第3章

类别:其他 作者:Fyodor Dostoyevsky字数:24830更新时间:18/12/19 17:00:42
Itfellfromagreatheight,butitlookedquitelow,anditwashalfamileaway,thoughitdidnotseemfiftypaces。Ilovedtolistentoitatnight,butitwasthenthatIbecamesorestless。 SometimesIwentandclimbedthemountainandstoodthereinthemidstofthetallpines,allaloneintheterriblesilence,withourlittlevillageinthedistance,andtheskysoblue,andthesunsobright,andanoldruinedcastleonthemountain-side,faraway。Iusedtowatchthelinewhereearthandskymet,andlongedtogoandseektherethekeyofallmysteries,thinkingthatImightfindthereanewlife,perhapssomegreatcitywherelifeshouldbegranderandricher——andthenitstruckmethatlifemaybegrandenougheveninaprison。\" \"Ireadthatlastmostpraiseworthythoughtinmymanual,whenI wastwelveyearsold,\"saidAglaya。 \"Allthisispurephilosophy,\"saidAdelaida。\"Youareaphilosopher,prince,andhavecomeheretoinstructusinyourviews。\" \"Perhapsyouareright,\"saidtheprince,smiling。\"IthinkIamaphilosopher,perhaps,andwhoknows,perhapsIdowishtoteachmyviewsofthingstothoseImeetwith?\" \"Yourphilosophyisratherlikethatofanoldwomanweknow,whoisrichandyetdoesnothingbuttryhowlittleshecanspend。 Shetalksofnothingbutmoneyallday。YourgreatphilosophicalideaofagrandlifeinaprisonandyourfourhappyyearsinthatSwissvillagearelikethis,rather,\"saidAglaya。 \"Astolifeinaprison,ofcoursetheremaybetwoopinions,\" saidtheprince。\"Ionceheardthestoryofamanwholivedtwelveyearsinaprison——Ihearditfromthemanhimself。Hewasoneofthepersonsundertreatmentwithmyprofessor;hehadfits,andattacksofmelancholy,thenhewouldweep,andoncehetriedtocommitsuicide。HISlifeinprisonwassadenough;hisonlyacquaintanceswerespidersandatreethatgrewoutsidehisgrating-butIthinkIhadbettertellyouofanothermanImetlastyear。Therewasaverystrangefeatureinthiscase,strangebecauseofitsextremelyrareoccurrence。Thismanhadoncebeenbroughttothescaffoldincompanywithseveralothers,andhadhadthesentenceofdeathbyshootingpasseduponhimforsomepoliticalcrime。Twentyminuteslaterhehadbeenreprievedandsomeotherpunishmentsubstituted;buttheintervalbetweenthetwosentences,twentyminutes,oratleastaquarterofanhour,hadbeenpassedinthecertaintythatwithinafewminuteshemustdie。Iwasveryanxioustohearhimspeakofhisimpressionsduringthatdreadfultime,andIseveraltimesinquiredofhimastowhathethoughtandfelt。Herememberedeverythingwiththemostaccurateandextraordinarydistinctness,anddeclaredthathewouldneverforgetasingleiotaoftheexperience。 \"Abouttwentypacesfromthescaffold,wherehehadstoodtohearthesentence,werethreeposts,fixedintheground,towhichtofastenthecriminals(ofwhomtherewereseveral)。Thefirstthreecriminalsweretakentotheposts,dressedinlongwhitetunics,withwhitecapsdrawnovertheirfaces,sothattheycouldnotseetheriflespointedatthem。Thenagroupofsoldierstooktheirstandoppositetoeachpost。Myfriendwastheeighthonthelist,andthereforehewouldhavebeenamongthethirdlottogoup。Apriestwentaboutamongthemwithacross:andtherewasaboutfiveminutesoftimeleftforhimtolive。 \"Hesaidthatthosefiveminutesseemedtohimtobeamostinterminableperiod,anenormouswealthoftime;heseemedtobeliving,intheseminutes,somanylivesthattherewasnoneedasyettothinkofthatlastmoment,sothathemadeseveralarrangements,dividingupthetimeintoportions——oneforsayingfarewelltohiscompanions,twominutesforthat;thenacouplemoreforthinkingoverhisownlifeandcareerandallabouthimself;andanotherminuteforalastlookaround。Herememberedhavingdividedhistimelikethisquitewell。Whilesayinggood- byetohisfriendsherecollectedaskingoneofthemsomeveryusualeverydayquestion,andbeingmuchinterestedintheanswer。 Thenhavingbadefarewell,heembarkeduponthosetwominuteswhichhehadallottedtolookingintohimself;heknewbeforehandwhathewasgoingtothinkabout。Hewishedtoputittohimselfasquicklyandclearlyaspossible,thatherewashe,aliving,thinkingman,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbenobody;orifsomebodyorsomething,thenwhatandwhere?Hethoughthewoulddecidethisquestiononceforallintheselastthreeminutes。Alittlewayofftherestoodachurch,anditsgildedspireglitteredinthesun。Herememberedstaringstubbornlyatthisspire,andattheraysoflightsparklingfromit。Hecouldnottearhiseyesfromtheseraysoflight;hegottheideathattheserayswerehisnewnature,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbecomeoneofthem,amalgamatedsomehowwiththem。 \"Therepugnancetowhatmustensuealmostimmediately,andtheuncertainty,weredreadful,hesaid;butworstofallwastheidea,’WhatshouldIdoifIwerenottodienow?WhatifIweretoreturntolifeagain?Whataneternityofdays,andallmine! HowIshouldgrudgeandcountupeveryminuteofit,soastowastenotasingleinstant!’Hesaidthatthisthoughtweighedsouponhimandbecamesuchaterribleburdenuponhisbrainthathecouldnotbearit,andwishedtheywouldshoothimquicklyandhavedonewithit。\" Theprincepausedandallwaited,expectinghimtogoonagainandfinishthestory。 \"Isthatall?\"askedAglaya。 \"All?Yes,\"saidtheprince,emergingfromamomentaryreverie。 \"Andwhydidyoutellusthis?\" \"Oh,Ihappenedtorecallit,that’sall!Itfittedintotheconversation——\" \"Youprobablywishtodeduce,prince,\"saidAlexandra,\"thatmomentsoftimecannotbereckonedbymoneyvalue,andthatsometimesfiveminutesareworthpricelesstreasures。Allthisisverypraiseworthy;butmayIaskaboutthisfriendofyours,whotoldyoutheterribleexperienceofhislife?Hewasreprieved,yousay;inotherwords,theydidrestoretohimthat’eternityofdays。’Whatdidhedowiththeserichesoftime?Didhekeepcarefulaccountofhisminutes?\" \"Ohno,hedidn’t!Iaskedhimmyself。Hesaidthathehadnotlivedabitashehadintended,andhadwastedmany,andmanyaminute。\" \"Verywell,thenthere’sanexperiment,andthethingisproved; onecannotliveandcounteachmoment;saywhatyoulike,butoneCANNOT。\" \"Thatistrue,\"saidtheprince,\"Ihavethoughtsomyself。Andyet,whyshouldn’tonedoit?\" \"Youthink,then,thatyoucouldlivemorewiselythanotherpeople?\"saidAglaya。 \"Ihavehadthatidea。\" \"Andyouhaveitstill?\" \"Yes——Ihaveitstill,\"theprincereplied。 HehadcontemplatedAglayauntilnow,withapleasantthoughrathertimidsmile,butasthelastwordsfellfromhislipshebegantolaugh,andlookedathermerrily。 \"Youarenotverymodest!\"saidshe。 \"Buthowbraveyouare!\"saidhe。\"Youarelaughing,andI—— thatman’staleimpressedmesomuch,thatIdreamtofitafterwards;yes,Idreamtofthosefiveminutes……\" Helookedathislistenersagainwiththatsameserious,searchingexpression。 \"Youarenotangrywithme?\"heaskedsuddenly,andwithakindofnervoushurry,althoughhelookedthemstraightintheface。 \"Whyshouldwebeangry?\"theycried。 \"OnlybecauseIseemtobegivingyoualecture,allthetime!\" Atthistheylaughedheartily。 \"Pleasedon’tbeangrywithme,\"continuedtheprince。\"IknowverywellthatIhaveseenlessoflifethanotherpeople,andhavelessknowledgeofit。Imustappeartospeakstrangelysometimes……\" Hesaidthelastwordsnervously。 \"Yousayyouhavebeenhappy,andthatprovesyouhavelived,notless,butmorethanotherpeople。Whymakealltheseexcuses?\" interruptedAglayainamockingtoneofvoice。\"Besides,youneednotmindaboutlecturingus;youhavenothingtoboastof。Withyourquietism,onecouldlivehappilyforahundredyearsatleast。Onemightshowyoutheexecutionofafelon,orshowyouone’slittlefinger。Youcoulddrawamoralfromeither,andbequitesatisfied。Thatsortofexistenceiseasyenough。\" \"Ican’tunderstandwhyyoualwaysflyintoatemper,\"saidMrs。 Epanchin,whohadbeenlisteningtotheconversationandexaminingthefacesofthespeakersinturn。\"Idonotunderstandwhatyoumean。Whathasyourlittlefingertodowithit?Theprincetalkswell,thoughheisnotamusing。Hebeganallright,butnowheseemssad。\" \"Nevermind,mamma!Prince,Iwishyouhadseenanexecution,\" saidAglaya。\"Ishouldliketoaskyouaquestionaboutthat,ifyouhad。\" \"Ihaveseenanexecution,\"saidtheprince。 \"Youhave!\"criedAglaya。\"Imighthaveguessedit。That’safittingcrowntotherestofthestory。Ifyouhaveseenanexecution,howcanyousayyoulivedhappilyallthewhile?\" \"Butistherecapitalpunishmentwhereyouwere?\"askedAdelaida。 \"IsawitatLyons。Schneidertookusthere,andassoonaswearrivedwecameinforthat。\" \"Well,anddidyoulikeitverymuch?Wasitveryedifyingandinstructive?\"askedAglaya。 \"No,Ididn’tlikeitatall,andwasillafterseeingit;butI confessIstaredasthoughmyeyeswerefixedtothesight。I couldnottearthemaway。\" \"I,too,shouldhavebeenunabletotearmyeyesaway,\"saidAglaya。 \"Theydonotatallapproveofwomengoingtoseeanexecutionthere。Thewomenwhodogoarecondemnedforitafterwardsinthenewspapers。\" \"Thatis,bycontendingthatitisnotasightforwomentheyadmitthatitisasightformen。Icongratulatethemonthededuction。Isupposeyouquiteagreewiththem,prince?\" \"Tellusabouttheexecution,\"putinAdelaida。 \"Iwouldmuchrathernot,justnow,\"saidtheprince,alittledisturbedandfrowningslightly; \"Youdon’tseemtowanttotellus,\"saidAglaya,withamockingair。 \"No,——thethingis,Iwastellingallabouttheexecutionalittlewhileago,and——\" \"Whomdidyoutellaboutit?\" \"Theman-servant,whileIwaswaitingtoseethegeneral。\" \"Ourman-servant?\"exclaimedseveralvoicesatonce。 \"Yes,theonewhowaitsintheentrancehall,agreyish,red- facedman——\" \"Theprinceisclearlyademocrat,\"remarkedAglaya。 \"Well,ifyoucouldtellAlekseyaboutit,surelyyoucantellustoo。\" \"Idosowanttohearaboutit,\"repeatedAdelaida。 \"Justnow,Iconfess,\"begantheprince,withmoreanimation,\"whenyouaskedmeforasubjectforapicture,IconfessIhadseriousthoughtsofgivingyouone。Ithoughtofaskingyoutodrawthefaceofacriminal,oneminutebeforethefalloftheguillotine,whilethewretchedmanisstillstandingonthescaffold,preparatorytoplacinghisneckontheblock。\" \"What,hisface?onlyhisface?\"askedAdelaida。\"Thatwouldbeastrangesubjectindeed。Andwhatsortofapicturewouldthatmake?\" \"Oh,whynot?\"theprinceinsisted,withsomewarmth。\"WhenIwasinBasleIsawapictureverymuchinthatstyle——Ishouldliketotellyouaboutit;Iwillsometimeorother;itstruckmeveryforcibly。\" \"Oh,youshalltellusabouttheBaslepictureanothertime;nowwemusthaveallabouttheexecution,\"saidAdelaida。\"Tellusaboutthatfaceas;itappearedtoyourimagination-howshoulditbedrawn?——justthefacealone,doyoumean?\" \"Itwasjustaminutebeforetheexecution,\"begantheprince,readily,carriedawaybytherecollectionandevidentlyforgettingeverythingelseinamoment;\"justattheinstantwhenhesteppedofftheladderontothescaffold。Hehappenedtolookinmydirection:Isawhiseyesandunderstoodall,atonce——buthowamItodescribeit?Idosowishyouorsomebodyelsecoulddrawit,you,ifpossible。Ithoughtatthetimewhatapictureitwouldmake。Youmustimagineallthatwentbefore,ofcourse,all——all。Hehadlivedintheprisonforsometimeandhadnotexpectedthattheexecutionwouldtakeplaceforatleastaweekyet——hehadcountedonalltheformalitiesandsoontakingtime;butitsohappenedthathispapershadbeengotreadyquickly。Atfiveo’clockinthemorninghewasasleep——itwasOctober,andatfiveinthemorningitwascoldanddark。Thegovernoroftheprisoncomesinontip-toeandtouchesthesleepingman’sshouldergently。Hestartsup。’Whatisit?’hesays。’Theexecutionisfixedforteno’clock。’Hewasonlyjustawake,andwouldnotbelieveatfirst,butbegantoarguethathispaperswouldnotbeoutforaweek,andsoon。Whenhewaswideawakeandrealizedthetruth,hebecameverysilentandarguednomore——sotheysay;butafterabithesaid:’Itcomesveryhardononesosuddenly’andthenhewassilentagainandsaidnothing。 \"Thethreeorfourhourswentby,ofcourse,innecessarypreparations——thepriest,breakfast,(coffee,meat,andsomewinetheygavehim;doesn’titseemridiculous?)AndyetI believethesepeoplegivethemagoodbreakfastoutofpurekindnessofheart,andbelievethattheyaredoingagoodaction。 Thenheisdressed,andthenbeginstheprocessionthroughthetowntothescaffold。Ithinkhe,too,mustfeelthathehasanagetolivestillwhiletheycarthimalong。Probablyhethought,ontheway,’Oh,Ihavealong,longtimeyet。Threestreetsoflifeyet!Whenwe’vepassedthisstreetthere’llbethatotherone;andthenthatonewherethebaker’sshopisontheright; andwhenshallwegetthere?It’sages,ages!’Aroundhimarecrowdsshouting,yelling——tenthousandfaces,twentythousandeyes。Allthishastobeendured,andespeciallythethought: ’Herearetenthousandmen,andnotoneofthemisgoingtobeexecuted,andyetIamtodie。’Well,allthatispreparatory。 \"Atthescaffoldthereisaladder,andjustthereheburstintotears——andthiswasastrongman,andaterriblywickedone,theysay!Therewasapriestwithhimthewholetime,talking;eveninthecartastheydrovealong,hetalkedandtalked。Probablytheotherheardnothing;hewouldbegintolistennowandthen,andatthethirdwordorsohehadforgottenallaboutit。 \"Atlasthebegantomountthesteps;hislegsweretied,sothathehadtotakeverysmallsteps。Thepriest,whoseemedtobeawiseman,hadstoppedtalkingnow,andonlyheldthecrossforthewretchedfellowtokiss。Atthefootoftheladderhehadbeenpaleenough;butwhenhesetfootonthescaffoldatthetop,hisfacesuddenlybecamethecolourofpaper,positivelylikewhitenotepaper。Hislegsmusthavebecomesuddenlyfeebleandhelpless,andhefeltachokinginhisthroat——youknowthesuddenfeelingonehasinmomentsofterriblefear,whenonedoesnotloseone’swits,butisabsolutelypowerlesstomove?Ifsomedreadfulthingweresuddenlytohappen;ifahousewerejustabouttofallonone;——don’tyouknowhowonewouldlongtositdownandshutone’seyesandwait,andwait?Well,whenthisterriblefeelingcameoverhim,thepriestquicklypressedthecrosstohislips,withoutaword——alittlesilvercrossitwas- andhekeptonpressingittotheman’slipseverysecond。Andwheneverthecrosstouchedhislips,theeyeswouldopenforamoment,andthelegsmovedonce,andhekissedthecrossgreedily,hurriedly——justasthoughhewereanxioustocatchholdofsomethingincaseofitsbeingusefultohimafterwards,thoughhecouldhardlyhavehadanyconnectedreligiousthoughtsatthetime。Andsouptotheveryblock。 \"Howstrangethatcriminalsseldomswoonatsuchamoment!Onthecontrary,thebrainisespeciallyactive,andworksincessantly—— probablyhard,hard,hard——likeanengineatfullpressure。I imaginethatvariousthoughtsmustbeatloudandfastthroughhishead——allunfinishedones,andstrange,funnythoughts,verylikely!——likethis,forinstance:’Thatmanislookingatme,andhehasawartonhisforehead!andtheexecutionerhasburstoneofhisbuttons,andthelowestoneisallrusty!’Andmeanwhilehenoticesandrememberseverything。Thereisonepointthatcannotbeforgotten,roundwhicheverythingelsedancesandturnsabout;andbecauseofthispointhecannotfaint,andthislastsuntiltheveryfinalquarterofasecond,whenthewretchedneckisontheblockandthevictimlistensandwaitsandKNOWS—— that’sthepoint,heKNOWSthatheisjustNOWabouttodie,andlistensfortheraspoftheironoverhishead。IfIlaythere,I shouldcertainlylistenforthatgratingsound,andhearit,too! Therewouldprobablybebutthetenthpartofaninstantlefttohearitin,butonewouldcertainlyhearit。Andimagine,somepeopledeclarethatwhentheheadfliesoffitisCONSCIOUSofhavingflownoff!Justimaginewhatathingtorealize!Fancyifconsciousnessweretolastforevenfiveseconds! \"Drawthescaffoldsothatonlythetopstepoftheladdercomesinclearly。Thecriminalmustbejuststeppingontoit,hisfaceaswhiteasnote-paper。Thepriestisholdingthecrosstohisbluelips,andthecriminalkissesit,andknowsandseesandunderstandseverything。Thecrossandthehead——there’syourpicture;thepriestandtheexecutioner,withhistwoassistants,andafewheadsandeyesbelow。Thosemightcomeinassubordinateaccessories——asortofmist。There’sapictureforyou。\"Theprincepaused,andlookedaround。 \"Certainlythatisn’tmuchlikequietism,\"murmuredAlexandra,halftoherself。 \"Nowtellusaboutyourloveaffairs,\"saidAdelaida,afteramoment’spause。 Theprincegazedatherinamazement。 \"Youknow,\"Adelaidacontinued,\"youoweusadescriptionoftheBaslepicture;butfirstIwishtohearhowyoufellinlove。 Don’tdenythefact,foryoudid,ofcourse。Besides,youstopphilosophizingwhenyouaretellingaboutanything。\" \"Whyareyouashamedofyourstoriesthemomentafteryouhavetoldthem?\"askedAglaya,suddenly。 \"Howsillyyouare!\"saidMrs。Epanchin,lookingindignantlytowardsthelastspeaker。 \"Yes,thatwasn’tacleverremark,\"saidAlexandra。 \"Don’tlistentoher,prince,\"saidMrs。Epanchin;\"shesaysthatsortofthingoutofmischief。Don’tthinkanythingoftheirnonsense,itmeansnothing。Theylovetochaff,buttheylikeyou。Icanseeitintheirfaces——Iknowtheirfaces。\" \"Iknowtheirfaces,too,\"saidtheprince,withapeculiarstressonthewords。 \"Howso?\"askedAdelaida,withcuriosity。 \"WhatdoYOUknowaboutourfaces?\"exclaimedtheothertwo,inchorus。 Buttheprincewassilentandserious。Allawaitedhisreply。 \"I’lltellyouafterwards,\"hesaidquietly。 \"Ah,youwanttoarouseourcuriosity!\"saidAglaya。\"Andhowterriblysolemnyouareaboutit!\" \"Verywell,\"interruptedAdelaida,\"thenifyoucanreadfacessowell,youmusthavebeeninlove。Comenow;I’veguessed——let’shavethesecret!\" \"Ihavenotbeeninlove,\"saidtheprince,asquietlyandseriouslyasbefore。\"Ihavebeenhappyinanotherway。\" \"How,how?\" \"Well,I’lltellyou,\"saidtheprince,apparentlyinadeepreverie。 VI。 \"Hereyouallare,\"begantheprince,\"settlingyourselvesdowntolistentomewithsomuchcuriosity,thatifIdonotsatisfyyouyouwillprobablybeangrywithme。No,no!I’monlyjoking!\"headded,hastily,withasmile。 \"Well,then——theywereallchildrenthere,andIwasalwaysamongchildrenandonlywithchildren。TheywerethechildrenofthevillageinwhichIlived,andtheywenttotheschoolthere——allofthem。Ididnotteachthem,ohno;therewasamasterforthat,oneJulesThibaut。Imayhavetaughtthemsomethings,butIwasamongthemjustasanoutsider,andIpassedallfouryearsofmylifethereamongthem。Iwishedfornothingbetter;Iusedtotellthemeverythingandhidnothingfromthem。Theirfathersandrelationswereveryangrywithme,becausethechildrencoulddonothingwithoutmeatlast,andusedtothrongaftermeatalltimes。Theschoolmasterwasmygreatestenemyintheend!Ihadmanyenemies,andallbecauseofthechildren。EvenSchneiderreproachedme。Whatweretheyafraidof?Onecantellachildeverything,anything。Ihaveoftenbeenstruckbythefactthatparentsknowtheirchildrensolittle。Theyshouldnotconcealsomuchfromthem。Howwellevenlittlechildrenunderstandthattheirparentsconcealthingsfromthem,becausetheyconsiderthemtooyoungtounderstand!Childrenarecapableofgivingadviceinthemostimportantmatters。Howcanonedeceivethesedearlittlebirds,whentheylookatonesosweetlyandconfidingly?Icallthembirdsbecausethereisnothingintheworldbetterthanbirds! \"However,mostofthepeoplewereangrywithmeaboutoneandthesamething;butThibautsimplywasjealousofme。AtfirsthehadwaggedhisheadandwonderedhowitwasthatthechildrenunderstoodwhatItoldthemsowell,andcouldnotlearnfromhim;andhelaughedlikeanythingwhenIrepliedthatneitherhenorIcouldteachthemverymuch,butthatTHEYmightteachusagooddeal。 \"Howhecouldhatemeandtellscandalousstoriesaboutme,livingamongchildrenashedid,iswhatIcannotunderstand。 Childrensootheandhealthewoundedheart。Iremembertherewasonepoorfellowatourprofessor’swhowasbeingtreatedformadness,andyouhavenoideawhatthosechildrendidforhim,eventually。Idon’tthinkhewasmad,butonlyterriblyunhappy。ButI’lltellyouallabouthimanotherday。NowImustgetonwiththisstory。 \"Thechildrendidnotlovemeatfirst;Iwassuchasickly,awkwardkindofafellowthen——andIknowIamugly。Besides,I wasaforeigner。Thechildrenusedtolaughatme,atfirst;andtheyevenwentsofarastothrowstonesatme,whentheysawmekissMarie。Ionlykissedheronceinmylife——no,no,don’tlaugh!\"Theprincehastenedtosuppressthesmilesofhisaudienceatthispoint。\"ItwasnotamatterofLOVEatall!Ifonlyyouknewwhatamiserablecreatureshewas,youwouldhavepitiedher,justasIdid。Shebelongedtoourvillage。Hermotherwasanold,oldwoman,andtheyusedtosellstringandthread,andsoapandtobacco,outofthewindowoftheirlittlehouse,andlivedonthepittancetheygainedbythistrade。Theoldwomanwasillandveryold,andcouldhardlymove。Mariewasherdaughter,agirloftwenty,weakandthinandconsumptive; butstillshedidheavyworkatthehousesaround,daybyday。 Well,onefinedayacommercialtravellerbetrayedherandcarriedheroff;andaweeklaterhedesertedher。Shecamehomedirty,draggled,andshoeless;shehadwalkedforawholeweekwithoutshoes;shehadsleptinthefields,andcaughtaterriblecold;herfeetwereswollenandsore,andherhandstornandscratchedallover。Sheneverhadbeenprettyevenbefore;buthereyeswerequiet,innocent,kindeyes。 \"Shewasveryquietalways——andIrememberonce,whenshehadsuddenlybegunsingingatherwork,everyonesaid,’Marietriedtosingtoday!’andshegotsochaffedthatshewassilentforeverafter。Shehadbeentreatedkindlyintheplacebefore;butwhenshecamebacknow——illandshunnedandmiserable——notoneofthemallhadtheslightestsympathyforher。Cruelpeople!Oh,whathazyunderstandingstheyhaveonsuchmatters!Hermotherwasthefirsttoshowtheway。Shereceivedherwrathfully,unkindly,andwithcontempt。’Youhavedisgracedme,’shesaid。 Shewasthefirsttocastherintoignominy;butwhentheyallheardthatMariehadreturnedtothevillage,theyranouttoseeherandcrowdedintothelittlecottage——oldmen,children,women,girls——suchahurrying,stamping,greedycrowd。Mariewaslyingonthefloorattheoldwoman’sfeet,hungry,torn,draggled,crying,miserable。 \"Wheneveryonecrowdedintotheroomshehidherfaceinherdishevelledhairandlaycoweringonthefloor。Everyonelookedatherasthoughshewereapieceofdirtofftheroad。Theoldmenscoldedandcondemned,andtheyoungoneslaughedather。Thewomencondemnedhertoo,andlookedathercontemptuously,justasthoughsheweresomeloathsomeinsect。 \"Hermotherallowedallthistogoon,andnoddedherheadandencouragedthem。Theoldwomanwasveryillatthattime,andknewshewasdying(shereallydiddieacoupleofmonthslater),andthoughshefelttheendapproachingsheneverthoughtofforgivingherdaughter,totheverydayofherdeath。Shewouldnotevenspeaktoher。Shemadehersleeponstrawinashed,andhardlygaveherfoodenoughtosupportlife。 \"Mariewasverygentletohermother,andnursedher,anddideverythingforher;buttheoldwomanacceptedallherserviceswithoutawordandnevershowedhertheslightestkindness。Marieboreallthis;andIcouldseewhenIgottoknowherthatshethoughtitquiterightandfitting,consideringherselfthelowestandmeanestofcreatures。 \"Whentheoldwomantooktoherbedfinally,theotheroldwomeninthevillagesatwithherbyturns,asthecustomisthere;andthenMariewasquitedrivenoutofthehouse。Theygavehernofoodatall,andshecouldnotgetanyworkinthevillage;nonewouldemployher。Themenseemedtoconsiderhernolongerawoman,theysaidsuchdreadfulthingstoher。SometimesonSundays,iftheyweredrunkenough,theyusedtothrowherapennyortwo,intothemud,andMariewouldsilentlypickupthemoney。Shehadbegantospitbloodatthattime。 \"Atlastherragsbecamesotatteredandtornthatshewasashamedofappearinginthevillageanylonger。Thechildrenusedtopeltherwithmud;soshebeggedtobetakenonasassistantcowherd,butthecowherdwouldnothaveher。Thenshetooktohelpinghimwithoutleave;andhesawhowvaluableherassistancewastohim,anddidnotdriveherawayagain;onthecontrary,heoccasionallygavehertheremnantsofhisdinner,breadandcheese。Heconsideredthathewasbeingverykind。Whenthemotherdied,thevillageparsonwasnotashamedtoholdMarieuptopublicderisionandshame。Mariewasstandingatthecoffin’shead,inallherrags,crying。 \"Acrowdofpeoplehadcollectedtoseehowshewouldcry。Theparson,ayoungfellowambitiousofbecomingagreatpreacher,beganhissermonandpointedtoMarie。’There,’hesaid,’thereisthecauseofthedeathofthisvenerablewoman’——(whichwasalie,becauseshehadbeenillforatleasttwoyears)——’thereshestandsbeforeyou,anddaresnotlifthereyesfromtheground,becausesheknowsthatthefingerofGodisuponher。Lookathertattersandrags——thebadgeofthosewholosetheirvirtue。Whoisshe?herdaughter!’andsoontotheend。 \"Andjustfancy,thisinfamypleasedthem,allofthem,nearly。 Onlythechildrenhadaltered——forthentheywereallonmysideandhadlearnedtoloveMarie。 \"Thisishowitwas:IhadwishedtodosomethingforMarie;I longedtogivehersomemoney,butIneverhadafarthingwhileI wasthere。ButIhadalittlediamondpin,andthisIsoldtoatravellingpedlar;hegavemeeightfrancsforit——itwasworthatleastforty。 \"IlongsoughttomeetMariealone;andatlastIdidmeether,onthehillsidebeyondthevillage。IgavehertheeightfrancsandaskedhertotakecareofthemoneybecauseIcouldgetnomore;andthenIkissedherandsaidthatshewasnottosupposeIkissedherwithanyevilmotivesorbecauseIwasinlovewithher,forthatIdidsosolelyoutofpityforher,andbecausefromthefirstIhadnotaccountedherasguiltysomuchasunfortunate。Ilongedtoconsoleandencouragehersomehow,andtoassureherthatshewasnotthelow,basethingwhichsheandothersstrovetomakeout;butIdon’tthinksheunderstoodme。 Shestoodbeforeme,dreadfullyashamedofherself,andwithdowncasteyes;andwhenIhadfinishedshekissedmyhand。I wouldhavekissedhers,butshedrewitaway。Justatthismomentthewholetroopofchildrensawus。(Ifoundoutafterwardsthattheyhadlongkeptawatchuponme。)Theyallbeganwhistlingandclappingtheirhands,andlaughingatus。Marieranawayatonce; andwhenItriedtotalktothem,theythrewstonesatme。Allthevillageheardofitthesameday,andMarie’spositionbecameworsethanever。Thechildrenwouldnotletherpassnowinthestreets,butannoyedherandthrewdirtathermorethanbefore。 Theyusedtorunafterher——sheracingawaywithherpoorfeeblelungspantingandgasping,andtheypeltingherandshoutingabuseather。 \"OnceIhadtointerferebyforce;andafterthatItooktospeakingtothemeverydayandwheneverIcould。Occasionallytheystoppedandlistened;buttheyteasedMarieallthesame。 \"ItoldthemhowunhappyMariewas,andafterawhiletheystoppedtheirabuseofher,andlethergobysilently。Littlebylittlewegotintothewayofconversingtogether,thechildrenandI。Iconcealednothingfromthem,Itoldthemall。TheylistenedveryattentivelyandsoonbegantobesorryforMarie。 Atlastsomeofthemtooktosaying’Good-morning’toher,kindly,whentheymether。Itisthecustomtheretosaluteanyoneyoumeetwith’Good-morning’whetheracquaintedornot。I canimaginehowastonishedMariewasatthesefirstgreetingsfromthechildren。 \"Oncetwolittlegirlsgotholdofsomefoodandtookittoher,andcamebackandtoldme。Theysaidshehadburstintotears,andthattheylovedherverymuchnow。VerysoonafterthattheyallbecamefondofMarie,andatthesametimetheybegantodevelopthegreatestaffectionformyself。Theyoftencametomeandbeggedmetotellthemstories。IthinkImusthavetoldstorieswell,fortheydidsolovetohearthem。AtlastItooktoreadingupinterestingthingsonpurposetopassthemontothelittleones,andthiswentonforalltherestofmytimethere,threeyears。Later,wheneveryone——evenSchneider——wasangrywithmeforhidingnothingfromthechildren,Ipointedouthowfoolishitwas,fortheyalwaysknewthings,onlytheylearnttheminawaythatsoiledtheirmindsbutnotsofromme。Onehasonlytorememberone’sownchildhoodtoadmitthetruthofthis。 Butnobodywasconvinced……ItwastwoweeksbeforehermotherdiedthatIhadkissedMarie;andwhentheclergymanpreachedthatsermonthechildrenwereallonmyside。 \"WhenItoldthemwhatashameitwasoftheparsontotalkashehaddone,andexplainedmyreason,theyweresoangrythatsomeofthemwentandbrokehiswindowswithstones。OfcourseI stoppedthem,forthatwasnotright,butallthevillageheardofit,andhowIcaughtitforspoilingthechildren!EveryonediscoverednowthatthelittleoneshadtakentobeingfondofMarie,andtheirparentswereterriblyalarmed;butMariewassohappy。Thechildrenwereforbiddentomeether;buttheyusedtorunoutofthevillagetotheherdandtakeherfoodandthings; andsometimesjustranoffthereandkissedher,andsaid,’Jevousaime,Marie!’andthentrottedbackagain。TheyimaginedthatIwasinlovewithMarie,andthiswastheonlypointonwhichIdidnotundeceivethem,fortheygotsuchenjoymentoutofit。Andwhatdelicacyandtendernesstheyshowed! \"IntheeveningIusedtowalktothewaterfall。Therewasaspottherewhichwasquiteclosedinandhiddenfromviewbylargetrees;andtothisspotthechildrenusedtocometome。TheycouldnotbearthattheirdearLeonshouldloveapoorgirlwithoutshoestoherfeetanddressedallinragsandtatters。 So,wouldyoubelieveit,theyactuallyclubbedtogether,somehow,andboughthershoesandstockings,andsomelinen,andevenadress!Ican’tunderstandhowtheymanagedit,buttheydidit,alltogether。WhenIaskedthemaboutittheyonlylaughedandshouted,andthelittlegirlsclappedtheirhandsandkissedme。IsometimeswenttoseeMariesecretly,too。Shehadbecomeveryill,andcouldhardlywalk。Shestillwentwiththeherd,butcouldnothelptheherdsmananylonger。Sheusedtositonastonenear,andwaittherealmostmotionlessallday,tilltheherdwenthome。Herconsumptionwassoadvanced,andshewassoweak,thatsheusedtositwithclosedeyes,breathingheavily。Herfacewasasthinasaskeleton’s,andsweatusedtostandonherwhitebrowinlargedrops。Ialwaysfoundhersittingjustlikethat。Iusedtocomeupquietlytolookather; butMariewouldhearme,openhereyes,andtrembleviolentlyasshekissedmyhands。Ididnottakemyhandawaybecauseitmadeherhappytohaveit,andsoshewouldsitandcryquietly。 Sometimesshetriedtospeak;butitwasverydifficulttounderstandher。Shewasalmostlikeamadwoman,withexcitementandecstasy,wheneverIcame。Occasionallythechildrencamewithme;whentheydidso,theywouldstandsomewayoffandkeepguardoverus,soastotellmeifanybodycamenear。Thiswasagreatpleasuretothem。 \"Whenwelefther,Marieusedtorelapseatonceintoheroldcondition,andsitwithclosedeyesandmotionlesslimbs。Onedayshecouldnotgooutatall,andremainedathomeallaloneintheemptyhut;butthechildrenverysoonbecameawareofthefact,andnearlyallofthemvisitedherthatdayasshelayaloneandhelplessinhermiserablebed。 \"Fortwodaysthechildrenlookedafterher,andthen,whenthevillagepeoplegottoknowthatMariewasreallydying,someoftheoldwomencameandtookitinturnstositbyherandlookafterherabit。Ithinktheybegantobealittlesorryforherinthevillageatlast;atalleventstheydidnotinterferewiththechildrenanymore,onheraccount。 \"Marielayinastateofuncomfortabledeliriumthewholewhile; shecougheddreadfully。Theoldwomenwouldnotletthechildrenstayintheroom;buttheyallcollectedoutsidethewindoweachmorning,ifonlyforamoment,andshouted’Bonjour,notrebonneMarie!’andMarienosoonercaughtsightof,orheardthem,andshebecamequiteanimatedatonce,and,inspiteoftheoldwomen,wouldtrytositupandnodherheadandsmileatthem,andthankthem。Thelittleonesusedtobringhernicethingsandsweetstoeat,butshecouldhardlytouchanything。Thankstothem,Iassureyou,thegirldiedalmostperfectlyhappy。Shealmostforgothermisery,andseemedtoaccepttheirloveasasortofsymbolofpardonforheroffence,thoughsheneverceasedtoconsiderherselfadreadfulsinner。Theyusedtoflutteratherwindowjustlikelittlebirds,callingout:’Noust’aimons,Marie!’ \"Shediedverysoon;Ihadthoughtshewouldlivemuchlonger。 ThedaybeforeherdeathIwenttoseeherforthelasttime,justbeforesunset。Ithinksherecognizedme,forshepressedmyhand。 \"NextmorningtheycameandtoldmethatMariewasdead。Thechildrencouldnotberestrainednow;theywentandcoveredhercoffinwithflowers,andputawreathoflovelyblossomsonherhead。Thepastordidnotthrowanymoreshamefulwordsatthepoordeadwoman;buttherewereveryfewpeopleatthefuneral。 However,whenitcametocarryingthecoffin,allthechildrenrushedup,tocarryitthemselves。Ofcoursetheycouldnotdoitalone,buttheyinsistedonhelping,andwalkedalongsideandbehind,crying。 \"Theyhaveplantedrosesallroundhergrave,andeveryyeartheylookaltertheflowersandmakeMarie’sresting-placeasbeautifulastheycan。Iwasinillodourafterallthiswiththeparentsofthechildren,andespeciallywiththeparsonandschoolmaster。SchneiderwasobligedtopromisethatIshouldnotmeetthemandtalktothem;butweconversedfromadistancebysigns,andtheyusedtowritemesweetlittlenotes。AfterwardsI camecloserthanevertothoselittlesouls,buteventhenitwasverydeartome,tohavethemsofondofme。 \"SchneidersaidthatIdidthechildrengreatharmbymypernicious’system’;whatnonsensethatwas!Andwhatdidhemeanbymysystem?HesaidafterwardsthathebelievedIwasachildmyself——justbeforeIcameaway。’Youhavetheformandfaceofanadult’hesaid,’butasregardssoul,andcharacter,andperhapsevenintelligence,youareachildinthecompletestsenseoftheword,andalwayswillbe,ifyoulivetobesixty。’Ilaughedverymuch,forofcoursethatisnonsense。ButitisafactthatIdonotcaretobeamonggrown-uppeopleandmuchpreferthesocietyofchildren。Howeverkindpeoplemaybetome,Ineverfeelquiteathomewiththem,andamalwaysgladtogetbacktomylittlecompanions。Nowmycompanionshavealwaysbeenchildren,notbecauseIwasachildmyselfonce,butbecauseyoungthingsattractme。OnoneofthefirstdaysofmystayinSwitzerland,Iwasstrollingaboutaloneandmiserable,whenI cameuponthechildrenrushingnoisilyoutofschool,withtheirslatesandbags,andbooks,theirgames,theirlaughterandshouts——andmysoulwentouttothem。IstoppedandlaughedhappilyasIwatchedtheirlittlefeetmovingsoquickly。Girlsandboys,laughingandcrying;forastheywenthomemanyofthemfoundtimetofightandmakepeace,toweepandplay。Iforgotmytroublesinlookingatthem。Andthen,allthosethreeyears,I triedtounderstandwhymenshouldbeforevertormentingthemselves。Ilivedthelifeofachildthere,andthoughtI shouldneverleavethelittlevillage;indeed,IwasfarfromthinkingthatIshouldeverreturntoRussia。ButatlastI recognizedthefactthatSchneidercouldnotkeepmeanylonger。 Andthensomethingsoimportanthappened,thatSchneiderhimselfurgedmetodepart。Iamgoingtoseenowifcangetgoodadviceaboutit。Perhapsmylotinlifewillbechanged;butthatisnottheprincipalthing。Theprincipalthingistheentirechangethathasalreadycomeoverme。Ileftmanythingsbehindme——toomany。Theyhavegone。OnthejourneyIsaidtomyself,’Iamgoingintotheworldofmen。Idon’tknowmuch,perhaps,butanewlifehasbegunforme。’Imadeupmymindtobehonest,andsteadfastinaccomplishingmytask。PerhapsIshallmeetwithtroublesandmanydisappointments,butIhavemadeupmymindtobepoliteandsinceretoeveryone;morecannotbeaskedofme。 Peoplemayconsidermeachildiftheylike。Iamoftencalledanidiot,andatonetimeIcertainlywassoillthatIwasnearlyasbadasanidiot;butIamnotanidiotnow。HowcanIpossiblybesowhenIknowmyselfthatIamconsideredone? \"WhenIreceivedaletterfromthosedearlittlesouls,whilepassingthroughBerlin,IonlythenrealizedhowmuchIlovedthem。Itwasvery,verypainful,gettingthatfirstlittleletter。Howmelancholytheyhadbeenwhentheysawmeoff!Foramonthbefore,theyhadbeentalkingofmydepartureandsorrowingoverit;andatthewaterfall,ofanevening,whenwepartedforthenight,theywouldhugmesotightandkissmesowarmly,farmoresothanbefore。AndeverynowandthentheywouldturnuponebyonewhenIwasalone,justtogivemeakissandahug,toshowtheirloveforme。Thewholeflockwentwithmetothestation,whichwasaboutamilefromthevillage,andeverynowandthenoneofthemwouldstoptothrowhisarmsroundme,andallthelittlegirlshadtearsintheirvoices,thoughtheytriedhardnottocry。Asthetrainsteamedoutofthestation,Isawthemallstandingontheplatformwavingtomeandcrying’Hurrah!’tilltheywerelostinthedistance。 \"Iassureyou,whenIcameinherejustnowandsawyourkindfaces(Icanreadfaceswell)myheartfeltlightforthefirsttimesincethatmomentofparting。IthinkImustbeoneofthosewhoareborntobeinluck,foronedoesnotoftenmeetwithpeoplewhomonefeelshecanlovefromthefirstsightoftheirfaces;andyet,nosoonerdoIstepoutoftherailwaycarriagethanIhappenuponyou! \"Iknowitismoreorlessashamefacedthingtospeakofone’sfeelingsbeforeothers;andyethereamItalkinglikethistoyou,andamnotabitashamedorshy。Iamanunsociablesortoffellowandshallverylikelynotcometoseeyouagainforsometime;butdon’tthinktheworseofmeforthat。ItisnotthatIdonotvalueyoursociety;andyoumustneversupposethatIhavetakenoffenceatanything。 \"Youaskedmeaboutyourfaces,andwhatIcouldreadinthem;I willtellyouwiththegreatestpleasure。You,AdelaidaIvanovna,haveaveryhappyface;itisthemostsympatheticofthethree。 Nottospeakofyournaturalbeauty,onecanlookatyourfaceandsaytoone’sself,’Shehasthefaceofakindsister。’Youaresimpleandmerry,butyoucanseeintoanother’sheartveryquickly。That’swhatIreadinyourface。 \"Youtoo,AlexandraIvanovna,haveaverylovelyface;butI thinkyoumayhavesomesecretsorrow。Yourheartisundoubtedlyakind,goodone,butyouarenotmerry。Thereisacertainsuspicionof’shadow’inyourface,likeinthatofHolbein’sMadonnainDresden。Somuchforyourface。HaveIguessedright? \"Asforyourface,LizabethaProkofievna,Inotonlythink,butamperfectlySURE,thatyouareanabsolutechild——inall,inall,mind,bothgoodandbad-andinspiteofyouryears。Don’tbeangrywithmeforsayingso;youknowwhatmyfeelingsforchildrenare。AnddonotsupposethatIamsocandidoutofpuresimplicityofsoul。Ohdearno,itisbynomeansthecase! PerhapsIhavemyownveryprofoundobjectinview。\" VII。 Whentheprinceceasedspeakingallweregazingmerrilyathim—— evenAglaya;butLizabethaProkofievnalookedthejolliestofall。 \"Well!\"shecried,\"weHAVE’puthimthroughhispaces,’withavengeance!Mydears,youimagined,Ibelieve,thatyouwereabouttopatronizethisyounggentleman,likesomepoorprotegepickedupsomewhere,andtakenunderyourmagnificentprotection。Whatfoolswewere,andwhataspeciallybigfoolisyourfather!Welldone,prince!Iassureyouthegeneralactuallyaskedmetoputyouthroughyourpaces,andexamineyou。Astowhatyousaidaboutmyface,youareabsolutelycorrectinyourjudgment。Iamachild,andknowit。Iknewitlongbeforeyousaidso;youhaveexpressedmyownthoughts。Ithinkyournatureandminemustbeextremelyalike,andIamverygladofit。Weareliketwodropsofwater,onlyyouareamanandIawoman,andI’venotbeentoSwitzerland,andthatisallthedifferencebetweenus。\" \"Don’tbeinahurry,mother;theprincesaysthathehassomemotivebehindhissimplicity,\"criedAglaya。 \"Yes,yes,sohedoes,\"laughedtheothers。 \"Oh,don’tyoubeginbanteringhim,\"saidmamma。\"Heisprobablyagooddealclevererthanallthreeofyougirlsputtogether。Weshallsee。Onlyyouhaven’ttoldusanythingaboutAglayayet,prince;andAglayaandIarebothwaitingtohear。\" \"Icannotsayanythingatpresent。I’lltellyouafterwards。\" \"Why?Herfaceisclearenough,isn’tit?\" \"Ohyes,ofcourse。Youareverybeautiful,AglayaIvanovna,sobeautifulthatoneisafraidtolookatyou。\" \"Isthatall?Whatabouthercharacter?\"persistedMrs。Epanchin。 \"Itisdifficulttojudgewhensuchbeautyisconcerned。Ihavenotpreparedmyjudgment。Beautyisariddle。\" \"ThatmeansthatyouhavesetAglayaariddle!\"saidAdelaida。 \"Guessit,Aglaya!Butshe’spretty,prince,isn’tshe?\" \"Mostwonderfullyso,\"saidthelatter,warmly,gazingatAglayawithadmiration。\"AlmostaslovelyasNastasiaPhilipovna,butquiteadifferenttype。\" Allpresentexchangedlooksofsurprise。 \"AslovelyasWHO?\"saidMrs。Epanchin。\"AsNASTASIAPHILIPOVNA? WherehaveyouseenNastasiaPhilipovna?WhatNastasiaPhilipovna?\" \"GavrilaArdalionovitchshowedthegeneralherportraitjustnow。\" \"Howso?Didhebringtheportraitformyhusband?\" \"Onlytoshowit。NastasiaPhilipovnagaveittoGavrilaArdalionovitchtoday,andthelatterbroughtitheretoshowtothegeneral。\" \"Imustseeit!\"criedMrs。Epanchin。\"Whereistheportrait?Ifshegaveittohim,hemusthaveit;andheisstillinthestudy。Heneverleavesbeforefouro’clockonWednesdays。SendforGavrilaArdalionovitchatonce。No,Idon’tlongtoseeHIM somuch。Lookhere,dearprince,BEsokind,willyou?Juststeptothestudyandfetchthisportrait!Saywewanttolookatit。 Pleasedothisforme,willyou?\" \"Heisanicefellow,butalittletoosimple,\"saidAdelaida,astheprincelefttheroom。 \"Heis,indeed,\"saidAlexandra;\"almostlaughablysoattimes。\" Neitheronenortheotherseemedtogiveexpressiontoherfullthoughts。 \"Hegotoutofitveryneatlyaboutourfaces,though,\"saidAglaya。Heflatteredusallround,evenmamma。\" \"Nonsense\"criedthelatter。\"Hedidnotflatterme。ItwasIwhofoundhisappreciationflattering。Ithinkyouareagreatdealmorefoolishthanheis。Heissimple,ofcourse,butalsoveryknowing。Justlikemyself。\" \"Howstupidofmetospeakoftheportrait,\"thoughttheprinceasheenteredthestudy,withafeelingofguiltathisheart,\"andyet,perhapsIwasrightafterall。\"Hehadanidea,unformedasyet,butastrangeidea。 GavrilaArdalionovitchwasstillsittinginthestudy,buriedinamassofpapers。Helookedasthoughhedidnottakehissalaryfromthepubliccompany,whoseservanthewas,forasinecure。 Hegrewverywrothandconfusedwhentheprinceaskedfortheportrait,andexplainedhowitcameaboutthathehadspokenofit。 \"Oh,curseitall,\"hesaid;\"whatonearthmustyougoblabbingfor?Youknownothingaboutthething,andyet——idiot!\"headded,mutteringthelastwordtohimselfinirrepressiblerage。 \"Iamverysorry;Iwasnotthinkingatthetime。ImerelysaidthatAglayawasalmostasbeautifulasNastasiaPhilipovna。\" Ganiaaskedforfurtherdetails;andtheprinceoncemorerepeatedtheconversation。Ganialookedathimwithironicalcontemptthewhile。 \"NastasiaPhilipovna,\"hebegan,andtherepaused;hewasclearlymuchagitatedandannoyed。Theprinceremindedhimoftheportrait。 \"Listen,prince,\"saidGania,asthoughanideahadjuststruckhim,\"Iwishtoaskyouagreatfavour,andyetIreallydon’tknow——\" Hepausedagain,hewastryingtomakeuphismindtosomething,andwasturningthematterover。Theprincewaitedquietly。OncemoreGaniafixedhimwithintentandquestioningeyes。 \"Prince,\"hebeganagain,\"theyareratherangrywithme,inthere,owingtoacircumstancewhichIneednotexplain,sothatIdonotcaretogoinatpresentwithoutaninvitation。I particularlywishtospeaktoAglaya,butIhavewrittenafewwordsincaseIshallnothavethechanceofseeingher\"(heretheprinceobservedasmallnoteinhishand),\"andIdonotknowhowtogetmycommunicationtoher。Don’tyouthinkyoucouldundertaketogiveittoheratonce,butonlytoher,mind,andsothatnooneelseshouldseeyougiveit?Itisn’tmuchofasecret,butstill——Well,willyoudoit?\" \"Idon’tquitelikeit,\"repliedtheprince。 \"Oh,butitisabsolutelynecessaryforme,\"Ganiaentreated。 \"Believeme,ifitwerenotso,Iwouldnotaskyou;howelseamItogetittoher?Itismostimportant,dreadfullyimportant!\" Ganiawasevidentlymuchalarmedattheideathattheprincewouldnotconsenttotakehisnote,andhelookedathimnowwithanexpressionofabsoluteentreaty。 \"Well,Iwilltakeitthen。\" \"Butmind,nobodyistosee!\"criedthedelightedGania\"AndofcourseImayrelyonyourwordofhonour,eh?\" \"Iwon’tshowittoanyone,\"saidtheprince。 \"Theletterisnotsealed——\"continuedGania,andpausedinconfusion。 \"Oh,Iwon’treadit,\"saidtheprince,quitesimply。 Hetookuptheportrait,andwentoutoftheroom。 Gania,leftalone,clutchedhisheadwithhishands。 \"Onewordfromher,\"hesaid,\"onewordfromher,andImayyetbefree。\" Hecouldnotsettlehimselftohispapersagain,foragitationandexcitement,butbeganwalkingupanddowntheroomfromcornertocorner。 Theprincewalkedalong,musing。Hedidnotlikehiscommission,anddislikedtheideaofGaniasendinganotetoAglayaatall;butwhenhewastworoomsdistantfromthedrawing-room,wheretheyallwere,hestoppedathoughrecallingsomething;wenttothewindow,nearerthelight,andbegantoexaminetheportraitinhishand。 HelongedtosolvethemysteryofsomethinginthefaceNastasiaPhilipovna,somethingwhichhadstruckhimashelookedattheportraitforthefirsttime;theimpressionhadnotlefthim。Itwaspartlythefactofhermarvellousbeautythatstruckhim,andpartlysomethingelse。Therewasasuggestionofimmenseprideanddisdaininthefacealmostofhatred,andatthesametimesomethingconfidingandveryfullofsimplicity。Thecontrastarousedadeepsympathyinhisheartashelookedatthelovelyface。Theblindinglovelinessofitwasalmostintolerable,thispalethinfacewithitsflamingeyes;itwasastrangebeauty。 Theprincegazedatitforaminuteortwo,thenglancedaroundhim,andhurriedlyraisedtheportraittohislips。When,aminuteafter,hereachedthedrawing-roomdoor,hisfacewasquitecomposed。ButjustashereachedthedoorhemetAglayacomingoutalone。 \"GavrilaArdalionovitchbeggedmetogiveyouthis,\"hesaid,handingherthenote。 Aglayastopped,tooktheletter,andgazedstrangelyintotheprince’seyes。Therewasnoconfusioninherface;alittlesurprise,perhaps,butthatwasall。ByherlooksheseemedmerelytochallengetheprincetoanexplanationastohowheandGaniahappenedtobeconnectedinthismatter。Butherexpressionwasperfectlycoolandquiet,andevencondescending。 Sotheystoodforamomentortwo,confrontingoneanother。Atlengthafaintsmilepassedoverherface,andshepassedbyhimwithoutaword。 Mrs。EpanchinexaminedtheportraitofNastasiaPhilipovnaforsomelittlewhile,holdingitcriticallyatarm’slength。 \"Yes,sheispretty,\"shesaidatlast,\"evenverypretty。Ihaveseenhertwice,butonlyatadistance。Soyouadmirethiskindofbeauty,doyou?\"sheaskedtheprince,suddenly。 \"Yes,Ido——thiskind。\" \"Doyoumeanespeciallythiskind?\" \"Yes,especiallythiskind。\" \"Why?\" \"Thereismuchsufferinginthisface,\"murmuredtheprince,moreasthoughtalkingtohimselfthanansweringthequestion。 \"Ithinkyouarewanderingalittle,prince,\"Mrs。Epanchindecided,afteralengthenedsurveyofhisface;andshetossedtheportraitontothetable,haughtily。 Alexandratookit,andAdelaidacameup,andboththegirlsexaminedthephotograph。JustthenAglayaenteredtheroom。 \"Whatapower!\"criedAdelaidasuddenly,assheearnestlyexaminedtheportraitoverhersister’sshoulder。 \"Whom?Whatpower?\"askedhermother,crossly。 \"Suchbeautyisrealpower,\"saidAdelaida。\"Withsuchbeautyasthatonemightoverthrowtheworld。\"Shereturnedtohereaselthoughtfully。 Aglayamerelyglancedattheportrait——frowned,andputoutherunderlip;thenwentandsatdownonthesofawithfoldedhands。 Mrs。Epanchinrangthebell。 \"AskGavrilaArdalionovitchtostepthisway,\"saidshetothemanwhoanswered。 \"Mamma!\"criedAlexandra,significantly。 \"Ishalljustsaytwowordstohim,that’sall,\"saidhermother,silencingallobjectionbyhermanner;shewasevidentlyseriouslyputout。\"Yousee,prince,itisallsecretswithus,justnow——allsecrets。Itseemstobetheetiquetteofthehouse,forsomereasonor,other。Stupidnonsense,andinamatterwhichoughttobeapproachedwithallcandourandopen- heartedness。Thereisamarriagebeingtalkedof,andIdon’tlikethismarriage——\" \"Mamma,whatareyousaying?\"saidAlexandraagain,hurriedly。 \"Well,what,mydeargirl?Asifyoucanpossiblylikeityourself?Theheartisthegreatthing,andtherestisallrubbish——thoughonemusthavesenseaswell。Perhapssenseisreallythegreatthing。Don’tsmilelikethat,Aglaya。Idon’tcontradictmyself。Afoolwithaheartandnobrainsisjustasunhappyasafoolwithbrainsandnoheart。Iamoneandyouaretheother,andthereforebothofussuffer,bothofusareunhappy。\" \"Whyareyousounhappy,mother?\"askedAdelaida,whoaloneofallthecompanyseemedtohavepreservedhergoodtemperandspiritsuptonow。 \"Inthefirstplace,becauseofmycarefullybrought-updaughters,\"saidMrs。Epanchin,cuttingly;\"andasthatisthebestreasonIcangiveyouweneednotbotheraboutanyotheratpresent。Enoughofwords,now!Weshallseehowbothofyou(I don’tcountAglaya)willmanageyourbusiness,andwhetheryou,mostreveredAlexandraIvanovna,willbehappywithyourfinemate。\" \"Ah!\"sheadded,asGaniasuddenlyenteredtheroom,\"here’sanothermarryingsubject。Howdoyoudo?\"shecontinued,inresponsetoGania’sbow;butshedidnotinvitehimtositdown。 \"Youaregoingtobemarried?\" \"Married?how——whatmarriage?\"murmuredGania,overwhelmedwithconfusion。 \"Areyouabouttotakeawife?Iask,——ifyoupreferthatexpression。\" \"No,noI-I——no!\"saidGania,bringingouthisliewithatell- taleblushofshame。HeglancedkeenlyatAglaya,whowassittingsomewayoff,anddroppedhiseyesimmediately。 Aglayagazedcoldly,intently,andcomposedlyathim,withouttakinghereyesoffhisface,andwatchedhisconfusion。 \"No?Yousayno,doyou?\"continuedthepitilessMrs。General。 \"Verywell,IshallrememberthatyoutoldmethisWednesdaymorning,inanswertomyquestion,thatyouarenotgoingtobemarried。Whatdayisit,Wednesday,isn’tit?\" \"Yes,Ithinkso!\"saidAdelaida。 \"Youneverknowthedayoftheweek;what’sthedayofthemonth?\" \"Twenty-seventh!\"saidGania。 \"Twenty-seventh;verywell。Good-byenow;youhaveagooddealtodo,I’msure,andImustdressandgoout。Takeyourportrait。 Givemyrespectstoyourunfortunatemother,NinaAlexandrovna。 Aurevoir,dearprince,comeinandseeusoften,do;andIshalltelloldPrincessBielokonskiaboutyou。Ishallgoandseeheronpurpose。Andlisten,mydearboy,IfeelsurethatGodhassentyoutoPetersburgfromSwitzerlandonpurposeforme。Maybeyouwillhaveotherthingstodo,besides,butyouaresentchieflyformysake,Ifeelsureofit。Godsentyoutome!Aurevoir!Alexandra,comewithme,mydear。\" Mrs。Epanchinlefttheroom。 Gania——confused,annoyed,furious——tookuphisportrait,andturnedtotheprincewithanastysmileonhisface。 \"Prince,\"hesaid,\"Iamjustgoinghome。Ifyouhavenotchangedyourmindastolivingwithus,perhapsyouwouldliketocomewithme。Youdon’tknowtheaddress,Ibelieve?\" \"Waitaminute,prince,\"saidAglaya,suddenlyrisingfromherseat,\"dowritesomethinginmyalbumfirst,willyou?Fathersaysyouareamosttalentedcaligraphist;I’llbringyoumybookinaminute。\"Shelefttheroom。 \"Well,aurevoir,prince,\"saidAdelaida,\"Imustbegoingtoo。\" Shepressedtheprince’shandwarmly,andgavehimafriendlysmileasshelefttheroom。ShedidnotsomuchaslookatGania。 \"Thisisyourdoing,prince,\"saidGania,turningonthelattersosoonastheotherswerealloutoftheroom。\"Thisisyourdoing,sir!YOUhavebeentellingthemthatIamgoingtobemarried!\"Hesaidthisinahurriedwhisper,hiseyesflashingwithrageandhisfaceablaze。\"Youshamelesstattler!\" \"Iassureyou,youareunderadelusion,\"saidtheprince,calmlyandpolitely。\"Ididnotevenknowthatyouweretobemarried。\" \"Youheardmetalkingaboutit,thegeneralandme。YouheardmesaythateverythingwastobesettledtodayatNastasiaPhilipovna’s,andyouwentandblurteditouthere。Youlieifyoudenyit。WhoelsecouldhavetoldthemDeviltakeit,sir,whocouldhavetoldthemexceptyourself?Didn’ttheoldwomanasgoodashintasmuchtome?\" \"Ifshehintedtoyouwhotoldheryoumustknowbest,ofcourse; butIneversaidawordaboutit。\" \"Didyougivemynote?Isthereananswer?\"interruptedGania,impatiently。 ButatthismomentAglayacameback,andtheprincehadnotimetoreply。 \"There,prince,\"saidshe,\"there’smyalbum。Nowchooseapageandwritemesomething,willyou?There’sapen,anewone;doyoumindasteelone?Ihaveheardthatyoucaligraphistsdon’tlikesteelpens。\" Conversingwiththeprince,AglayadidnotevenseemtonoticethatGaniawasintheroom。Butwhiletheprincewasgettinghispenready,findingapage,andmakinghispreparationstowrite,GaniacameuptothefireplacewhereAglayawasstanding,totherightoftheprince,andintrembling,brokenaccentssaid,almostinherear: \"Oneword,justonewordfromyou,andI’msaved。\" Theprinceturnedsharplyroundandlookedatbothofthem。 Gania’sfacewasfullofrealdespair;heseemedtohavesaidthewordsalmostunconsciouslyandontheimpulseofthemoment。 Aglayagazedathimforsomesecondswithpreciselythesamecomposureandcalmastonishmentasshehadshownalittlewhilebefore,whentheprincehandedherthenote,anditappearedthatthiscalmsurpriseandseeminglyabsoluteincomprehensionofwhatwassaidtoher,weremoreterriblyoverwhelmingtoGaniathaneventhemostplainlyexpresseddisdainwouldhavebeen。 \"WhatshallIwrite?\"askedtheprince。 \"I’lldictatetoyou,\"saidAglaya,cominguptothetable。\"Nowthen,areyouready?Write,’Inevercondescendtobargain!’Nowputyournameandthedate。Letmeseeit。\" Theprincehandedherthealbum。 \"Capital!Howbeautifullyyouhavewrittenit!Thankssomuch。Aurevoir,prince。Waitaminute,\";sheadded,\"Iwanttogiveyousomethingforakeepsake。Comewithmethisway,willyou?\" Theprincefollowedher。Arrivedatthedining-room,shestopped。 \"Readthis,\"shesaid,handinghimGania’snote。 Theprincetookitfromherhand,butgazedatherinbewilderment。 \"Oh!IKNOWyouhaven’treadit,andthatyoucouldneverbethatman’saccomplice。Readit,Iwishyoutoreadit。\" Theletterhadevidentlybeenwritteninahurry: \"Myfateistobedecidedtoday\"(itran),\"youknowhow。ThisdayImustgivemywordirrevocably。Ihavenorighttoaskyourhelp,andIdarenotallowmyselftoindulgeinanyhopes;butonceyousaidjustoneword,andthatwordlightedupthenightofmylife,andbecamethebeaconofmydays。Sayonemoresuchword,andsavemefromutterruin。Onlytellme,’breakoffthewholething!’andIwilldosothisveryday。Oh!whatcanitcostyoutosayjustthisoneword?Indoingsoyouwillbutbegivingmeasignofyoursympathyforme,andofyourpity;onlythis,onlythis;nothingmore,NOTHING。Idarenotindulgeinanyhope,becauseIamunworthyofit。Butifyousaybutthisword,Iwilltakeupmycrossagainwithjoy,andreturnoncemoretomybattlewithpoverty。Ishallmeetthestormandbegladofit; Ishallriseupwithrenewedstrength。 \"Sendmebackthenthisonewordofsympathy,onlysympathy,I sweartoyou;andoh!donotbeangrywiththeaudacityofdespair,withthedrowningmanwhohasdaredtomakethislastefforttosavehimselffromperishingbeneaththewaters。 \"G。L。\" \"Thismanassuresme,\"saidAglaya,scornfully,whentheprincehadfinishedreadingtheletter,\"thatthewords’breakoffeverything’donotcommitmetoanythingwhatever;andhimselfgivesmeawrittenguaranteetothateffect,inthisletter。