第9章

类别:其他 作者:Thackeray, William Makepeace字数:39498更新时间:18/12/20 11:16:22
Goldsmith,authorofa“HistoryofEngland,“the“VicarofWakefield,“andmanydivertingpieces。YouwerebroughtalmostaninfanttohischambersinBrickCourt,andhegaveyousomesugar- candy,forthedoctorwasalwaysgoodtochildren。ThatgentlemanwhowellnighsmotheredyoubysittingdownonyouasyoulayinachairasleepwasthelearnedMr。S。Johnson,whosehistoryof“Rasselas“youhaveneverread,mypoorsoul;andwhosetragedyof“Irene“Idon\'tbelieveanymaninthesekingdomseverperused。 ThattipsyScotchgentlemanwhousedtocometothechamberssometimes,andatwhomeverybodylaughed,wroteamoreamusingbookthananyofthescholars,yourMr。BurkeandyourMr。Johnson,andyourDoctorGoldsmith。Yourfatheroftentookhimhomeinachairtohislodgings;andhasdoneasmuchforParsonSterneinBondStreet,thefamouswit。Ofcourse,mygoodcreature,youremembertheGordonRiots,andcryingNoPoperybeforeMr。Langdale\'shouse,thePopishdistiller\'s,and,thatbonnyfireofmyLordMansfield\'sbooksinBloomsburySquare?Blessus,whataheapofilluminationsyouhaveseen!ForthegloriousvictoryovertheAmericansatBreed\'sHill;forthepeacein1814,andthebeautifulChinesebridgeinSt。James\'sPark;forthecoronationofhisMajesty,whomyourecollectasPrinceofWales,Goody,don\'tyou?Yes;andyouwentinaprocessionoflaundressestopayyourrespectstohisgoodlady,theinjuredQueenofEngland,atBrandenburgHouse;andyourememberyourmothertoldyouhowshewastakentoseetheScotchlordsexecutedattheTower。Andasforyourgrandmother,shewasbornfiveyearsafterthebattleofMalplaquet,shewas;whereherpoorfatherwaskilled,fightinglikeaboldBritonfortheQueen。 Withthehelpofa“Wade\'sChronology,“Icanmakeouteversoqueerahistoryforyou,mypooroldbody,andapedigreeasauthenticasmanyinthepeerage-books。 Peerage-booksandpedigrees?Whatdoessheknowaboutthem? Battlesandvictories,treasons,kings,andbeheadings,literarygentlemen,andthelike,whathavetheyeverbeentoher?Granny,didyoueverhearofGeneralWolfe?Yourmothermayhaveseenhimembark,andyourfathermayhavecarriedamusketunderhim。YourgrandmothermayhavecriedhuzzaforMarlboroughbutwhatisthePrinceDuketoyou,anddidyouever,somuchasheartellofhisname?HowmanyhundredorthousandofyearshadthattoadlivedwhowasinthecoalatthedefunctExhibition?——andyethewasnotabitbetterinformedthantoadssevenoreighthundredyearsyounger。 “Don\'ttalktomeyournonsenseaboutExhibitions,andPrinceDukes,andtoadsincoals,orcoalsintoads,orwhatisit?“saysgranny。 “IknowtherewasagoodQueenCharlotte,forsheleftmesnuff;anditcomfortsmeofanightwhenIlieawake。” Tomethereissomethingverytouchinginthenotionofthatlittlepinchofcomfortdoledouttogranny,andgratefullyinhaledbyherinthedarkness。Don\'tyourememberwhattraditionsthereusedtobeofchestsofplate,bulsesofdiamonds,lacesofinestimablevalue,sentoutofthecountryprivatelybytheoldQueen,toenrichcertainrelationsinM-ckl-nb-rgStr-l-tz?Notallthetreasurewent。Nonomnismoritur。Apooroldpalsiedthingatmidnightismadehappysometimesassheliftshershakingoldhandtohernose。 Glidingnoiselesslyamongthebedswhereliethepoorcreatureshuddledintheircheerlessdormitory,Ifancyanoldghostwithasnuff-boxthatdoesnotcreak。“There,Goody,takeofmyrappee。 Youwillnotsneeze,andIshallnotsay\'Godblessyou。\'ButyouwillthinkkindlyofoldQueenCharlotte,won\'tyou?Ah!Ihadamanytroubles,amanytroubles。Iwasaprisoneralmostsomuchasyouare。Ihadtoeatboiledmuttoneveryday:entrenous,I abominatedit。ButInevercomplained。Iswallowedit。Imadethebestofahardlife。Wehaveallourburdenstobear。Buthark!I hearthecock-crow,andsnuffthemorningair。”Andwiththistheroyalghostvanishesupthechimney——iftherebeachimneyinthatdismalharem,wherepooroldTwoshoesandhercompanionspasstheirnights——theirdrearynights,theirrestlessnights,theircoldlongnights,sharedinwhatglumcompanionship,illuminedbywhatafeebletaper! “DidIunderstandyou,mygoodTwoshoes,tosaythat,yourmotherwasseven-and-twentyyearsoldwhenyouwereborn,andthatshemarriedyouresteemedfatherwhensheherselfwastwenty-five? 1745,then,wasthedateofyourdearmother\'sbirth。IdaresayherfatherwasabsentintheLowCountries,withhisRoyalHighnesstheDukeofCumberland,underwhomhehadthehonorofcarryingahalberdatthefamousengagementofFontenoy——orifnotthere,hemayhavebeenatPrestonPans,underGeneralSirJohnCope,whenthewildhighlandersbrokethroughallthelawsofdisciplineandtheEnglishlines;and,beingonthespot,didheseethefamousghostwhichdidn\'tappeartoColonelGardineroftheDragoons?Mygoodcreature,isitpossibleyoudon\'trememberthatDoctorSwift,SirRobertWalpole(myLordOrford,asyoujustlysay),oldSarahMarlborough,andlittleMr。Pope,ofTwitnam,diedintheyearofyourbirth?Whatawretchedmemoryyouhave!What?haven\'ttheyalibrary,andthecommonestbooksofreferenceattheoldconventofSaintLazarus,whereyoudwell?“ “ConventofSaintLazarus,PrinceWilliam,Dr。Swift,Atossa,andMr。Pope,ofTwitnam!Whatisthegentlemantalkingabout?“saysoldGoody,witha“Ho!ho!“andalaughlikeanoldparrot——youknowtheylivetobeasoldasMethuselah,parrotsdo,andaparrotofahundrediscomparativelyyoung(ho!ho!ho!)。Yes,andlikewisecarpslivetoanimmenseoldage。SomewhichFredericktheGreatfedatSansSouciaretherenow,withgreathumpsofbluemouldontheiroldbacks;andtheycouldtellallsortsofqueerstories,iftheychosetospeak——buttheyareverysilent,carpsare——oftheirnaturepeucommunicatives。Oh!whathasbeenthylonglife,oldGoody,butadoleofbreadandwaterandaperchonacage;adrearyswimroundandroundaLetheofapond?WhatareRossbachorJenatothosemouldyones,anddotheyknowitisagrandchildofEnglandwhobringsbreadtofeedthem? No!ThoseSansSoucicarpsmaylivetobeathousandyearsoldandhavenothingtotellbutthatonedayislikeanother;andthehistoryoffriendGoodyTwoshoeshasnotmuchmorevarietythantheirs。Hardlabor,hardfare,hardbed,numbingcoldallnight,andgnawinghungermostdays。Thatisherlot。Isitlawfulinmyprayerstosay,“Thankheaven,Iamnotasoneofthese?“IfIwereeighty,wouldIliketofeelthehungeralwaysgnawing,gnawing?tohavetogetupandmakeabowwhenMr。Bumblethebeadleenteredthecommonroom?tohavetolistentoMissPrim,whocametogivemeherideasofthenextworld?IfIwereeighty,IownIshouldnotliketohavetosleepwithanothergentlemanofmyownage,gouty,abadsleeper,kickinginhisolddreams,andsnoring;tomarchdownmyvaleofyearsatwordofcommand,accommodatingmytotteringoldstepstothoseoftheotherprisonersinmydingy,hopelessoldgang;toholdoutatremblinghandforasickypittanceofgruel,andsay,“Thankyou,ma\'am,“toMissPrim,whenshehasdonereadinghersermon。John!whenGoodyTwoshoescomesnextFriday,Idesireshemaynotbedisturbedbytheologicalcontroversies。Youhaveaveryfairvoice,andIheardyouandthemaidssingingahymnverysweetlytheothernight,andwasthankfulthatourhumblehouseholdshouldbeinsuchharmony。PooroldTwoshoesissooldandtoothlessandquaky,thatshecan\'tsingabit;butdon\'tbegivingyourselfairsoverher,becauseshecan\'tsingandyoucan。Makehercomfortableatourkitchenhearth。Setthatoldkettletosingbyourhob。Warmheroldstomachwithnut-brownaleandatoastlaidinthefire。Bekindtothepooroldschool-girlofninety,whohashadleavetocomeoutforadayofChristmasholiday。ShalltherebemanymoreChristmasesforthee?Thinkoftheninetyshehasseenalready;thefour-scoreandtencold,cheerless,nippingNewYears! Ifyouwereinherplace,wouldyouliketohavearemembranceofbetterearlydays,whenyouwereyoung,andhappy,andloving,perhaps;orwouldyouprefertohavenopastonwhichyourmindcouldrest?Abouttheyear1788,Goody,wereyourcheeksrosy,andyoureyesbright,anddidsomeyoungfellowinpowderandapigtaillookinthem?Wemaygrowold,buttoussomestoriesneverareold。Onasuddentheyriseup,notdead,butliving——notforgotten,butfreshlyremembered。Theeyesgleamonusastheyusedtodo。 Thedearvoicethrillsinourhearts。Theraptureofthemeeting,theterrible,terribleparting,againandagainthetragedyisactedover。Yesterday,inthestreet,Isawapairofeyessoliketwowhichusedtobrightenatmycomingonce,thatthewholepastcamebackasIwalkedlonely,intherushoftheStrand,andIwasyoungagaininthemidstofjoysandsorrows,alikesweetandsad,alikesacredandfondlyremembered。 IfItellataleoutofschool,willanyharmcometomyoldschool- girl?Once,aladygaveherahalf-sovereign,whichwasasourceofgreatpainandanxietytoGoodyTwoshoes。Sheseweditawayinheroldstayssomewhere,thinkinghereatleastwasasafeinvestment—— (vestis——avest——aninvestment,——pardonme,thoupooroldthing,butIcannothelpthepleasantry)。Andwhatdoyouthink?AnotherpensionnaireoftheestablishmentcutthecoinoutofGoody\'sstays—— ANOLDWOMANWHOWENTUPONTWOCRUTCHES!Faugh,theoldwitch! What!Violenceamongstthesetoothless,tottering,trembling,feebleones?Robberyamongstthepenniless?DogscomingandsnatchingLazarus\'scrumbsoutofhislap?Ah,howindignantGoodywasasshetoldthestory!TothatpondatPotsdamwherethecarpsliveforhundredsofhundredsofyears,withhunchesofbluemouldontheirback,IdaresaythelittlePrinceandPrincessofPreussen-Britanniencomesometimeswithcrumbsandcakestofeedthemouldyones。ThoseeyesmayhavegoggledfrombeneaththeweedsatNapoleon\'sjack-boots:theyhaveseenFrederick\'sleanshanksreflectedintheirpool;andperhapsMonsieurdeVoltairehasfedthem——andnow,foracrumbofbiscuittheywillfight,push,hustle,rob,squabble,gobble,relapsingintotheirtranquillitywhentheignoblestruggleisover。Sanssouci,indeed!Itismightywellwriting“Sanssouci“overthegate;butwhereisthegatethroughwhichCarehasnotslipped?Sheperchesontheshouldersofthesentryinthesentry-box:shewhisperstheportersleepinginhisarm-chair:sheglidesupthestaircase,andliesdownbetweenthekingandqueenintheirbed-royal:thisverynightIdaresayshewillperchuponpooroldGoodyTwoshoes\'smeagrebolster,andwhisper,“Willthegentlemanandthoseladiesaskmeagain?No,no; theywillforgetpooroldTwoshoes。”Goody!Forshameofyourself! Donotbecynical。Donotmistrustyourfellow-creatures。What? HastheChristmasmorningdawnedupontheeninetytimes?Forfour- scoreandtenyearshasitbeenthylottototteronthisearth,hungryandobscure?Peaceandgood-willtothee,letussayatthisChristmasseason。Come,drink,eat,restawhileatourhearth,thoupooroldpilgrim!AndofthebreadwhichGod\'sbountygivesus,I pray,brotherreader,wemaynotforgettosetasideapartforthosenobleandsilentpoor,fromwhoseinnocenthandswarhastornthemeansoflabor。Enough!AsIhopeforbeefatChristmas,IvowanoteshallbesenttoSaintLazarusUnionHouse,inwhichMr。 RoundaboutrequeststhehonorofMrs。Twoshoes\'scompanyonFriday,26thDecember。 AUTOURDEMONCHAPEAU。 NeverhaveIseenamorenobletragicface。Inthecentreoftheforeheadtherewasagreatfurrowofcare,towardswhichthebrowsrosepiteously。Whatadeepsolemngriefintheeyes!Theylookedblanklyattheobjectbeforethem,butthroughit,asitwere,andintothegriefbeyond。Inmomentsofpain,haveyounotlookedatsomeindifferentobjectso?Itminglesdumblywithyourgrief,andremainsafterwardsconnectedwithitinyourmind。Itmaybesomeindifferentthing——abookwhichyouwerereadingatthetimewhenyoureceivedherfarewellletter(howwellyouremembertheparagraphafterwards——theshapeofthewords,andtheirpositiononthepage);thewordsyouwerewritingwhenyourmothercamein,andsaiditwasallover——shewasMARRIED——Emilymarried——tothatinsignificantlittlerivalatwhomyouhavelaughedahundredtimesinhercompany。Well,well;myfriendandreader,whoe\'eryoube—— oldmanoryoung,wifeormaiden——youhavehadyourgrief-pang。 Boy,youhavelainawakethefirstnightatschool,andthoughtofhome。Worsestill,man,youhavepartedfromthedearoneswithburstingheart:and,lonelyboy,recallthebolsteringanunfeelingcomradegaveyou;and,lonelyman,justtornfromyourchildren—— theirlittletokensofaffectionyetinyourpocket——pacingthedeckateveninginthemidstoftheroaringocean,youcanrememberhowyouweretoldthatsupperwasready,andhowyouwentdowntothecabinandhadbrandy-and-waterandbiscuit。Yourememberthetasteofthem。Yes;forever。YoutookthemwhilstyouandyourGriefweresittingtogether,andyourGriefclutchedyouroundthesoul。 Serpent,howyouhavewrithedroundme,andbittenme。Remorse,Remembrance,&c。,comeinthenightseason,andIfeelyougnawing,gnawing!……Itellyouthatman\'sfacewaslikeLaocoon\'s(which,bytheway,Ialwaysthinkover-rated。TherealheadisatBrussels,attheDukeDaremberg\'s,notatRome)。 Thatman!Whatman?ThatmanofwhomIsaidthathismagnificentcountenanceexhibitedthenoblesttragicwoe。HewasnotofEuropeanblood,hewashandsome,butnotofEuropeanbeauty。Hisfacewhite——notofaNorthernwhiteness;hiseyesprotrudingsomewhat,androllingintheirgrief。ThoseeyeshadseentheOrientsun,andhisbeakwastheeagle\'s。Hislipswerefull。Thebeard,curlingroundthem,wasunkemptandtawny。Thelockswereofadeep,deepcopperyred。Thehands,swartandpowerful,accustomedtotheroughgraspofthewaresinwhichhedealt,seemedunusedtotheflimsyartificesofthebath。HecamefromtheWilderness,anditssandswereonhisrobe,hischeek,histatteredsandal,andthehardyfootitcovered。 Andhisgrief——whencecamehissorrow?Iwilltellyou。Heboreitinhishand。Hehadevidentlyjustconcludedthecompactbywhichitbecamehis。Hisbusinesswasthatofapurchaserofdomesticraiment。Atearlydawnnay,atwhathourwhenthecityisalive——dowenotallhearthenasalcryof“Clo?“InParis,HabitsGalons,Marchandd\'habits,isthetwangingsignalwithwhichthewanderingmerchantmakeshispresenceknown。ItwasinParisIsawthisman。 WhereelsehaveInotseenhim?IntheRomanGhetto——attheGateofDavid,inhisfathers\'onceimperialcity。ThemanImeanwasanitinerantvenderandpurchaserofwardrobes——whatyoucallan…… Enough!Youknowhisname。 Onhisleftshoulderhunghisbag;andheheldinthathandawhitehat,whichIamsurehehadjustpurchased,andwhichwasthecauseofthegriefwhichsmotehisnoblefeatures。OfcourseIcannotparticularizethesum,buthehadgiventoomuchforthathat。Hefelthemighthavegotthethingforlessmoney。Itwasnottheamount,Iamsure;itwastheprincipleinvolved。Hehadgivenfourpence(letussay)forthatwhichthreepencewouldhavepurchased。Hehadbeendone:andamanlyshamewasuponhim,thathe,whoseenergy,acuteness,experience,pointofhonor,shouldhavemadehimthevictorinanymercantileduelinwhichheshouldengage,hadbeenovercomebyaporter\'swife,whoverylikelysoldhimtheoldhat,orbyastudentwhowastiredofit。Icanunderstandhisgrief。DoIseemtobespeakingofitinadisrespectfulorflippantway?Thenyoumistakeme。Hehadbeenoutwitted。Hehaddesired,coaxed,schemed,haggled,gotwhathewanted,andnowfoundhehadpaidtoomuchforhisbargain。Youdon\'tsupposeIwouldaskyoutolaughatthatman\'sgrief?Itisyou,clumsycynic,whoaredisposedtosneer,whilstitmaybetearsofgenuinesympathyaretricklingdownthisnoseofmine。Whatdoyoumeanbylaughing?Ifyousawawoundedsoldieronthefieldofbattle,wouldyoulaugh?Ifyousawaewerobbedofherlamb,wouldyoulaugh,youbrute?Itisyouwhoarethecynic,andhavenofeeling:andyousneerbecausethatgriefisunintelligibletoyouwhichtouchesmyfinersensibility。TheOLD-CLOTHES\'-MANhadbeendefeatedinoneofthedailybattlesofhismostinteresting,chequered,adventurouslife。 Haveyoueverfiguredtoyourselfwhatsuchalifemustbe?Thepursuitandconquestoftwopencemustbethemosteagerandfascinatingofoccupations。Wemightallengageinthatbusinessifwewould。Donotwhist-players,forexample,toil,andthink,andlosetheirtemperoversixpennypoints?Theybringstudy,naturalgenius,longforethought,memory,andcarefulhistoricalexperiencetobearupontheirfavoritelabor。Don\'ttellmethatitisthesixpennypoints,andfiveshillingstherub,whichkeepsthemforhoursovertheirpaintedpasteboard。Itisthedesiretoconquer。 Hourspassby。Nightglooms。Dawn,itmaybe,risesunheeded;andtheysitcallingforfreshcardsatthe“Portland,“orthe“Union,“ whilewaningcandlessplutterinthesockets,andlanguidwaiterssnoozeintheante-room。Solrises。Joneshaslostfourpounds: Brownhaswontwo;Robinsonlurksawaytohisfamilyhouseand(mayhapindignant)Mrs。R。Hoursofevening,night,morning,havepassedawaywhilsttheyhavebeenwagingthissixpennybattle。WhatisthelossoffourpoundstoJones,thegainoftwotoBrown?B。 is,perhaps,sorichthattwopoundsmoreorlessareasnaughttohim;J。issohopelesslyinvolvedthattowinfourpoundscannotbenefithiscreditors,oralterhiscondition;buttheyplayforthatstake:theyputforwardtheirbestenergies:theyruff,finesse(whatarethetechnicalwords,andhowdoIknow?)Itisbutasixpennygameifyoulike;buttheywanttowinit。Soasregardsmyfriendyonderwiththehat。Hestakeshismoney:hewishestowinthegame,notthehatmerely。Iamnotpreparedtosaythatheisnotinspiredbyanobleambition。Caesarwishedtobefirstinavillage。Iffirstofahundredyokels,whynotfirstoftwo?Andmyfriendtheold-clothes\'-manwishestowinhisgame,aswellastoturnhislittlesixpence。 Supposeinthegameoflife——anditisbutatwopennygameafterall——youareequallyeagerofwinning。Shallyoubeashamedofyourambition,orgloryinit?Therearegames,too,whicharebecomingtoparticularperiodsoflife。Irememberinthedaysofouryouth,whenmyfriendArthurBowlerwasaneminentcricketer。Slim,swift,strong,well-built,hepresentedagoodlyappearanceonthegroundinhisflanneluniform。Militastinonsinegloria,Bowlermyboy! Hush!Wetellnotales。Mumistheword。YondercomesChancyhisson。NowChancyhissonhastakenthefieldandisfamousamongtheelevenofhisschool。Bowlersenior,withhiscapaciouswaistcoat,&c。,waddlingafteraball,wouldpresentanabsurdobject,whereasitdoestheeyesgoodtoseeBowlerjuniorscouringtheplain——ayoungexemplarofjoyfulhealth,vigor,activity。Theoldboywiselycontentshimselfwithamusementsmorebecominghisageandwaist;takeshissoberride;visitshisfarmsoberly——busieshimselfabouthispigs,hisploughing,hispeaches,orwhatnot!Verysmallroutinieramusementsinteresthim;and(thankgoodness!)natureprovidesverykindlyforkindly-disposedfogies。Werelishthosethingswhichwescornedinourlustyyouth。Iseetheyoungfolksofaneveningkindlingandglowingovertheirdeliciousnovels。I lookupandwatchtheeagereyeflashingdownthepage,being,formypart,perfectlycontentedwithmytwaddlingoldvolumeof“Howel\'sLetters,“ortheGentleman\'sMagazine。IamactuallyarrivedatsuchacalmframeofmindthatIlikebatter-pudding。I nevershouldhavebelieveditpossible;butitisso。Yetalittlewhile,andImayrelishwater-gruel。Itwillbetheageofmonlaitdepouleetmonbonnetdenuit。Andthen——thecottonextinguisherispulledovertheoldnoddle,andthelittleflameoflifeispoppedout。 Don\'tyouknowelderlypeoplewhomakelearnednotesinArmyLists,Peerages,andthelike?Thisisthebatter-pudding,water-gruelofoldage。Theworn-outolddigestiondoesnotcareforstrongerfood。Formerlyitcouldswallowtwelve-hours\'toughreading,anddigestanencyclopaedia。 IfIhadchildrentoeducate,Iwould,attenortwelveyearsofage,haveaprofessor,orprofessoress,ofwhistforthem,andcausethemtobewellgroundedinthatgreatandusefulgame。Youcannotlearnitwellwhenyouareold,anymorethanyoucanlearndancingorbilliards。Inourhouseathomeweyoungstersdidnotplaywhistbecauseweweredearobedientchildren,andtheelderssaidplayingatcardswas“awasteoftime。”Awasteoftime,mygoodpeople! Allons!Whatdoelderlyhome-keepingpeopledoofanightafterdinner?Darbygetshisnewspaper;mydearJoanherMissionaryMagazineorhervolumeofCumming\'sSermons——anddon\'tyouknowwhatensues?OverthearmofDarby\'sarm-chairthepaperflutterstothegroundunheeded,andheperformsthetrumpetobligatoquevoussavezonhisoldnose。MydearoldJoan\'sheadnodsoverhersermon(awakeningthoughthedoctrinemaybe)。Ding,ding,ding:canthatbeteno\'clock?Itistimetosendtheservantstobed,mydear—— andtobedmasterandmistressgotoo。Buttheyhavenotwastedtheirtimeplayingatcards。Oh,no!IbelongtoaClubwherethereiswhistofanight,andnotalittleamusingisittohearBrownspeakofThompson\'splay,andviceversa。Butthereisoneman——Greatorexletuscallhim——whoistheacknowledgedcaptainandprimusofallthewhist-players。Weallsecretlyadmirehim。I,formypart,watchhiminprivatelife,hearkentowhathesays,notewhatheordersfordinner,andhavethatfeelingofaweforhimthatIusedtohaveasaboyforthecockoftheschool。Notplayatwhist?“Quelletristevieillessevousvouspreparez!“werethewordsofthegreatandgoodBishopofAutun。Ican\'t。Itistoolatenow。Toolate!toolate!Ah!humiliatingconfession!Thatjoymighthavebeenclutched,butthelife-streamhassweptusbyit——theswiftlife-streamrushingtothenearingsea。Toolate!toolate!Twentystonemyboy!whenyoureadinthepapers“Valseadeuxtemps,“andallthefashionabledancestaughttoadultsby“MissLightfoots,“don\'tyoufeelthatyouwouldliketogoinandlearn? Ah,itistoolate!Youhavepassedthechoreas,MasterTwentystone,andtheyoungpeoplearedancingwithoutyou。 Idon\'tbelievemuchofwhatmyLordByronthepoetsays;butwhenhewrote,“Soforagoodoldgentlemanlyvice,IthinkIshallputupwithavarice,“Ithinkhislordshipmeantwhathewrote,andifhepractisedwhathepreached,shallnotquarrelwithhim。Asanoccupationindecliningyears,IdeclareIthinksavingisuseful,amusing,andnotunbecoming。Itmustbeaperpetualamusement。Itisagamethatcanbeplayedbyday,bynight,athomeandabroad,andatwhichyoumustwininthelongrun。Iamtiredandwantacab。Thefaretomyhouse,say,istwoshillings。Thecabmanwillnaturallywanthalfacrown。Ipulloutmybook。Ishowhimthedistanceisexactlythreemilesandfifteenhundredandninetyyards。Iofferhimmycard——mywinningcard。Asheretireswiththetwoshillings,blaspheminginwardly,everycurseisacomplimenttomyskill。Ihaveplayedhimandbeathim;andasixpenceismyspoilandjustreward。Thisisagame,bytheway,whichwomenplayfarmorecleverlythanwedo。Butwhataninterestitimpartstolife!DuringthewholedrivehomeIknowIshallhavemygameatthejourney\'send;amsureofmyhand,andshallbeatmyadversary。 OrIcanplayinanotherway。Iwon\'thaveacabatall,Iwillwaitfortheomnibus:Iwillbeoneofthedampfourteeninthatsteamingvehicle。Iwillwaitaboutintherainforanhour,and\'busafter\'busshallpass,butIwillnotbebeat。IWILLhaveaplace,andgetitatlength,withmybootswetthrough,andanumbrelladrippingbetweenmylegs。Ihavearheumatism,acold,asorethroat,asulkyevening,——adoctor\'sbillto-morrowperhaps? Yes,butIhavewonmygame,andamgainerofashillingonthisrubber。 Ifyouplaythisgameallthroughlifeitiswonderfulwhatdailyinterestithas,andamusingoccupation。Forinstance,mywifegoestosleepafterdinneroverhervolumeofsermons。Assoonasthedearsoulissoundasleep,Iadvancesoftlyandpuffouthercandle。 Herpuredreamswillbeallthehappierwithoutthatlight;and,sayshesleepsanhour,thereisapennygained。 Asforclothes,parbleu!thereisnotmuchmoneytobesavedinclothes,forthefactis,asamanadvancesinlife——ashebecomesanAncientBriton(markthepleasantry)——hegoeswithoutclothes。 Whenmytailorproposessomethinginthewayofachangeofraiment,Ilaughinhisface。Mybluecoatandbrassbuttonswilllastthesetenyears。Itisseedy?Whatthen?Idon\'twanttocharmanybodyinparticular。Yousaythatmyclothesareshabby?WhatdoIcare? WhenIwishedtolookwellinsomebody\'seyes,themattermayhavebeendifferent。Butnow,whenIreceivemybillof10L。(letussay)attheyear\'send,andcontrastitwitholdtailors\' reckonings,IfeelthatIhaveplayedthegamewithmastertailor,andbeathim;andmyoldclothesareatokenofthevictory。 Idonotliketogiveservantsboard-wages,thoughtheyarecheaperthanhouseholdbills:butIknowtheysaveoutofboard-wages,andsobeatme。Thisshowsthatitisnotthemoneybutthegamewhichinterestsme。Soaboutwine。Ihaveitgoodanddear。Iwilltroubleyoutotellmewheretogetitgoodandcheap。YoumayaswellgivemetheaddressofashopwhereIcanbuymeatforfourpenceapound,orsovereignsforfifteenshillingsapiece。Atthegameofauctions,docks,shywine-merchants,dependonitthereisnowinning;andIwouldassoonthinkofbuyingjewelleryatanauctioninFleetStreetasofpurchasingwinefromoneofyourdreadfulneedywine-agentssuchasinfesteveryman\'sdoor。Grudgemyselfgoodwine?Assoongrudgemyhorsecorn。Merci!thatwouldbeaverylosinggameindeed,andyourhumbleservanthasnorelishforsuch。 Butintheverypursuitofsavingtheremustbeahundredharmlessdelightsandpleasureswhichwewhoarecarelessnecessarilyforego。 Whatdoyouknowaboutthenaturalhistoryofyourhousehold?Uponyourhonorandconscience,doyouknowthepriceofapoundofbutter?Canyousaywhatsugarcosts,andhowmuchyourfamilyconsumesandoughttoconsume?Howmuchlarddoyouuseinyourhouse?AsIthinkonthesesubjectsIownIhangdowntheheadofshame。Isupposeforamomentthatyou,whoarereadingthis,areamiddle-agedgentleman,andpaterfamilias。Canyouanswertheabovequestions?Youknow,sir,youcannot。Nowturnround,laydownthebook,andsuddenlyaskMrs。JonesandyourdaughtersifTHEYcananswer?Theycannot。Theylookatoneanother。Theypretendtheycananswer。Theycantellyoutheplotandprincipalcharactersofthelastnovel。Someofthemknowsomethingabouthistory,geology,andsoforth。Butofthenaturalhistoryofhome——Nichts,andforshameonyouall!Honnissoyez!Forshameonyou?forshameonus! IntheearlymorningIhearasortofcallorjodelundermywindow: andknow\'tisthematutinalmilkmanleavinghiscanatmygate。O householdgods!haveIlivedalltheseyearsanddon\'tknowthepriceorthequantityofthemilkwhichisdeliveredinthatcan? Whydon\'tIknow?AsIlive,ifIlivetillto-morrowmorning,assoonasIhearthecallofLactantius,Iwilldashoutuponhim。 Howmanycows?Howmuchmilk,onanaverage,alltheyearround? Whatrent?Whatcostoffoodanddairyservants?Whatlossofanimals,andaveragecostofpurchase?IfIinterestedmyselfproperlyaboutmypint(orhogshead,whateveritbe)ofmilk,allthisknowledgewouldensue;allthisadditionalinterestinlife。 Whatisthistalkofmyfriend,Mr。Lewes,aboutobjectsattheseaside,andsoforth?*Objectsattheseaside?Objectsatthearea-bell:objectsbeforemynose:objectswhichthebutcherbringsmeinhistray:whichthecookdressesandputsdownbeforeme,andoverwhichIsaygrace!Mydailylifeissurroundedwithobjectswhichoughttointerestme。ThepuddingIeat(orrefuse,thatisneitherherenorthere;and,betweenourselves,whatIhavesaidaboutbatter-puddingmaybetakencumgrano——wearenotcometothatyet,exceptforthesakeofargumentorillustration)——thepudding,Isay,onmyplate,theeggsthatmadeit,thefirethatcookedit,thetableclothonwhichitislaid,andsoforth——areeachandalloftheseobjectsaknowledgeofwhichImayacquire——aknowledgeofthecostandproductionofwhichImightadvantageouslylearn?TothemanwhoDOESknowthesethings,Isaytheinterestoflifeisprodigiouslyincreased。Themilkmanbecomes,astudytohim;thebakerabeinghecuriouslyandtenderlyexamines。Go,Lewes,andclapahideoussea-anemoneintoaglass:Iwillputacabmanundermine,andmakeavivisectionofabutcher。OLares,Penates,andgentlehouseholdgods,teachmetosympathizewithallthatcomeswithinmydoors!Givemeaninterestinthebutcher\'sbook。Letmelookforwardtotheensuingnumberofthegrocer\'saccountwitheagerness。Itseemsungratefultomykitchen-chimneynottoknowthecostofsweepingit;andItrustthatmanyamanwhoreadsthis,andmusesonit,willfeel,likethewriter,ashamedofhimself,andhangdownhisheadhumbly。 *“SeasideStudies。”ByG。H。Lewes。 Now,iftothishouseholdgameyoucouldaddalittlemoneyinterest,theamusementwouldbeincreasedfarbeyondthemeremoneyvalue,asagameatcardsforsixpenceisbetterthanarubberfornothing。 Ifyoucaninterestyourselfaboutsixpence,alllifeisinvestedwithanewexcitement。Fromsunrisetosleepingyoucanalwaysbeplayingthatgame——withbutcher,baker,coal-merchant,cabman,omnibusman——nay,diamondmerchantandstockbroker。Youcanbargainforaguineaoverthepriceofadiamondnecklace,orforasixteenthpercentinatransactionattheStockExchange。Weallknowmenwhohavethisfacultywhoarenotungenerouswiththeirmoney。Theygiveitongreatoccasions。TheyaremoreabletohelpthanyouandIwhospendours,andsaytopoorProdigalwhocomestousoutatelbow,“Mydearfellow,Ishouldhavebeendelighted:butIhavealreadyanticipatedmyquarter,andamgoingtoaskScrewbyifhecandoanythingforme。” Inthisdelightful,wholesome,ever-noveltwopennygame,thereisadangerofexcess,asthereisineveryotherpastimeoroccupationoflife。Ifyougrowtooeagerforyourtwopence,theacquisitionorthelossofitmayaffectyourpeaceofmind,andpeaceofmindisbetterthananyamountoftwopences。Myfriend,theold- clothes\'-man,whoseagoniesoverthehathaveledtothisramblingdisquisition,has,Iverymuchfear,byatooeagerpursuitofsmallprofits,disturbedtheequanimityofamindthatoughttobeeasyandhappy。“HadIstoodout,“hethinks,“Imighthavehadthehatforthreepence,“andhedoubtswhether,havinggivenfourpenceforit,hewillevergetbackhismoney。MygoodShadrach,ifyougothroughlifepassionatelydeploringtheirrevocable,andallowyesterday\'stransactionstoembitterthecheerfulnessofto-dayandto-morrow——asliefwalkdowntotheSeine,sousein,hats,body,clothes-bagandall,andputanendtoyoursorrowandsordidcares。 BeforeandsinceMr。FranklinwrotehisprettyapologueoftheWhistlehavewenotallmadebargainsofwhichwerepented,andcovetedandacquiredobjectsforwhichwehavepaidtoodearly!Whohasnotpurchasedhishatinsomemarketorother?ThereisGeneralM\'Clellan\'scockedhatforexample:Idaresayhewaseagerenoughtowearit,andhehaslearnedthatitisbynomeanscheerfulwear。 TherewerethemilitarybeaversofMesseigneursofOrleans:*theyworethemgallantlyinthefaceofbattle;butIsuspecttheyweregladenoughtopitchthemintotheJamesRiverandcomehomeinmufti。Ah,mesamis!Achacunsonschakot!Iwaslookingatabishoptheotherday,andthinking,“Myrightreverendlord,thatbroad-brimandrosettemustbindyourgreatbroadforeheadverytightly,andgiveyoumanyaheadache。Agoodeasywideawakewerebetterforyou,andIwouldliketoseethathonestfacewithacutty-pipeinthemiddleofit。”ThereismyLordMayor。Myoncedearlord,mykindfriend,whenyourtwoyears\'reignwasover,didnotyoujumpforjoyandflingyourchapeau-brasoutofwindow:andhasn\'tthathatcostyouaprettybitofmoney?There,inasplendidtravellingchariot,inthesweetestbonnet,alltrimmedwithorange-blossomsandChantillylace,sitsmyLadyRosa,witholdLordSnowdenbyherside。Ah,Rosa!whatapricehaveyoupaidforthathatwhichyouwear;andisyourladyship\'scoronetnotpurchasedtoodear!Enoughofhats。Sir,orMadam,Itakeoffmine,andsaluteyouwithprofoundrespect。 *TwocadetsoftheHouseofOrleanswhoservedasVolunteersunderGeneralM\'ClellaninhiscampaignagainstRichmond。 ONALEXANDRINES。* ALETTERTOSOMECOUNTRYCOUSINS。 *Thispaper,itisalmostneedlesstosay,waswrittenjustafterthemarriageofthePrinceandPrincessofWalesinMarch,1863。 DEARCOUSINS,——BepleasedtoreceiveherewithapacketofMayall\'sphotographsandcopiesofIllustratedNews,IllustratedTimes,LondonReview,Queen,andObserver,eachcontaininganaccountofthenotablefestivitiesofthepastweek。If,besidestheseremembrancesofhome,youhaveamindtoreadaletterfromanoldfriend,beholdhereitis。WhenIwasatschool,havingleftmyparentsinIndia,agood-naturedcaptainorcolonelwouldcomesometimesandseeusIndianboys,andtalktousaboutpapaandmamma,andgiveuscoinsoftherealm,andwritetoourparents,andsay,“IdroveoveryesterdayandsawTommyatDr。Birch\'s。Itookhimtothe\'George,\'andgavehimadinner。Hisappetiteisfine。 Hestatesthatheisreading\'CorneliusNepos,\'withwhichheismuchinterested。Hismastersreport,“&c。AndthoughDr。Birchwrotebythesamemailalonger,fuller,andofficialstatement,I havenodoubtthedistantparentspreferredthefriend\'sletter,withitsartless,possiblyungrammatical,accountoftheirlittledarling。 IhaveseentheyoungheirofBritain。Theseeyeshavebeheldhimandhisbride,onSaturdayinPallMall,andonTuesdayinthenaveofSt。George\'sChapelatWindsor,whentheyoungPrincessAlexandraofDenmarkpassedbywithherbloomingprocessionofbridesmaids; andhalfanhourlater,whenthePrincessofWalescameforthfromthechapel,herhusbandbyhersiderobedinthepurplemantleofthefamousOrderwhichhisforefatherestablishedherefivehundredyearsago。Weweretoseeheryetonceagain,whenheropencarriagepassedoutoftheCastlegatetothestationofthenearrailwaywhichwastoconveyhertoSouthampton。 Sincewomankindexisted,hasanywomaneverhadsuchagreeting?Attenhours\'distance,thereisacityfarmoremagnificentthanours。 WitheveryrespectforKensingtonturnpike,IownthattheArcdel\'EtoileatParisisamuchfinerentrancetoanimperialcapital。 Inourblack,orderless,zigzagstreets,wecanshownothingtocomparewiththemagnificentarrayoftheRuedeRivoli,thatenormousregimentofstonestretchingforfivemilesandpresentingarmsbeforetheTuileries。ThinkofthelateFleetPrisonandWaithman\'sObelisk,andofthePlacedelaConcordeandtheLuxorStone!“ThefinestsiteinEurope,“asTrafalgarSquarehasbeencalledbysomeobstinateBritishoptimist,isdisfiguredbytrophies,fountains,columns,andstatuessopuerile,disorderly,andhideousthataloveroftheartsmusthangtheheadofshameashepasses,toseeourdearoldqueencityarrayingherselfsoabsurdly;butwhenallissaidanddone,wecanshowoneortwoofthegreatestsightsintheworld。IdoubtifanyRomanfestivalwasasvastorstrikingastheDerbyday,orifanyImperialtriumphcouldshowsuchaprodigiousmusteroffaithfulpeopleasouryoungPrincesssawonSaturday,whenthenationturnedouttogreether。 Thecalculatorsaresquabblingaboutthenumbersofhundredsofthousands,ofmillions,whocameforthtoseeherandbidherwelcome。Imaginebeaconsflaming,rocketsblazing,yardsmanned,shipsandfortssalutingwiththeirthunder,everysteamerandvessel,everytownandvillagefromRamsgatetoGravesend,swarmingwithhappygratulation;younggirlswithflowers,scatteringrosesbeforeher;staidcitizensandaldermenpushingandsqueezingandpantingtomakethespeech,andbowtheknee,andbidherwelcome! Whoisthiswhoishonoredwithsuchaprodigioustriumph,andreceivedwithawelcomesoastonishing?Ayearagowehadneverheardofher。Ithinkaboutherpedigreeandfamilynotafewofusareinthedarkstill,andIown,formypart,tobemuchpuzzledbytheallusionsofnewspapergenealogistsandbardsandskaldstoVikings,Berserkers,andsoforth。ButitwouldbeinterestingtoknowhowmanyhundredsofthousandsofphotographsofthefairbrightfacehavebythistimemadeitbelovedandfamiliarinBritishhomes。ThinkofallthequietcountrynooksfromLand\'sEndtoCaithness,wherekindeyeshaveglancedatit。Thefarmerbringsithomefrommarket;thecuratefromhisvisittotheCathedraltown;therusticfolkpeeratitinthelittlevillageshop-window; thesquire\'schildrengazeonitroundthedrawing-roomtable:everyeyethatbeholdsitlookstenderlyonitsbrightbeautyandsweetartlessgrace,andyoungandoldprayGodblessher。Wehaveanelderlyfriend,(acertainGoodyTwoshoes,)whoinhabits,withmanyotheroldladies,theUnionHouseoftheparishofSt。LazarusinSoho。Oneofyourcousinsfromthishousewenttoseeher,andfoundGoodyandhercompanioncronesallinaflutterofexcitementaboutthemarriage。Thewhitewashedwallsoftheirbleakdormitorywereornamentedwithprintsoutoftheillustratedjournals,andhungwithfestoonsandtrue-lovers\'knotsoftapeandcoloredpaper; andtheoldbodieshadhadagooddinner,andtheoldtongueswerechirpingandclackingaway,alleager,interested,sympathizing;andoneveryelderlyandrheumaticGoody,whoisobligedtokeepherbed,(andhas,Itrust,anexaggeratedideaofthecaresattendingonroyalty,)said,“Porething,porething!Ipityher。”Yes,eveninthatdimplacetherewasalittlebrightnessandaquaveringhuzza,acontributionofamitesubscribedbythosedozenpooroldwidowstothetreasureofloyaltywithwhichthenationendowsthePrince\'sbride。 Threehundredyearsago,whenourdreadSovereignLadyElizabethcametotakepossessionofherrealmandcapitalcity,Holingshed,ifyouplease(whosepleasinghistoryofcourseyoucarryaboutwithyou),relatesinhisfourthvolumefolio,that——“Athirentringthecitie,shewasofthepeoplereceivedmaruellousintierlie,asappearedbytheassemblies,praiers,welcommings,cries,andallothersigneswhicharguedawoonderfullearnestloue:“andatvarioushalting-placesontheroyalprogresschildrenhabitedlikeangelsappearedoutofallegoricedificesandspokeversestoher—— “Welcome,OQueen,asmuchasheartcanthink,Welcomeagain,asmuchastonguecantell,Welcometojoyoustonguesandheartsthatwillnotshrink。 Godtheepreserve,wepray,andwishtheeeverwell! OurnewPrincess,youmaybesure,hasalsohadherAlexandrines,andmanyminstrelshavegonebeforehersingingherpraises。Mr。 Tupper,whobeginsinverygreatforceandstrength,andwhoproposestogivehernolessthaneighthundredthousandwelcomesinthefirsttwentylinesofhisode,isnotsatisfiedwiththismostliberalamountofacclamation,butproposesattheendofhispoemastillmoremagnificentsubscription。Thuswebegin,“Ahundredthousandwelcomes,ahundredthousandwelcomes。”(Inmycopythefiguresareinthewell-knownArabicnumerals,butletushavethenumbersliterallyaccurate:)—— “Ahundredthousandwelcomes! Ahundredthousandwelcomes! Andahundredthousandmore! OhappyheartofEngland,Shoutaloudandsing,laud,Asnolandsangbefore; AndletthepaeanssoarAndringfromshoretoshore,Ahundredthousandwelcomes,Andahundredthousandmore; AndletthecannonsroarThejoy-stunnedcityo\'er。 AndletthesteepleschimeitAhundredthousandwelcomesAndahundredthousandmore; AndletthepeoplerhymeitFromneighbor\'sdoortodoor,Fromeveryman\'sheart\'score,AhundredthousandwelcomesAndahundredthousandmore。” Thiscontribution,intwentynotlonglines,of900,000(sayninehundredthousand)welcomesishandsomeindeed;andshowsthatwhenourbardisinclinedtobeliberal,hedoesnotlooktothecost。 Butwhatisasumof900,000tohisfurtherproposal?—— “Oletallthesedeclareit,Letmilesofshoutingswearit,Inalltheyearsofyore,Unparalleledbefore! Andthou,mostwelcomeWand\'rerAcrosstheNorthernWater,OurEngland\'sALEXANDRA,Ourdearadopteddaughter—— Laytothineheart,connedo\'erando\'er,Infutureyearsrememberedwell,ThemagicfervorofthisspellThatshakesthelandfromshoretoshore,Andmakesallheartsandeyesbrimo\'er; Ourhundredthousandwelcomes,Ourfiftymillionwelcomes,Andahundredmillionmore!“ Herewehave,besidesthemostliberalprevioussubscription,afurthercallonthepublicfornolessthanonehundredandfiftymilliononehundredthousandwelcomesforherRoyalHighness。Howmuchisthisperheadforallofusinthethreekingdoms?Notabovefivewelcomesapiece,andIamsuremanyofushavegivenmorethanfivehurrahstothefairyoungPrincess。 Eachmansingsaccordingtohisvoice,andgivesinproportiontohismeans。ThegunsatSheerness“fromtheiradamantinelips“ (whichhadspokeninquarrelsomeoldtimesaverydifferentlanguage,)roaredahundredthunderingwelcomestothefairDane。 ThemaidensofEnglandstrewedrosesbeforeherfeetatGravesendwhenshelanded。Mr。Tupper,withthemillionandoddwelcomes,maybecomparedtothethunderingfleet;Mr。Chorley\'ssong,tothefloweretsscatteredonherRoyalHighness\'shappyandcarpetedpath:—— “Blessingsonthatfairface! SafeontheshoreOfherhome-dwellingplace,Strangernomore。 Love,fromherhouseholdshrine,Keepsorrowfar! Mayforherhawthorntwine,Junebringsweeteglantine,Autumn,thegoldenvine,DearNorthernStar!“ HawthornforMay,eglantineforJune,andinautumnalittletassofthegoldenvineforourNorthernStar。IamsurenoonewillgrudgethePrincessthesesimpleenjoyments,andoftheproduceofthelast-namedpleasingplant,Iwonderhowmanybumpersweredrunktoherhealthonthehappydayofherbridal?AsfortheLaureate\'sverses,IwouldrespectfullylikenhisHighnesstoagiantshowingabeacontorchon“awindyheadland。”Hisflaringtorchisapine- tree,tobesure,whichnobodycanwieldbuthimself。Hewavesit: andfourtimesinthemidnightheshoutsmightily,“Alexandra!“andthePonticpineiswhirledintotheoceanandEnceladusgoeshome。 Whosemuse,whosecornemuse,soundswithsuchplaintivesweetnessfromArthur\'sSeat,whileEdinburghandMusselburghlieraptindelight,andthemermaidscomeflappinguptoLeithshoretoheartheexquisitemusic?SweeterpiperEdinaknowsnotthanAytoun,theBardoftheCavaliers,whohasgiveninhisfrankadhesiontothereigningdynasty。Whenamostbeautiful,celebratedandunfortunateprincesswhosememorytheProfessorloves——whenMary,wifeofFrancistheSecond,KingofFrance,andbyherownrightproclaimedQueenofScotlandandEngland(poorsoul!),enteredPariswithheryoungbridegroom,goodPeterRonsardwroteofher—— “Toiquiasveul\'excellencedecelleQuirendlecieldel\'Escosseenvieux,Dyhardiment,contentezvousmesyeux,Vousneverrezjamaischoseplusbelle。”* *QuotedinMignet\'s“LifeofMary。” “Vousneverrezjamaischoseplusbelle。”HereisanAlexandrinewrittenthreehundredyearsago,assimpleasbonjour。ProfessorAytounismoreornate。Afterelegantlycomplimentingthespring,andadescriptionofherRoyalHighness\'swell-knownancestorsthe“Berserkers,“heburstsforth—— “TheRoseofDenmarkcomes,theRoyalBride! OloveliestRose!ourparagonandpride—— ChoiceofthePrincewhomEnglandholdssodear—— WhathomageshallwepayToonewhohasnopeer? WhatcanthebardorwilderedminstrelsayMorethanthepeasantwhoonbendedkneeBreathesfromhisheartanearnestprayerforthee? Wordsarenotfair,ifthattheywouldexpressIsfairerstill;soloversindismayStandallabashedbeforethatlovelinessTheyworshipmost,butfindnowordstopray。 Toosweetforincense!(bravo!)Takeourlovesinstead—— Mostfreely,truly,anddevoutlygiven; Ourprayerforblessingsonthatgentlehead,ForearthlyhappinessandrestinHeaven! Mayneversorrowdimthosedove-likeeyes,ButpeaceaspureasreignedinParadise,Calmanduntaintedoncreation\'seve,Attendtheestill!Mayholyangels,“&c。 Thisisallverywell,mydearcountrycousins。Butwillyousay“Amen“tothisprayer?Iwon\'t。AssuredlyourfairPrincesswillshedmanytearsoutofthe“dovelikeeyes,“ortheheartwillbelittleworth。Isshetoknownoparting,nocare,noanxiouslonging,notenderwatchesbythesick,todeplorenofriendsandkindred,andfeelnogrief?Heavenforbid!Whenabardorwilderedminstrelwritesso,bestaccepthisownconfession,thatheislosinghishead。OnthedayofherentranceintoLondonwholookedmorebrightandhappythanthePrincess?Onthedayofthemarriage,thefairfaceworeitsmarksofcarealready,andlookedoutquitegrave,andfrightenedalmost,underthewreathsandlaceandorange-flowers。Wouldyouhavehadherfeelnotremor?A maidenonthebridegroom\'sthreshold,aPrincessleduptothestepsofathrone?Ithinkherpalloranddoubtbecameheraswellashersmiles。That,Icantellyou,wasOURvotewhosatinX compartment,letussay,inthenaveofSt。George\'sChapelatWindsor,andsawapartofoneofthebrightestceremonieseverperformedthere。 MydearcousinMary,youhaveanaccountofthedresses;andI promiseyoutherewereprincessesbesidesthebridewhomitdidtheeyesgoodtobehold。Aroundthebridesailedabevyofyoungcreaturessofair,white,andgracefulthatIthoughtofthosefairy-talebeautieswhoaresometimesprincesses,andsometimeswhiteswans。TheRoyalPrincessesandtheRoyalKnightsoftheGartersweptbyinprodigiousrobesandtrainsofpurplevelvet,thirtyshillingsayard,mydear,notofcourseincludingthelining,which,Ihavenodoubt,wasoftherichestsatin,orthatcostly“miniver“whichweusedtoreadaboutinpoorJerrold\'swritings。Theyoungprinceswerehabitedinkilts;andbythesideofthePrincessRoyaltrottedsuchalittleweesolemnHighlander! HeistheyoungheirandchiefofthefamousclanofBrandenburg。 HiseyrieisamongsttheEagles,andIpraynoharmmaybefallthedearlittlechieftain。 Theheraldsintheirtabardsweremarvelloustobehold,andanodfromRougeCroixgavemethekeenestgratification。ItriedtocatchGarter\'seye,buteitherIcouldn\'torhewouldn\'t。Inhisrobes,heislikeoneoftheThreeKingsinoldmissalilluminations。 Goldstickinwaitingisevenmoresplendid。Withhisgoldrodandrobesandtrappingsofmanycolors,helookslikearoyalenchanter,andasifhehadraisedupallthissceneofglamourbyawaveofhisglitteringwand。Thesilvertrumpeterswearsuchquaintcaps,asthoseIhavehumblytriedtodepictontheplayfulheadsofchildren。Behindthetrumpeterscameadrum-bearer,onwhosebackagold-laceddrummerdrubbedhismarch。 Whenthesilverclarionshadblown,andunderaclearchorusofwhite-robedchildrenchantingroundtheorgan,thenobleprocessionpassedintothechapel,andwashiddenfromoursightforawhile,therewassilence,orfromtheinnerchapeleversofaintahum。 Thenhymnsarose,andinthelullweknewthatprayerswerebeingsaid,andthesacredriteperformedwhichjoinedAlbertEdwardtoAlexandrahiswife。Iamsureheartyprayerswereofferedoutsidethegateaswellaswithinforthatprincelyyoungpair,andfortheirMotherandQueen。Thepeace,thefreedom,thehappiness,theorderwhichherruleguarantees,arepartofmybirthrightasanEnglishman,andIblessGodformyshare。WhereelseshallIfindsuchlibertyofaction,thought,speech,orlawswhichprotectmesowell?Herpartofhercompactwithherpeople,whatsovereigneverbetterperformed?Ifourssitsapartfromthefestivitiesoftheday,itisbecauseshesuffersfromagriefsorecentthattheloyalheartcannotmasteritasyet,andremainstreuundfesttoabelovedmemory。Apartofthemusicwhichcelebratestheday\'sservicewascomposedbythehusbandwhoisgonetotheplacewherethejustandpureoflifemeettherewardpromisedbytheFatherofallofustogoodandfaithfulservantswhohavewelldoneherebelow。Asthisonegivesinhisaccount,surelywemayrememberhowthePrincewasthefriendofallpeacefulartsandlearning;howhewastrueandfastalwaystoduty,home,honor;how,throughalifeofcomplicatedtrials,hewassagacious,righteous,activeandself- denying。Andaswetraceintheyoungfacesofhismanychildrenthefather\'sfeaturesandlikeness,whatEnglishmanwillnotpraythat,theymayhaveinheritedalsosomeofthegreatqualitieswhichwonforthePrinceConsorttheloveandrespectofourcountry? Thepaperstellushow,onthenightofthemarriageofthePrinceofWales,alloverEnglandandScotlandilluminationsweremade,thepoorandchildrenwerefeasted,andinvillageandcitythousandsofkindlyschemesweredevisedtomarkthenationalhappinessandsympathy。“ThebonfireonCoptpointatFolkestonewasseeninFrance,“theTelegraphsays,“moreclearlythaneventheFrenchmarinelightscouldbeseenatFolkestone。”Longmaythefirecontinuetoburn!ThereareEuropeancoasts(andinlandplaces) wherethelibertylighthasbeenextinguished,orissolowthatyoucan\'tseetoreadbyit——therearegreatAtlanticshoreswhereitflickersandsmokesverygloomily。Letusbethankfultothehonestguardiansofours,andforthekindskyunderwhichitburnsbrightandsteady。 ONAMEDALOFGEORGETHEFOURTH。 BeforemeliesacoinbearingtheimageandsuperscriptionofKingGeorgeIV。,andofthenominalvalueoftwo-and-sixpence。Butanofficialfriendataneighboringturnpikesaysthepieceishopelesslybad;andachemisttestedit,returningalikeunfavorableopinion。Acabman,whohadbroughtmefromaClub,leftitwiththeClubporter,appealingtothegentwhogaveitaporecabby,ateversomucho\'clockofarainynight,whichhehopedhewouldgivehimanother。Ihavetakenthatcabmanathisword。Hehasbeenprovidedwithasoundcoin。Thebadpieceisonthetablebeforeme,andshallhaveaholedrilledthroughit,assoonasthisessayiswritten,byaloyalsubjectwhodoesnotdesiretodefacetheSovereign\'simage,buttoprotestagainsttherascalwhohastakenhisnameinvain。Fid。Def。indeed!Isthiswhatyoucalldefendingthefaith?YoudaretoforgeyourSovereign\'sname,andpassyourscoundrelpewterashissilver?Iwonderwhoyouare,wretchandmostconsummatetrickster?ThisforgeryissocompletethatevennowIamdeceivedbyit——Ican\'tseethedifferencebetweenthebaseandsterlingmetal。Perhapsthispieceisalittlelighter;——Idon\'tknow。Alittlesofter:——isit?Ihavenotbittenit,notbeingaconnoisseurinthetastingofpewterorsilver。I takethewordofthreehonestmen,thoughitgoesagainstme:andthoughIhavegiventwo-and-sixpenceworthofhonestconsiderationforthecounter,Ishallnotattempttoimplicateanybodyelseinmymisfortune,ortransfermyill-lucktoadeludedneighbor。 Isaytheimitationissocuriouslysuccessful,thestamping,millingoftheedges,lettering,andsoforth,aresoneat,thatevennow,whenmyeyesareopen,Icannotseethecheat。Howdidthoseexperts,thecabman,andpikeman,andtradesman,cometofinditout?HowdotheyhappentobemorefamiliarwithpewterandsilverthanIam?Yousee,IputoutofthequestionanotherpointwhichImightarguewithoutfearofdefeat,namely,thecabman\'sstatementthatIgavehimthisbadpieceofmoney。SupposeeverycabmanwhotookmeashillingfareweretodriveawayandreturnpresentlywithabadcoinandanassertionthatIhadgivenittohim!Thiswouldbeabsurdandmischievous;anencouragementofviceamongstmenwhoalreadyaresubjecttotemptations。Beinghomo,I thinkifIwereacabmanmyself,Imightsometimesstretchafurlongortwoinmycalculationofdistance。Butdon\'tcomeTWICE,myman,andtellmeIhavegivenyouabadhalf-crown。No,no!Ihavepaidoncelikeagentleman,andonceisenough。Forinstance,duringtheExhibitiontimeIwasstoppedbyanoldcountry-womaninblack,withahugeumbrella,who,burstingintotears,saidtome,“Master,bethisthewaytoHarlow,inEssex?““ThisthewaytoHarlow?ThisisthewaytoExeter,mygoodlady,andyouwillarrivethereifyouwalkabout170milesinyourpresentdirection,“Iansweredcourteously,replyingtotheoldcreature。Thenshefella-sobbingasthoughheroldheartwouldbreak。Shehadadaughtera-dyingatHarlow。Shehadwalkedalready“viftydreemilethatday。”Tearsstoppedtherestofherdiscourse,soartless,genuine,andabundantthat——Iownthetruth——Igaveher,inIbelievegenuinesilver,apieceoftheexactsizeofthatcoinwhichformsthesubjectofthisessay。Well。Aboutamonthsince,neartotheveryspotwhereI hadmetmyoldwoman,Iwasaccostedbyapersoninblack,apersoninalargedraggledcap,apersonwithahugeumbrella,whowasbeginning,“Isay,Master,canyoutellmeifthisbethewaytoHar——“buthereshestopped。Hereyesgoggledwildly。Shestartedfromme,asMacbethturnedfromMacduff。Shewouldnotengagewithme。ItwasmyoldfriendofHarlow,inEssex。Idaresayshehasinformedmanyotherpeopleofherdaughter\'sillness,andheranxietytobeputupontherightwaytoHarlow。Notlongsinceaverygentleman-likeman,MajorDelamereletuscallhim(IlikethetitleofMajorverymuch),requestedtoseeme,namedadeadgentlemanwhohesaidhadbeenourmutualfriend,andonthestrengthofthismutualacquaintance,beggedmetocashhischequeforfivepounds! Itisthesethings,mydearsir,whichservetomakeamancynical。 IdoconscientiouslybelievethathadIcashedtheMajor\'schequetherewouldhavebeenadifficultyaboutpaymentonthepartoftherespectedbankersonwhomhedrew。Onyourhonorandconscience,doyouthinkthatoldwidowwhowaswalkingfromTunbridgeWellstoHarlowhadadaughterill,andwasanhonestwomanatall?Thedaughtercouldn\'talways,yousee,bebeingill,andhermotheronherwaytoherdearchildthroughHydePark。Inthesamewaysomehabitualsneerersmaybeinclinedtohintthatthecabman\'sstorywasaninvention——oratanyrate,choosetorideoff(sotospeak) onthedoubt。No。Myopinion,Iown,isunfavorableasregardsthewidowfromTunbridgeWells,andMajorDelamere;but,believingthecabmanwashonest,Iamgladtothinkhewasnotinjuredbythereader\'smosthumbleservant。 Whataqueer,excitinglifethisrogue\'smarchmustbe:thisattemptofthebadhalf-crownstogetintocirculation!HadmydistinguishedfriendtheMajorknockedatmanydoorsthatmorning,beforeoperatingonmine?Thesportmustbesomethingakintothepleasureoftigerorelephanthunting。Whatingenuitythesportsmanmusthaveintracinghisprey——whatdaringandcautionincominguponhim!Whatcoolnessinfacingtheangryanimal(for,afterall,amanonwhomyoudrawachequeaboutportantwillbeangry)。Whatadeliciousthrilloftriumph,ifyoucanbringhimdown!IfIhavemoneyatthebanker\'sanddrawforaportionofitoverthecounter,thatismereprose——anydoltcandothat。But,havingnobalance,sayIdriveupinacab,presentachequeatCoutts\'s,and,receivingtheamount,driveoff?Whatagloriousmorning\'ssportthathasbeen!Howsuperiorinexcitementtothecommontransactionsofevery-daylife!……Imusttellastory;itisagainstmyself,Iknow,butitWILLout,andperhapsmymindwillbetheeasier。 Morethantwentyyearsago,inanislandremarkableforitsverdure,ImetfourorfivetimesoneofthemostagreeablecompanionswithwhomIhavepassedanight。Iheardthateviltimeshadcomeuponthisgentleman;and,overtakinghiminaroadnearmyownhouseoneevening,Iaskedhimtocomehometodinner,Intwodays,hewasatmydooragain。Atbreakfast-timewasthissecondappearance。Hewasinacab(ofcoursehewasinacab,theyalwaysare,theseunfortunate,thesecourageousmen)。Todenymyselfwasabsurd。Myfriendcouldseemeovertheparlorblinds,surroundedbymyfamily,andcheerfullypartakingofthemorningmeal。Mighthehaveawordwithme?andcanyouimagineitspurport?Bythemostprovokingdelay,hisuncletheadmiralnotbeingabletocometotowntillFriday——wouldIcashhimacheque?IneednotsayitwouldbepaidonSaturdaywithoutfail。Itellyouthatmanwentawaywithmoneyinhispocket,andIregrettoaddthathisgallantrelativehasnotCOMETOTOWNYET! Layingdownthepen,andsinkingbackinmychair,here,perhaps,I fallintoafiveminutes\'reverie,andthinkofone,two,three,halfadozencasesinwhichIhavebeencontenttoacceptthatshampromissorycoininreturnforsterlingmoneyadvanced。Notareader,whateverhisage,butcouldtellalikestory。Ivowandbelievetherearemenoffifty,whowilldinewelltoday,whohavenotpaidtheirschooldebtsyet,andwhohavenottakenuptheirlong-protestedpromisestopay。Tom,Dick,Harry,myboys,Ioweyounogrudge,andratherrelishthatwincewithwhichyouwillreadthesemeeklinesandsay,“Hemeansme。”PoorJackinHades!Doyourememberacertainpecuniarytransaction,andalittlesumofmoneyyouborrowed“untilthemeetingofParliament?“Parliamentmetofteninyourlifetime:Parliamenthasmetsince:butIthinkI shouldscarcebemoresurprisedifyourghostglidedintotheroomnow,andlaiddowntheamountofourlittleaccount,thanIshouldhavebeenifyouhadpaidmeinyourlifetimewiththeactualacceptancesoftheBankofEngland。Youaskedtoborrow,butyouneverintendedtopay。IwouldassoonhavebelievedthatapromissorynoteofSirJohnFalstaff(acceptedbyMessrs。BardolphandNym,andpayableinAldgate,)wouldbeassuretofindpayment,asthatnoteofthedeparted——nay,lamented——JackThriftless。 Hewhoborrows,meaningtopay,isquiteadifferentpersonfromtheindividualheredescribed。Many——most,Ihope——tookJack\'spromiseforwhatitwasworth——andquitewellknewthatwhenhesaid,“Lendme,“hemeant“Giveme“twentypounds。“Givemechangeforthishalf-crown,“saidJack;“Iknowit\'sapewterpiece;“andyougavehimthechangeinhonestsilver,andpocketedthecounterfeitgravely。 Whataqueerconsciousnessthatmustbewhichaccompaniessuchamaninhissleeping,inhiswaking,inhiswalkthroughlife,byhisfiresidewithhischildrenroundhim!“Forwhatwearegoingtoreceive,“&c——hesaysgracebeforehisdinner。“Mydears!ShallI helpyoutosomemutton?Irobbedthebutcherofthemeat。Idon\'tintendtopayhim。Johnsonmyboy,aglassofchampagne?Verygood,isn\'tit?Nottoosweet。Forty-six。IgetitfromSo-and- so,whomIintendtocheat。”Aseaglesgoforthandbringhometotheireagletsthelamborthepavidkid,Isaytherearemenwholiveandvictualtheirnestsbyplunder。Weallknowhighwayrobbersinwhiteneck-cloths,domesticbandits,marauders,passersofbadcoin。WhatwasyonderchequewhichMajorDelamereproposedI shouldcashbutapieceofbadmoney?WhatwasJackThriftless\'spromisetopay?Havinggothisbooty,IfancyJackortheMajorreturninghome,andwifeandchildrengatheringroundabouthim。 Poorwifeandchildren!Theyrespectpapaverylikely。Theydon\'tknowheisfalsecoin。Maybethewifehasadreadfulinklingofthetruth,and,sickening,triestohideitfromthedaughtersandsons。 Maybesheisanaccomplice:herselfabrazenforgery。IfTurpinandJackSheppardweremarried,verylikelyMesdamesSheppardandTurpindidnotknow,atfirst,whattheirhusbands\'realprofessionwas,andfancied,whenthemenlefthomeinthemorning,theyonlywentawaytofollowsomeregularandhonorablebusiness。Thenasuspicionofthetruthmayhavecome:thenadreadfulrevelation; andpresentlywehavetheguiltypairrobbingtogether,orpassingforgedmoneyeachonhisownaccount。YouknowDoctorDodd?I wonderwhetherhiswifeknowsthatheisaforger,andscoundrel? Hasshehadanyoftheplunder,thinkyou,andwerethedarlingchildren\'snewdressesboughtwithit?TheDoctor\'ssermonlastSundaywascertainlycharming,andweallcried。Ah,mypoorDodd! Whilstheispreachingmostbeautifully,pocket-handkerchiefinhand,heispeeringoverthepulpitcushions,lookingoutpiteouslyforMessrs。PeachumandLockitfromthepolice-office。ByDoctorDoddyouunderstandIwouldtypifytherogueofrespectableexterior,notcommittedtogaolyet,butnotundiscovered。Weallknowoneortwosuch。Thisverysermonperhapswillbereadbysome,ormorelikely——for,dependuponit,yoursolemnhypocriticscoundrelsdon\'tcaremuchforlightliterature——morelikely,Isay,thisdiscoursewillbereadbysomeoftheirwives,whothink,“Ahmercy!doesthathorriblecynicalwretchknowhowmypoorhusbandblackedmyeye,orabstractedmamma\'ssilverteapot,orforcedmetowriteSo-and-so\'snameonthatpieceofstampedpaper,orwhatnot?“ Mygoodcreature,IamnotangrywithYOU。Ifyourhusbandhasbrokenyournose,youwillvowthathehadauthorityoveryourperson,andarighttodemolishanypartofit:ifhehasconveyedawayyourmamma\'steapot,youwillsaythatshegaveittohimatyourmarriage,anditwasveryugly,andwhatnot?ifhetakesyouraunt\'swatch,andyoulovehim,youwillcarryiterelongtothepawnbroker\'s,andperjureyourself——oh,howyouwillperjureyourself——inthewitness-box!Iknowthisisadegradingviewofwoman\'snoblenature,herexaltedmission,andsoforth,andsoforth。Iknowyouwillsaythisisbadmorality。Isit?Doyou,ordoyounot,expectyourwomankindtostickbyyouforbetterorforworse?SayIhavecommittedaforgery,andtheofficerscomeinsearchofme,ismywife,Mrs。Dodd,toshowthemintothedining- roomandsay,“Praystepin,gentlemen!Myhusbandhasjustcomehomefromchurch。ThatbillwithmyLordChesterfield\'sacceptance,Iamboundtoown,wasneverwrittenbyhislordship,andthesignatureisinthedoctor\'shandwriting?“Isay,wouldanymanofsenseorhonor,orfinefeeling,praisehiswifefortellingthetruthundersuchcircumstances?Supposeshemadeafinegrimace,andsaid,“Mostpainfulasmypositionis,mostdeeplyasIfeelformyWilliam,yettruthmustprevail,andIdeeplylamenttostatethatthebelovedpartnerofmylifeDIDcommittheflagitiousactwithwhichheischarged,andisatthispresentmomentlocatedinthetwo-pairback,upthechimney,whitheritismydutytoleadyou。”Why,evenDoddhimself,whowasoneofthegreatesthumbugswhoeverlived,wouldnothavehadthefacetosaythatheapprovedofhiswifetellingthetruthinsuchacase。WouldyouhavehadFloraMacdonaldbeckontheofficers,saying,“Thisway,gentlemen! Youwillfindtheyoungchevalierasleepinthatcavern。”Ordon\'tyoupreferhertobesplendidemendax,andreadyatallriskstosavehim?。IfeverIleadarebellion,andmywomenbetrayme,mayIbehangedbutIwillnotforgivethem:andifeverIstealateapot,andMYwomendon\'tstandupforme,passthearticleundertheirshawls,whiskdownthestreetwithit,outblusterthepoliceman,andutteranyamountoffibsbeforeMr。Beak,thosebeingsarenotwhatItakethemtobe,and——forafortune——Iwon\'tgivethemsomuchasabadhalf-crown。 Isconsciousguiltasourceofunmixedpaintothebosomwhichharborsit?Hasnotyourcriminal,onthecontrary,anexcitement,anenjoymentwithinquiteunknowntoyouandmewhoneverdidanythingwronginourlives?Thehousebreakermustsnatchafearfuljoyashewalksunchallengedbythepolicemanwithhissackfullofspoonsandtankards。Donotcracksmen,whenassembledtogether,entertainthemselveswithstoriesofgloriousoldburglarieswhichtheyorbygoneheroeshavecommitted?Butthatmyageismatureandmyhabitsformed,Ishouldreallyjustliketotryalittlecriminality。Fancypassingaforgedbilltoyourbanker;callingonafriendandsweepinghissideboardofplate,hishallofumbrellasandcoats;andthengoinghometodressfordinner,say——andtomeetabishop,ajudge,andapolicemagistrateorso,andtalkmoremorallythananymanattable!HowIshouldchuckle(asmyhost\'sspoonsclinkedsoftlyinmypocket)whilstIwasutteringsomenoblespeechaboutvirtue,duty,charity!Iwonderdowemeetgarrotersinsociety?Inanaveragetea-party,now,howmanyreturnedconvictsarethere?DoesJohnFootman,whenheaskspermissiontogoandspendtheeveningwithsomefriends,passhistimeinthuggee;waylayandstrangleanoldgentleman,ortwo;lethimselfintoyourhouse,withthehouse-keyofcourse,andappearasusualwiththeshaving-waterwhenyouringyourbellinthemorning?TheverypossibilityofsuchasuspicioninvestsJohnwithanewandromanticinterestinmymind。BehindthegravepolitenessofhiscountenanceItryandreadthelurkingtreason。Fullofthispleasingsubject,Ihavebeentalkingthief-storieswithaneighbor。 Theneighbortellsmehowsomefriendsofhersusedtokeepajewel- boxunderabedintheirroom;and,goingintotheroom,theythoughttheyheardanoiseunderthebed。Theyhadthecouragetolook。Thecookwasunderthebed——underthebedwiththejewel-box。 Ofcourseshesaidshehadcomeforpurposesconnectedwithherbusiness;butthiswasabsurd。Acookunderabedisnotthereforprofessionalpurposes。Arelationofminehadaboxcontainingdiamondsunderherbed,whichdiamondsshetoldmeweretobemine。 Mine!Oneday,atdinner-time,betweentheentreesandtheroast,acabdroveawayfrommyrelative\'shousecontainingtheboxwhereinlaythediamonds。Johnlaidthedessert,broughtthecoffee,waitedalltheevening——andoh,howfrightenedhewaswhenhecametolearnthathismistress\'sboxhadbeenconveyedoutofherownroom,anditcontaineddiamonds——“Lawblessus,diditnow?“IwonderwhetherJohn\'ssubsequentcareerhasbeenprosperous?PerhapsthegentlemenfromBowStreetwereallinthewrongwhentheyagreedinsuspectingJohnastheauthoroftherobbery。Hisnoblenaturewashurtatthesuspicion。Youconceivehewouldnotliketoremaininafamilywheretheyweremeanenoughtosuspecthimofstealingajewel-boxoutofabedroom——andtheinjuredmanandmyrelativessoonparted。 But,inclining(withmyusualcynicism)tothinkthathedidstealthevaluables,thinkofhislifeforthemonthortwowhilsthestillremainsintheservice!Heshowstheofficersoverthehouse,agreeswiththemthatthecoupmusthavebeenmadebypersonsfamiliarwithit;givesthemeveryassistance;pitieshismasterandmistresswithamanlycompassion;pointsoutwhatacruelmisfortuneitistohimselfasanhonestman,withhislivingtogetandhisfamilytoprovidefor,thatthissuspicionshouldfallonhim。 Finallyhetakesleaveofhisplace,withadeep,thoughnaturalmelancholythateverhehadacceptedit。What\'sathousandpoundstogentle-folks!Aloss,certainly,buttheywillliveaswellwithoutthediamondsaswiththem。ButtoJohnhisHhhonorwasworthmorethandiamonds,hisHhonorwas。Whoheveristogivehimbackhischaracter?Whoistopreventhanyonefromsaying,“Hoyes。Thisisthefootmanwhichwasinthefamilywherethediamondswasstole?“&c。 IwonderhasJohnprosperedinlifesubsequently?Ifheisinnocenthedoesnotinterestmeintheleast。TheinterestofthecaseliesinJohn\'sbehaviorsupposinghimtobeguilty。Imaginethesmilingface,thedailyservice,theorderlyperformanceofduty,whilstwithinJohnissufferingpangslestdiscoveryshouldovertakehim。 Everybellofthedoorwhichheisobligedtoopenmaybringapoliceofficer。Theaccomplicesmaypeach。WhatanexcitinglifeJohn\'smusthavebeenforawhile。Andnow,yearsandyearsafter,whenpursuithaslongceased,anddetectionisimpossible,doesheeverreverttothelittletransaction?Isitpossiblethosediamondscostathousandpounds?Whataroguethefencemusthavebeenwhoonlygavehimsoandso!AndIpleasinglypicturetomyselfanoldex-footmanandanancientreceiverofstolengoodsmeetingandtalkingoverthismatter,whichdatesfromtimessoearlythatherpresentMajesty\'sfairimagecouldonlyjusthavebeguntobecoinedorforged。 IchoosetotakeJohnatthetimewhenhislittlepeccadilloissuspected,perhaps,butwhenthereisnospecificchargeofrobberyagainsthim。Heisnotyetconvicted:heisnotevenonhistrial; howthencanweventuretosayheisguilty?Nowthinkwhatscoresofmenandwomenwalktheworldinalikepredicament;andwhatfalsecoinpassescurrent!Pinchbeckstrivestopassoffhishistoryassoundcoin。Heknowsitisonlybasemetal,washedoverwithathinvarnishoflearning。Poluphloisbosputshissermonsincirculation:soundingbrass,lacqueredoverwithwhitemetal,andmarkedwiththestampandimageofpiety。WhatsayyoutoDrawcansir\'sreputationasamilitarycommander?toTibbs\'spretensionstobeafinegentleman?toSapphira\'sclaimsasapoetess,orRodoessa\'sasabeauty?Hisbravery,hispiety,highbirth,genius,beauty——eachofthesedeceiverswouldpalmhisfalsehoodonus,andhaveusaccepthisforgeriesassterlingcoin。 Andwetalkhere,pleasetoobserve,ofweaknessesratherthancrimes。Someofushavemoreseriousthingstohidethanayellowcheekbehindaraddleofrouge,orawhitepollunderawigofjettycurls。Youknow,neighbor,therearenotonlyfalseteethinthisworld,butfalsetongues:andsomemakeupabustandanappearanceofstrengthwithpadding,cotton,andwhatnot?whileanotherkindofartisttriestotakeyouinbywearingunderhiswaistcoat,andperpetuallythumping,animmenseshamheart。Dearsir,mayyoursandminebefound,attherighttime,ofthepropersizeandintherightplace。 Andwhathasthistodowithhalf-crowns,goodorbad?Ah,friend! mayourcoin,battered,andclipped,anddefacedthoughitbe,beprovedtobeSterlingSilveronthedayoftheGreatAssay! “STRANGETOSAY,ONCLUBPAPER。” BeforetheDukeofYork\'scolumn,andbetweenthe“Athenaeum“and“UnitedService“Clubs,Ihaveseenmorethanonce,ontheesplanade,apreacherholdingforthtoalittlecongregationofbadaudsandstreet-boys,whomheentertainswithadiscourseonthecrimesofarapaciousaristocracy,orwarnsoftheimminentperiloftheirownsouls。Sometimesthisoratorismadeto“moveon“bybrutalpolicemen。Sometimes,onaSunday,hepointstoawhiteheadortwovisibleinthewindowsoftheClubstotherightandleftofhim,andvolunteersastatementthatthosequietandelderlySabbath-breakerswillverysoonbecalledfromthisworldtoanother,wheretheirlotwillbynomeansbesocomfortableasthatwhichthereprobatesenjoyhere,intheirarm-chairsbytheirsnugfires。 Attheendoflastmonth,hadIbeenaPallMallpreacher,IwouldhavelikedtosendawhiproundtoalltheClubsinSt。James\'s,andconvokethefewmembersremaininginLondontohearadiscoursesubDioonatextfromtheObservernewspaper。IwouldhavetakenpostunderthestatueofFame,say,whereshestandsdistributingwreathstothethreeCrimeanGuardsmen。(Thecrossing-sweeperdoesnotobstructthepath,andIsupposeisawayathisvillaonSundays。) And,whenthecongregationwasprettyquiet,Iwouldhavebegun:—— IntheObserverofthe27thSeptember,1863,inthefifthpageandthefourthcolumn,itisthuswritten:—— “ThecodicilappendedtothewillofthelateLordClyde,executedatChatham,andbearingthesignatureofClyde,F。M。,iswritten,strangetosay,onasheetofpaperBEARINGTHE\'ATHENAEUMCLUB\' MARK。” Whatthecodicilis,mydearbrethren,itisnotourbusinesstoinquire。ItconveysabenefactiontoafaithfulandattachedfriendofthegoodField-Marshal。Thegiftmaybealakhofrupees,oritmaybeahouseanditscontents——furniture,plate,andwine-cellar。 Myfriends,Iknowthewine-merchant,and,forthesakeofthelegatee,hopeheartilythatthestockislarge。 AmIwrong,dearbrethren,insupposingthatyouexpectapreachertosayaseasonablewordondeathhere?Ifyoudon\'t,Ifearyouarebutlittlefamiliarwiththehabitsofpreachers,andarebutlaxhearersofsermons。Wemightcontrastthevaultwherethewarrior\'sremainslieshroudedandcoffined,withthatinwhichhisworldlyprovisionofwineisstowedaway。SpainandPortugalandFrance——allthelandswhichsuppliedhisstore——ashardyandobedientsubaltern,asresolutecaptain,ascoloneldaringbutprudent——hehasvisitedthefieldsofall。InIndiaandChinahemarchesalwaysunconquered;orattheheadofhisdauntlessHighlandbrigadehetreadstheCrimeansnow;orheridesfromconquesttoconquestinIndiaoncemore;succoringhiscountrymeninthehouroftheirutmostneed;smitingdownthescaredmutiny,andtramplingouttheembersofrebellion;attheheadofanheroicarmy,aconsummatechief。Andnowhisgloriousoldswordissheathed,andhishonorsarewon:andhehasboughthimahouse,andstoreditwithmodestcheerforhisfriends(thegoodoldmanputwaterinhisownwine,andaglassortwosufficedhim)——beholdtheendcomes,andhislegateeinheritsthesemodestpossessionsbyvirtueofacodiciltohislordship\'swill,written,“strangetosay,uponasheetofpaper,bearingthe\'AthenaeumClub\'mark。” Itistothispartofthetext,mybrethren,thatIproposetoaddressmyselfparticularly,andiftheremarksImakeareoffensivetoanyofyou,youknowthedoorsofourmeeting-houseareopen,andyoucanwalkoutwhenyouwill。AroundusaremagnificenthallsandpalacesfrequentedbysuchamultitudeofmenasnoteventheRomanForumassembledtogether。YonderaretheMartiumandthePalladium。 NexttothePalladiumistheelegantViatorium,whichBarrygracefullystolefromRome。ByitssideisthemassiveReformatorium: andthe——theUltratoriumrearsitsgranitecolumnsbeyond。Extendingdownthestreetpalaceafterpalacerisesmagnificent,andundertheirloftyroofswarriorsandlawyers,merchantsandnobles,scholarsandseamen,thewealthy,thepoor,thebusy,theidleassemble。IntothehallsbuiltdownthislittlestreetanditsneighborhoodtheprincipalmenofallLondoncometohearorimpartthenews;andtheaffairsofthestateorofprivateindividuals,thequarrelsofempiresorofauthors,themovementsofthecourt,orthesplendidvagariesoffashion,theintriguesofstatesmenorofpersonsofanothersexyetmorewily,thelastnewsofbattlesinthegreatoccidentalcontinents,nay,thelatestbettingforthehorse-races,ortheadventofadanceratthetheatre——allthatmendoisdiscussedinthesePallMallagorae,whereweofLondondailyassemble。 Nowamongsomanytalkers,considerhowmanyfalsereportsmustflyabout:insuchmultitudesimaginehowmanydisappointedmentheremustbe;howmanychatterboxes;howmanyfeebleandcredulous(whereofImarksomespecimensinmycongregation);howmanymean,rancorous,pronetobelieveilloftheirbetters,eagertofindfault;andthen,mybrethren,fancyhowthewordsofmytextmusthavebeenreadandreceivedinPallMall!(Iperceiveseveralofthecongregationlookingmostuncomfortable。Oneoldboywithadyedmoustacheturnspurpleintheface,andstrutsbacktotheMartium:another,withashrugoftheshoulderandamurmurof“Rubbish,“slinksawayinthedirectionoftheTogatorium,andthepreachercontinues。)ThewillofField-MarshalLordClyde——signedATCHATHAM,mind,wherehislordshipdied——iswritten,STRANGETO SAY,onasheetofpaperbearingthe“AthenaeumClub“mark! Theinferenceisobvious。AmancannotgetAthenaeumpaperexceptatthe“Athenaeum。”SuchpaperisnotsoldatChatham,wherethelastcodiciltohislordship\'swillisdated。Andsothepainfulbeliefisforceduponus,thataPeer,aField-Marshal,wealthy,respected,illustrious,couldpocketpaperathisClub,andcarryitawaywithhimtothecountry。Onefanciesthehall-porterconsciousoftheoldlord\'siniquity,andholdingdownhisheadastheMarshalpassesthedoor。Whatisthatrollwhichhislordshipcarries?IsithisMarshal\'sbatongloriouslywon?No;itisarolloffoolscapconveyedfromtheClub。Whathasheonhisbreast,underhisgreatcoat?IsithisStarofIndia?No;itisabundleofenvelopes,bearingtheheadofMinerva,somesealing-wax,andahalf-scoreofpens。 LetusimaginehowinthehallofoneorotheroftheseClubsthisstrangeanecdotewillbediscussed。 “Notoriousscrew,“saysSneer。“Thepooroldfellow\'savaricehaslongbeenknown。” “SupposehewishestoimitatetheDukeofMarlborough,“saysSimper。 “HabitoflootingcontractedinIndia,youknow;ain\'tsoeasytogetover,youknow,“saysSnigger。 “WhenofficersdinedwithhiminIndia,“remarksSolemn,“itwasnotoriousthatthespoonswereallofadifferentpattern。” “Perhapsitisn\'ttrue。SupposehewrotehispaperattheClub?“ interposesJones。 “ItisdatedatChatham,mygoodman,“saysBrown。“AmanifheisinLondonsaysheisinLondon。AmanifheisinRochestersaysheisinRochester。ThismanhappenstoforgetthatheisusingtheClubpaper;andhehappenstobefoundout:manymenDON\'Thappentobefoundout。I\'veseenliteraryfellowsatClubswritingtheirrubbishingarticles;Ihavenodoubttheytakeawayreamsofpaper。 Theycribthoughts:whyshouldn\'ttheycribstationery?Oneofyourliteraryvagabondswhoiscapableofstabbingareputation,whoiscapableoftellinganymonstrousfalsehoodtosupporthisparty,issurelycapableofstealingareamofpaper。” “Well,well,wehaveallourweaknesses,“sighsRobinson。“Seenthatarticle,Thompson,intheObserveraboutLordClydeandtheClubpaper?You\'llfinditupstairs。Inthethirdcolumnofthefifthpagetowardsthebottomofthepage。Isupposehewassopoorhecouldn\'taffordtobuyaquireofpaper。Hadn\'tfourpenceintheworld。Oh,no!“ “Andtheywanttogetupatestimonialtothisman\'smemory——astatueorsomething!“criesJawkins。“AmanwhowallowsinwealthandtakespaperawayfromhisClub!Idon\'tsayheisnotbrave。 Brutalcouragemostmenhave。Idon\'tsayhewasnotagoodofficer:amanwithsuchexperienceMUSThavebeenagoodofficerunlesshewasabornfool。Buttothinkofthismanloadedwithhonors——thoughofaloworigin——solosttoself-respectasactuallytotakeawaythe\'Athenaeum\'paper!Theseparvenus,sir,betraytheirorigin——betraytheirorigin。Isaidtomywifethisverymorning,\'Mrs。Jawkins,\'Isaid,\'thereistalkofatestimonialtothisman。Iwillnotgiveoneshilling。IhavenoideaofraisingstatuestofellowswhotakeawayClubpaper。No,byGeorge,Ihavenot。Why,theywillberaisingstatuestomenwhotakeClubspoonsnext!NotonepennyofMYmoneyshalltheyhave!\'“ Andnow,ifyouplease,wewilltelltherealstorywhichhasfurnishedthisscandaltoanewspaper,thistattletoClubgossipsandloungers。TheField-Marshal,wishingtomakeafurtherprovisionforafriend,informedhislawyerwhathedesiredtodo。 Thelawyer,amemberofthe“AthenaeumClub,“therewrotethedraftofsuchacodicilashewouldadvise,andsentthepaperbytheposttoLordClydeatChatham。LordClydefindingthepaperperfectlysatisfactory,signeditandsentitback:andhencewehavethestoryof“thecodicilbearingthesignatureofClyde,F。M。,andwritten,strangetosay,uponpaperbearingthe\'AthenaeumClub\' mark。” HereIhavebeenimaginingadialoguebetweenahalf-dozengossipssuchascongregateroundaClubfireplaceofanafternoon。Iwonderhowmanypeoplebesides——whetheranychancereaderofthisverypagehasreadandbelievedthisstoryaboutthegoodoldlord?Havethecountrypaperscopiedtheanecdote,andour“owncorrespondents“ madetheirremarksonit?If,mygoodsir,ormadam,youhavereaditandcreditedit,don\'tyouowntoalittlefeelingofshameandsorrow,nowthatthetrumperylittlemysteryiscleared?To“thenewinhabitantoflight,“passedawayandoutofreachofourcensure,misrepresentation,scandal,dulness,malice,asillyfalsehoodmattersnothing。Censureandpraisearealiketohim—— “Themusicwarblingtothedeafenedear,Theincensewastedonthefuneralbier,“ thepompouseulogypronouncedoverthegravestone,ortheliethatslanderspitsonit。Faithfullythoughthisbraveoldchiefdidhisduty,honestanduprightthoughhislifewas,glorioushisrenown—— youseehecouldwriteatChathamonLondonpaper;youseemencanbefoundtopointouthow“strange“hisbehaviorwas。 Andaboutourselves?Mygoodpeople,doyoubychanceknowanymanorwomanwhohasformedunjustconclusionsregardinghisneighbor? Haveyoueverfoundyourselfwilling,nay,eagertobelieveevilofsomemanwhomyouhate?Whomyouhatebecauseheissuccessful,andyouarenot:becauseheisrich,andyouarepoor:becausehedineswithgreatmenwhodon\'tinviteyou:becausehewearsasilkgown,andyoursisstillstuff:becausehehasbeencalledintoperformtheoperationthoughyoulivedcloseby:becausehispictureshavebeenboughtandyoursreturnedhomeunsold:becausehefillshischurch,andyouarepreachingtoemptypews?Ifyourrivalprospershaveyoueverfeltatwingeofanger?Ifhiswife\'scarriagepassesyouandMrs。Tomkins,whoareinacab,don\'tyoufeelthatthosepeoplearegivingthemselvesabsurdairsofimportance?Ifheliveswithgreatpeople,areyounotsureheisasneak?Andifyoueverfeltenvytowardsanother,andifyourhearthaseverbeenblacktowardsyourbrother,ifyouhavebeenpeevishathissuccess,pleasedtohearhismeritdepreciated,andeagertobelieveallthatissaidinhisdisfavor——mygoodsir,asyouyourselfcontritelyownthatyouareunjust,jealous,uncharitable,so,youmaybesure,somemenareuncharitable,jealous,andunjustregardingYOU。 Theproofsandmanuscriptofthislittlesermonhavejustcomefromtheprinter\'s,andasIlookatthewriting,Iperceive,notwithoutasmile,thatoneortwoofthepagesbear,“strangetosay,“themarkofaClubofwhichIhavethehonortobeamember。ThoselinesquotedinaforegoingpagearefromsomenobleverseswrittenbyoneofMr。Addison\'smen,Mr。Tickell,onthedeathofCadogan,whowasamongstthemostprominent“ofMarlborough\'scaptainsandEugenio\'sfriends。”Ifyouareacquaintedwiththehistoryofthosetimes,youhavereadhowCadoganhadhisfeudsandhatredstoo,asTickell\'spatronhadhis,asCadogan\'sgreatchiefhadhis。“TheDukeofMarlborough\'scharacterhasbeensovariouslydrawn“(writesafamouscontemporaryoftheduke\'s),“thatitishardtopronounceoneithersidewithoutthesuspicionofflatteryordetraction。I shallsaynothingofhismilitaryaccomplishments,whichtheoppositereportsofhisfriendsandenemiesamongthesoldiershaverenderedproblematical。Thosemalignerswhodenyhimpersonalvalor,seemnottoconsiderthatthisaccusationischargedataventure,sincethepersonofageneralistooseldomexposed,andthatfearwhichissaidsometimestohavedisconcertedhimbeforeactionmightprobablybemoreforhisarmythanhimself。”IfSwiftcouldhintadoubtofMarlborough\'scourage,whatwonderthatanamelessscribeofourdayshouldquestionthehonorofClyde? THELASTSKETCH。 NotmanydayssinceIwenttovisitahousewhereinformeryearsI hadreceivedmanyafriendlywelcome。Wewentintotheowner\'s——anartist\'s——studio。Prints,pictures,andsketcheshungonthewallsasIhadlastseenandrememberedthem。Theimplementsofthepainter\'sartwerethere。Thelightwhichhadshoneuponsomany,manyhoursofpatientandcheerfultoil,pouredthroughthenorthernwindowuponprintandbust,layfigureandsketch,andupontheeaselbeforewhichthegood,thegentle,thebelovedLeslielabored。 Inthisroomthebusybrainhaddevised,andtheskilfulhandexecuted,Iknownothowmanyofthenobleworkswhichhavedelightedtheworldwiththeirbeautyandcharminghumor。Herethepoetcalledupintopictorialpresence,andinformedwithlife,grace,beauty,infinitefriendlymirthandwondrousnaturalnessofexpression,thepeopleofwhomhisdearbookstoldhimthestories,—— hisShakspeare,hisCervantes,hisMoliere,hisLeSage。Therewashislastworkontheeasel——abeautifulfreshsmilingshapeofTitania,suchashissweetguilelessfancyimaginedtheMidsummerNight\'squeentobe。Gracious,andpure,andbright,thesweetsmilingimageglimmersonthecanvas。Fairyelves,nodoubt,weretohavebeengroupedaroundtheirmistressinlaughingclusters。 HonestBottom\'sgrotesqueheadandformareindicatedasreposingbythesideoftheconsummatebeauty。Thedarklingforestwouldhavegrownaroundthem,withthestarsglitteringfromthemidsummersky: theflowersatthequeen\'sfeet,andtheboughsandfoliageabouther,wouldhavebeenpeopledwithgambollingspritesandfays。Theyweredwellingintheartist\'smindnodoubt,andwouldhavebeendevelopedbythatpatient,faithful,admirablegenius:butthebusybrainstoppedworking,theskilfulhandfelllifeless,theloving,honestheartceasedtobeat。Whatwasshetohavebeen——thatfairTitania——whenperfectedbythepatientskillofthepoet,whoinimaginationsawthesweetinnocentfigure,andwithtendercourtesyandcaresses,asitwere,posedandshapedandtracedthefairform? Isthererecordkeptanywhereoffanciesconceived,beautiful,unborn?Somedaywilltheyassumeforminsomeyetundevelopedlight?Ifourbadunspokenthoughtsareregisteredagainstus,andarewrittenintheawfulaccount,willnotthegoodthoughtsunspoken,theloveandtenderness,thepity,beauty,charity,whichpassthroughthebreast,andcausethehearttothrobwithsilentgood,findaremembrancetoo?Afewweeksmore,andthislovelyoffspringofthepoet\'sconceptionwouldhavebeencomplete——tocharmtheworldwithitsbeautifulmirth。Maytherenotbesomesphereunknowntouswhereitmayhaveanexistence?Theysayourwords,onceoutofourlips,gotravellinginomneoevum,reverberatingforeverandever。Ifourwords,whynotourthoughts?IftheHasBeen,whynottheMightHaveBeen? Somedayourspiritsmaybepermittedtowalkingalleriesoffanciesmorewondrousandbeautifulthananyachievedworkswhichatpresentwesee,andourmindstobeholdanddelightinmasterpieceswhichpoets\'andartists\'mindshavefatheredandconceivedonly。 WithafeelingmuchakintothatwithwhichIlookeduponthefriend\'s——theadmirableartist\'s——unfinishedwork,IcanfancymanyreadersturningtothelastpageswhichweretracedbyCharlotteBronte\'shand。Ofthemultitudethathavereadherbooks,whohasnotknownanddeploredthetragedyofherfamily,herownmostsadanduntimelyfate?Whichofherreadershasnotbecomeherfriend? Whothathasknownherbookshasnotadmiredtheartist\'snobleEnglish,theburningloveoftruth,thebravery,thesimplicity,theindignationatwrong,theeagersympathy,thepiousloveandreverence,thepassionatehonor,sotospeak,ofthewoman?Whatastoryisthatofthatfamilyofpoetsintheirsolitudeyonderonthegloomynorthernmoors!Atnineo\'clockatnight,Mrs。Gaskelltells,aftereveningprayers,whentheirguardianandrelativehadgonetobed,thethreepoetesses——thethreemaidens,Charlotte,andEmily,andAnne——Charlottebeingthe“motherlyfriendandguardiantotheothertwo“——“began,likerestlesswildanimals,topaceupanddowntheirparlor,\'makingout\'theirwonderfulstories,talkingoverplansandprojects,andthoughtsofwhatwastobetheirfuturelife。” Oneevening,atthecloseof1854,asCharlotteNichollssatwithherhusbandbythefire,listeningtothehowlingofthewindaboutthehouse,shesuddenlysaidtoherhusband,“Ifyouhadnotbeenwithme,Imusthavebeenwritingnow。”Shethenranupstairs,andbroughtdown,andreadaloud,thebeginningofanewtale。Whenshehadfinished,herhusbandremarked,“Thecriticswillaccuseyouofrepetition。”Shereplied,“Oh!Ishallalterthat。IalwaysbegintwoorthreetimesbeforeIcanpleasemyself。”Butitwasnottobe。Thetremblinglittlehandwastowritenomore。Theheartnewlyawakenedtoloveandhappiness,andthrobbingwithmaternalhope,wassoontoceasetobeat;thatintrepidoutspeakerandchampionoftruth,thateager,impetuousredresserofwrong,wastobecalledoutoftheworld\'sfightandstruggle,tolaydowntheshiningarms,andtoberemovedtoaspherewhereevenanobleindignationcorulteriusnequitlacerare,andwheretruthcomplete,andrighttriumphant,nolongerneedtowagewar。 Icanonlysayofthislady,viditantum。IsawherfirstjustasI roseoutofanillnessfromwhichIhadneverthoughttorecover。I rememberthetremblinglittleframe,thelittlehand,thegreathonesteyes。Animpetuoushonestyseemedtometocharacterizethewoman。TwiceIrecollectshetookmetotaskforwhatsheheldtobeerrorsindoctrine。OnceaboutFieldingwehadadisputation。 Shespokehermindout。Shejumpedtoorapidlytoconclusions。(I havesmiledatoneortwopassagesinthe“Biography,“inwhichmyowndispositionorbehaviorformsthesubjectoftalk。)Sheformedconclusionsthatmightbewrong,andbuiltupwholetheoriesofcharacteruponthem。NewtotheLondonworld,sheentereditwithanindependent,indomitablespiritofherown;andjudgedofcontemporaries,andespeciallyspiedoutarroganceoraffectation,withextraordinarykeennessofvision。Shewasangrywithherfavoritesiftheirconductorconversationfellbelowherideal。 OftensheseemedtometobejudgingtheLondonfolkprematurely: butperhapsthecityisratherangryatbeingjudged。IfanciedanausterelittleJoanofArcmarchinginuponus,andrebukingoureasylives,oureasymorals。Shegavemetheimpressionofbeingaverypure,andlofty,andhigh-mindedperson。Agreatandholyreverenceofrightandtruthseemedtobewithheralways。Such,inourbriefinterview,sheappearedtome。Asonethinksofthatlifesonoble,solonely——ofthatpassionfortruth——ofthosenightsandnightsofeagerstudy,swarmingfancies,invention,depression,elation,prayer;asonereadsthenecessarilyincomplete,thoughmosttouchingandadmirablehistoryoftheheartthatthrobbedinthisonelittleframe——ofthisoneamongstthemyriadsofsoulsthathavelivedanddiedonthisgreatearth——thisgreatearth?——thislittlespeckintheinfiniteuniverseofGod,——withwhatwonderdowethinkofto-day,withwhataweawaitto-morrow,whenthatwhichisnowbutdarklyseenshallbeclear!AsIreadthislittlefragmentarysketch,Ithinkoftherest。Isit?Andwhereisit? Willnottheleafbeturnedsomeday,andthestorybetold?ShallthedeviserofthetalesomewhereperfectthehistoryoflittleEMMA\'Sgriefsandtroubles?ShallTITANIAcomeforthcompletewithhersportivecourt,withtheflowersatherfeet,theforestaroundher,andallthestarsofsummerglitteringoverhead? HowwellIrememberthedelight,andwonder,andpleasurewithwhichIread“JaneEyre,“senttomebyanauthorwhosenameandsexwerethenalikeunknowntome;thestrangefascinationsofthebook;andhowwithmyownworkpressinguponme,Icouldnot,havingtakenthevolumesup,laythemdownuntiltheywerereadthrough!Hundredsofthosewho,likemyself,recognizedandadmiredthatmaster-workofagreatgenius,willlookwithamournfulinterestandregardandcuriosityuponthelastfragmentarysketchfromthenoblehandwhichwrote“JaneEyre。”