第7章

类别:其他 作者:Douglass Frederick字数:31884更新时间:18/12/20 10:23:18
Thisdetestablecharacter,allwereunwillingtoassume。EverymanexceptSandy(he,muchtoourregret,withdrew)stoodfirm; andatourlastmeetingwepledgedourselvesafresh,andinthemostsolemnmanner,that,atthetimeappointed,we_would_ certainlystartonourlongjourneyforafreecountry。Thismeetingwasinthemiddleoftheweek,attheendofwhichweweretostart。 Earlythatmorningwewent,asusual,tothefield,butwithheartsthatbeatquicklyandanxiously。Anyoneintimatelyacquaintedwithus,mighthaveseenthatallwasnotwellwithus,andthatsomemonsterlingeredinourthoughts。Ourworkthatmorningwasthesameasithadbeenforseveraldayspast—— drawingoutandspreadingmanure。Whilethusengaged,Ihadasuddenpresentiment,whichflasheduponmelikelightninginadarknight,revealingtothelonelytravelerthegulfbefore,andtheenemybehind。IinstantlyturnedtoSandyJenkins,whowasnearme,andsaidtohim,_“Sandy,wearebetrayed;_somethinghasjusttoldmeso。“Ifeltassureofit,asiftheofficerswerethereinsight。Sandysaid,“Man,datisstrange;butI feeljustasyoudo。“Ifmymother——thenlonginhergrave——hadappearedbeforeme,andtoldmethatwewerebetrayed,Icouldnot,atthatmoment,havefeltmorecertainofthefact。 Inafewminutesafterthis,thelong,lowanddistantnotesofthehornsummonedusfromthefieldtobreakfast。Ifeltasonemaybesupposedtofeelbeforebeingledforthtobeexecutedforsomegreatoffense。Iwantednobreakfast;butIwentwiththeotherslavestowardthehouse,forform\'ssake。Myfeelingswere<224>notdisturbedastotherightofrunningaway;onthatpointIhadnotrouble,whatever。Myanxietyarosefromasenseoftheconsequencesoffailure。 Inthirtyminutesafterthatvividpresentimentcametheapprehendedcrash。Onreachingthehouse,forbreakfast,andglancingmyeyetowardthelanegate,theworstwasatoncemadeknown。ThelanegateoffMr。Freeland\'shouse,isnearlyahalfmilefromthedoor,andshadedbytheheavywoodwhichborderedthemainroad。Iwas,however,abletodescryfourwhitemen,andtwocoloredmen,approaching。Thewhitemenwereonhorseback,andthecoloredmenwerewalkingbehind,andseemedtobetied。_“Itisalloverwithus,“_thoughtI,_“wearesurelybetrayed_。“Inowbecamecomposed,oratleastcomparativelyso,andcalmlyawaitedtheresult。Iwatchedtheill-omenedcompany,tillIsawthementerthegate。Successfulflightwasimpossible,andImadeupmymindtostand,andmeettheevil,whateveritmightbe;forIwasnotwithoutaslighthopethatthingsmightturndifferentlyfromwhatIatfirstexpected。Inafewmoments,incameMr。WilliamHamilton,ridingveryrapidly,andevidentlymuchexcited。Hewasinthehabitofridingveryslowly,andwasseldomknowntogallophishorse。Thistime,hishorsewasnearlyatfullspeed,causingthedusttorollthickbehindhim。Mr。Hamilton,thoughoneofthemostresolutemeninthewholeneighborhood,was,nevertheless,aremarkablymildspokenman;and,evenwhengreatlyexcited,hislanguagewascoolandcircumspect。Hecametothedoor,andinquiredifMr。 Freelandwasin。ItoldhimthatMr。Freelandwasatthebarn。 Offtheoldgentlemanrode,towardthebarn,withunwontedspeed。 Mary,thecook,wasatalosstoknowwhatwasthematter,andI didnotprofessanyskillinmakingherunderstand。Iknewshewouldhaveunited,asreadilyasanyone,incursingmeforbringingtroubleintothefamily;soIheldmypeace,leavingmatterstodevelopthemselves,withoutmyassistance。Inafewmoments,Mr。HamiltonandMr。Freelandcamedownfromthebarntothehouse;and,justasthey<225THEMANNEROFARRESTINGUS>madetheirappearanceinthefrontyard,threemen(whoprovedtobeconstables)camedashingintothelane,onhorseback,asifsummonedbyasignrequiringquickwork。Afewsecondsbroughtthemintothefrontyard,wheretheyhastilydismounted,andtiedtheirhorses。Thisdone,theyjoinedMr。FreelandandMr。 Hamilton,whowerestandingashortdistancefromthekitchen。A fewmomentswerespent,asifinconsultinghowtoproceed,andthenthewholepartywalkeduptothekitchendoor。TherewasnownooneinthekitchenbutmyselfandJohnHarris。HenryandSandywereyetatthebarn。Mr。Freelandcameinsidethekitchendoor,andwithanagitatedvoice,calledmebyname,andtoldmetocomeforward;thattherewassomegentlemenwhowishedtoseeme。Isteppedtowardthem,atthedoor,andaskedwhattheywanted,whentheconstablesgrabbedme,andtoldmethatIhadbetternotresist;thatIhadbeeninascrape,orwassaidtohavebeeninone;thattheyweremerelygoingtotakemewhereI couldbeexamined;thattheyweregoingtocarrymetoSt。 Michael\'s,tohavemebroughtbeforemymaster。Theyfurthersaid,that,incasetheevidenceagainstmewasnottrue,I shouldbeacquitted。Iwasnowfirmlytied,andcompletelyatthemercyofmycaptors。Resistancewasidle。Theywerefiveinnumber,armedtotheveryteeth。Whentheyhadsecuredme,theynextturnedtoJohnHarris,and,inafewmoments,succeededintyinghimasfirmlyastheyhadalreadytiedme。TheynextturnedtowardHenryHarris,whohadnowreturnedfromthebarn。 “Crossyourhands,“saidtheconstables,toHenry。“Iwon\'t“ saidHenry,inavoicesofirmandclear,andinamannersodetermined,asforamomenttoarrestallproceedings。“Won\'tyoucrossyourhands?“saidTomGraham,theconstable。“_NoI won\'t_,“saidHenry,withincreasingemphasis。Mr。Hamilton,Mr。 Freeland,andtheofficers,nowcameneartoHenry。Twooftheconstablesdrewouttheirshiningpistols,andsworebythenameofGod,thatheshouldcrosshishands,ortheywouldshoothimdown。Eachofthesehiredruffiansnowcockedtheirpistols,<226>and,withfingersapparentlyonthetriggers,presentedtheirdeadlyweaponstothebreastoftheunarmedslave,saying,atthesametime,ifhedidnotcrosshishands,theywould“blowhisd——dheartoutofhim。“ _“Shoot!shootme!“_saidHenry。“_Youcan\'tkillmebutonce_。 Shoot!——shoot!andbed——d。_Iwon\'tbetied_。“This,thebravefellowsaidinavoiceasdefiantandheroicinitstone,aswasthelanguageitself;and,atthemomentofsayingthis,withthepistolsathisverybreast,hequicklyraisedhisarms,anddashedthemfromthepunyhandsofhisassassins,theweaponsflyinginoppositedirections。Nowcamethestruggle。Allhandswasnowrusheduponthebravefellow,and,afterbeatinghimforsometime,theysucceededinoverpoweringandtyinghim。Henryputmetoshame;hefought,andfoughtbravely。JohnandIhadmadenoresistance。Thefactis,Ineverseemuchuseinfighting,unlessthereisareasonableprobabilityofwhippingsomebody。YettherewassomethingalmostprovidentialintheresistancemadebythegallantHenry。Butforthatresistance,everysoulofuswouldhavebeenhurriedofftothefarsouth。 JustamomentprevioustothetroublewithHenry,Mr。Hamilton_mildly_said——andthisgavemetheunmistakablecluetothecauseofourarrest——“Perhapswehadnowbettermakeasearchforthoseprotections,whichweunderstandFrederickhaswrittenforhimselfandtherest。“Hadthesepassesbeenfound,theywouldhavebeenpointblankproofagainstus,andwouldhaveconfirmedallthestatementsofourbetrayer。ThankstotheresistanceofHenry,theexcitementproducedbythescuffledrewallattentioninthatdirection,andIsucceededinflingingmypass,unobserved,intothefire。Theconfusionattendantuponthescuffle,andtheapprehensionoffurthertrouble,perhaps,ledourcaptorstoforego,forthepresent,anysearchfor_“thoseprotections“whichFrederickwassaidtohavewrittenforhiscompanions_;sowewerenotyetconvictedofthepurposetorunaway;anditwasevidentthattherewassomedoubt,onthepartofall,whetherwehadbeenguiltyofsuchapurpose。 <227THEUNIQUESPEECHOFMRS。FREELAND> Justaswewereallcompletelytied,andaboutreadytostarttowardSt。Michael\'s,andthencetojail,Mrs。BetseyFreeland(mothertoWilliam,whowasverymuchattached——afterthesouthernfashion——toHenryandJohn,theyhavingbeenrearedfromchildhoodinherhouse)cametothekitchendoor,withherhandsfullofbiscuits——forwehadnothadtimetotakeourbreakfastthatmorning——anddividedthembetweenHenryandJohn。Thisdone,theladymadethefollowingpartingaddresstome,lookingandpointingherbonyfingeratme。“Youdevil!youyellowdevil!ItwasyouthatputitintotheheadsofHenryandJohntorunaway。Butfor_you_,you_longleggedyellowdevil_,HenryandJohnwouldneverhavethoughtofrunningaway。“Igavetheladyalook,whichcalledforthascreamofmingledwrathandterror,assheslammedthekitchendoor,andwentin,leavingme,withtherest,inhandsasharshasherownbrokenvoice。 CouldthekindreaderhavebeenquietlyridingalongthemainroadtoorfromEaston,thatmorning,hiseyewouldhavemetapainfulsight。Hewouldhaveseenfiveyoungmen,guiltyofnocrime,savethatofpreferring_liberty_toalifeof_bondage_,drawnalongthepublichighway——firmlyboundtogether——trampingthroughdustandheat,bare-footedandbare-headed——fastenedtothreestronghorses,whoseriderswerearmedtotheteeth,withpistolsanddaggers——ontheirwaytoprison,likefelons,andsufferingeverypossibleinsultfromthecrowdsofidle,vulgarpeople,whoclusteredaround,andheartlesslymadetheirfailuretheoccasionforallmannerofribaldryandsport。AsIlookeduponthiscrowdofvilepersons,andsawmyselfandfriendsthusassailedandpersecuted,IcouldnothelpseeingthefulfillmentofSandy\'sdream。Iwasinthehandsofmoralvultures,andfirmlyheldintheirsharptalons,andwashurriedawaytowardEaston,inasouth-easterlydirection,amidthejeersofnewbirdsofthesamefeather,througheveryneighborhoodwepassed。 Itseemedtome(andthisshowsthegoodunderstandingbetweentheslaveholdersandtheirallies)thateverybodywemetknew<228>thecauseofourarrest,andwereout,awaitingourpassingby,tofeasttheirvindictiveeyesonourmiseryandtogloatoverourruin。Somesaid,_Ioughttobehanged_,andothers,_I oughttobeburnt_,others,Ioughttohavethe_“hide“_takenfrommyback;whilenoonegaveusakindwordorsympathizinglook,exceptthepoorslaves,whowereliftingtheirheavyhoes,andwhocautiouslyglancedatusthroughthepost-and-railfences,behindwhichtheywereatwork。Oursufferings,thatmorning,canbemoreeasilyimaginedthandescribed。Ourhopeswereallblasted,atablow。Thecruelinjustice,thevictoriouscrime,andthehelplessnessofinnocence,ledmetoask,inmyignoranceandweakness“WherenowistheGodofjusticeandmercy?Andwhyhavethesewickedmenthepowerthustotrampleuponourrights,andtoinsultourfeelings?“Andyet,inthenextmoment,cametheconsolingthought,_“Thedayofoppressorwillcomeatlast。“_OfonethingIcouldbeglad——notoneofmydearfriends,uponwhomIhadbroughtthisgreatcalamity,eitherbywordorlook,reproachedmeforhavingledthemintoit。Wewereabandofbrothers,andneverdearertoeachotherthannow。 Thethoughtwhichgaveusthemostpain,wastheprobableseparationwhichwouldnowtakeplace,incaseweweresoldofftothefarsouth,aswewerelikelytobe。Whiletheconstableswerelookingforward,HenryandI,beingfastenedtogether,couldoccasionallyexchangeaword,withoutbeingobservedbythekidnapperswhohadusincharge。“WhatshallIdowithmypass?“ saidHenry。“Eatitwithyourbiscuit,“saidI;“itwon\'tdototearitup。“WewerenownearSt。Michael\'s。Thedirectionconcerningthepasseswaspassedaround,andexecuted。_“Ownnothing!“_saidI。_“Ownnothing!“_waspassedaroundandenjoined,andassentedto。Ourconfidenceineachotherwasunshaken;andwewerequiteresolvedtosucceedorfailtogether——asmuchafterthecalamitywhichhadbefallenus,asbefore。 OnreachingSt。Michael\'s,weunderwentasortofexaminationatmymaster\'sstore,anditwasevidenttomymind,thatMaster<229THEDENIAL>Thomassuspectedthetruthfulnessoftheevidenceuponwhichtheyhadactedinarrestingus;andthatheonlyaffected,tosomeextent,thepositivenesswithwhichheassertedourguilt。Therewasnothingsaidbyanyofourcompany,whichcould,inanymanner,prejudiceourcause;andtherewashope,yet,thatweshouldbeabletoreturntoourhomes——iffornothingelse,atleasttofindouttheguiltymanorwomanwhohadbetrayedus。 Tothisend,wealldeniedthatwehadbeenguiltyofintendedflight。MasterThomassaidthattheevidencehehadofourintentiontorunaway,wasstrongenoughtohangus,inacaseofmurder。“But,“saidI,“thecasesarenotequal。Ifmurderwerecommitted,someonemusthavecommittedit——thethingisdone! Inourcase,nothinghasbeendone!Wehavenotrunaway。Whereistheevidenceagainstus?Wewerequietlyatourwork。“I talkedthus,withunusualfreedom,tobringouttheevidenceagainstus,forweallwanted,aboveallthings,toknowtheguiltywretchwhohadbetrayedus,thatwemighthavesomethingtangibleuponwhichtopourtheexecrations。Fromsomethingwhichdropped,inthecourseofthetalk,itappearedthattherewasbutonewitnessagainstus——andthatthatwitnesscouldnotbeproduced。MasterThomaswouldnottellus_who_hisinformantwas;butwesuspected,andsuspected_one_person_only_。 SeveralcircumstancesseemedtopointSANDYout,asourbetrayer。 Hisentireknowledgeofourplanshisparticipationinthem——hiswithdrawalfromus——hisdream,andhissimultaneouspresentimentthatwewerebetrayed——thetakingus,andtheleavinghim——werecalculatedtoturnsuspiciontowardhim;andyet,wecouldnotsuspecthim。Wealllovedhimtoowelltothinkit_possible_ thathecouldhavebetrayedus。Sowerolledtheguiltonothershoulders。 Wewereliterallydragged,thatmorning,behindhorses,adistanceoffifteenmiles,andplacedintheEastonjail。Weweregladtoreachtheendofourjourney,forourpathwayhadbeenthesceneofinsultandmortification。Suchisthepowerofpublic<230>opinion,thatitishard,evenfortheinnocent,tofeelthehappyconsolationsofinnocence,whentheyfallunderthemaledictionsofthispower。Howcouldweregardourselvesasintheright,whenallaboutusdenouncedusascriminals,andhadthepowerandthedispositiontotreatusassuch。 Injail,wewereplacedunderthecareofMr。JosephGraham,thesheriffofthecounty。Henry,andJohn,andmyself,wereplacedinoneroom,andHenryBailyandCharlesRoberts,inanother,bythemselves。Thisseparationwasintendedtodepriveusoftheadvantageofconcert,andtopreventtroubleinjail。 Onceshutup,anewsetoftormentorscameuponus。Aswarmofimps,inhumanshapetheslave-traders,deputyslave-traders,andagentsofslave-traders——thatgatherineverycountrytownofthestate,watchingforchancestobuyhumanflesh(asbuzzardstoeatcarrion)flockedinuponus,toascertainifourmastershadplacedusinjailtobesold。Suchasetofdebasedandvillainouscreatures,Ineversawbefore,andhopenevertoseeagain。Ifeltmyselfsurroundedasbyapackof_fiends_,freshfrom_perdition_。Theylaughed,leered,andgrinnedatus; saying,“Ah!boys,we\'vegotyou,havn\'twe?Soyouwereabouttomakeyourescape?Wherewereyougoingto?“Aftertauntingus,andpeeringatus,aslongastheyliked,theyonebyonesubjectedustoanexamination,withaviewtoascertainourvalue;feelingourarmsandlegs,andshakingusbytheshoulderstoseeifweweresoundandhealthy;impudentlyaskingus,“howwewouldliketohavethemformasters?“Tosuchquestions,wewere,verymuchtotheirannoyance,quitedumb,disdainingtoanswerthem。Forone,Idetestedthewhisky-bloatedgamblersinhumanflesh;andIbelieveIwasasmuchdetestedbytheminturn。Onefellowtoldme,“ifhehadme,hewouldcutthedeviloutofmeprettyquick。“ TheseNegrobuyersareveryoffensivetothegenteelsouthernChristianpublic。Theyarelookedupon,inrespectableMarylandsociety,asnecessary,butdetestablecharacters。Asaclass,they<231SLAVE-TRADERS>arehardenedruffians,madesuchbynatureandbyoccupation。Theirearsaremadequitefamiliarwiththeagonizingcryofoutragedandwoe-smittedhumanity。 Theireyesareforeveropentohumanmisery。Theywalkamiddesecratedaffections,insultedvirtue,andblastedhopes。Theyhavegrownintimatewithviceandblood;theygloatoverthewildestillustrationsoftheirsoul-damningandearth-pollutingbusiness,andaremoralpests。Yes;theyarealegitimatefruitofslavery;anditisapuzzletomakeoutacaseofgreatervillainyforthem,thanfortheslaveholders,whomakesuchaclass_possible_。TheyaremerehuckstersofthesurplusslaveproduceofMarylandandVirginiacoarse,cruel,andswaggeringbullies,whoseverybreathingisofblasphemyandblood。 Asidefromtheseslave-buyers,whoinfestedtheprison,fromtimetotime,ourquartersweremuchmorecomfortablethanwehadanyrighttoexpecttheywouldbe。Ourallowanceoffoodwassmallandcoarse,butourroomwasthebestinthejail——neatandspacious,andwithnothingaboutitnecessarilyremindingusofbeinginprison,butitsheavylocksandboltsandtheblack,ironlattice-workatthewindows。Wewereprisonersofstate,comparedwithmostslaveswhoareputintothatEastonjail。Buttheplacewasnotoneofcontentment。Bolts,barsandgratedwindowsarenotacceptabletofreedom-lovingpeopleofanycolor。 Thesuspense,too,waspainful。Everysteponthestairwaywaslistenedto,inthehopethatthecomerwouldcastarayoflightonourfate。WewouldhavegiventhehairoffourheadsforhalfadozenwordswithoneofthewaitersinSol。Lowe\'shotel。Suchwaiterswereinthewayofhearing,atthetable,theprobablecourseofthings。Wecouldseethemflittingaboutintheirwhitejacketsinfrontofthishotel,butcouldspeaktononeofthem。 Soonaftertheholidayswereover,contrarytoallourexpectations,Messrs。HamiltonandFreelandcameuptoEaston; nottomakeabargainwiththe“Georgiatraders,“nortosendusuptoAustinWoldfolk,asisusualinthecaseofrun-awaysalves,<232>buttoreleaseCharles,HenryHarris,HenryBailyandJohnHarris,fromprison,andthis,too,withouttheinflictionofasingleblow。Iwasnowleftentirelyaloneinprison。Theinnocenthadbeentaken,andtheguiltyleft。Myfriendswereseparatedfromme,andapparentlyforever。Thiscircumstancecausedmemorepainthananyotherincidentconnectedwithourcaptureandimprisonment。Thirty-ninelashesonmynakedandbleedingback,wouldhavebeenjoyfullyborne,inpreferencetothisseparationfromthese,thefriendsofmyyouth。Andyet,IcouldnotbutfeelthatIwasthevictimofsomethinglikejustice。Whyshouldtheseyoungmen,whowereledintothisschemebyme,sufferasmuchastheinstigator?Ifeltgladthattheywereleasedfromprison,andfromthedreadprospectofalife(ordeathIshouldrathersay)inthericeswamps。ItisduetothenobleHenry,tosay,thatheseemedalmostasreluctanttoleavetheprisonwithmeinit,ashewastobetiedanddraggedtoprison。Butheandtherestknewthatweshould,inallthelikelihoodsofthecase,beseparated,intheeventofbeingsold;andsincewewerenowcompletelyinthehandsofourowners,weallconcludeditwouldbebesttogopeaceablyhome。 Notuntilthislastseparation,dearreader,hadItouchedthoseprofounderdepthsofdesolation,whichitisthelotofslavesoftentoreach。Iwassolitaryintheworld,andalonewithinthewallsofastoneprison,lefttoafateoflife-longmisery。 Ihadhopedandexpectedmuch,formonthsbefore,butmyhopesandexpectationswerenowwitheredandblasted。TheeverdreadedslavelifeinGeorgia,LouisianaandAlabama——fromwhichescapeisnexttoimpossiblenow,inmyloneliness,staredmeintheface。Thepossibilityofeverbecominganythingbutanabjectslave,ameremachineinthehandsofanowner,hadnowfled,anditseemedtomeithadfledforever。Alifeoflivingdeath,besetwiththeinnumerablehorrorsofthecottonfield,andthesugarplantation,seemedtobemydoom。Thefiends,whorushedintotheprisonwhenwewerefirstputthere,continuedtovisitme,<233LEFTALONEINPRISON>andtoplymewithquestionsandwiththeirtantalizingremarks。Iwasinsulted,buthelpless; keenlyalivetothedemandsofjusticeandliberty,butwithnomeansofassertingthem。Totalktothoseimpsaboutjusticeandmercy,wouldhavebeenasabsurdastoreasonwithbearsandtigers。Leadandsteelaretheonlyargumentsthattheyunderstand。 Afterremaininginthislifeofmiseryanddespairaboutaweek,which,bytheway,seemedamonth,MasterThomas,verymuchtomysurprise,andgreatlytomyrelief,cametotheprison,andtookmeout,forthepurpose,ashesaid,ofsendingmetoAlabama,withafriendofhis,whowouldemancipatemeattheendofeightyears。Iwasgladenoughtogetoutofprison;butIhadnofaithinthestorythatthisfriendofCapt。Auldwouldemancipateme,attheendofthetimeindicated。Besides,I neverhadheardofhishavingafriendinAlabama,andItooktheannouncement,simplyasaneasyandcomfortablemethodofshippingmeofftothefarsouth。Therewasalittlescandal,too,connectedwiththeideaofoneChristiansellinganothertotheGeorgiatraders,whileitwasdeemedeverywayproperforthemtoselltoothers。IthoughtthisfriendinAlabamawasaninvention,tomeetthisdifficulty,forMasterThomaswasquitejealousofhisChristianreputation,howeverunconcernedhemightbeabouthisrealChristiancharacter。Intheseremarks,however,itispossiblethatIdoMasterThomasAuldinjustice。 Hecertainlydidnotexhausthispoweruponme,inthecase,butacted,uponthewhole,verygenerously,consideringthenatureofmyoffense。Hehadthepowerandtheprovocationtosendme,withoutreserve,intotheveryevergladesofFlorida,beyondtheremotesthopeofemancipation;andhisrefusaltoexercisethatpower,mustbesetdowntohiscredit。 AfterlingeringaboutSt。Michael\'safewdays,andnofriendfromAlabamamakinghisappearance,totakemethere,MasterThomasdecidedtosendmebackagaintoBaltimore,tolivewithhisbrotherHugh,withwhomhewasnowatpeace;possiblyhe<234>becamesobyhisprofessionofreligion,atthecamp-meetingintheBaySide。MasterThomastoldmethathewishedmetogotoBaltimore,andlearnatrade;andthat,ifIbehavedmyselfproperly,hewould_emancipatemeattwenty-five!_Thanksforthisonebeamofhopeinthefuture。Thepromisehadbutonefault;itseemedtoogoodtobetrue。 CHAPTERXX ApprenticeshipLifeNOTHINGLOSTBYTHEATTEMPTTORUNAWAY——COMRADESINTHEIROLD HOMES——REASONSFORSENDINGMEAWAY——RETURNTOBALTIMORE——CONTRAST BETWEENTOMMYANDTHATOFHISCOLOREDCOMPANION——TRIALSIN GARDINER\'SSHIPYARD——DESPERATEFIGHT——ITSCAUSES——CONFLICT BETWEENWHITEANDBLACKLABOR——DESCRIPTIONOFTHEOUTRAGE—— COLOREDTESTIMONYNOTHING——CONDUCTOFMASTERHUGH——SPIRITOF SLAVERYINBALTIMORE——MYCONDITIONIMPROVES——NEWASSOCIATIONS—— SLAVEHOLDER\'SRIGHTTOTAKEHISWAGES——HOWTOMAKEACONTENTED SLAVE。 Well!dearreader,Iamnot,asyoumayhavealreadyinferred,aloserbythegeneralupstir,describedintheforegoingchapter。 Thelittledomesticrevolution,notwithstandingthesuddensnubitgotbythetreacheryofsomebody——Idarenotsayorthinkwho——didnot,afterall,endsodisastrously,aswhenintheironcageatEaston,Iconceiveditwould。Theprospect,fromthatpoint,didlookaboutasdarkasanythatevercastitsgloomoverthevisionoftheanxious,out-looking,humanspirit。“Alliswellthatendswell。“Myaffectionatecomrades,HenryandJohnHarris,arestillwithMr。WilliamFreeland。CharlesRobertsandHenryBailyaresafeattheirhomes。Ihavenot,therefore,anythingtoregretontheiraccount。Theirmastershavemercifullyforgiventhem,probablyonthegroundsuggestedinthespiritedlittlespeechofMrs。Freeland,madetomejustbeforeleavingforthejail——namely:thattheyhadbeenalluredintothewickedschemeofmakingtheirescape,byme;andthat,butforme,theywouldneverhavedreamedofathingsoshocking! My<236>friendshadnothingtoregret,either;forwhiletheywerewatchedmorecloselyonaccountofwhathadhappened,theywere,doubtless,treatedmorekindlythanbefore,andgotnewassurancesthattheywouldbelegallyemancipated,someday,providedtheirbehaviorshouldmakethemdeserving,fromthattimeforward。Notablow,asIlearned,wasstruckanyoneofthem。AsforMasterWilliamFreeland,good,unsuspectingsoul,hedidnotbelievethatwewereintendingtorunawayatall。 Havinggiven——ashethought——nooccasiontohisboystoleavehim,hecouldnotthinkitprobablethattheyhadentertainedadesignsogrievous。This,however,wasnottheviewtakenofthematterby“Mas\'Billy,“asweusedtocallthesoftspoken,butcraftyandresoluteMr。WilliamHamilton。Hehadnodoubtthatthecrimehadbeenmeditated;andregardingmeastheinstigatorofit,hefranklytoldMasterThomasthathemustremovemefromthatneighborhood,orhewouldshootmedown。Hewouldnothaveonesodangerousas“Frederick“tamperingwithhisslaves。 WilliamHamiltonwasnotamanwhosethreatmightbesafelydisregarded。Ihavenodoubtthathewouldhaveprovedasgoodashisword,hadthewarninggivennotbeenpromptlytaken。Hewasfuriousatthethoughtofsuchapieceofhigh-handed_theft_,aswewereabouttoperpetratethestealingofourownbodiesandsouls!Thefeasibilityoftheplan,too,couldthefirststepshavebeentaken,wasmarvelouslyplain。Besides,thiswasa_new_idea,thisuseofthebay。Slavesescaping,untilnow,hadtakentothewoods;theyhadneverdreamedofprofaningandabusingthewatersofthenobleChesapeake,bymakingthemthehighwayfromslaverytofreedom。Herewasabroadroadofdestructiontoslavery,which,before,hadbeenlookeduponasawallofsecuritybyslaveholders。ButMasterBillycouldnotgetMr。Freelandtoseematterspreciselyashedid;norcouldhegetMasterThomassoexcitedashewashimself。 Thelatter——Imustsayittohiscredit——showedmuchhumanefeelinginhispartofthetransaction,andatonedformuchthathadbeenharsh,cruel<237CHANGEINLITTLETOMMY>andunreasonableinhisformertreatmentofmeandothers。Hisclemencywasquiteunusualandunlookedfor。“CousinTom“toldmethatwhileIwasinjail,MasterThomaswasveryunhappy;andthatthenightbeforehisgoinguptoreleaseme,hehadwalkedthefloornearlyallnight,evincinggreatdistress;thatverytemptingoffershadbeenmadetohim,bytheNegro-traders,buthehadrejectedthemall,sayingthat_moneycouldnottempthimtosellmetothefarsouth_。AllthisIcaneasilybelieve,forheseemedquitereluctanttosendmeaway,atall。Hetoldmethatheonlyconsentedtodoso,becauseoftheverystrongprejudiceagainstmeintheneighborhood,andthathefearedformysafetyifIremainedthere。 Thus,afterthreeyearsspentinthecountry,roughingitinthefield,andexperiencingallsortsofhardships,IwasagainpermittedtoreturntoBaltimore,theveryplace,ofallothers,shortofafreestate,whereImostdesiredtolive。Thethreeyearsspentinthecountry,hadmadesomedifferenceinme,andinthehouseholdofMasterHugh。“LittleTommy“wasnolonger_little_Tommy;andIwasnottheslenderladwhohadleftfortheEasternShorejustthreeyearsbefore。ThelovingrelationsbetweenmeandMas\'Tommywerebrokenup。Hewasnolongerdependentonmeforprotection,butfelthimselfa_man_,withotherandmoresuitableassociates。Inchildhood,hescarcelyconsideredmeinferiortohimselfcertainly,asgoodasanyotherboywithwhomheplayed;butthetimehadcomewhenhis_friend_ mustbecomehis_slave_。Sowewerecold,andweparted。Itwasasadthingtome,that,lovingeachotheraswehaddone,wemustnowtakedifferentroads。Tohim,athousandavenueswereopen。Educationhadmadehimacquaintedwithallthetreasuresoftheworld,andlibertyhadflungopenthegatesthereunto;butI,whohadattendedhimsevenyears,andhadwatchedoverhimwiththecareofabigbrother,fightinghisbattlesinthestreet,andshieldinghimfromharm,toanextentwhichhadinducedhismothertosay,“Oh!Tommyisalwayssafe,whenheiswith<238>Freddy,“mustbeconfinedtoasinglecondition。Hecouldgrow,andbecomeaMAN;Icouldgrow,thoughIcould_not_ becomeaman,butmustremain,allmylife,aminor——amereboy。 ThomasAuld,Junior,obtainedasituationonboardthebrig“Tweed,“andwenttosea。Iknownotwhathasbecomeofhim;hecertainlyhasmygoodwishesforhiswelfareandprosperity。 TherewerefewpersonstowhomIwasmoresincerelyattachedthantohim,andtherearefewintheworldIwouldbemorepleasedtomeet。 VerysoonafterIwenttoBaltimoretolive,MasterHughsucceededingettingmehiredtoMr。WilliamGardiner,anextensiveshipbuilderonFell\'sPoint。Iwasplacedheretolearntocalk,atradeofwhichIalreadyhadsomeknowledge,gainedwhileinMr。HughAuld\'sship-yard,whenhewasamasterbuilder。Gardiner\'s,however,provedaveryunfavorableplacefortheaccomplishmentofthatobject。Mr。Gardinerwas,thatseason,engagedinbuildingtwolargeman-of-warvessels,professedlyfortheMexicangovernment。ThesevesselsweretobelaunchedinthemonthofJuly,ofthatyear,and,infailurethereof,Mr。G。wouldforfeitaveryconsiderablesumofmoney。 So,whenIenteredtheship-yard,allwashurryanddriving。 Therewereintheyardaboutonehundredmen;oftheseaboutseventyoreightywereregularcarpenters——privilegedmen。 SpeakingofmyconditionhereIwrote,yearsago——andIhavenownoreasontovarythepictureasfollows: Therewasnotimetolearnanything。Everymanhadtodothatwhichheknewhowtodo。Inenteringtheship-yard,myordersfromMr。Gardinerwere,todowhateverthecarpenterscommandedmetodo。Thiswasplacingmeatthebeckandcallofaboutseventy-fivemen。Iwastoregardalltheseasmasters。Theirwordwastobemylaw。Mysituationwasamosttryingone。AttimesIneededadozenpairofhands。Iwascalledadozenwaysinthespaceofasingleminute。Threeorfourvoiceswouldstrikemyearatthesamemoment。Itwas——“Fred。,comehelpmetocantthistimberhere。““Fred。,comecarrythistimberyonder。“——“Fred。,bringthatrollerhere。“——“Fred。,gogetafreshcanofwater。“——“Fred。,comehelpsawofftheendofthistimber。“——“Fred。,goquickandgetthecrowbar。“——“Fred。,holdontheendofthisfall。“——“Fred。,gototheblacksmith\'sshop,andgetanewpunch。“——<239DESPERATEFIGHT> “Hurra,Fred。!runandbringmeacoldchisel。“——“Isay,Fred。,bearahand,andgetupafireasquickaslightningunderthatsteam-box。“——“Halloo,nigger!come,turnthisgrindstone。“—— “Come,come!move,move!and_bowse_thistimberforward。“——“I say,darkey,blastyoureyes,whydon\'tyouheatupsomepitch?“——“Halloo!halloo!halloo!“(Threevoicesatthesametime。)“Comehere!——Gothere!——Holdonwhereyouare!D——nyou,ifyoumove,I\'llknockyourbrainsout!“ Such,dearreader,isaglanceattheschoolwhichwasmine,during,thefirsteightmonthsofmystayatBaltimore。Attheendoftheeightmonths,MasterHughrefusedlongertoallowmetoremainwithMr。Gardiner。Thecircumstancewhichledtohistakingmeaway,wasabrutaloutrage,committeduponmebythewhiteapprenticesoftheship-yard。Thefightwasadesperateone,andIcameoutofitmostshockinglymangled。Iwascutandbruisedinsundryplaces,andmylefteyewasnearlyknockedoutofitssocket。Thefacts,leadingtothisbarbarousoutrageuponme,illustrateaphaseofslaverydestinedtobecomeanimportantelementintheoverthrowoftheslavesystem,andImay,thereforestatethemwithsomeminuteness。Thatphaseisthis: _theconflictofslaverywiththeinterestsofthewhitemechanicsandlaborersofthesouth_。Inthecountry,thisconflictisnotsoapparent;but,incities,suchasBaltimore,Richmond,NewOrleans,Mobile,&c。,itisseenprettyclearly。 Theslaveholders,withacraftinesspeculiartothemselves,byencouragingtheenmityofthepoor,laboringwhitemanagainsttheblacks,succeedsinmakingthesaidwhitemanalmostasmuchaslaveastheblackslavehimself。Thedifferencebetweenthewhiteslave,andtheblackslave,isthis:thelatterbelongsto_one_slaveholder,andtheformerbelongsto_all_theslaveholders,collectively。Thewhiteslavehastakenfromhim,byindirection,whattheblackslavehastakenfromhim,directly,andwithoutceremony。Bothareplundered,andbythesameplunderers。Theslaveisrobbed,byhismaster,ofallhisearnings,abovewhatisrequiredforhisbarephysicalnecessities;andthewhitemanisrobbedbytheslavesystem,ofthejustresultsofhislabor,becauseheisflunginto<240>competitionwithaclassoflaborerswhoworkwithoutwages。 Thecompetition,anditsinjuriousconsequences,will,oneday,arraythenonslaveholdingwhitepeopleoftheslavestates,againsttheslavesystem,andmakethemthemosteffectiveworkersagainstthegreatevil。Atpresent,theslaveholdersblindthemtothiscompetition,bykeepingalivetheirprejudiceagainsttheslaves,_asmen_——notagainstthem_asslaves_。Theyappealtotheirpride,oftendenouncingemancipation,astendingtoplacethewhiteman,onanequalitywithNegroes,and,bythismeans,theysucceedindrawingoffthemindsofthepoorwhitesfromtherealfact,that,bytherichslave-master,theyarealreadyregardedasbutasingleremovefromequalitywiththeslave。Theimpressioniscunninglymade,thatslaveryistheonlypowerthatcanpreventthelaboringwhitemanfromfallingtotheleveloftheslave\'spovertyanddegradation。Tomakethisenmitydeepandbroad,betweentheslaveandthepoorwhiteman,thelatterisallowedtoabuseandwhiptheformer,withouthinderance。But——asIhavesuggested——thisstateoffactsprevails_mostly_inthecountry。InthecityofBaltimore,therearenotunfrequentmurmurs,thateducatingtheslavestobemechanicsmay,intheend,giveslavemasterspowertodispensewiththeservicesofthepoorwhitemanaltogether。But,withcharacteristicdreadofoffendingtheslaveholders,thesepoor,whitemechanicsinMr。Gardiner\'sship-yard——insteadofapplyingthenatural,honestremedyfortheapprehendedevil,andobjectingatoncetoworktherebythesideofslaves——madeacowardlyattackuponthefreecoloredmechanics,saying_they_ wereeatingthebreadwhichshouldbeeatenbyAmericanfreemen,andswearingthattheywouldnotworkwiththem。Thefeelingwas,_really_,againsthavingtheirlaborbroughtintocompetitionwiththatofthecoloredpeopleatall;butitwastoomuchtostrikedirectlyattheinterestoftheslaveholders; and,thereforeprovingtheirservilityandcowardicetheydealttheirblowsonthepoor,coloredfreeman,andaimedtoprevent_him_fromservinghimself,intheeveningoflife,withthetrade<241CONFLICTBETWEENWHITEANDBLACKLABOR>withwhichhehadservedhismaster,duringthemorevigorousportionofhisdays。Hadtheysucceededindrivingtheblackfreemenoutoftheship-yard,theywouldhavedeterminedalsoupontheremovaloftheblackslaves。ThefeelingwasverybittertowardallcoloredpeopleinBaltimore,aboutthistime(1836),andthey——freeandslavesufferedallmannerofinsultandwrong。 UntilaverylittlebeforeIwentthere,whiteandblackshipcarpentersworkedsidebyside,intheshipyardsofMr。 Gardiner,Mr。Duncan,Mr。WalterPrice,andMr。Robb。Nobodyseemedtoseeanyimproprietyinit。Tooutwardseeming,allhandswerewellsatisfied。Someoftheblackswerefirstrateworkmen,andweregivenjobsrequiringhighestskill。Allatonce,however,thewhitecarpentersknockedoff,andsworethattheywouldnolongerworkonthesamestagewithfreeNegroes。 TakingadvantageoftheheavycontractrestinguponMr。Gardiner,tohavethewarvesselsforMexicoreadytolaunchinJuly,andofthedifficultyofgettingotherhandsatthatseasonoftheyear,theysworetheywouldnotstrikeanotherblowforhim,unlesshewoulddischargehisfreecoloredworkmen。 Now,althoughthismovementdidnotextendtome,_inform_,itdidreachme,_infact_。Thespiritwhichitawakenedwasoneofmaliceandbitterness,towardcoloredpeople_generally_,andI sufferedwiththerest,andsufferedseverely。Myfellowapprenticesverysoonbegantofeelittobedegradingtoworkwithme。Theybegantoputonhighlooks,andtotalkcontemptuouslyandmaliciouslyof_“theNiggers;“_saying,that“theywouldtakethecountry,“that“theyoughttobekilled。“ Encouragedbythecowardlyworkmen,who,knowingmetobeaslave,madenoissuewithMr。Gardineraboutmybeingthere,theseyoungmendidtheirutmosttomakeitimpossibleformetostay。Theyseldomcalledmetodoanything,withoutcouplingthecallwithacurse,andEdwardNorth,thebiggestineverything,rascalityincluded,venturedtostrikeme,whereuponI pickedhimup,andthrew<242>himintothedock。Wheneveranyofthemstruckme,Istruckbackagain,regardlessofconsequences。 Icouldmanageanyofthem_singly_,and,whileIcouldkeepthemfromcombining,Isucceededverywell。IntheconflictwhichendedmystayatMr。Gardiner\'s,Iwasbesetbyfourofthematonce——NedNorth,NedHays,BillStewart,andTomHumphreys。Twoofthemwereaslargeasmyself,andtheycamenearkillingme,inbroaddaylight。Theattackwasmadesuddenly,andsimultaneously。Onecameinfront,armedwithabrick;therewasoneateachside,andonebehind,andtheycloseduparoundme。 Iwasstruckonallsides;and,whileIwasattendingtothoseinfront,Ireceivedablowonmyhead,frombehind,dealtwithaheavyhand-spike。Iwascompletelystunnedbytheblow,andfell,heavily,ontheground,amongthetimbers。Takingadvantageofmyfall,theyrusheduponme,andbegantopoundmewiththeirfists。Iletthemlayon,forawhile,afterIcametomyself,withaviewofgainingstrength。Theydidmelittledamage,sofar;but,finally,gettingtiredofthatsport,Igaveasuddensurge,and,despitetheirweight,Irosetomyhandsandknees。JustasIdidthis,oneoftheirnumber(Iknownotwhich)plantedablowwithhisbootinmylefteye,which,foratime,seemedtohaveburstmyeyeball。Whentheysawmyeyecompletelyclosed,myfacecoveredwithblood,andIstaggeringunderthestunningblowstheyhadgivenme,theyleftme。AssoonasIgatheredsufficientstrength,Ipickedupthehand- spike,and,madlyenough,attemptedtopursuethem;butherethecarpentersinterfered,andcompelledmetogiveupmyfrenziedpursuit。Itwasimpossibletostandagainstsomany。 Dearreader,youcanhardlybelievethestatement,butitistrue,and,therefore,Iwriteitdown:notfewerthanfiftywhitemenstoodby,andsawthisbrutalandshamelessoutragecommitted,andnotamanofthemallinterposedasinglewordofmercy。Therewerefouragainstone,andthatone\'sfacewasbeatenandbatteredmosthorribly,andnoonesaid,“thatisenough;“butsomecriedout,“Killhim——killhim——killthed——d<243CONDUCTOFMASTERHUGH>nigger!knockhisbrainsout——hestruckawhiteperson。“Imentionthisinhumanoutcry,toshowthecharacterofthemen,andthespiritofthetimes,atGardiner\'sshipyard,and,indeed,inBaltimoregenerally,in1836。AsIlookbacktothisperiod,IamalmostamazedthatI wasnotmurderedoutright,inthatshipyard,somurderouswasthespiritwhichprevailedthere。Ontwooccasions,whilethere,Icamenearlosingmylife。Iwasdrivingboltsinthehold,throughthekeelson,withHays。Initscourse,theboltbent。 Hayscursedme,andsaidthatitwasmyblowwhichbentthebolt。 Ideniedthis,andchargedituponhim。Inafitofrageheseizedanadze,anddartedtowardme。Imethimwithamaul,andparriedhisblow,orIshouldhavethenlostmylife。AsonofoldTomLanman(thelatter\'sdoublemurderIhaveelsewherechargeduponhim),inthespiritofhismiserablefather,madeanassaultuponme,buttheblowwithhismaulmissedme。AftertheunitedassaultofNorth,Stewart,HaysandHumphreys,findingthatthecarpenterswereasbittertowardmeastheapprentices,andthatthelatterwereprobablysetonbytheformer,Ifoundmyonlychancesforlifewasinflight。Isucceededingettingaway,withoutanadditionalblow。Tostrikeawhiteman,wasdeath,byLynchlaw,inGardiner\'sshipyard;norwastheremuchofanyotherlawtowardcoloredpeople,atthattime,inanyotherpartofMaryland。ThewholesentimentofBaltimorewasmurderous。 Aftermakingmyescapefromtheshipyard,Iwentstraighthome,andrelatedthestoryoftheoutragetoMasterHughAuld;anditisduetohimtosay,thathisconduct——thoughhewasnotareligiousman——waseverywaymorehumanethanthatofhisbrother,Thomas,whenIwenttothelatterinasomewhatsimilarplight,fromthehandsof_“BrotherEdwardCovey。“_Helistenedattentivelytomynarrationofthecircumstancesleadingtotheruffianlyoutrage,andgavemanyproofsofhisstrongindignationatwhatwasdone。Hughwasarough,butmanly-heartedfellow,and,atthistime,hisbestnatureshoweditself。 <244> Theheartofmyoncealmostover-kindmistress,Sophia,wasagainmeltedinpitytowardme。Mypuffed-outeye,andmyscarredandblood-coveredface,movedthedearladytotears。Shekindlydrewachairbyme,andwithfriendly,consolingwords,shetookwater,andwashedthebloodfrommyface。Nomother\'shandcouldhavebeenmoretenderthanhers。Sheboundupmyhead,andcoveredmywoundedeyewithaleanpieceoffreshbeef。Itwasalmostcompensationforthemurderousassault,andmysuffering,thatitfurnishedandoccasionforthemanifestation,oncemore,oftheorignally{sic}characteristickindnessofmymistress。 Heraffectionateheartwasnotyetdead,thoughmuchhardenedbytimeandbycircumstances。 AsforMasterHugh\'spart,asIhavesaid,hewasfuriousaboutit;andhegaveexpressiontohisfuryintheusualformsofspeechinthatlocality。Hepouredcursesontheheadsofthewholeshipyardcompany,andsworethathewouldhavesatisfactionfortheoutrage。Hisindignationwasreallystrongandhealthy;but,unfortunately,itresultedfromthethoughtthathisrightsofproperty,inmyperson,hadnotbeenrespected,morethanfromanysenseoftheoutragecommittedonme_asaman_。Iinferredasmuchasthis,fromthefactthathecould,himself,beatandmanglewhenitsuitedhimtodoso。 Bentonhavingsatisfaction,ashesaid,justassoonasIgotalittlethebetterofmybruises,MasterHughtookmetoEsquireWatson\'soffice,onBondstreet,Fell\'sPoint,withaviewtoprocuringthearrestofthosewhohadassaultedme。Herelatedtheoutragetothemagistrate,asIhadrelatedittohim,andseemedtoexpectthatawarrantwould,atonce,beissuedforthearrestofthelawlessruffians。 Mr。Watsonhearditall,andinsteadofdrawinguphiswarrant,heinquired—— “Mr。Auld,whosawthisassaultofwhichyouspeak?“ “Itwasdone,sir,inthepresenceofashipyardfullofhands。“ “Sir,“saidWatson,“Iamsorry,butIcannotmoveinthismatterexceptupontheoathofwhitewitnesses。“ <245COLOREDTESTIMONYNOTHING> “Buthere\'stheboy;lookathisheadandface,“saidtheexcitedMasterHugh;_“they_show_what_hasbeendone。“ ButWatsoninsistedthathewasnotauthorizedtodoanything,unless_white_witnessesofthetransactionwouldcomeforward,andtestifytowhathadtakenplace。Hecouldissuenowarrantonmyword,againstwhitepersons;and,ifIhadbeenkilledinthepresenceofa_thousandblacks_,theirtestimony,combinedwouldhavebeeninsufficienttoarrestasinglemurderer。MasterHugh,foronce,wascompelledtosay,thatthisstateofthingswas_toobad;_andhelefttheofficeofthemagistrate,disgusted。 Ofcourse,itwasimpossibletogetanywhitemantotestifyagainstmyassailants。Thecarpenterssawwhatwasdone;buttheactorswerebuttheagentsoftheirmalice,andonlywhatthecarpenterssanctioned。Theyhadcried,withoneaccord,_“Killthenigger!““Killthenigger!“_Eventhosewhomayhavepitiedme,ifanysuchwereamongthem,lackedthemoralcouragetocomeandvolunteertheirevidence。Theslightestmanifestationofsympathyorjusticetowardapersonofcolor,wasdenouncedasabolitionism;andthenameofabolitionist,subjecteditsbearertofrightfulliabilities。“D——n_abolitionists,“_and_“Killtheniggers,“_werethewatch-wordsofthefoul-mouthedruffiansofthosedays。Nothingwasdone,andprobablytherewouldnothavebeenanythingdone,hadIbeenkilledintheaffray。ThelawsandthemoralsoftheChristiancityofBaltimore,affordednoprotectiontothesabledenizensofthatcity。 MasterHugh,onfindinghecouldgetnoredressforthecruelwrong,withdrewmefromtheemploymentofMr。Gardiner,andtookmeintohisownfamily,Mrs。Auldkindlytakingcareofme,anddressingmywounds,untiltheywerehealed,andIwasreadytogoagaintowork。 WhileIwasontheEasternShore,MasterHughhadmetwithreverses,whichoverthrewhisbusiness;andhehadgivenupshipbuildinginhisownyard,ontheCityBlock,andwasnowactingasforemanofMr。WalterPrice。Thebesthecouldnowdoforme,<246>wastotakemeintoMr。Price\'syard,andaffordmethefacilitiesthere,forcompletingthetradewhichIhadbegantolearnatGardiner\'s。HereIrapidlybecameexpertintheuseofmycalkingtools;and,inthecourseofasingleyear,IwasabletocommandthehighestwagespaidtojourneymencalkersinBaltimore。 ThereaderwillobservethatIwasnowofsomepecuniaryvaluetomymaster。Duringthebusyseason,Iwasbringingsixandsevendollarsperweek。Ihave,sometimes,broughthimasmuchasninedollarsaweek,forthewageswereadollarandahalfperday。 Afterlearningtocalk,Isoughtmyownemployment,mademyowncontracts,andcollectedmyownearnings;givingMasterHughnotroubleinanypartofthetransactionstowhichIwasaparty。 Here,then,werebetterdaysfortheEasternShore_slave_。I wasnowfreefromthevexatiousassalts{sic}oftheapprenticesatMr。Gardiner\'s;andfreefromtheperilsofplantationlife,andoncemoreinafavorableconditiontoincreasemylittlestockofeducation,whichhadbeenatadeadstandsincemyremovalfromBaltimore。Ihad,ontheEasternShore,beenonlyateacher,whenincompanywithotherslaves,butnowtherewerecoloredpersonswhocouldinstructme。Manyoftheyoungcalkerscouldread,writeandcipher。Someofthemhadhighnotionsaboutmentalimprovement;andthefreeones,onFell\'sPoint,organizedwhattheycalledthe_“EastBaltimoreMentalImprovementSociety。“_Tothissociety,notwithstandingitwasintendedthatonlyfreepersonsshouldattachthemselves,Iwasadmitted,andwas,severaltimes,assignedaprominentpartinitsdebates。Iowemuchtothesocietyoftheseyoungmen。 Thereaderalreadyknowsenoughofthe_ill_effectsofgoodtreatmentonaslave,toanticipatewhatwasnowthecaseinmyimprovedcondition。ItwasnotlongbeforeIbegantoshowsignsofdisquietwithslavery,andtolookaroundformeanstogetoutofthatconditionbytheshortestroute。Iwaslivingamong_free_<247MYCONDITIONIMPROVES>_men;_andwas,inallrespects,equaltothembynatureandbyattainments。_WhyshouldIbeaslave?_Therewas_no_reasonwhyIshouldbethethrallofanyman。 Besides,Iwasnowgetting——asIhavesaid——adollarandfiftycentsperday。Icontractedforit,workedforit,earnedit,collectedit;itwaspaidtome,anditwas_rightfully_myown; andyet,uponeveryreturningSaturdaynight,thismoney——myownhardearnings,everycentofit——wasdemandedofme,andtakenfrommebyMasterHugh。Hedidnotearnit;hehadnohandinearningit;why,then,shouldhehaveit?Iowedhimnothing。 Hehadgivenmenoschooling,andIhadreceivedfromhimonlymyfoodandraiment;andforthese,myservicesweresupposedtopay,fromthefirst。Therighttotakemyearnings,wastherightoftherobber。Hehadthepowertocompelmetogivehimthefruitsofmylabor,andthispowerwashisonlyrightinthecase。Ibecamemoreandmoredissatisfiedwiththisstateofthings;and,insobecoming,Ionlygaveproofofthesamehumannaturewhicheveryreaderofthischapterinmylife—— slaveholder,ornonslaveholder——isconsciousofpossessing。 Tomakeacontentedslave,youmustmakeathoughtlessone。Itisnecessarytodarkenhismoralandmentalvision,and,asfaraspossible,toannihilatehispowerofreason。Hemustbeabletodetectnoinconsistenciesinslavery。Themanthattakeshisearnings,mustbeabletoconvincehimthathehasaperfectrighttodoso。Itmustnotdependuponmereforce;theslavemustknownoHigherLawthanhismaster\'swill。Thewholerelationshipmustnotonlydemonstrate,tohismind,itsnecessity,butitsabsoluterightfulness。Iftherebeonecrevicethroughwhichasingledropcanfall,itwillcertainlyrustofftheslave\'schain。 CHAPTERXXI MyEscapefromSlaveryCLOSINGINCIDENTSOF“MYLIFEASASLAVE“——REASONSWHYFULL PARTICULARSOFTHEMANNEROFMYESCAPEWILLNOTBEGIVEN—— CRAFTINESSANDMALICEOFSLAVEHOLDERS——SUSPICIONOFAIDINGA SLAVE\'SESCAPEABOUTASDANGEROUSASPOSITIVEEVIDENCE——WANTOF WISDOMSHOWNINPUBLISHINGDETAILSOFTHEESCAPEOFTHE FUGITIVES——PUBLISHEDACCOUNTSREACHTHEMASTERS,NOTTHESLAVES—— SLAVEHOLDERSSTIMULATEDTOGREATERWATCHFULNESS——MYCONDITION—— DISCONTENT——SUSPICIONSIMPLIEDBYMASTERHUGH\'SMANNER,WHEN RECEIVINGMYWAGES——HISOCCASIONALGENEROSITY!——DIFFICULTIESIN THEWAYOFESCAPE——EVERYAVENUEGUARDED——PLANTOOBTAINMONEY——I AMALLOWEDTOHIREMYTIME——AGLEAMOFHOPE——ATTENDSCAMP- MEETING,WITHOUTPERMISSION——ANGEROFMASTERHUGHTHEREAT——THE RESULT——MYPLANSOFESCAPEACCELERATEDTHERBY——THEDAYFORMY DEPARTUREFIXED——HARASSEDBYDOUBTSANDFEARS——PAINFULTHOUGHTS OFSEPARATIONFROMFRIENDS——THEATTEMPTMADE——ITSSUCCESS。 Iwillnowmakethekindreaderacquaintedwiththeclosingincidentsofmy“LifeasaSlave,“havingalreadytrencheduponthelimitallottedtomy“LifeasaFreeman。“Before,however,proceedingwiththisnarration,itis,perhaps,properthatI shouldfranklystate,inadvance,myintentiontowithholdapartofthe{sic}connectedwithmyescapefromslavery。Therearereasonsforthissuppression,whichItrustthereaderwilldeemaltogethervalid。Itmaybeeasilyconceived,thatafullandcompletestatementofallfactspertainingtotheflightofabondman,mightimplicateandembarrasssomewhomayhave,wittinglyorunwittingly,assistedhim;andnoonecanwishmetoinvolveanymanor<249MANNEROFMYESCAPENOTGIVEN>womanwhohasbefriendedme,evenintheliabilityofembarrassmentortrouble。 Keenisthescentoftheslaveholder;likethefangsoftherattlesnake,hismaliceretainsitspoisonlong;and,althoughitisnownearlyseventeenyearssinceImademyescape,itiswelltobecareful,indealingwiththecircumstancesrelatingtoit。 WereItogivebutashadowyoutlineoftheprocessadopted,withcharacteristicaptitude,thecraftyandmaliciousamongtheslaveholdersmight,possibly,hituponthetrackIpursued,andinvolvesomeoneinsuspicionwhich,inaslavestate,isaboutasbadaspositiveevidence。Thecoloredman,there,mustnotonlyshunevil,butshunthevery_appearance_ofevil,orbecondemnedasacriminal。Aslaveholdingcommunityhasapeculiartasteforferretingoutoffensesagainsttheslavesystem,justicetherebeingmoresensitiveinitsregardforthepeculiarrightsofthissystem,thanforanyotherinterestorinstitution。Bystringingtogetheratrainofeventsandcircumstances,evenifIwerenotveryexplicit,themeansofescapemightbeascertained,and,possibly,thosemeansberendered,thereafter,nolongeravailabletotheliberty-seekingchildrenofbondageIhaveleftbehindme。Noantislaverymancanwishmetodoanythingfavoringsuchresults,andnoslaveholdingreaderhasanyrighttoexpecttheimpartmentofsuchinformation。 While,therefore,itwouldaffordmepleasure,andperhapswouldmateriallyaddtotheinterestofmystory,wereIatlibertytogratifyacuriositywhichIknowtoexistinthemindsofmany,astothemannerofmyescape,Imustdeprivemyselfofthispleasure,andthecuriousofthegratification,whichsuchastatementoffactswouldafford。Iwouldallowmyselftosufferunderthegreatestimputationsthatevilmindedmenmightsuggest,ratherthanexculpatemyselfbyexplanation,andtherebyrunthehazardsofclosingtheslightestavenuebywhichabrotherinsufferingmightclearhimselfofthechainsandfettersofslavery。 Thepracticeofpublishingeverynewinventionbywhicha<250>slaveisknowntohaveescapedfromslavery,hasneitherwisdomnornecessitytosustainit。HadnotHenryBoxBrownandhisfriendsattractedslaveholdingattentiontothemannerofhisescape,wemighthavehadathousand_BoxBrowns_perannum。ThesingularlyoriginalplanadoptedbyWilliamandEllenCrafts,perishedwiththefirstusing,becauseeveryslaveholderinthelandwasapprisedofit。The_saltwaterslave_whohungintheguardsofasteamer,beingwashedthreedaysandthreenights—— likeanotherJonah——bythewavesofthesea,has,bythepublicitygiventothecircumstance,setaspyontheguardsofeverysteamerdepartingfromsouthernports。 Ihaveneverapprovedoftheverypublicmanner,inwhichsomeofourwesternfriendshaveconductedwhat_they_callthe_“Under- groundRailroad,“_butwhich,Ithink,bytheiropendeclarations,hasbeenmade,mostemphatically,the_“Upper_- groundRailroad。“Itsstationsarefarbetterknowntotheslaveholdersthantotheslaves。Ihonorthosegoodmenandwomenfortheirnobledaring,inwillinglysubjectingthemselvestopersecution,byopenlyavowingtheirparticipationintheescapeofslaves;nevertheless,thegoodresultingfromsuchavowals,isofaveryquestionablecharacter。Itmaykindleanenthusiasm,verypleasanttoinhale;butthatisofnopracticalbenefittothemselves,nortotheslavesescaping。Nothingismoreevident,thanthatsuchdisclosuresareapositiveeviltotheslavesremaining,andseekingtoescape。Inpublishingsuchaccounts,theanti-slaverymanaddressestheslaveholder,_nottheslave;_hestimulatestheformertogreaterwatchfulness,andaddstohisfacilitiesforcapturinghisslave。Weowesomethingtotheslaves,southofMasonandDixon\'sline,aswellastothosenorthofit;and,indischargingthedutyofaidingthelatter,ontheirwaytofreedom,weshouldbecarefultodonothingwhichwouldbelikelytohindertheformer,inmakingtheirescapefromslavery。Suchismydetestationofslavery,thatIwouldkeepthemercilessslaveholderprofoundlyignorantofthemeansofflightadoptedbytheslave。He<251CRAFTINESS OFSLAVEHOLDERS>shouldbelefttoimaginehimselfsurroundedbymyriadsofinvisibletormentors,everreadytosnatch,fromhisinfernalgrasp,histremblingprey。Inpursuinghisvictim,lethimbelefttofeelhiswayinthedark;letshadesofdarkness,commensuratewithhiscrime,shuteveryrayoflightfromhispathway;andlethimbemadetofeel,that,ateverystephetakes,withthehellishpurposeofreducingabrothermantoslavery,heisrunningthefrightfulriskofhavinghishotbrainsdashedoutbyaninvisiblehand。 But,enoughofthis。Iwillnowproceedtothestatementofthosefacts,connectedwithmyescape,forwhichIamaloneresponsible,andforwhichnoonecanbemadetosufferbutmyself。 Myconditionintheyear(1838)ofmyescape,was,comparatively,afreeandeasyone,sofar,atleast,asthewantsofthephysicalmanwereconcerned;butthereaderwillbearinmind,thatmytroublesfromthebeginning,havebeenlessphysicalthanmental,andhewillthusbepreparedtofind,afterwhatisnarratedinthepreviouschapters,thatslavelifewasaddingnothingtoitscharmsforme,asIgrewolder,andbecamebetteracquaintedwithit。Thepractice,fromweektoweek,ofopenlyrobbingmeofallmyearnings,keptthenatureandcharacterofslaveryconstantlybeforeme。Icouldberobbedby_indirection_,butthiswas_too_openandbarefacedtobeendured。IcouldseenoreasonwhyIshould,attheendofeachweek,pourtherewardofmyhonesttoilintothepurseofanyman。Thethoughtitselfvexedme,andthemannerinwhichMasterHughreceivedmywages,vexedmemorethantheoriginalwrong。 Carefullycountingthemoneyandrollingitout,dollarbydollar,hewouldlookmeintheface,asifhewouldsearchmyheartaswellasmypocket,andreproachfullyaskme,“_Isthatall_?“——implyingthatIhad,perhaps,keptbackpartofmywages; or,ifnotso,thedemandwasmade,possibly,tomakemefeel,that,afterall,Iwasan“unprofitableservant。“Drainingmeofthelastcentofmyhardearnings,hewould,however,occasionally——whenIbrought<252>homeanextralargesum——doleouttomeasixpenceorashilling,withaview,perhaps,ofkindlingupmygratitude;butthispracticehadtheoppositeeffect——itwasanadmissionof_myrighttothewholesum_。Thefact,thathegavemeanypartofmywages,wasproofthathesuspectedthatIhadaright_tothewholeofthem_。Ialwaysfeltuncomfortable,afterhavingreceivedanythinginthisway,forIfearedthatthegivingmeafewcents,might,possibly,easehisconscience,andmakehimfeelhimselfaprettyhonorablerobber,afterall! Heldtoastrictaccount,andkeptunderaclosewatch——theoldsuspicionofmyrunningawaynothavingbeenentirelyremoved—— escapefromslavery,eveninBaltimore,wasverydifficult。TherailroadfromBaltimoretoPhiladelphiawasunderregulationssostringent,thateven_free_coloredtravelerswerealmostexcluded。Theymusthave_free_papers;theymustbemeasuredandcarefullyexamined,beforetheywereallowedtoenterthecars;theyonlywentinthedaytime,evenwhensoexamined。Thesteamboatswereunderregulationsequallystringent。Allthegreatturnpikes,leadingnorthward,werebesetwithkidnappers,aclassofmenwhowatchedthenewspapersforadvertisementsforrunawayslaves,makingtheirlivingbytheaccursedrewardofslavehunting。 Mydiscontentgrewuponme,andIwasonthelook-outformeansofescape。Withmoney,Icouldeasilyhavemanagedthematter,and,therefore,Ihitupontheplanofsolicitingtheprivilegeofhiringmytime。Itisquitecommon,inBaltimore,toallowslavesthisprivilege,anditisthepractice,also,inNewOrleans。Aslavewhoisconsideredtrustworthy,can,bypayinghismasteradefinitesumregularly,attheendofeachweek,disposeofhistimeashelikes。ItsohappenedthatIwasnotinverygoododor,andIwasfarfrombeingatrustworthyslave。 Nevertheless,IwatchedmyopportunitywhenMasterThomascametoBaltimore(forIwasstillhisproperty,Hughonlyactedashisagent)inthespringof1838,topurchasehisspringsupplyofgoods,<253ALLOWEDTOHIREMYTIME>andappliedtohim,directly,forthemuch-covetedprivilegeofhiringmytime。ThisrequestMasterThomasunhesitatinglyrefusedtogrant;andhechargedme,withsomesternness,withinventingthisstratagemtomakemyescape。Hetoldme,“Icouldgo_nowhere_buthecouldcatchme; and,intheeventofmyrunningaway,Imightbeassuredheshouldsparenopainsinhiseffortstorecaptureme。Herecounted,withagooddealofeloquence,themanykindofficeshehaddoneme,andexhortedmetobecontentedandobedient。 “Layoutnoplansforthefuture,“saidhe。“Ifyoubehaveyourselfproperly,Iwilltakecareofyou。“Now,kindandconsiderateasthisofferwas,itfailedtosoothemeintorepose。InspiteofMasterThomas,and,Imaysay,inspiteofmyself,also,Icontinuedtothink,andworsestill,tothinkalmostexclusivelyabouttheinjusticeandwickednessofslavery。 Noeffortofmineorofhiscouldsilencethistrouble-givingthought,orchangemypurposetorunaway。 AbouttwomonthsafterapplyingtoMasterThomasfortheprivilegeofhiringmytime,IappliedtoMasterHughforthesameliberty,supposinghimtobeunacquaintedwiththefactthatIhadmadeasimilarapplicationtoMasterThomas,andhadbeenrefused。Myboldnessinmakingthisrequest,fairlyastoundedhimatthefirst。Hegazedatmeinamazement。ButIhadmanygoodreasonsforpressingthematter;and,afterlisteningtothemawhile,hedidnotabsolutelyrefuse,buttoldmehewouldthinkofit。Here,then,wasagleamofhope。Oncemasterofmyowntime,IfeltsurethatIcouldmake,overandabovemyobligationtohim,adollarortwoeveryweek。Someslaveshavemadeenough,inthisway,topurchasetheirfreedom。Itisasharpspurtoindustry;andsomeofthemostenterprisingcoloredmeninBaltimorehirethemselvesinthisway。Aftermaturereflection——asImustsupposeitwasMasterHughgrantedmetheprivilegeinquestion,onthefollowingterms:Iwastobeallowedallmytime;tomakeallbargainsforwork;tofindmyownemployment,andtocollectmyownwages;and,<254>inreturnforthisliberty,Iwasrequired,orobliged,topayhimthreedollarsattheendofeachweek,andtoboardandclothemyself,andbuymyowncalkingtools。Afailureinanyoftheseparticularswouldputanendtomyprivilege。Thiswasahardbargain。Thewearandtearofclothing,thelosingandbreakingoftools,andtheexpenseofboard,madeitnecessaryformetoearnatleastsixdollarsperweek,tokeepevenwiththeworld。 Allwhoareacquaintedwithcalking,knowhowuncertainandirregularthatemploymentis。Itcanbedonetoadvantageonlyindryweather,foritisuselesstoputwetoakumintoaseam。 Rainorshine,however,workornowork,attheendofeachweekthemoneymustbeforthcoming。 MasterHughseemedtobeverymuchpleased,foratime,withthisarrangement;andwellhemightbe,foritwasdecidedlyinhisfavor。Itrelievedhimofallanxietyconcerningme。Hismoneywassure。Hehadarmedmyloveoflibertywithalashandadriver,farmoreefficientthananyIhadbeforeknown;and,whilehederivedallthebenefitsofslaveholdingbythearrangement,withoutitsevils,Ienduredalltheevilsofbeingaslave,andyetsufferedallthecareandanxietyofaresponsiblefreeman。“Nevertheless,“thoughtI,“itisavaluableprivilegeanotherstepinmycareertowardfreedom。“Itwassomethingeventobepermittedtostaggerunderthedisadvantagesofliberty,andIwasdeterminedtoholdontothenewlygainedfooting,byallproperindustry。Iwasreadytoworkbynightaswellasbyday;andbeingintheenjoymentofexcellenthealth,Iwasablenotonlytomeetmycurrentexpenses,butalsotolaybyasmallsumattheendofeachweek。 Allwentonthus,fromthemonthofMaytillAugust;then——forreasonswhichwillbecomeapparentasIproceed——mymuchvaluedlibertywaswrestedfromme。 Duringtheweekprevioustothis(tome)calamitousevent,Ihadmadearrangementswithafewyoungfriends,toaccompanythem,onSaturdaynight,toacamp-meeting,heldabouttwelvemilesfromBaltimore。Ontheeveningofourintendedstartfor<255I ATTENDCAMP-MEETING>thecamp-ground,somethingoccurredintheshipyardwhereIwasatwork,whichdetainedmeunusuallylate,andcompelledmeeithertodisappointmyyoungfriends,ortoneglectcarryingmyweeklyduestoMasterHugh。KnowingthatI hadthemoney,andcouldhandittohimonanotherday,Idecidedtogotocamp-meeting,andtopayhimthethreedollars,forthepastweek,onmyreturn。Onceonthecamp-ground,IwasinducedtoremainonedaylongerthanIhadintended,whenIlefthome。 But,assoonasIreturned,IwentstraighttohishouseonFellstreet,tohandhimhis(my)money。Unhappily,thefatalmistakehadbeencommitted。Ifoundhimexceedinglyangry。Heexhibitedallthesignsofapprehensionandwrath,whichaslaveholdermaybesurmisedtoexhibitonthesupposedescapeofafavoriteslave。“Yourascal!Ihaveagreatmindtogiveyouaseverewhipping。Howdareyougooutofthecitywithoutfirstaskingandobtainingmypermission?““Sir,“saidI,“Ihiredmytimeandpaidyouthepriceyouaskedforit。IdidnotknowthatitwasanypartofthebargainthatIshouldaskyouwhenorwhereI shouldgo。“ “Youdidnotknow,yourascal!YouareboundtoshowyourselfhereeverySaturdaynight。“Afterreflecting,afewmoments,hebecamesomewhatcooleddown;but,evidentlygreatlytroubled,hesaid,“Now,youscoundrel!youhavedoneforyourself;youshallhireyourtimenolonger。ThenextthingIshallhearof,willbeyourrunningaway。Bringhomeyourtoolsandyourclothes,atonce。I\'llteachyouhowtogooffinthisway。“ Thusendedmypartialfreedom。Icouldhiremytimenolonger; andIobeyedmymaster\'sordersatonce。ThelittletasteoflibertywhichIhadhad——althoughasthereaderwillhaveseen,itwasfarfrombeingunalloyed——bynomeansenhancedmycontentmentwithslavery。PunishedthusbyMasterHugh,itwasnowmyturntopunishhim。“Since,“thoughtI,“you_will_makeaslaveofme,Iwillawaityourordersinallthings;“and,insteadofgoingtolookforworkonMondaymorning,asIhad<256>formerlydone,Iremainedathomeduringtheentireweek,withouttheperformanceofasinglestrokeofwork。Saturdaynightcame,andhecalleduponme,asusual,formywages。I,ofcourse,toldhimIhaddonenowork,andhadnowages。Herewewereatthepointofcomingtoblows。Hiswrathhadbeenaccumulatingduringthewholeweek;forheevidentlysawthatI wasmakingnoefforttogetwork,butwasmostaggravatinglyawaitinghisorders,inallthings。AsIlookbacktothisbehaviorofmine,Iscarcelyknowwhatpossessedme,thustotriflewiththosewhohadsuchunlimitedpowertoblessortoblastme。MasterHughravedandsworehisdeterminationto_“getholdofme;“_but,wiselyfor_him_,andhappilyfor_me_,hiswrathonlyemployedthoseveryharmless,impalpablemissiles,whichrollfromalimbertongue。Inmydesperation,IhadfullymadeupmymindtomeasurestrengthwithMasterHugh,incaseheshouldundertaketoexecutehisthreats。Iamgladtherewasnonecessityforthis;forresistancetohimcouldnothaveendedsohappilyforme,asitdidinthecaseofCovey。Hewasnotamantobesafelyresistedbyaslave;andIfreelyown,thatinmyconducttowardhim,inthisinstance,therewasmorefollythanwisdom。MasterHughclosedhisreproofs,bytellingmethat,hereafter,Ineedgivemyselfnouneasinessaboutgettingwork; thathe“would,himself,seetogettingworkforme,andenoughofit,atthat。“ThisthreatIconfesshadsometerrorinit; and,onthinkingthematterover,duringtheSunday,Iresolved,notonlytosavehimthetroubleofgettingmework,butthat,uponthethirddayofSeptember,Iwouldattempttomakemyescapefromslavery。Therefusaltoallowmetohiremytime,therefore,hastenedtheperiodofflight。Ihadthreeweeks,now,inwhichtoprepareformyjourney。 Onceresolved,Ifeltacertaindegreeofrepose,andonMonday,insteadofwaitingforMasterHughtoseekemploymentforme,I wasupbybreakofday,andofftotheshipyardofMr。Butler,ontheCityBlock,nearthedraw-bridge。Iwasafavorite<257 PAINFULTHOUGHTSOFSEPARATION>withMr。B。,and,youngasIwas,Ihadservedashisforemanonthefloatstage,atcalking。Ofcourse,Ieasilyobtainedwork,and,attheendoftheweek—— whichbythewaywasexceedinglyfineIbroughtMasterHughnearlyninedollars。Theeffectofthismarkofreturninggoodsense,onmypart,wasexcellent。Hewasverymuchpleased;hetookthemoney,commendedme,andtoldmeImighthavedonethesamethingtheweekbefore。Itisablessedthingthatthetyrantmaynotalwaysknowthethoughtsandpurposesofhisvictim。MasterHughlittleknewwhatmyplanswere。Thegoingtocamp-meetingwithoutaskinghispermission——theinsolentanswersmadetohisreproaches——thesulkydeportmenttheweekafterbeingdeprivedoftheprivilegeofhiringmytime——hadawakenedinhimthesuspicionthatImightbecherishingdisloyalpurposes。Myobject,therefore,inworkingsteadily,wastoremovesuspicion,andinthisIsucceededadmirably。HeprobablythoughtIwasneverbettersatisfiedwithmycondition,thanattheverytimeIwasplanningmyescape。Thesecondweekpassed,andagainIcarriedhimmyfullweek\'swages——_ninedollars;_andsowellpleasedwashe,thathegavemeTWENTY-FIVECENTS!and“badememakegooduseofit!“ItoldhimIwould,foroneoftheusestowhichImeanttoputit,wastopaymyfareontheundergroundrailroad。 Thingswithoutwentonasusual;butIwaspassingthroughthesameinternalexcitementandanxietywhichIhadexperiencedtwoyearsandahalfbefore。Thefailure,inthatinstance,wasnotcalculatedtoincreasemyconfidenceinthesuccessofthis,mysecondattempt;andIknewthatasecondfailurecouldnotleavemewheremyfirstdid——Imusteithergettothe_farnorth_,orbesenttothe_farsouth_。Besidestheexerciseofmindfromthisstateoffacts,Ihadthepainfulsensationofbeingabouttoseparatefromacircleofhonestandwarmheartedfriends,inBaltimore。Thethoughtofsuchaseparation,wherethehopeofevermeetingagainisexcluded,andwheretherecanbenocorrespondence,isverypainful。Itismyopinion,thatthousandswouldescapefrom<258>slaverywhonowremainthere,butforthestrongcordsofaffectionthatbindthemtotheirfamilies,relativesandfriends。Thedaughterishinderedfromescaping,bytheloveshebearshermother,andthefather,bythelovehebearshischildren;andso,totheendofthechapter。IhadnorelationsinBaltimore,andIsawnoprobabilityofeverlivingintheneighborhoodofsistersandbrothers;butthethoughtofleavingmyfriends,wasamongthestrongestobstaclestomyrunningaway。Thelasttwodaysoftheweek——FridayandSaturday——werespentmostlyincollectingmythingstogether,formyjourney。Havingworkedfourdaysthatweek,formymaster,Ihandedhimsixdollars,onSaturdaynight。 IseldomspentmySundaysathome;and,forfearthatsomethingmightbediscoveredinmyconduct,Ikeptupmycustom,andabsentedmyselfallday。OnMonday,thethirddayofSeptember,1838,inaccordancewithmyresolution,IbadefarewelltothecityofBaltimore,andtothatslaverywhichhadbeenmyabhorrencefromchildhood。 HowIgotaway——inwhatdirectionItraveled——whetherbylandorbywater;whetherwithorwithoutassistance——must,forreasonsalreadymentioned,remainunexplained。 LIFEAsaFREEMAN CHAPTERXXII LibertyAttainedTRANSITIONFROMSLAVERYTOFREEDOM——AWANDERERINNEWYORK—— FEELINGSONREACHINGTHATCITY——ANOLDACQUAINTANCEMET—— UNFAVORABLEIMPRESSIONS——LONELINESSANDINSECURITY——APOLOGYFOR SLAVESWHORETURNTOTHEIRMASTERS——COMPELLEDTOTELLMY CONDITION——SUCCOREDBYASAILOR——DAVIDRUGGLES——THEUNDERGROUND RAILROAD——MARRIAGE——BAGGAGETAKENFROMME——KINDNESSOFNATHAN JOHNSON——MYCHANGEOFNAME——DARKNOTIONSOFNORTHERN CIVILIZATION——THECONTRAST——COLOREDPEOPLEINNEWBEDFORD——AN INCIDENTILLUSTRATINGTHEIRSPIRIT——ACOMMONLABORER——DENIEDWORK ATMYTRADE——THEFIRSTWINTERATTHENORTH——REPULSEATTHEDOORS OFTHECHURCH——SANCTIFIEDHATE——THE_Liberator_ANDITSEDITOR。 Thereisnonecessityforanyextendednoticeoftheincidentsofthispartofmylife。Thereisnothingverystrikingorpeculiaraboutmycareerasafreeman,whenviewedapartfrommylifeasaslave。TherelationsubsistingbetweenmyearlyexperienceandthatwhichIamnowabouttonarrate,is,perhaps,mybestapologyforaddinganotherchaptertothisbook。 Disappearingfromthekindreader,inaflyingcloudorballoon(pardonthefigure),drivenbythewind,andknowingnotwhereI shouldland——whetherinslaveryorinfreedom——itisproperthatIshouldremove,atonce,allanxiety,byfranklymakingknownwhereIalighted。Theflightwasaboldandperilousone;buthereIam,inthegreatcityofNewYork,safeandsound,withoutlossofbloodorbone。InlessthanaweekafterleavingBaltimore,Iwaswalkingamidthehurryingthrong,andgazinguponthedazzlingwondersofBroadway。Thedreams<262>ofmychildhoodandthepurposesofmymanhoodwerenowfulfilled。A freestatearoundme,andafreeearthundermyfeet!Whatamomentwasthistome!Awholeyearwaspressedintoasingleday。Anewworldburstuponmyagitatedvision。Ihaveoftenbeenasked,bykindfriendstowhomIhavetoldmystory,howI feltwhenfirstIfoundmyselfbeyondthelimitsofslavery;andImustsayhere,asIhaveoftensaidtothem,thereisscarcelyanythingaboutwhichIcouldnotgiveamoresatisfactoryanswer。 Itwasamomentofjoyousexcitement,whichnowordscandescribe。Inalettertoafriend,writtensoonafterreachingNewYork。IsaidIfeltasonemightbesupposedtofeel,onescapingfromadenofhungrylions。But,inamomentlikethat,sensationsaretoointenseandtoorapidforwords。Anguishandgrief,likedarknessandrain,maybedescribed,butjoyandgladness,liketherainbowofpromise,defyalikethepenandpencil。 FortenorfifteenyearsIhadbeendraggingaheavychain,withahugeblockattachedtoit,cumberingmyeverymotion。Ihadfeltmyselfdoomedtodragthischainandthisblockthroughlife。Allefforts,before,toseparatemyselffromthehatefulencumbrance,hadonlyseemedtorivetmethemorefirmlytoit。 Baffledanddiscouragedattimes,Ihadaskedmyselfthequestion,Maynotthis,afterall,beGod\'swork?MayHenot,forwiseends,havedoomedmetothislot?Acontesthadbeengoingoninmymindforyears,betweentheclearconsciousnessofrightandtheplausibleerrorsofsuperstition;betweenthewisdomofmanlycourage,andthefoolishweaknessoftimidity。