Herethecandleswerebroughtin。
Thetwomenlookedateachotherfullintheface。Hughsawthathehadnotbeeninerror。Thesameremarkablecountenancewasbeforehim。Falconersmiled。
“Wehavemetbefore,“saidhe。
“Wehave,“saidHugh。
“Ihadaconvictionweshouldbebetteracquainted,butIdidnotexpectitsosoon。“
“Areyouaclairvoyant,then?”
“Notintheleast。“
“Or,perhaps,beingaScotchman,youhavethesecondsight?”
“IamhardlyCeltenoughforthat。ButIamasortofaseer,afterall——fromaninstinctofthespiritualrelationsofthings,Ihope;
notintheleastfromthenervo-materialside。“
“IthinkIunderstandyou。“
“Areyouatleisure?”
“Entirely。“
“Hadwenotbetterwalk,then?IhavetogoasfarasSomersTown——nogreatway;andwecantalkaswellwalkingassitting。“
“Withpleasure,“answeredHugh,rising。
“Willyoutakeanythingbeforeyougo?Aglassofport?ItistheonlywineIhappentohave。“
“Notadrop,thankyou。Iseldomtasteanythingstrongerthanwater。“
“Ilikethat。ButIlikeaglassofporttoo。Comethen。“
AndFalconerrose——andagreatrisingitwas;for,asIhavesaid,hewastwoorthreeinchestallerthanHugh,andmuchbroaderacrosstheshoulders;andHughwasnostriplingnow。Hecouldnothelpthinkingagainofhisoldfriend,DavidElginbrod,towhomhehadtolookuptofindthelivingeyesofhim,justasnowhelookeduptofindFalconer\'s。Buttherewasagreatdifferencebetweenthoseorgansinthetwomen。David\'shadbeenofanordinarysize,purekeenblue,sparklingoutofceruleandepthsofpeaceandhope,fulloflambentgleamswhenhewaslovinganyone,andeverreadytobedimmedwiththemistsofrisingemotion。AllthatHughcouldyetdiscoverofFalconer\'seyeswas,thattheywerelarge,andblackasnight,andsetsofarbackinhishead,thateachgleamedoutofitscavernedarchlikethereversedtorchoftheGreekGeniusofDeath,justbeforegoingoutinnight。Eitherthefrontalsinuswasverylarge,orhisobservantfacultieswerepeculiarlydeveloped。
Theywentout,andwalkedforsomedistanceinsilence。Hughventuredtosayatlength:
“Yousaidyouhadspentthedaystrangely:mayIaskhow?”
“InacondemnedcellinNewgate,“answeredFalconer。“Iamnotinthehabitofgoingtosuchplaces,butthemanwantedtoseeme,andIwent。“
AsFalconersaidnomore,andasHughwasafraidofshowinganythinglikevulgarcuriosity,thisthreadofconversationbroke。NothingworthrecordingpasseduntiltheyenteredanarrowcourtinSomersTown。
“Areyouafraidofinfection?”Falconersaid。
“Notintheleast,iftherebeanyreasonforexposingmyselftoit。“
“Thatisright——AndIneednotaskifyouareingoodhealth。“
“Iaminperfecthealth。“
“ThenIneednotmindaskingyoutowaitformetillIcomeoutofthishouse。Thereistyphusinit。“
“Iwillwaitwithpleasure。IwillgowithyouifIcanbeofanyuse。“
“Thereisnooccasion。Itisnotyourbusinessthistime。“
Sosaying,Falconeropenedthedoor,andwalkedin。
SaidHughtohimself:“Imusttellthismanthewholestory;andwithitallmyown。“
InafewminutesFalconerrejoinedhim,lookingsolemn,butwithakindofrelievedexpressiononhisface。
“Thepoorfellowisgone,“saidhe。
“Ah!”
“Whatathingitmustbe,Mr。Sutherland,foramantobreakoutofthechoke-dampofatyphusfeverintotheclearairofthelifebeyond!”
“Yes,“saidHugh;adding,afteraslighthesitation,“ifhebeatallpreparedforthechange。“
“Whereachangebelongstothenaturalorderofthings,“saidFalconer,“andarrivesinevitablyatsomehour,theremustalwaysbemoreorlesspreparednessforit。Besides,Ithinkamanisgenerallypreparedforabreathoffreshair。“
Hughdidnotreply,forhefeltthathedidnotfullycomprehendhisnewacquaintance。Buthehadastrongsuspicionthatitwasbecausehemovedinahigherregionthanhimself。
“Ifyouwillstillaccompanyme,“resumedFalconer,whohadnotyetadvertedtoHugh\'sobjectinseekinghisacquaintance,“youwill,I
think,besooncompelledtobelievethat,atwhatevertimedeathmayarrive,orinwhateverconditionthemanmaybeatthetime,itcomesasthebestandonlygoodthatcanatthatmomentreachhim。
Weare,perhaps,toomuchinthehabitofthinkingofdeathastheculminationofdisease,which,regardedonlyinitself,isanevil,andaterribleevil。ButIthinkratherofdeathasthefirstpulseofthenewstrength,shakingitselffreefromtheoldmouldyremnantsofearth-garments,thatitmaybegininfreedomthenewlifethatgrowsoutoftheold。Thecaterpillardiesintothebutterfly。Whoknowsbutdiseasemaybethecoming,thekeenerlife,breakingintothis,andbeginningtodestroylikefiretheinferiormodesorgarmentsofthepresent?Andthendiseasewouldbebutthesignofthesalvationoffire;oftheagonyofthegreaterlifetoliftustoitself,outofthatwhereinwearefailingandsinning。Andsowepraisetheconsumingfireoflife。“
“Butsurelyallcannotfarealikeinthenewlife。“
“Farfromit。Accordingtothecondition。Butwhatwouldbehelltoone,willbequietness,andhope,andprogresstoanother;
becausehehasleftworsebehindhim,andinthisthelifeassertsitself,andis——Butperhapsyouarenotinterestedinsuchsubjects,Mr。Sutherland,andIwearyyou。“
“IfIhavenotbeeninterestedinthemhitherto,Iamreadytobecomesonow。Letmegowithyou。“
“Withpleasure。“
AsIhaveattemptedtotellagreatdealaboutRobertFalconerandhispursuitselsewhere,IwillnothererelatetheparticularsoftheirwalkthroughsomeofthemostwretchedpartsofLondon。
Sufficeittosaythat,ifHugh,ashewalkedhome,wasnotyetpreparedtoreceiveandunderstandthehalfofwhatFalconerhadsaidaboutdeath,andhadnotyetthatfaithinGodthatgivesasperfectapeaceforthefutureofourbrothersandsisters,who,alas!haveasyetbeenfedwithhusks,asforthatofourselves,whohaveeatenbreadofthefinestofthewheat,andhavebeenbutalittlethankful,——heyetfeltatleastthatitwasablessedthingthatthesemenandwomenwouldalldie——mustalldie。Thatspectrefromwhichmenshrink,asifitwouldtakefromthemthelastshiveringremnantofexistence,heturnedtoforsomeconsolationevenforthem。Hewaspreparedtobelievethattheycouldnotbegoingtoworseintheend,thoughsomeoftherichandrespectableandeducatedmighthavetoreceivetheirevilthingsfirstintheotherworld;andhewasreadytounderstandthatgreatsayingofSchiller——fullofafaithevidentenoughtohimwhocanlookfarenoughintothesaying:
“Deathcannotbeanevil,foritisuniversal。“
CHAPTERVIII。
EUPHRA。
Samson。OthattormentshouldnotbeconfinedTothebody\'swoundsandsores,ButmustsecretpassagefindTotheinmostmind。
Direinflammation,whichnocoolingherbOrmedicinalliquorcanasswage,NorbreathofvernalairfromsnowyAlp。
Sleephathforsookandgivenmeo\'erTodeath\'sbenummingopiumasmyonlycure,Thencefaintings,swooningsofdespair,Andsenseofheaven\'sdesertion。
MILTON——SamsonAgonistes。
HithertoIhavechieflyfollowedthehistoryofmyhero,ifheroinanysensehecanyetbecalled。NowImustleavehimforawhile,andtakeupthestoryoftherestofthefewpersonsconcernedinmytale。
LadyEmilyhadgonetoMadeira,andMr。Arnoldhadfollowed。Mrs。
EltonandHarry,andMargaret,ofcourse,hadgonetoLondon。
EuphrawasleftaloneatArnstead。
Agreatalterationhadtakenplaceinthisstrangegirl。Theservantswerepositivelyafraidofhernow,fromthebutlerdowntothekitchen-maid。Sheusedtogointoviolentfitsofpassion,inwhichthemereflashofhereyeswasoverpowering。Theseoutbreakswouldbefollowedalmostinstantaneouslybyseasonsofthedeepestdejection,inwhichshewouldconfineherselftoherroomforhours,or,lameasshewas,wanderaboutthehouseandtheGhost\'sWalk,herselfpaleasaghost,andlookingmeagreandwretched。
Also,shebecamesubjecttofrequentfaintingfits,thefirstofwhichtookplacethenightbeforeHugh\'sdeparture,aftershehadreturnedtothehousefromherinterviewwithhimintheGhost\'sWalk。Shewasevidentlymiserable。
Forthismiseryweknowthattherewereverysufficientreasons,withouttakingintoaccountthefactthatshehadnoonetofascinatenow。Hercontinuedlameness,whichherrestlessnessaggravated,likewisegavehergreatcauseforanxiety。ButI
presumethat,evenduringtheearlypartofherconfinement,hermindhadbeenthrownbackuponitself,inthatconsciousnesswhichoftenarisesinlonelinessandsuffering;andthateventhenshehadbeguntofeelthatherownselfwasaworsetyrantthanthecount,andmadeheramorewretchedslavethananyexerciseofhisunlawfulpowercouldmakeher。
Somenatureswillendureanimmenseamountofmiserybeforetheyfeelcompelledtolookthereforhelp,whenceallhelpandhealingcomes。Theycannotbelievethatthereisverilyanunseenmysteriouspower,tilltheworldandallthatisinithasvanishedinthesmokeofdespair;tillcauseandeffectisnothingtotheintellect,andpossibleglorieshavefadedfromtheimagination;
then,deprivedofallthatmadelifepleasantorhopeful,theimmortalessence,lonelyandwretchedandunabletocease,looksupwithitsnowunfetteredandwakenedinstinct,tothesourceofitsownlife——tothepossibleGodwho,notwithstandingalltheimprobabilitiesofhisexistence,mayyetperhapsbe,andmayyetperhapshearhiswretchedcreaturethatcalls。Inthislonelinessofdespair,lifemustfindTheLife;forjoyisgone,andlifeisallthatisleft:itiscompelledtoseekitssource,itsroot,itseternallife。Thisaloneremainsasapossiblething。StrangeconditionofdespairintowhichtheSpiritofGoddrivesaman——aconditioninwhichtheBestaloneisthePossible!
Othersimplernatureslookupatonce。Evenbeforethefirstpanghaspassedaway,asbyaholyinstinctofcelestialchildhood,theylifttheireyestotheheavenswhencecomeththeiraid。OfthisclassEuphrawasnot。Shebelongedtotheformer。Andyetevenshehadbeguntolookupward,forthewatershadclosedaboveherhead。
ShebetookherselftotheonemanofwhomshehadheardasknowingaboutGod。Shewrote,butnoanswercame。Daysanddayspassedaway,andtherewasnoreply。
“Ah!justso!”shesaid,inbitterness。“AndifIcriedtoGodforever,Ishouldhearnowordofreply。Ifhebe,hesitsapart,andleavestheweaktobethepreyofthebad。Whatcareshe?”
Yet,asshespoke,sherose,and,byasuddenimpulse,threwherselfonthefloor,andcriedforthefirsttime:
“OGod,helpme!”
Wastherevoiceorhearing?
Sheroseatleastwithalittlehope,andwiththefeelingthatifshecouldcrytohim,itmightbethathecouldlistentoher。Itseemednaturaltopray;itseemedtocomeofitself:thatcouldnotbeexceptitwasfirstnaturalforGodtohear。Thefoundationofherownactionmustbeinhimwhomadeher;forhercallcouldbeonlyaresponseafterall。
Thetimepassedwearilyby。Dim,slowNovemberdayscameon,withthefallofthelastbrownshredofthosecloudsoflivinggreenthathadfloatedbetwixtearthandheaven。ThroughthebareboughsoftheoverarchingavenueoftheGhost\'sWalk,themselveslivingskeletons,shecouldnowlookstraightuptothebluesky,whichhadbeenthereallthetime。Andshehadbeguntolookuptoahigherheaven,throughthebareskeletonshapesoflife;forthefoliageofjoyhadwhollyvanished——shallwesayinorderthatthechildrenofthespringmightcome?——certainlyinorderfirstthattheblueskyofadeeperpeacemightreflectitselfinthehithertodarkenedwatersofhersoul。
Perhapssomeofmyreadersmaythinkthatshehadenoughtorepentoftokeepherfromweariness。Shehadplentytorepentof,nodoubt;butrepentance,betweentheparoxysmsofitsbitterness,isaverydrearyandNovember-likestateofthespiritualweather。Foritsfoggymorningsandcheerlessnoonscannotbelieveinthesunofspring,soontoripenintothesunofsummer;anditsbesttimeisthenight,thatshutsouttheworldandweepsitsfillofslowtears。Butshewasnotaltogethersoblameworthyasshemayhaveappeared。Heraffectationshadnotbeenaltogetherfalse。Shevalued,andinameasurepossessed,thefeelingsforwhichshesoughtcredit。Shehadagenuineenjoymentofnature,thoughafterasensuous,Keats-likefashion,notaWordsworthian。Itwasthebody,ratherthanthesoul,ofnaturethatsheloved——itsbeautyratherthanitstruth。Hadherloveofnaturebeenofthedeepest,shewouldhaveturnedasidetoconcealheremotionsratherthanhaveheldthemupasallurementsintheeyesofhercompanion。Butasnobodyandnobeautycanexistwithoutsoulandtruth,shewholovestheformermustatleastbecapableoflovingthedeeperessencetowhichtheyowetheirveryexistence。
ThisviewofhercharacterisborneoutbyherloveofmusicandherlikingforHugh。Bothweregenuine。Hadthelatterbeeneithermoreorlessgenuinethanitwas,thetaskoffascinationwouldhavebeenmoredifficult,anditssuccesslesscomplete。Whetherherownfeelingsbecamefurtherinvolvedthanshehadcalculatedupon,I
cannottell;butsurelyitsayssomethingforher,inanycase,thatshedesiredtoretainHughasherfriend,insteadofhatinghimbecausehehadbeenherlover。
HowgladshewouldhavebeenofHarrynow!Thedayscrawledoneaftertheotherlikewearysnakes。ShetriedtoreadtheNewTestament:itwastoherlikeamouldychamberofworm-eatenparchments,whosewindowshadnotbeenopenedtothesunorthewindforcenturies;andinwhichthedustofthedecayingleaveschokedthefewbeamsthatfoundtheirwaythroughtheage-blindedpanes。
Thisstateofthingscouldnothavelastedlong;forEuphrawouldhavedied。Itlasted,however,untilshefeltthatshehadbeenleadingafalse,worthlesslife;thatshehadbeencastingfromhereverydaythefewremainingfragmentsoftruthandrealitythatyetkepthernaturefromfallinginaheapofhelplessruin;thatshehadneverbeenatruefriendtoanyone;thatshewasofnovalue——fitfornoone\'sadmiration,noone\'slove。Shemustleaveherformerself,likeadeadbody,behindher,andriseintoapurerairoflifeandreality,elseshewouldperishwiththateverlastingdeathwhichisthediseaseandcorruptionofthesoulitself。
Tothosewhoknowanythingofsuchexperiences,itwillnotbesurprisingthatsuchfeelingsastheseshouldbealternatedwithfierceburstsofpassion。Theoldselfthenstartedupwithfeverishenergy,andwrithedforlife。Neveranyonetriedtobebetter,without,foratime,seemingtohimself,perhapstoothers,tobeworse。Forthesufferingofthespiritweakensthebrainitself,andthewholephysicalnaturegroansunderit;whiletheenergyspentintheefforttoawake,andarisefromthedust,leavestheregionspreviouslyguardedbyprudencenakedtothewildinroadsofthesuddendestroyingimpulsesbornofsuffering,self-sickness,andhatred。Asinthedeliriouspatient,theywoulddashtotheearthwhatevercomesfirstwithinreach,asifthethingfirstperceived,andso(byperceptionalone)broughtintocontactwiththesuffering,werethecauseofallthedistress。
Onedayaletterarrivedforher。Shehadhadnoletterfromanyoneforweeks。Yet,whenshesawthedirection,sheflungitfromher。ItwasfromMrs。Elton,whomshedisliked,becauseshefoundherutterlyuninterestingandverystupid。
PoorMrs。Eltonlaidnoclaimtothecontrariesoftheseepithets。
Butinproportionassheabjuredthought,sheclaimedspeech,bothbywordofmouthandbyletter。Whynot?Therewasnothinginit。
Sheconsideredreasonasanawfulenemytothesoul,andobnoxioustoGod,especiallywhenappliedtofindoutwhathemeanswhenheaddressesusasreasonablecreatures。Butspeech?Therewasnoharminthat。Perhapsitwassomelatentconvictionthatthispowerofspeechwasthechiefdistinctionbetweenherselfandtheloweranimals,thatmadeheruseitsofreely,andatthesametimeopenherpursesoliberallytotheHospitalforOrphanDogsandCats。Haditnotbeenforherowndirenecessity,thefactthatMrs。EltonwasreligiouswouldhavebeenenoughtoconvinceEuphrathattherecouldnotpossiblybeanythinginreligion。
Theletterlayunopenedtillnextday——afacteasytoaccountfor,improbableasitmayseem;forbesideswritingaslargelyasshetalked,andlessamusinglybecausemorecorrectly,Mrs。Eltonwrotesuchanindistinctthoughpunctiliouslyneathand,thatthereadingofaletterofhersinvolvednosmallamountoflabour。Butthesunshiningoutnextmorning,Euphratookcouragetoreadit,whiledrinkinghercoffee,althoughshecouldnotexpecttomakethatceremonymorepleasantthereby。ItcontainedaninvitationtovisitMrs。Eltonatherhousein——Street,HydePark,withtheassurancethat,nowthateverythingwasarranged,theyhadplentyofroomforher。Mrs。EltonwassureshemustbelonelyatArnstead;andMrs。
Hortoncould,nodoubt,betrusted——andsoon。
Hadthisletterarrivedafewweeksearlier,Euphrawouldhaveinfusedintoheransweraskilfulconcoctionofdelicatecontempt;
notfortheamusementofknowingthatMrs。Eltonwouldneverdiscoveratraceofit,butsimplyforarelieftoherowndislike。
Nowshewouldhavewrittenaplainletter,containingasbriefandastrueanexcuseasshecouldfind,haditnotbeen,that,inclosedinMrs。Elton\'snoteshefoundanother,whichranthus:
“DEAREUPHRA,——Docomeandseeus。IdonotlikeLondonatallwithoutyou。TherearenohappydaysherelikethosewehadatArnsteadwithMr。Sutherland。Mrs。EltonandMargaretareverykindtome。ButIwishyouwouldcome。Do,do,do。Pleasedo。
“Youraffectionatecousin,“HARRYARNOLD。“
“Thedearboy!”saidEuphra,withagushofpureandgratefulaffection;“Iwillgoandseehim。“
Harryhadbeguntoworkwithhismasters,andwasdoinghisbest,whichwasverygood。Ifhisheartwasnotsomuchinitaswhenhewasstudyingwithhisbigbrother,hegainedagreatbenefitfromtheincreaseofexercisetohiswill,inthedoingofwhatwaslesspleasant。EversinceHughhadgivenhisfacultiesarightdirection,andaidedhimbyhealthfulmanlysympathy,hehadbeenmakingupfortheperiodduringwhichchildhoodhadbeenprotractedintoboyhood;andnowhewasmakingrapidprogress。
WhenEuphraarrived,Harryrushedtothehalltomeether。Shetookhiminherarms,andburstintotears。Hertearsdrewforthhis。
Hestrokedherpaleface,andsaid:
“DearEuphra,howillyoulook!”
“Ishallsoonbebetternow,Harry。“
“Iwasafraidyoudidnotloveme,Euphra;butnowIamsureyoudo。“
“IndeedIdo。IamverysorryforeverythingthatmadeyouthinkI
didnotloveyou。“
“No,no。Itwasallmyfancy。Nowweshallbeveryhappy。“
AndsoHarrywas。AndEuphra,throughmeansofHarry,begantogainalittleofwhatisbetterthanmostkindsofhappiness,becauseitisnearesttothebesthappiness——Imeanpeace。Thisforetasteofrestcametoherfromthedevotednesswithwhichshenowappliedherselftoaidtheintellect,whichshehadunconsciouslyrepressedandstuntedbefore。ShetookHarry\'sbookswhenhehadgonetobed;
andreadoverallhislessons,thatshemightbeabletoassisthiminpreparingthem;venturingthusintosomeregionsoflabourintowhichladiesaretooseldomconductedbythosewhoinstructthem。
Thisproducedinherquitenewexperiences。Oneofthesewas,thatinproportionasshelabouredforHarry,hopegrewforherself。Itwaslikewiseofthegreatestimmediatebenefitthattheintervalsofthought,insteadoflyingvacanttomelancholy,orthevapoursthatsprungfromtheforegoingstrifeofthespiritualelements,shouldbeoccupiedbyhealthymentalexercise。
Still,however,shewassubjecttogreatvicissitudesoffeeling。A
kindofpeevishness,towhichshehadformerlybeenastranger,wasbuttooreadytoappear,evenwhenshewasmostanxious,inherconversewithHarry,tobehavewelltohim。Butthepureforgivenessoftheboywaswonderful。Insteadofplaguinghimselftofindoutthecauseofherbehaviour,orresentingitintheleast,heonlylaboured,byincreasedattentionandsubmission,toremoveit;andseemedperfectlysatisfiedwhenitwasfollowedbyakindword,whichtohimwasrepentance,apology,amends,andbetterment,allinone。Whenhehadthusdrivenawaytheevilspirit,therewasEuphraherownself。Soperfectlydidshesee,andsothoroughlyappreciatethiskindnessandloveofHarry,thathebegantolooktoherlikeanangelofforgivenesscometoliveaboy\'slife,thathemightdoanangel\'swork。
Herhealthcontinuedverypoor。Shesufferedconstantlyfrommoreorlessheadache,andattimesfromfaintings。Butshehadnotforsometimediscoveredanysignsofsomnambulism。
Ofthispeculiarityherfriendswereentirelyignorant。Theoccasions,indeed,onwhichithadmanifesteditselftoanexcessivedegree,hadbeenbutfew。
CHAPTERIX。
THENEWPUPILS。
Thinkyoualittledincandauntmineears?
HaveInotinmytimeheardlionsroar?
Anddoyoutellmeofawoman\'stongue,Thatgivesnothalfsogreatablowtohear,Aswillachestnutinafarmer\'sfire?
Tush!tush!fearboyswithbugs。
TamingoftheShrew。
DuringthewholeofhisfirstinterviewwithFalconer,whichlastedsolongthathehadbeengladtomakeabedofFalconer\'ssofa,HughneveroncereferredtotheobjectforwhichhehadacceptedMacPherson\'sprofferedintroduction;nordidFalconeraskhimanyquestions。HughwastoomuchinterestedandsaddenedbythescenesthroughwhichFalconerledhim,nottoshrinkfromspeakingofanythinglessimportant;andwithFalconeritwasarule,aprinciplealmost,nevertoexpediteutteranceofanysort。
Inthemorning,feelingalittlegood-naturedanxietyastohislandlady\'sreceptionofhim,Hughmadesomeallusiontoit,ashesatathisnewfriend\'sbreakfast-table。
Falconersaid:
“Whatisyourlandlady\'sname?”
“MissTalbot。“
“Oh!littleMissTalbot?Youareingoodquarters——toogoodtolose,Icantellyou。JustsaytoMissTalbotthatyouwerewithme。“
“Youknowher,then?”
“Oh,yes。“
“Youseemtoknoweverybody。“
“IfIhavespokentoapersononce,Ineverforgethim。“
“Thatseemstomeverystrange。“
“Itissimpleenough。Thesecretofitis,that,asfarasIcanhelpit,Ineverhaveanymerelybusinessrelationswithanyone。I
tryalwaysnottoforgetthatthereisadeeperrelationbetweenus。
Icommonlysucceedworstinadrawing-room;yeteventhere,forthetimewearetogether,Itrytorecognisethepresenthumanity,howevermuchdistortedorconcealed。Theconsequenceis,Ineverforgetanybody;andIgenerallyfindthatothersrememberme——atleastthosewithwhomIhavehadanyrealrelations,springingfrommyneedorfromtheirs。Themanwhomendsabrokenchairforyou,orarentinyourcoat,rendersyouahumanservice;and,invirtueofthat,comesnearertoyourinnerself,thannine-tenthsoftheladiesandgentlemenwhomyoumeetonlyinwhatiscalledsociety,arelikelytodo。“
“Butdoyounotfinditawkwardsometimes?”
“Notintheleast。Iamneverashamedofknowinganyone;andasI
neverassumeafamiliaritythatdoesnotexist,Ineverfinditassumedtowardsme。“
HughfoundtheadvantageofFalconer\'ssociologywhenhementionedtoMissTalbotthathehadbeenhisguestthatnight。
“Youshouldhavesentusword,Mr。Sutherland,“wasallMissTalbot\'sreply。
“Icouldnotdosobeforeyoumusthavebeenallinbed。Iwassorry,butIcouldhardlyhelpit。“
MissTalbotturnedawayintothekitchen。Theonlyotherindicationofherfeelinginthematterwas,thatshesenthimupacupofdeliciouschocolateforhislunch,beforehesetoutforMr。
Appleditch\'s,whereshehadheardattheshopthathewasgoing。
MyreadermustnotbelefttofearthatIamabouttogiveadetailedaccountofHugh\'splanswiththeseunpleasantlittleimmortals,whoseearthlynaturesprangfromapairwhosereligionconsistedchieflyinnegations,andwhosemaindutyseemedtobetomakemoneyinsmallsums,andspenditinsmaller。WhenhearrivedatBuccleuchCrescent,hewasshownintothedining-room,intowhichtheboyswereseparatelydragged,toreceivethefirstinstalmentofthementallegacyleftthembytheirancestors。Butthelegacy-dutywassoheavythattheywouldgladlyhavedeclinedpayingit,evenwiththelossofthelegacyitself;andHughwasdismayedattheimpossibilityofinterestingtheminanything。Hetriedtellingthemstorieseven,withoutsuccess。Theystaredathim,itistrue;
butwhethertherewasmorespeculationintheopenmouths,orinthefishy,overfedeyes,hefounditimpossibletodetermine。HecouldnothelpfeelingtheriddleofProvidenceinregardtothebirthofthese,muchhardertoreadthanthatinvolvedinthecaseofsomeofthelittlethieveswhoseacquaintancehehadmade,whenwithFalconer,theeveningbefore。Buthedidhisbest;andbeforethetimehadexpired——twohours,namely,——hehadfoundout,tohissatisfaction,thattheelderhadaturnforsums,andtheyoungerfordrawing。Sohemadeuseofthesepredilectionstobribethemtotheexerciseoftheirintellectuponless-favouredbranchesofhumanaccomplishment。Hefoundtheplanoperateaswellasitcouldhavebeenexpectedtooperateuponsuchmaterial。
Butoneortwolittleincidents,relatingtohisintercoursewithMrs。Appleditch,Imustnotomit。Thoughamother\'sloveismorereadytopurifyitselfthanmostotherloves——yetthereisaclassofmothers,whoseloveisonlyanextended,scarcelyanexpanded,selfishness。Mrs。Appleditchdidnotintheleastloveherchildrenbecausetheywerechildren,andchildrencommittedtohercarebytheFatherofallchildren;butshelovedthemdearlybecausetheywereherchildren。
OnedayHughgaveMasterAppleditchasmartslapacrossthefingers,astheultimateresource。Thechildscreamedashewellknewhow。
Hismotherburstintotheroom。
“Johnny,holdyourtongue!”
“Teacher\'sbeenandhurtme。“
“Holdyourtongue,Isay。Myhead\'sliketosplit。Getoutoftheroom,youlittleruffian!”
Sheseizedhimbytheshoulders,andturnedhimout,administeringaboxonhisearthatmadetheroomring。ThenturningtoHugh,“Mr。Sutherland,howdareyoustrikemychild?”shedemanded。
“Herequiredit,Mrs。Appleditch。Ididhimnoharm。HewillmindwhatIsayanothertime。“
“Iwillnothavehimtouched。It\'sdisgraceful。Tostrikeachild!”
Shebelongedtothatclassofhumaneparentswhoconsideritcrueltoinflictanycorporalsufferinguponchildren,excepttheydoitthemselves,andinapassion。Johnniebehavedbetterafterthis,however;andtheonlyrevengeMrs。Appleditchtookforthisinterferencewiththedignityofhereldestborn,and,consequently,withherownashismother,was,that——withtheview,probably,ofimpressinguponHughaduesenseofthemenialpositionheoccupiedinherfamily——shealwayspaidhimhisfeeofoneshillingandsixpenceeverydaybeforeheleftthehouse。Onceortwiceshecontrivedaccidentallythatthesixpenceshouldbeincoppers。Hughwastoomuchofaphilosopher,however,tomindthisfromsuchawoman。Iamafraidheratherenjoyedherspite;forhefeltitdidnottouchhim,seeingitcouldnotbelesshonourabletobepaidbythedaythanbythequarterorbytheyear。Certainlythecopperswereanannoyance;butifthecopperscouldbecarried,theannoyancecouldbeborne。Therealdisgustintheaffairwas,thathehadtomeetandspeakwithawomaneveryday,forwhomhecouldfeelnothingbutcontemptandaversion。Hughwasnotyetabletominglewiththesefeelingsanyoftheleavenofthatcharitywhichtheyneedmostofallwhoarecontemptibleintheeyeoftheirfellows。Contemptismurdercommittedbytheintellect,ashatredismurdercommittedbytheheart。Charityhavinglifeinitself,istheoppositeanddestroyerofcontemptaswellasofhatred。
Afterthis,nothingwentamissforsometime。Butitwasverydrearyworktoteachsuchboys——fortheyoungercameinfortheoddsixpence。Slow,stupid,resistanceappearedtobetheonlyprincipleoftheirbehaviourtowardshim。Theyscornedthemanwhomtheirmotherdespisedandvaluedfortheself-samereason,namely,thathewascheap。Theywouldhavedefiedhimhadtheydared,buthemanagedtoestablishanauthorityoverthem——andtoincreaseit。
Still,hecouldnotrousethemtoanyrealinterestintheirstudies。Indeed,theywereasnearbeinglittlebeastsasitwaspossibleforchildrentobe。Theireyesgrewdullatastory-book,butgreedilybrightatthesightofbull\'seyesortoffee。Itwasthesamedayafterday,tillhewassickofit。Nodoubttheymadesomeprogress,butitwasscarcelyperceptibletohim。Throughfogandfair,throughfrostandsnow,throughwindandrain,hetrudgedtothatwretchedhouse。Noonemindstheweather——noyoungScotchman,atleast——whereanypleasurewaitsthecloseofthestruggle:tofighthiswaytomiserywasmorethanhecouldwellendure。Buthisdeliverancewasnearerthanheexpected。Itwasnottocomejustyet,however。
Allwentonwithfrightfulsameness,tillsundrydoubtfulsymptomsofanalterationinthepersonalappearanceofHughhavingaccumulatedatlastintoamassofevidence,forcedtheconvictionuponthemindofthegrocer\'swife,thathertutorwasactuallygrowingabeard。Couldshebelievehereyes?Shesaidshecouldnot。Butsheactedontheirtestimonynotwithstanding;andonedaysuddenlyaddressingHugh,said,inherusualcold,thin,cuttingfashionofspeech:
“Mr。Sutherland,Iamastonishedandgrievedthatyou,ateacherofbabes,whoshouldsetanexampletothem,shoulddisguiseyourselfinsuchanoutlandishfigure。“
“Whatdoyoumean,Mrs。Appleditch?”askedHugh,who,thoughhehadmadeuphismindtofollowtheexampleofFalconer,yetfeltuncomfortableenough,duringthetransitionperiod,toknowquitewellwhatshemeant。
“WhatdoImean,sir?Itisashameforamantolethisbeardgrowlikeamonkey。“
“Butamonkeyhasn\'tabeard,“retortedHugh,laughing。“Manistheonlyanimalwhohasone。“
Thisassertion,ifnotquitecorrect,wasapproximatelyso,andwentmuchnearerthetruththanMrs。Appleditch\'sargument。
“It\'snojokingmatter,Mr。Sutherland,withmytwodarlingsgrowinguptobeministersofthegospel。“
“What!bothofthem?”thoughtHugh。“Goodheavens!”Buthesaid:
“Well,butyouknow,Mrs。Appleditch,theApostlesthemselvesworebeards。“
“Yes,whentheywereJews。Butwhowouldhavebelievedthemiftheyhadpreachedthegospellikeoldclothesmen?No,no,Mr。
Sutherland,Iseethroughallthat。Myownunclewasapreacheroftheword——AssoonastheApostlesbecameChristians,theyshaved。
ItwasthesignofChristianity。TheApostlePaulhimselfsaysthatcleanlinessisnexttogodliness。“
Hughrestrainedhislaughter,andshiftedhisground。
“Butthereisnothingdirtyaboutthem,“hesaid。
“Notdirty?Nowreally,Mr。Sutherland,youprovokeme。Nothingdirtyinlonghairallroundyourmouth,andgoingintoiteveryspoonfulyoutake?”
“Butitcanbekeptproperlytrimmed,youknow。“
“Butwho\'stotrustyoutodothat?No,no,Mr。Sutherland;youmustnotmakeaguyofyourself。“
Hughlaughed,andsaidnothing。Ofcoursehisbeardwouldgoongrowing,forhecouldnothelpit。
SodidMrs。Appleditch\'swrath。
CHAPTERX。
CONSULTATIONS。
WokeineG鰐tersind,waltenGespenster。
NOVALIS——Christenheit。
Wheregodsarenot,spectresrule。
EinCharakteristeinvollkommengebildeterWille。
NOVALIS——MoralischeAnsichten。
Acharacterisaperfectlyformedwill。
ItwasnotlongbeforeHughrepeatedhisvisittoFalconer。Hewasnotathome。Hewentagainandagain,butstillfailedinfindinghim。Thedayafterthethirdfailure,however,hereceivedanotefromFalconer,mentioninganhouratwhichhewouldbeathomeonthefollowingevening。Hughwent。Falconerwaswaitingforhim。
“Iamverysorry。Iamoutsomuch,“saidFalconer。
“IoughttohavetakentheopportunitywhenIhadit,“repliedHugh。
“Iwanttoaskyourhelp。MayIbeginatthebeginning,andtellyouallthestory?ormustIepitomizeandcurtailit?”
“Beasdiffuseasyouplease。Ishallunderstandthethingthebetter。“
SoHughbegan,andtoldthewholeofhishistory,inasfarasitboreuponthestoryofthecrystal。Heendedwiththewords:
“Itrust,Mr。Falconer,youwillnotthinkthatitisfromaloveoftalkingthatIhavesaidsomuchaboutthisaffair。“
“Certainlynot。Itisaremarkablestory。Iwillthinkwhatcanbedone。MeantimeIwillkeepmyeyesandearsopen。Imayfindthefellow。Tellmewhatheislike。“
Hughgaveasminuteadescriptionofthecountashecould。
“IthinkIseetheman,“saidFalconer。“IamprettysureIshallrecognisehim。“
“Haveyouanyideawhathecouldwantwiththering?”
“Itisoneofthecuriouscoincidenceswhicharealwayshappening,“
answeredFalconer,“thatanewspaperofthisverydaywouldhaveenabledme,withoutanypreviousknowledgeofsimilarfacts,togiveaprobablycorrectsuggestionastohisobject。Butyoucanjudgeforyourself。“
Sosaying,Falconerwenttoaside-table,heapedupwithbooksandpapers,maps,andinstrumentsofvariouskinds,apparentlyintriumphantconfusion。Withoutamoment\'shesitation,notwithstanding,heselectedthepaperhewanted,andhandedittoHugh,whoreadinitalettertotheeditor,ofwhichthefollowingisaportion:——
“Ihaveforoverthirtyyearsbeeninthehabitofinvestigatingthequestionbymeansofcrystals。Andsince18——,Ihavepossessedthecelebratedcrystal,oncebelongingtoLadyBlessington,inwhichverymanypersons,bothchildrenandadults,haveseenvisionsofthespiritsofthedeceased,orofbeingsclaimingtobesuch,andofnumerousangelsandotherbeingsofthespiritualworld。ThesehaveinallcasessupportedthepurestandmostliberalChristianity。ThefacultyofseeinginthecrystalIhavefoundtoexistinaboutonepersonintenamongadults,andinnearlynineineverytenamongchildren;manyofwhomappeartolosethefacultyastheygrowtoadultage,unlesstheypractiseitcontinually。“
“Isitpossible,“saidHugh,pausing,“thatthiscanbeaveritablepaperofto-day?Aretherepeopletobelievesuchthings?”
“Therearemorefoolsintheworld,Mr。Sutherland,thantherearecrystalsinitsmountains。“
Hughresumedhisreading。Hecameatlengthtothispassage:
“Thespirits——whichIfeelcertaintheyare——whichappear,donothesitatetoinformusonallpossiblesubjectswhichmaytendtoimproveourmorals,andconfirmourfaithintheChristiandoctrines……Thecharactertheygiveoftheclassofspiritswhoareinthehabitofcommunicatingwithmortalsbyrappingandsuchproceedings,issuchthatitbehovesallChristianpeopletobeontheirguardagainsterroranddelusionthroughtheirmeans。“
Hughhadreadthispassagealoud。
“Isnotthatacomfort,now,Mr。Sutherland?”saidFalconer。“ForinallthereportswhichIhaveseenofthereligiousinstructioncommunicatedinthathighlyarticulatemanner,Calvinism,highandlow,haspredominated。IstronglysuspectthecrystalphantomsofArminianism,though。FancytheolddisputesofinfantChristendomperpetuatedamongstthepaltryghostsofanotherrealm!”
“But,“saidHugh,“Idonotquiteseehowthisistohelpme,astothecount\'sobjectinsecuringthering;forcertainly,howeverdeficienthemaybeinsuchknowledge,heisnotlikelytohavecommittedthetheftforthesakeofinstructioninthedoctrinesofthesects。“
“No。Butsuchacrystalmightbeputtoother,nottosaybetter,uses。Besides,LadyBlessington\'scrystalmightbeapiouscrystal;
andtheotherwhichbelongedtoLady——“
“LadyEuphrasia。“
“ToLadyEuphrasia,mightbeaworldlycrystalaltogether。Thismightrevealdemonsandtheircounsels,whilethatwashauntedbytheologicalangelsandevangelicalghosts。“
“Ah!Isee。Ishouldhavethought,however,thatthecounthadbeentoomuchofamanoftheworldtobelievesuchthings。“
“Hemightfindhisaccountinit,notwithstanding。Butnoamountofworld-wisdomcansetamanabovetheinroadsofsuperstition。Infact,thereisbutonethingthatcanfreeamanfromsuperstition,andthatisbelief。Allhistoryprovesit。Themostscepticalhaveeverbeenthemostcredulous。Thisisoneofthebestargumentsfortheexistenceofsomethingtobelieve。“
“YouremindmeofapassageinmystorywhichIomitted,asirrelevanttothematterinhand。“
“Doletmehaveit。Itcannotfailtointerestme。“
Hughgaveacompleteaccountoftheexperimentstheyhadmadewiththecareeringplate。NowthewritingofthenameofDavidElginbrodwasthemostremarkablephenomenonofthewhole,andHughwascompelled,inrespondingtothenaturalinterestofFalconer,togiveadescriptionofDavid。ThisledtoasketchofhisownsojournatTurriepuffit;inwhichthecharacterofDavidcameoutfarmoreplainlythanitcouldhavecomeoutinanydescription。
Whenhehadfinished,Falconerbrokeout,asifhehadbeenhithertorestraininghiswrathwithdifficulty:
“Andthatwasthemanthecreaturesdaredtopersonate!Ihatethewholething,Sutherland。Itisfullofimpudenceandirreverence。
Perhapsthewretchedbeingsmaywantanotherthousandyears\'
damnation,becauseoftheinjurydonetotheircharacterbythehomageofmenwhooughttoknowbetter。“
“Idonotquiteunderstandyou。“
“Imean,thatyououghttobelieveaseasilythatsuchamanasyoudescribeislaughingwiththedevilandhisangels,asthathewroteacopyattheorderofacharlatan,orworse。“
“Butitcouldhardlybedeception。“
“Notdeception?Amanlikehimcouldnotgetthroughthemwithoutbeingrecognised。“
“Idon\'tunderstandyou。Bywhom?”
“Byswarmsoflowmiserablecreaturesthatsolamentthelossoftheirbeggarlybodiesthattheywouldbrooduponthemintheshapeofflesh-flies,ratherthanforsaketheputrifyingremnants。Afterthat,chairortableoranythingthattheycancomeintocontactwith,possessesquitesufficientorganizationforsuch。Don\'tyourememberthatonce,ratherthanhavenobodytogointo,theycreptintotheveryswine?Therewasafinepassionforself-embodimentandsympathy!Buttheswinethemselvescouldnotstandit,andpreferreddrowning。“
“Thenyoudothinktherewassomethingsupernaturalinit?”
“Nothingintheleast。Itrequirednosupernaturalpowerstobeawarethatagreatmanwasdead,andthatyouhadknownhimwell。
Itannoysme,Sutherland,thatablemen,ay,andgoodmentoo,shouldconsultwithghostswhoseonlypossiblesuperiorityconsistsintheirbeingoutofthebody。Whyshouldtheybethewiserforthat?Ishouldassoonexpecttogainwisdombytakingoffmyclothes,andtoloseitbygettingintobed;ortoriseintotheseventhheavenofspiritualitybyhavingmyhaircut。Animpudentforgeryofthatgoodman\'sname!IfIwereyou,Sutherland,Iwouldhavenothingtodowithsuchalowset。Theyarethecanailleoftheotherworld。It\'sofnousetolayholdontheirskirts,fortheycan\'tfly。They\'rejustlikethevultures——easytocatch,becausethey\'refullofgarbage。Idoubtiftheyhavemoreintellectleftthanjustenoughtoliewith——Ihavebeencompelledtothinkagooddealaboutthesethingsoflate。“
FalconerputagoodmanyquestionstoHugh,aboutEuphraandherrelationtothecount;andsuchwastheconfidencewithwhichhehadinspiredhim,thatHughfeltatperfectlibertytoanswerthemallfully,notavoidingeventheexposureofhisownfeelings,wherethatwasinvolvedbythestory。
“Now,“saidFalconer,“Ihavematerialoutofwhichtoconstructatheory。Thecountisatpresentlikealawofnatureconcerningwhichaprudentquestionisthefirsthalfoftheanswer,asLordBaconsays;andyoucanputnoquestionwithouthavingfirstformedatheory,howeverslightortemporary;forotherwisenoquestionwillsuggestitself。But,inthemeantime,asIsaidbefore,IwillmakeinquiryuponthetheorythatheissomewhereinLondon,althoughIdoubtit。“
“ThenIwillnotoccupyyourtimeanylongeratpresent,“saidHugh。
“Couldyousay,withoutfetteringyourselfintheleast,whenI
mightbeabletoseeyouagain?”
“Letmesee。Iwillmakeanappointmentwithyou——NextSunday;
here;atteno\'clockinthemorning。Makeanoteofit。“
“Thereisnofearofmyforgettingit。MyconsolationsarenotsonumerousthatIcanaffordtoforgetmysolepleasure。You,I
shouldthink,havemoreneedtomakeanoteofitthanI,thoughI
amquitewillingtobeforgotten,ifnecessary。“
“Ineverforgetmyengagements,“saidFalconer。
Theyparted,andHughwenthometohisnovel。
CHAPTERXI。
QUESTIONSANDDREAMS。
OnacertaintimetheLadySt。MaryhadcommandedtheLordJesustofetchhersomewateroutofthewell。Andwhenhehadgonetofetchthewater,thepitcher,whenitwasbroughtupfull,brake。ButJesus,spreadinghismantle,gatheredupthewateragain,andbroughtitinthattohismother——TheFirst(apocryphal)GospeloftheINFANCYofJESUSCHRIST。
Mrs。Eltonreadprayersmorningandevening;——veryelaboratecompositions,whichwouldhaveinstructedtheapostlesthemselvesinmanythingstheyhadneveranticipated。But,unfortunately,Mrs。
Eltonmustlikewisereadcertainremarks,intheformofahomily,intendedtoimpressthescripturewhichprecededituponthemindsofthelisteners。Betweenthemortarofthehomilist\'sfaith,andthedullblowsofthepestleofhisarrogance,thefairformoftruthwasgroundintothepowderofpioussmalltalk。ThisresultwasnotpleasanteithertoHarryortoEuphra。Euphra,withherlifethreateningtogotoruinabouther,wascryingoutforhimwhomadethesoulofman,“wholovedusintobeing,“2andwhoalonecanrenewthelifeofhischildren;andinsuchwordsasthoseascoffingdemonseemedtomockatherneeds。Harryhadthenaturaldislikeofallchildlikenaturestoeverythingformal,exclusive,andunjust。But,havingreceivednothingofwhatiscommonlycalledareligioustraining,thisadvantageresultedfromhisnewexperiencesinMrs。Elton\'sfamily,thatagooddirectionwasgiventohisthoughtsbythedislikewhichhefelttosuchutterances。
Morethanthis:ahorrorfelluponhimlestthesethingsshouldbetrue;lestthemightyAllofnatureshouldbeonlyamechanism,withoutexpressionandwithoutbeauty;lesttheGodwhomadeusshouldbelikeusonlyinthis,thathetoowasselfishandmeanandproud;lesthisideasshouldresemblethosethatinhabitthebrainofaretiredmoney-maker,orofanarbitrarymonarchclaimingadivineright——insteadoftoweringastheheavensovertheearth,abovetheloftiestmoodsofhighestpoet,mostgenerouschild,ormostdevotedmother。IdonotmeanthatthesethoughtstooktheseshapesinHarry\'smind;butthathisfeelingsweresuchasmighthavebeencondensedintosuchthoughts,hadhisintellectbeenmoremature。
Onemorning,thepassageofscripturewhichMrs。EltonreadwasthestoryoftheyoungmanwhocametoJesus,andwentawaysorrowful,becausetheLordthoughtsowellofhim,andlovedhimsoheartily,thathewantedtosethimfreefromhisriches。AgreatportionofthehomilywasoccupiedwithprovingthattheevangelistcouldnotpossiblymeanthatJesuslovedtheyoungmaninanypregnantsenseoftheword;butmerelymeantthatJesus“feltkindlydisposedtowardshim“——feltapoorlittlehumaninterestinhim,infact,anddidnotlovehimdivinelyatall。
Harry\'sfacewasinaflameallthetimeshewasreading。Whentheservicewasover——andabondserviceitwasforEuphraandhim——theylefttheroomtogether。Assoonasthedoorwasshut,heburstout:
“Isay,Euphra!Wasn\'tthatashame?TheywouldhaveJesusasbadasthemselves。WeshallhavesomebodywritingabooknexttoprovethatafterallJesuswasaPharisee。“
“Nevermind,“saidtheheart-sore,scepticalEuphra;“nevermind,Harry;it\'sallnonsense。“
“No,it\'snotallnonsense。Jesusdidlovetheyoungman。I
believethestoryitselfbeforealltheDoctorsofDivinityintheworld。Helovesallofus,hedoes——withallhisheart,too。“
“Ihopeso,“wasallshecouldreply;butshewascomfortedbyHarry\'svehementconfessionoffaith。
Euphrawassofarsoftened,orperhapsweakened,bysuffering,thatsheyieldedmanythingswhichwouldhaveseemedimpossiblebefore。
OneofthesewasthatshewenttochurchwithMrs。Elton,wherethatladyhopedshewouldgetgoodtohersoul。Harryofcoursewasnotleftbehind。Thechurchshefrequentedwasafashionableone,withavicarmorefashionablestill;forhadheleftthatchurch,morethanhalfhiscongregation,whichconsistedmostlyofladies,wouldhaveleftitalso,andfollowedhimtotheendsofLondon。Hewasamiddle-agedman,witharubicundcountenance,andagentlefamiliarityofmanner,thatwasexceedinglypleasingtothefashionablesheepwho,consciousthattheyhadwanderedfromthefold,werewaitingwithexemplarypatienceforthebarouchesandmail-phaetonsoftheskiestocarrythembackwithoutthetroubleofwalking。Alasforthem!theyhavetolearnthatthechariotsofheavenarechariotsoffire。
TheSundaymorningfollowingtheconversationIhavejustrecorded,theclergyman\'ssermonwasdevotedtotheillustrationofthegreatnessandcondescensionoftheSaviour。Afteracertainamountoftameexcitementexpendedupontheconsiderationofhispowerandkingdom,onepassagewaswoundupinthisfashion:
“Yes,myfriends,evenhermostgraciousMajesty,QueenVictoria,therulerovermillionsdiverseinspeechandinhue,towhomwealllookupwithhumblesubmission,andwhomweacknowledgeasoursovereignlady——evenshe,greatassheis,addsbyherhomageajeweltohiscrown;and,hailinghimasherLord,bowsandrendershimworship!Yetthisishewhocomesdowntovisit,yea,dwellswithhisownelect,hischosenones,whomhehasledbacktothefoldofhisgrace。“
Forsomereason,knowntohimself,FalconerhadtakenHugh,whohadgonetohimaccordingtoappointmentthatmorning,tothissamechurch。Astheycameout,Hughsaid:
“Mr——isquiteproudofthehonourdonehismasterbythequeen。“
“Idonotthink,“answeredFalconer,“thathismasterwillthinksomuchofit;forheoncehadhisfeetwashedbyawomanthatwasasinner。“
ThehomilywhichMrs。Eltonreadatprayersthatevening,boreuponthesamesubjectnominallyasthechapterthatprecededit——thatofelection;adoctrinewhichintheBibleassertsthefactofGod\'schoosingcertainpersonsforthespecificpurposeofreceivingfirst,andsocommunicatingthegiftsofhisgracetothewholeworld;butwhich,inthehomilyreferredto,wastakentomeanthechoiceofcertainpersonsforultimatesalvation,totheexclusionoftherest。Theyweresittinginsilenceaftertheclose,whenHarrystartedupsuddenly,saying:“Idon\'twantGodtoloveme,ifhedoesnotloveeverybody;“and,burstingintotears,hurriedoutoftheroom。Mrs。Eltonwasawfullyshockedathiswickedness。
Euphra,hastenedafterhim;buthewouldnotreturn,andwentsupperlesstobed。Euphra,however,carriedhimsomesupper。Hesatupinbedandateitwiththetearsinhiseyes。Shekissedhim,andbadehimgoodnight;when,justasshewasleavingtheroom,hebrokeoutwith:
“Butonlythink,Euphra,ifitshouldbetrue!Iwouldrathernothavebeenmade。“
“Itisnottrue,“saidEuphra,inwhomafaintglimmeroffaithinGodawokeforthesakeoftheboywhomsheloved——awoketocomforthim,whenitwouldnotopenitseyesforherself。“No,Harrydear,ifthereisaGodatall,heisnotlikethat。“
“No,hecan\'tbe,“saidHarry,vehemently,andwiththebrightnessofasuddenthought;“forifhewerelikethat,hewouldn\'tbeaGodworthbeing;andthatcouldn\'tbe,youknow。“
Euphrakneltbyherbedside,andprayedmorehopefullythanformanydaysbefore。SheprayedthatGodwouldletherknowthathewasnotanidolofman\'sinvention。
Tillfriendlysleepcame,anduntiedtheknotofcare,bothEuphraandHarrylaytroubledwiththingstoogreatforthem。Evenintheirsleep,thecarewouldgatheragain,andbodyitselfintodreams。ThefirstthoughtthatvisitedHarrywhenheawoke,wasthememoryofhisdream:thathediedandwenttoheaven;thatheavenwasagreatchurchjustliketheoneMrs。Eltonwentto,onlylarger;thatthepewswerefilledwithangels,socrowdedtogetherthattheyhadtotuckuptheirwingsverycloseindeed——andHarrycouldnothelpwonderingwhattheywantedthemfor;thattheywereallsingingpsalms;thatthepulpitbyalittlechangehadbeenconvertedintoathrone,onwhichsatGodtheFather,lookingverysolemnandsevere;thatJesuswasseatedinthereading-desk,lookingverysad;andthattheHolyGhostsatontheclerk\'sdesk,intheshapeofawhitedove;thatacherub,whosefaceremindedhimverymuchofapolicemanheknew,tookhimbytheshoulderfortryingtopluckasplendidgreenfeatheroutofanarchangel\'swing,andledhimuptothethrone,whereGodshookhisheadathiminsuchadreadfulway,thathewasterrified,andthenstretchedouthishandtolayholdonhim;thatheshriekedwithfear;andthatJesusputouthishandandliftedhimintothereading-desk,andhidhimdownbelow。AndthereHarrylay,feelingsosafe,strokingandkissingthefeetthathadbeenwearyandwoundedforhim,till,inthegrowingdelightofthethoughtthatheactuallyheldthosefeet,hecameawakeandremembereditall。Trulyitwasachildishdream,butnotwithoutitsownsignificance。ForsurelytheonlyrefugefromheathenishrepresentationsofGodunderChristianforms,theonlyrefugefromman\'sblindingandparalysingtheories,fromthedeadwoodenshapessubstitutedforthelivingformsofhumanloveandhopeandaspiration,fromtheinterpretationswhichrenderscriptureasdryasaspeechinChancery——surelytheonerefugefromalltheseawfulevilsistheSonofman;fornomisrepresentationandnomisconceptioncandestroythebeautyofthatfacewhichthemarringofsorrowhaselevatedintotheregionofreality,beyondthemarringofirreverentspeculationandscholasticdefinition。
>FromtheGodofman\'spainting,weturntothemanofGod\'sbeing,andheleadsustothetrueGod,theradiationofwhoseglorywefirstseeinhim。Happyisthatmanwhohasaglimpseofthis,eveninadreamsuchasHarry\'s!——adreaminotherrespectschildishandincongruous,butnotmoreabsurdthantheinstructionwhenceitsprung。
Butthetroublesreturnedwiththeday。Prayersrevivedthem。HesoughtEuphrainherroom。
“TheysayImustrepentandbesorryformysins,“saidhe。“Ihavebeentryingveryhard;butIcan\'tthinkofany,exceptoncethatI
gaveGog“(hisWelshpony)“suchabeatingbecausehewouldgowhereIdidn\'twanthim。Buthe\'sforgottenitlongago;andIgavehimtwofeedsofcornafterit,andsosomehowIcan\'tfeelverysorrynow。WhatshallIdo?——Butthat\'snotwhatImindmost。ItalwaysseemstomeitwouldbesomuchgranderofGodtosay:\'Comealong,nevermind。I\'llmakeyougood。Ican\'twaittillyouaregood;I
loveyousomuch。\'“
HisownwordsweretoomuchforHarry,andheburstintotearsatthethoughtofGodbeingsokind。Euphra,insteadoftryingtocomforthim,criedtoo。Thustheycontinuedforsometime,Harrywithhisheadonherknees,andshekindlyfondlingitwithherdistressedhands。Harrywasthefirsttorecover;forhiswastheApriltime,whenrainclearstheheavens。Allatoncehesprungtohisfeet,andexclaimed:
“Onlythink,Euphra!Whatif,afterall,IshouldfindoutthatGodisaskindasyouare!”
HowEuphra\'sheartsmoteher!
“DearHarry,“answeredshe,“GodmustbeagreatdealkinderthanI
am。Ihavenotbeenkindtoyouatall。“
“Don\'tsaythat,Euphra。IshallbequitecontentifGodisaskindasyou。“
“Oh,Harry!IhopeGodislikewhatIdreamedaboutmymotherlastnight。“
“Tellmewhatyoudreamedabouther,dearEuphra。“
“IdreamedthatIwasalittlechild——“
“Wereyoualittlegirlwhenyourmotherdied?”
“Oh,yes;suchatiny!ButIcanjustrememberher。“
“Tellmeyourdream,then。“
“IdreamedthatIwasalittlegirl,outallaloneonawildmountain-moor,trippingandstumblingonmynight-gown。Andthewindwassocold!And,somehoworother,thewindwasanenemytome,anditfollowedandcaughtme,andwhirledandtossedmeabout,andthenranawayagain。ThenIhastenedon,andthethornswentintomyfeet,andthestonescutthem。AndIheardthebloodfromthemtricklingdownthehill-sideasIwalked。“
“ThentheywouldbelikethefeetIsawinmydreamlastnight。“
“Whosefeetwerethey?”
“Jesus\'feet。“
“Tellmeaboutit。“
“Youmustfinishyoursfirst,please,Euphra。“
SoEuphrawenton:
“Igotdreadfullylame。Andthewindranafterme,andcaughtmeagain,andtookmeinhisgreatblueghostlyarms,andshookmeabout,andthendroppedmeagaintogoon。Butitwasveryhardtogoon,andIcouldn\'tstop;andtherewasnouseinstopping,forthewindwaseverywhereinamoment。ThensuddenlyIsawbeforemeagreatcataract,allinwhite,fallingflashfromaprecipice;andIthoughtwithmyself,\'Iwillgointothecataract,anditwillbeatmylifeout,andthenthewindwillnotgetmeanymore。\'SoI
hastenedtowardsit,butthewindcaughtmemanytimesbeforeIgotnearit。AtlastIreachedit,andthrewmyselfdownintothebasinithadhollowedoutoftherocks。ButasIwasfalling,somethingcaughtmegently,andheldmefast,anditwasnotthewind。I
openedmyeyes,andbehold!Iwasinmymother\'sarms,andshewasclaspingmetoherbreast;forwhatIhadtakenforacataractfallingintoagulf,wasonlymymother,withherwhitegrave-clothesfloatingallabouther,standingupinhergrave,tolookafterme。\'Itwastimeyoucamehome,mydarling,\'shesaid,andstoopeddownintohergravewithmeinherarms。Andoh!Iwassohappy;andherbosomwasnotcold,orherarmshard,andshecarriedmejustlikeababy。Andwhenshestoopeddown,thenadooropenedsomewhereinthegrave,Icouldnotfindoutwhereexactly——andinamomentafter,weweresittingtogetherinasummergrove,withthetree-topssteepedinsunshine,andwavingaboutinaquietlovingwind——oh,howdifferentfromtheonethatchasedmehome!——andweunderneathintheshadowofthetrees。AndthenI
said,\'Mother,I\'vehurtmyfeet。\'“
“Didyoucallhermotherwhenyouwerealittlegirl?”interposedHarry。
“No,“answeredEuphra。“Icalledhermamma,likeotherchildren;butinmydreamsIalwayscallhermother。“
“Andwhatdidshesay?”
“Shesaid——\'Poorchild!\'——andheldmyfeettoherbosom;andafterthat,whenIlookedatthem,thebleedingwasallgone,andIwasnotlameanymore。“
Euphra,pausedwithasigh。
“Oh,Harry!Idonotliketobelame。“
“Whatmore?”saidHarry,intentonlyonthedream。
“Oh!thenIwassohappy,thatIwokeupdirectly。“
“Whatapity!Butifitshouldcometrue?”
“Howcoulditcometrue,dearHarry?”
“Why,thisworldissometimescold,andtheroadishard——youknowwhatImean,Euphra。“
“Yes,Ido。“
“IwishIcoulddreamdreamslikethat!Howcleveryoumustbe!”
“Butyoudreamdreams,too,Harry。Tellmeyours。“
“Oh,no,Ineverdreamdreams;thedreamsdreamme,“answeredHarry,withasmile。
Thenhetoldhisdream,towhichEuphralistenedwithaninterestuninjuredbythegrotesquenessofitsfancy。Eachinterpretedtheother\'swithreverence。
Theyceasedtalking;andsatsilentforawhile。ThenHarry,puttinghisarmsroundEuphra\'sneck,andhislipsclosetoherear,whispered:
“PerhapsGodwillsaymydarlingtoyousomeday,Euphra;justasyourmotherdidinyourdream。“
Shewassilent。Harrylookedroundintoherface,andsawthatthetearswereflowingfast。
Atthatinstant,agentleknockcametothedoor。Euphracouldnotreplytoit。Itwasrepeated。Afteranothermoment\'sdelay,thedooropened,andMargaretwalkedin。