IV
THENEXTAFTERNOONIwalkedovertotheShimerdas\'。YulkashowedmethebabyandtoldmethatAntoniawasshockingwheatonthesouthwestquarter。
Iwentdownacrossthefields，andTonysawmefromalongwayoff。Shestoodstillbyhershocks，leaningonherpitchfork，watchingmeasIcame。
Wemetlikethepeopleintheoldsong，insilence，ifnotintears。
Herwarmhandclaspedmine。
`Ithoughtyou\'dcome，Jim。IheardyouwereatMrs。Steavens\'slastnight。
I\'vebeenlookingforyouallday。\'
ShewasthinnerthanIhadeverseenher，andlookedasMrs。Steavenssaid，`workeddown，\'buttherewasanewkindofstrengthinthegravityofherface，andhercolourstillgaveherthatlookofdeep-seatedhealthandardour。Still？Why，itflashedacrossmethatthoughsomuchhadhappenedinherlifeandinmine，shewasbarelytwenty-fouryearsold。
Antoniastuckherforkintheground，andinstinctivelywewalkedtowardthatunploughedpatchatthecrossingoftheroadsasthefittestplacetotalktoeachother。WesatdownoutsidethesaggingwirefencethatshutMr。Shimerda\'splotofffromtherestoftheworld。
Thetallredgrasshadneverbeencutthere。Ithaddieddowninwinterandcomeupagaininthespringuntilitwasasthickandshrubbyassometropicalgarden-grass。Ifoundmyselftellinghereverything:
whyIhaddecidedtostudylawandtogointothelawofficeofoneofmymother\'srelativesinNewYorkCity；aboutGastonCleric\'sdeathfrompneumonialastwinter，andthedifferenceithadmadeinmylife。
Shewantedtoknowaboutmyfriends，andmywayofliving，andmydearesthopes。
`Ofcourseitmeansyouaregoingawayfromusforgood，\'
shesaidwithasigh。`Butthatdon\'tmeanI\'llloseyou。
Lookatmypapahere；he\'sbeendeadalltheseyears，andyetheismorerealtomethanalmostanybodyelse。
Henevergoesoutofmylife。Italktohimandconsulthimallthetime。TheolderIgrow，thebetterIknowhimandthemoreIunderstandhim。\'
SheaskedmewhetherIhadlearnedtolikebigcities。
`I\'dalwaysbemiserableinacity。I\'ddieoflonesomeness。
IliketobewhereIknoweverystackandtree，andwhereallthegroundisfriendly。Iwanttoliveanddiehere。
FatherKellysayseverybody\'sputintothisworldforsomething，andIknowwhatI\'vegottodo。I\'mgoingtoseethatmylittlegirlhasabetterchancethaneverIhad。
I\'mgoingtotakecareofthatgirl，Jim。\'
ItoldherIknewshewould。`Doyouknow，Antonia，sinceI\'vebeenaway，Ithinkofyoumoreoftenthanofanyoneelseinthispartoftheworld。I\'dhavelikedtohaveyouforasweetheart，orawife，ormymotherormysister——anythingthatawomancanbetoaman。
Theideaofyouisapartofmymind；youinfluencemylikesanddislikes，allmytastes，hundredsoftimeswhenIdon\'trealizeit。
Youreallyareapartofme。\'
Sheturnedherbright，believingeyestome，andthetearscameupinthemslowly，`Howcanitbelikethat，whenyouknowsomanypeople，andwhenI\'vedisappointedyouso？
Ain\'titwonderful，Jim，howmuchpeoplecanmeantoeachother？
I\'msogladwehadeachotherwhenwewerelittle。
Ican\'twaittillmylittlegirl\'soldenoughtotellheraboutallthethingsweusedtodo。You\'llalwaysremembermewhenyouthinkaboutoldtimes，won\'tyou？AndIguesseverybodythinksaboutoldtimes，eventhehappiestpeople。\'
Aswewalkedhomewardacrossthefields，thesundroppedandlaylikeagreatgoldenglobeinthelowwest。
Whileithungthere，themoonroseintheeast，asbigasacart-wheel，palesilverandstreakedwithrosecolour，thinasabubbleoraghost-moon。Forfive，perhapstenminutes，thetwoluminariesconfrontedeachotheracrossthelevelland，restingonoppositeedgesoftheworld。
Inthatsingularlighteverylittletreeandshockofwheat，everysunflowerstalkandclumpofsnow-on-the-mountain，drewitselfuphighandpointed；
theveryclodsandfurrowsinthefieldsseemedtostandupsharply。
Ifelttheoldpulloftheearth，thesolemnmagicthatcomesoutofthosefieldsatnightfall。IwishedIcouldbealittleboyagain，andthatmywaycouldendthere。
Wereachedtheedgeofthefield，whereourwaysparted。
Itookherhandsandheldthemagainstmybreast，feelingoncemorehowstrongandwarmandgoodtheywere，thosebrownhands，andrememberinghowmanykindthingstheyhaddoneforme。
Iheldthemnowalongwhile，overmyheart。Aboutusitwasgrowingdarkeranddarker，andIhadtolookhardtoseeherface，whichImeantalwaystocarrywithme；theclosest，realestface，underalltheshadowsofwomen\'sfaces，attheverybottomofmymemory。
`I\'llcomeback，\'Isaidearnestly，throughthesoft，intrusivedarkness。
`Perhapsyouwill\'——Ifeltratherthansawhersmile。
`Butevenifyoudon\'t，you\'rehere，likemyfather。
SoIwon\'tbelonesome。\'
AsIwentbackaloneoverthatfamiliarroad，Icouldalmostbelievethataboyandgirlranalongbesideme，asourshadowsusedtodo，laughingandwhisperingtoeachotherinthegrass。
EndofBookIVBOOKVCuzak\'sBoys
I
ITOLDANTONIAIwouldcomeback，butlifeintervened，anditwastwenty
yearsbeforeIkeptmypromise。Iheardofherfromtimetotime；
thatshemarried，verysoonafterIlastsawher，ayoungBohemian，
acousinofAntonJelinek；thattheywerepoor，andhadalargefamily。
OncewhenIwasabroadIwentintoBohemia，andfromPragueIsent
Antoniasomephotographsofhernativevillage。Monthsafterwardcame
aletterfromher，tellingmethenamesandagesofhermanychildren，
butlittleelse；signed，`Youroldfriend，AntoniaCuzak。\'
WhenImetTinySoderballinSaltLake，shetoldmethatAntoniahadnot
`doneverywell\'；thatherhusbandwasnotamanofmuchforce，andshe
hadhadahardlife。Perhapsitwascowardicethatkeptmeawaysolong。
MybusinesstookmeWestseveraltimeseveryyear，anditwasalways
inthebackofmymindthatIwouldstopinNebraskasomedayandgo
toseeAntonia。ButIkeptputtingitoffuntilthenexttrip。
Ididnotwanttofindheragedandbroken；Ireallydreadedit。
Inthecourseoftwentycrowdedyearsonepartswithmanyillusions。
Ididnotwishtolosetheearlyones。Somememoriesarerealities，
andarebetterthananythingthatcaneverhappentooneagain。
IoweittoLenaLingardthatIwenttoseeAntoniaatlast。
IwasinSanFranciscotwosummersagowhenbothLenaandTiny
Soderballwereintown。Tinylivesinahouseofherown，
andLena\'sshopisinanapartmenthousejustaroundthecorner。
Itinterestedme，aftersomanyyears，toseethetwowomentogether。
TinyauditsLena\'saccountsoccasionally，andinvestshermoneyforher；
andLena，apparently，takescarethatTinydoesn\'tgrowtoomiserly。
`Ifthere\'sanythingIcan\'tstand，\'shesaidtomeinTiny\'spresence，
`it\'sashabbyrichwoman。\'TinysmiledgrimlyandassuredmethatLena
wouldneverbeeithershabbyorrich。`AndIdon\'twanttobe，\'
theotheragreedcomplacently。
LenagavemeacheerfulaccountofAntoniaandurgedmetomake
heravisit。
`Youreallyoughttogo，Jim。Itwouldbesuchasatisfactiontoher。
NevermindwhatTinysays。There\'snothingthematterwithCuzak。
You\'dlikehim。Heisn\'tahustler，butaroughmanwouldneverhave
suitedTony。Tonyhasnicechildren——tenorelevenofthembythistime，
Iguess。Ishouldn\'tcareforafamilyofthatsizemyself，butsomehow
it\'sjustrightforTony。She\'dlovetoshowthemtoyou。\'
OnmywayEastIbrokemyjourneyatHastings，inNebraska，
andsetoffwithanopenbuggyandafairlygoodliveryteam
tofindtheCuzakfarm。Atalittlepastmidday，IknewImust
benearingmydestination。Setbackonaswelloflandatmyright，
Isawawidefarm-house，witharedbarnandanashgrove，
andcattle-yardsinfrontthatslopeddowntothehighroad。
IdrewupmyhorsesandwaswonderingwhetherIshoulddriveinhere，
whenIheardlowvoices。Aheadofme，inaplumthicketbeside
theroad，Isawtwoboysbendingoveradeaddog。Thelittleone，
notmorethanfourorfive，wasonhisknees，hishandsfolded，
andhisclose-clipped，bareheaddroopingforwardindeepdejection。
Theotherstoodbesidehim，ahandonhisshoulder，andwas
comfortinghiminalanguageIhadnotheardforalongwhile。
WhenIstoppedmyhorsesoppositethem，theolderboytookhis
brotherbythehandandcametowardme。He，too，lookedgrave。
Thiswasevidentlyasadafternoonforthem。`AreyouMrs。Cuzak\'sboys？\'Iasked。
Theyoungeronedidnotlookup；hewassubmergedinhisownfeelings，
buthisbrothermetmewithintelligentgreyeyes。`Yes，sir。\'
`Doessheliveupthereonthehill？Iamgoingtoseeher。
Getinandrideupwithme。\'
Heglancedathisreluctantlittlebrother。`Iguesswe\'dbetterwalk。
Butwe\'llopenthegateforyou。\'
Idrovealongtheside-roadandtheyfollowedslowlybehind。
WhenIpulledupatthewindmill，anotherboy，barefootedand
curly-headed，ranoutofthebarntotiemyteamforme。
Hewasahandsomeone，thischap，fair-skinnedandfreckled，
withredcheeksandaruddypeltasthickasalamb\'swool，
growingdownonhisneckinlittletufts。Hetiedmyteam
withtwoflourishesofhishands，andnoddedwhenIaskedhim
ifhismotherwasathome。Asheglancedatme，hisface
dimpledwithaseizureofirrelevantmerriment，andheshotup
thewindmilltowerwithalightnessthatstruckmeasdisdainful。
IknewhewaspeeringdownatmeasIwalkedtowardthehouse。
Ducksandgeeseranquackingacrossmypath。Whitecatsweresunning
themselvesamongyellowpumpkinsontheporchsteps。Ilooked
throughthewirescreenintoabig，lightkitchenwithawhitefloor。
Isawalongtable，rowsofwoodenchairsagainstthewall，
andashiningrangeinonecorner。Twogirlswerewashing
dishesatthesink，laughingandchattering，andalittleone，
inashortpinafore，satonastoolplayingwitharagbaby。
WhenIaskedfortheirmother，oneofthegirlsdroppedhertowel，
ranacrossthefloorwithnoiselessbarefeet，anddisappeared。
Theolderone，whoworeshoesandstockings，cametothedoortoadmitme。
Shewasabuxomgirlwithdarkhairandeyes，calmandself-possessed。`Won\'tyoucomein？Motherwillbehereinaminute。\'
BeforeIcouldsitdowninthechairsheofferedme，themiracle
happened；oneofthosequietmomentsthatclutchtheheart，
andtakemorecouragethanthenoisy，excitedpassagesinlife。
Antoniacameinandstoodbeforeme；astalwart，brownwoman，
flat-chested，hercurlybrownhairalittlegrizzled。
Itwasashock，ofcourse。Italwaysis，tomeetpeople
afterlongyears，especiallyiftheyhavelivedasmuchand
ashardasthiswomanhad。Westoodlookingateachother。
Theeyesthatpeeredanxiouslyatmewere——simplyAntonia\'seyes。
IhadseennootherslikethemsinceIlookedintothemlast，
thoughIhadlookedatsomanythousandsofhumanfaces。
AsIconfrontedher，thechangesgrewlessapparenttome，
heridentitystronger。Shewasthere，inthefullvigour
ofherpersonality，batteredbutnotdiminished，lookingatme，
speakingtomeinthehusky，breathyvoiceIrememberedsowell。`Myhusband\'snotathome，sir。CanIdoanything？\'`Don\'tyourememberme，Antonia？HaveIchangedsomuch？\'
Shefrownedintotheslantingsunlightthatmadeherbrown
hairlookredderthanitwas。Suddenlyhereyeswidened，
herwholefaceseemedtogrowbroader。Shecaughtherbreath
andputouttwohard-workedhands。
`Why，it\'sJim！Anna，Yulka，it\'sJimBurden！\'
Shehadnosoonercaughtmyhandsthanshelookedalarmed。
`What\'shappened？Isanybodydead？\'Ipattedherarm。
`No。Ididn\'tcometoafuneralthistime。IgotoffthetrainatHastings
anddrovedowntoseeyouandyourfamily。\'
Shedroppedmyhandandbeganrushingabout。`Anton，Yulka，
Nina，whereareyouall？Run，Anna，andhuntfortheboys。
They\'reofflookingforthatdog，somewhere。AndcallLeo。
WhereisthatLeo！\'Shepulledthemoutofcornersandcame
bringingthemlikeamothercatbringinginherkittens。
`Youdon\'thavetogorightoff，Jim？Myoldestboy\'snothere。
He\'sgonewithpapatothestreetfairatWilber。Iwon\'tlet
yougo！You\'vegottostayandseeRudolphandourpapa。\'
Shelookedatmeimploringly，pantingwithexcitement。
WhileIreassuredherandtoldhertherewouldbeplentyoftime，
thebarefootedboysfromoutsidewereslippingintothekitchen
andgatheringabouther。`Now，tellmetheirnames，andhowoldtheyare。\'
Asshetoldthemoffinturn，shemadeseveralmistakesaboutages，
andtheyroaredwithlaughter。Whenshecametomylight-footed
friendofthewindmill，shesaid，`ThisisLeo，andhe\'soldenough
tobebetterthanheis。\'
Heranuptoherandbuttedherplayfullywithhiscurlyhead，
likealittleram，buthisvoicewasquitedesperate。
`You\'veforgot！Youalwaysforgetmine。It\'smean！
Pleasetellhim，mother！\'Heclenchedhisfistsinvexation
andlookedupatherimpetuously。
Shewoundherforefingerinhisyellowfleeceandpulledit，watchinghim。
`Well，howoldareyou？\'
`I\'mtwelve，\'hepanted，lookingnotatmebutather；`I\'mtwelveyearsold，
andIwasbornonEasterDay！\'Shenoddedtome。`It\'strue。HewasanEasterbaby。\'
Thechildrenalllookedatme，asiftheyexpectedme
toexhibitastonishmentordelightatthisinformation。
Clearly，theywereproudofeachother，andofbeingsomany。
Whentheyhadallbeenintroduced，Anna，theeldestdaughter，
whohadmetmeatthedoor，scatteredthemgently，andcame
bringingawhiteapronwhichshetiedroundhermother\'swaist。
`Now，mother，sitdownandtalktoMr。Burden。We\'llfinish
thedishesquietlyandnotdisturbyou。\'
Antonialookedabout，quitedistracted。`Yes，child，butwhydon\'twetake
himintotheparlour，nowthatwe\'vegotaniceparlourforcompany？\'
Thedaughterlaughedindulgently，andtookmyhatfromme。
`Well，you\'rehere，now，mother，andifyoutalkhere，YulkaandI
canlisten，too。Youcanshowhimtheparlourafterwhile。\'
Shesmiledatme，andwentbacktothedishes，withhersister。
Thelittlegirlwiththeragdollfoundaplaceonthebottomstep
ofanenclosedbackstairway，andsatwithhertoescurledup，
lookingoutatusexpectantly。
`She\'sNina，afterNinaHarling，\'Antoniaexplained。
`Ain\'thereyeslikeNina\'s？Ideclare，Jim，Ilovedyouchildren
almostasmuchasIlovemyown。Thesechildrenknowallabout
youandCharleyandSally，likeasifthey\'dgrownupwithyou。
Ican\'tthinkofwhatIwanttosay，you\'vegotmesostirredup。
Andthen，I\'veforgotmyEnglishso。Idon\'toftentalkit
anymore。ItellthechildrenIusedtospeakrealwell。\'
ShesaidtheyalwaysspokeBohemianathome。Thelittleones
couldnotspeakEnglishatall——didn\'tlearnituntilthey
wenttoschool。
`Ican\'tbelieveit\'syou，sittinghere，inmyownkitchen。
Youwouldn\'thaveknownme，wouldyou，Jim？You\'vekept
soyoung，yourself。Butit\'seasierforaman。Ican\'tsee
howmyAntonlooksanyolderthanthedayImarriedhim。
Histeethhavekeptsonice。Ihaven\'tgotmanyleft。
ButIfeeljustasyoungasIusedto，andIcandoasmuchwork。
Oh，wedon\'thavetoworksohardnow！We\'vegotplenty
tohelpus，papaandme。Andhowmanyhaveyougot，Jim？\'
WhenItoldherIhadnochildren，sheseemedembarrassed。
`Oh，ain\'tthattoobad！Maybeyoucouldtakeoneofmybadones，now？
ThatLeo；he\'stheworstofall。\'Sheleanedtowardmewithasmile。
`AndIlovehimthebest，\'shewhispered。`Mother！\'thetwogirlsmurmuredreproachfullyfromthedishes。
Antoniathrewupherheadandlaughed。`Ican\'thelpit。
YouknowIdo。Maybeit\'sbecausehecameonEasterDay，Idon\'tknow。
Andhe\'sneveroutofmischiefoneminute！\'
Iwasthinking，asIwatchedher，howlittleitmattered——
aboutherteeth，forinstance。Iknowsomanywomenwhohavekept
allthethingsthatshehadlost，butwhoseinnerglowhasfaded。
Whateverelsewasgone，Antoniahadnotlostthefireoflife。
Herskin，sobrownandhardened，hadnotthatlookofflabbiness，
asifthesapbeneathithadbeensecretlydrawnaway。
Whileweweretalking，thelittleboywhomtheycalledJancameinand
satdownonthestepbesideNina，underthehoodofthestairway。
Heworeafunnylongginghamapron，likeasmock，overhistrousers，
andhishairwasclippedsoshortthathisheadlookedwhiteandnaked。
Hewatchedusoutofhisbig，sorrowfulgreyeyes。
`Hewantstotellyouaboutthedog，mother。Theyfounditdead，\'
Annasaid，asshepassedusonherwaytothecupboard。
Antoniabeckonedtheboytoher。Hestoodbyherchair，
leaninghiselbowsonherkneesandtwistingherapronstringsinhis
slenderfingers，whilehetoldherhisstorysoftlyinBohemian，
andthetearsbrimmedoverandhungonhislonglashes。
Hismotherlistened，spokesoothinglytohimandinawhisper
promisedhimsomethingthatmadehimgiveheraquick，tearysmile。
HeslippedawayandwhisperedhissecrettoNina，sittingclose
toherandtalkingbehindhishand。
WhenAnnafinishedherworkandhadwashedherhands，
shecameandstoodbehindhermother\'schair。`Whydon\'twe
showMr。Burdenournewfruitcave？\'sheasked。
Westartedoffacrosstheyardwiththechildrenatourheels。
Theboyswerestandingbythewindmill，talkingaboutthedog；
someofthemranaheadtoopenthecellardoor。Whenwedescended，
theyallcamedownafterus，andseemedquiteasproudofthecave
asthegirlswere。
Ambrosch，thethoughtful-lookingonewhohaddirectedmedownbytheplum
bushes，calledmyattentiontothestoutbrickwallsandthecementfloor。
`Yes，itisagoodwayfromthehouse，\'headmitted。`But，yousee，inwinter
therearenearlyalwayssomeofusaroundtocomeoutandgetthings。\'
AnnaandYulkashowedmethreesmallbarrels；onefullofdillpickles，
onefullofchoppedpickles，andonefullofpickledwatermelonrinds。
`Youwouldn\'tbelieve，Jim，whatittakestofeedthemall！\'
theirmotherexclaimed。`Yououghttoseethebreadwebakeon
WednesdaysandSaturdays！It\'snowondertheirpoorpapacan\'t
getrich，hehastobuysomuchsugarforustopreservewith。
Wehaveourownwheatgroundforflour——butthenthere\'sthatmuch
lesstosell。\'
NinaandJan，andalittlegirlnamedLucie，keptshylypointingouttome
theshelvesofglassjars。Theysaidnothing，but，glancingatme，
tracedontheglasswiththeirfinger-tipstheoutlineofthecherries
andstrawberriesandcrabappleswithin，tryingbyablissfulexpression
ofcountenancetogivemesomeideaoftheirdeliciousness。
`Showhimthespicedplums，mother。Americansdon\'thavethose，\'
saidoneoftheolderboys。`Motherusesthemtomakekolaches，\'headded。Leo，inalowvoice，tossedoffsomescornfulremarkinBohemian。
Iturnedtohim。`YouthinkIdon\'tknowwhatkolachesare，eh？
You\'remistaken，youngman。I\'veeatenyourmother\'skolacheslong
beforethatEasterDaywhenyouwereborn。\'`Alwaystoofresh，Leo，\'Ambroschremarkedwithashrug。Leodivedbehindhismotherandgrinnedoutatme。
Weturnedtoleavethecave；AntoniaandIwentupthestairsfirst，
andthechildrenwaited。Wewerestandingoutsidetalking，
whentheyallcamerunningupthestepstogether，bigandlittle，
towheadsandgoldheadsandbrown，andflashinglittlenakedlegs；
averitableexplosionoflifeoutofthedarkcaveintothesunlight。
Itmademedizzyforamoment。
Theboysescortedustothefrontofthehouse，whichIhadn\'t
yetseen；infarm-houses，somehow，lifecomesandgoesbythe
backdoor。Theroofwassosteepthattheeaveswerenotmuch
abovetheforestoftallhollyhocks，nowbrownandinseed。
ThroughJuly，Antoniasaid，thehousewasburiedinthem；
theBohemians，Iremembered，alwaysplantedhollyhocks。
Thefrontyardwasenclosedbyathornylocusthedge，andat
thegategrewtwosilvery，mothliketreesofthemimosafamily。
Fromhereonelookeddownoverthecattle-yards，withtheir
twolongponds，andoverawidestretchofstubblewhichthey
toldmewasaryefieldinsummer。
Atsomedistancebehindthehousewereanashgroveandtwoorchards:
acherryorchard，withgooseberryandcurrantbushesbetweentherows，
andanappleorchard，shelteredbyahighhedgefromthehotwinds。
Theolderchildrenturnedbackwhenwereachedthehedge，butJanandNina
andLuciecreptthroughitbyaholeknownonlytothemselvesandhid
underthelow-branchingmulberrybushes。
Aswewalkedthroughtheappleorchard，grownupintallbluegrass，
Antoniakeptstoppingtotellmeaboutonetreeandanother。
`Ilovethemasiftheywerepeople，\'shesaid，rubbingherhand
overthebark。`Therewasn\'tatreeherewhenwefirstcame。
Weplantedeveryone，andusedtocarrywaterforthem，too——afterwe\'d
beenworkinginthefieldsallday。Anton，hewasacityman，
andheusedtogetdiscouraged。ButIcouldn\'tfeelsotired
thatIwouldn\'tfretaboutthesetreeswhentherewasadrytime。
Theywereonmymindlikechildren。Manyanightafterhewasasleep
I\'vegotupandcomeoutandcarriedwatertothepoorthings。
Andnow，yousee，wehavethegoodofthem。Mymanworkedin
theorangegrovesinFlorida，andheknowsallaboutgrafting。
Thereain\'toneofourneighbourshasanorchardthatbearslikeours。\'
Inthemiddleoftheorchardwecameuponagrapearbour，
withseatsbuiltalongthesidesandawarpedplanktable。
Thethreechildrenwerewaitingforusthere。Theylookedup
atmebashfullyandmadesomerequestoftheirmother。
`Theywantmetotellyouhowtheteacherhastheschoolpicnic
hereeveryyear。Thesedon\'tgotoschoolyet，sotheythinkit\'s
alllikethepicnic。\'
AfterIhadadmiredthearboursufficiently，theyoungstersranaway
toanopenplacewheretherewasaroughjungleofFrenchpinks，
andsquatteddownamongthem，crawlingaboutandmeasuringwithastring。
`Janwantstoburyhisdogthere，\'Antoniaexplained。
`Ihadtotellhimhecould。He\'skindoflikeNinaHarling；
yourememberhowhardsheusedtotakelittlethings？
Hehasfunnynotions，likeher。\'
Wesatdownandwatchedthem。Antonialeanedherelbowsonthetable。
Therewasthedeepestpeaceinthatorchard。Itwassurroundedbya
tripleenclosure；thewirefence，thenthehedgeofthornylocusts，
thenthemulberryhedgewhichkeptoutthehotwindsofsummer
andheldfasttotheprotectingsnowsofwinter。Thehedgeswere
sotallthatwecouldseenothingbuttheblueskyabovethem，
neitherthebarnroofnorthewindmill。Theafternoonsunpoured
downonusthroughthedryinggrapeleaves。Theorchardseemedfull
ofsun，likeacup，andwecouldsmelltheripeapplesonthetrees。
Thecrabshungonthebranchesasthickasbeadsonastring，
purple-red，withathinsilveryglazeoverthem。Somehensandducks
hadcreptthroughthehedgeandwerepeckingatthefallenapples。
Thedrakeswerehandsomefellows，withpinkishgreybodies，
theirheadsandneckscoveredwithiridescentgreenfeathers
whichgrewcloseandfull，changingtobluelikeapeacock\'sneck。
Antoniasaidtheyalwaysremindedherofsoldiers——someuniform
shehadseenintheoldcountry，whenshewasachild。
`Arethereanyquailleftnow？\'Iasked。Iremindedherhowshe
usedtogohuntingwithmethelastsummerbeforewemovedtotown。
`Youweren\'tabadshot，Tony。Doyourememberhowyouusedtowant
torunawayandgoforduckswithCharleyHarlingandme？\'
`Iknow，butI\'mafraidtolookatagunnow。\'Shepickedup
oneofthedrakesandruffledhisgreencapotewithherfingers。
`EversinceI\'vehadchildren，Idon\'tliketokillanything。
Itmakesmekindoffainttowringanoldgoose\'sneck。
Ain\'tthatstrange，Jim？\'
`Idon\'tknow。TheyoungQueenofItalysaidthesamethingonce，
toafriendofmine。Sheusedtobeagreathuntswoman，
butnowshefeelsasyoudo，andonlyshootsclaypigeons。\'`ThenI\'msureshe\'sagoodmother，\'Antoniasaidwarmly。
Shetoldmehowsheandherhusbandhadcomeouttothisnewcountry
whenthefarm-landwascheapandcouldbehadoneasypayments。
Thefirsttenyearswereahardstruggle。Herhusbandknew
verylittleaboutfarmingandoftengrewdiscouraged。
`We\'dneverhavegotthroughifIhadn\'tbeensostrong。
I\'vealwayshadgoodhealth，thankGod，andIwasabletohelphim
inthefieldsuntilrightuptothetimebeforemybabiescame。
Ourchildrenweregoodabouttakingcareofeachother。
Martha，theoneyousawwhenshewasababy，wassuch
ahelptome，andshetrainedAnnatobejustlikeher。
MyMartha\'smarriednow，andhasababyofherown。
Thinkofthat，Jim！
`No，Inevergotdown-hearted。Anton\'sagoodman，andIloved
mychildrenandalwaysbelievedtheywouldturnoutwell。
Ibelongonafarm。I\'mneverlonesomeherelikeIusedtobeintown。
YourememberwhatsadspellsIusedtohave，whenIdidn\'tknow
whatwasthematterwithme？I\'veneverhadthemouthere。
AndIdon\'tmindworkabit，ifIdon\'thavetoputupwithsadness。\'
Sheleanedherchinonherhandandlookeddownthroughtheorchard，
wherethesunlightwasgrowingmoreandmoregolden。`Yououghtnevertohavegonetotown，Tony，\'Isaid，wonderingather。Sheturnedtomeeagerly。
`Oh，I\'mgladIwent！I\'dneverhaveknownanythingaboutcooking
orhousekeepingifIhadn\'t。IlearnednicewaysattheHarlings\'，
andI\'vebeenabletobringmychildrenupsomuchbetter。
Don\'tyouthinktheyareprettywell-behavedforcountrychildren？
Ifithadn\'tbeenforwhatMrs。Harlingtaughtme，IexpectI\'dhave
broughtthemuplikewildrabbits。No，I\'mgladIhadachancetolearn；
butI\'mthankfulnoneofmydaughterswilleverhavetoworkout。
Thetroublewithmewas，Jim，Inevercouldbelieveharmof
anybodyIloved。\'
Whileweweretalking，Antoniaassuredmethatshe
couldkeepmeforthenight。`We\'veplentyofroom。
Twooftheboyssleepinthehaymowtillcoldweathercomes，
butthere\'snoneedforit。Leoalwaysbegstosleepthere，
andAmbroschgoesalongtolookafterhim。\'ItoldherIwouldliketosleepinthehaymow，withtheboys。
`Youcandojustasyouwantto。Thechestisfullofcleanblankets，
putawayforwinter。NowImustgo，ormygirlswillbedoingallthework，
andIwanttocookyoursuppermyself。\'
Aswewenttowardthehouse，wemetAmbroschandAnton，
startingoffwiththeirmilking-pailstohuntthecows。
Ijoinedthem，andLeoaccompaniedusatsomedistance，
runningaheadandstartingupatusoutofclumpsofironweed，
calling，`I\'majackrabbit，\'or，`I\'mabigbull-snake。\'
Iwalkedbetweenthetwoolderboys——straight，well-madefellows，
withgoodheadsandcleareyes。Theytalkedabouttheirschool
andthenewteacher，toldmeaboutthecropsandtheharvest，
andhowmanysteerstheywouldfeedthatwinter。Theywereeasy
andconfidentialwithme，asifIwereanoldfriendofthefamily——
andnottooold。Ifeltlikeaboyintheircompany，andallmanner
offorgotteninterestsrevivedinme。Itseemed，afterall，
sonaturaltobewalkingalongabarbed-wirefencebesidethesunset，
towardaredpond，andtoseemyshadowmovingalongatmyright，
overtheclose-croppedgrass。
`Hasmothershownyouthepicturesyousentherfromtheoldcountry？\'
Ambroschasked。`We\'vehadthemframedandthey\'rehungupintheparlour。
Shewassogladtogetthem。Idon\'tbelieveIeversawhersopleased
aboutanything。\'Therewasanoteofsimplegratitudeinhisvoicethatmade
mewishIhadgivenmoreoccasionforit。
Iputmyhandonhisshoulder。`Yourmother，youknow，
wasverymuchlovedbyallofus。Shewasabeautifulgirl。\'
`Oh，weknow！\'Theybothspoketogether；seemedalittle
surprisedthatIshouldthinkitnecessarytomentionthis。
`Everybodylikedher，didn\'tthey？TheHarlingsandyourgrandmother，
andallthetownpeople。\'
`Sometimes，\'Iventured，`itdoesn\'toccurtoboysthattheirmother
waseveryoungandpretty。\'
`Oh，weknow！\'theysaidagain，warmly。`She\'snotveryoldnow，\'
Ambroschadded。`Notmucholderthanyou。\'
`Well，\'Isaid，`ifyouweren\'tnicetoher，IthinkI\'dtakeaclubandgo
forthewholelotofyou。Icouldn\'tstanditifyouboyswereinconsiderate，
orthoughtofherasifshewerejustsomebodywholookedafteryou。
YouseeIwasverymuchinlovewithyourmotheronce，andIknowthere\'s
nobodylikeher。\'Theboyslaughedandseemedpleasedandembarrassed。
`Shenevertoldusthat，\'saidAnton。`Butshe\'salwaystalked
lotsaboutyou，andaboutwhatgoodtimesyouusedtohave。
ShehasapictureofyouthatshecutoutoftheChicagopaperonce，
andLeosaysherecognizedyouwhenyoudroveuptothewindmill。
Youcan\'ttellaboutLeo，though；sometimeshelikestobesmart。\'
Webroughtthecowshometothecornernearestthebarn，andtheboys
milkedthemwhilenightcameon。Everythingwasasitshouldbe:
thestrongsmellofsunflowersandironweedinthedew，theclearblue
andgoldofthesky，theeveningstar，thepurrofthemilkintothepails，
thegruntsandsquealsofthepigsfightingovertheirsupper。
Ibegantofeelthelonelinessofthefarm-boyatevening，whenthechores
seemeverlastinglythesame，andtheworldsofaraway。
Whatatablefulwewereatsupper:twolongrowsofrestless
headsinthelamplight，andsomanyeyesfastenedexcitedlyupon
Antoniaasshesatattheheadofthetable，fillingtheplates
andstartingthedishesontheirway。Thechildrenwereseated
accordingtoasystem；alittleonenextanolderone，whowas
towatchoverhisbehaviourandtoseethathegothisfood。
AnnaandYulkalefttheirchairsfromtimetotimetobring
freshplatesofkolachesandpitchersofmilk。
Aftersupperwewentintotheparlour，sothatYulkaandLeo
couldplayforme。Antoniawentfirst，carryingthelamp。
Therewerenotnearlychairsenoughtogoround，
sotheyoungerchildrensatdownonthebarefloor。
LittleLuciewhisperedtomethattheyweregoingtohave
aparlourcarpetiftheygotninetycentsfortheirwheat。
Leo，withagooddealoffussing，gotouthisviolin。
ItwasoldMr。Shimerda\'sinstrument，whichAntoniahadalwayskept，
anditwastoobigforhim。Butheplayedverywellfora
self-taughtboy。PoorYulka\'seffortswerenotsosuccessful。
Whiletheywereplaying，littleNinagotupfromhercorner，
cameoutintothemiddleofthefloor，andbegantodo
aprettylittledanceontheboardswithherbarefeet。
Noonepaidtheleastattentiontoher，andwhenshewas
throughshestolebackandsatdownbyherbrother。
AntoniaspoketoLeoinBohemian。Hefrownedandwrinkleduphisface。
Heseemedtobetryingtopout，buthisattemptonlybroughtout
dimplesinunusualplaces。Aftertwistingandscrewingthekeys，
heplayedsomeBohemianairs，withouttheorgantoholdhimback，
andthatwentbetter。TheboywassorestlessthatIhadnothad
achancetolookathisfacebefore。Myfirstimpressionwasright；
hereallywasfaun-like。Hehadn\'tmuchheadbehindhisears，
andhistawnyfleecegrewdownthicktothebackofhisneck。
Hiseyeswerenotfrankandwideapartlikethoseoftheotherboys，
butweredeep-set，gold-greenincolour，andseemedsensitivetothelight。
Hismothersaidhegothurtoftenerthanalltheothersputtogether。
Hewasalwaystryingtoridethecoltsbeforetheywerebroken，
teasingtheturkeygobbler，seeingjusthowmuchredthebullwould
standfor，orhowsharpthenewaxewas。
Aftertheconcertwasover，Antoniabroughtoutabigboxfulofphotographs:
sheandAntonintheirweddingclothes，holdinghands；herbrotherAmbrosch
andhisveryfatwife，whohadafarmofherown，andwhobossedherhusband，
Iwasdelightedtohear；thethreeBohemianMarysandtheirlargefamilies。
`Youwouldn\'tbelievehowsteadythosegirlshaveturnedout，\'
Antoniaremarked。`MarySvoboda\'sthebestbutter-maker
inallthiscountry，andafinemanager。Herchildrenwill
haveagrandchance。\'
AsAntoniaturnedoverthepicturestheyoungCuzaksstoodbehindherchair，
lookingoverhershoulderwithinterestedfaces。NinaandJan，
aftertryingtoseeroundthetallerones，quietlybroughtachair，
climbeduponit，andstoodclosetogether，looking。Thelittleboyforgot
hisshynessandgrinneddelightedlywhenfamiliarfacescameintoview。
InthegroupaboutAntoniaIwasconsciousofakindofphysicalharmony。
Theyleanedthiswayandthat，andwerenotafraidtotoucheachother。
Theycontemplatedthephotographswithpleasedrecognition；lookedat
someadmiringly，asifthesecharactersintheirmother\'sgirlhoodhadbeen
remarkablepeople。Thelittlechildren，whocouldnotspeakEnglish，
murmuredcommentstoeachotherintheirricholdlanguage。
AntoniaheldoutaphotographofLenathathadcomefromSan
FranciscolastChristmas。`Doesshestilllooklikethat？
Shehasn\'tbeenhomeforsixyearsnow。\'Yes，itwasexactly
likeLena，Itoldher；acomelywoman，atrifletooplump，
inahatatrifletoolarge，butwiththeoldlazyeyes，
andtheolddimpledingenuousnessstilllurkingatthecorners
ofhermouth。
TherewasapictureofFrancesHarlinginabefroggedridingcostumethatI
rememberedwell。`Isn\'tshefine！\'thegirlsmurmured。Theyallassented。
OnecouldseethatFranceshadcomedownasaheroineinthefamilylegend。
OnlyLeowasunmoved。
`Andthere\'sMr。Harling，inhisgrandfurcoat。Hewasawfullyrich，
wasn\'the，mother？\'
`Hewasn\'tanyRockefeller，\'putinMasterLeo，inaverylowtone，
whichremindedmeofthewayinwhichMrs。Shimerdahadoncesaid
thatmygrandfather`wasn\'tJesus。\'Hishabitualscepticismwas
likeadirectinheritancefromthatoldwoman。`Noneofyoursmartspeeches，\'saidAmbroschseverely。
Leopokedoutasuppleredtongueathim，butamomentlaterbroke
intoagiggleatatintypeoftwomen，uncomfortablyseated，
withanawkward-lookingboyinbaggyclothesstandingbetweenthem:
JakeandOttoandI！Wehadittaken，Iremembered，whenwewent
toBlackHawkonthefirstFourthofJulyIspentinNebraska。
IwasgladtoseeJake\'sgrinagain，andOtto\'sferociousmoustaches。
TheyoungCuzaksknewallaboutthem。`Hemadegrandfather\'scoffin，
didn\'the？\'Antonasked。
`Wasn\'ttheygoodfellows，Jim？\'Antonia\'seyesfilled。
`TothisdayI\'mashamedbecauseIquarrelledwithJakethatway。
Iwassaucyandimpertinenttohim，Leo，likeyouarewith
peoplesometimes，andIwishsomebodyhadmademebehave。\'
`Wearen\'tthroughwithyou，yet，\'theywarnedme。
TheyproducedaphotographtakenjustbeforeIwentawaytocollege:
atallyouthinstripedtrousersandastrawhat，tryingtolook
easyandjaunty。
`Tellus，Mr。Burden，\'saidCharley，`abouttherattleryoukilled
atthedog-town。Howlongwashe？Sometimesmothersayssixfeet
andsometimesshesaysfive。\'
Thesechildrenseemedtobeuponverymuchthesametermswith
AntoniaastheHarlingchildrenhadbeensomanyyearsbefore。
Theyseemedtofeelthesameprideinher，andtolooktoher
forstoriesandentertainmentasweusedtodo。
Itwaseleveno\'clockwhenIatlasttookmybagandsomeblankets
andstartedforthebarnwiththeboys。Theirmothercametothedoor
withus，andwetarriedforamomenttolookoutatthewhite
slopeofthecorralandthetwopondsasleepinthemoonlight，
andthelongsweepofthepastureunderthestar-sprinkledsky。
Theboystoldmetochoosemyownplaceinthehaymow，
andIlaydownbeforeabigwindow，leftopeninwarmweather，
thatlookedoutintothestars。AmbroschandLeocuddledupina
hay-cave，backundertheeaves，andlaygigglingandwhispering。
Theytickledeachotherandtossedandtumbledinthehay；
andthen，allatonce，asiftheyhadbeenshot，theywerestill。
Therewashardlyaminutebetweengigglesandblandslumber。
Ilayawakeforalongwhile，untiltheslow-movingmoonpassed
mywindowonitswayuptheheavens。Iwasthinkingabout
Antoniaandherchildren；aboutAnna\'ssolicitudeforher，
Ambrosch\'sgraveaffection，Leo\'sjealous，animallittlelove。
Thatmoment，whentheyallcametumblingoutofthecaveinto
thelight，wasasightanymanmighthavecomefartosee。
Antoniahadalwaysbeenonetoleaveimagesinthemind
thatdidnotfade——thatgrewstrongerwithtime。
Inmymemorytherewasasuccessionofsuchpictures，
fixedthereliketheoldwoodcutsofone\'sfirstprimer:
Antoniakickingherbarelegsagainstthesidesofmyponywhenwe
camehomeintriumphwithoursnake；Antoniainherblackshawl
andfurcap，asshestoodbyherfather\'sgraveinthesnowstorm；
Antoniacominginwithherwork-teamalongtheeveningsky-line。
Shelentherselftoimmemorialhumanattitudeswhichwerecognize
byinstinctasuniversalandtrue。Ihadnotbeenmistaken。
Shewasabatteredwomannow，notalovelygirl；butshe
stillhadthatsomethingwhichfirestheimagination，
couldstillstopone\'sbreathforamomentbyalookor
gesturethatsomehowrevealedthemeaningincommonthings。
Shehadonlytostandintheorchard，toputherhandona
littlecrabtreeandlookupattheapples，tomakeyoufeel
thegoodnessofplantingandtendingandharvestingatlast。
Allthestrongthingsofherheartcameoutinherbody，
thathadbeensotirelessinservinggenerousemotions。
Itwasnowonderthathersonsstoodtallandstraight。
Shewasarichmineoflife，likethefoundersofearlyraces。
II
WHENIAWOKEINTHEmorning，longbandsofsunshinewere
cominginatthewindowandreachingbackundertheeaves
wherethetwoboyslay。Leowaswideawakeandwastickling
hisbrother\'slegwithadriedcone-flowerhehadpulled
outofthehay。Ambroschkickedathimandturnedover。
Iclosedmyeyesandpretendedtobeasleep。Leolayon
hisback，elevatedonefoot，andbeganexercisinghistoes。
Hepickedupdriedflowerswithhistoesandbrandishedthem
inthebeltofsunlight。Afterhehadamusedhimselfthus
forsometime，heroseononeelbowandbegantolookatme，
cautiously，thencritically，blinkinghiseyesinthelight。
Hisexpressionwasdroll；itdismissedmelightly。
`Thisoldfellowisnodifferentfromotherpeople。
Hedoesn\'tknowmysecret。\'Heseemedconsciousofpossessing
akeenerpowerofenjoymentthanotherpeople；hisquickrecognitions
madehimfranticallyimpatientofdeliberatejudgments。
Healwaysknewwhathewantedwithoutthinking。
Afterdressinginthehay，Iwashedmyfaceincoldwateratthewindmill。
BreakfastwasreadywhenIenteredthekitchen，andYulkawasbaking
griddle-cakes。Thethreeolderboyssetoffforthefieldsearly。
LeoandYulkaweretodrivetotowntomeettheirfather，whowould
returnfromWilberonthenoontrain。
`We\'llonlyhavealunchatnoon，\'Antoniasaid，
andcookthegeeseforsupper，whenourpapawillbehere。
IwishmyMarthacouldcomedowntoseeyou。TheyhaveaFord
carnow，andshedon\'tseemsofarawayfrommeassheusedto。
Butherhusband\'scrazyabouthisfarmandabouthaving
everythingjustright，andtheyalmostnevergetaway
exceptonSundays。He\'sahandsomeboy，andhe\'llberich
someday。Everythinghetakesholdofturnsoutwell。
Whentheybringthatbabyinhere，andunwraphim，helooks
likealittleprince；Marthatakescareofhimsobeautiful。
I\'mreconciledtoherbeingawayfrommenow，butatfirstI
criedlikeIwasputtingherintohercoffin。\'
Wewerealoneinthekitchen，exceptforAnna，whowaspouring
creamintothechurn。Shelookedupatme。`Yes，shedid。
Wewerejustashamedofmother。Shewentroundcrying，
whenMarthawassohappy，andtherestofuswereallglad。
Joecertainlywaspatientwithyou，mother。\'
Antonianoddedandsmiledatherself。`Iknowitwassilly，
butIcouldn\'thelpit。Iwantedherrighthere。
She\'dneverbeenawayfrommeanightsinceshewasborn。
IfAntonhadmadetroubleaboutherwhenshewasababy，orwanted
metoleaveherwithmymother，Iwouldn\'thavemarriedhim。
Icouldn\'t。Buthealwayslovedherlikeshewashisown。\'
`Ididn\'tevenknowMarthawasn\'tmyfullsisteruntilaftershe
wasengagedtoJoe，\'Annatoldme。
Towardthemiddleoftheafternoon，thewagondrovein，withthefatherand
theeldestson。Iwassmokingintheorchard，andasIwentouttomeetthem，
Antoniacamerunningdownfromthehouseandhuggedthetwomenasifthey
hadbeenawayformonths。
`Papa，\'interestedme，frommyfirstglimpseofhim。
Hewasshorterthanhisoldersons；acrumpledlittleman，
withrun-overboot-heels，andhecarriedoneshoulder
higherthantheother。Buthemovedveryquickly，
andtherewasanairofjauntylivelinessabouthim。
Hehadastrong，ruddycolour，thickblackhair，alittlegrizzled，
acurlymoustache，andredlips。Hissmileshowedthestrong
teethofwhichhiswifewassoproud，andashesawme
hislively，quizzicaleyestoldmethatheknewallaboutme。
Helookedlikeahumorousphilosopherwhohadhitchedupone
shoulderundertheburdensoflife，andgoneonhiswayhaving
agoodtimewhenhecould。Headvancedtomeetmeandgaveme
ahardhand，burnedredonthebackandheavilycoatedwithhair。
HeworehisSundayclothes，verythickandhotfortheweather，
anunstarchedwhiteshirt，andabluenecktiewithbig
whitedots，likealittleboy\'s，tiedinaflowingbow。
Cuzakbeganatoncetotalkabouthisholiday——frompoliteness
hespokeinEnglish。
`Mama，Iwishyouhadseetheladydanceontheslack-wire
inthestreetatnight。Theythrowabrightlightonherand
shefloatthroughtheairsomethingbeautiful，likeabird！
Theyhaveadancingbear，likeintheoldcountry，andtwo-three
merry-go-around，andpeopleinballoons，andwhatyoucall
thebigwheel，Rudolph？\'
`AFerriswheel，\'Rudolphenteredtheconversationinadeepbaritonevoice。
Hewassixfoottwo，andhadachestlikeayoungblacksmith。
`Wewenttothebigdanceinthehallbehindthesaloonlastnight，
mother，andIdancedwithallthegirls，andsodidfather。
Ineversawsomanyprettygirls。ItwasaBohunkcrowd，forsure。
Wedidn\'thearawordofEnglishonthestreet，exceptfromtheshowpeople，
didwe，papa？\'
Cuzaknodded。`Andverymanysendwordtoyou，Antonia。
Youwillexcuse\'——turningtome——`ifItellher。\'Whilewewalked
towardthehouseherelatedincidentsanddeliveredmessages
inthetonguehespokefluently，andIdroppedalittlebehind，
curioustoknowwhattheirrelationshadbecome——orremained。
Thetwoseemedtobeontermsofeasyfriendliness，touched
withhumour。Clearly，shewastheimpulse，andhethecorrective。
Astheywentupthehillhekeptglancingathersidewise，
toseewhethershegothispoint，orhowshereceivedit。
Inoticedlaterthathealwayslookedatpeoplesidewise，
asawork-horsedoesatitsyokemate。Evenwhenhesatopposite
meinthekitchen，talking，hewouldturnhisheadalittle
towardtheclockorthestoveandlookatmefromtheside，
butwithfranknessandgoodnature。Thistrickdidnot
suggestduplicityorsecretiveness，butmerelylonghabit，
aswiththehorse。
HehadbroughtatintypeofhimselfandRudolphforAntonia\'scollection，
andseveralpaperbagsofcandyforthechildren。Helookedalittle
disappointedwhenhiswifeshowedhimabigboxofcandyIhadgot
inDenver——shehadn\'tletthechildrentouchitthenightbefore。
Heputhiscandyawayinthecupboard，`forwhensherains，\'
andglancedatthebox，chuckling。`Iguessyoumusthavehear
abouthowmyfamilyain\'tsosmall，\'hesaid。
Cuzaksatdownbehindthestoveandwatchedhiswomenfolk
andthelittlechildrenwithequalamusement。Hethought
theywerenice，andhethoughttheywerefunny，evidently。
Hehadbeenoffdancingwiththegirlsandforgettingthathewas
anoldfellow，andnowhisfamilyrathersurprisedhim；heseemed
tothinkitajokethatallthesechildrenshouldbelongtohim。
Astheyoungeronesslippeduptohiminhisretreat，hekept
takingthingsoutofhispockets；pennydolls，awoodenclown，
aballoonpigthatwasinflatedbyawhistle。Hebeckonedto
thelittleboytheycalledJan，whisperedtohim，andpresented
himwithapapersnake，gently，soasnottostartlehim。
Lookingovertheboy\'sheadhesaidtome，`Thisoneisbashful。
Hegetsleft。\'
CuzakhadbroughthomewithhimarollofillustratedBohemianpapers。
Heopenedthemandbegantotellhiswifethenews，muchofwhichseemedto
relatetooneperson。IheardthenameVasakova，Vasakova，repeatedseveral
timeswithlivelyinterest，andpresentlyIaskedhimwhetherheweretalking
aboutthesinger，MariaVasak。
`Youknow？Youhaveheard，maybe？\'heaskedincredulously。
WhenIassuredhimthatIhadheardher，hepointedouther
pictureandtoldmethatVasakhadbrokenherleg，climbingin
theAustrianAlps，andwouldnotbeabletofillherengagements。
HeseemeddelightedtofindthatIhadheardhersingin
LondonandinVienna；gotouthispipeandlitittoenjoy
ourtalkthebetter。ShecamefromhispartofPrague。
Hisfatherusedtomendhershoesforherwhenshewasastudent。
Cuzakquestionedmeaboutherlooks，herpopularity，hervoice；
butheparticularlywantedtoknowwhetherIhadnoticedher
tinyfeet，andwhetherIthoughtshehadsavedmuchmoney。
Shewasextravagant，ofcourse，buthehopedshewouldn\'t
squandereverything，andhavenothingleftwhenshewasold。
Asayoungman，workinginWienn，hehadseenagoodmanyartists
whowereoldandpoor，makingoneglassofbeerlastallevening，
and`itwasnotverynice，that。\'
Whentheboyscameinfrommilkingandfeeding，thelongtable
waslaid，andtwobrowngeese，stuffedwithapples，wereput
downsizzlingbeforeAntonia。Shebegantocarve，andRudolph，
whosatnexthismother，startedtheplatesontheirway。
Wheneverybodywasserved，helookedacrossthetableatme。
`HaveyoubeentoBlackHawklately，Mr。Burden？
ThenIwonderifyou\'veheardabouttheCutters？\'No，Ihadheardnothingatallaboutthem。
`Thenyoumusttellhim，son，thoughit\'saterriblething
totalkaboutatsupper。Now，allyouchildrenbequiet，
Rudolphisgoingtotellaboutthemurder。\'`Hurrah！Themurder！\'thechildrenmurmured，lookingpleasedandinterested。
Rudolphtoldhisstoryingreatdetail，withoccasionalpromptings
fromhismotherorfather。
WickCutterandhiswifehadgoneonlivinginthehousethat
AntoniaandIknewsowell，andinthewayweknewsowell。
Theygrewtobeveryoldpeople。Heshrivelledup，
Antoniasaid，untilhelookedlikealittleoldyellowmonkey，
forhisbeardandhisfringeofhairneverchangedcolour。
Mrs。Cutterremainedflushedandwild-eyedaswehadknownher，
butastheyearspassedshebecameafflictedwithashakingpalsy
whichmadehernervousnodcontinuousinsteadofoccasional。
Herhandsweresouncertainthatshecouldnolongerdisfigurechina，
poorwoman！Asthecouplegrewolder，theyquarrelledmoreand
moreoftenabouttheultimatedispositionoftheir`property。\'
Anewlawwaspassedinthestate，securingthesurviving
wifeathirdofherhusband\'sestateunderallconditions。
CutterwastormentedbythefearthatMrs。Cutterwould
livelongerthanhe，andthateventuallyher`people，\'
whomhehadalwayshatedsoviolently，wouldinherit。
Theirquarrelsonthissubjectpassedtheboundaryofthe
close-growingcedars，andwereheardinthestreetbywhoever
wishedtoloiterandlisten。
Onemorning，twoyearsago，Cutterwentintothehardwarestoreand
boughtapistol，sayinghewasgoingtoshootadog，andaddingthat
he`thoughthewouldtakeashotatanoldcatwhilehewasaboutit。\'
(HerethechildreninterruptedRudolph\'snarrativebysmotheredgiggles。)
Cutterwentoutbehindthehardwarestore，putupatarget，
practisedforanhourorso，andthenwenthome。Atsix
o\'clockthatevening，whenseveralmenwerepassingtheCutter
houseontheirwayhometosupper，theyheardapistolshot。
Theypausedandwerelookingdoubtfullyatoneanother，
whenanothershotcamecrashingthroughanupstairswindow。
TheyranintothehouseandfoundWickCutterlyingon
asofainhisupstairsbedroom，withhisthroattornopen，
bleedingonarollofsheetshehadplacedbesidehishead。
`Walkin，gentlemen，\'hesaidweakly。`Iamalive，yousee，
andcompetent。YouarewitnessesthatIhavesurvivedmywife。
Youwillfindherinherownroom。Pleasemakeyourexamination
atonce，sothattherewillbenomistake。\'
Oneoftheneighbourstelephonedforadoctor，whiletheothers
wentintoMrs。Cutter\'sroom。Shewaslyingonherbed，
inhernight-gownandwrapper，shotthroughtheheart。
Herhusbandmusthavecomeinwhileshewastakingherafternoon
napandshother，holdingtherevolvernearherbreast。
Hernight-gownwasburnedfromthepowder。
ThehorrifiedneighboursrushedbacktoCutter。Heopenedhiseyesand
saiddistinctly，`Mrs。Cutterisquitedead，gentlemen，andIamconscious。
Myaffairsareinorder。\'Then，Rudolphsaid，`heletgoanddied。\'
Onhisdeskthecoronerfoundaletter，datedatfiveo\'clockthatafternoon。
Itstatedthathehadjustshothiswife；thatanywillshemightsecretly
havemadewouldbeinvalid，ashesurvivedher。Hemeanttoshoothimselfat
sixo\'clockandwould，ifhehadstrength，fireashotthroughthewindowin
thehopethatpassersbymightcomeinandseehim`beforelifewasextinct，\'
ashewrote。
`Now，wouldyouhavethoughtthatmanhadsuchacruelheart？\'
Antoniaturnedtomeafterthestorywastold。`Togoanddo
thatpoorwomanoutofanycomfortshemighthavefromhismoney
afterhewasgone！\'
`Didyoueverhearofanybodyelsethatkilledhimselfforspite，
Mr。Burden？\'askedRudolph。
IadmittedthatIhadn\'t。Everylawyerlearnsoverandover
howstrongamotivehatecanbe，butinmycollection
oflegalanecdotesIhadnothingtomatchthisone。
WhenIaskedhowmuchtheestateamountedto，Rudolphsaidit
wasalittleoverahundredthousanddollars。
Cuzakgavemeatwinkling，sidelongglance。`Thelawyers，
theygotagooddealofit，sure，\'hesaidmerrily。
Ahundredthousanddollars；sothatwasthefortunethathadbeen
scrapedtogetherbysuchharddealing，andthatCutterhimself
haddiedforintheend！
AftersupperCuzakandItookastrollintheorchardandsat
downbythewindmilltosmoke。Hetoldmehisstoryasifit
weremybusinesstoknowit。
Hisfatherwasashoemaker，hisuncleafurrier，andhe，
beingayoungerson，wasapprenticedtothelatter\'strade。
Younevergotanywhereworkingforyourrelatives，hesaid，
sowhenhewasajourneymanhewenttoViennaandworked
inabigfurshop，earninggoodmoney。Butayoungfellow
wholikedagoodtimedidn\'tsaveanythinginVienna；therewere
toomanypleasantwaysofspendingeverynightwhathe\'dmade
intheday。Afterthreeyearsthere，hecametoNewYork。
Hewasbadlyadvisedandwenttoworkonfursduringastrike，
whenthefactorieswereofferingbigwages。Thestrikerswon，
andCuzakwasblacklisted。Ashehadafewhundred
dollarsahead，hedecidedtogotoFloridaandraiseoranges。
Hehadalwaysthoughthewouldliketoraiseoranges！
Thesecondyearahardfrostkilledhisyounggrove，
andhefellillwithmalaria。HecametoNebraska
tovisithiscousin，AntonJelinek，andtolookabout。
Whenhebegantolookabout，hesawAntonia，andshewas
exactlythekindofgirlhehadalwaysbeenhuntingfor。
Theyweremarriedatonce，thoughhehadtoborrowmoney
fromhiscousintobuytheweddingring。
`Itwasaprettyhardjob，breakingupthisplaceandmaking
thefirstcropsgrow，\'hesaid，pushingbackhishatandscratching
hisgrizzledhair。`SometimesIgitawfulsoreonthisplaceandwant
toquit，butmywifeshealwayssaywebetterstickitout。Thebabies
comealongprettyfast，soitlooklikeitbehardtomove，anyhow。
Iguessshewasright，allright。Wegotthisplaceclearnow。
Wepayonlytwentydollarsanacrethen，andIbeenofferedahundred。
Weboughtanotherquartertenyearsago，andwegotitmostpaidfor。
Wegotplentyboys；wecanworkalotofland。Yes，sheisagood
wifeforapoorman。Sheain\'talwayssostrictwithme，neither。
SometimesmaybeIdrinkalittletoomuchbeerintown，andwhenI
comehomeshedon\'tsaynothing。Shedon\'taskmenoquestions。
Wealwaysgetalongfine，herandme，likeatfirst。
Thechildrendon\'tmaketroublebetweenus，likesometimeshappens。\'
Helitanotherpipeandpulledonitcontentedly。
IfoundCuzakamostcompanionablefellow。Heaskedmeagreatmany
questionsaboutmytripthroughBohemia，aboutViennaandtheRingstrasse
andthetheatres。
`Gee！Iliketogobackthereonce，whentheboysisbigenoughtofarm
theplace。SometimeswhenIreadthepapersfromtheoldcountry，
Iprettynearrunaway，\'heconfessedwithalittlelaugh。
`IneverdidthinkhowIwouldbeasettledmanlikethis。\'
Hewasstill，asAntoniasaid，acityman。Helikedtheatresandlighted
streetsandmusicandagameofdominoesaftertheday\'sworkwasover。
Hissociabilitywasstrongerthanhisacquisitiveinstinct。
Helikedtolivedaybydayandnightbynight，sharingintheexcitement
ofthecrowd——Yethiswifehadmanagedtoholdhimhereonafarm，
inoneoftheloneliestcountriesintheworld。
Icouldseethelittlechap，sittinghereeveryeveningby
thewindmill，nursinghispipeandlisteningtothesilence；
thewheezeofthepump，thegruntingofthepigs，
anoccasionalsquawkingwhenthehensweredisturbedbyarat。
ItdidratherseemtomethatCuzakhadbeenmadetheinstrument
ofAntonia\'sspecialmission。Thiswasafinelife，certainly，
butitwasn\'tthekindoflifehehadwantedtolive。
Iwonderedwhetherthelifethatwasrightforonewasever
rightfortwo！
IaskedCuzakifhedidn\'tfindithardtodowithoutthegay
companyhehadalwaysbeenusedto。Heknockedouthispipe
againstanupright，sighed，anddroppeditintohispocket。
`AtfirstIneargocrazywithlonesomeness，\'hesaidfrankly，`butmywoman
isgotsuchawarmheart。Shealwaysmakeitasgoodformeasshecould。
Nowitain\'tsobad；Icanbegintohavesomefunwithmyboys，already！\'
Aswewalkedtowardthehouse，Cuzakcockedhishatjauntilyoverone
earandlookedupatthemoon。`Gee！\'hesaidinahushedvoice，
asifhehadjustwakenedup，`itdon\'tseemlikeIamawayfrom
theretwenty-sixyear！\'
III
AFTERDINNERTHENEXTdayIsaidgood-byeanddrove
backtoHastingstotakethetrainforBlackHawk。
AntoniaandherchildrengatheredroundmybuggybeforeIstarted，
andeventhelittleoneslookedupatmewithfriendlyfaces。
LeoandAmbroschranaheadtoopenthelanegate。
WhenIreachedthebottomofthehill，Iglancedback。
Thegroupwasstilltherebythewindmill。Antoniawas
wavingherapron。
AtthegateAmbroschlingeredbesidemybuggy，restinghisarm
onthewheel-rim。Leoslippedthroughthefenceandranoff
intothepasture。
`That\'slikehim，\'hisbrothersaidwithashrug。`He\'sacrazykid。
Maybehe\'ssorrytohaveyougo，andmaybehe\'sjealous。
He\'sjealousofanybodymothermakesafussover，eventhepriest。\'
IfoundIhatedtoleavethisboy，withhispleasantvoiceandhisfine
headandeyes。Helookedverymanlyashestoodtherewithoutahat，
thewindripplinghisshirtabouthisbrownneckandshoulders。
`Don\'tforgetthatyouandRudolpharegoinghuntingwithmeup
ontheNiobraranextsummer，\'Isaid。`Yourfather\'sagreedtolet
youoffafterharvest。\'
Hesmiled。`Iwon\'tlikelyforget。I\'veneverhadsuchanicething
offeredtomebefore。Idon\'tknowwhatmakesyousonicetousboys，\'
headded，blushing。`Oh，yes，youdo！\'Isaid，gatheringupmyreins。
Hemadenoanswertothis，excepttosmileatmewithunabashed
pleasureandaffectionasIdroveaway。
MydayinBlackHawkwasdisappointing。Mostofmyoldfriends
weredeadorhadmovedaway。Strangechildren，whomeantnothing
tome，wereplayingintheHarlings\'bigyardwhenIpassed；
themountainashhadbeencutdown，andonlyasproutingstump
wasleftofthetallLombardypoplarthatusedtoguardthegate。
Ihurriedon。TherestofthemorningIspentwithAntonJelinek，
underashadycottonwoodtreeintheyardbehindhissaloon。
WhileIwashavingmymiddaydinneratthehotel，Imetone
oftheoldlawyerswhowasstillinpractice，andhetookme
uptohisofficeandtalkedovertheCuttercasewithme。
Afterthat，Iscarcelyknewhowtoputinthetimeuntil
thenightexpresswasdue。
Itookalongwalknorthofthetown，outintothepastures
wherethelandwassoroughthatithadneverbeenploughedup，
andthelongredgrassofearlytimesstillgrewshaggyover
thedrawsandhillocks。OutthereIfeltathomeagain。
Overheadtheskywasthatindescribableblueofautumn；
brightandshadowless，hardasenamel。TothesouthIcould
seethedun-shadedriverbluffsthatusedtolooksobigtome，
andallaboutstretcheddryingcornfields，ofthepale-goldcolour，
Irememberedsowell。Russianthistleswereblowingacross
theuplandsandpilingagainstthewirefenceslikebarricades。
Alongthecattle-pathstheplumesofgoldenrodwerealready
fadingintosun-warmedvelvet，greywithgoldthreadsinit。
Ihadescapedfromthecuriousdepressionthathangsoverlittletowns，
andmymindwasfullofpleasantthings；tripsImeanttotake
withtheCuzakboys，intheBadLandsandupontheStinkingWater。
TherewereenoughCuzakstoplaywithforalongwhileyet。
Evenaftertheboysgrewup，therewouldalwaysbeCuzakhimself！
ImeanttotrampalongafewmilesoflightedstreetswithCuzak。
AsIwanderedoverthoseroughpastures，Ihadthegoodluck
tostumbleuponabitofthefirstroadthatwentfromBlack
Hawkouttothenorthcountry；tomygrandfather\'sfarm，
thenontotheShimerdas\'andtotheNorwegiansettlement。
Everywhereelseithadbeenploughedunderwhenthehighways
weresurveyed；thishalf-mileorsowithinthepasturefence
wasallthatwasleftofthatoldroadwhichusedtorunlikea
wildthingacrosstheopenprairie，clingingtothehighplaces
andcirclinganddoublinglikearabbitbeforethehounds。
Onthelevellandthetrackshadalmostdisappeared——weremere
shadingsinthegrass，andastrangerwouldnothavenoticedthem。
Butwherevertheroadhadcrossedadraw，itwaseasytofind。
Therainshadmadechannelsofthewheel-rutsandwashed
themsodeeplythatthesodhadneverhealedoverthem。
Theylookedlikegashestornbyagrizzly\'sclaws，ontheslopes
wherethefarm-wagonsusedtolurchupoutofthehollowswithapull
thatbroughtcurlingmusclesonthesmoothhipsofthehorses。
Isatdownandwatchedthehaystacksturnrosyintheslantingsunlight。
ThiswastheroadoverwhichAntoniaandIcameonthatnight
whenwegotoffthetrainatBlackHawkandwerebeddeddownin
thestraw，wonderingchildren，beingtakenweknewnotwhither。
Ihadonlytoclosemyeyestoheartherumblingofthewagonsin
thedark，andtobeagainovercomebythatobliteratingstrangeness。
ThefeelingsofthatnightweresonearthatIcouldreachoutand
touchthemwithmyhand。Ihadthesenseofcominghometomyself，
andofhavingfoundoutwhatalittlecircleman\'sexperienceis。
ForAntoniaandforme，thishadbeentheroadofDestiny；
hadtakenustothoseearlyaccidentsoffortunewhichpredetermined
forusallthatwecaneverbe。NowIunderstoodthatthesame
roadwastobringustogetheragain。Whateverwehadmissed，
wepossessedtogethertheprecious，theincommunicablepast。
THEEND
