CHAPTERXV。
BUTMR。COURTLAND——AH，NEVERMIND！
Mr。AyrtonentertainedhisdaughterwithadescriptionofthesceneintheHouseincidentaltotheannihilationofMr。Apthomas。Heratherthoughthimselfthathiscounter-questionhadbeenneat。Hehadbeencongratulatedonitbyquiteanumberofhisfriendsinthetearoom，andsixmessageshadbeendeliveredtohimbyrepresentativesofthepresstotheeffectthatifhecouldprovidethemwiththeexacttextofhiscounter-questiontheywouldbegreatlyobliged。
“Theymeantoreportitinfull?“saidPhyllis。Shehadanampleexperienceofthedecimationofhisquestionsaswellasspeechesbythemembersofthepressgallery。Theyhadreducedittoascience。
“Iammuchmistakeniftheydon\'tcommentonitaswell，“saidherfather。“PoorApthomas！healonesatglumandmutewhileeveryonearoundhimwasconvulsed。”
“IhopethatMr。Courtlandwillnotfeelhurtatwhathasoccurred，“
saidPhyllisdoubtfully。
“Mr。Courtland?WhoisMr。Courtland?WhathasMr。Courtlandtosaytothematter?Whatbusinessisitofhis，Ishouldliketoknow。”
“Well，consideringthathewastheoriginalsubjectofthequestions，thoughImustconfessthathedidn\'tremainlongso，Idon\'tthinkitaltogetherunreasonabletowonderwhathewillthinkaboutthewholeepisode，“remarkedPhyllis。
“Ah，youalwaysdotakeanoriginalviewofsuchincidents，“saidherfatherindulgently。“ItissolikeawomantotryanddragpoorCourtlandintothebusiness。YououghttoknowbetterthantofancythatanyinterestattachestotheoriginalsubjectofaquestionintheHouse。You\'llbesuggestingnextthatsomecreditshouldbegiventotheyouthswhopassbrilliantexaminationsinthings，andthatallshouldnotbeabsorbedbytheirgrinders。”
“I\'mnotsosillyasthat，papa，“saidshe。“No；butMr。Courtland——
Ah，nevermind。”
Hedidnotmind。
Itsohappened，however，thatseveralofthenewspaperswhichcommentedonthequestionsandcounter-questionsthenextdayintroducedthenameofMr。HerbertCourtlandandhisexplorations；
though，ofcourse，mostattentionwasdirectedtowhatMr。Ayrton\'spartycalledthebrilliant，andtheotherpartytheflippant，methodsofMr。Ayrton。HisreferencetotheNewGuineapigsomethoughtatrifletoopersonaltobeingoodtaste，butifpoliticiansrefrainedfrompersonalitiesandwerepunctiliousinmattersoftaste，whatchancewouldtheyhaveof“scoring，“andwherewouldthecaricaturistsbe?Thereputationofapoliticianissteadilybuiltupnowadays，notbyconsistency，certainly；notbybrilliantrhetoric；notevenbytheunscrupulousexerciseofafacultyfororganizingimpromptu“scenes，“
butbythewearingofanecktie，oraboot，orawaistcoatthatissusceptibleofcaricature。Averyordinaryyoungmanhasbeforenowbeenliftedintofamebythetwistsofhismustache，andanotheroflessthanmediocreabilityhasbeenpreventedfromsinkinginthefloodofforgetfulnessbythekindlyeffortsofacaricaturistwhosupportedhimbyasimplelockonhisscalp。ThusitwasthatMr。
Apthomasfoundhimselffamousbeforeaweekhadpassed，throughthecircumstanceofbeingrepresentedintheleadingjournalofcaricatureasaguineapig，flying，withthespoilofbubbleboardsofdirectorsunderhisarm，fromtheattackofanumberofquaint-lookingmammalswearingcollarsinscribed“ACCURACY，““CORRECTBALANCESHEETS，“
“LEGITIMATESPECULATIONS，“andotherphrasesthatsuggestedtheneedfortheoldguineapigtogivewaytoanewbreed。Underneaththepicturewasprintedaportionofthecounter-questionofMr。Ayrton，andoppositetoitweresomeverseswithajinglingrefrainthateveryonecouldremember，andwhicheveryonequotedduringthenextfewdays。
ThefirmofpublisherswhohadbeenfortunateenoughtosecuretheissueofMr。Courtland\'snewbookweredelighted。IfMr。Ayrtoncouldonlyhaveseenhiswaytointroducetheirnamesandtheiraddressinhiscounter-question，theircupofhappinesswouldhavebeencomplete，theysaid。Theymanaged，however，toinducetheproprietorsofayoungladywhowasreputedtobethevulgarestandmostfascinatingofallmusic-hallartistes，tointroduceMr。Courtland\'snameintooneofthemovablestanzasofhermostpopularlyric:thosestanzaswhicharechangedfromweektoweek，soastotouchuponthetopicswhichareuppermostintheminds——well，notexactlytheminds——ofthepublic。Itisscarcelynecessarytosaythatthisformofadvertisementisworthcolumnsofthedailypapers；andifMr。Courtlandhadonlyshownhimselfappreciativeofhisbestinterestsandhadchangedthetitleofhisbookto“TheLandoftheNewGuineaPig，“insteadof“TheQuestoftheMeteor-Bird，“theywouldhavegonetopresswithanextrathousandcopies。
ButevenasitwastheyknewthatbetweenthememberofParliamentandthemusic-hallyoungladythesaleofthebookwasacertainty。Theircalculationswerenotatfault。ThepublisherssentaliberalsubscriptiontotheNonconformistEasternMission，whoseagentshadstimulatedpubliccuriosityinMr。Courtland\'snewbookbysuggestingthathehadcarriedout，single-handed，oneofthemostatrociousmassacresofrecentyears；andadiamondbroochtothemusic-hallyoungladywhohadsokindlyworkedinthereferencetothebookafterdancingoneofhermostdaringhornpipesintheuniformofamidshipman；theydoubledthelinesoftheirannouncementsintheadvertisingcolumnsofthepaperthathadissuedthecartoonoftheNewGuineaPig，and，finally，theysentapresentationcopyof“TheQuestoftheMeteor-Bird，“toMr。Ayrton。
Then，aseveryonewashummingthelinesofthemusic-hallyounglady:
“FromthelandoffarNewGuineaCamealittlepig-a-ninny，“
thedailypaperswereboundtogivetwo-columnreviewstothebookonthedayofitspublication；andastherodwhichMosescastdownbeforePharaohswallowedupthewrigglingrodsofthemagicians，theinterestattachingtoMr。Courtland\'sbookabsorbedthatwhichattachedtoalltheotherbooksoftheseason，including“RevisedVersions，“thoughthepublishersofthelattermovedheavenandearth(thatistosay，thebishopandthepeople\'schurchwarden)togettheRev。GeorgeHollandprosecuted。Ifeitherhadbeensusceptibletoreason，andhadgotupacaseagainsttheirauthor，thepublishersdeclaredthatMr。Courtland\'sbookwouldnothavehadachancewith“RevisedVersions。”TobesuretheyadmittedthatthereportthatMr。
Hollandhadbeenthrownoverbytheladywhohadpromisedtomarryhimhadgivenajerkforwardtothesales；butwhenMr。GeorgeHollandhadbeensoidioticallyblindtohisbestinterestsand(incidentally)thebestinterestsofhispublishers，astocontradictthissuggestionofincipientmartyrdom，andthusanexcellentadvertisementhadbeenlost，andeveryonewas，inaweekortwo，talkingabout“TheQuestoftheMeteor-Bird，“whileonlyafewcontinuedshakingtheirheadsover“RevisedVersions。”
Meantime，however，Mr。CourtlandthoughtitwelltocalluponMr。
AyrtoninordertothankhimforhiskindnessinreplyingintheHouseofCommonssoeffectivelytothequestionsputtothevariousministersbyMr。Apthomas；andMr。AyrtonhadaskedMr。Courtlandtodinner，andMr。Courtlandhadacceptedtheinvitation，MissAyrtonbeggingMrs。Lintontobeoftheparty，andMrs。Lintonyieldingtoherpetitionwithoutdemur。
CHAPTERXVI。
WOULDITBEWELLWITHMYHUSBAND?
Itwasontheirwaybackfromthislittledinner-partythatMr。
CourtlandconfessedtoEllaLintonthathehadcometothinkofherdearestfriendasamostcharmingandoriginalgirl；shehadneveroncereferredtohisachievementsinNewGuinea，norhadsheaskedhimtowritehisnameinherbirthdaybook。Yes，shewasnotasothergirls。
“I\'msodelightedtohearyousaysomuch，“saidElla。“Oh，Bertie！
whynotmakeyourselfhappywithasweetgirlsuchasshe，andgivenomorethoughttosuchabsurditiesasyouhavebeenindulgingin?
Believeme，youdon\'tknowsowellasIdoinwhatdirectionyourhappinesslies。”
“Idon\'tknowanythingabouthappiness，“saidhe。“Idon\'tseemtocaremuch，either。WhenImadeupmymindtofindthemeteor-bird，don\'tyousupposethatthereweremanypeoplewhotoldmethat，evenifitwasfound，itwasquiteunlikelythatitwouldbemoresucculenteatingthanaDorkingchicken?I\'msuretheywereright。Yousee，I
didn\'tgotoNewGuineainsearchofabarndoorfowl。Idon\'twantdomestichappiness，Idon\'twantanythingbutyou——youaremymeteor-
bird。Ifound，aftermyfirstvisittoNewGuinea，thatitwasimpossibleformetorestuntilIhadfoundthemeteor-bird。Ihavefoundthatitisimpossibleformetolivewithoutyou，mybeloved。”
“Youwillhavetolearntolivewithoutme，“saidshe，layingherhanduponhis。Theyhadnowreachedherhouse，sothatnoimmediatereplywaspossible。Hedidnotattempttomakeareplyuntiltheyhadgoneintoasmalldrawingroom，andshehadflungoffherwrap。Theywerealone。
Thenhekneltontherugbeforeherandtookbothherhandsinhisown——ahandineachofhishands——astheylayonherdress。Hisfacewasclosetohers:shewasinalowchair。Eachcouldhearthesoundoftheother\'sbreathing——thesoundoftheother\'sheart-beats。Thatduetwentonforsomeminutes——themostperfectmusicinlife——themusicwhichislifeitself——themusicbywhichmanbecomesimmortal。
“Donotholdmeanylonger，Bertie，“saidshe。“Kissmeandgoaway——
away。Oh，whyshouldyouevercomeback?Ibelievethat，ifyoulovedme，youwouldgoawayandnevercomeback。Oh，whatisthisfarcethatisbeingplayedbetweenus?Itisunworthyofeitherofus！“
“Afarce?Atragedy！“saidhe。“Iwantyou，Ella。ItoldyouthatI
couldnotlivewithoutyou。”
“Youwantme?Youwantme，Bertie?“saidshe。Tearswereinhereyesandinhervoice，fortherewastoherapassionofpathosinthosewordsofhis。“Youwantme，andyouknowthatitisonlymysoulthatshallbelostifIgivemyselftoyou。Godhasdecreedthatonlythesoulofthewomanpaysthepenaltyoftheman\'slongingforher。”
“Yousoulshallbesaved，notlost，“saidhe。“Atpresentitisyoursoulthatisinperil，whenyougiveyoursweetnesstothemanwhomyouhaveceasedtolove——ah！whomyouneverloved。Youwillsaveyoursoulwithme。”
“Ishallloseitforalleternity，“saidshe。“DoyouthinkthatI
complain?DoyoufancyforamomentthatIgrumbleatthedecreeofGod，orthatIrailagainstitasunjust?“
“Youareawoman。”
“Iamawoman，andthereforeyouknowIwillonedaybereadytolosemysoulforyou，Bertie，mylove。Oh，mydear，dearlove，yousayyouwantme?“
“Oh，myGod！“
Hehadsprungtohisfeetandwaspacingtheroombeforeher。
“Yousaythatyouwantme。Oh，mylove，mylove，doyoufancyforamomentthatyourlongingformeisanythingtobecomparedtomylongingforyou?“
“Mybeloved，mybeloved！“
Hisarmswereabouther。Hislipswereuponhers。Shekissedhimashekissedher。
Thensheturnedherheadawaysothathiskissesfelluponhercheekinsteadofhermouth。Sheturneditstillfartherandtheyfelluponherneck——itwasexquisiteinitsshape——andlaytherelikeredrose-
leavesclingingtoacarvedmarblepillar。
“Wait，“shesaid。“Wait；letmetalktoyou。”
Sheuntwinedhisarmsfromabouther——thetearswerestillinhereyesasshetriedtofacehim。
“Whyshouldyoustillhavetears?“saidhe。“Ifanythingstoodbetweenusandlove，theremightberoomfortears，butnothingstandsbetweenusnow。Iamyours，youaremine。”
“Thatistheboastofamanwhoseesonlythebeginningofalove；
minearethetearsofawomanwhoseesitsend，andknowsthatitisnotfaroff。”
“Howcanyousaythat?Theend?theendoflovesuchasours?Oh，Ella！“
“Oh，listentome，mylove！IamashamedofthepartIhaveplayedduringthepastsixmonths——sinceweweretogetherontheArno，andyouareashamed，too。”
“Iamnotashamed。Ihavenoreasontobeashamed。”
“No；youarenotashamedofthepartyouhaveplayed；butyouareashamedofme，Bertie。”
“Ohyou?I——ashamedofyou?Oh，mydarling，ifyoutalklongerinthatstrainIwillbeashamedofyou。”
“Youareashamedofme——Ihavesometimesfeltit。AmanwithaheartsuchasIknowyourstobe，cannotbutbeashamedofawoman，who，thoughthewifeofanotherman，allowshimtokissher——yes，andwhogiveshimkissforkiss。Oh，goaway——goaway！Ihavehadenoughofyourlove——enoughofyourkisses，enoughshame！Goaway！Ineverwishtoseeyouagain——tokissyouagain。”
Shehadwalkedtotheotherendoftheroom，andstoodunderaVenetianmirror——itshonelikeamonstrousjewelaboveherhead——
lookingathim，herhandsclenched，hereyesflashingthroughthetearsthathadnotyetfallen。
Hehadhadnoexperienceofwomenandtheirmoods，andhewasconsequentlyamazedatherattitude。Hetookasteptowardher。
“No——no，“shecriedangrily。“Iwillnothaveanymoreofyou。ItellyouthatIhavehadenough。IfindnowthatwhatImistookforlovewasjusttheopposite。IbelievethatIhateyou。No——no，Bertie，notthat，itcannotbethat，only——Oh，IknownowthatitisnothateforyouthatIfeel——itishateformyself，hateforthecreaturewhoishatefulenoughtostandbetweenyouandthehappinesswhichyouhaveearnedbypatience，byconstancy，byself-control。Yes，Ihatethecreaturewhoisidioticenoughtoputhonorbetweenus，toputreligionbetweenus，toputhersoul\'ssalvationbetweenus。”
“Ella，Ella，whywillyounottrustme?“hesaid，whenshehadflungherselfintoachair。Hewasstandingoverherwithhishandsclaspedbehindhim。Hewasbeginningtounderstandsomethingofhernature；ofthenatureofthewomantowhomlovehascomeasathiefinthenight。
Hewasbeginningtoperceivethatshehad，inherignorance，beenreadytoentertainlovewithoutknowingwhatwasentailedbyentertaininghim。“Ifyouwouldonlytrustme，allwouldbewell。”
Shealmostleapedfromherchair。
“Wouldit?“shecried。“Wouldallbewell?Woulditbewellwithmysoul?Woulditbewellwithbothofusinthefuture?Woulditbewellwithmyhusband?“
Helaughed。
“Iknowyourhusband，“hesaid。
“AndIknowhim，too，“saidshe。“HecaresformenomorethanIcareforhim，buthehasneverbeenotherwisethankindtome。Ithinkofhim——Ithinkofhim。Iknowthenamethatmengivetothemanwhotriestomakehisfriend\'swifelovehim。Itisnotmyhusbandwhohasearnedthatname，Mr。Courtland。”
Helookedintoherface，buthespokenoword。Evenhe——thelover——wasbeginningtosee，asinaglass，darkly，somethingoftheconflictthatwasgoingonintheheartofthewomanbeforehim。Shehadutteredwordsagainsthim，andtheyhadstunghim，andyethehadafeelingthat，ifhehadputhisarmsaboutheragain，shewouldhaveheldhimclosetoherasshehaddonebefore；shewouldhavegivenhimkissforkissasshehaddonebefore。Itisthedecreeofnaturethatthelovershallthinkofhimselfonly；buthadhenottoldPhyllisthathisbeliefwasthatNatureandSatanwerethesame?Hewassometimesabletosay，“/Retrome，Sathana/“——notalways。Hesaiditnow，butnotboldly，notloudly——inawhisper。ThebestwayofputtingSatanbehindoneistorunawayfromhim。Resistthedevil，andhewillfleefromyou。Yes，but，onthewhole，itissafertoshowhimacleanpairofheelsthantoenteronanargumentwithhim，hopingthathewillbeamenabletologic。HerbertCourtlandsaidhis，“/Retrome/，“inawhisper，halfhoping，asthegentlewomanwiththemuffinsforsalehoped，thathewouldescapenotice。Forafewmomentsheceasedtothinkofhimself。Hethoughtofthatbeautifulthingbeforehim——shewastall，andherrosywhitefleshwasasapeachthathasreacheditsonehourofripeness——hethoughtofherandpitiedher。
Hehadnotthehearttoputhisarmsabouther，thoughheknewthattodosowouldbetogivehimallthehappinessforwhichhelonged。Whatwashethatheshouldstandbyandseethatstruggletearingherheartasunder?
“Mypoorchild！“saidhe，andthenherepeatedhiswords，“Mypoorchild！Itwouldhavebeenbetterifwehadnevercometogether。Wearegoingtopartnow。”
Shelookedathimandlaughedinhisface。
Hedidnotknowwhatthismeant。Hadshebeensimplyactingapartallalong?Hadshebeenplayingacomedypartallthewhilehewasthinkingthatagreattragedywasbeingenacted?Orwasitpossiblethatshewasmockinghim?thatherlaughwasthelaughofthejailerwhohearsaprisonerannouncehisintentionofwalkingoutofhiscell?
“Good-by，“saidhe。
Shefixedhereyesuponhisface，thenshelaughedagain。
Henowknewwhatshemeantbyherlaugh。
“Perhapsyoumaythinkthatyouhavetoofirmaholduponmetogivemeachanceofpartingfromyou，“saidhe。“Youmayberight；butifyoutellmetogoIshalltryandobeyyou。Butthinkwhatitmeansbeforeyoutellmetoleaveyouforever。”
Shedidthinkwhatitmeant。Shelookedathim，andshethoughtofhispassingawayfromherforevermore。Shewonderedwhatherlifewouldbewhenheshouldhavepassedoutofit。Ablank?Oh，worsethanablank，forshewouldhaveeverpresentwithhertherecollectionofhowhehadoncestoodbeforeherashewasstandingnow——tall，withhisbrownhandsclenched，andapalenessunderlyingthetanofhisface。“Thebravestmanalive“——thatwaswhatPhyllishadcalledhim，andPhyllishadbeenright。Hewasamanwhohadfoughthiswaysingle-handedthroughsuchperilsasmadethosewhomerelyreadaboutthemthrobwithanxiety。
Thiswasthemanofwhomsheknewthatshewouldeverretainamemory——thiswasthemanwhomshewasreadytosendbacktotheuttermostendsoftheearth。
Andthiswastobetherewardofhisdevotiontoher！Whatwasshethatshecoulddothisthing?Whatwasshethatsheshouldrefrainfromsacrificingherselfforhim?Shehadknownwomenwhohadsacrificedthemselvestomen——suchmen！Wretchedthings！Notlikethatmanofmenwhostoodbeforeherwithsuchalookonhisfaceasithadworn，sheknew，inthemostdesperatemomentsofhislife，whenthenextmomentmightbringdeathtohim——deathfromanarrow——fromawildbeast——fromahurricane。
Whatcouldshedo?
Shedidnothing。
Shemadenoefforttosaveherself。
Ifhehadputhisarmsaboutherandhadcarriedherawayfromherhusband\'shousetotheuttermostendsoftheearth，shewouldnothaveresisted。Itwasnotinherpowertoresist。
Anditwasbecausehesawthishewentaway，leavingherstandingwiththatlovelyVenetianmirrorglitteringinsilverandrubyandemeraldjustaboveherhead。
“Youhavebeenright；Ihavebeenwrong，“saidhe。“Don\'ttrytospeak，Ella。Don\'ttrytokeepme。Iknowhowyouloveme，andIknowthatifIaskyoutokeepmeyouwillkeepmeuntilyoudie。Forgivemeformyselfishness，mybeloved。Good-by。”
Shefelthimapproachherandshefeltthehandsthathelaiduponherbareshoulders——oneoneachsideofherneck。Sheclosedhereyesasheputhisfacedowntohersandkissedheronthemouth——notwithrapturous，passionatelips，butstillwithwarmandtremblinglips。
Shedidnotknowwherethekissended，shedidnotknowwhenhishandsweretakenoffhershoulders。Shekepthereyesclosedandhermouthsealed。Shedidnotevengivehimafarewellkiss。
Whensheopenedhereyesshefoundherselfaloneintheroom。
Andthentherecametoherearsthesoundofthedoublewhistleforahansom。Shestoodsilentlytherelisteningtothedrivingupofthevehicle——sheevenheardthesoundoftheclosingoftheapronandthenthetinklingofthehorse\'sbellsdwindlingintothedistance。
Asenseoflonelinesscametoherthatwasoverwhelminginitsforce。
“Fool！fool！fool！“shecried，throughhersetteeth。“WhathaveI
done?Senthimaway?Senthimaway?Mybeloved！——mybestbeloved——mymanofmen。Gone——gone！Oh，fool！fool！“
ShethrewherselfonasofaandstaredattheWatteaugroupofmasqueradingshepherdsandshepherdessesonthegreatSevresvasethatstoodonapedestalnearher。Themasksatthejoiningofthehandleswereofgrinningsatyrs。Theywereleeringather，shethought。Theyalonewereawareofthegoodreasontherewasforsatyrstogrin。A
womanhadjustsentawayfromher，forever，thebravestmaninalltheworld——thosewerePhyllis\'words——akingofmen——theonemanwholovedherandwhomsheloved。Shehadpretendedtohimthatshewassubjecttotheinfluencesofreligion，ofhonor，ofduty！Whathypocrisy！Theyknewit，thoseleeringcreatures——theyknewthatshecarednothingforreligion，thatsheregardedhonoranddutyaswordsofnomeaningwhensuchwordsasloveanddevotionwereintheair。
Shelookedatthesatyrmasks，andhadanyonebeenpresentintheroom，thatonewouldhaveseenthatherlovelyfacebecamegraduallydistorteduntiltheexpressionitworewaspreciselythesameasthatuponthemasks——anexpressionthathaditsaudibleequivalentinthelaughwhichbrokefromher。
Shelaybackonherbroadcushions。Oneofthestrandsofhersplendidhairhadbecomeloose，andaftercoilingoverhalfayardofthebrocadedsilkofacushion，twisteditswaydowntothefloor。Shelayback，pointingonefingeratthefaceonthevaseandlaughingthatsatyr-laugh。
“Weknow——weknow——weknow！“shecried，andhervoicewaslikethatofadrunkenwoman。“Weknowall——youandI——weknowthehypocrisy——thepretenseofreligion——ofhonor——duty——ahusband！Ah，ahusband！thatisthefunniestofall——thathusband！Weknowhowlittlewecareforthemall。”
Shecontinuedlaughinguntilhercushionslippedfromunderherhead。
Shehalfrosetostraightenit，andatthatinstantshecaughtaglimpseofherfaceinthecentersilveredpaneloftheVenetianmirror。Thecryofhorrorthatbrokefromheratthatinstantseemedpartofherlaugh。Itwouldnothaveoccurredtoanyonewhomighthavehearditthatitwasotherwisethanconsistentwiththeincongruity，sotospeak，oftheexistingelementsofthescene。Thehideousleerofthethingwithhorns，lookingdownattheexquisitepictureofthe/fetechampetre/——thedistortedfeaturesofthewoman\'sfaceinthecenteroftherubyandemeraldandsapphireoftheVenetianmirror——
thecryofhorrormixedwiththelaughofthewomanwhomockedatreligionandhonorandpurity——allwereconsistentlyincongruous。
Inanotherinstantshewaslyingonthesofawithherfacedowntothecushion，tryingtoforgetallthatshehadseeninthemirror。Shewepthertearsonthebrocadedsilkforhalfanhour，andthensheslippedfromwhereshewaslyingtillherkneeswereonthefloor。
Withahandclutchingeachsideofthecushionshegotridofherpassioninprayer。
“Oh，God！God！keephimawayfromme！keephimawayfromme！“washerprayer；anditwaspossiblythebestthatshecouldhaveuttered。
“Keephimawayfromme！keephimawayfromme！Don\'tletmysoulbelost！Keephimawayfromme！“
Whenshestruggledtoherfeet，atlast，shestoodinfrontofthemirroronceagain。
Shenowsawafacepurifiedofallpassionbytearsandprayer，whereshehadseenthesoullessfaceofaPagan\'sorgy。
Shewentupstairstoherbedandwentasleep，thankingGodthatshehadhadthestrengthtosendhimaway；thatshehadhadstrengthsufficienttostandwhereshehadstoodintheroom，silent，whilehehadputhisarmsonherbareshouldersandkissedheronthemouth，saying“Good-by。”
ShefeltthatshehadeveryreasontothankGodforthatstrength，forsheknewthatithadbeengiventoheratthatmoment；ithadnotsprungfromwithinherownheart；herhearthadbeencryingouttohim，“Stay，stay，stay！“herhearttooknoaccountofhonororpurityorahusband。
Yes，shefeltthatthestrengthwhichhadcometoheratthatmomenthadbeentheespecialgiftofGod，andshewasthankfultoGodforit。
ThatconsciousnessofgratitudetoGodwasherlastsensationbeforefallingasleep；and，whenmorningcame，herfirstsensationwasthatofhavingalettertowrite。Beforeshehadbreakfastedshehadwrittenherletterandsentittobeposted。
Thiswastheletter:
“MYONELOVE:Iwasafool——oh，suchafool！HowcouldIhavedoneit?HowcouldIhavesentyouawayinsuchcoldnesslastnight?
Believeme，itwasnotIwhodidit。HowcouldIhavedoneit?Youknowthatmyloveforyouislimitless。Youknowthatitismylife。Itellyouthatmyloveforyoulaughsatsuchlimitsasarelaiddownbyreligionandhonor。WhyshouldIprotest?Myloveislove，andtherecanbenolovewherethereareanylimits。
“CometomeonThursday。Ishallbeathomeafterdinner，atnine，andseeifIamnotnowinmyrightmind。Cometome；cometome，Bertie，mylove。”
CHAPTERXVII。
WHATAMITHATISHOULDDOTHISTHING?
“Atlast！“
Hesatwiththeletterbeforehimafterhehadbreakfasted，andperhapsforatime，sayaminuteorso，hecaughtaglimpseofthenatureofthewomanwhohadwrittenthoselinestohim。Ifhehadnothadsomeappreciationofhernaturehewouldhavespentanhourortwo——perhapsadayortwo——tryingtoreconcileherattitudeofthepreviousnightwiththetoneofherletter。Hedidnot，however，wastehistimeoversuchanendeavor。Heknewthatshelovedhim，andthatshedidnotloveherhusband。Heknewthatshehadallowedhimtokissher，andithadbeenapuzzletohimforsomemonthswhyshehadnotcometohisarmsforever——hemeanthertobehisownpropertyforever。
Hehadbeenamazedtohearherallude，asshehaddoneonthepreviousnight，tosuchabstractionsashonor，religion，herhusband。Hecouldnotseewhattheyhadtodowiththematterinhand。Hecouldnotseewhysuchconsiderationsshouldbepotenttoexercisearestraininginfluenceontheintentionsofamanandawomanwholoveeachother。
Well，nowitwouldappearthatshehadcasttothewindsallsuchconsiderationsasshehadenumerated，andwaspreparedtoliveundertheruleoflovealone，anditwasathissuggestionshewasdoingso。
Foramomentortwohesawherasshewas:awomaninthemidstofaseethingocean，throwingupherhandsandfindinganabsolutereliefingoingdown——down——downintoveryhell。Foramomentortwohisheartwasfullofpityforher。Whocouldbeaspectatorofawoman\'sstrugglesforlifeinthemidstofthatturbulentseaofpassionwhichwasoverwhelmingher，andrefrainfromfeelingpity?Thatletterwhichlaybeforehimrepresentedtheagonizingcryofadrowningcreature；
onewhomthelongstrugglehasmadedelirious；onewholooksforwardtogoingdownwiththedelightbornofdelirium。
Herecollectedapicturewhichhehadonceseen——thepictureofadrowningwoman。Hesawitnowbeforehimwithhideousvividness，andthefaceofthewomanwasthefaceofEllaLinton。Theagonyofthatlastfightwithanelementthatwasoverpowering，overwhelminginitsruthlessstrength，wasshownuponeveryfeature，andhissoulwasfilledwithpity。
Hesprangtohisfeetandcrushedtheletterintohispocket。Hefeltnoneoftheexultationofthehuntsman——onlysadnessatthefateofthehuntedthingthatlayathisfeet。Oncebeforethesamefeelinghadcomeoverhim。Itwaswhen，afterthelongstruggleuptheriver，throughtheforests，swamps，junglegrassthatcutthebodyofamanasthoughitweresharpwire，hefiredhisshotandthemeteor-birdfellathisfeet。Afterthefirstfewpantingbreathsthatcametohimhehadstoodleaningonhisgun，lookingdownatthatbeautifulthingwhichhehaddeprivedoflife。
“WhatamIthatIshouldhavedonethisthing?“hehadaskedhimselfonthatevening，whiletheblackshadyelledaroundhimlikedevils。
“WhatamIthatIshoulddothisthing?“washiscrynow，asthevoiceofmanydemonssoundedinhisears。
Whatwashethatheshouldrejoiceatreceivingthatletterfromthewomanoverwhoseheadthewaterswereclosing?
Heorderedhishorseand，mountingit，rodetowherehecouldputittothegallop。Somentrytoleavebehindthemthesneeringdemonsofconscienceandself-reproach。Someofthemsucceedindoingso，butfindthepairwaitingforthemontheirowndoorstep。HerbertCourtlandgallopedhishorseintermittentlyforanhourortwo，andthenrodeleisurelybacktohisrooms。Hefeltthathehadgotthebetterofthosetwoenemiesofhiswhohadbeenirritatinghim。Heheardtheirvoicesnolonger。Hehadlostthem(hefancied)，becausetherehadcometohimanothervoicethatsaid:
“Iloveher——Iloveher。”
AndwhensoeverthatvoicecomestoamanasitcametoHerbertCourtlanditdrownsallothervoices。Hewouldlovehertotheendofhislife。Theirlifetogetherwouldbethereallifeforwhichmenandwomenhavecomeintotheworld。Hewouldgotoher，andsofarfromallowinghertosinkbeneaththewatersdowntohell，hisarmswouldbearoundhertobearherupuntil——well，isitnotgenerallyconcededthatloveisheavenandheavenislove?
Heseatedhimselfatadeskandwrotetoheranimpassionedline。Hewouldgotoher，hesaid。IfdeathshouldcometohimthenextdayhewouldstillthankGodforhavinggivenhimanhouroflife。
Thatwaswhathesaid——all。Itexpressedprettywellwhathefeltheshouldfeel。ThatreferencetoGodshewould，ofcourse，understand。
GodwastohimaFigureofSpeech。HehadsaidasmuchtoPhyllisAyrton。ButthenhehadsaidthathehadregardedGodtomeanthePowerbywhichmenwereable(sometimes)successfullytocombattheinfluencesofnature。ButhadhenotjustthenmadeuphismindtoyieldtothatpassionwhichGod，asaPrinciple，hasthegreatestdifficultyinopposing?Why，then，shouldheexpectthatEllawouldunderstandpreciselywhathemeantinsayingthathewouldthankGodforhishouroflife，hishouroflove?
Hewouldhavehadconsiderabledifficultyinexplainingthisapparentdiscrepancybetweenhisschemeofphilosophyandhislifeasaman，hadPhyllisaskedhimtodoso；andPhylliswouldcertainlyhaveaskedhimtodosohadshebecomeacquaintedwiththecontentsofhislettertoherfriendElla；thoughPhyllis\'father，havingacquiredsomeknowledgeofmenaswellasofphrases，wouldnothaveaskedforanyexplanation，knowingthataman\'sphilosophyis，initsrelationtoaman\'slife，agooddeallessimportantthanthefuseistoabomb。Hewouldhaveknownthataschemeofphilosophynomorebringswisdomintoaman\'slifethanatelescopebringsthemoonnearertotheearth。Hewouldhaveknownthatforamantobuildupadoctrineofphilosophyaroundhimself，hopingthatthedevilwillkeepontheothersideofthepaling，isasridiculousasitistoraiseastockadeofrosesagainstatiger。
HerbertCourtland，however，thoughtneitherofphilosophicalconsistencynoroftheadvantagesofhavingonone\'ssideasoundPrinciple。Hethoughtofthestockadeofroses，nottokeepoutthebeastbuttokeeplovein。Theywouldlivetogetherinthemidstofrosesforever，andthougheachmightpossiblylosesomethingbythetransaction，yetwhattheymightlosewasnothingcomparedtowhattheyshouldcertainlywin。Ofthathewascertain，andthereforehepostedhisimpassionedlinewithalightheart。
ThatwasonTuesday。Hehadstilltwodaysthathemightemploythinkingovertheenterprisetowhichhewascommitted；andhecertainlymadethemostofhistimeinthisdirection。Nowandagain，ashethoughtofwhatwasinstoreforhim——forher——hefeltasifhewereliftedofftheearth，andatothertimeshefeltthathewascrushedintotheearth——crushedintoituntilhehadbecomeincapableofanythoughtthatwasnotoftheearth，earthy。Atsuchmomentshefeltinclinedtowalkdowntothedocksandstepaboardthefirstvesselthatwassailingeastwardorwestwardornorthwardorsouthward。Thenitwasthathefoundbutthescantiestcomfortintheconsiderationofthelovelinessoflove。Glorifyinglife！No，corruptinglifeuntillifeismoreputridthandeath。
Thatwaswhatlovewas——somethingtoflyfrom。Butstillhedidnotflyfromthevisionthatcametohimwhenhefoundhimselfaloneafterspendingtheeveningsinbrilliantcompany——avisionofthelovelywomanwhowaswaitingforhim！Whathadshesaid?Hersoul——hersoulwouldbelostforevermore?
Well，thatshowedthatshewasawoman，atanyrate，andhelovedherallthebetterforherwomanliness。HeknewverywellthatifGodisaFigureofSpeechwithmen，thelosingofasoulisafigureofspeechwithwomen。Theexpressionmeansonlythattheyhavelostthechanceofdrinkinganumberofcupsofteaindrawingroomswhosedoorsarenowshuttothem。ThatwaswhatEllameant，nodoubt。Ifshewereopenlytosetatdefiancecertainofthoselawsbytheaidofwhichsocietywaskepttogetherwithamoderatedegreeofconsistency，shewouldbetreatedasanoutlaw。
Afterall，suchafatewasnotwithoutitsbrightside。SomehappinessmayremaintohumanbeingsinthatworldwhichisonthehithersideofLondondrawingrooms；anditwouldbehisaiminlifetoseethatshehadallthehappinessthattheworldcouldgiveher。
Pah！Hefelthissentimentbecomingatriflebrackish。Helovedher，andshelovedhim。Thatwasmorethanallthelawsandtheprofitsofsocietytothem。Thatwasthebeginningandtheendofthewholematter——theoriginofthesin(peoplecalleditasin)andtheexculpationofthesinners。Therewasnothingmoretobesaidorthoughtaboutthematter。Thosewholovedwouldunderstand。Thosewhodidnotunderstandwouldcondemn，andtheexistenceofeitherclasswasofnoearthlyimportancetohimselfortoElla。
WhenheawokeontheThursdaymorningthefeelingofexultationofwhichhewasconsciouswasnotwithoutanoteofdepression。SoithadbeenwhentheobjectofhisexplorationsinNewGuineahadbeenattained，andhelookeddownatthatexquisitething——thatdeadsplendorathisfeet。
Hewonderediftheattainmentofeverygreatobjectwhichamanmayhaveinlifebringsaboutafeelingofsadnessthatalmostneutralizestheexultation。AshepickeduphislettershehadafearthatamongthemtheremightbeonefromElla，tellinghimthatshehadcometotheconclusionthatshehadwrittentoohastilythoselineswhichhehadreceivedonTuesday——that，onconsideration，shewasunwillingtolosehersoulforloveofhim。
Nosuchletter，however，wasamonghiscorrespondence。(Coulditbepossiblethathewasdisappointedonaccountofthis?)HereceivedanintimationfromBerlinoftheconferringofanorderuponhiminrecognitionofhisexplorationofaterritoryinwhichGermanywassogreatlyinterested。HereceivedanintimationfromViennathatagoldmedalhadbeenvotedtohimbyoneofthelearnedsocietiesinrecognitionofhiscontributionstobiologicalscience。Hereceivedanintimationfromhispublishersthattheyhadjustgonetopresswithanotherthousand(thetwelfth)ofhisbook，andhereceivedthirteencardsofinvitationtovariousfunctionstotakeplaceinfromthreetosixweeks\'time，butnolinedidhereceivefromElla。
Shewashisforeverandever，whetherhersoulwouldbelostorsavedinconsequence。
Heratherthoughtthatitwouldbelost；butthatdidnotmatter。Shewashisforeverandever。
CHAPTERXVIII。
HERBERTCOURTLANDISAMANWHOHASLIVEDWITHHONOR。
Itwasalongday。
TowardeveningherecollectedthathehadtoleavecardsuponhishostandhostessoftheMondayprevious，butitwaspastsixo\'clockwhenhefoundhimselfatthetopofthestepsofMr。Ayrton\'shouse。BeforehisringhadbeenrespondedtoavictoriadroveupwithPhyllis，andinamomentshewasonthestepbesidehim。
Shelookedradiantinthecostumewhichshewaswearing。Hethoughthehadneverseenaloveliergirl——hewascertainthathehadneverseenabetter-dressedgirl。(Mr。Courtlandwasnotcleverenoughtoknowthatitisonlythebeautifulgirlswhoseemwelldressedintheeyesofmen。)Therewasacertainfranknessinherfacethatmadeitveryinteresting——thefranknessofachildwholooksintothefaceoftheworldandwondersatitsreticence。Hefelthersoftgrayeyesrestinguponhisface，assheshookhandswithhimandbeggedhimtogoinandhaveteawithher。Hefeltstrangelyuneasyunderhereyesthisevening，andhisself-possessionfailedhimsofarastomakeitimpossibleforhimtoexcusehimself。Itdidnotoccurtohimtosaythathecouldnotdrinkteawithheronaccountofhavinganappointmentwhichhecouldnotbreakthroughwithoutthemostdeplorableresults。Hefelthimselfledbyherintooneofherdrawingrooms，andsittingwithhisbacktothewindowwhileherfrankeyesremainedonhisface，asking(sohethought)forthenearestapproachtotheirfranknessinresponse，thatamanwhohaslivedintheworldofmendareoffertoamaidenwhoseworldiswithinherself。
“Oh，yes！IgottheusualnotificationoftheOrderoftheBaldEagle，“saidhe，inreplytoherinquiry。“IshallwearitnextmyheartuntilIdie。Thenewspapersannouncedthehonorthathadbeendonetomethesamemorning。”
“Youcannotkeepanythingoutofthepapers，“saidPhyllis。
“Evenifyouwantto——aconditionwhichdoesn\'tapplytomycase，“
saidhe。“Mypublishersadmittedtomelastweekthattheywouldn\'tresteasyifanynewspaperappearedduringthenextmonthwithoutmynamebeinginitscolumnsinsomeplace。”
“I\'msuretheyweredelightedatthedevelopmentofthe/SpiritualAneroid\'s/attackuponyou，“saidPhyllis。
“TheytoldmeIwasamademan，“saidhe。
Shethrewbackherhead——itwasherway——andlaughed。Herlaughter——
allthegraceofgirlhoodwasinitsring；itwasgirlhoodmadeaudible——waslighteningherfairfaceasshelookedathim。
“Howfunny！“shecried。“YoufightyourwaythroughtheNewGuineaforests；youareindailyperilofyourlife；youopenupanewcountry，andyetyouarenotamademanuntilyouareattackedbyawretchednewspaper。”
“Thatisthestandpointofthepeoplewhosellbooks，soyoumaydependuponitsbeingthestandpointofthepeoplewhobuybooks，“
saidhe。
“Icanquitebelieveit，“saidshe。“Mr。Geraint，thenovelist，tookmedowntodinneratMrs。Lemuel\'slastnight，andhetoldmethattheonlythingthatwillmakepeoplebuybooksisseeingtheauthor\'sportraitinsomeoftheillustratedpapers，orhearingfromsomeoftheinterviewswhicharepublishedregardinghimthathenevercouldtakesugarinhiscoffee。Thereviewsofhisbooksarereadonlybyhisbrotherauthors，andtheyneverbuyabook，Mr。Geraintsays；buttheinterviewsarereadbythegenuinebuyers。”
“Mr。Geraintknowshispublic，I\'msure。”
“Ifancyhedoes。Hewouldbeveryamusingifhedidn\'taimsopersistentlyatgoingonebetterthansomeoneelseinhisanecdotes。
Peopleweretalkingatdinneraboutyourhavingmassacredthenativeswithdynamite——youdid，youknow，Mr。Courtland。”
“Oh，yes；Ihaveadmittedsomuchlongago。Therewasnohelpforit。”
“Well，ofcourseeveryonewaslaughingwhenpapatoldhowthemassacrecameabout，andthisannoyedMr。Geraintandinducedhimtotellastoryaboutapoorwomanwhofanciedthatmelinitewasasortoffoodforchildrenthatcausedtheirportraitstoappearintheadvertisements；sosheboughtatinofitandgaveitalltoherlittleboyatonemeal。Itsohappened，however，thathebecamerestlessduringthenightandfelloutofhiscradle。Thathappenedayearago，Mr。Geraintsaid，andyetthestreetisn\'tquitereadyfortrafficyet。”
“ThatlittleanecdoteofMr。Geraintmakesmefeelverymeek。IfatanytimeIamtemptedtothinkwithprideuponmydynamitemassacre，I
shallrememberMr。Geraint\'sstory，andhangmyhead。”
“WewereallamusedatMr。Geraint\'slivelyimagination，butmuchmoresowhenMr。Topham，theunder-secretary，shookhisheadgravely，andsaidinhismostdignifiedmanner，thathethoughtthereportedoccurrence——themeliniteincident——quiteimprobable。Hewasgoingontoexplainthatthecompositionoftheexplosivedifferedsomateriallyfromthatofthefoodthatitwouldbealmostimpossibleforanymothertotaketheonefortheother，whenourhostessrose。”
“Mr。Tophammusthavebeendisappointed。Asademonstratoroftheobvioushehasprobablynoequalevenamongtheunder-secretaries。Youdiscussedhimprettyfreelyinthedrawingroomafterward，Imayventuretosuggest。”
“No；wediscussedyou，Mr。Courtland。”
“Amostunprofitabletopic。Fromwhatstandpoint——dynamitemassacres?“
“Fromthestandpointofheredity，ofcourse。Canyouimagineanytopicbeingdiscussedinadrawingroom，nowadays，fromanyotherstandpoint?Therewasadearoldladypresent，Mrs。Haddon，andshesaidshehadbeenafriendofyourmother\'s。”
“Soshewas；Irecollectherverywell。Ishouldliketogoseeher。”
“Shetoldusagreatdealaboutyourmother，andyoursister——asistertowhomyouweregreatlyattached。”
Phyllis\'voicehadbecomelowandserious；everytonesuggestedsympathy。
“Ihadsuchasister，“saidheslowly。Hiseyeswerenotturnedtowardher。TheywerefixeduponalittlemodelofSt。CatherineofSiena，——avirginamongtheclouds，——whichwassetinthepanelofanoldcabinetbesidehim。“Ihadsuchasister——Rosamund；sheisdead。”
“Mrs。Haddontoldusso，“saidPhyllis。“Shetalkedaboutyourmother，andyoursister，andoftheinfluencewhichtheyhadhaduponyourlife——yourcareer。”
“Theyarebothdead，“saidhe。
“Theydidnotlivetoseeyourtriumph；thatiswhatyourtonesuggests，“saidshe。“ThatiswhatMrs。Haddonsaid——thetearswereinhereyes——lastnight，Mr。Courtland。Iwishyoucouldhaveheardher。
Iwishyoucouldhaveheardwhatshesaidwhensomeonemadeacommonplaceremarkastohowsaditwastheyweredead。”
“Whatdidshesay，MissAyrton?“
“Shesaid，\'No，no；pleasedonottalkaboutdeathovertakingsuchasthey。Themother，whotransmitshernaturetotheson，renewsherlifeinhim；itisnothe，buthismother，wholives。\'Andthensheasked，\'DoyousupposethatHerbertCourtlandeversetsoutonanyofhisgreatenterpriseswithoutthinkingofhismotherandsister，withoutfeelingthathemustdosomethingworthyofthem，somethingfortheirsake?Andyoutalkofthemasiftheyweredead——asiftheyhadpassedawayforeverfromtheconcernsofearth！\'Thatiswhatshesaid，Mr。
Courtland。”
Hehadbentforwardonhislowseat，andwasleaninghisheadononeofhishands。Hehadhiseyesfixedontheparquetofthefloor。Hewasmotionless。Hedidnotspeakaword。
“Mrs。Haddonsaidsomethingmore，“Phylliscontinued，afterapause。
Hervoicehadfallenstillanothertone。“\'Yes，\'shesaid，asifmusing，\'dead——dead！Amanisashismotherhasmadehim。Heiswithherfromthemomentsheloveshisfather。Sheisevermorethinkingofhim；heisprecioustoherbeforethemysteryofhisbirthisrevealedtoher。Hegrowsupbyherside，andlovesherbecauseheknowsthatsheunderstandshim。Shedoesunderstandhim，andsheunderstandshisfatherbetterbyunderstandingherson。\'Shesaidthat，Mr。Courtland，andIfeltthatshehadspokenoneofthegreatesttruthsofthismysteriouslifeofours。Thenshesaid，\'HerbertCourtlandisamanwhohaslivedwithhonortohimself，withhonortothememoryofhismother，andofhissister，whomheloved。Heisaman，andhehasnotmerelyattaineddistinctionintheworld；ifheiswithoutfear，heisalsowithoutreproach；andaskhimifhehasnotbeenstrengthenedinhisfightwithwhateverofbasemayhaverisenupwithinhim，beingaman，fromdaytoday，bythethoughtthathissisterisonewithhim；
thathispurityofheartandofactisthepurityofhismotherandhissister，uponwhichnostainmustevercome。\'Thatwasallshesaid，Mr。Courtland。”
Therewasalongpauseaftershehadspoken。Hesattherewithhisheadbent，hisfingersinterlaced。Hehadhiseyesfixeduponthefloor。HiscupofteastooduntastedbesidehimonalittleAlgeriantable。
Andshe——asshelookedathimhersofteyesbecamedimwithtears。Sheknewthatthewordswhichshehadspoken，thewordswhichshehadrepeatedastheywerespokenbytheladywhomshehadmetthepreviousnight，hadawakenedmanymemorieswithinhim。Shetoohadhermemories。Sheknewthattherewasacertaingratefulnessinthemidstofthebitternessofsuchmemories。
Thatwasallsheknew。
Andthetearscontinuedtowelluptohereyesuntilshewasawarethathehadrisenfromhisseatandwasstandinginfrontofher。Shedrewherhandacrosshereyes。Shesawamovementinhislips。Theyweretrembling，butnosoundcamefromthem。Thehandthathestretchedouttoherwastremblingalso。Sheputherownintoit。Heheldherhandtightlyforamoment，thendroppeditsuddenlyandalmostfledfromtheroom，withoututteringaword。
Forafewmomentsshestoodwherehehadlefther，andthenshewenttoasofaandseatedherselfuponit。Thetearsthathadcometohereyesbefore，nowbegantofall；shethought，girlthatshewas，thatshecouldunderstandwhatwerethefeelingsofthemanwhohadjustpartedfromher。Shethoughtthathewasovercomeatthereflectionthatthedistinctionwhichhehadwonintheworldcouldnotbesharedbythosewhomheloved，thosewhowouldhavevaluedfarmorethanhedidthehonorthatwasbeingdonetohim。
Thepityofit！Oh，thepityofit！
EllahadtoldheronedaywhentheyhadtalkedtogetheraboutHerbertCourtland，thathehadnorelationalive，thathestoodaloneintheworld。Theinformationhadnotmeantmuchtoherthen；butwhenshehadheardMrs。Haddonspeakonthepreviouseveningabouthisattachmenttohismotherandhissister，sherememberedwhatEllahassaid，andherheartwasfullofpityforhim。ShehadmadeuphermindtotellhimallthatMrs。Haddonhadsaid，forsurelymoresympatheticwordshadneverbeenspoken；andheropportunityhadcomesoonerthansheexpected。TheirchattogetherhadlednaturallyuptoMrs。Haddon，andshehadbeenabletorepeattohimalmostwordforwordallthathismother\'sfriendhadsaid。
Herheartfeltforhim。Surelythesweetestrewardthatcancometoamanwhohastoiledandfoughtandconqueredwasdeniedtothemanwhohadjustpartedfromher。Hehadtoiledandconquered；butnotforhimwasthejoyofseeingprideonthefaceofthosewhoclaimedhimastheirkin。Hisfatherhadbeenkilledwhenhehadchargedwithabrigadethroughthelinesofastubbornenemy——everyoneknewthestory。Hismotherandsisterhaddiedwhenhewasbeginningtomakeanameforhimself。Hehadgoneforthfromthelonelinessofhishometothelonelinessofthetropicalforest；andhehadreturnedtothelonelinessofLondon。
Shefeltthatshehaddonewelltorepeattohimthewordsofhismother\'sfriend。Thosewordshadaffectedhimdeeply。Theycouldnotbutbeasourceofcomforttohimwhenhewasoverwhelmedwiththethoughtofhisloneliness。Theywouldmakehimfeelthathispositionwasunderstoodbysomepeoplewhowereabletothinkofhimapartfromthegreatworkwhichhehadaccomplished。
Thusthemaidensatmusinginthesilentroomaftershehaddriedhertearsofpityforthemanwhoanhourbeforehadsauntereduptoherdoorthinking，notofthemelancholyisolationofhispositionintheworld，butsimplythattwohoursofthelongestdayofhislifemustpassbeforehecouldkissthelipsofthewomanwhohadgivenherselfuptohim。
Hermaidfoundherstillseatedonthesofa，andventuredtoremindherthattimewasfugitive，andthatifmademoisellestillretainedherintentionofgoingtoLadyEarlscourt\'sdinnerparty，——LadyEarlscourtwasgivingadinnerpartyapparentlyforthepurposeofcelebratingherhusband\'sdepartureforacruiseinNorwegianfjordsinhisyacht，——itwouldbeabsolutelynecessaryformademoiselletopermitherselftobedressedwithoutdelay。
Phyllissprangupwithalittlelaughthatsoundedlikealargesigh，andsaidifFidelewouldhavethekindnesstoswitchonthelightsinthedressingroom，shewouldnotbekeptwaitingamoment。
Themaidhurriedupstairs，andmademoisellerepairedtoanapartmentwhereshecouldremove，sofaraswaspossible，thefootmarksleftbythosetearswhichshehadshedwhenshehadreflecteduponthelonelinesstowhichMr。HerbertCourtlandwasdoomedfor(probably)
theremainderofhislife。
Mademoisellehadadreadoftheacutenessofvisionwithwhichhermaidwasendowed。ShewasnotaltogethersurethatFidelewouldbecapableofunderstandingtheemotionthathadforcedthosetearstohereyes。
Butthatwasjustwhereshewaswrong。Fidelewascapableofunderstandingthatparticularemotionagooddealbetterthanmademoiselleunderstoodit。
CHAPTERXIX。
THEYHAVESOULSTOBESAVED。
WhenLordEarlscourtwasathometheonlytwotopicsthatweredebarredfromthedinnertablewerereligionandpolitics；butwhenLordEarlscourtwasabsenttheseweretheonlytwotopicsadmittedatthedinnertable。LadyEarlscourthadviews，well-defined，clearlyoutlined，onbothreligionandpolitics，andshegreatlyregrettedthattherestillremainedsomepeopleintheworldwhoheldotherviewsonbothsubjects；itwasverysad——forthem；andshefeltthatitwasclearlyherdutytoendeavorbyallthelegitimatemeansinherpower——say，dinnerpartiesforeight——toreducethenumberofthesepersons。Itwasrumoredthatinthecountryshehadshownherselfreadytoeffectherexcellentobjectbyillegitimatemeans——say，jellyandflannelpetticoats——aswell。
Sheworedistinctlyevangelicalboots，though，intheabsenceofherhusband，shehadexpressedherwillingnesstodiscusstheadvantagesoftheconfessional。Shehad，however，declined，inthepresenceofherhusband，toentertainthedogmaofinfallibility:thoughsheadmittedthatthecardinalswereshowy；shewouldhavelikedoneaboutherhouse，say，asafootman。ShethoughttherewasagreatdealinBuddhism(shehadread“TheLightofAsia“nearlythrough)，andshebelievedthattheRev。GeorgeHollandhadbeenbadlytreatedbyPhyllisAyrton。Sheadmittedhavingbeenyoungonce——onlyonce；butnooneseemedtorememberitagainsther，soshewasobligedtotalkaboutitherself，whichshedidwiththelightnessofaseriouswomanofthirty-two。Whenamanhadassuredherthatshewasstillhandsome，shehadshakenherheaddeprecatingly，andhadignoredhisexistenceeverafter。ShehadherdoubtsregardingthejusticeofeternalpunishmentfortemporarylapsesintheWestEnd，butshesympathizedwiththemissionarywhosaid:“ThankGodwehavestillgotourhellintheEastEnd。”SheknewthatallmenarealikeinthesightofHeaven，butshethoughtthatthelicensingjusticesshouldbemoreparticular。
Shebelievedthatthereweresomegoodmen。
ShehadmorethanoncetalkedseriouslytoPhyllisonthesubjectofGeorgeHolland。Ofcourse，GeorgeHollandhadbeenindiscreet；theviewsexpressedinhisbookhadshockedhisbestfriends，butthinkhowfamousthatbookhadmadehim，inspiteofthepublicationofMr。
Courtland\'s“QuestoftheMeteor-Bird。”WasPhyllisnotactingunkindly，nottosayindiscreetly，inthrowingoveramanwho，itwasrumored，wasabouttostartanewreligion?Sheherself，LadyEarlscourtadmitted，hadbeenveryangrywithGeorgeHollandforwritingsomethingthatthenewspapersfoundittotheiradvantagetoabusesoheartily；andLordEarlscourt，beingasingularlysensitiveman，hadbeengreatlyworriedbythecommentswhichhadbeenpasseduponhisdiscriminationinintrustingtoaclergymanwhocouldbringhimselftowrite“RevisedVersions“acureofsuchimportantsoulsasweretobefoundatSt。Chad\'s。Hehad，infact，beensoharassed——hewasasingularlysensitiveman——thathehadfounditabsolutelynecessarytorunacrosstoParisfromtimetotimeforachangeofscene。(Thiswasperfectlytrue。LordEarlscourthadgonemorethanoncetoParisforachangeofscene，andhadfoundit；LadyEarlscourtwasthirty-two，andworeevangelicalboots。)But，ofcourse，sinceGeorgeHolland\'senterprisehadturnedoutsowellsocially，peoplewhoentertainedcouldnotbehardonhim。Therewasthenewreligiontobecountedupon。Itwasjustaslikelyasnotthathewouldactuallystartanewreligion，andyoucan\'tbeharduponamanwhostartsanewreligion。TherewasBuddha，forinstance，——thatwasalongtimeago，tobesure；butstilltherehewas，themostimportantfactortobeconsideredinattemptingtosolvethegreatquestionofthereconcilementofthereligionsoftheEast，——Buddha，andWesley，andEdwardIrving，andConfucius，andGeneralBooth；ifyoutookthemallseriouslywherewouldyoube?
“Oh，no，mydearPhyllis！“continuedLadyEarlscourt；“youmustnotpersistinyourill-treatmentofMr。Holland。Ifyoudohemaymarrysomeoneelse。”
Phyllisshookherhead。
“Ihopehewill，indeed，“saidshe。“Hecertainlywillnevermarryme。”
“Donotbeobdurate，“saidLadyEarlscourt。“Hemaynotreallybelieveinallthatheputintothatbook。”
“Thenthereisnoexcuseforhispublishingit，“saidPhyllispromptly。
“Butifhedoesn\'tactuallyholdtheviewswhichhehasformulatedinthatbook，youcannotconsistentlyrejecthimonthepleathatheisnotquite——well，notquitewhatyouandIcallorthodox。”
Thiscontentionwastooplaintobecombatedbythegirl。Shedidnotforamomentseeherwayoutoftheamazinglogicofthelady。Quiteaminutehadpassedbeforeshesaid:
“Ifhepropoundssuchviewswithouthavingafirmconvictionthattheyaretrue，hehasactedacontemptiblepart，LadyEarlscourt。Ithinkfartoohighlyofhimtoentertainforasinglemomenttheideathatheisnotsincere。”
“Butifyoubelievethatheissincere，whyshouldyousaythatyouwillnotmarryhim?“
“Iwouldnotmarryanatheist，howeversincerehemightbe。”
“Anatheist！ButMr。Hollandisnotanatheist；onthecontrary，heactuallybelievesthattherearetwoGods；oneworshipedoftheJewslongago，theotherbyusnowadays。Anatheist！Oh，no！“
“I\'mafraidthatIcan\'texplaintoyou，dearLadyEarlscourt。”
OncemorePhyllisshookherheadwithsomedegreeofsadness。Shefeltthatitwouldindeedbeimpossibleforhertoexplaintothisladyoflogicthatshebelievedthetruthtobeahorizonline，andthatanyopinionwhichwasalittleabovethislinewasasabhorrentasanythatwasalittlebelowit。
“Ifyouarestubborn，GodmaymarryyoutoaDissenteryet，“saidLadyEarlscourtsolemnly。
Phyllissmiledandshookherheadagain。
“Oh，youneedn\'tshakeyourhead，mydear，“resumedLadyEarlscourt。
“I\'veknownofsuchjudgmentsfallingongirlsbeforenow——yes，whentheDissenterswerewelloff。ButnoDissenterridesstraighttohounds。”
Phyllislaughed。
“Morelogic，“shesaid，andshookhandswithherfriend。
“Thatgirlhasanothermaninhereye，“saidherfriendsagaciously，whenPhyllishadleftheroppositeherowntea-table。“ButIdon\'tdespair；ifwecanonlypersuadeourbishoptoprosecuteGeorgeHolland，shemayreturntohimallright。”
SheinvariablyreferredtothebishopasifhewereamemberoftheEarlscourthousehold；butitwasunderstoodthatthebishophadneveractuallyacceptedtheresponsibilitiesincidentaltosuchaposition；
thoughhehadhisviewsonthesubjectofLadyEarlscourt\'scook。
ThisinterviewhadtakenplaceaweekbeforethedinnerpartyforwhichPhylliswascarefullydressedbyhermaidFidelewhileHerbertCourtlandwaswalkingawayfromthehouse。Inspiteofherlogic，LadyEarlscourtnowandagainstumbledacrossthetruth。WhenitoccurredtoherthatPhyllishadanothermaninhereye，——thephrasewasLadyEarlscourt\'sanditservedverywelltoexpresshermeaning，——shehadmadesomecarefulinquiriesonthesubjectofthegirl\'smalevisitors，andshehad，ofcourse，foundoutthatnoothermanoccupiedthatenviableposition；nosocialoculistwouldberequiredtoremovetheelementwhich，inLadyEarlscourt\'sestimation，causedPhyllis\'
visiontobedistorted。
GeorgeHollandwasatthedinner。PhyllishadbeenaskedveryquietlybythehostessifshewouldmindbeingtakeninbyGeorgeHolland；ifshehadtheleastfeelingonthematter，SirLionelGreatorexwouldnotmindtakingherinsteadofMrs。Vernon-Brooke。ButPhyllishadsaidthatofcourseshewouldbedelightedtositbesideMr。Holland。
Mr。Hollandwasoneofherbestfriends。
“Ishiscasesohopelessasthat?“saidLadyEarlscourt，inalowvoice，andPhyllissmiledinresponse——thesmileoftheguestwhenthehostesshadmadeapoint。
WhenLadyEarlscourthadindiscreetly，butconfidentially，explainedtosomeofhergueststhepreviousweekthatshemeantherlittledinnerpartytobethemeansofreunitingMr。HollandandMissAyrton，oneofthem——hewasaman——smiledandsaid，whenshehadgoneaway，thatshewasasingularlyunobservantwoman，orshewouldhaveknownthatthebestwayofbringingtwopeopletogetheristokeepthemasmuchapartaspossible。Therewaswisdomintheparadox，hedeclared；
foreveryoneshouldknowthatitwasonlywhenamanandawomanwerefarapartthattheycametoappreciateeachother。
Itseemed，indeed，thattherewassometruthinwhatthatmansaid，forPhyllis，beforetheicepuddingappeared，hadcometotheconclusionthatGeorgeHollandwasaveryuninterestingsortofman。
Tobesure，hehadnottalkedabouthimself，——hewasnotsuchafoolastodothat:hehadtalkedabouthertotheexclusionofalmosteveryothertopic——hehadbeenwiseenoughtodothat，——butinspiteofall，hehadnotsucceededinarousingherinterest。Hehadnotsucceededinmakingherthinkofthepresentwhenherthoughtshadbeendwellingonthepast——notthedistantpast，notthepastoftwomonthsago，whentheyhadbeenlovers，butthepastoftwohoursago，whenshehadwatchedtheeffectofherwordsuponHerbertCourtland。
ShechattedawaytoGeorgeHollandverypleasantly——aspleasantlyasusual——sopleasantlyastocausesomeofherfellow-gueststosmileandwhispersignificantlytooneanother，suggestingtheimpossibilityoftwopersonswhogotonsowelltogetherasMr。HollandandMissAyrtonbeingseparatedbyabarriersopaltryasanengagementbrokenoffbytheyoungwomanforconscience\'sake。
Butwhenthesignificantsmilesofthesepersonswereforceduponthenoticeoftheirhostess，shedidnotsmile；shewasaladywithareallyremarkablelackofknowledge；butsheknewbetterthantoacceptthepleasantchatofGeorgeHollandandPhyllisAyrtonasanindicationthatthe/statusquoantebellum/——tomakeuseoftheexpressivephraseofdiplomacy——hadbeenre-establishedbetweenthem。
OnlywhenGeorgeHollandventuredtoexpresshisadmirationofMr。
Ayrton\'sadroitnessindealingwiththefoolishquestionofthegentlemanfromWalesdidhesucceedininterestingMissAyrton。
“WhataveryfoolishletterthosemissionariessenthomeregardingtheexplorationsofMr。Courtland！“saidhe。“DidtheyhopetojeopardizethepopularityofMr。Courtlandbysuggestingthathehadmassacredanumberofcannibals?“
“Isupposethatwastheirobject，“saidPhyllis。
“Theymustbesingularlyfoolishpersons，evenformissionaries，“saidtheRev。GeorgeHolland。
“Evenformissionaries?“Phyllisrepeated。“Oh，Iforgotthatyouarenobelieverintheadvantagesofmissionstothepeoplewhomwecallheathen。ButIhavenotbeenabletobringmyselftoagreewithyouthere。Theyhavesoulstobesaved。”
“Thatisquitelikely，“saidhe。“Butthemethodsofthemissionaries，generallyspeaking，havenottendedinthatdirection。Hencethemissionaryasacomestibleismorehighlyesteemedbythenativesthanthemissionaryasareformer。Theyrarelyunderstandthenativesthemselves，andtheynearlyalwaysfailtomakethemselvesintelligibletothenatives。ItwouldappearthatthetwofoolishpersonswhowrotethatletteraboutMr。Courtlandmadebutapoorattemptatunderstandingeventheirowncountrymen，iftheyfanciedthatanyrumorofamassacreofcannibals——nay，anyproofofsuchamassacre——wouldhaveanappreciableeffectuponthepopularityofthemanwhobroughthomethemeteor-bird。”
“Youdon\'tthinkthatthepublicgenerallywouldbelievethestory?“
saidPhyllis。
“Ithinkitextremelyunlikelythattheywouldbelieveit，“hereplied。“ButeveniftheybelievedeverywordofittheywouldnotceasetobelieveinMr。Courtland\'sbravery。Whatisahecatombofcannibalscomparedtothediscoveryofthemeteor-bird，——thatis，intheeyesofthegeneralpublic，orforthatmatter，theNonconformistpublicwhoturnuptheireyesatthesuggestionofamassacreofnativesofanislandthatisalmostasunknowntothemasIrelanditself?Thepeopleofthiscountryofoursrespectbraverymorethananyothervirtue，andI\'mnotaltogethersurethattheyaregenerallyastrayinthismatter。TheChristianfaithisfoundeduponbravery，andthesamefaithhasinspiredcountlessactsofbravemenandwomen。
Oh，no！Mr。Courtlandwillnotsufferfromtheattacksofthesefoolishpersons。”
“Isawhimthis——ashorttimeago，“saidPhyllis，“andhetoldmethathispublishersweredelightedattheresultoftheagitationwhichthatnewspapertriedtogetupagainsthim:theysaiditwassellinghisbook。”
“IsawyoutalkingwithMr。Courtlandafterthefirstproductionof\'Cagliostro。\'Ienviedyou——andhim，“saidMr。Holland。“Iwonderifhewasreallyplacedintheunfortunatepositionofhavingtomassacreahordeofcannibals。”
Phyllislaughed，andforthwithtoldhimthetruthasithadbeencommunicatedtoherregardingthedynamiteoutrageupontheunsuspectingnatives，andGeorgeHollandwasgreatlyamusedatthestory——muchmorehighlyamused，itwouldhaveoccurredtosomepersons，thanaclergymanshouldbeatsucharecital。ButthenGeorgeHollandwasnotasotherclergymen。Hewasquitedevoidoftheaffectationsofhiscloth。Hedidnotconsideritnecessarytoputthetipsofhisfingerstogetherandshowmoreofthewhiteportionofthepupilofhiseyethanastraight-forwardgazeentailed，whenpeopletalkedoftheoverflowingofariverinChinaandtheconsequentdrowningofaquarterofamillionofmen——thatistosay，Chinamen。
HewasnomoreaffectedbysuchtidingsthantheEmperorofChina。Hewasinfinitelymoreaffectedwhenhereadofthecold-bloodedmassacrebyDavid，sometimeKingofIsrael，inordertopurchaseforhimselfawomanforwhomhehadconceivedaliking。HeknewthatthemajorityofclergymenconsideredittobetheirdutytopreachfuneralserviceoverthedrownedChinamen，andtoimpressupontheirhearersthatDavidwasamanafterGod\'sownheart。HealsoknewthatthemajorityofclergymenpreachedannualsermonsinaidofthemissionarieswhodidsomeyachtingintheSouthSeas，andhadbroughtintoexistencethesinofnakednessamongthenatives，inorderthattheymightbethemoreeasilyswindledbythoseChristianswhosoldthemshoddyforcalico，topurgethemoftheirsin。GeorgeHollandcouldnotseehiswaytofollowtheexampleofhisbrethreninthisrespect。HedidnotthinkthattheDayofJudgmentwouldwitnesstheinaugurationofanygreatschemeofeternalpunishmentfortheheatheninhisblindnesswhohadbeennakedallhislifewithoutknowingit。Heknewthattheheatheninhisblindnesshadcuriosityenoughathiscommandtoinquireofthemissionariesifthewhitebeachcomberandhisbottleofsquare-facerepresentedtheproductofcenturiesofChristianity，andiftheydidnot，whythemissionariesdidnotevangelizethebeachcomberandhisbottleoffthefaceoftheearth。
Phyllis，beingwellawareofGeorgeHolland\'sviews，wasnotshockedatthesoundofhislaughteratthetruestoryofMr。Courtland\'sdynamiteoutrageatNewGuinea；butallthesame，shewasgladthatshewasnotgoingtomarryhim。
Hehadnot，however，beenaltogetheruninterestinginhereyeswhilesittingbesideher，andthatwassomethingtorecordinhisfavor。
Shedrovehomeearly，andrunningupstairsfoundherselffacetofacewithEllaLinton。
