Inoneplacewecameuponalargecompanyofnakednatives，ofbothsexesandallages，amusingthemselveswiththenationalpastimeofsurf-
bathing。Eachheathenwouldpaddlethreeorfourhundredyardsouttosea，(takingashortboardwithhim)，thenfacetheshoreandwaitforaparticularlyprodigiousbillowtocomealong；attherightmomenthewouldflinghisboarduponitsfoamycrestandhimselfupontheboard，andherehewouldcomewhizzingbylikeabombshell！Itdidnotseemthatalightningexpresstraincouldshootalongatamorehair-liftingspeed。Itriedsurf-bathingonce，subsequently，butmadeafailureofit。Igottheboardplacedright，andattherightmoment，too；butmissedtheconnectionmyself——Theboardstrucktheshoreinthreequartersofasecond，withoutanycargo，andIstruckthebottomaboutthesametime，withacoupleofbarrelsofwaterinme。Nonebutnativesevermastertheartofsurf-bathingthoroughly。
Attheendofanhour，wehadmadethefourmiles，andlandedonalevelpointofland，uponwhichwasawideextentofoldruins，withmanyatallcocoanuttreegrowingamongthem。HerewastheancientCityofRefuge——avastinclosure，whosestonewallsweretwentyfeetthickatthebase，andfifteenfeethigh；anoblongsquare，athousandandfortyfeetonewayandafractionundersevenhundredtheother。Withinthisinclosure，inearlytimes，hasbeenthreerudetemples；eachtwohundredandtenfeetlongbyonehundredwide，andthirteenhigh。
Inthosedays，ifamankilledanotheranywhereontheislandtherelativeswereprivilegedtotakethemurderer\'slife；andthenachaseforlifeandlibertybegan——theoutlawedcriminalflyingthroughpathlessforestsandovermountainandplain，withhishopesfixedupontheprotectingwallsoftheCityofRefuge，andtheavengerofbloodfollowinghotlyafterhim！
Sometimestheracewaskeptuptotheverygatesofthetemple，andthepantingpairspedthroughlongfilesofexcitednatives，whowatchedthecontestwithflashingeyeanddilatednostril，encouragingthehuntedrefugeewithsharp，inspiritingejaculations，andsendinguparingingshoutofexultationwhenthesavinggatescloseduponhimandthecheatedpursuersankexhaustedatthethreshold。Butsometimestheflyingcriminalfellunderthehandoftheavengerattheverydoor，whenonemorebravestride，onemorebriefsecondoftimewouldhavebroughthisfeetuponthesacredgroundandbarredhimagainstallharm。WheredidtheseisolatedpagansgetthisideaofaCityofRefuge——thisancientOrientalcustom?
Thisoldsanctuarywassacredtoall——eventorebelsinarmsandinvadingarmies。Oncewithinitswalls，andconfessionmadetothepriestandabsolutionobtained，thewretchwithapriceuponhisheadcouldgoforthwithoutfearandwithoutdanger——hewastabu，andtoharmhimwasdeath。
Theroutedrebelsinthelostbattleforidolatryfledtothisplacetoclaimsanctuary，andmanywerethussaved。
Closetothecornerofthegreatinclosureisaroundstructureofstone，somesixoreightfeethigh，withaleveltopabouttenortwelveindiameter。Thiswastheplaceofexecution。Ahighpalisadeofcocoanutpilesshutoutthecruelscenesfromthevulgarmultitude。Herecriminalswerekilled，thefleshstrippedfromthebonesandburned，andthebonessecretedinholesinthebodyofthestructure。Ifthemanhadbeenguiltyofahighcrime，theentirecorpsewasburned。
Thewallsofthetempleareastudy。ThesamefoodforspeculationthatisofferedthevisitortothePyramidsofEgypthewillfindhere——themysteryofhowtheywereconstructedbyapeopleunacquaintedwithscienceandmechanics。Thenativeshavenoinventionoftheirownforhoistingheavyweights，theyhadnobeastsofburden，andtheyhaveneverevenshownanyknowledgeofthepropertiesofthelever。Yetsomeofthelavablocksquarriedout，broughtoverrough，brokenground，andbuiltintothiswall，sixorsevenfeetfromtheground，areofprodigioussizeandwouldweightons。Howdidtheytransportandhowraisethem?
Boththeinnerandoutersurfacesofthewallspresentasmoothfrontandareverycreditablespecimensofmasonry。Theblocksareofallmannerofshapesandsizes，butyetarefittedtogetherwiththeneatestexactness。Thegradualnarrowingofthewallfromthebaseupwardisaccuratelypreserved。
Nocementwasused，buttheedificeisfirmandcompactandiscapableofresistingstormanddecayforcenturies。Whobuiltthistemple，andhowwasitbuilt，andwhen，aremysteriesthatmayneverbeunraveled。
Outsideoftheseancientwallsliesasortofcoffin-shapedstoneelevenfeetfourincheslongandthreefeetsquareatthesmallend(itwouldweighafewthousandpounds)，whichthehighchiefwhoheldswayoverthisdistrictmanycenturiesagobroughtthitheronhisshoulderonedaytouseasalounge！Thiscircumstanceisestablishedbythemostreliabletraditions。Heusedtoliedownonit，inhisindolentway，andkeepaneyeonhissubjectsatworkforhimandseethattherewasno“soldiering“done。Andnodoubttherewasnotanydonetospeakof，becausehewasamanofthatsortofbuildthatincitestoattentiontobusinessonthepartofanemployee。
Hewasfourteenorfifteenfeethigh。Whenhestretchedhimselfatfulllengthonhislounge，hislegshungdownovertheend，andwhenhesnoredhewokethedead。Thesefactsareallattestedbyirrefragabletradition。
Ontheothersideofthetempleisamonstrousseven-tonrock，elevenfeetlong，sevenfeetwideandthreefeetthick。Itisraisedafootorafootandahalfabovetheground，andrestsuponhalfadozenlittlestonypedestals。Thesameoldfourteen-footerbroughtitdownfromthemountain，merelyforfun(hehadhisownnotionsaboutfun)，andproppeditupaswefinditnowandasothersmayfinditacenturyhence，foritwouldtakeascoreofhorsestobudgeitfromitsposition。TheysaythatfiftyorsixtyyearsagotheproudQueenKaahumanuusedtoflytothisrockforsafety，whenevershehadbeenmakingtroublewithherfiercehusband，andhideunderituntilhiswrathwasappeased。ButtheseKanakaswilllie，andthisstatementisoneoftheirablestefforts——forKaahumanuwassixfeethigh——shewasbulky——shewasbuiltlikeanox——andshecouldnomorehavesqueezedherselfunderthatrockthanshecouldhavepassedbetweenthecylindersofasugarmill。Whatcouldshegainbyit，evenifshesucceeded?Tobechasedandabusedbyasavagehusbandcouldnotbeotherwisethanhumiliatingtoherhighspirit，yetitcouldnevermakeherfeelsoflatasanhour\'sreposeunderthatrockwould。
Wewalkedamileoveraraisedmacadamizedroadofuniformwidth；aroadpavedwithflatstonesandexhibitinginitseverydetailaconsiderabledegreeofengineeringskill。Somesaythatthatwiseoldpagan，KamehamehaIplannedandbuiltit，butotherssayitwasbuiltsolongbeforehistimethattheknowledgeofwhoconstructedithaspassedoutofthetraditions。Ineithercase，however，asthehandiworkofanuntaughtanddegradedraceitisathingofpleasinginterest。Thestonesarewornandsmooth，andpushedapartinplaces，sothattheroadhastheexactappearanceofthoseancientpavedhighwaysleadingoutofRomewhichoneseesinpictures。
Theobjectofourtrampwastovisitagreatnaturalcuriosityatthebaseofthefoothills——acongealedcascadeoflava。Someoldforgottenvolcaniceruptionsentitsbroadriveroffiredownthemountainsidehere，anditpoureddowninagreattorrentfromanoverhangingbluffsomefiftyfeethightothegroundbelow。Theflamingtorrentcooledinthewindsfromthesea，andremainsthereto-day，allseamed，andfrothedandrippledapetrifiedNiagara。Itisverypicturesque，andwithalsonaturalthatonemightalmostimagineitstillflowed。Asmallerstreamtrickledoverthecliffandbuiltupanisolatedpyramidaboutthirtyfeethigh，whichhasthesemblanceofamassoflargegnarledandknottedvinesandrootsandstemsintricatelytwistedandwoventogether。
Wepassedinbehindthecascadeandthepyramid，andfoundthebluffpiercedbyseveralcavernoustunnels，whosecrookedcourseswefollowedalongdistance。
TwoofthesewindingtunnelsstandasproofofNature\'sminingabilities。
Theirfloorsarelevel，theyaresevenfeetwide，andtheirroofsaregentlyarched。Theirheightisnotuniform，however。Wepassedthroughoneahundredfeetlong，whichleadsthroughaspurofthehillandopensoutwellupinthesheerwallofaprecipicewhosefootrestsinthewavesofthesea。Itisacommodioustunnel，exceptthatthereareoccasionalplacesinitwhereonemuststooptopassunder。Theroofislava，ofcourse，andisthicklystuddedwithlittlelava-pointediciclesaninchlong，whichhardenedastheydripped。Theyprojectascloselytogetherastheironteethofacorn-sheller，andifonewillstandupstraightandwalkanydistancethere，hecangethishaircombedfreeofcharge。
CHAPTERLXXIV。
Wegotbacktotheschooneringoodtime，andthensaileddowntoKau，wherewedisembarkedandtookfinalleaveofthevessel。Nextdayweboughthorsesandbentourwayoverthesummer-cladmountain-terraces，towardthegreatvolcanoofKilauea(Ke-low-way-ah)。Wemadenearlyatwodays\'journeyofit，butthatwasonaccountoflaziness。Towardsunsetonthesecondday，wereachedanelevationofsomefourthousandfeetabovesealevel，andaswepickedourcarefulwaythroughbillowywastesoflavalonggenerationsagostrickendeadandcoldintheclimaxofitstossingfury，webegantocomeuponsignsofthenearpresenceofthevolcano——signsinthenatureofraggedfissuresthatdischargedjetsofsulphurousvaporintotheair，hotfromthemoltenoceandowninthebowelsofthemountain。
Shortlythecratercameintoview。IhaveseenVesuviussince，butitwasameretoy，achild\'svolcano，asoup-kettle，comparedtothis。
MountVesuviusisashapelyconethirty-sixhundredfeethigh；itscrateraninvertedconeonlythreehundredfeetdeep，andnotmorethanathousandfeetindiameter，ifasmuchasthat；itsfiresmeagre，modest，anddocile——Butherewasavast，perpendicular，walledcellar，ninehundredfeetdeepinsomeplaces，thirteenhundredinothers，level-
floored，andtenmilesincircumference！HerewasayawningpituponwhosefloorthearmiesofRussiacouldcamp，andhaveroomtospare。
Perchedupontheedgeofthecrater，attheoppositeendfromwherewestood，wasasmalllook-outhouse——saythreemilesaway。Itassistedus，bycomparison，tocomprehendandappreciatethegreatdepthofthebasin——itlookedlikeatinymartin-boxclingingattheeavesofacathedral。
Aftersomelittletimespentinrestingandlookingandciphering，wehurriedontothehotel。
BythepathitishalfamilefromtheVolcanoHousetothelookout-
house。Afteraheartysupperwewaiteduntilitwasthoroughlydarkandthenstartedtothecrater。Thefirstglanceinthatdirectionrevealedasceneofwildbeauty。Therewasaheavyfogoverthecrateranditwassplendidlyilluminatedbytheglarefromthefiresbelow。Theilluminationwastwomileswideandamilehigh，perhaps；andifyouever，onadarknightandatadistancebeheldthelightfromthirtyorfortyblocksofdistantbuildingsallonfireatonce，reflectedstronglyagainstover-hangingclouds，youcanformafairideaofwhatthislookedlike。
Acolossalcolumnofcloudtoweredtoagreatheightintheairimmediatelyabovethecrater，andtheouterswellofeveryoneofitsvastfoldswasdyedwitharichcrimsonluster，whichwassubduedtoapalerosetintinthedepressionsbetween。Itglowedlikeamuffledtorchandstretchedupwardtoadizzyheighttowardthezenith。I
thoughtitjustpossiblethatitslikehadnotbeenseensincethechildrenofIsraelwanderedontheirlongmarchthroughthedesertsomanycenturiesagooverapathilluminatedbythemysterious“pillaroffire。”AndIwassurethatInowhadavividconceptionofwhatthemajestic“pillaroffire“waslike，whichalmostamountedtoarevelation。
Arrivedatthelittlethatchedlookouthouse，werestedourelbowsontherailinginfrontandlookedabroadoverthewidecrateranddownoverthesheerprecipiceattheseethingfiresbeneathus。Theviewwasastartlingimprovementonmydaylightexperience。Iturnedtoseetheeffectonthebalanceofthecompanyandfoundthereddest-facedsetofmenIalmosteversaw。Inthestronglighteverycountenanceglowedlikered-hotiron，everyshoulderwassuffusedwithcrimsonandshadedrearwardintodingy，shapelessobscurity！Theplacebelowlookedliketheinfernalregionsandthesemenlikehalf-cooleddevilsjustcomeuponafurlough。
Iturnedmyeyesuponthevolcanoagain。The“cellar“wastolerablywelllightedup。Foramileandahalfinfrontofusandhalfamileoneitherside，theflooroftheabysswasmagnificentlyilluminated；beyondtheselimitsthemistshungdowntheirgauzycurtainsandcastadeceptivegloomoverallthatmadethetwinklingfiresintheremotecornersofthecraterseemcountlessleaguesremoved——madethemseemlikethecamp-firesofagreatarmyfaraway。Herewasroomfortheimaginationtowork！Youcouldimaginethoselightsthewidthofacontinentaway——andthathiddenundertheinterveningdarknesswerehills，andwindingrivers，andwearywastesofplainanddesert——andeventhenthetremendousvistastretchedon，andon，andon！——tothefiresandfarbeyond！Youcouldnotcompassit——itwastheideaofeternitymadetangible——andthelongestendofitmadevisibletothenakedeye！
Thegreaterpartofthevastfloorofthedesertunderuswasasblackasink，andapparentlysmoothandlevel；butoveramilesquareofitwasringedandstreakedandstripedwithathousandbranchingstreamsofliquidandgorgeouslybrilliantfire！ItlookedlikeacolossalrailroadmapoftheStateofMassachusettsdoneinchainlightningonamidnightsky。Imagineit——imagineacoal-blackskyshiveredintoatanglednet-
workofangryfire！
Hereandthereweregleamingholesahundredfeetindiameter，brokeninthedarkcrust，andinthemthemeltedlava——thecoloradazzlingwhitejusttingedwithyellow——wasboilingandsurgingfuriously；andfromtheseholesbranchednumberlessbrighttorrentsinmanydirections，likethespokesofawheel，andkeptatolerablystraightcourseforawhileandthensweptroundinhugerainbowcurves，ormadealongsuccessionofsharpworm-fenceangles，whichlookedpreciselylikethefiercestjaggedlightning。Thesestreamsmetotherstreams，andtheymingledwithandcrossedandrecrossedeachotherineveryconceivabledirection，likeskatetracksonapopularskatingground。Sometimesstreamstwentyorthirtyfeetwideflowedfromtheholestosomedistancewithoutdividing——andthroughtheopera-glasseswecouldseethattheyrandownsmall，steephillsandweregenuinecataractsoffire，whiteattheirsource，butsooncoolingandturningtotherichestred，grainedwithalternatelinesofblackandgold。Everynowandthenmassesofthedarkcrustbrokeawayandfloatedslowlydownthesestreamslikeraftsdownariver。
Occasionallythemoltenlavaflowingunderthesuperincumbentcrustbrokethrough——splitadazzlingstreak，fromfivehundredtoathousandfeetlong，likeasuddenflashoflightning，andthenacreafteracreofthecoldlavapartedintofragments，turnedupedgewiselikecakesoficewhenagreatriverbreaksup，plungeddownwardandwereswallowedinthecrimsoncauldron。Thenthewideexpanseofthe“thaw“maintainedaruddyglowforawhile，butshortlycooledandbecameblackandlevelagain。
Duringa“thaw，“everydismemberedcakewasmarkedbyaglitteringwhiteborderwhichwassuperblyshadedinwardbyauroraborealisrays，whichwereaflamingyellowwheretheyjoinedthewhiteborder，andfromthencetowardtheirpointstaperedintoglowingcrimson，thenintoarich，palecarmine，andfinallyintoafaintblushthathelditsownamomentandthendimmedandturnedblack。Someofthestreamspreferredtomingletogetherinatangleoffantasticcircles，andthentheylookedsomethingliketheconfusionofropesoneseesonaship\'sdeckwhenshehasjusttakeninsailanddroppedanchor——providedonecanimaginethoseropesonfire。
Throughtheglasses，thelittlefountainsscatteredaboutlookedverybeautiful。Theyboiled，andcoughed，andspluttered，anddischargedspraysofstringyredfire——ofabouttheconsistencyofmush，forinstance——fromtentofifteenfeetintotheair，alongwithashowerofbrilliantwhitesparks——aquaintandunnaturalminglingofgoutsofbloodandsnow-flakes！
Wehadcirclesandserpentsandstreaksoflightningalltwinedandwreathedandtiedtogether，withoutabreakthroughoutanareamorethanamilesquare(thatamountofgroundwascovered，thoughitwasnotstrictly“square“)，anditwaswithafeelingofplacidexultationthatwereflectedthatmanyyearshadelapsedsinceanyvisitorhadseensuchasplendiddisplay——sinceanyvisitorhadseenanythingmorethanthenowsnubbedandinsignificant“North“and“South“lakesinaction。WehadbeenreadingoldfilesofHawaiiannewspapersandthe“RecordBook“attheVolcanoHouse，andwereposted。
IcouldseetheNorthLakelyingoutontheblackfloorawayoffintheouteredgeofourpanorama，andknittedtoitbyaweb-workoflavastreams。Initsindividualcapacityitlookedverylittlemorerespectablethanaschoolhouseonfire。True，itwasaboutninehundredfeetlongandtwoorthreehundredwide，butthen，underthepresentcircumstances，itnecessarilyappearedratherinsignificant，andbesidesitwassodistantfromus。
Iforgottosaythatthenoisemadebythebubblinglavaisnotgreat，heardaswehearditfromourloftyperch。Itmakesthreedistinctsounds——arushing，ahissing，andacoughingorpuffingsound；andifyoustandonthebrinkandcloseyoureyesitisnotrickatalltoimaginethatyouaresweepingdownariveronalargelow-pressuresteamer，andthatyouhearthehissingofthesteamaboutherboilers，thepuffingfromherescape-pipesandthechurningrushofthewaterabaftherwheels。Thesmellofsulphurisstrong，butnotunpleasanttoasinner。
Weleftthelookouthouseatteno\'clockinahalfcookedcondition，becauseoftheheatfromPele\'sfurnaces，andwrappingupinblankets，forthenightwascold，wereturnedtoourHotel。
CHAPTERLXXV。
Thenextnightwasappointedforavisittothebottomofthecrater，forwedesiredtotraverseitsfloorandseethe“NorthLake“(offire)whichlaytwomilesaway，towardthefurtherwall。Afterdarkhalfadozenofussetout，withlanternsandnativeguides，andclimbeddownacrazy，thousand-footpathwayinacrevicefracturedinthecraterwall，andreachedthebottominsafety。
Theirruptionofthepreviouseveninghadspentitsforceandthefloorlookedblackandcold；butwhenweranoutuponitwefoundithotyet，tothefeet，anditwaslikewiserivenwithcreviceswhichrevealedtheunderlyingfiresgleamingvindictively。Aneighboringcauldronwasthreateningtooverflow，andthisaddedtothedubiousnessofthesituation。Sothenativeguidesrefusedtocontinuetheventure，andtheneverybodydesertedexceptastrangernamedMarlette。Hesaidhehadbeeninthecrateradozentimesindaylightandbelievedhecouldfindhiswaythroughitatnight。Hethoughtthatarunofthreehundredyardswouldcarryusoverthehottestpartofthefloorandleaveusourshoe-soles。Hispluckgavemeback-bone。Wetookonelanternandinstructedtheguidestohangtheothertotheroofofthelook-outhousetoserveasabeaconforusincasewegotlost，andthenthepartystartedbackuptheprecipiceandMarletteandImadeourrun。
Weskippedoverthehotfloorandovertheredcreviceswithbriskdispatchandreachedthecoldlavasafebutwithprettywarmfeet。Thenwetookthingsleisurelyandcomfortably，jumpingtolerablywideandprobablybottomlesschasms，andthreadingourwaythroughpicturesquelavaupheavalswithconsiderableconfidence。Whenwegotfairlyawayfromthecauldronsofboilingfire，weseemedtobeinagloomydesert，andasuffocatinglydarkone，surroundedbydimwallsthatseemedtotowertothesky。Theonlycheerfulobjectsweretheglintingstarshighoverhead。
ByandbyMarletteshouted“Stop！“Ineverstoppedquickerinmylife。
Iaskedwhatthematterwas。Hesaidwewereoutofthepath。Hesaidwemustnottrytogoontillwefounditagain，forweweresurroundedwithbedsofrottenlavathroughwhichwecouldeasilybreakandplungedownathousandfeet。Ithoughteighthundredwouldanswerforme，andwasabouttosaysowhenMarlettepartlyprovedhisstatementbyaccidentallycrushingthroughanddisappearingtohisarm-pits。
Hegotoutandwehuntedforthepathwiththelantern。Hesaidtherewasonlyonepathandthatitwasbutvaguelydefined。Wecouldnotfindit。Thelavasurfacewasallalikeinthelanternlight。Buthewasaningeniousman。Hesaiditwasnotthelanternthathadinformedhimthatwewereoutofthepath，buthisfeet。Hehadnoticedacrispgrindingoffinelava-needlesunderhisfeet，andsomeinstinctremindedhimthatinthepaththesewereallwornaway。Soheputthelanternbehindhim，andbegantosearchwithhisbootsinsteadofhiseyes。Itwasgoodsagacity。Thefirsttimehisfoottouchedasurfacethatdidnotgrindunderitheannouncedthatthetrailwasfoundagain；andafterthatwekeptupasharplisteningfortheraspingsoundanditalwayswarnedusintime。
Itwasalongtramp，butanexcitingone。WereachedtheNorthLakebetweentenandeleveno\'clock，andsatdownonahugeoverhanginglava-
shelf，tiredbutsatisfied。Thespectaclepresentedwasworthcomingdoublethedistancetosee。Underus，andstretchingawaybeforeus，wasaheavingseaofmoltenfireofseeminglylimitlessextent。Theglarefromitwassoblindingthatitwassometimebeforewecouldbeartolookuponitsteadily。
Itwaslikegazingatthesunatnoon-day，exceptthattheglarewasnotquitesowhite。Atunequaldistancesallaroundtheshoresofthelakewerenearlywhite-hotchimneysorhollowdrumsoflava，fourorfivefeethigh，andupthroughthemwereburstinggorgeousspraysoflava-goutsandgemspangles，somewhite，someredandsomegolden——aceaselessbombardment，andonethatfascinatedtheeyewithitsunapproachablesplendor。Themeredistantjets，sparklingupthroughaninterveninggossamerveilofvapor，seemedmilesaway；andthefurtherthecurvingranksoffieryfountainsreceded，themorefairy-likeandbeautifultheyappeared。
Nowandthenthesurgingbosomofthelakeunderournoseswouldcalmdownominouslyandseemtobegatheringstrengthforanenterprise；andthenallofasuddenareddomeoflavaofthebulkofanordinarydwellingwouldheaveitselfaloftlikeanescapingballoon，thenburstasunder，andoutofitsheartwouldflitapale-greenfilmofvapor，andfloatupwardandvanishinthedarkness——areleasedsoulsoaringhomewardfromcaptivitywiththedamned，nodoubt。Thecrashingplungeoftheruineddomeintothelakeagainwouldsendaworldofseethingbillowslashingagainsttheshoresandshakingthefoundationsofourperch。Byandby，aloosenedmassofthehangingshelfwesatontumbledintothelake，jarringthesurroundingslikeanearthquakeanddeliveringasuggestionthatmayhavebeenintendedforahint，andmaynot。Wedidnotwaittosee。
Wegotlostagainonourwayback，andweremorethananhourhuntingforthepath。Wewerewherewecouldseethebeaconlanternatthelook-outhouseatthetime，butthoughtitwasastarandpaidnoattentiontoit。
Wereachedthehotelattwoo\'clockinthemorningprettywellfaggedout。
Kilaueaneveroverflowsitsvastcrater，butburstsapassageforitslavathroughthemountainsidewhenreliefisnecessary，andthenthedestructionisfearful。About1840itrentitsoverburdenedstomachandsentabroadriveroffirecareeringdowntothesea，whichsweptawayforests，huts，plantationsandeverythingelsethatlayinitspath。
Thestreamwasfivemilesbroad，inplaces，andtwohundredfeetdeep，andthedistanceittraveledwasfortymiles。Ittoreupandboreawayacre-patchesoflandonitsbosomlikerafts——rocks，treesandallintact。Atnighttheredglarewasvisibleahundredmilesatsea；andatadistanceoffortymilesfineprintcouldbereadatmidnight。Theatmospherewaspoisonedwithsulphurousvaporsandchokedwithfallingashes，pumicestonesandcinders；countlesscolumnsofsmokeroseupandblendedtogetherinatumbledcanopythathidtheheavensandglowedwitharuddyflushreflectedfromthefiresbelow；hereandtherejetsoflavasprunghundredsoffeetintotheairandburstintorocket-spraysthatreturnedtoearthinacrimsonrain；andallthewhilethelaboringmountainshookwithNature\'sgreatpalsyandvoiceditsdistressinmoaningsandthemuffledboomingofsubterraneanthunders。
Fisheswerekilledfortwentymilesalongtheshore，wherethelavaenteredthesea。Theearthquakescausedsomelossofhumanlife，andaprodigioustidalwavesweptinland，carryingeverythingbeforeitanddrowninganumberofnatives。Thedevastationconsummatedalongtheroutetraversedbytheriveroflavawascompleteandincalculable。OnlyaPompeiiandaHerculaneumwereneededatthefootofKilaueatomakethestoryoftheirruptionimmortal。
CHAPTERLXXVI。
WerodehorsebackallaroundtheislandofHawaii(thecrookedroadmakingthedistancetwohundredmiles)，andenjoyedthejourneyverymuch。Weweremorethanaweekmakingthetrip，becauseourKanakahorseswouldnotgobyahouseorahutwithoutstopping——whipandspurcouldnotaltertheirmindsaboutit，andsowefinallyfoundthatiteconomizedtimetoletthemhavetheirway。Uponinquirythemysterywasexplained:thenativesaresuchthorough-goinggossipsthattheyneverpassahousewithoutstoppingtoswapnews，andconsequentlytheirhorseslearntoregardthatsortofthingasanessentialpartofthewholedutyofman，andhissalvationnottobecompassedwithoutit。However，ataformercrisisofmylifeIhadoncetakenanaristocraticyoungladyoutdriving，behindahorsethathadjustretiredfromalongandhonorablecareerasthemovingimpulseofamilkwagon，andsothispresentexperienceawokeareminiscentsadnessinmeinplaceoftheexasperationmorenaturaltotheoccasion。IrememberedhowhelplessIwasthatday，andhowhumiliated；howashamedIwasofhavingintimatedtothegirlthatIhadalwaysownedthehorseandwasaccustomedtograndeur；howhardItriedtoappeareasy，andevenvivacious，undersufferingthatwasconsumingmyvitals；howplacidlyandmaliciouslythegirlsmiled，andkeptonsmiling，whilemyhotblushesbakedthemselvesintoapermanentblood-puddinginmyface；howthehorseambledfromonesideofthestreettotheotherandwaitedcomplacentlybeforeeverythirdhousetwominutesandaquarterwhileIbelaboredhisbackandreviledhiminmyheart；howItriedtokeephimfromturningcornersandfailed；howI
movedheavenandearthtogethimoutoftown，anddidnotsucceed；howhetraversedtheentiresettlementanddeliveredimaginarymilkatahundredandsixty-twodifferentdomiciles，andhowhefinallybroughtupatadairydepotandrefusedtobudgefurther，thusroundingandcompletingtherevealmentofwhattheplebeianserviceofhislifehadbeen；how，ineloquentsilence，Iwalkedthegirlhome，andhow，whenI
tookleaveofher，herpartingremarkscorchedmysoulandappearedtoblistermeallover:shesaidthatmyhorsewasafine，capableanimal，andImusthavetakengreatcomfortinhiminmytime——butthatifI
wouldtakealongsomemilk-ticketsnexttime，andappeartodeliverthematthevarioushaltingplaces，itmightexpeditehismovementsalittle。
Therewasacoolnessbetweenusafterthat。
InoneplaceintheislandofHawaii，wesawalacedandruffledcataractoflimpidwaterleapingfromasheerprecipicefifteenhundredfeethigh；
butthatsortofsceneryfindsitsstanchestallyinthearithmeticratherthaninspectaculareffect。IfonedesirestobesostirredbyapoemofNaturewroughtinthehappilycommingledgracesofpicturesquerocks，glimpseddistances，foliage，color，shiftinglightsandshadows，andfailingwater，thatthetearsalmostcomeintohiseyessopotentisthecharmexerted，heneednotgoawayfromAmericatoenjoysuchanexperience。TheRainbowFall，inWatkinsGlen(N。Y。)，ontheErierailway，isanexample。Itwouldrecedeintopitiableinsignificanceifthecalloustouristdrewonarithmeticonit；butlefttocompeteforthehonorssimplyonscenicgraceandbeauty——thegrand，theaugustandthesublimebeingbarredthecontest——itcouldchallengetheoldworldandthenewtoproduceitspeer。
Inonelocality，onourjourney，wesawsomehorsesthathadbeenbornandrearedontopofthemountains，abovetherangeofrunningwater，andconsequentlytheyhadneverdrankthatfluidintheirlives，buthadbeenalwaysaccustomedtoquenchingtheirthirstbyeatingdew-ladenorshower-wettedleaves。Andnowitwasdestructivelyfunnytoseethemsniffsuspiciouslyatapailofwater，andthenputintheirnosesandtrytotakeabiteoutofthefluid，asifitwereasolid。Findingitliquid，theywouldsnatchawaytheirheadsandfalltotrembling，snortingandshowingotherevidencesoffright。Whentheybecameconvincedatlastthatthewaterwasfriendlyandharmless，theythrustintheirnosesuptotheireyes，broughtoutamouthfulofwater，andproceededtochewitcomplacently。Wesawamancoax，kickandspuroneofthemfiveortenminutesbeforehecouldmakeitcrossarunningstream。Itspreaditsnostrils，distendeditseyesandtrembledallover，justashorsescustomarilydointhepresenceofaserpent——andforaughtIknowitthoughtthecrawlingstreamwasaserpent。
InduecourseoftimeourjourneycametoanendatKawaehae(usuallypronouncedTo-a-hi——andbeforewefindfaultwiththiselaborateorthographicalmethodofarrivingatsuchanunostentatiousresult，letuslopofftheughfromourword“though“)。Imadethishorsebacktriponamule。IpaidtendollarsforhimatKau(Kah-oo)，addedfourtogethimshod，rodehimtwohundredmiles，andthensoldhimforfifteendollars。Imarkthecircumstancewithawhitestone(intheabsenceofchalk——forIneversawawhitestonethatabodycouldmarkanythingwith，thoughoutofrespectfortheancientsIhavetrieditoftenenough)；foruptothatdayanddateitwasthefirststrictlycommercialtransactionIhadeverenteredinto，andcomeoutwinner。WereturnedtoHonolulu，andfromthencesailedtotheislandofMaui，andspentseveralweeksthereverypleasantly。Istillremember，withasenseofindolentluxury，apicnicingexcursionuparomanticgorgethere，calledtheIaoValley。Thetraillayalongtheedgeofabrawlingstreaminthebottomofthegorge——ashadyroute，foritwaswellroofedwiththeverdantdomesofforesttrees。Throughopeningsinthefoliageweglimpsedpicturesquescenerythatrevealedceaselesschangesandnewcharmswitheverystepofourprogress。Perpendicularwallsfromonetothreethousandfeethighguardedtheway，andweresumptuouslyplumedwithvariedfoliage，inplaces，andinplacesswathedinwavingferns。
Passingshredsofcloudtrailedtheirshadowsacrosstheseshiningfronts，mottlingthemwithblots；billowymassesofwhitevaporhidtheturretedsummits，andfarabovethevaporswelledabackgroundofgleaminggreencragsandconesthatcameandwent，throughtheveilingmists，likeislandsdriftinginafog；sometimesthecloudycurtaindescendedtillhalfthecanonwallwashidden，thenshreddedgraduallyawaytillonlyairyglimpsesofthefernyfrontappearedthroughit——thensweptaloftandleftitglorifiedinthesunagain。Nowandthen，asourpositionchanged，rockybastionsswungoutfromthewall，amimicruinofcastellatedrampartsandcrumblingtowersclothedwithmossesandhungwithgarlandsofswayingvines，andaswemovedontheyswungbackagainandhidthemselvesoncemoreinthefoliage。Presentlyaverdure-cladneedleofstone，athousandfeethigh，steppedoutfrombehindacorner，andmountedguardoverthemysteriesofthevalley。ItseemedtomethatifCaptainCookneededamonument，herewasonereadymade——therefore，whynotputuphissignhere，andselloutthevenerablecocoanutstump?
ButthechiefprideofMauiisherdeadvolcanoofHaleakala——whichmeans，translated，“thehouseofthesun。”Weclimbedathousandfeetupthesideofthisisolatedcolossusoneafternoon；thencamped，andnextdayclimbedtheremainingninethousandfeet，andanchoredonthesummit，wherewebuiltafireandfrozeandroastedbyturns，allnight。Withthefirstpallorofdawnwegotupandsawthingsthatwerenewtous。
Mountedonacommandingpinnacle，wewatchedNatureworkhersilentwonders。Theseawasspreadabroadoneveryhand，itstumbledsurfaceseemingonlywrinkledanddimpledinthedistance。Abroadvalleybelowappearedlikeanamplechecker-board，itsvelvetygreensugarplantationsalternatingwithdunsquaresofbarrennessandgrovesoftreesdiminishedtomossytufts。Beyondthevalleyweremountainspicturesquelygroupedtogether；butbearinmind，wefanciedthatwewerelookingupatthesethings——notdown。Weseemedtositinthebottomofasymmetricalbowltenthousandfeetdeep，withthevalleyandtheskirtingsealiftedawayintotheskyaboveus！Itwascurious；andnotonlycurious，butaggravating；foritwashavingourtroubleallfornothing，toclimbtenthousandfeettowardheavenandthenhavetolookupatourscenery。
However，wehadtobecontentwithitandmakethebestofit；for，allwecoulddowecouldnotcoaxourlandscapedownoutoftheclouds。
Formerly，whenIhadreadanarticleinwhichPoetreatedofthissingularfraudperpetratedupontheeyebyisolatedgreataltitudes，Ihadlookeduponthematterasaninventionofhisownfancy。
Ihavespokenoftheoutsideview——butwehadaninsideone，too。Thatwastheyawningdeadcrater，intowhichwenowandthentumbledrocks，halfaslargeasabarrel，fromourperch，andsawthemgocareeringdownthealmostperpendicularsides，boundingthreehundredfeetatajump；
kickingupcast-cloudswherevertheystruck；diminishingtoourviewastheyspedfartherintodistance；growinginvisible，finally，andonlybetrayingtheircoursebyfaintlittlepuffsofdust；andcomingtoahaltatlastinthebottomoftheabyss，twothousandfivehundredfeetdownfromwheretheystarted！Itwasmagnificentsport。Weworeourselvesoutatit。
ThecraterofVesuvius，asIhavebeforeremarked，isamodestpitaboutathousandfeetdeepandthreethousandincircumference；thatofKilaueaissomewhatdeeper，andtenmilesincircumference。ButwhatareeitherofthemcomparedtothevacantstomachofHaleakala?Iwillnotofferanyfiguresofmyown，butgiveofficialones——thoseofCommanderWilkes，U。S。N。，whosurveyeditandtestifiesthatitistwenty-sevenmilesincircumference！IfithadalevelbottomitwouldmakeafinesiteforacitylikeLondon。Itmusthaveaffordedaspectacleworthcontemplatingintheolddayswhenitsfurnacesgavefullreintotheiranger。
Presentlyvagrantwhitecloudscamedriftingalong，highovertheseaandthevalley；thentheycameincouplesandgroups；theninimposingsquadrons；graduallyjoiningtheirforces，theybankedthemselvessolidlytogether，athousandfeetunderus，andtotallyshutoutlandandocean——
notavestigeofanythingwasleftinviewbutjustalittleoftherimofthecrater，circlingawayfromthepinnaclewhereonwesat(foraghostlyprocessionofwanderersfromthefilmyhostswithouthaddriftedthroughachasminthecraterwallandfiledroundandround，andgatheredandsunkandblendedtogethertilltheabysswasstoredtothebrimwithafleecyfog)。Thusbanked，motionceased，andsilencereigned。Cleartothehorizon，leagueonleague，thesnowyfloorstretchedwithoutabreak——notlevel，butinroundedfolds，withshallowcreasesbetween，andwithhereandtherestatelypilesofvaporyarchitectureliftingthemselvesaloftoutofthecommonplain——somenearathand，someinthemiddledistances，andothersrelievingthemonotonyoftheremotesolitudes。Therewaslittleconversation，fortheimpressivesceneoverawedspeech。IfeltliketheLastMan，neglectedofthejudgment，andleftpinnacledinmid-heaven，aforgottenrelicofavanishedworld。
Whilethehushyetbrooded，themessengersofthecomingresurrectionappearedintheEast。Agrowingwarmthsuffusedthehorizon，andsoonthesunemergedandlookedoutoverthecloud-waste，flingingbarsofruddylightacrossit，stainingitsfoldsandbillow-capswithblushes，purplingtheshadedtroughsbetween，andglorifyingthemassyvapor-
palacesandcathedralswithawastefulsplendorofallblendingsandcombinationsofrichcoloring。
ItwasthesublimestspectacleIeverwitnessed，andIthinkthememoryofitwillremainwithmealways。
CHAPTERLXXVII。
IstumbledupononecuriouscharacterintheIslandofMani。Hebecameasoreannoyancetomeinthecourseoftime。MyfirstglimpseofhimwasinasortofpublicroominthetownofLahaina。Heoccupiedachairattheoppositesideoftheapartment，andsateyeingourpartywithinterestforsomeminutes，andlisteningascriticallytowhatweweresayingasifhefanciedweweretalkingtohimandexpectinghimtoreply。Ithoughtitverysociableinastranger。Presently，inthecourseofconversation，Imadeastatementbearinguponthesubjectunderdiscussion——andImadeitwithduemodesty，fortherewasnothingextraordinaryaboutit，anditwasonlyputforthinillustrationofapointatissue。Ihadbarelyfinishedwhenthispersonspokeoutwithrapidutteranceandfeverishanxiety:
“Oh，thatwascertainlyremarkable，afterafashion，butyououghttohaveseenmychimney——yououghttohaveseenmychimney，sir！Smoke！
IwishImayhangif——Mr。Jones，yourememberthatchimney——youmustrememberthatchimney！No，no——Irecollect，now，youwarn\'tlivingonthissideoftheislandthen。ButIamtellingyounothingbutthetruth，andIwishImayneverdrawanotherbreathifthatchimneydidn\'tsmokesothatthesmokeactuallygotcakedinitandIhadtodigitoutwithapickaxe！Youmaysmile，gentlemen，buttheHighSheriff\'sgotahunkofitwhichIdugoutbeforehiseyes，andsoit\'sperfectlyeasyforyoutogoandexamineforyourselves。”
Theinterruptionbrokeuptheconversation，whichhadalreadybeguntolag，andwepresentlyhiredsomenativesandanout-riggercanoeortwo，andwentouttooverlookagrandsurf-bathingcontest。
Twoweeksafterthis，whiletalkinginacompany，Ilookedupanddetectedthissamemanboringthroughandthroughmewithhisintenseeye，andnotedagainhistwitchingmusclesandhisfeverishanxietytospeak。ThemomentIpaused，hesaid:
“Begyourpardon，sir，begyourpardon，butitcanonlybeconsideredremarkablewhenbroughtintostrongoutlinebyisolation。Sir，contrastedwithacircumstancewhichoccurredinmyownexperience，itinstantlybecomescommonplace。No，notthat——forIwillnotspeaksodiscourteouslyofanyexperienceinthecareerofastrangerandagentleman——butIamobligedtosaythatyoucouldnot，andyouwouldnoteveragainrefertothistreeasalargeone，ifyoucouldbehold，asI
have，thegreatYakmatacktree，intheislandofOunaska，seaofKamtchatka——atree，sir，notoneinchlessthanfourhundredandfifteenfeetinsoliddiameter！——andIwishImaydieinaminuteifitisn\'tso！
Oh，youneedn\'tlooksoquestioning，gentlemen；here\'soldCapSaltmarshcansaywhetherIknowwhatI\'mtalkingaboutornot。Ishowedhimthetree。”
CaptainSaltmarsh——“Come，now，catyouranchor，lad——you\'reheavingtootaut。Youpromisedtoshowmethatstunner，andIwalkedmorethanelevenmilewithyouthroughthecussedestjungleIeversee，ahuntingforit；butthetreeyoushowedmefinallywarn\'tasbigaroundasabeercask，andyouknowthatyourownself，Markiss。”
“Hearthemantalk！Ofcoursethetreewasreducedthatway，butdidn\'tIexplainit?Answerme，didn\'tI?Didn\'tIsayIwishedyoucouldhaveseenitwhenIfirstsawit?Whenyougotuponyourearandcalledmenames，andsaidIhadbroughtyouelevenmilestolookatasapling，didn\'tIexplaintoyouthatallthewhale-shipsintheNorthSeashadbeenwoodingoffofitformorethantwenty-sevenyears?Anddidyous\'posethetreecouldlastfor-ever，con-foundit?Idon\'tseewhyyouwanttokeepbackthingsthatway，andtrytoinjureapersonthat\'sneverdoneyouanyharm。”
Somehowthisman\'spresencemademeuncomfortable，andIwasgladwhenanativearrivedatthatmomenttosaythatMuckawow，themostcompanionableandluxuriousamongtherudewar-chiefsoftheIslands，desiredustocomeoverandhelphimenjoyamissionarywhomhehadfoundtrespassingonhisgrounds。
Ithinkitwasabouttendaysafterwardthat，asIfinishedastatementI
wasmakingfortheinstructionofagroupoffriendsandacquaintances，andwhichmadenopretenceofbeingextraordinary，afamiliarvoicechimedinstantlyinontheheelsofmylastword，andsaid:
“But，mydearsir，therewasnothingremarkableaboutthathorse，orthecircumstanceeither——nothingintheworld！ImeannosortofoffencewhenIsayit，sir，butyoureallydonotknowanythingwhateveraboutspeed。Blessyourheart，ifyoucouldonlyhaveseenmymareMargaretta；
therewasabeast！——therewaslightningforyou！Trot！Trotisnonameforit——sheflew！Howshecouldwhirlabuggyalong！Istartedheroutonce，sir——ColonelBilgewater，yourecollectthatanimalperfectlywell——
Istartedheroutaboutthirtyorthirty-fiveyardsaheadoftheawfulleststormIeversawinmylife，anditchasedusupwardsofeighteenmiles！Itdid，bytheeverlastinghills！AndI\'mtellingyounothingbuttheunvarnishedtruthwhenIsaythatnotonesingledropofrainfellonme——notasingledrop，sir！AndIsweartoit！Butmydogwasa-swimmingbehindthewagonalltheway！“
ForaweekortwoIstayedmostlywithindoors，forIseemedtomeetthispersoneverywhere，andhehadbecomeutterlyhatefultome。ButoneeveningIdroppedinonCaptainPerkinsandhisfriends，andwehadasociabletime。Aboutteno\'clockIchancedtobetalkingaboutamerchantfriendofmine，andwithoutreallyintendingit，theremarkslippedoutthathewasalittlemeanandparsimoniousaboutpayinghisworkmen。Instantly，throughthesteamofahotwhiskeypunchontheoppositesideoftheroom，arememberedvoiceshot——andforamomentI
trembledontheimminentvergeofprofanity:
“Oh，mydearsir，reallyyouexposeyourselfwhenyouparadethatasasurprisingcircumstance。Blessyourheartandhide，youareignorantoftheveryABCofmeanness！ignorantastheunbornbabe！ignorantasunborntwins！Youdon\'tknowanythingaboutit！Itispitiabletoseeyou，sir，awell-spokenandprepossessingstranger，makingsuchanenormouspow-wowhereaboutasubjectconcerningwhichyourignoranceisperfectlyhumiliating！Lookmeintheeye，ifyouplease；lookmeintheeye。JohnJamesGodfreywasthesonofpoorbuthonestparentsintheStateofMississippi——boyhoodfriendofmine——bosomcomradeinlateryears。Heavenresthisnoblespirit，heisgonefromusnow。JohnJamesGodfreywashiredbytheHayblossomMiningCompanyinCaliforniatodosomeblastingforthem——the“IncorporatedCompanyofMeanMen，“theboysusedtocallit。
Well，onedayhedrilledaholeaboutfourfeetdeepandputinanawfulblastofpowder，andwasstandingoveritrammingitdownwithanironcrowbaraboutninefootlong，whenthecussedthingstruckasparkandfiredthepowder，andscat！awayJohnGodfreywhizzedlikeaskyrocket，himandhiscrowbar！Well，sir，hekeptongoingupintheairhigherandhigher，tillhedidn\'tlookanybiggerthanaboy——andhekeptgoingonuphigherandhigher，tillhedidn\'tlookanybiggerthanadoll——andhekeptongoinguphigherandhigher，tillhedidn\'tlookanybiggerthanalittlesmallbee——andthenhewentoutofsight！Presentlyhecameinsightagain，lookinglikealittlesmallbee——andhecamealongdownfurtherandfurther，tillhelookedasbigasadollagain——anddownfurtherandfurther，tillhewasasbigasaboyagain——andfurtherandfurther，tillhewasafull-sizedmanoncemore；andthenhimandhiscrowbarcameawh-izzingdownandlitrightexactlyinthesameoldtracksandwenttor-rammingdown，andr-rammingdown，andr-rammingdownagain，justthesameasifnothinghadhappened！Nowdoyouknow，thatpoorcusswarn\'tgoneonlysixteenminutes，andyetthatIncorporatedCompanyofMeanMenDOCKEDHIMFORTHELOSTTIME！“
IsaidIhadtheheadache，andsoexcusedmyselfandwenthome。AndonmydiaryIentered“anothernightspoiled“bythisoffensiveloafer。
Andaferventcursewassetdownwithittokeeptheitemcompany。AndtheverynextdayIpackedup，outofallpatience，andlefttheIsland。
Almostfromtheverybeginning，Iregardedthatmanasaliar。
Thelineofpointsrepresentsanintervalofyears。Attheendofwhichtimetheopinionhazardedinthatlastsentencecametobegratifyinglyandremarkablyendorsed，andbywhollydisinterestedpersons。ThemanMarkisswasfoundonemorninghangingtoabeamofhisownbedroom(thedoorsandwindowssecurelyfastenedontheinside)，dead；andonhisbreastwaspinnedapaperinhisownhandwritingbegginghisfriendstosuspectnoinnocentpersonofhavinganythingtodowithhisdeath，forthatitwastheworkofhisownhandsentirely。Yetthejurybroughtintheastoundingverdictthatdeceasedcametohisdeath“bythehandsofsomepersonorpersonsunknown！“TheyexplainedthattheperfectlyundeviatingconsistencyofMarkiss\'scharacterforthirtyyearstoweredaloftascolossalandindestructibletestimony，thatwhateverstatementhechosetomakewasentitledtoinstantandunquestioningacceptanceasalie。Andtheyfurthermorestatedtheirbeliefthathewasnotdead，andinstancedthestrongcircumstantialevidenceofhisownwordthathewasdead——andbeseechedthecoronertodelaythefuneralaslongaspossible，whichwasdone。AndsointhetropicalclimateofLahainathecoffinstoodopenforsevendays，andtheneventheloyaljurygavehimup。Buttheysatonhimagain，andchangedtheirverdictto“suicideinducedbymentalaberration“——because，saidthey，withpenetration，“hesaidhewasdead，andhewasdead；andwouldhehavetoldthetruthifhehadbeeninhisrightmind?No，sir。”
CHAPTERLXXVIII。
Afterhalfayear\'sluxuriousvagrancyintheislands，Itookshippinginasailingvessel，andregretfullyreturnedtoSanFrancisco——avoyageineverywaydelightful，butwithoutanincident:unlesslyingtwolongweeksinadeadcalm，eighteenhundredmilesfromthenearestland，mayrankasanincident。Schoolsofwhalesgrewsotamethatdayafterdaytheyplayedabouttheshipamongtheporpoisesandthesharkswithouttheleastapparentfearofus，andwepeltedthemwithemptybottlesforlackofbettersport。Twenty-fourhoursafterwardthesebottleswouldbestilllyingontheglassywaterunderournoses，showingthattheshiphadnotmovedoutofherplaceinallthattime。Thecalmwasabsolutelybreathless，andthesurfaceoftheseaabsolutelywithoutawrinkle。
Forawholedayandpartofanightwelaysoclosetoanothershipthathaddriftedtoourvicinity，thatwecarriedonconversationswithherpassengers，introducedeachotherbyname，andbecameprettyintimatelyacquaintedwithpeoplewehadneverheardofbefore，andhaveneverheardofsince。Thiswastheonlyvesselwesawduringthewholelonelyvoyage。Wehadfifteenpassengers，andtoshowhowhardpressedtheywereatlastforoccupationandamusement，Iwillmentionthatthegentlemengaveagoodpartoftheirtimeeveryday，duringthecalm，totryingtositonanemptychampagnebottle(lyingonitsside)，andthreadaneedlewithouttouchingtheirheelstothedeck，orfallingover；andtheladiessatintheshadeofthemainsail，andwatchedtheenterprisewithabsorbinginterest。WewereatseafiveSundays；andyet，butforthealmanac，weneverwouldhaveknownbutthatalltheotherdayswereSundaystoo。
Iwashomeagain，inSanFrancisco，withoutmeansandwithoutemployment。
Itorturedmybrainforasavingschemeofsomekind，andatlastapubliclectureoccurredtome！Isatdownandwroteone，inafeverofhopefulanticipation。Ishowedittoseveralfriends，buttheyallshooktheirheads。Theysaidnobodywouldcometohearme，andIwouldmakeahumiliatingfailureofit。
TheysaidthatasIhadneverspokeninpublic，Iwouldbreakdowninthedelivery，anyhow。Iwasdisconsolatenow。Butatlastaneditorslappedmeonthebackandtoldmeto“goahead。”Hesaid，“Takethelargesthouseintown，andchargeadollaraticket。”Theaudacityofthepropositionwascharming；itseemedfraughtwithpracticalworldlywisdom，however。Theproprietoroftheseveraltheatresendorsedtheadvice，andsaidImighthavehishandsomenewopera-houseathalfprice——fiftydollars。InsheerdesperationItookit——oncredit，forsufficientreasons。InthreedaysIdidahundredandfiftydollars\'
worthofprintingandadvertising，andwasthemostdistressedandfrightenedcreatureonthePacificcoast。Icouldnotsleep——whocould，undersuchcircumstances?Forotherpeopletherewasfacetiousnessinthelastlineofmyposters，buttomeitwasplaintivewithapangwhenIwroteit:
“Doorsopenat71/2。Thetroublewillbeginat8。”
Thatlinehasdonegoodservicesince。Showmenhaveborroweditfrequently。Ihaveevenseenitappendedtoanewspaperadvertisementremindingschoolpupilsinvacationwhattimenexttermwouldbegin。Asthosethreedaysofsuspensedraggedby，Igrewmoreandmoreunhappy。
Ihadsoldtwohundredticketsamongmypersonalfriends，butIfearedtheymightnotcome。Mylecture，whichhadseemed“humorous“tome，atfirst，grewsteadilymoreandmoredreary，tillnotavestigeoffunseemedleft，andIgrievedthatIcouldnotbringacoffinonthestageandturnthethingintoafuneral。Iwassopanic-stricken，atlast，thatIwenttothreeoldfriends，giantsinstature，cordialbynature，andstormy-voiced，andsaid:
“Thisthingisgoingtobeafailure；thejokesinitaresodimthatnobodywilleverseethem；Iwouldliketohaveyousitintheparquette，andhelpmethrough。”
Theysaidtheywould。ThenIwenttothewifeofapopularcitizen，andsaidthatifshewaswillingtodomeaverygreatkindness，Iwouldbegladifsheandherhusbandwouldsitprominentlyintheleft-handstage-
box，wherethewholehousecouldseethem。IexplainedthatIshouldneedhelp，andwouldturntowardherandsmile，asasignal，whenIhadbeendeliveredofanobscurejoke——“andthen，“Iadded，“don\'twaittoinvestigate，butrespond！“
Shepromised。DownthestreetImetamanIneverhadseenbefore。Hehadbeendrinking，andwasbeamingwithsmilesandgoodnature。Hesaid:
“Myname\'sSawyer。Youdon\'tknowme，butthatdon\'tmatter。Ihaven\'tgotacent，butifyouknewhowbadIwantedtolaugh，you\'dgivemeaticket。Come，now，whatdoyousay?“
“Isyourlaughhungonahair-trigger?——thatis，isitcritical，orcanyougetitoffeasy?“
MydrawlinginfirmityofspeechsoaffectedhimthathelaughedaspecimenortwothatstruckmeasbeingaboutthearticleIwanted，andI
gavehimaticket，andappointedhimtositinthesecondcircle，inthecentre，andberesponsibleforthatdivisionofthehouse。Igavehimminuteinstructionsabouthowtodetectindistinctjokes，andthenwentaway，andlefthimchucklingplacidlyoverthenoveltyoftheidea。
Iatenothingonthelastofthethreeeventfuldays——Ionlysuffered。
Ihadadvertisedthatonthisthirddaythebox-officewouldbeopenedforthesaleofreservedseats。Icreptdowntothetheateratfourintheafternoontoseeifanysaleshadbeenmade。Theticketsellerwasgone，thebox-officewaslockedup。Ihadtoswallowsuddenly，ormyheartwouldhavegotout。“Nosales，“Isaidtomyself；“Imighthaveknownit。”Ithoughtofsuicide，pretendedillness，flight。Ithoughtofthesethingsinearnest，forIwasverymiserableandscared。ButofcourseIhadtodrivethemaway，andpreparetomeetmyfate。Icouldnotwaitforhalf-pastseven——Iwantedtofacethehorror，andendit——
thefeelingofmanyamandoomedtohang，nodoubt。Iwentdownbackstreetsatsixo\'clock，andenteredthetheatrebythebackdoor。
Istumbledmywayinthedarkamongtheranksofcanvasscenery，andstoodonthestage。Thehousewasgloomyandsilent，anditsemptinessdepressing。Iwentintothedarkamongthescenesagain，andforanhourandahalfgavemyselfuptothehorrors，whollyunconsciousofeverythingelse。ThenIheardamurmur；itrosehigherandhigher，andendedinacrash，mingledwithcheers。Itmademyhairraise，itwassoclosetome，andsoloud。
Therewasapause，andthenanother；presentlycameathird，andbeforeI
wellknewwhatIwasabout，Iwasinthemiddleofthestage，staringataseaoffaces，bewilderedbythefierceglareofthelights，andquakingineverylimbwithaterrorthatseemedliketotakemylifeaway。Thehousewasfull，aislesandall！
ThetummultinmyheartandbrainandlegscontinuedafullminutebeforeIcouldgainanycommandovermyself。ThenIrecognizedthecharityandthefriendlinessinthefacesbeforeme，andlittlebylittlemyfrightmeltedaway，andIbegantotalkWithinthreeorfourminutesIwascomfortable，andevencontent。Mythreechiefallies，withthreeauxiliaries，wereonhand，intheparquette，allsittingtogether，allarmedwithbludgeons，andallreadytomakeanonslaughtuponthefeeblestjokethatmightshowitshead。Andwheneverajokedidfall，theirbludgeonscamedownandtheirfacesseemedtosplitfromeartoear。
Sawyer，whoseheartycountenancewasseenloomingredlyinthecentreofthesecondcircle，tookitup，andthehousewascarriedhandsomely。
Inferiorjokesneverfaredsoroyallybefore。PresentlyIdeliveredabitofseriousmatterwithimpressiveunction(itwasmypet)，andtheaudiencelistenedwithanabsorbedhushthatgratifiedmemorethananyapplause；andasIdroppedthelastwordoftheclause，IhappenedtoturnandcatchMrs——\'sintentandwaitingeye；myconversationwithherflasheduponme，andinspiteofallIcoulddoIsmiled。Shetookitforthesignal，andpromptlydeliveredamellowlaughthattouchedoffthewholeaudience；andtheexplosionthatfollowedwasthetriumphoftheevening。IthoughtthatthathonestmanSawyerwouldchokehimself；
andasforthebludgeons，theyperformedlikepile-drivers。Butmypoorlittlemorselofpathoswasruined。Itwastakeningoodfaithasanintentionaljoke，andtheprizeoneoftheentertainment，andIwiselyletitgoatthat。
Allthepaperswerekindinthemorning；myappetitereturned；Ihadaabundanceofmoney。All\'swellthatendswell。
CHAPTERLXXIX。
Ilaunchedoutasalecturer，now，withgreatboldness。Ihadthefieldalltomyself，forpubliclectureswerealmostanunknowncommodityinthePacificmarket。Theyarenotsorare，now，Isuppose。Itookanoldpersonalfriendalongtoplayagentforme，andfortwoorthreeweeksweroamedthroughNevadaandCaliforniaandhadaverycheerfultimeofit。
TwodaysbeforeIlecturedinVirginiaCity，twostagecoacheswererobbedwithintwomilesofthetown。Thedaringactwascommittedjustatdawn，bysixmaskedmen，whosprangupalongsidethecoaches，presentedrevolversattheheadsofthedriversandpassengers，andcommandedageneraldismount。Everybodyclimbeddown，andtherobberstooktheirwatchesandeverycenttheyhad。Thentheytookgunpowderandblewuptheexpressspecieboxesandgottheircontents。Theleaderoftherobberswasasmall，quick-spokenman，andthefameofhisvigorousmannerandhisintrepiditywasineverybody\'smouthwhenwearrived。
ThenightafterinstructingVirginia，Iwalkedoverthedesolate“divide“
anddowntoGoldHill，andlecturedthere。Thelecturedone，Istoppedtotalkwithafriend，anddidnotstartbacktilleleven。The“divide“
washigh，unoccupiedground，betweenthetowns，thesceneoftwentymidnightmurdersandahundredrobberies。Asweclimbedupandsteppedoutonthiseminence，theGoldHilllightsdroppedoutofsightatourbacks，andthenightcloseddowngloomyanddismal。Asharpwindswepttheplace，too，andchilledourperspiringbodiesthrough。
“ItellyouIdon\'tlikethisplaceatnight，“saidMiketheagent。
“Well，don\'tspeaksoloud，“Isaid。“Youneedn\'tremindanybodythatwearehere。”
JustthenadimfigureapproachedmefromthedirectionofVirginia——aman，evidently。Hecamestraightatme，andIsteppedasidetolethimpass；hesteppedinthewayandconfrontedmeagain。ThenIsawthathehadamaskonandwasholdingsomethinginmyface——Iheardaclick-clickandrecognizedarevolverindimoutline。Ipushedthebarrelasidewithmyhandandsaid:
“Don\'t！“
Heejaculatedsharply:
“Yourwatch！Yourmoney！“
Isaid:
“Youcanhavethemwithpleasure——buttakethepistolawayfrommyface，please。Itmakesmeshiver。”
“Noremarks！Handoutyourmoney！“
“Certainly——I——“
“Putupyourhands！Don\'tyougoforaweapon！Put\'emup！Higher！“
Iheldthemabovemyhead。
Apause。Then:
“Areyougoingtohandoutyourmoneyornot?“
Idroppedmyhandstomypocketsandsaid:
Certainly！I——“
“Putupyourhands！Doyouwantyourheadblownoff?Higher！“
Iputthemabovemyheadagain。
Anotherpause。
Areyougoingtohandoutyourmoneyornot?Ah-ah——again?Putupyourhands！ByGeorge，youwanttheheadshotoffyouawfulbad！“
“Well，friend，I\'mtryingmybesttopleaseyou。Youtellmetogiveupmymoney，andwhenIreachforityoutellmetoputupmyhands。Ifyouwouldonly。Oh，now——don\'t！Allsixofyouatme！Thatothermanwillgetawaywhile——Nowpleasetakesomeofthoserevolversoutofmyface——do，ifyouplease！Everytimeoneofthemclicks，mylivercomesupintomythroat！Ifyouhaveamother——anyofyou——orifanyofyouhaveeverhadamother——ora——grandmother——ora——“
“Cheeseit！Willyougiveupyourmoney，orhavewegotto。There——
there——noneofthat！Putupyourhands！“
“Gentlemen——Iknowyouaregentlemenbyyour——“
“Silence！Ifyouwanttobefacetious，youngman，therearetimesandplacesmorefitting。Thisisaseriousbusiness。”
“Youprickthemarrowofmyopinion。ThefuneralsIhaveattendedinmytimewerecomediescomparedtoit。NowIthink——“
“Curseyourpalaver！Yourmoney！——yourmoney！——yourmoney！Hold！——putupyourhands！“
“Gentlemen，listentoreason。YouseehowIamsituated——nowdon\'tputthosepistolssoclose——Ismellthepowder。
YouseehowIamsituated。IfIhadfourhands——sothatIcouldholduptwoand——“
“Throttlehim！Gaghim！Killhim！“
“Gentlemen，don\'t！Nobody\'swatchingtheotherfellow。Whydon\'tsomeofyou。Ouch！Takeitaway，please！
Gentlemen，youseethatI\'vegottoholdupmyhands；andsoIcan\'ttakeoutmymoney——butifyou\'llbesokindastotakeitoutforme，Iwilldoasmuchforyousome——“
“SearchhimBeauregard——andstophisjawwithabullet，quick，ifhewagsitagain。HelpBeauregard，Stonewall。”
Thenthreeofthem，withthesmall，spryleader，adjournedtoMikeandfelltosearchinghim。Iwassoexcitedthatmylawlessfancytorturedmetoaskmytwomenallmanneroffacetiousquestionsabouttheirrebelbrother-generalsoftheSouth，but，consideringtheordertheyhadreceived，itwasbutcommonprudencetokeepstill。Wheneverythinghadbeentakenfromme，——watch，money，andamultitudeoftriflesofsmallvalue，——IsupposedIwasfree，andforthwithputmycoldhandsintomyemptypocketsandbegananinoffensivejigtowarmmyfeetandstirupsomelatentcourage——butinstantlyallpistolswereatmyhead，andtheordercameagain:
TheystoodMikeupalongsideofme，withstrictorderstokeephishandsabovehishead，too，andthenthechiefhighwaymansaid:
“Beauregard，hidebehindthatboulder；PhilSheridan，youhidebehindthatotherone；StonewallJackson，putyourselfbehindthatsage-bushthere。Keepyourpistolsbearingonthesefellows，andiftheytakedowntheirhandswithintenminutes，ormoveasinglepeg，letthemhaveit！“
Thenthreedisappearedinthegloomtowardtheseveralambushes，andtheotherthreedisappeareddowntheroadtowardVirginia。
Itwasdepressinglystill，andmiserablycold。Nowthiswholethingwasapracticaljoke，andtherobberswerepersonalfriendsofoursindisguise，andtwentymorelayhiddenwithintenfeetofusduringthewholeoperation，listening。Mikeknewallthis，andwasinthejoke，butIsuspectednothingofit。Tomeitwasmostuncomfortablygenuine。
Whenwehadstoodthereinthemiddleoftheroadfiveminutes，likeacoupleofidiots，withourhandsaloft，freezingtodeathbyinches，Mike\'sinterestinthejokebegantowane。Hesaid:
“Thetime\'sup，now，aintit?“
“No，youkeepstill。Doyouwanttotakeanychanceswiththesebloodysavages?“
PresentlyMikesaid:
“Nowthetime\'sup，anyway。I\'mfreezing。”
“Wellfreeze。Betterfreezethancarryyourbrainshomeinabasket。
Maybethetimeisup，buthowdoweknow?——gotnowatchtotellby。
Imeantogivethemgoodmeasure。Icalculatetostandherefifteenminutesordie。Don\'tyoumove。”
So，withoutknowingit，Iwasmakingonejokerverysickofhiscontract。
Whenwetookourarmsdownatlast，theywereachingwithcoldandfatigue，andwhenwewentsneakingoff，thedreadIwasinthatthetimemightnotyetbeupandthatwewouldfeelbulletsinamoment，wasnotsufficienttodrawallmyattentionfromthemiserythatrackedmystiffenedbody。
Thejokeofthesehighwaymanfriendsofourswasmainlyajokeuponthemselves；fortheyhadwaitedformeonthecoldhill-toptwofullhoursbeforeIcame，andtherewasverylittlefuninthat；theyweresochilledthatittookthemacoupleofweekstogetwarmagain。Moreover，Ineverhadathoughtthattheywouldkillmetogetmoneywhichitwassoperfectlyeasytogetwithoutanysuchfolly，andsotheydidnotreallyfrightenmebadenoughtomaketheirenjoymentworththetroubletheyhadtaken。Iwasonlyafraidthattheirweaponswouldgooffaccidentally。Theirverynumbersinspiredmewithconfidencethatnobloodwouldbeintentionallyspilled。Theywerenotsmart；theyoughttohavesentonlyonehighwayman，withadouble-barrelledshotgun，iftheydesiredtoseetheauthorofthisvolumeclimbatree。
However，IsupposethatinthelongrunIgotthelargestshareofthejokeatlast；andinashapenotforeseenbythehighwaymen；forthechillyexposureonthe“divide“whileIwasinaperspirationgavemeacoldwhichdevelopeditselfintoatroublesomediseaseandkeptmyhandsidlesomethreemonths，besidescostingmequiteasumindoctor\'sbills。
SincethenIplaynopracticaljokesonpeopleandgenerallylosemytemperwhenoneisplayeduponme。
WhenIreturnedtoSanFranciscoIprojectedapleasurejourneytoJapanandthencewestwardaroundtheworld；butadesiretoseehomeagainchangedmymind，andItookaberthinthesteamship，badegood-byetothefriendliestlandandlivest，heartiestcommunityonourcontinent，andcamebythewayoftheIsthmustoNewYork——atripthatwasnotmuchofapic-nicexcursion，forthecholerabrokeoutamongusonthepassageandweburiedtwoorthreebodiesatseaeveryday。Ifoundhomeadrearyplaceaftermylongabsence；forhalfthechildrenIhadknownwerenowwearingwhiskersorwaterfalls，andfewofthegrownpeopleI
hadbeenacquaintedwithremainedattheirhearthstonesprosperousandhappy——someofthemhadwanderedtootherscenes，somewereinjail，andtheresthadbeenhanged。Thesechangestouchedmedeeply，andIwentawayandjoinedthefamousQuakerCityEuropeanExcursionandcarriedmytearstoforeignlands。
Thus，aftersevenyearsofvicissitudes，endeda“pleasuretrip“tothesilverminesofNevadawhichhadoriginallybeenintendedtooccupyonlythreemonths。However，Iusuallymissmycalculationsfurtherthanthat。
MORAL。
Ifthereaderthinksheisdone，now，andthatthisbookhasnomoraltoit，heisinerror。Themoralofitisthis:Ifyouareofanyaccount，stayathomeandmakeyourwaybyfaithfuldiligence；butifyouare“noaccount，“goawayfromhome，andthenyouwillhavetowork，whetheryouwanttoornot。Thusyoubecomeablessingtoyourfriendsbyceasingtobeanuisancetothem——ifthepeopleyougoamongsufferbytheoperation。
APPENDIX。A。
BRIEFSKETCHOFMORMONHISTORY。
Mormonismisonlyaboutfortyyearsold，butitscareerhasbeenfullofstirandadventurefromthebeginning，andislikelytoremainsototheend。Itsadherentshavebeenhuntedandhoundedfromoneendofthecountrytotheother，andtheresultisthatforyearstheyhavehatedall“Gentiles“indiscriminatelyandwithalltheirmight。JosephSmith，thefinderoftheBookofMormonandfounderofthereligion，wasdrivenfromStatetoStatewithhismysteriouscopperplatesandthemiraculousstoneshereadtheirinscriptionswith。Finallyheinstitutedhis“church“inOhioandBrighamYoungjoinedit。Theneighborsbegantopersecute，andapostasycommenced。Brighamheldtothefaithandworkedhard。Hearresteddesertion。Hedidmore——headdedconvertsinthemidstofthetrouble。Heroseinfavorandimportancewiththebrethren。
HewasmadeoneoftheTwelveApostlesoftheChurch。Heshortlyfoughthiswaytoahigherpostandamorepowerful——PresidentoftheTwelve。
TheneighborsroseupanddrovetheMormonsoutofOhio，andtheysettledinMissouri。Brighamwentwiththem。TheMissouriansdrovethemoutandtheyretreatedtoNauvoo，Illinois。Theyprosperedthere，andbuiltatemplewhichmadesomepretensionstoarchitecturalgraceandachievedsomecelebrityinasectionofcountrywhereabrickcourt-housewithatindomeandacupolaonitwascontemplatedwithreverentialawe。
ButtheMormonswerebadgeredandharriedagainbytheirneighbors。
AlltheproclamationsJosephSmithcouldissuedenouncingpolygamyandrepudiatingitasutterlyanti-Mormonwereofnoavail；thepeopleoftheneighborhood，onbothsidesoftheMississippi，claimedthatpolygamywaspractisedbytheMormons，andnotonlypolygamybutalittleofeverythingthatwasbad。BrighamreturnedfromamissiontoEngland，wherehehadestablishedaMormonnewspaper，andhebroughtbackwithhimseveralhundredconvertstohispreaching。Hisinfluenceamongthebrethrenaugmentedwitheverymovehemade。FinallyNauvoowasinvadedbytheMissouriandIllinoisGentiles，andJosephSmithkilled。AMormonnamedRigdonassumedthePresidencyoftheMormonchurchandgovernment，inSmith\'splace，andeventriedhishandataprophecyortwo。Butagreaterthanhewasathand。Brighamseizedtheadvantageofthehourandwithoutotherauthoritythansuperiorbrainandnerveandwill，hurledRigdonfromhishighplaceandoccupiedithimself。Hedidmore。
HelaunchedanelaboratecurseatRigdonandhisdisciples；andhepronouncedRigdon\'s“prophecies“emanationsfromthedevil，andendedby“handingthefalseprophetovertothebuffetingsofSatanforathousandyears“——probablythelongesttermeverinflictedinIllinois。Thepeoplerecognizedtheirmaster。TheystraightwayelectedBrighamYoungPresident，byaprodigiousmajority，andhaveneverfalteredintheirdevotiontohimfromthatdaytothis。Brighamhadforecast——aqualitywhichnootherprominentMormonhasprobablyeverpossessed。
Herecognizedthatitwasbettertomovetothewildernessthanbemoved。
Byhiscommandthepeoplegatheredtogethertheirmeagreeffects，turnedtheirbacksupontheirhomes，andtheirfacestowardthewilderness，andonabitternightinFebruaryfiledinsorrowfulprocessionacrossthefrozenMississippi，lightedontheirwaybytheglarefromtheirburningtemple，whosesacredfurnituretheirownhandshadfired！Theycamped，severaldaysafterward，onthewesternvergeofIowa，andpoverty，want，hunger，cold，sickness，griefandpersecutiondidtheirwork，andmanysuccumbedanddied——martyrs，fairandtrue，whateverelsetheymighthavebeen。Twoyearstheremnantremainedthere，whileBrighamandasmallpartycrossedthecountryandfoundedGreatSaltLakeCity，purposelychoosingalandwhichwasoutsidetheownershipandjurisdictionofthehatedAmericannation。Notethat。Thiswasin1847。Brighammovedhispeoplethereandgotthemsettledjustintimetoseedisasterfallagain。ForthewarclosedandMexicocededBrigham\'srefugetotheenemy——theUnitedStates！In1849theMormonsorganizeda“freeandindependent“governmentanderectedthe“StateofDeseret，“withBrighamYoungasitshead。ButtheverynextyearCongressdeliberatelysnubbeditandcreatedthe“TerritoryofUtah“outofthesameaccumulationofmountains，sage-brush，alkaliandgeneraldesolation，——butmadeBrighamGovernorofit。ThenforyearstheenormousmigrationacrosstheplainstoCaliforniapouredthroughthelandoftheMormonsandyetthechurchremainedstaunchandtruetoitslordandmaster。Neitherhunger，thirst，poverty，grief，hatred，contempt，norpersecutioncoulddrivetheMormonsfromtheirfaithortheirallegiance；andeventhethirstforgold，whichgleanedthefloweroftheyouthandstrengthofmanynationswasnotabletoenticethem！Thatwasthefinaltest。Anexperimentthatcouldsurvivethatwasanexperimentwithsomesubstancetoitsomewhere。
GreatSaltLakeCitythrovefinely，andsodidUtah。OneofthelastthingswhichBrighamYounghaddonebeforeleavingIowa，wastoappearinthepulpitdressedtopersonatetheworshippedandlamentedprophetSmith，andconferthepropheticsuccession，withallitsdignities，emolumentsandauthorities，upon“PresidentBrighamYoung！“Thepeopleacceptedthepiousfraudwiththemaddestenthusiasm，andBrigham\'spowerwassealedandsecuredforalltime。Withinfiveyearsafterwardheopenlyaddedpolygamytothetenetsofthechurchbyauthorityofa“revelation“whichhepretendedhadbeenreceivednineyearsbeforebyJosephSmith，albeitJosephisamplyonrecordasdenouncingpolygamytothedayofhisdeath。
NowwasBrighambecomeasecondAndrewJohnsoninthesmallbeginningandsteadyprogressofhisofficialgrandeur。Hehadservedsuccessivelyasadiscipleintheranks；homemissionary；foreignmissionary；editorandpublisher；Apostle；PresidentoftheBoardofApostles；PresidentofallMormondom，civilandecclesiastical；successortothegreatJosephbythewillofheaven；“prophet，““seer，““revelator。”Therewasbutonedignityhigherwhichhecouldaspireto，andhereachedoutmodestlyandtookthat——heproclaimedhimselfaGod！
Heclaimsthatheistohaveaheavenofhisownhereafter，andthathewillbeitsGod，andhiswivesandchildrenitsgoddesses，princesandprincesses。IntoitallfaithfulMormonswillbeadmitted，withtheirfamilies，andwilltakerankandconsequenceaccordingtothenumberoftheirwivesandchildren。Ifadisciplediesbeforehehashadtimetoaccumulateenoughwivesandchildrentoenablehimtoberespectableinthenextworldanyfriendcanmarryafewwivesandraiseafewchildrenforhimafterheisdead，andtheyaredulycreditedtohisaccountandhisheavenlystatusadvancedaccordingly。
LetitbeborneinmindthatthemajorityoftheMormonshavealwaysbeenignorant，simple，ofaninferiororderofintellect，unacquaintedwiththeworldanditsways；andletitbeborneinmindthatthewivesoftheseMormonsarenecessarilyafterthesamepatternandtheirchildrenlikelytobefitrepresentativesofsuchaconjunction；andthenletitberememberedthatforfortyyearsthesecreatureshavebeendriven，driven，driven，relentlessly！andmobbed，beaten，andshotdown；cursed，despised，expatriated；banishedtoaremotedesert，whithertheyjourneyedgauntwithfamineanddisease，disturbingtheancientsolitudeswiththeirlamentationsandmarkingthelongwaywithgravesoftheirdead——andallbecausetheyweresimplytryingtoliveandworshipGodinthewaywhichtheybelievedwithalltheirheartsandsoulstobethetrueone。Letallthesethingsbeborneinmind，andthenitwillnotbehardtoaccountforthedeathlesshatredwhichtheMormonsbearourpeopleandourgovernment。
Thathatredhas“fedfatitsancientgrudge“eversinceMormonUtahdevelopedintoaself-supportingrealmandthechurchwaxedrichandstrong。BrighamasTerritorialGovernormadeitplainthatMormondomwasfortheMormons。TheUnitedStatestriedtorectifyallthatbyappointingterritorialofficersfromNewEnglandandotheranti-Mormonlocalities，butBrighampreparedtomaketheirentranceintohisdominionsdifficult。ThreethousandUnitedStatestroopshadtogoacrosstheplainsandputthesegentlemeninoffice。Andaftertheywereinofficetheywereashelplessassomanystoneimages。Theymadelawswhichnobodymindedandwhichcouldnotbeexecuted。Thefederaljudgesopenedcourtinalandfilledwithcrimeandviolenceandsatasholidayspectaclesforinsolentcrowdstogapeat——fortherewasnothingtotry，nothingtodonothingonthedockets！AndifaGentilebroughtasuit，theMormonjurywoulddojustasitpleasedaboutbringinginaverdict，andwhenthejudgmentofthecourtwasrenderednoMormoncaredforitandnoofficercouldexecuteit。OurPresidentsshippedonecargoofofficialsafteranothertoUtah，buttheresultwasalwaysthesame——theysatinablightforawhiletheyfairlyfeastedonscowlsandinsultsdaybyday，theysaweveryattempttodotheirofficialdutiesfinditsrewardindarkeranddarkerlooks，andinsecretthreatsandwarningsofamoreandmoredismalnature——andatlasttheyeithersuccumbedandbecamedespisedtoolsandtoysoftheMormons，orgotscaredanddiscomfortedbeyondallenduranceandlefttheTerritory。Ifabraveofficerkeptoncourageouslytillhispluckwasproven，somepliantBuchananorPiercewouldremovehimandappointastickinhisplace。
In1857GeneralHarneycameverynearbeingappointedGovernorofUtah。
AndsoitcameverynearbeingHarneygovernorandCradlebaughjudge！——
twomenwhoneverhadanyideaoffearfurtherthanthesortofmurkycomprehensionofitwhichtheywereenabledtogatherfromthedictionary。Simply(iffornothingelse)forthevarietytheywouldhavemadeinarathermonotonoushistoryofFederalservilityandhelplessness，itisapitytheywerenotfatedtoholdofficetogetherinUtah。
UptothedateofourvisittoUtah，suchhadbeentheTerritorialrecord。TheTerritorialgovernmentestablishedtherehadbeenahopelessfailure，andBrighamYoungwastheonlyrealpowerintheland。Hewasanabsolutemonarch——amonarchwhodefiedourPresident——amonarchwholaughedatourarmieswhentheycampedabouthiscapital——amonarchwhoreceivedwithoutemotionthenewsthattheaugustCongressoftheUnitedStateshadenactedasolemnlawagainstpolygamy，andthenwentforthcalmlyandmarriedtwenty-fiveorthirtymorewives。
B。
THEMOUNTAINMEADOWSMASSACRE。
ThepersecutionswhichtheMormonssufferedsolong——andwhichtheyconsidertheystillsufferinnotbeingallowedtogovernthemselves——
theyhaveendeavoredandarestillendeavoringtorepay。Thenowalmostforgotten“MountainMeadowsmassacre“wastheirwork。Itwasveryfamousinitsday。ThewholeUnitedStatesrangwithitshorrors。Afewitemswillrefreshthereader\'smemory。AgreatemigranttrainfromMissouriandArkansaspassedthroughSaltLakeCityandafewdisaffectedMormonsjoineditforthesakeofthestrongprotectionitaffordedfortheirescape。InthatmatterlaysufficientcauseforhotretaliationbytheMormonchiefs。Besides，theseonehundredandforty-fiveoronehundredandfiftyunsuspectingemigrantsbeinginpartfromArkansas，whereanotedMormonmissionaryhadlatelybeenkilled，andinpartfromMissouri，aStaterememberedwithexecrationsasabitterpersecutorofthesaintswhentheywerefewandpoorandfriendless，hereweresubstantialadditionalgroundsforlackofloveforthesewayfarers。
Andfinally，thistrainwasrich，veryrichincattle，horses，mulesandotherproperty——andhowcouldtheMormonsconsistentlykeepuptheircovetedresemblancetotheIsraelitishtribesandnotseizethe“spoil“
ofanenemywhentheLordhadsomanifestly“delivereditintotheirhand?“
Wherefore，accordingtoMrs。C。V。Waite\'sentertainingbook，“TheMormonProphet，“ittranspiredthat——
“A\'revelation\'fromBrighamYoung，asGreatGrandArcheeorGod，wasdispatchedtoPresidentJ。C。Haight，BishopHigbeeandJ。D。Lee(adoptedsonofBrigham)，commandingthemtoraisealltheforcestheycouldmusterandtrust，followthosecursedGentiles(soreadtherevelation)，attackthemdisguisedasIndians，andwiththearrowsoftheAlmightymakeacleansweepofthem，andleavenonetotellthetale；andiftheyneededanyassistancetheywerecommandedtohiretheIndiansastheirallies，promisingthemashareofthebooty。Theyweretobeneitherslothfulnornegligentintheirduty，andtobepunctualinsendingtheteamsbacktohimbeforewintersetin，forthiswasthemandateofAlmightyGod。”
Thecommandofthe“revelation“wasfaithfullyobeyed。AlargepartyofMormons，paintedandtrickedoutasIndians，overtookthetrainofemigrantwagonssomethreehundredmilessouthofSaltLakeCity，andmadeanattack。Buttheemigrantsthrewupearthworks，madefortressesoftheirwagonsanddefendedthemselvesgallantlyandsuccessfullyforfivedays！YourMissouriorArkansasgentlemanisnotmuchafraidofthesortofscurvyapologiesfor“Indians“whichthesouthernpartofUtahaffords。Hewouldstandupandfightfivehundredofthem。
AttheendofthefivedaystheMormonstriedmilitarystrategy。Theyretiredtotheupperendofthe“Meadows，“resumedcivilizedapparel，washedofftheirpaint，andthen，heavilyarmed，drovedowninwagonstothebeleagueredemigrants，bearingaflagoftruce！Whentheemigrantssawwhitemencomingtheythrewdowntheirgunsandwelcomedthemwithcheeraftercheer！And，allunconsciousofthepoetryofit，nodoubt，theyliftedalittlechildaloft，dressedinwhite，inanswertotheflagoftruce！
Theleadersofthetimelywhite“deliverers“werePresidentHaightandBishopJohnD。Lee，oftheMormonChurch。Mr。Cradlebaugh，whoservedatermasaFederalJudgeinUtahandafterwardwassenttoCongressfromNevada，tellsinaspeechdeliveredinCongresshowtheseleadersnextproceeded:
“TheyprofessedtobeongoodtermswiththeIndians，andrepresentedthemasbeingverymad。TheyalsoproposedtointercedeandsettlethematterwiththeIndians。Afterseveralhoursparleythey，having(apparently)visitedtheIndians，gavetheultimatumofthesavages；
whichwas，thattheemigrantsshouldmarchoutoftheircamp，leavingeverythingbehindthem，eventheirguns。ItwaspromisedbytheMormonbishopsthattheywouldbringaforceandguardtheemigrantsbacktothesettlements。Thetermswereagreedto，theemigrantsbeingdesirousofsavingthelivesoftheirfamilies。TheMormonsretired，andsubsequentlyappearedwiththirtyorfortyarmedmen。Theemigrantsweremarchedout，thewomenandchildreninfrontandthemenbehind，theMormonguardbeingintherear。Whentheyhadmarchedinthiswayaboutamile，atagivensignaltheslaughtercommenced。Themenwerealmostallshotdownatthefirstfirefromtheguard。Twoonlyescaped，whofledtothedesert，andwerefollowedonehundredandfiftymilesbeforetheywereovertakenandslaughtered。Thewomenandchildrenranon，twoorthreehundredyardsfurther，whentheywereovertakenandwiththeaidoftheIndianstheywereslaughtered。Seventeenindividualsonly，ofalltheemigrantparty，werespared，andtheywerelittlechildren，theeldestofthembeingonlysevenyearsold。Thus，onthe10thdayofSeptember，1857，wasconsummatedoneofthemostcruel，cowardlyandbloodymurdersknowninourhistory。”
ThenumberofpersonsbutcheredbytheMormonsonthisoccasionwasonehundredandtwenty。
Withunheard-oftemerityJudgeCradlebaughopenedhiscourtandproceededtomakeMormondomanswerforthemassacre。Andwhataspectacleitmusthavebeentoseethisgrimveteran，solitaryandaloneinhisprideandhispluck，gloweringdownonhisMormonjuryandMormonauditory，deridingthembyturns，andbyturns“breathingthreateningsandslaughter！“
AneditorialintheTerritorialEnterpriseofthatdaysaysofhimandoftheoccasion:
“HespokeandactedwiththefearlessnessandresolutionofaJackson；
butthejuryfailedtoindict，orevenreportonthecharges，whilethreatsofviolencewereheardineveryquarter，andanattackontheU。S。troopsintimated，ifhepersistedinhiscourse。
“Findingthatnothingcouldbedonewiththejuries，theyweredischargedwithascathingrebukefromthejudge。Andthen，sittingasacommittingmagistrate，hecommencedhistaskalone。Heexaminedwitnesses，madearrestsineveryquarter，andcreatedaconsternationinthecampsofthesaintsgreaterthananytheyhadeverwitnessedbefore，sinceMormondomwasborn。Atlastaccountsterrifiedeldersandbishopsweredecampingtosavetheirnecks；anddevelopmentsofthemoststarlingcharacterwerebeingmade，implicatingthehighestChurchdignitariesinthemanymurdersandrobberiescommittedupontheGentilesduringthepasteightyears。”
HadHarneybeenGovernor，Cradlebaughwouldhavebeensupportedinhiswork，andtheabsoluteproofsadducedbyhimofMormonguiltinthismassacreandinanumberofpreviousmurders，wouldhaveconferredgratuitouscoffinsuponcertaincitizens，togetherwithoccasiontousethem。ButCummingwastheFederalGovernor，andhe，underacuriouspretenseofimpartiality，soughttoscreentheMormonsfromthedemandsofjustice。OnoneoccasionheevenwentsofarastopublishhisprotestagainsttheuseoftheU。S。troopsinaidofCradlebaugh\'sproceedings。
Mrs。C。V。Waiteclosesherinterestingdetailofthegreatmassacrewiththefollowingremarkandaccompanyingsummaryofthetestimony——andthesummaryisconcise，accurateandreliable:
“ForthebenefitofthosewhomaystillbedisposedtodoubttheguiltofYoungandhisMormonsinthistransaction，thetestimonyisherecollatedandcircumstancesgivenwhichgonotmerelytoimplicatebuttofastenconvictionuponthemby\'confirmationsstrongasproofsofHolyWrit:\'
“1。TheevidenceofMormonsthemselves，engagedintheaffair，asshownbythestatementsofJudgeCradlebaughandDeputyU。S。MarshallRodgers。
“2。ThefailureofBrighamYoungtoembodyanyaccountofitinhisReportasSuperintendentofIndianAffairs。Alsohisfailuretomakeanyallusiontoitwhateverfromthepulpit，untilseveralyearsaftertheoccurrence“3。TheflighttothemountainsofmenhighinauthorityintheMormonChurchandState，whenthisaffairwasbroughttotheordealofajudicialinvestigation。
“4。ThefailureoftheDeseretNews，theChurchorgan，andtheonlypaperthenpublishedintheTerritory，tonoticethemassacreuntilseveralmonthsafterward，andthenonlytodenythatMormonswereengagedinit。
“5。Thetestimonyofthechildrensavedfromthemassacre。
“6。ThechildrenandthepropertyoftheemigrantsfoundinpossessionoftheMormons，andthatpossessiontracedbacktotheverydayafterthemassacre。
“7。ThestatementsofIndiansintheneighborhoodofthesceneofthemassacre:thesestatementsareshown，notonlybyCradlebaughandRodgers，butbyanumberofmilitaryofficers，andbyJ。Forney，whowas，in1859，SuperintendentofIndianAffairsfortheTerritory。ToalltheseweresuchstatementsfreelyandfrequentlymadebytheIndians。
“8。ThetestimonyofR。P。Campbell，Capt。2dDragoons，whowassentintheSpringof1859toSantaClara，toprotecttravelersontheroadtoCaliforniaandtoinquireintoIndiandepredations。”
C。
CONCERNINGAFRIGHTFULASSASSINATIONTHATWASNEVERCONSUMMATED
Ifevertherewasaharmlessman，itisConradWiegand，ofGoldHill，Nevada。Ifevertherewasagentlespiritthatthoughtitselfunfiredgunpowderandlatentruin，itisConradWiegand。Ifevertherewasanoysterthatfancieditselfawhale；orajack-o\'lantern，confinedtoaswamp，thatfancieditselfaplanetwithabillion-mileorbit；orasummerzephyrthatdeemeditselfahurricane，itisConradWiegand。
Therefore，whatwonderisitthatwhenhesaysathing，hethinkstheworldlistens；thatwhenhedoesathingtheworldstandsstilltolook；
andthatwhenhesuffers，thereisaconvulsionofnature?WhenImetConrad，hewas“SuperintendentoftheGoldHillAssayOffice“——andhewasnotonlyitsSuperintendent，butitsentireforce。Andhewasastreetpreacher，too，withamongrelreligionofhisowninvention，wherebyheexpectedtoregeneratetheuniverse。Thiswasyearsago。Herelatterlyhehasenteredjournalism；andhisjournalismiswhatitmightbeexpectedtobe:colossaltoear，butpigmytotheeye。Itisextravagantgrandiloquenceconfinedtoanewspaperaboutthesizeofadoublelettersheet。Hedoubtlessedits，setsthetype，andprintshispaper，allalone；buthedelightstospeakoftheconcernasifitoccupiesablockandemploysathousandmen。
[Somethinglessthantwoyearsago，Conradassailedseveralpeoplemercilesslyinhislittle“People\'sTribune，“andgothimselfintotrouble。Straightwayheairstheaffairinthe“TerritorialEnterprise，“
inacommunicationoverhisownsignature，andIproposetoreproduceithere，inallitsnativesimplicityandmorethanhumancandor。Longasitis，itiswellworthreading，foritistherichestspecimenofjournalisticliteraturethehistoryofAmericacanfurnish，perhaps:]
FromtheTerritorialEnterprise，Jan。20，1870。
SEEMINGPLOTFORASSASSINATIONMISCARRIED。
TOTHEEDITOROFTHEENTERPRISE:Monthsago，whenMr。SutroincidentallyexposedminingmanagementontheComstock，andamongothersrousedmetoprotestagainstitscontinuance，ingreatkindnessyouwarnedmethatanyattemptbypublications，bypublicmeetingsandbylegislativeaction，aimedatthecorrectionofchronicminingevilsinStoreyCounty，mustentailuponme(a)businessruin，(b)theburdenofallitscosts，(c)
personalviolence，andifmypurposewerepersistedin，then(d)
assassination，andafterallnothingwouldbeeffected。
