第8章

类别:其他 作者:Fyodor Dostoyevsky字数:23101更新时间:18/12/19 17:00:42
Everyoneintheroombegantolaugh。 \"Heistellinglies!\"criedthenephew。\"Evennowhecannotspeakthetruth。HeisnotcalledTimofeyLukianovitch,prince,butLukianTimofeyovitch。Nowdotelluswhyyoumustneedslieaboutit?LukianorTimofey,itisallthesametoyou,andwhatdifferencecanitmaketotheprince?Hetellslieswithouttheleastnecessity,simplybyforceofhabit,Iassureyou。\" \"Isthattrue?\"saidtheprinceimpatiently。 \"MynamereallyisLukianTimofeyovitch,\"acknowledgedLebedeff,loweringhiseyes,andputtinghishandonhisheart。 \"Well,forGod’ssake,whatmadeyousaytheother?\" \"Tohumblemyself,\"murmuredLebedeff。 \"Whatonearthdoyoumean?OhIifonlyIknewwhereColiawasatthismoment!\"criedtheprince,standingup,asiftogo。 \"IcantellyouallaboutColia,\"saidtheyoungman\"Oh!no,no!\"saidLebedeff,hurriedly。 \"Coliaspentthenighthere,andthismorningwentafterhisfather,whomyouletoutofprisonbypayinghisdebts——Heavenonlyknowswhy!Yesterdaythegeneralpromisedtocomeandlodgehere,buthedidnotappear。Mostprobablyhesleptatthehotelcloseby。NodoubtColiaisthere,unlesshehasgonetoPavlofsktoseetheEpanchins。Hehadalittlemoney,andwasintendingtogothereyesterday。HemustbeeitheratthehoteloratPavlofsk。\" \"AtPavlofsk!HeisatPavlofsk,undoubtedly!\"interruptedLebedeff……\"Butcome——letusgointothegarden——wewillhavecoffeethere……\"AndLebedeffseizedtheprince’sarm,andledhimfromtheroom。Theywentacrosstheyard,andfoundthemselvesinadelightfullittlegardenwiththetreesalreadyintheirsummerdressofgreen,thankstotheunusuallyfineweather。Lebedeffinvitedhisguesttositdownonagreenseatbeforeatableofthesamecolourfixedintheearth,andtookaseatfacinghim。Inafewminutesthecoffeeappeared,andtheprincedidnotrefuseit。ThehostkepthiseyesfixedonMuishkin,withanexpressionofpassionateservility。 \"Iknewnothingaboutyourhomebefore,\"saidtheprinceabsently,asifhewerethinkingofsomethingelse。 \"Poororphans,\"beganLebedeff,hisfaceassumingamournfulair,buthestoppedshort,fortheotherlookedathiminattentively,asifhehadalreadyforgottenhisownremark。Theywaitedafewminutesinsilence,whileLebedeffsatwithhiseyesfixedmournfullyontheyoungman’sface。 \"Well!\"saidthelatter,atlastrousinghimself。\"Ah!yes!YouknowwhyIcame,Lebedeff。Yourletterbroughtme。Speak!Tellmeallaboutit。\" Theclerk,ratherconfused,triedtosaysomething,hesitated,begantospeak,andagainstopped。Theprincelookedathimgravely。 \"IthinkIunderstand,LukianTimofeyovitch:youwerenotsurethatIshouldcome。YoudidnotthinkIshouldstartatthefirstwordfromyou,andyoumerelywrotetorelieveyourconscience。 However,youseenowthatIhavecome,andIhavehadenoughoftrickery。Giveupserving,ortryingtoserve,twomasters。 Rogojinhasbeenherethesethreeweeks。Haveyoumanagedtosellhertohimasyoudidbefore?Tellmethetruth。\" \"Hediscoveredeverything,themonster……himself……\" \"Don’tabusehim;thoughIdaresayyouhavesomethingtocomplainof……\" \"Hebeatme,hethrashedmeunmercifully!\"repliedLebedeffvehemently。\"HesetadogonmeinMoscow,abloodhound,aterriblebeastthatchasedmealldownthestreet。\" \"Youseemtotakemeforachild,Lebedeff。Tellme,isitafactthatshelefthimwhiletheywereinMoscow?\" \"Yes,itisafact,andthistime,letmetellyou,ontheveryeveoftheirmarriage!ItwasaquestionofminuteswhensheslippedofftoPetersburg。Shecametomedirectlyshearrived—— ’Saveme,Lukian!findmesomerefuge,andsaynothingtotheprince!’Sheisafraidofyou,evenmorethansheisofhim,andinthatsheshowsherwisdom!\"AndLebedeffslilyputhisfingertohisbrowashesaidthelastwords。 \"Andnowitisyouwhohavebroughtthemtogetheragain?\" \"Excellency,howcouldI,howcouldIpreventit?\" \"Thatwilldo。Icanfindoutformyself。Onlytellme,whereisshenow?Athishouse?Withhim?\" \"Ohno!Certainlynot!’Iamfree,’shesays;youknowhowsheinsistsonthatpoint。’Iamentirelyfree。’Sherepeatsitoverandoveragain。SheislivinginPetersburgskaia,withmysister- in-law,asItoldyouinmyletter。\" \"Sheisthereatthismoment?\" \"Yes,unlessshehasgonetoPavlofsk:thefineweathermayhavetemptedher,perhaps,intothecountry,withDariaAlexeyevna。’I amquitefree,’shesays。OnlyyesterdaysheboastedofherfreedomtoNicolaiArdalionovitch——abadsign,\"addedLebedeff,smiling。 \"Coliagoestoseeheroften,doeshenot?\" \"Heisastrangeboy,thoughtless,andinclinedtobeindiscreet。\" \"Isitlongsinceyousawher?\" \"Igotoseehereveryday,everyday。\" \"Thenyouwerethereyesterday?\" \"N-no:Ihavenotbeenthesethreelastdays。\" \"Itisapityyouhavetakentoomuchwine,LebedeffIwanttoaskyousomething……but……\" \"Allright!allright!Iamnotdrunk,\"repliedtheclerk,preparingtolisten。 \"Tellme,howwasshewhenyoulefther?\" \"Sheisawomanwhoisseeking……\" \"Seeking?\" \"Sheseemsalwaystobesearchingabout,asifshehadlostsomething。Themereideaofhercomingmarriagedisgustsher;shelooksonitasaninsult。ShecaresasmuchforHIMasforapieceoforange-peel——notmore。YetIammuchmistakenifshedoesnotlookonhimwithfearandtrembling。Sheforbidshisnametobementionedbeforeher,andtheyonlymeetwhenunavoidable。Heunderstands,wellenough!ButitmustbegonethroughSheisrestless,mocking,deceitful,violent……\" \"Deceitfulandviolent?\" \"Yes,violent。Icangiveyouaproofofit。AfewdaysagoshetriedtopullmyhairbecauseIsaidsomethingthatannoyedher。 ItriedtosootheherbyreadingtheApocalypsealoud。\" \"What?\"exclaimedtheprince,thinkinghehadnotheardaright。 \"ByreadingtheApocalypse。Theladyhasarestlessimagination,he-he!Shehasalikingforconversationonserioussubjects,ofanykind;infacttheypleasehersomuch,thatitflattershertodiscussthem。NowforfifteenyearsatleastIhavestudiedtheApocalypse,andsheagreeswithmeinthinkingthatthepresentistheepochrepresentedbythethirdhorse,theblackonewhoseriderholdsameasureinhishand。Itseemstomethateverythingisruledbymeasureinourcentury;allmenareclamouringfortheirrights;’ameasureofwheatforapenny,andthreemeasuresofbarleyforapenny。’But,addedtothis,mendesirefreedomofmindandbody,apureheart,ahealthylife,andallGod’sgoodgifts。Nowbypleadingtheirrightsalone,theywillneverattainallthis,sothewhitehorse,withhisriderDeath,comesnext,andisfollowedbyHell。Wetalkedaboutthismatterwhenwemet,anditimpressedherverymuch。\" \"Doyoubelieveallthis?\"askedMuishkin,lookingcuriouslyathiscompanion。 \"Ibothbelieveitandexplainit。Iambutapoorcreature,abeggar,anatominthescaleofhumanity。WhohastheleastrespectforLebedeff?Heisatargetforalltheworld,thebuttofanyfoolwhochoosestokickhim。ButininterpretingrevelationIamtheequalofanyone,greatashemaybe!Suchisthepowerofthemindandthespirit。Ihavemadealordlypersonagetremble,ashesatinhisarmchair……onlybytalkingtohimofthingsconcerningthespirit。Twoyearsago,onEasterEve,HisExcellencyNilAlexeyovitch,whosesubordinateI wasthen,wishedtohearwhatIhadtosay,andsentamessagebyPeterZakkaritchtoaskmetogotohisprivateroom。’TheytellmeyouexpoundthepropheciesrelatingtoAntichrist,’saidhe,whenwewerealone。’Isthatso?’’Yes,’Iansweredunhesitatingly,andIbegantogivesomecommentsontheApostle’sallegoricalvision。Atfirsthesmiled,butwhenwereachedthenumericalcomputationsandcorrespondences,hetrembled,andturnedpale。Thenhebeggedmetoclosethebook,andsentmeaway,promisingtoputmynameontherewardlist。 ThattookplaceasIsaidontheeveofEaster,andeightdayslaterhissoulreturnedtoGod。\" \"What?\" \"Itisthetruth。Oneeveningafterdinnerhestumbledashesteppedoutofhiscarriage。Hefell,andstruckhisheadonthecurb,anddiedimmediately。Hewasseventy-threeyearsofage,andhadaredface,andwhitehair;hedelugedhimselfwithscent,andwasalwayssmilinglikeachild。PeterZakkaritchrecalledmyinterviewwithhim,andsaid,’YOUFORETOLDHIS DEATH。’\" Theprincerosefromhisseat,andLebedeff,surprisedtoseehisguestpreparingtogososoon,remarked:\"Youarenotinterested?\"inarespectfultone。 \"Iamnotverywell,andmyheadaches。Doubtlesstheeffectofthejourney,\"repliedtheprince,frowning。 \"Youshouldgointothecountry,\"saidLebedefftimidly。 Theprinceseemedtobeconsideringthesuggestion。 \"Yousee,Iamgoingintothecountrymyselfinthreedays,withmychildrenandbelongings。Thelittleoneisdelicate;sheneedschangeofair;andduringourabsencethishousewillbedoneup。 IamgoingtoPavlofsk。\" \"YouaregoingtoPavlofsktoo?\"askedtheprincesharply。 \"Everybodyseemstobegoingthere。Haveyouahouseinthatneighbourhood?\" \"Idon’tknowofmanypeoplegoingtoPavlofsk,andasforthehouse,IvanPtitsinhasletmeoneofhisvillasrathercheaply。 Itisapleasantplace,lyingonahillsurroundedbytrees,andonecanlivethereforameresong。Thereisgoodmusictobeheard,sonowonderitispopular。Ishallstayinthelodge。Astothevillaitself……\" \"Haveyouletit?\" \"N-no——notexactly。\" \"Letittome,\"saidtheprince。 NowthiswaspreciselywhatLebedeffhadmadeuphismindtodointhelastthreeminutes。Notthathebadanydifficultyinfindingatenant;infactthehousewasoccupiedatpresentbyachancevisitor,whohadtoldLebedeffthathewouldperhapstakeitforthesummermonths。Theclerkknewverywellthatthis\"PERHAPS\"meant\"CERTAINLY,\"butashethoughthecouldmakemoreoutofatenantliketheprince,hefeltjustifiedinspeakingvaguelyaboutthepresentinhabitant’sintentions。\"Thisisquiteacoincidence,\"thoughthe,andwhenthesubjectofpricewasmentioned,hemadeagesturewithhishand,asiftowaiveawayaquestionofsolittleimportance。 \"Ohwell,asyoulike!\"saidMuishkin。\"Iwillthinkitover。Youshalllosenothing!\" Theywerewalkingslowlyacrossthegarden。 \"Butifyou……Icould……\"stammeredLebedeff,\"if……ifyouplease,prince,tellyousomethingonthesubjectwhichwouldinterestyou,Iamsure。\"Hespokeinwheedlingtones,andwriggledashewalkedalong。 Muishkinstoppedshort。 \"DariaAlexeyevnaalsohasavillaatPavlofsk。\" \"Well?\" \"Acertainpersonisveryfriendlywithher,andintendstovisitherprettyoften。\" Well?\" \"AglayaIvanovna……\" \"Ohstop,Lebedeff!\"interposedMuishkin,feelingasifhehadbeentouchedonanopenwound。\"That……thathasnothingtodowithme。Ishouldliketoknowwhenyouaregoingtostart。ThesoonerthebetterasfarasIamconcerned,forIamatanhotel。\" Theyhadleftthegardennow,andwerecrossingtheyardontheirwaytothegate。 \"Well,leaveyourhotelatonceandcomehere;thenwecanallgotogethertoPavlofskthedayaftertomorrow。\" \"Iwillthinkaboutit,\"saidtheprincedreamily,andwentoff。 Theclerkstoodlookingafterhisguest,struckbyhissuddenabsent-mindedness。Hehadnotevenrememberedtosaygoodbye,andLebedeffwasthemoresurprisedattheomission,asheknewbyexperiencehowcourteoustheprinceusuallywas。 III Itwasnowcloseontwelveo’clock。 TheprinceknewthatifhecalledattheEpanchins’nowhewouldonlyfindthegeneral,andthatthelattermightprobablycarryhimstraightofftoPavlofskwithhim;whereastherewasonevisithewasmostanxioustomakewithoutdelay。 SoattheriskofmissingGeneralEpanchinaltogether,andthuspostponinghisvisittoPavlofskforaday,atleast,theprincedecidedtogoandlookforthehousehedesiredtofind。 Thevisithewasabouttopaywas,insomerespects,ariskyone。 Hewasintwomindsaboutit,butknowingthatthehousewasintheGorohovaya,notfarfromtheSadovaya,hedeterminedtogointhatdirection,andtotrytomakeuphismindontheway。 ArrivedatthepointwheretheGorohovayacrossestheSadovaya,hewassurprisedtofindhowexcessivelyagitatedhewas。Hehadnoideathathisheartcouldbeatsopainfully。 OnehouseintheGorohovayabegantoattracthisattentionlongbeforehereachedit,andtheprincerememberedafterwardsthathehadsaidtohimself:\"Thatisthehouse,I’msureofit。\"Hecameuptoitquitecurioustodiscoverwhetherhehadguessedright,andfeltthathewouldbedisagreeablyimpressedtofindthathehadactuallydoneso。Thehousewasalargegloomy- lookingstructure,withouttheslightestclaimtoarchitecturalbeauty,incolouradirtygreen。Thereareafewoftheseoldhouses,builttowardstheendofthelastcentury,stillstandinginthatpartofSt。Petersburg,andshowinglittlechangefromtheiroriginalformandcolour。Theyaresolidlybuilt,andareremarkableforthethicknessoftheirwalls,andforthefewnessoftheirwindows,manyofwhicharecoveredbygratings。Ontheground-floorthereisusuallyamoney-changer’sshop,andtheownerlivesoverit。Withoutaswellaswithin,thehousesseeminhospitableandmysterious——animpressionwhichisdifficulttoexplain,unlessithassomethingtodowiththeactualarchitecturalstyle。Thesehousesarealmostexclusivelyinhabitedbythemerchantclass。 Arrivedatthegate,theprincelookedupatthelegendoverit,whichran: \"HouseofRogojin,hereditaryandhonourablecitizen。\" Hehesitatednolonger;butopenedtheglazeddooratthebottomoftheouterstairsandmadehiswayuptothesecondstorey。Theplacewasdarkandgloomy-looking;thewallsofthestonestaircasewerepaintedadullred。Rogojinandhismotherandbrotheroccupiedthewholeofthesecondfloor。TheservantwhoopenedthedoortoMuishkinledhim,withouttakinghisname,throughseveralroomsandupanddownmanystepsuntiltheyarrivedatadoor,whereheknocked。 ParfenRogojinopenedthedoorhimself。 Onseeingtheprincehebecamedeadlywhite,andapparentlyfixedtotheground,sothathewasmorelikeamarblestatuethanahumanbeing。Theprincehadexpectedsomesurprise,butRogojinevidentlyconsideredhisvisitanimpossibleandmiraculousevent。Hestaredwithanexpressionalmostofterror,andhislipstwistedintoabewilderedsmile。 \"Parfen!perhapsmyvisitisill-timed。I-Icangoawayagainifyoulike,\"saidMuishkinatlast,ratherembarrassed。 \"No,no;it’sallright,comein,\"saidParfen,recollectinghimself。 Theywereevidentlyonquitefamiliarterms。InMoscowtheyhadhadmanyoccasionsofmeeting;indeed,somefewofthosemeetingswerebuttoovividlyimpressedupontheirmemories。Theyhadnotmetnow,however,forthreemonths。 Thedeathlikepallor,andasortofslightconvulsionaboutthelips,hadnotleftRogojin’sface。Thoughhewelcomedhisguest,hewasstillobviouslymuchdisturbed。Asheinvitedtheprincetositdownnearthetable,thelatterhappenedtoturntowardshim,andwasstartledbythestrangeexpressiononhisface。A painfulrecollectionflashedintohismind。Hestoodforatime,lookingstraightatRogojin,whoseeyesseemedtoblazelikefire。AtlastRogojinsmiled,thoughhestilllookedagitatedandshaken。 \"Whatareyoustaringatmelikethatfor?\"hemuttered。\"Sitdown。\" Theprincetookachair。 \"Parfen,\"hesaid,\"tellmehonestly,didyouknowthatIwascomingtoPetersburgorno?\" \"Oh,Isupposedyouwerecoming,\"theotherreplied,smilingsarcastically,andIwasrightinmysupposition,yousee;buthowwasItoknowthatyouwouldcomeTODAY?\" Acertainstrangenessandimpatienceinhismannerimpressedtheprinceveryforcibly。 \"AndifyouhadknownthatIwascomingtoday,whybesoirritatedaboutit?\"heasked,inquietsurprise。 \"Whydidyouaskme?\" \"BecausewhenIjumpedoutofthetrainthismorning,twoeyesglaredatmejustasyoursdidamomentsince。\" \"Ha!andwhoseeyesmaytheyhavebeen?\"saidRogojin,suspiciously。Itseemedtotheprincethathewastrembling。 \"Idon’tknow;Ithoughtitwasahallucination。Ioftenhavehallucinationsnowadays。IfeeljustasIdidfiveyearsagowhenmyfitswereabouttocomeon。\" \"Well,perhapsitwasahallucination,Idon’tknow,\"saidParfen。 Hetriedtogivetheprinceanaffectionatesmile,anditseemedtothelatterasthoughinthissmileofhissomethinghadbroken,andthathecouldnotmendit,tryashewould。 \"Shallyougoabroadagainthen?\"heasked,andsuddenlyadded,\"DoyourememberhowwecameupinthetrainfromPskofftogether?Youandyourcloakandleggings,eh?\" AndRogojinburstoutlaughing,thistimewithunconcealedmalice,asthoughheweregladthathehadbeenabletofindanopportunityforgivingventtoit。 \"Haveyouquitetakenupyourquartershere?\"askedtheprince\"Yes,I’mathome。WhereelseshouldIgoto?\" \"Wehaven’tmetforsometime。MeanwhileIhaveheardthingsaboutyouwhichIshouldnothavebelievedtobepossible。\" \"Whatofthat?Peoplewillsayanything,\"saidRogojindrily。 \"Atallevents,you’vedisbandedyourtroop——andyouarelivinginyourownhouseinsteadofbeingfastandlooseabouttheplace; that’sallverygood。Isthishouseallyours,orjointproperty?\" \"Itismymother’s。Yougettoherapartmentsbythatpassage。\" \"Where’syourbrother?\" \"Intheotherwing。\" \"Ishemarried?\" \"Widower。Whydoyouwanttoknowallthis?\" Theprincelookedathim,butsaidnothing。Hehadsuddenlyrelapsedintomusing,andhadprobablynotheardthequestionatall。Rogojindidnotinsistuponananswer,andtherewassilenceforafewmoments。 \"Iguessedwhichwasyourhousefromahundredyardsoff,\"saidtheprinceatlast。 \"Whyso?\" \"Idon’tquiteknow。Yourhousehastheaspectofyourselfandallyourfamily;itbearsthestampoftheRogojinlife;butaskmewhyIthinkso,andIcantellyounothing。Itisnonsense,ofcourse。Iamnervousaboutthiskindofthingtroublingmesomuch。Ihadneverbeforeimaginedwhatsortofahouseyouwouldlivein,andyetnosoonerdidIseteyesonthisonethanIsaidtomyselfthatitmustbeyours。\" \"Really!\"saidRogojinvaguely,nottakinginwhattheprincemeantbyhisratherobscureremarks。 Theroomtheywerenowsittinginwasalargeone,loftybutdark,wellfurnished,principallywithwriting-tablesanddeskscoveredwithpapersandbooks。AwidesofacoveredwithredmoroccoevidentlyservedRogojinforabed。Onthetablebesidewhichtheprincehadbeeninvitedtoseathimselflaysomebooks; onecontainingamarkerwherethereaderhadleftoff,wasavolumeofSolovieff’sHistory。Someoil-paintingsinworngildedframeshungonthewalls,butitwasimpossibletomakeoutwhatsubjectstheyrepresented,soblackenedweretheybysmokeandage。One,alife-sizedportrait,attractedtheprince’sattention。Itshowedamanofaboutfifty,wearingalongriding- coatofGermancut。Hehadtwomedalsonhisbreast;hisbeardwaswhite,shortandthin;hisfaceyellowandwrinkled,withasly,suspiciousexpressionintheeyes。 \"Thatisyourfather,isitnot?\"askedtheprince。 \"Yes,itis,\"repliedRogojinwithanunpleasantsmile,asifhehadexpectedhisguesttoaskthequestion,andthentomakesomedisagreeableremark。 \"WasheoneoftheOldBelievers?\" \"No,hewenttochurch,buttotellthetruthhereallypreferredtheoldreligion。Thiswashisstudyandisnowmine。WhydidyouaskifhewereanOldBeliever?\" \"Areyougoingtobemarriedhere?\" \"Ye-yes!\"repliedRogojin,startingattheunexpectedquestion。 \"Soon?\" \"Youknowyourselfitdoesnotdependonme。\" \"Parfen,Iamnotyourenemy,andIdonotintendtoopposeyourintentionsinanyway。IrepeatthistoyounowjustasIsaidittoyouoncebeforeonaverysimilaroccasion。WhenyouwerearrangingforyourprojectedmarriageinMoscow,Ididnotinterferewithyou——youknowIdidnot。Thatfirsttimeshefledtomefromyou,fromtheveryaltaralmost,andbeggedmeto’saveherfromyou。’Afterwardssheranawayfrommeagain,andyoufoundherandarrangedyourmarriagewithheroncemore;andnow,Ihear,shehasrunawayfromyouandcometoPetersburg。 Isittrue?Lebedeffwrotemetothiseffect,andthat’swhyIcamehere。ThatyouhadoncemorearrangedmatterswithNastasiaPhilipovnaIonlylearnedlastnightinthetrainfromafriendofyours,Zaleshoff——ifyouwishtoknow。 \"IconfessIcameherewithanobject。IwishedtopersuadeNastasiatogoabroadforherhealth;sherequiresit。Bothmindandbodyneedachangebadly。Ididnotintendtotakeherabroadmyself。Iwasgoingtoarrangeforhertogowithoutme。NowI tellyouhonestly,Parfen,ifitistruethatallismadeupbetweenyou,Iwillnotsomuchasseteyesuponher,andIwillneverevencometoseeyouagain。 \"YouknowquitewellthatIamtellingthetruth,becauseIhavealwaysbeenfrankwithyou。Ihaveneverconcealedmyownopinionfromyou。IhavealwaystoldyouthatIconsideramarriagebetweenyouandherwouldberuintoher。Youwouldalsoberuined,andperhapsevenmorehopelessly。Ifthismarriageweretobebrokenoffagain,IadmitIshouldbegreatlypleased;butatthesametimeIhavenottheslightestintentionoftryingtopartyou。Youmaybequiteeasyinyourmind,andyouneednotsuspectme。YouknowyourselfwhetherIwaseverreallyyourrivalornot,evenwhensheranawayandcametome。 \"There,youarelaughingatme——Iknowwhyyoulaugh。Itisperfectlytruethatwelivedapartfromoneanotherallthetime,indifferenttowns。ItoldyoubeforethatIdidnotloveherwithlove,butwithpity!Yousaidthenthatyouunderstoodme; didyoureallyunderstandmeornot?Whathatredthereisinyoureyesatthismoment!Icametorelieveyourmind,becauseyouaredeartomealso。Iloveyouverymuch,Parfen;andnowIshallgoawayandnevercomebackagain。Goodbye。\" Theprincerose。 \"Stayalittle,\"saidParfen,notleavinghischairandrestinghisheadonhisrighthand。\"Ihaven’tseenyouforalongtime。\" Theprincesatdownagain。Bothweresilentforafewmoments。 \"WhenyouarenotwithmeIhateyou,LefNicolaievitch。IhaveloathedyoueverydayofthesethreemonthssinceIlastsawyou。 ByheavenIhave!\"saidRogojin。\"Icouldhavepoisonedyouatanyminute。Now,youhavebeenwithmebutaquarterofanhour,andallmymaliceseemstohavemeltedaway,andyouareasdeartomeasever。Stayherealittlelonger。\" \"WhenIamwithyouyoutrustme;butassoonasmybackisturnedyoususpectme,\"saidtheprince,smiling,andtryingtohidehisemotion。 \"Itrustyourvoice,whenIhearyouspeak。IquiteunderstandthatyouandIcannotbeputonalevel,ofcourse。\" \"Whydidyouaddthat?——There!Nowyouarecrossagain,\"saidtheprince,wondering。 \"Wewerenotasked,yousee。Weweremadedifferent,withdifferenttastesandfeelings,withoutbeingconsulted。Yousayyouloveherwithpity。Ihavenopityforher。Shehatesme—— that’stheplaintruthofthematter。Idreamofhereverynight,andalwaysthatsheislaughingatmewithanotherman。Andsoshedoeslaughatme。Shethinksnomoreofmarryingmethanifshewerechanginghershoe。Wouldyoubelieveit,Ihaven’tseenherforfivedays,andIdaren’tgonearher。SheasksmewhatI comefor,asifshewerenotcontentwithhavingdisgracedme——\" \"Disgracedyou!How?\" \"Justasthoughyoudidn’tknow!Why,sheranawayfromme,andwenttoyou。Youadmittedityourself,justnow。\" \"Butsurelyyoudonotbelievethatshe……\" \"ThatshedidnotdisgracemeatMoscowwiththatofficer。 Zemtuznikoff?Iknowforcertainshedid,afterhavingfixedourmarriage-dayherself!\" \"Impossible!\"criedtheprince。 \"Iknowitforafact,\"repliedRogojin,withconviction。 \"Itisnotlikeher,yousay?Myfriend,that’sabsurd。Perhapssuchanactwouldhorrifyher,ifshewerewithyou,butitisquitedifferentwhereIamconcerned。Shelooksonmeasvermin。 HeraffairwithKellerwassimplytomakealaughing-stockofme。 Youdon’tknowwhatafoolshemadeofmeinMoscow;andthemoneyIspentoverher!Themoney!themoney!\" \"Andyoucanmarryhernow,Parfen!Whatwillcomeofitall?\" saidtheprince,withdreadinhisvoice。 Rogojingazedbackgloomily,andwithaterribleexpressioninhiseyes,butsaidnothing。 \"Ihaven’tbeentoseeherforfivedays,\"herepeated,afteraslightpause。\"I’mafraidofbeingturnedout。Shesaysshe’sstillherownmistress,andmayturnmeoffaltogether,andgoabroad。Shetoldmethisherself,\"hesaid,withapeculiarglanceatMuishkin。\"Ithinksheoftendoesitmerelytofrightenme。Sheisalwayslaughingatme,forsomereasonorother;butatothertimesshe’sangry,andwon’tsayaword,andthat’swhatI’mafraidof。Itookherashawloneday,thelikeofwhichshemightneverhaveseen,althoughshedidliveinluxuryandshegaveitawaytohermaid,Katia。SometimeswhenIcankeepawaynolonger,Istealpastthehouseonthesly,andonceIwatchedatthegatetilldawn——Ithoughtsomethingwasgoingon——andshesawmefromthewindow。SheaskedmewhatIshoulddoifIfoundshehaddeceivedme。Isaid,’Youknowwellenough。’\" \"Whatdidsheknow?\"criedtheprince。 \"HowwasItotell?\"repliedRogojin,withanangrylaugh。\"IdidmybesttocatchhertrippinginMoscow,butdidnotsucceed。 However,Icaughtholdofheroneday,andsaid:’Youareengagedtobemarriedintoarespectablefamily,anddoyouknowwhatsortofawomanyouare?THAT’Sthesortofwomanyouare,’I said。\" \"Youtoldherthat?\" \"Yes。\" \"Well,goon。\" \"Shesaid,’Iwouldn’tevenhaveyouforafootmannow,muchlessforahusband。’’Ishan’tleavethehouse,’Isaid,’soitdoesn’tmatter。’’ThenIshallcallsomebodyandhaveyoukickedout,’shecried。SothenIrushedather,andbeathertillshewasbruisedallover。\" \"Impossible!\"criedtheprince,aghast。 \"Itellyouit’strue,\"saidRogojinquietly,butwitheyesablazewithpassion。 \"ThenforadayandahalfIneitherslept,norate,nordrank,andwouldnotleaveher。Ikneltatherfeet:’Ishalldiehere,’ Isaid,’ifyoudon’tforgiveme;andifyouhavemeturnedout,Ishalldrownmyself;because,whatshouldIbewithoutyounow?’ Shewaslikeamadwomanallthatday;nowshewouldcry;nowshewouldthreatenmewithaknife;nowshewouldabuseme。ShecalledinZaleshoffandKeller,andshowedmetothem,shamedmeintheirpresence。’Let’sallgotothetheatre,’shesays,’andleavehimhereifhewon’tgo——it’snotmybusiness。They’llgiveyousometea,ParfenSemeonovitch,whileIamaway,foryoumustbehungry。’Shecamebackfromthetheatrealone。’Thosecowardswouldn’tcome,’shesaid。’Theyareafraidofyou,andtriedtofrightenme,too。\"Hewon’tgoawayashecame,\"theysaid,\"he’llcutyourthroat——seeifhedoesn’t。\"Now,Ishallgotomybedroom,andIshallnotevenlockmydoor,justtoshowyouhowmuchIamafraidofyou。Youmustbeshownthatonceforall。Didyouhavetea?’’No,’Isaid,’andIdon’tintendto。’’Ha,ha! youareplayingoffyourprideagainstyourstomach!Thatsortofheroismdoesn’tsitwellonyou,’shesaid。 \"Withthatshedidasshehadsaidshewould;shewenttobed,anddidnotlockherdoor。Inthemorningshecameout。’Areyouquitemad?’shesaid,sharply。’Why,you’lldieofhungerlikethis。’’Forgiveme,’Isaid。’No,Iwon’t,andIwon’tmarryyou。 I’vesaidit。Surelyyouhaven’tsatinthischairallnightwithoutsleeping?’’Ididn’tsleep,’Isaid。’H’m!howsensibleofyou。Andareyougoingtohavenobreakfastordinnertoday?’ ’ItoldyouIwouldn’t。Forgiveme!’’You’venoideahowunbecomingthissortofthingistoyou,’shesaid,’it’slikeputtingasaddleonacow’sback。Doyouthinkyouarefrighteningme?Myword,whatadreadfulthingthatyoushouldsithereandeatnofood!HowterriblyfrightenedIam!’Shewasn’tangrylong,anddidn’tseemtoremembermyoffenceatall。 Iwassurprised,forsheisavindictive,resentfulwoman——butthenIthoughtthatperhapsshedespisedmetoomuchtofeelanyresentmentagainstme。Andthat’sthetruth。 \"Shecameuptomeandsaid,’DoyouknowwhothePopeofRomeis?’’I’veheardofhim,’Isaid。’Isupposeyou’vereadtheUniversalHistory,ParfenSemeonovitch,haven’tyou?’sheasked。 ’I’velearnednothingatall,’Isaid。’ThenI’lllendittoyoutoread。YoumustknowtherewasaRomanPopeonce,andhewasveryangrywithacertainEmperor;sotheEmperorcameandneitheratenordrank,butkneltbeforethePope’spalacetillheshouldbeforgiven。AndwhatsortofvowsdoyouthinkthatEmperorwasmakingduringallthosedaysonhisknees?Stop,I’llreadittoyou!’Thenshereadmealotofverses,whereitsaidthattheEmperorspentallthetimevowingvengeanceagainstthePope。’Youdon’tmeantosayyoudon’tapproveofthepoem,ParfenSemeonovitch,’shesays。’Allyouhavereadoutisperfectlytrue,’sayI。’Aha!’saysshe,’youadmitit’strue,doyou?AndyouaremakingvowstoyourselfthatifImarryyou,youwillremindmeofallthis,andtakeitoutofme。’’Idon’tknow,’I say,’perhapsIwasthinkinglikethat,andperhapsIwasnot。 I’mnotthinkingofanythingjustnow。’’Whatareyourthoughts,then?’’I’mthinkingthatwhenyourisefromyourchairandgopastme,Iwatchyou,andfollowyouwithmyeyes;ifyourdressdoesbutrustle,myheartsinks;ifyouleavetheroom,Iremembereverylittlewordandaction,andwhatyourvoicesoundedlike,andwhatyousaid。Ithoughtofnothingalllastnight,butsatherelisteningtoyoursleepingbreath,andheardyoumovealittle,twice。’’Andasforyourattackuponme,’shesays,’IsupposeyouneveroncethoughtofTHAT?’’PerhapsIdidthinkofit,andperhapsnot,’Isay。AndwhatifIdon’teitherforgiveyouormarry,you’’ItellyouIshallgoanddrownmyself。’’H’m!’shesaid,andthenrelapsedintosilence。Thenshegotangry,andwentout。’Isupposeyou’dmurdermebeforeyoudrownedyourself,though!’shecriedasshelefttheroom。 \"Anhourlater,shecametomeagain,lookingmelancholy。’Iwillmarryyou,ParfenSemeonovitch,’shesays,notbecauseI’mfrightenedofyou,butbecauseit’sallthesametomehowIruinmyself。AndhowcanIdoitbetter?Sitdown;they’llbringyousomedinnerdirectly。AndifIdomarryyou,I’llbeafaithfulwifetoyou——youneednotdoubtthat。’Thenshethoughtabit,andsaid,’Atallevents,youarenotaflunkey;atfirst,I thoughtyouwerenobetterthanaflunkey。’Andshearrangedtheweddingandfixedthedaystraightawayonthespot。 \"Then,inanotherweek,shehadrunawayagain,andcameheretoLebedeff’s;andwhenIfoundherhere,shesaidtome,’I’mnotgoingtorenounceyoualtogether,butIwishtoputofftheweddingabitlongeryet——justaslongasIlike——forIamstillmyownmistress;soyoumaywait,ifyoulike。’That’showthematterstandsbetweenusnow。Whatdoyouthinkofallthis,LefNicolaievitch?\" \"’Whatdoyouthinkofityourself?\"repliedtheprince,lookingsadlyatRogojin。 \"AsifIcanthinkanythingaboutit!I——\"Hewasabouttosaymore,butstoppedindespair。 Theprinceroseagain,asifhewouldleave。 \"Atallevents,Ishallnotinterferewithyou!\"hemurmured,asthoughmakinganswertosomesecretthoughtofhisown。 \"I’lltellyouwhat!\"criedRogojin,andhiseyesflashedfire。 \"Ican’tunderstandyouryieldinghertomelikethis;Idon’tunderstandit。Haveyougivenuplovingheraltogether?Atfirstyousufferedbadly——Iknowit——Isawit。Besides,whydidyoucomepost-hasteafterus?Outofpity,eh?He,he,he!\"Hismouthcurvedinamockingsmile。 \"DoyouthinkIamdeceivingyou?\"askedtheprince。 \"No!Itrustyou——butIcan’tunderstand。Itseemstomethatyourpityisgreaterthanmylove。\"Ahungrylongingtospeakhismindoutseemedtoflashintheman’seyes,combinedwithanintenseanger。 \"Yourloveismingledwithhatred,andtherefore,whenyourlovepasses,therewillbethegreatermisery,\"saidtheprince。\"I tellyouthis,Parfen——\" \"What!thatI’llcutherthroat,youmean?\" Theprinceshuddered。 \"You’llhateherafterwardsforallyourpresentlove,andforallthetormentyouaresufferingonheraccountnow。Whatseemstomethemostextraordinarythingis,thatshecanagainconsenttomarryyou,afterallthathaspassedbetweenyou。WhenIheardthenewsyesterday,Icouldhardlybringmyselftobelieveit。 Why,shehasruntwicefromyou,fromtheveryaltarrails,asitwere。Shemusthavesomepresentimentofevil。Whatcanshewantwithyounow?Yourmoney?Nonsense!Besides,Ishouldthinkyoumusthavemadeafairlylargeholeinyourfortunealready。 Surelyitisnotbecausesheissoveryanxioustofindahusband?Shecouldfindmanyaonebesidesyourself。Anyonewouldbebetterthanyou,becauseyouwillmurderher,andIfeelsureshemustknowthatbuttoowellbynow。Isitbecauseyoulovehersopassionately?Indeed,thatmaybeit。Ihaveheardthattherearewomenwhowantjustthatkindoflove……butstill……\" Theprincepaused,reflectively。 \"Whatareyougrinningatmyfather’sportraitagainfor?\"askedRogojin,suddenly。Hewascarefullyobservingeverychangeintheexpressionoftheprince’sface。 \"Ismiledbecausetheideacameintomyheadthatifitwerenotforthisunhappypassionofyoursyoumighthave,andwouldhave,becomejustsuchamanasyourfather,andthatveryquickly,too。You’dhavesettleddowninthishouseofyourswithsomesilentandobedientwife。Youwouldhavespokenrarely,trustednoone,heedednoone,andthoughtofnothingbutmakingmoney。\" \"Laughaway!Shesaidexactlythesame,almostwordforword,whenshesawmyfather’sportrait。It’sremarkablehowentirelyyouandsheareatonenow-a-days。\" \"What,hasshebeenhere?\"askedtheprincewithcuriosity。 \"Yes!Shelookedlongattheportraitandaskedallaboutmyfather。’You’dbejustsuchanother,’shesaidatlast,andlaughed。’Youhavesuchstrongpassions,Parfen,’shesaid,’thatthey’dhavetakenyoutoSiberiainnotimeifyouhadnot,luckily,intelligenceaswell。Foryouhaveagooddealofintelligence。’(Shesaidthis——believeitornot。ThefirsttimeIeverheardanythingofthatsortfromher。)’You’dsoonhavethrownupallthisrowdyismthatyouindulgeinnow,andyou’dhavesettleddowntoquiet,steadymoney-making,becauseyouhavelittleeducation;andhereyou’dhavestayedjustlikeyourfatherbeforeyou。Andyou’dhavelovedyourmoneysothatyou’damassnottwomillion,likehim,buttenmillion;andyou’dhavediedofhungeronyourmoneybagstofinishupwith,foryoucarryeverythingtoextremes。’There,that’sexactlywordforwordasshesaidittome。Shenevertalkedtomelikethatbefore。Shealwaystalksnonsenseandlaughswhenshe’swithme。 Wewentalloverthisoldhousetogether。’Ishallchangeallthis,’Isaid,’orelseI’llbuyanewhouseforthewedding。’ ’No,no!’shesaid,’don’ttouchanything;leaveitallasitis; IshalllivewithyourmotherwhenImarryyou。’ \"Itookhertoseemymother,andshewasasrespectfulandkindasthoughshewereherowndaughter。Motherhasbeenalmostdementedeversincefatherdied——she’sanoldwoman。Shesitsandbowsfromherchairtoeveryoneshesees。Ifyouleftheraloneanddidn’tfeedherforthreedays,Idon’tbelieveshewouldnoticeit。Well,Itookherhand,andIsaid,’Giveyourblessingtothislady,mother,she’sgoingtobemywife。’SoNastasiakissedmother’shandwithgreatfeeling。’Shemusthavesufferedterribly,hasn’tshe?’shesaid。Shesawthisbookherelyingbeforeme。’What!haveyoubeguntoreadRussianhistory?’sheasked。ShetoldmeonceinMoscow,youknow,thatIhadbettergetSolovieff’sRussianHistoryandreadit,becauseIknewnothing。’That’sgood,’shesaid,’yougoonlikethat,readingbooks。I’llmakeyoualistmyselfofthebooksyououghttoreadfirst——shallI?’Shehadneveroncespokentomelikethisbefore;itwasthefirsttimeIfeltIcouldbreathebeforeherlikealivingcreature。\" \"I’mvery,verygladtohearofthis,Parfen,\"saidtheprince,withrealfeeling。\"Whoknows?MaybeGodwillyetbringyouneartooneanother。\" \"Never,never!\"criedRogojin,excitedly。 \"Lookhere,Parfen;ifyoulovehersomuch,surelyyoumustbeanxioustoearnherrespect?Andifyoudosowish,surelyyoumayhopeto?IsaidjustnowthatIconsidereditextraordinarythatshecouldstillbereadytomarryyou。Well,thoughIcannotyetunderstandit,Ifeelsureshemusthavesomegoodreason,orshewouldn’tdoit。Sheissureofyourlove;butbesidesthat,shemustattributeSOMETHINGelsetoyou——somegoodqualities,otherwisethethingwouldnotbe。Whatyouhavejustsaidconfirmsmywords。Yousayyourselfthatshefounditpossibletospeaktoyouquitedifferentlyfromherusualmanner。Youaresuspicious,youknow,andjealous,thereforewhenanythingannoyinghappenstoyou,youexaggerateitssignificance。Ofcourse,ofcourse,shedoesnotthinksoillofyouasyousay。 Why,ifshedid,shewouldsimplybewalkingtodeathbydrowningorbytheknife,withhereyeswideopen,whenshemarriedyou。 Itisimpossible!Asifanybodywouldgototheirdeathdeliberately!\" Rogojinlistenedtotheprince’sexcitedwordswithabittersmile。Hisconvictionwas,apparently,unalterable。 \"Howdreadfullyyoulookatme,Parfen!\"saidtheprince,withafeelingofdread。 \"Waterortheknife?\"saidthelatter,atlast。\"Ha,ha——that’sexactlywhysheisgoingtomarryme,becausesheknowsforcertainthattheknifeawaitsher。Prince,canitbethatyoudon’tevenyetseewhat’sattherootofitall?\" \"Idon’tunderstandyou。\" \"Perhapshereallydoesn’tunderstandme!Theydosaythatyouarea——youknowwhat!Shelovesanother——there,youcanunderstandthatmuch!JustasIloveher,exactlysoshelovesanotherman。Andthatothermanis——doyouknowwho?It’syou。 There——youdidn’tknowthat,eh?\" \"I?\" \"You,you!Shehaslovedyoueversincethatday,herbirthday! Onlyshethinksshecannotmarryyou,becauseitwouldbetheruinofyou。’EverybodyknowswhatsortofawomanIam,’shesays。Shetoldmeallthisherself,tomyveryface!She’safraidofdisgracingandruiningyou,shesays,butitdoesn’tmatteraboutme。Shecanmarrymeallright!Noticehowmuchconsiderationsheshowsforme!\" \"Butwhydidsherunawaytome,andthenagainfrommeto——\" \"Fromyoutome?Ha,ha!that’snothing!Why,shealwaysactsasthoughshewereinadeliriumnow-a-days!Eithershesays,’Comeon,I’llmarryyou!Let’shavetheweddingquickly!’andfixestheday,andseemsinahurryforit,andwhenitbeginstocomenearshefeelsfrightened;orelsesomeotherideagetsintoherhead——goodnessknows!you’veseenher——youknowhowshegoeson—— laughingandcryingandraving!There’snothingextraordinaryaboutherhavingrunawayfromyou!Sheranawaybecauseshefoundouthowdearlyshelovedyou。Shecouldnotbeartobenearyou。YousaidjustnowthatIhadfoundheratMoscow,whensheranawayfromyou。Ididn’tdoanythingofthesort;shecametomeherself,straightfromyou。’Nametheday——I’mready!’shesaid。’Let’shavesomechampagne,andgoandhearthegipsiessing!’Itellyoushe’dhavethrownherselfintothewaterlongagoifitwerenotforme!Shedoesn’tdoitbecauseIam,perhaps,evenmoredreadfultoherthanthewater!She’smarryingmeoutofspite;ifshemarriesme,Itellyou,itwillbeforspite!\" \"Buthowdoyou,howcanyou——\"begantheprince,gazingwithdreadandhorroratRogojin。 \"Whydon’tyoufinishyoursentence?ShallItellyouwhatyouwerethinkingtoyourselfjustthen?Youwerethinking,’Howcanshemarryhimafterthis?Howcanitpossiblybepermitted?’Oh,Iknowwhatyouwerethinkingabout!\" \"Ididn’tcomehereforthatpurpose,Parfen。Thatwasnotinmymind——\" \"Thatmaybe!Perhapsyoudidn’tCOMEwiththeidea,buttheideaiscertainlythereNOW!Ha,ha!well,that’senough!Whatareyouupsetabout?Didn’tyoureallyknowitallbefore?Youastonishme!\" \"Allthisismerejealousy——itissomemaladyofyours,Parfen! Youexaggerateeverything,\"saidtheprince,excessivelyagitated。\"Whatareyoudoing?\" \"Letgoofit!\"saidParfen,seizingfromtheprince’shandaknifewhichthelatterhadatthatmomenttakenupfromthetable,whereitlaybesidethehistory。Parfenreplaceditwhereithadbeen。 \"Iseemedtoknowit——Ifeltit,whenIwascomingbacktoPetersburg,\"continuedtheprince,\"Ididnotwanttocome,I wishedtoforgetallthis,touprootitfrommymemoryaltogether!Well,good-bye——whatisthematter?\" Hehadabsentlytakenuptheknifeasecondtime,andagainRogojinsnatcheditfromhishand,andthrewitdownonthetable。Itwasaplainlookingknife,withabonehandle,abladeabouteightincheslong,andbroadinproportion,itdidnotclasp。 Seeingthattheprincewasconsiderablystruckbythefactthathehadtwiceseizedthisknifeoutofhishand,Rogojincaughtitupwithsomeirritation,putitinsidethebook,andthrewthelatteracrosstoanothertable。 \"Doyoucutyourpageswithit,orwhat?\"askedMuishkin,stillratherabsently,asthoughunabletothrowoffadeeppreoccupationintowhichtheconversationhadthrownhim。 \"Yes。\" \"It’sagardenknife,isn’tit?\" \"Yes。Can’tonecutpageswithagardenknife?\" \"It’squitenew。\" \"Well,whatofthat?Can’tIbuyanewknifeifIlike?\"shoutedRogojinfuriously,hisirritationgrowingwitheveryword。 Theprinceshuddered,andgazedfixedlyatParfen。Suddenlyheburstoutlaughing。 \"Why,whatanidea!\"hesaid。\"Ididn’tmeantoaskyouanyofthesequestions;Iwasthinkingofsomethingquitedifferent!Butmyheadisheavy,andIseemsoabsent-mindednowadays!Well,good-bye——Ican’trememberwhatIwantedtosay——good-bye!\" \"Notthatway,\"saidRogojin。 \"There,I’veforgottenthattoo!\" \"Thisway——comealong——I’llshowyou。\" IV。 THEYpassedthroughthesameroomswhichtheprincehadtraversedonhisarrival。Inthelargesttherewerepicturesonthewalls,portraitsandlandscapesoflittleinterest。Overthedoor,however,therewasoneofstrangeandratherstrikingshape;itwassixorsevenfeetinlength,andnotmorethanafootinheight。ItrepresentedtheSaviourjusttakenfromthecross。 Theprinceglancedatit,buttooknofurthernotice。Hemovedonhastily,asthoughanxioustogetoutofthehouse。ButRogojinsuddenlystoppedunderneaththepicture。 \"Myfatherpickedupallthesepicturesverycheapatauctions,andsoon,\"hesaid;\"theyareallrubbish,excepttheoneoverthedoor,andthatisvaluable。Amanofferedfivehundredroublesforitlastweek。\" \"Yes——that’sacopyofaHolbein,\"saidtheprince,lookingatitagain,\"andagoodcopy,too,sofarasIamabletojudge。Isawthepictureabroad,andcouldnotforgetit——what’sthematter?\" Rogojinhaddroppedthesubjectofthepictureandwalkedon。Ofcoursehisstrangeframeofmindwassufficienttoaccountforhisconduct;but,still,itseemedqueertotheprincethatheshouldsoabruptlydropaconversationcommencedbyhimself。 Rogojindidnottakeanynoticeofhisquestion。 \"LefNicolaievitch,\"saidRogojin,afterapause,duringwhichthetwowalkedalongalittlefurther,\"Ihavelongwishedtoaskyou,doyoubelieveinGod?\" \"Howstrangelyyouspeak,andhowoddyoulook!\"saidtheother,involuntarily。 \"Ilikelookingatthatpicture,\"mutteredRogojin,notnoticing,apparently,thattheprincehadnotansweredhisquestion。 \"Thatpicture!Thatpicture!\"criedMuishkin,struckbyasuddenidea。\"Why,aman’sfaithmightberuinedbylookingatthatpicture!\" \"Soitis!\"saidRogojin,unexpectedly。Theyhadnowreachedthefrontdoor。 Theprincestopped。 \"How?\"hesaid。\"Whatdoyoumean?Iwashalfjoking,andyoutookmeupquiteseriously!WhydoyouaskmewhetherIbelieveinGod\"Oh,noparticularreason。Imeanttoaskyoubefore——manypeopleareunbelieversnowadays,especiallyRussians,Ihavebeentold。 Yououghttoknow——you’velivedabroad。\" Rogojinlaughedbitterlyashesaidthesewords,andopeningthedoor,helditfortheprincetopassout。Muishkinlookedsurprised,butwentout。Theotherfollowedhimasfarasthelandingoftheouterstairs,andshutthedoorbehindhim。Theybothnowstoodfacingoneanother,asthoughobliviousofwheretheywere,orwhattheyhadtodonext。 \"Well,good-bye!\"saidtheprince,holdingouthishand。 \"Good-bye,\"saidRogojin,pressingithard,butquitemechanically。 Theprincemadeonestepforward,andthenturnedround。 \"Astofaith,\"hesaid,smiling,andevidentlyunwillingtoleaveRogojininthisstate——\"astofaith,Ihadfourcuriousconversationsintwodays,aweekorsoago。OnemorningImetamaninthetrain,andmadeacquaintancewithhimatonce。Ihadoftenheardofhimasaverylearnedman,butanatheist;andI wasverygladoftheopportunityofconversingwithsoeminentandcleveraperson。Hedoesn’tbelieveinGod,andhetalkedagooddealaboutit,butallthewhileitappearedtomethathewasspeakingOUTSIDETHESUBJECT。Andithasalwaysstruckme,bothinspeakingtosuchmenandinreadingtheirbooks,thattheydonotseemreallytobetouchingonthatatall,thoughonthesurfacetheymayappeartodoso。Itoldhimthis,butIdaresayIdidnotclearlyexpresswhatImeant,forhecouldnotunderstandme。 \"ThatsameeveningIstoppedatasmallprovincialhotel,anditsohappenedthatadreadfulmurderhadbeencommittedtherethenightbefore,andeverybodywastalkingaboutit。Twopeasants—— elderlymenandoldfriends——hadhadteatogethertherethenightbefore,andweretooccupythesamebedroom。Theywerenotdrunkbutoneofthemhadnoticedforthefirsttimethathisfriendpossessedasilverwatchwhichhewaswearingonachain。Hewasbynomeansathief,andwas,aspeasantsgo,arichman;butthiswatchsofascinatedhimthathecouldnotrestrainhimself。 Hetookaknife,andwhenhisfriendturnedhisback,hecameupsoftlybehind,raisedhiseyestoheaven,crossedhimself,andsayingearnestly——’Godforgiveme,forChrist’ssake!’hecuthisfriend’sthroatlikeasheep,andtookthewatch。\" Rogojinroaredwithlaughter。Helaughedasthoughhewereinasortoffit。Itwasstrangetoseehimlaughingsoafterthesombremoodhehadbeeninjustbefore。 \"Oh,Ilikethat!Thatbeatsanything!\"hecriedconvulsively,pantingforbreath。\"Oneisanabsoluteunbeliever;theotherissuchathorough——goingbelieverthathemurdershisfriendtothetuneofaprayer!Oh,prince,prince,that’stoogoodforanything!Youcan’thaveinventedit。It’sthebestthingI’veheard!\" \"NextmorningIwentoutforastrollthroughthetown,\" continuedtheprince,sosoonasRogojinwasalittlequieter,thoughhislaughterstillburstoutatintervals,\"andsoonobservedadrunken-lookingsoldierstaggeringaboutthepavement。 Hecameuptomeandsaid,’Buymysilvercross,sir!Youshallhaveitforfourpence——it’srealsilver。’Ilooked,andthereheheldacross,justtakenoffhisownneck,evidently,alargetinone,madeaftertheByzantinepattern。Ifishedoutfourpence,andputhiscrossonmyownneck,andIcouldseebyhisfacethathewasaspleasedashecouldbeatthethoughtthathehadsucceededincheatingafoolishgentleman,andawayhewenttodrinkthevalueofhiscross。AtthattimeeverythingthatIsawmadeatremendousimpressionuponme。IhadunderstoodnothingaboutRussiabefore,andhadonlyvagueandfantasticmemoriesofit。SoIthought,’IwillwaitawhilebeforeIcondemnthisJudas。OnlyGodknowswhatmaybehiddenintheheartsofdrunkards。’ \"Well,Iwenthomewards,andnearthehotelIcameacrossapoorwoman,carryingachild——ababyofsomesixweeksold。Themotherwasquiteagirlherself。Thebabywassmilingupather,forthefirsttimeinitslife,justatthatmoment;andwhileIwatchedthewomanshesuddenlycrossedherself,oh,sodevoutly!’Whatisit,mygoodwomanIaskedher。(Iwasneverbutaskingquestionsthen!)Exactlyasisamother’sjoywhenherbabysmilesforthefirsttimeintohereyes,soisGod’sjoywhenoneofHischildrenturnsandpraystoHimforthefirsttime,withallhisheart!’Thisiswhatthatpoorwomansaidtome,almostwordforword;andsuchadeep,refined,trulyreligiousthoughtitwas——athoughtinwhichthewholeessenceofChristianitywasexpressedinoneflash——thatis,therecognitionofGodasourFather,andofGod’sjoyinmenasHisownchildren,whichisthechiefideaofChrist。Shewasasimplecountry-woman——amother,it’strue—— andperhaps,whoknows,shemayhavebeenthewifeofthedrunkensoldier! \"Listen,Parfen;youputaquestiontomejustnow。Thisismyreply。Theessenceofreligiousfeelinghasnothingtodowithreason,oratheism,orcrime,oractsofanykind——ithasnothingtodowiththesethings——andneverhad。Thereissomethingbesidesallthis,somethingwhichtheargumentsoftheatheistscannevertouch。Buttheprincipalthing,andtheconclusionofmyargument,isthatthisismostclearlyseenintheheartofaRussian。ThisisaconvictionwhichIhavegainedwhileIhavebeeninthisRussiaofours。Yes,Parfen!thereisworktobedone;thereisworktobedoneinthisRussianworld!RememberwhattalksweusedtohaveinMoscow!AndIneverwishedtocomehereatall;andIneverthoughttomeetyoulikethis,Parfen! Well,well——good-bye——good-bye!Godbewithyou!\" Heturnedandwentdownstairs。 \"LefNicolaievitch!\"criedParfen,beforehehadreachedthenextlanding。\"Haveyougotthatcrossyouboughtfromthesoldierwithyou?\" \"Yes,Ihave,\"andtheprincestoppedagain。 \"Showitme,willyou?\" Anewfancy!Theprincereflected,andthenmountedthestairsoncemore。Hepulledoutthecrosswithouttakingitoffhisneck。 \"Giveittome,\"saidParfen。 \"Why?doyou——\" Theprincewouldratherhavekeptthisparticularcross。 \"I’llwearit;andyoushallhavemine。I’lltakeitoffatonce。\" \"Youwishtoexchangecrosses?Verywell,Parfen,ifthat’sthecase,I’mgladenough——thatmakesusbrothers,youknow。\" Theprincetookoffhistincross,Parfenhisgoldone,andtheexchangewasmade。 Parfenwassilent。Withsadsurprisetheprinceobservedthatthelookofdistrust,thebitter,ironicalsmile,hadstillnotaltogetherlefthisnewly-adoptedbrother’sface。Atmoments,atallevents,itshoweditselfbuttooplainly,AtlastRogojintooktheprince’shand,andstoodsoforsomemoments,asthoughhecouldnotmakeuphismind。Thenhedrewhimalong,murmuringalmostinaudibly,\"Come!\" Theystoppedonthelanding,andrangthebellatadooroppositetoParfen’sownlodging。 AnoldwomanopenedtothemandbowedlowtoParfen,whoaskedhersomequestionshurriedly,butdidnotwaittohearheranswer。Heledtheprinceonthroughseveraldark,cold-lookingrooms,spotlesslyclean,withwhitecoversoverallthefurniture。 Withouttheceremonyofknocking,Parfenenteredasmallapartment,furnishedlikeadrawing-room,butwithapolishedmahoganypartitiondividingonehalfofitfromwhatwasprobablyabedroom。Inonecornerofthisroomsatanoldwomaninanarm- chair,closetothestove。Shedidnotlookveryold,andherfacewasapleasant,roundone;butshewaswhite-hairedand,asonecoulddetectatthefirstglance,quiteinhersecondchildhood。Sheworeablackwoollendress,withablackhandkerchiefroundherneckandshoulders,andawhitecapwithblackribbons。Herfeetwereraisedonafootstool。Besidehersatanotheroldwoman,alsodressedinmourning,andsilentlyknittingastocking;thiswasevidentlyacompanion。Theybothlookedasthoughtheyneverbrokethesilence。Thefirstoldwoman,sosoonasshesawRogojinandtheprince,smiledandbowedcourteouslyseveraltimes,intokenofhergratificationattheirvisit。 \"Mother,\"saidRogojin,kissingherhand,\"hereismygreatfriend,PrinceMuishkin;wehaveexchangedcrosses;hewaslikearealbrothertomeatMoscowatonetime,anddidagreatdealforme。Blesshim,mother,asyouwouldblessyourownson。Waitamoment,letmearrangeyourhandsforyou。\" Buttheoldlady,beforeParfenhadtimetotouchher,raisedherrighthand,and,withthreefingersheldup,devoutlymadethesignofthecrossthreetimesovertheprince。Shethennoddedherheadkindlyathimoncemore。 \"There,comealong,LefNicolaievitch;that’sallIbroughtyouherefor,\"saidRogojin。 Whentheyreachedthestairsagainheadded: \"SheunderstoodnothingofwhatIsaidtoher,anddidnotknowwhatIwantedhertodo,andyetsheblessedyou;thatshowsshewishedtodosoherself。Well,goodbye;it’stimeyouwent,andI mustgotoo。\" Heopenedhisowndoor。 \"Well,letmeatleastembraceyouandsaygoodbye,youstrangefellow!\"criedtheprince,lookingwithgentlereproachatRogojin,andadvancingtowardshim。Butthelatterhadhardlyraisedhisarmswhenhedroppedthemagain。Hecouldnotmakeuphismindtoit;heturnedawayfromtheprinceinordertoavoidlookingathim。Hecouldnotembracehim。 \"Don’tbeafraid,\"hemuttered,indistinctly,\"thoughIhavetakenyourcross,Ishallnotmurderyouforyourwatch。\"Sosaying,helaughedsuddenly,andstrangely。Theninamomenthisfacebecametransfigured;hegrewdeadlywhite,hislipstrembled,hisevesburnedlikefire。Hestretchedouthisarmsandheldtheprincetightlytohim,andsaidinastrangledvoice: \"Well,takeher!It’sFate!She’syours。Isurrenderher…… RememberRogojin!\"Andpushingtheprincefromhim,withoutlookingbackathim,hehurriedlyenteredhisownflat,andbangedthedoor。