromthefirst,nonewthingsuperinduceduponit。
Hehadhadbuttoclearawaytherubbishofworldliness,whichmoreorlessburiesthebestnaturesforatime,andsotofindhimself。
AfterHughhadeatenanddrunk,andthusoncemoreexperiencedthedivinitythatlayinfoodandwine,hewenttotakeleaveofhisfriendsatMrs。Elton\'s。Likemostinvalids,Euphrawasbetterintheevening:sherequestedtoseehim。Hefoundherinbed,andmuchwastedsincehesawherlast。Hecouldnotkeepthetearsfromfillinghiseyes,foralltheeventsofthatdayhadbroughtthemnearthesurface。
“Donotcry,dearfriend,“shesaidsweetly。“Thereisnoroomformehereanymore,andIamsentfor。“
Hughcouldnotreply。Shewenton:
“IhavewrittentoMr。Arnoldaboutthering,andallyoudidtogetit。DoyouknowheisgoingtomarryLadyEmily?”
StillHughcouldnotanswer。
Margaretstoodontheothersideofthebed,thegracefulembodimentofholyhealth,andinhissorrow,hecouldnothelpfeelingthebeautyofherpresence。HerlovelyhandsweretheservantsofEuphra,andherlight,firmfeetmovedonlyinministration。HefeltthatEuphrahadroomintheworldwhileMargaretwaitedonher。
Itisnothouse,andfire,andplentyofservants,andallthethingsthatmoneycanprocure,thatmakeahome——notfatherormotherorfriends;butoneheartwhichwillnotbewearyofhelping,willnotbeoffendedwiththepetulanceofsickness,northeministrationsneedfultoweakness:this“entireaffectionhatingnicerhands“willmakeahomeofacaveinarock,oragipsy\'stent。ThisEuphrahadinMargaret,andHughsawit。
“Itrustyouwillfindyourmotherbetter,Hugh“saidEuphra。
“Ifearnot,“answeredhe。
“Well,Margarethasbeenteachingme,andIthinkIhavelearnedit,thatdeathisnotatallsuchadreadfulthingasitlooks。Isaidtoher:\'Itiseasyforyou,Margaret,whoaresofarfromdeath\'sdoor。\'Butshetoldmethatshehadbeenallbutdeadonce,andthatyouhadsavedherlifealmostwithyourown。Oh,Hugh!sheissuchadear!”
Euphrasmiledwithtentimesthefascinationofanyofheroldsmiles;forthesoulofthesmilewaslove。
“Ishallneverseeyouagain,Idaresay,“shewenton。“Myheartthanksyou,fromitsverydepths,foryourgoodnesstome。IthasbeenathousandtimesmorethanIdeserve。“
Hughkissedinsilencethewastedhandheldouttohiminadieu,anddeparted。Andtheworlditselfwasasadwanderingstar。
Falconerhadcalledforhim。TheydrovetoMissTalbot\'s,whereHughgothis\'bagofneedments,\'andbadehislandladygood-byeforatime。Falconerthenaccompaniedhimtotherailway。
Havinglefthimforamoment,Falconerrejoinedhim,saying:“Ihaveyourticket;“andputhimintoafirst-classcarriage。
Hughremonstrated。Falconerreplied:
“Ifindthishulkofmineworthtakingcareof。Youwillbetwicethegoodtoyourmother,ifyoureachhertolerablyfresh。“
Hestoodbythecarriagedoortalkingtohim,tillthetrainstarted;walkedalongsidetillitwasfairlyinmotion;then,biddinghimgood-bye,leftinhishandalittlepacket,whichHugh,openingitbythelightofthelamp,foundtoconsistofafewsovereignsandafewshillingsfoldedupinatwenty-pound-note。
Ioughttotelloneotherlittlefact,however。Justbeforetheenginewhistled,FalconersaidtoHugh:
“Givemethatfourpennypiece,youbraveoldfellow!”
“Thereitis,“saidHugh。“Whatdoyouwantitfor?”
“Iamgoingtomakeawedding-presentofittoyourwife,whoevershemayhappentobe。Ihopeshewillbeworthyofit。“
Hughinstantlythoughtwithinhimself:
“WhatawifeMargaretwouldmaketoFalconer!”
Thethoughtwasfollowedbyapang,keenandclear。
Thosewhoareinthehabitofregardingtherealandtheidealasessentiallyandthereforeirreconcileablyopposed,willremarkthatIcannothavedrawntherepresentationofFalconerfaithfully。
Perhapsthedifficultytheywillexperienceinrecognizingitstruthfulness,mayspringfromthefactthattheythemselvesareun-idealenoughtobelongtothenotsmallclassofstrong-mindedfriendswhosechiefcare,inperformingthepartoftherockinthewearyland,is——nottoshelteryouimprudently。Theyareafraidofweakeningyourconstitutionbyit,especiallyifitisnotstrongtobeginwith;soiftheydojusttakeofftheedgeofthetempestwiththesharpcornersoftheirshelteringrockforamoment,thenext,theywillthrustyououtintotherain,togethardyandself-denying,bybeingwettotheskinandwellblownabout。
ThericheasilylearnthewisdomofSolomon,butareunaptscholarsofhimwhoisgreaterthanSolomon。Itis,ontheotherhand,soeasyforthepoortohelpeachother,thattheyhavelittlemeritinit:itisnovirtue——onlyabeauty。Butthereareafewrich,who,rivallingthepoorintheirownpeculiarexcellences,enterintothekingdomofheaveninspiteoftheirriches;andthenfindthatbymeansoftheirrichestheyaremaderulersovermanycities。Shetowhosememorythisbookisdedicated,is——Iwillnotsaywas——oneofthenoblestofsuch。
Therearetwowaysofaccountingforthedifficultywhichareadermayfindinbelievinginsuchacharacter:eitherthat,notbeingpoor,hehasneverneededsuchafriend;orthat,beingrich,hehasneverbeensuchafriend。
Orifitbethat,beingpoor,hehasneverfoundsuchafriend;hisdifficultyiseasytoremove:——Ihave。
CHAPTERXXII。
DEATH。
Thinkthen,mysoul,thatdeathisbutagroomWhichbringsatapertotheoutwardroom,Whencethouspy\'stfirstalittleglimmeringlight;
Andafterbringsitnearertothysight:
Forsuchapproachesdothheavenmakeindeath。
DR。DONNE。
Hughfoundhismotherevenworsethanhehadexpected;butsheralliedalittleafterhisarrival。
Intheevening,hewanderedoutinthebrightmoonlitsnow。
Howstrangeitwastoseealltheoldformswithhisheartsofullofnewthings!Thesamehillsroseabouthim,withallthelinesoftheirshapesunchangedinseeming。Yettheywerechangingassurelyashimself;nay,hecontinuedmorethesamethanthey;forinhimtheoldformswerefoldedupinthenew。IntheeyesofHimwhocreatestime,thereisnorest,butalivingsacredchange,ajourneyingtowardsrest。Healonerests;andhealone,invirtueofhisrest,createschange。
Hethoughtwithsadness,howallthehauntsofhischildhoodwouldpasstoothers,whowouldfeelnoloveorreverenceforthem;thatthehousewouldbethesame,butsoundingwithnewsteps,andringingwithnewlaughter。Alittlefurtherthought,however,soonsatisfiedhimthatplacesdieaswellastheirdwellers;that,byslowdegrees,theirformsarewipedout;thatthenewtastesobliteratetheoldfashions;andthaterelongtheveryshapeofthehouseandfarmwouldbelapped,asitwere,aboutthetombofhimwhohadbeenthesouloftheshape,andwouldvanishfromthefaceoftheearth。
Alltheoldthingsathomelookedsad。Thelookcamefromthis,that,thoughhecouldsympathizewiththemandtheirstory,theycouldnotsympathizewithhim,andhesuffusedthemwithhisownsadness。Hecouldfindnorefugeinthepast;hemustgoonintothefuture。
Hismotherlingeredforsometimewithoutanyevidentchange。Hesatbyherbedsidethemostoftheday。Allshewantedwastohavehimwithinreachofherfeeblevoice,thatshemight,whenshepleased,drawhimwithintouchofherfeeblehand。Onceshesaid:
“Myboy,Iamgoingtoyourfather。“
“Yes,mother,Ithinkyouare,“Hughreplied。“Howgladhewillbetoseeyou!”
“ButIshallleaveyoualone。“
“Mother,IloveGod。“
Themotherlookedathim,asonlyamothercanlook,smiledsweetly,closedhereyesaswiththeweightofhercontentment,fellasleepholdinghishand,andsleptforhours。
Meanwhile,inLondon,MargaretwaswatchingEuphra。Shewasdying,andMargaretwastheangeloflifewatchingoverher。
“Ishallgetridofmylamenessthere,Margaret,shallInot?”saidEuphra,oneday,halfplayfully。
“Yes,dear。“
“Itwillbedelightfultowalkagainwithoutpain。“
“Perhapsyouwillnotgetridofitallatonce,though。“
“Whydoyouthinkso?”askedEuphra,withsomeappearanceofuneasiness。
“Because,ifitistakenfromyoubeforeyouarequitewillingtohaveitaslongasGodpleases,byandbyyouwillnotbeabletorest,tillyouhaveaskedforitbackagain,thatyoumaybearitforhissake。“
“Iamwilling,Margaret,Iamwilling。Onlyonecan\'tlikeit,youknow。“
“Iknowthat,“answeredMargaret。
Shespokenomore,andMargaretheardherweepinggently。Halfanhourhadpassedaway,whenshelookedup,andsaid:
“Margaret,dear,Ibegintolikemylameness,Ithink。“
“Why,dear?”
“Why,justbecauseGodmadeit,andbademebearit。MayInotthinkitisamarkonmefromhishand?”
“Yes,Ithinkso。“
“Whydoyouthinkitcameonme?”
“TowalkbacktoHimwith,dear。“
“Yes,yes;Iseeitall。“
Untilnow,MargarethadnotknowntowhatadegreethelamenessofEuphrahadtroubledher。Thatherprettyancleshouldbedeformed,andherlightfootableonlytolimp,hadbeenasourceofrealdistresstoher,eveninthemidstoffardeeper。
Thedayspassedon,andeverydayshegrewweaker。Shedidnotsuffermuch,butnothingseemedtodohergood。Mrs。Eltonwaskindnessitself。Harrywasindreadfuldistress。Hehauntedherroom,creepinginwheneverhehadachance,andsittingincornersoutoftheway。Euphralikedtohavehimnearher。Sheseldomspoketohim,ortoanyonebutMargaret,forMargaretalonecouldhearwitheasewhatshesaid。Butnowandthenshewouldmotionhimtoherbedside,andsay——itwasalwaysthesame——
“Harry,dear,begood。“
“Iwill;indeedIwill,dearEuphra,“wasstillHarry\'sreply。
Once,expressingtoMargaretherregretthatsheshouldbesuchatroubletoher,shesaid:
“Youhavetodosomuchforme,thatIamashamed。“
“Doletmewashthefeetofoneofhisdisciples;“Margaretreplied,gentlyexpostulating;afterwhich,Euphranevergrumbledatherowndemandsuponher。
Again,oneday,shesaid:
“Iamnotrightatallto-day,Margaret。Godcan\'tloveme,Iamsohateful。“
“Don\'tmeasureGod\'smindbyyourown,Euphra。Itwouldbeapoorlovethatdependednotonitself,butonthefeelingsofthepersonloved。Acryingbabyturnsawayfromitsmother\'sbreast,butshedoesnotputitawaytillitstopscrying。Sheholdsitcloser。
Formypart,intheworstmoodIameverin,whenIdon\'tfeelI
loveGodatall,Ijustlookuptohislove。Isaytohim:\'Lookatme。SeewhatstateIamin。Helpme!”Ah!youwouldwonderhowthatmakespeace。Andthelovecomesofitself;sometimessostrong,itnearlybreaksmyheart。“
“ButthereisatextIdon\'tlike。“
“Takeanother,then。“
“Butitwillkeepcoming。“
“GiveitbacktoGod,andnevermindit。“
“Butwouldthatberight?”
“Oneday,whenIwasalittlegirl,sohigh,Icouldn\'teatmyporridge,andsatlookingatit。\'Eatyourporridge,\'saidmymother。\'Idon\'twantit,\'Ianswered。\'There\'snothingelseforyou,\'saidmymother——forshehadnotlearnedsomuchfrommyfatherthen,asshedidbeforehedied。\'Hoots!\'saidmyfather——Icannot,dearEuphra,makehiswordsintoEnglish。“
“No,no,don\'t,“saidEuphra;“Ishallunderstandthemperfectly。“
“\'Hoots!Janet,mywoman!\'saidmyfather。\'Giethebairnadisho\'
tay。Wadnayelikesometay,Maggy,mydoo?\'\'AywadI,\'saidI。
\'Theparritchisguideneuch,“saidmymother。\'Naedootaboottheparritch,woman;it\'sthebairn\'sstamack,it\'snotheparritch。\'
Mymothersaidnomore,butmademeacupofsuchnicetea;forwhenevershegavein,shegaveinquite。Idrankit;and,halffromanxietytopleasemymother,halffromrevivinghunger,attackedtheporridgenext,andateitup。\'Leukatthat!\'saidmyfather。
\'Janet,mywoman,gieabodytheguidthattheycantak\',an\'
they\'llsunetak\'theguidthattheycanna。Ye\'rebetternoo,Maggy,mydoo?\'InevertoldhimthatIhadtakentheporridgetoosoonafterall,andhadtocreepintothewood,andbesick。Butitisallthesameforthestory。“
Euphralaughedafeeblebutdelightedlaugh,andappliedthestoryforherself。
Sothewinterdayspassedon。
“IwishIcouldlivetillthespring,“saidEuphra。“Ishouldliketoseeasnowdropandaprimroseagain。“
“Perhapsyouwill,dear;butyouaregoingintoabetterspring。I
couldalmostenvyyou,Euphra。“
“Butshallwehavespringthere?”
“Ithinkso。“
“Andspring-flowers?”
“Ithinkweshall——betterthanhere。“
“Buttheywillnotmeansomuch。“
“Thentheywon\'tbesogood。ButIshouldthinktheywouldmeaneversomuchmore,andbeeversomuchmorespring-like。Theywillbethespring-flowerstoallwintersinone,Ithink。“
Foldedintheloveofthiswoman,anointedforherdeathbyherwisdom,baptizedforthenewlifebyhersympathyanditstears,EuphradiedinthearmsofMargaret。
Margaretwept,fellonherknees,andgaveGodthanks。Mrs。Eltonwassodistressed,that,assoonasthefuneralwasover,shebrokeupherLondonhousehold,sendingsomeoftheservantshometothecountry,andtakingsometoherfavouritewateringplace,towhichHarryalsoaccompaniedher。
Shehopedthat,nowtheaffairoftheringwasclearedup,shemight,assoonasHughreturned,succeedinpersuadinghimtofollowthemtoDevonshire,andresumehistutorship。ThiswouldsatisfyheranxietyaboutHughandHarryboth。
Hugh\'smotherdiedtoo,andwasburied。Whenhereturnedfromthegravewhichnowheldbothfatherandmother,hefoundashortnotefromMargaret,tellinghimthatEuphrawasgone。Sorrowiseasiertobearwhenitcomesuponsorrow;buthecouldnothelpfeelingakeenadditionalpang,whenhelearnedthatshewasdeadwhomhehadlovedonce,andnowlovedbetter。Margaret\'snoteinformedhimlikewisethatEuphrahadleftawrittenrequest,thatherdiamondringshouldbegiventohimtowearforhersake。
Hepreparedtoleavethehomewhenceallthehomenesshadnowvanished,exceptwhatindeedlingeredinthepresenceofanoldnurse,whohadremainedfaithfultohismothertothelast。Thebodyitselfisoflittlevalueafterthespirit,thelove,isoutofit:sothehouseandalltheoldthingsarelittleenough,afterthelovedonesaregonewhokeptitaliveandmadeithome。
AllthatHughcoulddoforthisoldnursewastofurnishacottageforheroutofhismother\'sfurniture,givinghereverythingshelikedbest。Thenhegatheredthelittlehouseholdtreasures,thefewbooks,thefewportraitsandornaments,hisfather\'ssword,andhismother\'swedding-ring;destroyedwithsacredfireallwrittenpapers;soldtheremainderofthefurniture,whichhewouldgladlyhaveburnttoo,andsoproceededtotakehislastdeparturefromthehomeofhischildhood。
CHAPTERXXIII。
NATUREANDHERLADY。
DieFrauensindeinlieblichesGeheimniss,nurverh黮lt,nichtverschlossen——NOVALIS-MoralischeAnsichten。
Womenarealovelymystery——veiled,however,notshutup。
Hertwilightsweremoreclearthanourmid-day;
Shedreamtdevoutlierthanmostusedtopray。
DR。DONNE。
PerhapsthegreatestbenefitthatresultedtoHughfrombeingthusmadeapilgrimandastrangerintheearth,was,thatNatureherselfsawhim,andtookhimin,Hitherto,asIhavealreadysaid,Hugh\'sacquaintancewithNaturehadbeenchieflyasecond-handone——heknewfriendsofhers。Natureinpoetry——notintheformofThomsonianorCowperiandescriptions,goodastheyare,butcloselyinterwovenwithandexpositoryofhumanthoughtandfeeling——hadlongbeendeartohim。Inthisformhehadbelievedthatheknewhersowell,astobeabletoreproducethelineamentsofherbelovedface。Butnowsheherselfappearedtohim——thegrand,pure,tendermother,ancientinyears,yeteveryoung;appearedtohim,notinthemirrorofaman\'swords,butbendingoverhimfromthefathomlessbosomofthesky,fromtheoutspreadarmsoftheforest-trees,fromthesilentjudgmentoftheeverlastinghills。Shespoketohimfromthedepthsofair,fromthewindsthatharpupontheboughs,andtrumpetuponthegreatcaverns,andfromthestreamsthatsingastheygotobelostinrest。Shewouldhaveshoneuponhimoutoftheeyesofherinfants,theflowers,buttheyhadtheirfacesturnedtoherbreastnow,hidingfromthepaleblueeyesandthefreezingbreathofoldWinter,whowaslookingforthemwithhisfacebentclosetotheirrefuge。Andhefeltthatshehadapowertohealandtoinstruct;
yea,thatshewasapoweroflife,andcouldspeaktotheheartandconsciencemightywordsaboutGodandTruthandLove。
Forhedidnotforsakehisdeadhomeinhaste。Helingeredoverit,androamedaboutitsneighbourhood。Regardingallabouthimwithquiet,almostpassivespirit,hewasastonishedtofindhowhiseyesopenedtoseenatureinthemass。Before,hehadbeheldonlyportionsandbeauties。Whenorhowthechangepasseduponhimhecouldnottell。Buthenolongerlookedforaprettyeyebroworalovelyliponthefaceofnature:thesoulofnaturelookedoutuponhimfromtheharmonyofall,guidinghimunsoughttothediscoveryofathousandseparatedelights;whilefromtheexpandedvisionnewmeaningsflasheduponhimeveryday。HebeheldinthegreatAlltheexpressionofthethoughtsandfeelingsofthemakeroftheheavensandtheearthandtheseaandthefountainsofwater。Thepowersoftheworldtocome,thatis,theworldofunseentruthandidealreality,wereuponhiminthepresenceoftheworldthatnowis。
Forthefirsttimeinhislife,hefeltathomewithnature;andwhilehecouldmoanwiththewintrywind,henolongersighedinthewintrysunshine,thatforetold,likethefar-offflutterofaherald\'sbanner,theapproachofvictoriouslady-spring。
Withthesorrowandlonelinessoflosswithinhim,andNaturearoundhimseemingtosighforafullerexpressionofthethoughtthatthrobbedwithinher,itisnowonderthattheformofMargaret,thegatheringofthethousandformsofnatureintooneintensityandharmonyofloveliness,shouldriseagainupontheworldofhisimagination,tosetnomore。Fatherandmotherweregone。Margaretremainedbehind。Naturelayaroundhimlikeashiningdisk,thatneededavisiblecentreofintensestlight——ashieldofsilver,thatneededbutadiamondboss:Margaretalonecouldbethatcentre——thatdiamondlight-giver;forshealone,ofallthewomenheknew,seemedsotodrinkofthesun-raysofGod,astoradiatethemforth,forveryfulness,uponthecloudedworld。
Shehaddawnedonhimlikeasweetcrescentmoon,hangingfar-offinacoldandlowhorizon:now,liftinghiseyes,hesawthatsamemoonnearlyatthefull,andhighoverhead,yetleaningdowntowardshimthroughthedeepblueair,thatoverflowedwithhercalmtriumphoflight。Heknewthathelovedhernow。Heknewthateveryplacehewentthrough,caughtaglimmerofromancethemomenthethoughtofher;thateverymosttriflingeventthathappenedtohimself,lookedlikeapieceofastory-bookthemomenthethoughtoftellingittoher。Butthegrowthofthesefeelingshadbeengradual——soslowandgradual,thatwhenherecognizedthem,itseemedtohimasifhehadfeltthemfromthefirst。Thefactwas,thatassoonashebegantobecapableoflovingMargaret,hehadbeguntoloveher。Hehadneverbeenabletounderstandhertillhewasdrivenintothedesert。ButnowthatNaturerevealedherselftohimfullofLife,yea,oftheLifeofLife,namely,ofGodhimself,itwasnaturalthatheshouldhonourandlovethat\'ladyofherown\';thatheshouldrecognizeMargaretasgreaterthanhimself,asnearertotheheartofNature——yea,ofGodthefatherofall。ShehadbeenonewithNaturefromchildhood,andwhenhebegantobeonewithnaturetoo,hemustbecomeonewithher。
Andnow,inabsence,hebegantostudythecharacterofherwhom,inpresence,hehadthoughtheknewperfectly。HesoonfoundthatitwasaManoa,agoldencityinalandofParadise——toogoodtobebelievedin,exceptbyhimwhowasblessedwiththebeholdingofit。
Heknewnowthatshehadalwaysunderstoodwhathewasonlyjustwakingtorecognize。Andhefeltthatthescholarhadbeenverypatientwiththestupidityofthemaster,andhaddrawnfromhislessonsanourishmentofwhichhehadknownnothinghimself。
Butdaredhethinkofmarryingher,acreatureinspiredwithapresenceoftheSpiritofGodwhichnonebutthesaintsenjoy,andthenceclothedwithagarmentofbeauty,whichherspiritwoveoutofitsownloveliness?Shewasabeingtoglorifyanymanmerelybygrantinghimherhabitualpresence:what,then,ifshegaveherlove!ShewouldbringwithherthepresenceofGodhimself,forshewalkedeverinhislight,andthatlightclungtoherandradiatedfromher。True,manyyoungmaidensmustbewalkinginthesunshineofGod,elsewhencethelightandlovelinessandbloom,thesmileandthelaughoftheiryouth?ButMargaretnotonlywalkedinthislight:sheknewitandwhenceitcame。Shelookeduptoitssource,anditilluminatedherface。
Thesilentgirlofolddays,whosecountenanceworethestillnessofanunsunnedpool,asshelistenedwithreverencetohislessons,hadblossomedintothecalm,statelywoman,beforewhosepresencehefeltrebukedheknewnotwhy,uponwhosefacelayslumberingthought,everreadytowakeintolifeandmotion。Daredheloveher?Daredhetellherthathelovedher?Daredhe,sopoor,soworthless,seekforhimselfsuchaworld\'streasure?——Hemighthaveknownthatworthdoesnotneedhonour;thatitslowlinessiscontentwithascribingit。
SomeofmyreadersmaybeinclinedtothinkthatIhide,forthesakeofmyhero——poorlittlehero,oneofGod\'schildren,learningtowalk——aninevitablestrugglebetweenhisloveandhispride;
inasmuchas,beingbutatutor,hemightbeexpectedtothinkthemoreofhisgoodfamily,andthepossibilityofhisonedaycomingtohonourwithoutthedrawbackofhavingdoneanythingtomeritit,atitlebeingalmostwithinhisgrasp;whileMargaretwasaploughman\'sdaughter,andalady\'smaid。But,althoughIknowmoreofHugh\'sfaultsthanIhavethoughtitatallnecessarytobringoutinmystory,Iprotestthat,hadhebeencapableofgivingthenameoflovetoafeelinginwhosepresencepridedaredtospeak,I
shouldhaveconsideredhimunworthyofmypoorpen。Inplainlanguage,IdoubtifIshouldhavecaredtowritehisstoryatall。
Hegatheredtogether,asIhavesaid,thefewmemorialsoftheoldshipgonedowninthequietoceanoftime;paidonevisitofsorrowfulgladnesstohisparent\'sgrave,overwhichheraisednofutilestone——leavingit,liketheformswithinit,inthehandsofholydecay;andtookhisroad——whither?ToMargaret\'shome——toseeoldJanet;andtogooncetothegraveofhissecondfather。ThenhewouldreturntothetoilandhungerandhopeofLondon。
WhatmadeHughgotoTurriepuffit?HislovetoMargaret?No。A
bettermotiveeventhanthat:——Repentance。BetterImeanforHughastotheindividualoccasion;notinitself;forloveisdeeperthanrepentance,seeingthatwithoutlovetherecanbenorepentance。Hehadrepentedbefore;butnowthathehauntedinsilencetheregionsofthepast,thewholeofhishistoryinconnectionwithDavidreturnedonhimclearandvivid,asifpassingonceagainbeforehiseyesandthroughhisheart;andherepentedmoredeeplystill。Perhapshewasnotquitesomuchtoblameashethoughthimself。Perhapsonlynowwasitpossiblefortheseedsoftruth,whichDavidhadsowninhisheart,toshowthemselvesabovethesoiloflower,yetministeringcares。Theyhadneededtolieawinterlongintheearth。Nowthekeenblastsandgridingfrostshaddonetheirwork,andtheybegantogrowinthetearfulprime。
Sorrowforlossbroughtinhertrainsorrowforwrong——asistermoresolemnstill,andwithadeeperblessinginthevoiceofherlovingfarewell——Itisagreatmistaketosupposethatsorrowisapartofrepentance。Itisfartoogoodagracetocomesoeasily。
Amanmayrepent,thatis,thinkbetterofit,andchangehisway,andbeverymuchofaPharisee——Idonotsayahypocrite——foralongtimeafter:itneedsasainttobesorrowful。Yetrepentanceisgenerallytheroadtothissorrow——Andnowthatinthegracioustimeofgrief,hiseyesightpurifiedbytears,heenteredoneafteranotherallthechambersofthepast,hehumblyrenewedoncemorehisfriendshipwiththenobledead,andwiththehomely,heartfulliving。Thegrey-headedmanwhowalkedwithGodlikeachild,andwithhisfellow-menlikeanelderbrotherwhowasalwaysforgettinghisbirthrightandservingtheyounger;thewomanwhobelievedwhereshecouldnotsee,andlovedwhereshecouldnotunderstand;andthemaidenwhowasstillandlustreless,becausesheeverabsorbedandseldomreflectedthelight——allcametohim,asiftocomforthimoncemoreinhisloneliness,whenhishearthadroomforthem,andneedofthemyetagain。Davidnowbecame,afterhisdeparture,yetmoreofafathertohimthanbefore,forthatspirit,whichisthetruesoulofallthisbodyofthings,hadbeguntorecalltohismindthewordsofDavid,andsoteachhimthethingsthatDavidknew,theeverlastingrealitiesofGod。Anditseemedtohimthewhile,thatheheardDavidhimselfuttering,inhishomely,kinglyvoice,whatevertruthreturnedtohimfromtheecho-caveofthepast。Evenwhenaquitenewthoughtarosewithinhim,itcametohiminthevoiceofDavid,oratleastwiththesolemnmusicofhistonesclingingaboutitasthemurmurabouttheriver\'scourse。
ExperiencehadnowbroughthimuptothepointwherehecouldbegintoprofitbyDavid\'scommunion;heneededthethingswhichDavidcouldteachhim;andDavidbeganforthwithtogivethemtohim。
Thatbirthofnatureinhissoul,whichenabledhimtounderstandandloveMargaret,helpedhimlikewisetocontemplatewithadmirationandawe,thetoweringpeaksofDavid\'shopes,trusts,andaspirations。Hehadtaughttheploughmanmathematics,butthatploughmanhadpossessedinhimselfalltheessentialelementsofthegrandeuroftheoldprophets,glorifiedbythefaithwhichtheSonofMandidnotfindintheearth,butleftbehindhimtogrowinit,andwhichhadgrowntoanoblegrowthofbeautyandstrengthinthispeasant,simpleandpatriarchalinthemidstofaself-conceitedage。And,oh!howgoodhehadbeentohim!Hehadbuiltahousethathemighttakehiminfromthecold,andmakelifepleasanttohim,asinthepresenceofGod。Hehadgivenhimhishearteverytimehegavehimhisgreatmanlyhand。Andthisman,thisfriend,thispresenceofChrist,Hughhadforsaken,neglected,allbutforgotten。Hecouldnotgo,and,liketheprodigal,falldownbeforehim,andsay,“Father,Ihavesinnedagainstheavenandthee,“forthatheavenhadtakenhimupoutofhissight。Hecouldonlyweepinstead,andbitterlyrepent。Yes;therewasonethingmorehecoulddo。Janetstilllived。Hewouldgotoher,andconfesshissin,andbegherforgiveness。Receivingit,hewouldbeatpeace。HeknewDavidforgavehim,whetherheconfessedornot;
andthat,ifhewerealive,Davidwouldseekhisconfessiononlyasthecastingawayoftheseparationfromhisheart,asthebanishmentoftheworldlyspirit,andasthenaturalsignbywhichhemightknowthatHughwasonewithhimyet。
JanetwasDavid\'srepresentativeonearth:hewouldgotoher。
Sohereturned,richandgreat;richinknowingthathewasthechildofHimtowhomallthegoldminesbelong;andgreatinthathumilitywhichalonerecognizesgreatness,andinthebeginningsofthatmeeknesswhichshallinherittheearth。Nomorewouldhestunthisspiritualgrowthbyself-satisfaction。Nomorewouldhelayaside,inthecellarsofhismind,poorwitheredbulbsofopinions,which,butfortheevilministrationsofthatself-satisfaction,seekingtopreservethembydryingandsalting,mighthavebeenalreadyburstingintoblossomsoftruth,ofinfiniteloveliness。
HeknewthatMargaretthoughtfartoowellofhim——honouredhimgreatlybeyondhisdeserts。Hewouldnotallowhertobeanylongerthusdeceived。Hewouldtellherwhatapoorcreaturehewas。Buthewouldsay,too,thathehopedonedaytobeworthyofherpraise,thathehopedtogrowtowhatshethoughthim。Ifheshouldfailinconvincingher,hewouldreceiveallthehonourshegavehimhumbly,aspaid,nottohim,buttowhatheoughttobe。Godgrantitmightbeastohisfutureself!
InthismoodhewenttoJanet。
CHAPTERXXIV。
THEFIR-WOODAGAIN。
ErstandvorderhimmlischenJungfrau。Dahoberdenleichten,gl鋘zendenSchleir,und——Rosenbl黷hchensankinseineArme——Novalis——DieLehrlingezuSais。
HestoodbeforetheheavenlyVirgin(Isis,theGoddessofNature)。
Thenliftedhethelight,shiningveil,and——Rosebud(hisoldlove)
sankintohisarms。
Sowomanly,sobenigne,andsomeek。
CHAUCER——Prol。toLeg。ofGoodWomen。
Itwaswithaminglingofstrangeemotions,thatHughapproachedthesceneofthosenotveryold,andyet,tohisfeeling,quiteearlymemories。Theduskwasbeginningtogather。Thehoar-frostlaythickontheground。Thepine-treesstoodupinthecold,looking,intheirgarmentofspikes,asifthefrosthadmadethem。Therimeonthegatewasunfriendly,andchilledhishand。Heturnedintothefootpath。HesaytheroomDavidhadbuiltforhim。Itsthatchwasonemassofmosses,whosecolourswerehiddennowinthecuckoo-fruitofthefrost。Alas!howDeathhadcasthisdeeperfrostoverall;forthemanwasgonefromthehearth!ButneitheroldWinternorskeletonDeathcanwithholdthefeetofthelittlechildSpring。Sheisstrongerthanboth。Loveshallconquerhate;
andGodwillovercomesin。
Hedrewnighttothedoor,trembling。Itseemedstrangetohimthathisnervesonly,andnothismind,shouldfeel——Inmomentsofunusualexcitement,itsometimeshappensthattheonlyconsciousnessastrongmanhasofemotion,liesinanunwontedphysicalvibration,theminditselfrefusingtobedisturbed。Itis,however,butaseeming:theemotionissodeep,thatconsciousnesscanlayholdofitsphysicalresultonly——Thecottagelookedthesameasever,onlythepeat-stackoutsidewassmaller。Intheshadowinessofthefirs,theglimmerofafirewasjustdiscernibleonthekitchenwindow。
Hetrembledsomuchthathecouldnotenter。Hewouldgointothefir-woodfirst,andseeMargaret\'stree,ashealwayscalleditinhisthoughtsanddreams。
Verypoorandstuntedandmeagrelookedthefir-treesofTurriepuffit,afterthebeechesandelmsofArnstead。Theeveningwindwhistledkeenandcoldthroughtheirdryneedles,andmadethemmoan,asifbecausetheywerefettered,andmustendurethewinterinhelplesspatience。Hereandthereamongstthem,rosetheTitansofthelittleforest——thehuge,old,contorted,wizard-like,yetbenevolentbeings——theScotchfirs。Towardsoneofthesehebenthisway。ItwastheoneunderwhichhehadseenMargaret,whenhemetherfirstinthewood,withherwholesoullostinthewavingofitswind-swung,sun-lightedtop,floatingaboutintheseaofairlikeagoldennestforsomesilverybirdofheaven。Tothinkthattheyounggirltowhomhehadgiventheprimrosehehadjustfound,thethenfirst-bornoftheSpring,shouldnowbethequeenofhisheart!Herchildishdreamoftheangelhauntingthewoodhadbeentrue,onlyshewastheangelherself。Hedrewneartheplace。Howwellheknewit!Heseatedhimself,coldasitwasintheFebruaryofScotland,atthefootoftheblessedtree。Hedidnotknowthatitwascold。
Whilehesatwithhiseyesfixedontheground,alightrustleinthefallenleavesmadehimraisethemsuddenly。Itwasallwinterandfallenleavesabouthim;butheliftedhiseyes,andinhissoulitwassummer:Margaretstoodbeforehim。Hewasnotintheleastsurprised。Forhowcanonewondertoseebeforehiseyes,theformofwhichhissoulisfull?——thereisnoshock。Shestoodalittlewayoff,looking——asifshewantedtobesurebeforeshemovedastep。Shewasdressedinagreywinseygown,closetoherthroatandwrists。Shehadneithershawlnorbonnet。Herfinehealthkeptherwarm,eveninawinterwoodatsun-down。Shelookedjustthesame;——athomeeverywhere;mostathomeinNature\'ssecretchamber。
Likethegeniusoftheplace,shemadethewinter-woodlookhomely。
WhatweretheoaksandbeechesofArnsteadnow?HomelinessandgloryareHeaven。
Shecamenearer。
“Margaret!”hemurmured,andwouldhaverisen。
“No,no;sitstill,“sherejoined,inapleadingtone。“Ithoughtitwastheangelinthepicture。NowIknowit。Sitstill,dearMr。
Sutherland,onemomentmore。“
Humbledbyhissenseofunworthiness,andalittledistressedthatshecouldsoquietlyrevealthedepthofherfeelingtowardshim,hesaid:
“Ah,Margaret!Iwishyouwouldnotpraiseonesolittledeservingit。“
“Praise?”sherepeated,withanaccentofwonder。“Ipraiseyou!
No,Mr。Sutherland;thatIamnotguiltyof。Nexttomyfather,youmademeknowandfeel。AndasIwalkedhere,Iwasthinkingoftheoldtimes,andoldertimesstill;andallatonceIsawtheverypictureoutoftheoldBible。“
Shecameclosetohimnow。Herose,trembling,butheldoutnohand,utterednogreeting。
“Margaret,dareIloveyou?”hefaltered。
Shelookedathimwithwide-openeyes。
“Me?”shesaid;andhereyesdidnotmovefromhis。Aslightrose-flushbloomedoutonhermotionlessface。
“Willyoubemywife?”hesaid,tremblingyetmore。
Shemadenoanswer,butlookedathimstill,withpartedlips,motionless。
“Iamverypoor,Margaret。Icouldnotmarrynow。“
Itwasastupidspeech,buthemadeit。
“Idon\'tcare,“sheanswered,withavoicelikethinking,“ifyounevermarryme。“
Hemisunderstoodher,andturnedcoldtotheveryheart。Hemisunderstoodherstillness。Herheartlaysodeep,thatittookalongtimeforitsfeelingstoreachandagitatethesurface。Hesaidnomore,butturnedawaywithasigh。
“Comehometomymother,“shesaid。
Heobeyedmechanically,andwalkedinsilencebyherside。Theyreachedthecottageandentered。Margaretsaid:“Hereheis,mother;“anddisappeared。
Janetwasseated——inherwidow\'smutch,withtheplainblackribbondownbothsides,androundtheback——inthearm-chairbythefire,ponderingonthepast,orgentlydreamingofhimthatwasgone。Sheturnedherhead。Sorrowhadbaptizedherfacewithanewgentleness。Thetenderexpressionwhichhadbeenbutoccasionalwhileherhusbandlived,wasalmostconstantnow。ShedidnotrecognizeHugh。Hesawit,anditaddedweighttohisdespair。Hewasleftoutside。
“Mother!”hesaid,involuntarily。
Shestartedtoherfeet,cried:“Mybairn!mybairn!”threwherarmsaroundhim,andlaidherheadonhisbosom。Hughsobbedasifhisheartwouldbreak。Janetwept,butherweepingwasquietasasummerrain。Heledhertoherchair,kneltbyherside,andhidinghisfaceinherlaplikeachild,falteredout,interruptedbyconvulsivesobs:
“Forgiveme;forgiveme。Idon\'tdeserveit,butforgiveme。“
“Hootawa!mybairn!mybonnyman!Dinnagreetthatgait。TheLordpreserve\'s!whatareyegreetin\'for?Arenayecomehametoyerain?DidnaDawvidayesay——\'Gietheladtime,woman。It\'suncochaip,fortheLord\'sayemakin\'t。Thebestthingsisayethemaistplentifu\'。Gietheladtime,mybonnywoman!\'——didnahesaythat?
Ay,heca\'dmehisbonnywoman,illasIdeserveditathishan\'。
An\'it\'snoformetosayaewordagenyou,MaisterSutherlan\',ginyehadbeenahantlewaurnorayoungthochtlessladcudnaweelhelpbein\'。An\'nooye\'recomehame,an\'nothingcudglaiddenmyheartmair,\'cep\',maybe,theMaisterhimsel\'wastosaytomyman:
\'Dawvid!comefurth。\'“
Hughcouldmakenoreply。HegotholdofMargaret\'screepie,whichstoodinitsusualplace,andsatdownuponit,attheoldwoman\'sfeet。Shegazedinhisfaceforawhile,andthen,puttingherarmroundhisneck,drewhisheadtoherbosom,andfondledhimasifhehadbeenherownfirst-born。
“Buteh!yerbonniefaceissharpan\'sma\'towhatitusedtobe,MaisterSutherlan\'。Idootyehaecomethroughaheapo\'trouble。“
“I\'lltellyouallaboutit,“saidHugh。
“Na,na;bidestillawee。Ikena\'abootitfraeMaggy。An\'guidpreserve\'s!ye\'recleanperishedwi\'cauld。Latmeup,mybairn。“
Janetrose,andmadeupthefire,whichsooncastajoyfulglowthroughouttheroom。Thepeat-fireinthelittlecottagewasagoodsymboloftheheartofitsmistress:itgavefarmoreheatthanlight。Andformypart,dearaslightis,Ilikeheatbetter。Shethenputonthekettle,——ortheboilerIthinkshecalledit——saying:
“I\'mjistgaein\'tomak\'yeacupo\'tay,Mr。Sutherlan\'。It\'sthehandiestthing,yeken。An\'Idootye\'remuckleinwanto\'
something。Wadyenotak\'adrappyooto\'thebottle,i\'themanetime?”
“No,thankyou,“saidHugh,wholongedtobealone,forhisheartwascoldasice;“Iwouldratherwaitforthetea;butIshouldbegladtohaveagoodwash,aftermyjourney。“
“Comeyerwa\'s,than,benthehoose。I\'lljistgangan\'getadrappyo\'hetwaterinadecanter。Bideyestillbythefire。“
Hughstood,andgazedintothepeat-fire。Buthesawnothinginit。
Alightsteppassedhimseveraltimes,buthedidnotheedit。Theloveliesteyeslookedearnestlytowardshimastheypassed,buthiswerenotliftedtomeettheirgaze。
“Noo,MaisterSutherlan\',comethisway。“
Hughwasleftaloneatlength,intheroomwhereDavidhadslept,whereDavidhadusedtopray。Hefellonhisknees,androsecomfortedbythewillofGod。AfewthingsofMargaret\'swereabouttheroom。ThedresshehadseenherinatMrs。Elton\'s,washangingbythebed。Hekissedthefoldsofthegarment,andsaid:“God\'swillbedone。“HehadjustfinishedahastyablutionwhenJanetcalledhim。
“Comeawa\',MaisterSutherlan\';comebentoyerainchaumer,“saidshe,leadingthewaytotheroomshestillcalledthestudy。
Margaretwasthere。Theroomwasjustashehadleftit。Abrightfirewasonthehearth。Teawasonthetable,witheggs,andoatcakes,andflour-sconsinabundance;forJanethadthebestshecouldgetforMargaret,whowasonlyherguestforalittlewhile。
ButHughcouldnoteat。Janetlookeddistressed,andMargaretglancedathimuneasily。
“Doeatsomething,Mr。Sutherland,“saidMargaret。
Hughlookedatherinvoluntarily。Shedidnotunderstandhislook,anditalarmedher。Hiscountenancewaschanged。
“Whatisthematter,dear——Hugh?”shesaid,rising,andlayingherhandonhisshoulder。
“Hoots!lassie,“brokeinhermother;“areyemakin\'lovetillaman,agentleman,aforemyverraeen?”
“Hediditfirst,mother,“answeredMargaret,withasmile。
ApangofhopeshotthroughHugh\'sheart。
“Ow!that\'sthegaito\'t,is\'t?Thebairn\'sganedementit!Ye\'renoeftermerryin\'agentleman,Maggy?Na,na,lass!”
Sosaying,theoldlady,rathercrossly,andveryimprudently,lefttheroomtofilltheteapotinthekitchen。
“Doyourememberthis?”saidMargaret,——whofeltthatHughmusthavemisunderstoodsomethingorother,——takingfromherpocketalittlebook,andfromthebookawitheredflower。
Hughsawthatitwaslikeaprimrose,andhopedagainsthopethatitwastheonewhichhehadgiventoher,onthespringmorninginthefir-wood。Still,afeelingverydifferentfromhismighthavemadeherpreserveit。Hemustknowallaboutit。
“Whydidyoukeepthat?”hesaid。
“BecauseIlovedyou。“
“Lovedme?”
“Yes。Didn\'tyouknow?”
“Whydidyousay,then,thatyoudidn\'tcareif——if——?”
“Becauseloveisenough,Hugh——Thatwaswhy。“
THEEND。