第6章

类别:其他 作者:By FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT字数:5786更新时间:18/12/18 11:15:01
That’sthewaythewillisdonein’eaven。That’swotIarstforalldaylong——forittobedoneonearthasitisin’eaven。’WhatcouldIsay?CouldItellherthatthewilloftheDeityontheearthhecreatedwasonlythewilltodoevil——togivepain——tocrushthecreaturemadeinHisownimage。Whatelsedowemeanwhenwesayunderallhorrorandagonythatbefalls,`ItisGod’swill——God’swillbedone。’ BaseunbelieverthoughIam,Icouldnotspeakthewords。Oh,shehassomethingwehavenot。Herpoor,littlemisspentlifehaschangeditselfintoashiningthing,thoughitshinesandglowsonlyinthishideousplace。 Sheherselfdoesnotknowofitsshining。ButDrunkenBetwouldstaggeruptoherroomandasktobetoldwhatshecalledher`pantermine’ stories。Ihaveseenhertheresittinglistening——listeningwithstrangequietonheranddullyearninginhersoddeneyes。Sowouldotherandworsewomengotoher,andI,whohadstruggledwiththem,couldseethatshehadreachedsomeremotelongingintheirbeingswhichIhadnevertouched。Intimetheseedwouldhavestirredtolife——itisbeginningtostirevennow。Duringthemonthssinceshecamebacktothecourt——thoughtheyhavelaughedather——bothmenandwomenhavebeguntoseeherasacreatureweirdlysetapart。Mostofthemfeelsomethinglikeaweofher;theyhalfbelieveherprayerstobebewitchments,buttheywantthemontheirside。 Theyhaveneverwantedmine。ThatIhaveknown——KNOWN。ShebelievesthatherDeityisinAppleBlossomCourt——inthedireholesitspeoplelivein,onthebrokenstairway,ineverynookandawfulcrannyofit—— agreatGlorywewillnotsee——onlywaitingtobecalledandtoanswer。 Do_I_believeit——doyou——doanyofthoseanointedofuswhopreacheachdaysoglibly`GodisEVERYWHERE’? Whoistheonewhobelieves?IfthereweresuchamanhewouldgoaboutasMosesdidwhen`Hewistnotthathisfaceshone。’\" Theyhadgoneouttogetherandwerestandinginthefoginthecourt。Thecurateremovedhishatandpassedhishandkerchiefoverhisdampforehead,hisbreathcomingandgoingalmostsobbingly,hiseyesstaringstraightbeforehimintotheyellownessofthehaze。 \"Who,\"hesaidafteramomentofsingularsilence,\"whoareyou?\" AntonyDarthesitatedafewseconds,andattheendofhispauseheputhishandintohisovercoatpocket。 \"IfyouwillcomeupstairswithmetotheroomwherethegirlGladlives,Iwilltellyou,\"hesaid,\"butbeforewegoIwanttohandsomethingovertoyou。\" Thecurateturnedanamazedgazeuponhim。 \"Whatisit?\"heasked。 Dartwithdrewhishandfromhispocket,andthepistolwasinit。 \"Icameoutthismorningtobuythis,\"hesaid。\"Iintended——nevermindwhatIintended。Awrongturntakeninthefogbroughtmehere。Takethisthingfrommeandkeepit。\" Thecuratetookthepistolandputitintohisownpocketwithoutcomment。 Inthecourseofhislaborshehadseendesperatemenanddesperatethingsmanytimes。Hehadevenbeen——atmoments——adesperatemanthinkingdesperatethingshimself,thoughnohumanbeinghadeversuspectedthefact。Thismanhadfacedsometragedy,hecouldsee。 Hadhebeenonthevergeofacrime——hadhelookedmurderintheeyes? Whathadmadehimpause?WasitpossiblethatthedreamofJinnyMontaubynbeingintheairhadreachedhisbrain——hisbeing? Helookedalmostappealinglyathim,butheonlysaidaloud: \"Letusgoupstairs,then。\" Sotheywent。 AstheypassedthedooroftheroomwherethedeadwomanlayDartwentinandspoketoMissMontaubyn,whowasstillthere。 \"Iftherearethingswantedhere,\" hesaid,\"thiswillbuythem。\"Andheputsomemoneyintoherhand。 Shedidnotseemsurprisedattheincongruityofhisshabbinessproducingmoney。 \"Well,now,\"shesaid,\"IWAS wonderin’an’askin’。I’dlike’ercleanan’nice,an’there’smilkwantedbadforthebiby。\" IntheroomtheymountedtoGladwastryingtofeedthechildwithbreadsoftenedintea。Pollysatnearherlookingonwithrestless,eagereyes。Shehadneverseenanythingofherownbabybutitslimpnewbornanddeadbodybeingcarriedawayoutofsight。Shehadnotevendaredtoaskwhatwasdonewithsuchpoorlittlecarrion。Thetyrannyofthelawoflifemadeherwanttopawandtouchthislatelybornthing,asheragonyhadgivenhernofruitofherownbodytotouchandpawandnuzzleandcaressasmothercreatureswillwhethertheybewomenortigressesordovesorfemalecats。 \"Letmeholdher,Glad,\"shehalfwhimpered。\"Whenshe’sfedletmegethertosleep。\" \"Allright,\"Gladanswered;\"wecouldlookafter’erbetweenuswellenough。\" Thethiefwasstillsittingonthehearth,butbeingfullfedandcomfortableforthefirsttimeinmanyaday,hehadrestedhisheadagainstthewallandfallenintoprofoundsleep。 \"Wot’sup?\"saidGladwhenthetwomencamein。\"Isanythin’ ’appenin’?\" \"Ihavecomeupheretotellyousomething,\"Dartanswered。\"Letussitdownagainroundthefire。Itwilltakealittletime。\" GladwitheagereyesonhimhandedthechildtoPollyandsatdownwithoutamoment’shesitance,avidofwhatwastocome。Shenudgedthethiefwithfriendlyelbowandhestartedupawake。 \"’E’sgotsomethin’totellus,\" sheexplained。\"Thecurick’scomeupto’earit,too。Sit’ere,Polly,\" withelbowjerktowardthebundleofsacks。\"It’sgotitsstummickfullan’it’llgotosleepfastenough。\" Sotheysatagainintheweirdcircle。Neitherthestrangenessofthegroupnorthesqualorofthehearthwereofanaturetobenewthingstothecurate。HiseyesfixedthemselvesonDart’sface,asdidtheeyesofthethief,thebeggar,andtheyoungthingofthestreet。Nooneglancedawayfromhim。 Histellingofhisstorywasalmostmonotonousinitssemi—reflectivequietnessoftone。Thestrangenesstohimself——thoughitwasastrangenessheacceptedabsolutelywithoutprotest——layinhistellingitatall,andinasenseofhisknowledgethateachofthesecreatureswouldunderstandandmysteriouslyknowwhatdepthshehadtouchedthisday。 \"JustbeforeIleftmylodgingsthismorning,\"hesaid,\"IfoundmyselfstandinginthemiddleofmyroomandspeakingtoSomethingaloud。IdidnotknowIwasgoingtospeak。IdidnotknowwhatI wasspeakingto。Iheardmyownvoicecryoutinagony,`Lord,Lord,whatshallIdotobesaved?’\" Thecuratemadeasuddenmove— mentinhisplaceandhissallowyoungfaceflushed。Buthesaidnothing。 Glad’ssmallandsharpcountenancebecamecurious。 \"`Speak,Lord,thyservant’eareth,’\"shequotedtentatively。 \"No,\"answeredDart;\"itwasnotlikethat。Ihadneverthoughtofsuchthings。Ibelievednothing。 IwasgoingouttobuyapistolandwhenIreturnedintendedtoblowmybrainsout。\" \"Why?\"askedGlad,withpassionatelyintenteyes;\"why?\" \"BecauseIwaswornoutanddonefor,andalltheworldseemedwornoutanddonefor。AndamongotherthingsIbelievedIwasbeginningslowlytogomad。\" Fromthethiefthereburstforthalowgroanandheturnedhisfacetothewall。 \"I’vebeenthere,\"hesaid;\"I’mneartherenow。\" Darttookupspeechagain。 \"Therewasnoanswer——none。 AsIstoodwaiting——Godknowsforwhat——thedeadstillnessoftheroomwaslikethedeadstillnessofthegrave。 AndIwentoutsayingtomysoul,`Thisiswhathappenstothefoolwhocriesaloudinhispain。’\" \"I’vecriedaloud,\"saidthethief,\"andsometimesitseemedasifananswerwascoming——butIalwaysknewitneverwould!\"inatorturedvoice。 \"’Tain’tfairtoarstthatwye,\" Gladputinwithshrewdlogic。 \"MissMontaubynsheallersknowsitWILLcome——an’itdoes。\" \"Something——notmyself——turnedmyfeettowardthisplace,\"saidDart。 \"Iwasthrustfromonethingtoanother。Iwasforcedtoseeandhearthingscloseathand。IthasbeenasifIwasunderaspell。Thewomanintheroombelow——thewomanlyingdead!\"Hestoppedasecond,andthenwenton:\"Thereistoomuchthatiscryingoutaloud。AmansuchasIam——ithasFORCEDitselfuponme——cannotleavesuchthingsandgivehimselftothedust。IcannotexplainclearlybecauseIamnotthinkingasIamaccustomedtothink。Achangehascomeuponme。Ishallnotusethepistol——asImeanttouseit。\" Gladmadeafriendlyclutchatthesleeveofhisshabbycoat。 \"RightO!\"shecried。\"That’sit!YoubuckupsimeasItoldyer。 Y’ain’tstonybrokean’there’s’allersto—morrer。\" AntonyDart’sexpressionwasweirdlyretrospective。 \"Ididnotthinksothismorning,\" heanswered。 \"Butthereis,\"saidthegirl。 \"Ain’ttherenow,curick?There’saloto’workinyeryet;yercoulddoallsortso’thingsify’ain’ttooproud。I’ll’elpyer。So’llthecurick。Y’ain’tfoundoutyetwhatalittlefolkscanliveontillluckturns。Me,I’mgoin’totryMissMontaubyn’swye。Le’sbothtry。Le’sbelievethingsiscomin’。 Le’sget’ertotalktoussomemore。\" Thecuratewasthinkingthethingoverdeeply。 \"Yersee,\"Gladenlargedcheerfully,\"yerlookalmostlikeagentleman。 P’rapsyercanwriteagood’andan’spellallright。Canyer?\" \"Yes。\" \"Ithink,perhaps,\"thecuratebeganreflectively,\"particularlyifyoucanwritewell,Imightbeabletogetyousomework。\" \"Idonotwantwork,\"Dartansweredslowly。\"AtleastIdonotwantthekindyouwouldbelikelytoofferme。\" Thecuratefeltashock,asifcoldwaterhadbeendashedoverhim。 Somehowithadnotonceoccurredtohimthatthemancouldbeoneoftheeducateddegenerateviciousforwhomnopowertohelplayinanyhands——yethewasnotthecommonvagrant——andhewasplainlyonthepointofproducinganexcuseforrefusingwork。 Theotherman,seeinghisstartandhisamazed,troubledflush,putoutahandandtouchedhisarmapologetically。 \"Ibegyourpardon,\"hesaid。 \"OneofthethingsIwasgoingtotellyou——Ihadnotfinished——wasthatIAMwhatiscalledagentleman。 Iamalsowhattheworldknowsasarichman。IamSirOliverHolt。\" Eachmemberofthepartygazedathimaghast。Itwasanenormousnametoclaim。Eventhetwofemalecreaturesknewwhatitstoodfor。Itwasthenamewhichrepresentedthegreatestwealthandpowerintheworldoffinanceandschemesofbusiness。 Itstoodforfinancialinfluencewhichcouldchangethefaceofnationalfortunesandbringaboutcrises。Itwasknownthroughouttheworld。YesterdaythenewspaperrumorthatitsownerhadmysteriouslyleftEnglandhadcausedmenon’Changetodiscusspossibilitiestogetherwithloweredvoices。 Gladstaredatthecurate。Forthefirsttimeshelookeddisturbedandalarmed。 \"Blimme,\"sheejaculated,\"’e’sgoneoff’isnut,porechap!——’e’sgoneoffit!\" \"No,\"themananswered,\"youshallcometome\"——hehesitatedasecondwhileashadepassedoverhiseyes——\"TO—MORROW。Andyoushallsee。\" Herosequietlytohisfeetandthecuraterosealso。Abnormalastheclimaxwas,itwastobeseenthattherewasnomistakeabouttherevelation。Themanwasacreatureofauthorityandusedtocarryingconvictionbyhisunsupportedword。 Thatmadeitself,bysomeclear,unspokenmethod,plain。 \"YouareSirOliverHolt!Andafewhoursagoyouwereonthepointof——\" \"Endingitall——inanobscurelodging。Afterwardtheearthwouldhavebeenshovelledontoawork— housecoffin。Itwasanawfulthing。\" Heshookoffapassionateshudder。 \"Therewasnowealthonearththatcouldgivemeamoment’sease—— sleep——hope——life。ThewholeworldwasfullofthingsIloathedthesightandthoughtof。Thedoctorssaidmyconditionwasphysical。Perhapsitwas——perhapsto—dayhasstrangelygivenahealthfuljolttomynerves——perhapsIhavebeendraggedawayfromtheagonyofmorbidityandplungedintonewintenseemotionswhichhavesavedmefromthelastthingandtheworst——SAVED me!\" Hestoppedsuddenlyandhisfaceflushed,andthenquiteslowlyturnedpale。 \"SAVEDME!\"herepeatedthewordsasthecuratesawtheawedbloodcreepinglyrecede。\"Whoknows,whoknows!Howmanyexplanationsoneisreadytogivebeforeonethinksofwhatwesaywebelieve。 Perhapsitwas——theAnswer!\" Thecuratebowedhisheadreverently。 \"Perhapsitwas。\" ThegirlGladsatclingingtoherknees,hereyeswideandawedandwithasuddengushofhysterictearsrushingdownhercheeks。 \"That’sthewye!That’sthewye!\"shegulpedout。\"Noonewon’tneverbelieve——theywon’t,NEVER。That’swhatshesees,MissMontaubyn。Youdon’t,’Edon’t,\" withajerktowardthecurate。\"I ain’tnothin’butME,butblimmeifI don’t——blimme!\" SirOliverHoltgrewpalerstill。 HefeltashehaddonewhenJinnyMontaubyn’spoordresssweptagainsthim。Hisvoiceshookwhenhespoke。 \"SodoI,\"hesaidwithasuddendeepcatchofthebreath;\"itwastheAnswer。\" InafewmomentsmorehewenttothegirlPollyandlaidahandonhershoulder。 \"Ishalltakeyouhometoyourmother,\"hesaid。\"Ishalltakeyoumyselfandcareforyouboth。Sheshallknownothingyouareafraidofherhearing。Ishallaskhertobringupthechild。Youwillhelpher。\" Thenhetouchedthethief,whogotupwhiteandshakingandwitheyesmoistwithexcitement。 \"Youshallneverseeanothermanclaimyourthoughtbecauseyouhavenottimeormoneytoworkitout。 Youwillgowithme。Thereareto—morrowsenoughforyou!\" Gladstillsatclingingtoherkneesandwithtearsrunning,buttheuglinessofhersharp,smallfacewasathinganangelmighthavepausedtosee。 \"Youdon’twanttogoawayfromhere,\"SirOliversaidtoher,andsheshookherhead。 \"No,notme。ItoldyerwotI wanted。Lemmedoit。\" \"Youshall,\"heanswered,\"andIwillhelpyou。\" ThethingswhichdevelopedinAppleBlossomCourtlater,thethingswhichcametoeachofthosewhohadsatintheweirdcircleroundthefire,therevelationsofnewexistencewhichcametoherself,arousednoamazementinJinnyMontaubyn’smind。Shehadaskedandbelievedallthings——andallthiswasbutanotheroftheAnswers。