CHAPTERXXIX。
IKNOWTHATITDOESN\'TMATTERMUCHTOGODWHATAMANTHINKSABOUT
HIMSELFORHISSOUL。
ForthenexthourandahalftheRev。GeorgeHollandhadanopportunityofconsideringhispositionasaclergymanoftheChurchofEngland，andasonewhosechiefdesirewastoadvancetheinterestsoftheChurch。Hisbishophadassumedthathehadbeensingle-mindedinhisaims——thathissoleobjectinwritingthatbookandthatpaperhadbeentocurethecomplaintfromwhichtheoldChurchwassuffering。HislordshiphaddonehimjusticewherePhyllishaddonehimagrossinjustice。WhatwouldPhyllishavesaidhewondered，ifshehadheardthatconcession，madenotunderpressure，butvoluntarilybyprobablythehighestauthorityintheworld，tohis，GeorgeHolland\'s，singlenessofaim?
Butitwassolikeagirltojumpatconclusions——toassumethathehadbeenactuatedbyvanityinallthathehadjustdone；thathewasdesirousonlyofgettingpeopletotalkabouthim——beingregardlesswhethertheyspokewellofhimorill。Heonlywishedthatshecouldhaveheardthebishop。Hefeltasamanfeelswhosecharacterhasjustbeenclearedinacourtoflawfromanaspersionthathasrestedonitforsometime。HewonderedifthattrulynoblemanwhomhewasprivilegedtocallhisFatherinGod，wouldhaveanyobjectiontogivehimatestimonialtotheeffectthatinhisopinion，——theopinionofhisFatherinGod，——therewasnofoundationfortheaccusationagainsthimandhissinglenessofaim。
Butthebishopknewthatitwasnotvanitywhichhadurgedhimtowritewhathehadwritten。Thebishopunderstoodmen。
Hewasright；thebishopunderstoodmensowellastobeabletoproduceinafewwordsuponthemanwhohadjustvisitedthepalace，theimpressionthathebelievedthatthatmanhadbeenimpelledbyastrongsenseofdutywithoutatouchofvanity。Heunderstoodmansowellastocausethatsamevisitorofhistomakearesolutionneveragaintopublishanythinginthesamestrainasthe/ZeitGeist/
article，withoutfirstconsultingwiththebishop。GeorgeHollandhadpulledthebellatthepalacegateswiththehandofaLuther；buthehadleftthepresenceofthebishopwiththestepofaFrancisofAssisi。Hefeltthatanyonewhowouldvoluntarilygivepaintosogentleamanasthebishopcouldonlybeabrute。Heevenfeltthatthebishophadshownhimselftobehis，GeorgeHolland\'ssuperiorinjudgmentandinthemethodswhichheemployed。Thebishopwasnotanoverratedman。
Forafullhourinthesilenceandsolitudeofthereadingroomofhisclubhereflectedupontheexcellenceofthebishop，anditwaswithasignofregretthatherosetokeephisotherappointment。Hewouldhavelikedtocontinueforanotherhourortwodoingjusticetothatgoodmanoutofwhosepresencehehadcome。
Mr。Linton\'sofficewasnotquiteintheCity。TwentyminutesdrivebroughtGeorgeHollandintotheprivateroomofEllaLinton\'shusband。
“Itisverygoodofyoutocometome，Mr。Holland，“saidStephen。
“Thereseemstobeageneralideathataclergymanshouldbeatthebeckandcallofeveryonewhohasawhimto——whatdotheycallitinIreland——tomakehissoul?Thathasneverbeenmyopinion；IhavenevergivenanytroubletoaclergymansinceIwasatschool。”
“Itistheprivilegeofaministertobeaservant，“saidtheRev。
GeorgeHolland。
“Weweretaughtthatatschool——inconnectionwiththeLatinverb/ministro/，“saidMr。Linton。“Well，Mr。Holland，Iamgladthatyoutakesuchaviewofyourcalling，forIamanxiousthatyoushoulddomeagreatservice。”
Hepaused。
GeorgeHollandbenthishead。HewonderedifMr。Lintonwishedtointrusthimwiththedutyofobservinghiswife。
“Thefactis，Mr。Holland，“resumedStephenLinton，“Ihavereadyourbookandyourpaperinthatreview。Thewayyoudealwithadifficultquestionhasfilledmewithadmiration。Youwill，Ineedscarcelysay，beoutsidetheChurchbeforelong。”
“Icannotallowyoutoassumethat，Mr。Linton，“saidGeorgegravely。
“IshouldbesorrytoleavetheChurch。IcannotseethatmyleavingitisthelogicalsequenceofanythingthatIhaveyetwritten。Myaimis，asdoubtlessyouhaveperceived，tobringaboutsuchreasonableand，afterall，notradicalchangesintheChurchsystemasshallmakeherinthefutureamorepotentagencyforgoodthanshehaseveryetbeen，splendidthoughherservicestohumanityhavebeen。”
“StillyouwillfindyourselfoutsidethewallsofyourChurch，Mr。
Holland。AndyouwillprobablyadoptthecoursewhichothersonsoftheChurchhavethoughtnecessarytopursuewhenthestubbornoldthingrefusedtobereformed。”
“IfyousuggestthatIshallbecomeaDissenter，Mr。Linton——“
“Isuggestnothingofthesort，thoughyoudissentalreadyfromagoodmanyofthefundamentalpracticesoftheChurch，ifImaybepermittedtheexpression。Now，Ishouldliketomakeaprovisionforyourfuture，Mr。Holland。”
“Mydearsir，suchapropositionseemstometobeamostextraordinaryone。Ihopeyouwillnotthinkmerudeinsayingsomuch。Ihavenotsuggested，Mr。Linton，asotherclergymenmight，thatyoumeananaffronttome，butIdon\'tthinkthatanythingwouldbegainedbyprolonging——“
“Permitmetocontinue，andperhapsyoumaygetaglimmerofgain。Mr。
Holland，Iamwhatpeopleusuallytermadoomedman。SofarasIcangatherIhaveonlyaboutsixmonthslongertolive。”
“MercifulHeaven！“
“PerhapsitismercifulonthepartofHeaventodestroyamanwhenhehasreachedtheageofforty。We\'llnotgointothatquestionjustnow。IwaswarnedbyadoctortwoyearsagothatIhadnotlongtolive。Itappearsthatmyheartwasneverreallyaheart——thatistosay，itmayhavehaditsaffections，itsemotions，itspassions，butpneumaticallyitisafailure；itwasneverablood-pump。SixmonthsagoIwasexaminedbythegreatestauthorityinEurope，andhepronouncedmydoom。ThreedaysagoIwenttotheleadingspecialistinLondon，andhetoldmeImightwithcarelivesixmonthslonger。”
“MydearMr。Linton，withwhatwordscanIexpresstoyoumydeepfeelingforyou?“
GeorgeHollandspokeafteraprolongedpause，duringwhichhestaredatthewhite-facedmanbeforehim。Asmilewasuponthatwhiteface。
Georgewasdeeplyaffected。Heseemedtohavesteppedoutofaworldofvisions——aworldthathadavisionaryChurch，visionarypreachers，visionarydoctrines——allunsubstantialaswords，whicharebutbreath——intoaworldofrealities——suchrealitiesaslifeanddeathand——
Ah，therewerenootherrealitiesinexistencebutthetwo:lifeanddeath。
AndMr。Lintoncontinuedsmiling。
“YoumaygatherthatIwrotetoyouinorderthatyoumayhelpmetomakemysoul。Whatacapitalphrase！Ididn\'tdothat，Mr。Holland。I
haveneverbeensanguineaboutmanandhissoul。Iknowthatitdoesn\'tmattermuchtoGodwhatamanthinksabouthimselforhissoul。Itreallydoesn\'tmattermuchwhetherhebelievesornotthathehasasoul:GodisthePrincipleofRight——theFountainofJustice，andI\'mwillingtotrustmyselftoGod。”
“Thatistruereligion，Mr。Linton，“saidtheclergyman。
“ButIagreewiththosepeoplewhothinkthattheworldcannotgetonwithoutaChurch。Now，IamsanguineenoughtobelievethataChurchfoundedonyourideasofwhatisorthodoxwouldbethemeansofdoingagreatdealofgood。Itwoulddoagreatdealofgoodtomywife，tostartwith。Shedoesnotknowthatsheissosoontobeawidow。Wereshetoknow，thelastmonthsofmylifewouldbemiserabletobothofus。Ihavenoticedwithsomepain，orshouldIsayamusement?perhapsthatwordwouldbethebetter——Ihavenoticed，Isay，thatherlifeisoneofcompleteaimlessness，andthat，therefore，sheistemptedtothinktoomuchaboutherself。Sheisalsotemptedtohavelongingsfor——well，fortemptation。Ah，sheisawomanandtemptationisinthewayofwomen。/Quiparled\'amour，faitl\'amour/:temptationcomestothewomanwhothinksaboutbeingtempted。Now，IwanttogivehersomethingtothinkaboutthatshallleadheroutofthethoughtsoftemptationwhichIsupposecomenaturallytoadaughterofEve——thefirstwomanwhothoughtabouttemptationandwasthereforetempted。Mywifeisaperfectlygoodwoman，andyouwillbesurprisedtofindoutwhenIamdeadhowfondofmeshewas——shewillbethemostsurprisedofall。Butsheisawoman。IfshewerenotsomuchofawomanIdon\'tsupposeIshouldeverhavecaredsomuchforherasIdo。Icaredsomuchforher，Mr。Holland，thatIremainedawayfromherinParisforthreemonthssothatImightschoolmyselftomyfate，makingnosignthatwouldleadhertosuspectthetruth。Whyshouldshehavesixmonths\'additionalmisery?Ihavestrayed。TheChurch。Iwanttogivemywifeanaiminlife；tomakeherfeelthatsheisdoingsomethingworthy——tokeepherfromthinkingoflessworthythings。Now，IthinkyouwillagreewithmethatthereisnothingwomenarereallysofondofasaChurchofsomesort。Tobedevoutisasmuchapartofawoman\'sdispositionastolove——thepassionofdevoutnesssometimestakestheplaceofthepassionofloveinhernature。Now，IwanttogiveherthisideaofaChurchtoworkoutwhenIamdead。Iwantyoutocarryoutasjointtrusteewithheryourtheoriesinregardtotheritual，theart，thesermon；andforthispurposeIshouldofcourseprovideanampleendowment——saythreeorfourthousandayear；
anythingyoumaysuggest:Ishallleaveagreatdealofmoneybehindme。”
“Yourprojectstartlesme，Mr。Linton，“saidGeorgeHolland。“Itstartlesmeasgreatlyasthefirstrevelationyoumadetomedid。
Theymaybemistaken——thedoctors；Ihaveknowncaseswherethehighestauthoritieswereludicrouslyinerror。Letushopethat。”
“Well，wemayhope；ImaylivelongenoughtolaythefoundationstoneoftheChurchmyself。ButIammostanxiousthatyoushouldgivethewholematteryourearnestattention。”
“Iamquitedazed。DoyousuggestthatIshouldleavetheChurchofEngland?“
“Bynomeans。ThatisaquestionwhichIleaveentirelytoyourowndecision。Myownideaisthatyouwouldlikeafreehand。YouwillhavetoleavetheChurchsoonerorlater。Amanwithyouradvancedideascannotregulateyourpacetothatofanoldwoman。IntwentyyearstheChurchwillthinkpreciselyasyouthinkto-day。ThatisthewaywiththeChurch。Itopposeseverythinginthewayofaninnovation。Youstatedthecaseveryfairlyinyourpaper。TheChurchopposeseverydiscoveryandeverynewthingaslongaspossible。Itthenonlyacceptsgrudginglywhatallcivilizationhasacceptedcordially。Oh，yes，you\'llfinditimpossibletoremainintheChurch，Mr。Holland。\'Crabbedageandyouth，\'youknow。”
“IshouldpartfromtheChurchwiththegreatestreluctance，Mr。
Linton。”
“Thendon\'tpartfromit，onlydon\'tplaceyourselfinitspower。
Don\'tbebeholdentoitforyourincome。Don\'tgototheheadsoftheChurchfororders。Beyourownmasterandinplainwords，runtheconcernonyourownlines。Thewidowofthefounderwillhavenopowertointerferewithyouinthematterofsucharrangements。”
“Ishallhavetogivethematteragooddealofthought。Ishouldnaturallyhavetoreformagooddealoftheritual。”
“Naturally。Theexistingritualisonlyacompromise。Andasforthehymnswhicharesung，whyisitnecessaryforthemtobedoggerelbeforetheyaredevotional?“
“Thehymnsareforthemostpartdoggerel。Weshouldhaveafirst-ratechoirandanthems——notnecessarilytakenfromtheBible。WhyshouldnotShaksperebesunginchurches——Shakspere\'sdivinepoetryinsteadofthenonsense-rhymesthatpeoplecallhymns?ShakspereandMilton；
ShelleyIwouldnotdebar；Wordsworth\'ssonnets。Buttheschemewillrequireagreatdealofthought。”
“Agreatdeal；thatiswhyIleaveitinyourhands。Youareathinkingman——youarenotafraidoftradition。”
“Tradition——tradition！therutsmadeintheroadbythevehiclesthathavepassedoveritinyearsgoneby！“
“TheroadtotheChurchissadlyinneedofmacadamizing，Mr。Holland——or，betterstill，asphalting。Makeabicycleroadofit，andyouareallright。Now，comewithmetomyclubandhavelunch。We\'lltalknomorejustnowaboutthismatter。”
Theywentouttogether。
CHAPTERXXX。
THEREISNOONEILIKEBETTERTHANPHYLLIS。
PhyllisAyrtonhadspentaconsiderabletimeponderingoverthatproblemofhowbesttosaveamanandawomanfromdestruction——
social，perhaps；eternal，forcertain。Shefeltthatithadbeenlaiduponhertosavethemboth，andsherememberedthecaseofoneJonah，aprophet，who，inendeavoringtoescapefromthedisagreeabledutywithwhichhehadbeenintrusted，hadhadanexperiencethatwaspracticallyunique，evenamongprophets。Shewouldnottrytoevadeherresponsibilityinthismatter。
AfewdaysafterHerbertCourtlandhadwitnessedbythesideofEllatherepresentationof“Carmen，“hehadmetPhyllisatanAtHome。Hehadseenherinthedistancethroughavistaofcrowdedrooms，andhadcrushedhiswaytoherside。Hecouldscarcelyfailtoseethelittlelightthatcametoherfaceassheputoutherhandtohim，norcouldhercompanionofthemoment——hewasoneofthecomingmeninscience，consequentlylikemostcomingmen，hehadbeenforcedintoaprominentplaceinthedrawingroom——failtoperceivethathisfarewellmomentwiththatprettyMissAyrtonhadcome。ShepracticallyturnedherbackuponhimwhenHerbertCourtlandcameup。
Forsomemomentstheychattedtogether，andthenitoccurredtohimthatshemightlikesomeicedcoffee。Hissurmiseprovedcorrect，andastherewasatthatmomentastreamofpeopleendeavoringtoavoidtheentertainmentofthehigh-classpianoforteplayerwhichwasthreatenedinaneighboringapartment，Phyllisandhercompanionhadnotroubleinslippingasidefromthepanic-strickenpeopleintothetearoom。
Itwasasultryday，andtheFrenchwindowsoftheroomwereopen。ItwasPhylliswhodiscoveredthattherewasanarrowveranda，withiron-
workcoveredwithcreepers，runninghalfwayroundthehousefromwindowtowindow；andwhenhesuggestedtoherthattheymightdrinktheircoffeeonthisveranda，shehailedthesuggestionasaveryhappyone。Howdiditcomethatnoneoftherestofthepeoplehadthoughtofthat?shewondered。
Inanotherinstanttheywerestandingtogetheratthespacebetweenthewindowsoutside，thelong-leavedcreepersminglingwiththedecorationsofherhat，andmakingaveryeffectivebackgroundforhiswell-shapedhead。
Forthenexthalf-hourpeoplewereintermittentlycomingtooneofthewindows，puttingtheirheadsoutandthenturningaway，thegirlswithgentlelittlepursingsofthemouthandotherformsthatthesneerfeminineassumes；themenwithwinksandanoccasionalchuckle，suggestiveofanexchangeofconfidencetoodeepforwords。
Onewomanhadpokedherheadout——itwasgrayattherootsandgoldenatthetips——andaskedhercompanioninavoicethathadalargecircumferencewherewasMrs。Linton。
Now，HerbertCourtlandhadnotlivedsolongfarfromthebusyhauntsofmen(white)astobeutterlyignorantofthefactthatnoyoungwomanbutonewhoisdisposedtobequitefriendlywithaman，wouldadoptsuchasuggestionashehadmadetoher，andspendhalfanhourdrinkinghalfacupoficedcoffeebyhissideinthatparticularplace。Theparticularplacemighthaveaccommodatedsixpersons；butheknew，andheknewthatsheknewalso，thatitwasoneoftheunwrittenlawsofgoodsocietythatsuchparticularplacesareovercrowdedifoccupiedbythreepersons。Itwasonthisaccounttheoldmenandmaidensandtheyoungmenandmatrons——thatishowtheypairthemselvesnowadays——hadavoidedtheverandasocarefully，refusingtocontributetoitscongestionasaplaceofresort。
HerbertCourtlandcouldnotbutfeelthatPhyllisintendedtobefriendlywithhim——evenattheriskofbeingwithinaudibledistanceofthestrongmanwhowasfightingaduel/aoutrance/withagrandpiano；andashedesiredtobeonfriendlytermswithagirlinwhomhewasgreatlyinterested，hewasverymuchpleasedtofindhershowingnodispositiontoreturntothetearoom，oranyotherroom，untilquitehalfanhourhadgonebyverypleasantly。Andthenshedidsowithastart:thestartofagirlwhosuddenlyremembersaduty——
andregretsit。
Thathadpleasedhimgreatly；hefeltittoberatheratriumphforhimthatbyhissideshehadnotonlyforgottenherdutybutwasgladshehadforgottenit。
“Oh，yes！“shesaid，inanswertohisquestion，“Ihavetwootherplacestogoto。I\'msosorry。”
“Sorrythatyourememberedthem?“hehadsuggested。
Sheshookherheadsmiling。
“Whatwouldhappenif——Ihadcontinuedforgettingthem?“sheasked。
“ThatisthemostinterestingquestionIhaveheardinsometime。Whynottrytocontinueforgettingthem?“
“I\'mtoogreatacoward，“shereplied，puttingoutherhandtohim，fornowhervictoriahaddrawnupandthefootmanwasstandingreadytoopenthedoor。
“Good-by，“saidhe。
“Oh，no！only/aurevoir/，“shemurmured。
“Withallmyheart——/aurevoir/atTheMooring，“saidhe。
That/aurevoir/hadreferencetothecircumstancethattheyweretobefellow-guestsatMrs。Linton\'shouseatHurley-on-Thames，knownasTheMooring。Phyllishadtoldhimthatshewasabouttopaythatvisit，andwhenhesaid:
“Why，Iamgoingaswell，“shehadraisedhereyestohisface，anunmistakablelookofpleasureonherown，asshecried:
“Iamsoglad！Whendoyougo?“
“OnThursday。”
“IgoonTuesday——twodayssooner。”
Thetoneinwhichshespokemadehimfeelthatshehadsaid:
“WhatonearthshallIdoduringthosedrearytwodays?“orelsehehadbecomesingularlyconceited。
Butevenifshehadactuallysaidthosewordstheywouldnothavemadehimfeelundulyvain。Hereflecteduponthefactwhichhehadmorethanoncepreviouslynoticed——namely，thatthegirl，thoughwiseasbecameadaughterofaMemberofParliamenttobe(consideringthatshehadtoprevent，ordoherbesttoprevent，herfatherfrommakingafoolofhimself)，wasinmanyrespectsasinnocentandasnaturalasagirlshouldbe。Shehadonlyspokennaturallywhenshehadsaidthatshewasgladhewastobeoftheriversideparty——whenshehadimpliedbyhertonethatshewassorrythattwowholedayswereboundtopassbeforeheshouldarrive。
Whatwasthereinallthatshehadsaid，tomakesuchamanashevain——inallthatshehadimplied?Ifshehadbeensixyearsoldinsteadoftwenty-three，shewouldprobablyhavetoldhimthatshelovedhim。
Theinnocenceofthechildwouldhavemadeheroutspoken；butwouldhisvanityhavebeenfosteredbytheconfession?Itwasthecharmingnaturalnessofthegirlthathadcausedhertospeakoutwhatitwasbutnaturalsheshouldfeel。Sheandhehadlikedeachotherfromthefirst，anditwasquitenaturalthatsheshouldbegladtoseehimatHurley。
Thatwaswhathethoughtashestrolledtohisroomspreparatorytodressingforsomefunctionofthenight。Heflatteredhimselfthathewasabletolookatanysituationstraightintheface，sotospeak。
Heflatteredhimselfthathewasnotamantobeledawaybyvanity。
Hewas，asarule，onverygoodtermswithhimself，buthewasratherinclinedtoundervaluethanoverestimatethedistinctionwhichheenjoyedamonghisfellow-men。AndtheresultofhisdueconsiderationofhislastmeetingwithPhylliswastomakehimfeelthathehadnevermetagirlwhowasquitesonice；buthealsofeltthat，ifheweretoassumefromthegladnesswhichshehadmanifestednotmerelyatbeingwithhimthatday，butattheprospectofmeetinghimuptheriver，thathehadmadeanimpressionuponherheart，hewouldbeassumingtoomuch。
Butallthesame，hecouldnothelpwishingthatEllahadaskedhimtogotoTheMooringonTuesdayratherthanThursday；andhefeltwhenTuesdayarrivedthatthehotanddustytownwithitsceaselessrollofgloomyfestivitiescontainednothingforhimthathewouldnotwillinglypartwithalinexchangeforanhourortwobesidethestillwatersoftheThamesintheneighborhoodofHurley。
StephenLintonhadboughtTheMooringwhenhiswifehadtakenafancytoitthepreviousyear，whenshehadhadanattackofthatriverfeverwhichsoonerorlatertakesholduponLondoners，makingthemreadytosellalltheirpossessionsandencamponthebanksoftheThames。Ithadbeenagreatdelighttohertofurnishthatlovelyoldhouseaccordingtohertaste，makingeachroomapictureofconsistencyindecorationandfurniture，andithadbeenagreatdelighttohertowatchthegardenbeinglaidoutafterthemostperfecteighteenth-centurypattern，withitsgreenterracesandclippedhedges。Shehadgonesofarastoliveinthehouseforcloseuponawholefortnightthepreviousautumn。Sincethattimethecaretakerhadfounditatrifletoocoldinthewinterandtoohotinthesummer，hehadcomplainedtoMrs。Linton。Butsheknewthatthereisnopleasingcaretakers；shehadnotbeenputoutoffavorwiththeplace；shehopedtospendatleastaweekunderitsroofbeforetheendoftheseason，andperhapsanotherweekbeforestartingforScotlandintheautumn。
Shesuddenlycametotheconclusiononedaythatherhusbandwasnotlookingwell——aconclusionwhichwascertainlywellfounded。Shedeclaredthatafewdaysuptheriverwaspreciselywhatwouldrestorehimtorobusthealth。(Buthereitistobefearedherjudgmentwasinerror。)HehadbeenthinkingtoomuchaboutthenewdevelopmentofthemineandthepropertysurroundingitatTaragondaCreek。Whatdidhisreceivingacoupleofhundredthousandpoundsmatterifhishealthwerejeopardized，sheinquiredofhimoneday，wearingtheanxiousfaceoftheGoodWife。
Hehadsmiledthatcurioussmileofhis，——itwasbecomingmorecuriouseveryday，——andhadsaid:
“What，indeed！“
“Uptheriverweshallgo，andI\'llgetPhyllistocomewithustoamuseyou——youknowthatyoulikePhyllis，“hiswifecried。
“ThereisnooneIlikebetterthanPhyllis，“hehadsaid。
Andsothematterhadbeensettled。
Butduringthedayortwothatfollowedthissettlement，Ellacameuponseveralofherfriendswhoshefoundwerelookingatriflefaggedthroughthepressureoftheseason，andshepromptlyinvitedthemtoTheMooring，sothatshehadapartyofcloseuponadozenpersonscomingtoherhouse——someforaday，someforaslongasthreedays，commencingwiththeTuesdaywhensheandPhylliswentofftogether。
Mr。Lintonhadpromisedtojointhepartytowardtheendoftheweek。
AndthatwashowitcameaboutthatHerbertCourtlandfoundhimselfdailyadmiringtheclevernessofPhyllisAyrtonwhenshehadthepuntpoleinherhands。Healsoadmiredthegradualtintingofherfairface，throughthebecomingexertionoftakingthepuntupthelovelybackwaterorontotheplacidreachesbeyond。SometimesthepuntcontainedthreeorfourofthepartyinadditiontoHerbert，buttwicehewasalonewithher，andsharedhisadmirationofherwithnoone。
CHAPTERXXXI。
YOUMAYTRUSTMR。COURTLAND。
Mrs。Lintonwasgreatlyamused——shecertainlywassurprised。Thesurpriseswerenatural，buttheamusementwasnotquitelogical。Itwas，however，quitenaturalthatherguests——twoofthemexcepted——
shouldbeamusedwhentheyobservedhersurprise。
Couldanythingbefunnier，oneoftheseguestsaskedanotherinawhisper，thanMrs。Linton\'schagrinonfindingthatherownparticularSirLancelothaddiscoveredanElaineforhimself?
Ofcoursetheguestwhowassoquestionedagreedthatnothingcouldpossiblybefunnier；andtheybothlaughedinunison。Ifpeoplecannotderiveinnocentfunfromwatchingthedisappointmentoftheirhostess，inwhatdirectionmaytheelementsofmirthbefound?
ItwasagreedthatMrs。LintonhadinvitedHerbertCourtlanduptheriverforherownspecialentertainment——thatshehadexpectedhimtopuntheruptheriverhighwaysandthebackwaterby-ways，whilePhyllisAyrtonandtherestofherguestslookedafterthemselves，orlookedafterMrs。Linton\'shusband；butitappearedthatHerbertCourtlandhadnotbeenconsultedonthissubject，theresultbeingthatMrs。Linton\'sarrangementshadbeenthrownintoconfusion。
TheconsensusofopinionamongtheguestswastotheeffectthatMrs。
Linton\'sarrangementshadbeenthrownverymuchawryindeed。Butthentheguestswereamused，andasitisgettingmoreandmoredifficulteveryyeartoamuseone\'sguests，especiallythoseformingahouse-
partyataseasonwhennothinglendsitselftolaughter，Mrs。Lintonwouldhavehadeveryreasontocongratulateherselfuponthesuccessofherparty，hadshebeenmadeawareoftheinnocentmirthwhichprevailedforsomedaysamongherguests。
Shewouldpossiblyhavebeengreatlydivertedalsoattheovershrewdnessofherguests，whowere，ofcourse，quiteignorantoftheconversationregardingPhyllisAyrtonwhichhadimmediatelyprecededherinvitationtoHerberttospendafewdaysontheriver。
ButthoughEllahadundoubtedlygivenHerberttounderstandthatshewasanxioustohavehimatTheMooringwhilePhylliswasthere，inorderthathemighthaveanopportunityofseeingmoreofher，andtoobtainhisagreementthathertheorythatthemanwhotrulylovesawomanshouldbereadytomarrythatwoman\'sdearestfriend，stillitmustbeconfessedthatshewassurprisedtoobservethecourseadoptedbybothPhyllisandHerbert。Shehadexpectedthatallhertactanddiplomacywouldberequiredinordertobringtheyoungpeople——withallthearroganceofthewifeoftwenty-sixyearsofageshealludedtoagirloftwenty-threeandamanofthirty-twoastheyoungpeople——together。
Shehadhadvisionsofsittinginthesternofanout-riggerbuiltfortwo，remonstratingwithHerbert——hewouldofcoursebeattheoars——
forchoosingtopaddleheruptheriverwhileheallowedsomeoftheothermentocarryoffPhyllisin，say，theCanadiancanoe。ApicturehadcomebeforeheroftheaggrievedexpressionuponthefaceofHerbertwhenshewouldinsistonhisgoingoutbythesideofPhyllistofeedthepeacocksontheterracesinthetwilight；andshehadmorethanonceseemedtohearhissighofresignationasshe，withafirmnesswhichshewouldtakepainstodevelop，pleadedaheadachesothatheandPhyllismightplayagameofbilliardstogether。
Shesoonfoundoutthatherimaginationhadnotbeenprophetic。
Immediatelyafterdrinkingtea——itwasafewminutespastsix——ontheeveningofthearrivalofHerbert，shewentoutofdoorstofindhimandgivehimalectureontheneedtherewasforhimtorefrainfromwaitingaboutthegardenfarfromtheotherguestsuntilshe，Ella，couldgoontheriverwithhimforaquietdriftbeforedinner；theotherguestswouldcertainlythinkhimworsethanrude，shewasreadytoexplain。Theexplanationwasnotneeded；shelearnedthatMr。
CourtlandhadjusttakenMissAyrtonoutinoneofthepunts。
Ofcourseshewaspleased——afteranhourbythesideofherhusbandtoperceivethatHerberthadlostnotimeinmakinganefforttoprovetoherhowamplyherecognizedherobjectinaskinghimtoTheMooring。
Butatthesametime，ifpleased，shewasalsosurprised。Atanyrate，shewouldtakegoodcarethathedidnotlapseinhisattentionstoPhyllis；assheknewloversarebuttooapttolapse，especiallywhentheybeginwell。Shewould，forinstance，sendhimfromhersideinthegardenafterdinner，towalkwithPhyllisuptothewoodswhereanightingalewassaidtobeinthehabitofsingingwhenthelovelysummertwilighthadwanedintothelovelysummernight。Withthenightingale\'ssongintheirears，twoordinaryyoungpersonswithnopreconceivedtheoriesonthesubjectoflove，havebeenknown，shewaswellaware，tobecomeloversofthemostaggressivetype。Yes，shehadgreathopesofthenightingale。
So，apparently，hadHerbertCourtland。
Afterdinnertherewassmokinginthegarden，somefeedingofthepeacocksontheterraces，whiletheblackbirdsutteredprotestsagainstsuchanabsorptionbyforeignimmigrantsofthebreadthatwasbakedfornativeconsumption。Thentherewassometalkofthenightingale。Onemansuggestedthatitwasanightingaleattachedtoamusicboxwhichtheenterpriseofalocalinnhadhiredforthesummermonths，sendingamantowinditupeverynightfortheattractionofvisitors。ThenitwasthatMr。Courtlandsaidheknewaspotwhereanightingalehadbeeninthehabitofsinginglongago，whenhisexplorationsoftheThamesRiverhadprecededthoseoftheFlyRiver。
Hefoundthreepersonswhoexpressedtheirwillingnesstoaccepthisguidanceonthespot，ifitwerenottoofaraway。OneofthesewasPhyllis，theothertwowerenotoriouslovers。Offtheystartedwithouthatsorcaps。
ThisEllaheardwhenshereturnedtothegarden，whenceshehadbeencalledawayfortenminutestointerviewamanwhohadanelectriclaunchforsale。
Thenews，communicatedtoherbyherhusbandinanswertoherinquiry，hadsurprisedher。Thatwaswhyshehadgivenalittlelaughwithatoneofderisioninitwhenshehadsaid:
“Anightingale！Howlovely！Ihopetheymayfindit。Itshouldn\'tprovesoarduousasthequestofthemeteor-bird。Idohopethatthosechildrenwillnotcatchcold。Itisatrifleimprudent。”
“Imprudent?“
“Goingoffthatwaywithnothingontheirheads。”
“Orinthem。Happychildren！“criedamoralizingnovelist，whowassmokinganextremelygoodcigar——ithadnotcomefromhisowntobacconist。
“Wecan\'tallbenovel-writers，“saidoneofthewomen。
“ThanktheLord！“saidoneofthemen，withgenuinepiety。
Inthree-quartersofanhourthemembersofthequestpartyreturned。
Theyhadbeenfullyrewardedfortheirtrouble；theyhadbeenlisteningtothenightingalefornearlytwentyminutes，theysaid；ithadbeenverylovely，theyagreed，withoutasingledissentientvoice。
Itprobablywas；atanyratetheywereverysilentfortherestofthenight。
“Youhavebegunwell，“saidEllatoHerbert，whentheyfoundthemselvestogetherinthedrawingroom，lateron，shortlybeforemidnight。Someonewasplayingonthepiano，sothatthegeneralconversationandyawningwerenotinterferedwith。“Youhavebegunwell。Youwillsoongettoknowherifyourothersdayshereareliketo-day。Thatnightingale！Oh，yes，youwillsoongettoknowher。”
Heshookhishead。
“Idoubtit，“saidhe，inalowtone。HiseyeswereturnedinthedirectionofPhyllis。Shewasonaseatatanopenwindow，thetwilightofmoonlightandlamplightglimmeringaboutherhair。“I
doubtit。IttakesamansuchasIamalongtimetoknowsuchagirlasPhyllisAyrton。”
ThatwasasayingwhichhadacertainamountofirritationforElla。
Hehadneversaidanythinginthepastabouther，Ella，beingbeyondtheknowledgeofordinarymen。
“That\'saverygoodbeginning，“saidshe，withalittlelaughthatmeantmuch。“Butdon\'tdespair。Afterall，girlsareprettymuchalike。Iwasagirlonce——itseemsalongtimeago。IthoughtthenthatIknewagreatdealaboutmen。Alas！allthatIhavelearnedsinceissimplythattheyknowagreatdealaboutme。AmIdifferentfromotherwomen，Iwonder?AmImoreshallow——moretransparent?WasI
everanenigmatoyou，Bertie?“
“Youwerealwaysawoman，“hesaid。“Thatiswhy——“
“Thatiswhy——“
“ThatiswhyIamhereto-night。IfyouwerenotatruewomanIshouldbefaraway。”
“Youarefaraway——fromme，Bertie。”
“No，no！Iamonlybeginningtoappreciateyou——tounderstandyou。”
“IamtobeunderstoodthroughthemediumofPhyllisAyrton?Isn\'tthatlikelookingathappinessthroughanother\'seyes?“
Hedidnotappeartocatchhermeaningatonce。HelookedatherandthenhiseyeswentacrosstheroomtoPhyllis。Atthesameinstanttheperformanceonthepianoceased。Everyonesaid“Thanks，awfullygood，“
andthereweresomeaudibleyawns。
Therewasabrandyandsodayearninginthemen\'seyes。
“We\'llgetofftobed；someonemaybegintoplaysomethingelse，“
whisperedthehostesstooneofherladyguests。
Themenlookedasiftheyhadheardthesuggestionandheartilyapprovedofit。
ThenexteveningEllawasfortunateenoughtogetbesideHerbertonceagain——shehadscarcelyhadanopportunityofexchangingawordwithhimallday。HehadbeenwithPhyllisaloneintheCanadiancanoe。Itonlyheldtwocomfortably，otherwise——Butnoonehadvolunteeredtoputitscapacitytothetest。Ellahadgoneinoneofthepuntswithfourorfiveofherguests；butthepuntneverovertookthecanoe。ItwasthoseoftheguestswhohadbeeninthepuntthatafterwardsaiditwasveryfunnytoobservethechagrinofQueenGuineverewhenshefoundthatherSirLancelothaddiscoveredanElaine。
“Youhavehadadelightfulday，I\'msure，“saidElla。Shehadfoundhimatthebottomofthegardenjustbeforedinner。Itwasnotforherhewasloiteringthere。
“Delightful?Perhaps。Ishallknowmoreaboutittenyearshence，“hereplied。
“Youarealmostgruffaswellasunintelligible，“saidshe。
“Ibegyourpardon，“hecried。“Prayforgiveme，Ella。”
“I\'llforgiveyourgruffnessifyoumakeyourselfintelligible，“saidshe。“Youfrightenme。Tenyearshence?Whathashappenedto-day?“
“Oh，nothingwhateverhashappened！andasfortenyearshence——well，intenyearshenceIshallbelookingbacktothisdayeitherasoneofthehappiestofmylife，orasFrancescalookedbackuponher/tempofelice/。”
“Oh，nowthatyougetintoaforeignlanguageyouarequiteintelligible。Youhavenotspoken?“
“Spoken?I?Toher——toher?Ihavenotspoken。Idon\'tbelievethatI
shalleverhavethecouragetospeaktoherinthesenseyoumean。”
Ellasmiledasshesettledaroseonthebodiceofhereveningdress——
itsredpetalswerereposinginthatlittleinterspacethatdimpledthesoftshell-pinkofherbosom。Themanbeforeherhadoncekissedher。
Shesmiled，assheknewthathewaswatchingher。Shewonderedifhehadforgottenthatkiss。
“Whyshouldyoulosecourageatthisjuncture?“sheasked。“Shehasn\'t，uptothepresent，shownanyverymarkedantipathytoyou，sofarasIcansee。Sheiscertainlynotwantingincourage，ifyouare。”
“Ella，“hecried，butinalowvoice，“Ella，whenIlookather，whenIthinkofher，Ifeelinclinedtothrowmybagintoatrapandgetbacktotown——getbacktoNewGuineawithaslittledelayaspossible。”
“Youwouldrunaway?“saidshe，stillsmiling。Shehadbeguntoworkwiththeroseinherbosomoncemore。“Youwouldrunaway?Well，youranawayoncebefore，youknow。”
Shecouldnotaltogetherkeepthesneeroutofhervoice；shecouldnotquitedepriveherwordsoftheirsting。Theysoundedtoherownearslikethehissofalashintheair。Shewasamazedattheamountofbitternessinhervoice——amazedandashamed。
Hestoodbeforeher，silentlylookingather。Therewasnoreproachinhiseyes。
“Oh，Bertie，Bertie，forgiveme！“shesaid，layingherhandonhisarm。“Forgiveme；Idon\'tknowwhatIamsaying。”
Therewassomepiteousnessinhervoiceandeyes。Shewasappealingtohimforpity，buthedidnotknowit。Everymanthinksthattheworldwasmadeforhimselfalone，andhegoestrampingaboutit，quitecarelessastowhereheplantshisheavyfeet。Whenoccasionallyhegetsathorninoneofhisfeet，hefeelsquiteaggrieved。Heneverstopstothinkofallthethingshisfootcrushesquitecasually。
HerbertCourtlandhadnocapacityforknowinghowthewomanbeforehimwassuffering。Heshouldhaveknown，fromthewordshehadjustheardherspeak。Heshouldhaveknownthattheyhadbeenwrungfromher。Hedidnotknow，however；hewasnotthinkingofher。
“Bertie，“shesaidagain，“Bertie，youarenotangry?IdidnotknowwhatIwassaying。”
“Youareawoman，“hesaidgently，anditwasjustbyreasonofthisgentlenessthatthereseemedtobeareproachinhisvoice。Hereproachedherforbeingawoman。
“Iamawoman——justasotherwomen，justasotherwomen。”Hervoicesoundedlikeamoan。“Ithoughtmyselfdifferent，stronger——perhapsworsethanotherwomen。Iwaswrong。Oh，Bertie！cannotyouseethatshelovesyouasIlovedyoulongago——oh，solongago?Andsomeonehassaidthatthereisnopasttenseinlove！No，no！shedoesnotloveyouasIlovedyou——guiltily；no，herloveisthelovethatpurifies，thatexalts。Shelovesyou，andshewaitsforyoutotellherthatyouloveher。Youloveher，Bertie?“
Therewasalongpausebeforehesaid:
“DoI?“
“Doyounot?“
“Godknows。”
AnditwasatthispointthatPhylliscameup。Wastherenoexpressionofsuspiciononherfaceasshelookedatthemstandingtogether?
Iftherewas，theyfailedtonoticeit。
“Icameouttogetarose，“shesaid。“Howquicklyyoudressed，Ella！
Ah，youhavegotyourrose——abeauty！Yourgardenerisgenerous；heactuallyallowsyoutopluckyourownroses。”
“Mr。Courtlandwillchooseoneforyou，“saidElla。“YoumaytrustMr。
Courtland。”
“Tochoosemearose?Well，onthatrecommendation，Mr。Courtland，I
thinkImaysafelyplacemyselfinyourhands。Iwillacceptaroseofyourchoosing。”
Andshedid。
CHAPTERXXXII。
LETTHEMBOTHGOTOGETHERTOPERDITION。
Therecouldbenodoubtwhateverthat，afterall，hehadnotproposedtoher。
ThatwaswhatHerbertCourtland\'sfellow-guestssaidwhentheylearnedthathehadleftforLondonbyanearlytrainonMondaymorning。
Andthewayshehadthrownherselfathishead，too！
Ofcourseshepretendednottofeelhisdepartureanymorethantherestoftheparty；andequallyasamatterofcourse，Mrs。LintonprotestedthatMr。Courtlandhaddisappointedher。
Andperhapshehad，too，someoftheguestswhisperedtooneanother。
Mr。Lintonshruggedhisshouldersandremarkedthatbusinesswasbusiness。
Everyoneagreedwiththegeneralaccuracyofthisassertion，butitwasnotonethatrequiredmuchboldnesstomake，andwhatithadtodowithMr。Courtland\'shurrieddeparturenooneseemedquiteabletoperceive。
ThegeneralideathathadprevailedatTheMooringonthesubjectofMr。Courtlandwasthathewouldremainatthehouseafteralltheotherguests——MissAyrtononlyexcepted——hadleft。
DuringMondayseveralweretoreturntotown，andtheremainderonTuesday，includingMissAyrton。SherequiredtodosotobeintimeforagrandfunctionatwhichRoyaltywastobepresentonthatnight。
Mrs。LintonherselfmeanttoreturnonWednesdayafternoon。
ItwaslateonSundaynightwhenHerberthadgonetoElla\'ssideandtoldherthathefounditnecessarytoleavefortownearlyinthemorninginsteadofwaitinguntilTuesdayevening。
“GoodHeavens！“shecried；“whatisthemeaningofthis?Whatwillpeoplesay?Youdonotmeantotellmethatshe——she——Oh，no；thatwouldbeimpossible！“
“Nothingisimpossible，“saidhe。“Nothing——notevenmyrunningaway。”
“Youhavetoldher——“
“Ihavetoldhernothing。IamnotsurethatIhaveanythingtotellher。Iamgoingawaytomakesure。”
“Oh！verywell。ButImustsaythatIthinkyouarewrong——quitewrong。ThereisthatMr。Holland；heiscomingintogreaterprominencethaneversincethatarticleofhisappearedinthe/ZeitGeist/。
StephensayshewillcertainlyhavetoleavetheChurch。”
“WhathasMr。Hollandgottosayto——“
“Morethanmeetstheeye。Youmustrememberthatthreemonthsagoshewasengagedtomarryhim。Now，thoughIdon\'tmeantosaythatsheevertrulylovedhim，yetthereisnosmokewithoutfire；itisveryoftenthattwopersonswhohavebecomeengagedtobemarriedloveeachother。Now，ifPhylliseverhadatenderfeelingforMr。Holland，andonlythrewhimoverbecausehistheoriesarenotthoseofPhilistia，inthemidstofwhichshehadalwayslived，thatfeelingiscertaintobecometendererifheisabouttobemadeamartyrof。WouldyouliketoseeherthrownawayuponGeorgeHolland?“
Herbertlookedatthewomanwhocouldthuspleadthecause——ifthatwasnottoostrongaphrase——ofthegirlwhomhehadcometolove。Hefeltthathewasonlybeginningtoknowsomethingaboutwomanandhernature。
“Imustgo，“hesaid。“Imustgo。Iamnotsureofmyself。”
“Youhadbestmakesureofher，andthenyouwillbecomesureofyourself，“saidElla。
“Thatwouldbetodoheraninjustice。No。IfeelthatImustgo，“hecried。
Andgohedid。
ThoseoftheguestswhoremainedduringMondaydidtheirbesttofindouthowPhylliswasdisposedtoregardhisdeparture；andtherewasaconsensusofopinionamongthemthatsheseemedgreatlymortified，thoughshemadeasplendidfight，tryingtoappearutterlyindifferent。
Therewas，however，noignoringthecircumstancethatEllawaselatedathisdeparture；someofherguestsevenwentsofarastosuggestthatshehadacceleratedhisdeparture，givinghimtounderstandthat，howeverayoungwomanmightthrowherselfathishead，——anddidn\'tPhyllisjustthrowherselfathishead?——hehadnorighttogiveherallhisattention；ahostesshasarighttoclaimsomeofhissparemoments。
ItwasnotuntilTuesday，whenMr。LintonhadleftforLondon，andPhylliswasalonewithEllaforanhourbeforelunch，thatthelatterendeavoredtofindoutwhatshethoughtofHerbertCourtland。
“HasStephenbeenspeakingtoyouaboutGeorgeHolland?“sheinquired。
ShethoughtthatthebestwaytoleadPhyllistotalkaboutHerbertwouldbebybeginningtotalkaboutGeorgeHolland。
“Oh，yes！“saidPhyllis。“HeappearstobegreatlyinterestedinMr。
Holland。HethinksthathemustleavetheChurch。”
“Thatwouldbeverysad，“remarkedElla。“Itwouldseemverylikepersecution，woulditnot?“
“Icannotseethattherewouldbeanyinjusticeinthematter，“saidPhyllis。“Ifamanchoosestowritesuchthingsashehaswritten，hemusttaketheconsequences。I，formypart，intendkeepingawayfromthechurchaslongasMr。Hollandremainsinthepulpit。”
ShedidnotthinkitnecessarytorefertotheremarksmadebyMr。
Hollandupontheoccasionofhislastvisittoher，thoughthesewordsmightnotbewithoutinteresttoElla。
“Butitseemshard，doesn\'tit，todepriveamanofhisprofessionsimplybecauseheholdscertainviewsonwhatis，afterall，anabstractsubject——thepatriarchs，ortheprophetsandthingsofthatsort?“saidElla。
“LadyEarlscourtsaidthatheshouldbeforgiven，becausehereallydidn\'tholdtheviewswhichhehadpreached，“laughedPhyllis。“Shealsosaidthatheshouldnotberegardedasanatheist，becausehebelievednotonlyinoneGod，butintwo。”
“IwonderhowmanyHerbertCourtlandbelievesin，“saidElla。“Youtoldmehetalkedtoyouonthattopicthefirstnightyoumet。WasitaboutGodyouandhehavebeentalkinglately?“
“I\'mafraiditwasnot。”
“Oh！youfoundamoreinterestingtopic，andoneofmoreimportancetotwopeopleinthebloomofyouth?“
“Ella！“
“Oh，mydear，Idon\'tmeananythingdreadful。Only，youknowaswellasIdothatahealthymanandahealthywomanwillnevertalk，whentheyarealonetogether，aboutGod，whentheycantalkabouteachother。IthinkHerbertCourtlandisaboutthehealthiestmanIknow，andI\'msurethatyouarethehealthiestgirl。Youandhearemostsympatheticcompanions。Youarenotatallstupidlycoy，mysweetmaiden。”
“IlikeMr。Courtland，andwhyshouldIbecoy?“
“Why，indeed?Iwonderwhatthepeoplewhohavejustleftuswillsayaboutit?“
“Aboutit?Aboutwhat！“
“Youcoyness——orabsenceofcoyness。Willtheysaythatyouthrewyourselfathishead?“
(Asamatteroffact，asisalreadyknown，thatisjustwhatthemajorityoftheguestsdidsayabouther。)
Phyllisreddenedandseemed——foramomentortwo——almostangry。Thenshemadealittlegesture，expressiveofindifference，asshecried:
“Afterall，whatdoesitmatterwhattheysaid?Idon\'tcareaboutthem。ItisforyouIcare，Ella——you，onlyyou。”
“Heavens！howseriouslyyousaythat！“criedElla。“There\'snocauseforseriousness，Ihope，evenifyoudocareagreatdealforme，whichIknowyoudo。Ifyousaidsomuchtoaman，——say，HerbertCourtland，——itwouldbequiteanothermatter。Therewouldbesufficientcauseforseriousnessthen。Butyoudidn\'tsaysomuchtohim。Heranawaybeforeyoucouldsayit。”
“Oh，Ella！pleasedon\'ttalkinthatway。Itisnotlikeyourselftotalkinthatway。”
“Howdoyouknowwhatislikemyselfandwhatisnot?Youhaveonlyseenonesideofme，andIdon\'tthinkthatyouhaveunderstoodevenwhatyouhaveseen。GreatHeavens！howcouldIexpectthatyoushould。
NotuntilwithinafewmonthsagohadImyselfanyideathatmynaturewasmadeupofmorethanoneelement。Doyoufancynowthatyouwillalwaysbeinthefutureasyouhavebeeninthepast?Thesameplacid，sweetEnglishgirl，withseriousthoughtsattimesaboutyourownsoulandotherpeople\'ssouls?amaidenlivingwithherfeetonlytouchingthecommonclayofthisearth?Waituntilyourhourcomes——yourhouroflove；yourhouroffate；yourhourofself-abandonment，andpraytoyourGodthatyoumaycomethroughitaswellasIcamethroughmine。”
“Ella，dearestElla！“
“Youknownothingofthathour——thatterriblehour！Waituntilitcomestoyoubeforeyouthinkawordofevilagainstanywomanthatlivesintheworld。Waituntilyourhourofjealousycomes——waituntilyoufindthatyourhairisturninggray。Themosttragicalmomentinawoman\'slifeiswhenshefindsthatthegrayhairswillnotbekeptback。ThatisthetimewhenshethinksofHeavenmostseriously。I
havenotyetfoundasinglegrayhairinmyhead，butIhavesufferedallelse；andIhavebeenanastonishmenttomyself——asIhavebeentoyoumorethanoncebeforenow，andasIcertainlyamtoyouatthepresentmoment。”
Shehadspokenatfirstwithquiveringlips，herfingersinterlaced，hereyesflashing。ShehadsprungfromherseatandhadbeguntopacetheroomjustasshehadpacedPhyllis\'drawingroomonthatnightwhenshehadmissedtheperformanceof“RomeoandJuliet，“butsheendedwithalaugh，whichwasmeanttomakeamockoftheseriousnessofherimpassionedwords，butwhichonlyhadtheeffectofemphasizingherpassionintheearsofthegirl。
Whileshewasstilllyingback，laughing，inthechairintowhichshehadthrownherselfoncemore，Phylliswenttoherandkneltatherfeet，takingherhandsjustasHerberthadtakenherhandsintheeveningwhenhehadkneltatherfeetinherownhouseafterthelittledinneratMr。Ayrton\'s。
“Ella，Ella，“shewhispered，“Ialsoamawoman。Oh，mydearest！I
thinkthatIcanunderstandsomethingofyourheart。Iknowalittle。
Oh，Ella，Ella！Iwoulddoanythingintheworldtohelpyou——anything——anything！“
“Wouldyou?“criedthewoman。“Wouldyoudoanything?WouldyougiveupHerbertCourtlandinordertohelpme?“
ShehadgraspedPhyllisbythewristsandhadbentherownheadforwarduntilherfacewaswithinaninchofPhyllis\'。Theirbreathsmingled。Theirfacesweretooclosetoadmitofeitherofthemseeingtheexpressionthatwasintheeyesoftheother。
“DearestElla，youwillnotbreakmyheart！“saidthegirlpiteously。
“Willyougivehimupforyourloveofme?“thewomancriedagain，andPhyllisfeltherhandstightenuponherwrists。
“Iwillforgetthatyouhavesaidsuchwords，“saidthegirl。
Thewomanflungawayherhandsafterretainingthemforafewmomentsinsilence，andthenthrowingherselfbackinherchair，laughedloudandlong。
Phyllisrosetoherfeet。
“Youpoordear！“criedElla。“Itwasashame——ashametoplaysuchajestuponyou！ButIfeltinatragicmood，andthelinebetweencomedyandtragedyisaveryfineone。Forgivemylittlefreak，dear；
andletusbehumanbeingsoncemore，livinginaworldthatcannotbetakensoseriously。Don\'tgobytheeveningtrain，Phyllis；stayallnightwithme。Ihavesomuchtosaytoyou。Iwanttotalktoyou。
Howcanyouleavemehereallalone?“
PhylliscouldhavetoldherthathowshecouldleaveherallalonewasbecauseHerbertCourtlandhadleftforLondononthepreviousday。Shedidnotmakeanexplanationtoheronthisbasis，however；shemerelysaidthatitwouldinterferewithherplanstoremainlongeratTheMoorings。Shehadtoattendthatgreatfunctionwithherfatherthatnight。
Ellacalledherveryunkind，butshowednodesiretoreverttothetopicuponwhichtheyhadbeenconversing，whenshehadthoughtfittoaskherthatjocularquestionwhichPhyllishadsaidshewouldforget。
ButPhyllisdidnotkeepherword。OnthecontraryshethoughtofnothingelsebutthatquestionallthetimeshewasintherailwaycarriagegoingtoPaddington。
ItwasaterriblequestioninPhyllis\'eyesforawomanwithahusbandtoputtohergirl-friend。
MorethanonceduringtheweekPhyllishadbeenledtoaskherselfifshewasquitecertainthatherterriblesurmiseregardingtheinfluencewhichdominatedElla\'srecentactionswastrue。Nowandagainshefeltanimpulsetofalluponherkneesandpray，asshehadoncebeforeprayed，thatthesinofthathorriblesuspicionmightbeforgivenher。Howcoulditbepossible，shethought，thatEllashouldforgetallthatatruewomanshouldeverremember！
Butnow——now，asshesatinthetrainonherwaybacktoLondon，therewasnoroomleftinhermindfordoubtonthismatter。ThetragicearnestnesswithwhichEllahadaskedherthatquestion，tighteningherfingersuponherwrists?“/WillyougiveupHerbertCourtlandinordertohelpme?/“——thepassionatewhisper，thequiveringlips——alltoldherwithoverwhelmingforcethatwhatshehadsurmisedwasthetruth。
ShefeltthatEllahadconfessedtoherthatherinfatuation——Phylliscalleditinfatuation——hadnotpassedaway，thoughshehadbeenstrongenoughuponthatnight，whenherhusbandhadsosuddenlyreturned，toflyfromitsconsequences。No，herinfatuationhadnotdied。
ButHerbertCourtland——whatofhim?Hehadalsohadstrength——once。
Wouldhehavestrengthagain?Hehadtoldher，whiletheyweretogetherinoneoftheboatsdriftingdowntheplacidriver，thathebelievedintheinfluencewhichawomancouldexerciseuponaman\'slifebeingcapableofchanginghisnaturesocompletelyasifamiraclehadbeenformeduponhim。Shehadnothadthecouragetoaskhimifhehadanyparticularinstanceinhismindthatimpressedthisbeliefuponhim。
Hadhebeenledtocastthatinfatuation——ifhehadeverbeensubjectedtoit——behindhim，byreasonofherinfluenceoverhimsinceshehadrepeatedtohimthepatheticwordsofMrs。Haddon，andhehadgonestraightaboardtheyachtonthatstrangecruise?
Shecouldscarcelydoubtthathewasreadytoacknowledgehowgreathadbeenherinfluenceuponhislife。Hehadshownherincountlesswaysthatshehadaccomplishedallthatshehadsoughttoachieve。Shehadhadnoneedtothrowherselfathishead——thephrasewhichEllasuggestedherfellow-guestswouldprobablyemployinreferringtotherelativepositionsofPhyllisandHerbert。No，shehadeverfoundhimbyherside，anditdidnotneedhertoexercisemuchclevernesstokeephimthere。
Butthen，whyhadhesosuddenlyhurriedawayfromthatpleasantlifebesidethestillwaters?
ThiswasthequestionwhichwasonhermindasthetrainranintothestationatPaddington。Shegotoutofthecarriage，andwhilehermaidwenttolookaftertheluggage，sheglanceddowntheplatformforthefootman。Hecameuptoherinamomentandtookherdressing-bagandjewel-case。
“Thebroughamishere，Isuppose?“shesaid，asshewalkeddowntheplatform。
Itwasattheentrancetothestation，hetoldher。
Shepausedforamoment，andglancedbacktoseeiftherehadbeenmuchluggageinthetrainwhichshehadleft——ifhermaidwouldbelikelytobekeptwaitingforlong。Atthatinstantaporter，withaportmanteauonhisshoulderandaGladstonebaginhishand，hurryingupbythesideofthetrainwhichwasreadytodepartfromthenextplatform，shoutedtoagroupofEtonboyswhowereblockingtheway:
“Byyourleave，gents！“
Shestartedandtookasteptooneside，andthatinstantwassufficienttomakeherawareofthefactthattheportmanteaucarriedbytheportertothetrainwhichwasabouttoleaveforMaidenheadwasHerbertCourtland\'s。Therewasnomistakingit。Itboreononeendhisinitialsandhisprivatesign。
Shetookafewstepsnearerthetrainbywhichshehadcome，andfollowedtheporterwithhereyes。
Heputtheportmanteauintotheluggagevan，andthenreturnedwiththeGladstonebagtothesideofacompartment。Shesawhimplaceitinthenetwork，andtouchhiscapashereceivedhis/douceur/fromthepassengerwhosatatthedoorwithaneveningpaperinhishand。
ShesawthatthatpassengerwasHerbertCourtland。
Shetoldthefootmanwhostoodbesidehertotakeherbagandcasetothebroughamandthenreturntohelphermaidwiththerestoftheluggage。Hefollowedherdowntheplatform。
Inashorttimeshewasbeingdrivenhome，hermaidfollowingwiththeluggageinanothervehicle。
Shedidnotbegintochangehertravelingdressimmediatelyonretiringtoherroom。Shedidnoteventakeoffherhat。Shestoodatthewindowlookingoutoverasceneverydifferentfromthatwhichhadbeenbeforehereyeseverydayduringthepreviousweek。Afteraquarterofanhour\'slistlessnessatthewindow，shespentanotherquarterofanhoursittingmotionlessinachair。Thensheroseandlookedatherselfinamirrorthatshowedherherselffromheadtofoot。Sheexaminedherfeetwithcuriousdeliberation，andthenlookedwithacriticalsideglanceatthereflectionofherface。(Shecouldnotfailtohavenoticedthatitwasunusuallypale。)Sheremovedherhat，surveyedherselfoncemore，then，turningawaywithanexclamationofimpatience，shecrumpledupherhatwithbothherhandsandflungit，justasawickedchildwouldhaveflungit，acrosstheroom。
“Letthembothgotogethertoperdition——toperdition——toperdition！“
shesaidwithabitternessthathadneverpreviouslybeeninhervoice。“Letthemgotogether。Ihavedonemybestforthem——forher——
forher。Igivethemupnowforevermore。”
Afteraminuteortwoofstatuesquepassionshewentacrosstheroomandpickedupherbruisedhat。Shelookedatit，turningitroundinherhands。Thenshedroppeditsuddenly，andflungherselfuponthesofa，cryingoutinawhirlwindoftears:
“Oh，Ella，Ella，Iwouldhavesavedyou——Imeanttosaveyou，indeed！
Iwouldhavedoneeverythingtosaveyou——everything！“
CHAPTERXXXIII。
IWONDERIFIEVERLOVEDYOUUNTILTHISMOMENT。
ItwasarathertediouseveningforEllaLintonafterPhyllishadtakenherdeparture。Whyonearth，sheaskedherself，hadshebeensuchafoolastolayoutherplanstohavethislonelyevening?ThensherememberedthattwoofherguestshadmeanttostayuntilWednesdaymorning，buthadreceivedaletternecessitatingtheirdeparturefortownonMondaynight。Butthisfactshouldnothavecondemnedhertoasolitaryevening，Ellareflected。Sheshouldhavebeenthoughtfulenoughtochangeherownplanstocorrespondwiththechangeintheplansofherguests。Anice，quiet，contemplativeeveningbesidethestillwatersmaysuittherequirementsofsometemperaments，butitwasnotjustwhatEllaregardedasmostsatisfyingtohermoodofthehour。Itwasalongtimesinceshehadspentalonelyevening，andalthoughshehadnowrathermorefoodforcontemplationthanatanyotherperiodofherlife，shedidnotfeelcontemplative。
Thenitsuddenlyoccurredtohertoaskherselfwhy，afterall，shouldshebecondemnedtoacontemplativeevening?Whatwastheretohinderhertakingatraintotownaftershehaddined?Onceintownsheknewthatallprospectofcontemplationwouldbeatanend。
SherangherbellandtoldhermaidthatshehadchangedhermindinregardtostayinganothernightatTheMooring；shewouldleaveafterdinner；wasn\'tthereatrainaboutninefromMaidenhead?
Itwaswhenshewasabouttogodowntodinnerthatsheheardthesoundofwheelsuponthegravelwalk。Wasitpossiblethathernewlymadeplansmightalsobederanged?WasthisafreshvisitorarrivingbyaflyfromMaidenhead——shesawthatthevehiclewasafly。
TherewasnooneintheroomtohearthecryofdelightthatshegavewhenshesawHerbertattheporchofthehouse，thedriverhavingdepositedhisportmanteauandGladstonebagathisfeet。
Hehadreturnedtoher——he，whomshefanciedtobefaraway；hewhohadforsakenher，asshethought，asshefeared，asshe(attimes)
hoped，forever。Hehadreturnedtoher。Therewasnoonenowtostandbetweenthem。Hewasallherown。
Sheflungoffthedresswhichshewaswearing，——itwasherplainesteveninggown，——andhadactuallygotonanother，alovelyonethatshehadneveryetworn，beforehermaidarrivedatherdressingroom。
“Louise，“shesaid，“sendamessagedownstairstoshowMr。Courtlandtohisroom，andmentionthathewilldinewithme。Comebackatonce。
Ihavegotsofarinmydressingwithoutyou；Ican\'tgomuchfurther，however。”
