第4章

类别:其他 作者:By FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT字数:7925更新时间:18/12/18 11:15:01
GladandPollyoccupiedthemselveswiththeirownfood。 AntonyDartgazedatthefire。 Herehesatwarminghimselfinaloftwithabeggar,athief,andahelplessthingofthestreet。Hehadcomeouttobuyapistol——itsweightstillhunginhisovercoatpocket—— andhehadreachedthisplaceofwhoseexistencehehadanhouragonotdreamed。Eachstepwhichhadledhimhadseemedasimple,inevitablething,forwhichhehadapparentlybeenresponsible,butwhichheknew——yes,somehowheKNEW——hehadofhisownvolitionneitherplannednormeant。Yetherehesat——apartofthelivesofthebeggar,thethief,andthepoorthingofthestreet。Whatdiditmean? \"Tellme,\"hesaidtothethief,\"howyoucamehere。\" Bythistimetheyoungfellowhadfedhimselfandlookedlesslikeawolf。Itwastobeseennowthathehadblue—grayeyeswhichweredreamyandyoung。 \"Ihavealwaysbeeninventingthings,\"hesaidalittlehuskily。\"I diditwhenIwasachild。Ialwaysseemedtoseetheremightbeawayofdoingathingbetter——gettingmorepower。WhenotherboyswereplayinggamesIwassittingincornerstryingtobuildmodelsoutofwireandstring,andoldboxesandtincans。IoftenthoughtIsawthewaytothings,butIwasalwaystoopoortogetwhatwasneededtoworkthemout。TwiceIheardofmenmakinggreatnamesandfortunesbecausetheyhadbeenabletofinishwhatIcouldhavefinishedifI hadhadafewpounds。Itusedtodrivememadandbreakmyheart。\" Hishandsclenchedthemselvesandhishuskinessgrewthicker。\"Therewasaman,\"catchinghisbreath,\"wholeapedtothetopoftheladderandsetthewholeworldtalkingandwriting——andIhaddonethethingFIRST——IswearIhad!Itwasallclearinmybrain,andIwashalfmadwithjoyoverit,butIcouldnotaffordtoworkitout。Hecould,sototheendoftimeitwillbeHIS。\"Hestruckhisfistuponhisknee。 \"Aw!\"ThedeeplittledrawlwasagroanfromGlad。 \"Igotaplaceinanofficeatlast。 Iworkedhard,andtheybegantotrustme。I——hadanewidea。Itwasabigone。Ineededmoneytoworkitout。I——Irememberedwhathadhappenedbefore。Ifeltlikeapoorfellowrunningaraceforhislife。IKNEWIcouldpaybacktentimes——ahundredtimes——whatItook。\" \"Youtookmoney?\"saidDart。 Thethief’sheaddropped。 \"No。IwascaughtwhenIwastakingit。Iwasn’tsharpenough。 Someonecameinandsawme,andtherewasacrazyrow。Iwassenttoprison。Therewasnomoretryingafterthat。It’snearlytwoyearssince,andI’vebeenhangingaboutthestreetsandfallinglowerandlower。I’verunmilespantingaftercabswithluggageinthemandnothadstrengthtocarryintheboxeswhentheystopped。I’vestarvedandsleptoutofdoors。ButthethingIwantedtoworkoutisinmymindallthetime——likesomemachinetearinground。Itwantstobefinished。Itneverwillbe。 That’sall。\" Gladwasleaningforwardstaringathim,herroughenedhandswiththesmearedcracksonthemclaspedroundherknees。 \"Things’AStobefinished,\"shesaid。\"Theyfinishtheirselves。\" \"Howdoyouknow?\"Dartturnedonher。 \"Dunno’OWIknow——butIdo。 Whenthingsbegintheyfinish。It’slikeawheelrollin’downan’ill。\" HersharpeyesfixedthemselvesonDart’s。\"Allofus’llfinishsomethin’—— ’coswe’vebegun。Youwill——Pollywill——’ewill——Iwill。\" Shestoppedwithasuddensheepishchuckleanddroppedherforeheadonherknees,giggling。\"DunnowotI’mtalkingabout,\"shesaid,\"butit’strue。\" Dartbegantounderstandthatitwas。Andhealsosawthatthisraggedthingwhoknewnothingwhatever,lookedoutontheworldwiththeeyesofaseer,thoughshewasignorantofthemeaningofherownknowledge。Itwasaweirdthing。HeturnedtothegirlPolly。 \"Tellmehowyoucamehere,\" hesaid。 Hespokeinalowvoiceandgently。Hedidnotwanttofrightenher,buthewantedtoknowhowSHE hadbegun。Whensheliftedherchildisheyestohis,herchinbegantoshake。Forsomereasonshedidnotquestionhisrighttoaskwhathewould。Sheansweredhimmeekly,asherfingersfumbledwiththestuffofherdress。 \"Ilivedinthecountrywithmymother,\"shesaid。\"Wewasveryhappytogether。Inthespringtherewasprimrosesand——andlambs。I ——can’tabidetolookatthesheepintheparkthesedays。Theyremindmeso。Therewasagirlinthevillagegotaplaceintownandcamebackandtoldusallaboutit。 Itmademesilly。Iwantedtocomehere,too。I——Icame——\" Sheputherarmoverherfaceandbegantosob。 \"Shecan’ttellyou,\"saidGlad。 \"Therewasaswellinthe’ousemadelovetoher。Sheusedtocarryupcoalsto’isparloran’’etalkedto’er。’E’adawyewith’im——\" Pollybrokeintoasmotheredwail。 \"Oh,Ididlovehimso——Idid!\" shecried。\"I’dhavelethimwalkoverme。I’dhavelethimkillme。\" \"’Enearlydidit,\"saidGlad。 \"’Ewentawaysuddenan’she’snever’eardwordof’imsince。\" FromunderPolly’sface—hidingarmcamebrokenwords。 \"Icouldn’ttellmymother。I didnotknowhow。Iwastoofrightenedandashamed。Nowit’stoolate。Ishallneverseemymotheragain,anditseemsasifallthelambsandprimrosesintheworldwasdead。 Oh,they’redead——they’redead—— andIwishIwas,too!\" Glad’seyeswinkedrapidlyandshegaveahoarselittlecoughtoclearherthroat。Herarmsstillclaspingherknees,shehitchedherselfclosertothegirlandgaveheranudgewithherelbow。 \"Buckup,Polly,\"shesaid,\"weain’tnoneofusfinishedyet。Lookatusnow——sittin’byourownfirewithbreadandpuddin’insideus—— an’thinkwotwewasthismornin’。 Whoknowswotwe’ll’avethistimeto—morrer。\" ThenshestoppedandlookedwithawidegrinatAntonyDart。 \"OwdidIcome’ere?\"shesaid。 \"Yes,\"heanswered,\"howdidyoucomehere?\" \"Idunno,\"shesaid;\"Iwas’erefirstthingIremember。Ilivedwithaoldwomaninanother’ouseinthecourt。Onemornin’whenIwokeupshewasdead。SometimesI’vebeggedan’soldmatches。SometimesI’vetookcareofwomen’schildrenor’elped’emwhenthey’adtolieup。 I’veseenalot——butIliketoseealot。’OpeI’llseealotmoreaforeI’mdone。I’musedtobein’’ungryan’cold,an’allthat,but——butI allersliketoseewhat’scomin’to— morrer。There’sallerssomethin’ elseto—morrer。That’sallaboutME,\"andshechuckledagain。 Dartpickedupsomefreshsticksandthrewthemonthefire。Therewassomefinecracklingandanewflameleapedup。 \"Ifyoucoulddowhatyouliked,\" hesaid,\"whatwouldyouliketodo?\" Herchucklebecameanoutrightlaugh。 \"IfI’adtenpounds?\"sheasked,evidentlypreparedtoadjustherselfinimaginationtoanyformofun— looked—forgoodluck。 \"Ifyouhadmore?\" Histonemadethethieflifthisheadtolookathim。 \"IfI’adawandliketheoneJemtoldmewasinthepantermine?\" \"Yes,\"heanswered。 Shesatandstaredatthefireafewmoments,andthenbegantospeakinalowluxuriatingvoice。 \"I’dgetabetterroom,\"shesaid,revelling。\"There’soneinthenext’ouse。I’d’aveafewstickso’ furnisherinit——abedan’achairortwo。I’dgetsomewarmpetticutsan’ashawlan’a’at——withaostrichfeatherinit。Pollyan’ me’dlivetogether。We’d’avefirean’grubeveryday。I’dgetdrunkenBet’sbibyputinan’ome。 I’d’elpthewomenwhenthey’adtolieup。I’d——I’d’elp’IMabit,\" withajerkofherelbowtowardthethief。\"If’ewaskeptfedp’r’aps’ecouldworkoutthatthingin’is’ead。 I’dgoroundthecourtan’’elpthemwith’usbandsthatknocks’emabout。 I’d——I’dputastoptotheknockin’ about,\"aqueerfixedlookshowingitselfinhereyes。\"IfI’admoneyIcoulddoit。’Owmuch,\"withsuddenprudence,\"couldabody’ave——withoneo’themwands?\" \"Morethanenoughtodoallyouhavespokenof,\"answeredDart。 \"It’sashimeabodycouldn’t’aveit。AppleBlossomCourt’dbeadifferentthing。It’dbethesimeasMissMontaubynsaysit’sgoin’tobe。\"Shelaughedagain,thistimeasifrememberingsomethingfantastic,butnotdespicable。 \"WhoisMissMontaubyn?\" \"She’sa’oldwomanaslivesnextfloorbelow。Whenshewasyoungshewasprettyan’usedtodanceinthe’alls。DrunkenBetsaysshewasoneo’thewust。Whenshegotolditmade’ermadan’shegotwusser。 Shewasreadytoteargalseyesout,an’whenshe’dgettookformakin’ arowshe’dfightlikeatigercat。 Aboutayearagoshetumbleddownstairswhenshe’d’adtoomuchan’ shebrokeboth’erlegs。Youremember,Polly?\" Pollyhidherfaceinherhands。 \"Oh,whentheytookherawaytothehospital!\"sheshuddered。\"Oh,whentheyliftedheruptocarryher!\" \"IthoughtPolly’d’aveafitwhenshe’eard’erscreamin’an’swearin’。 My!itwaslangwich!Butitwasthe’orspitledidit。\" \"Didwhat?\" \"Dunno,\"withanuncertain,evenslightlyawedlaugh。\"Dunnowotitdid——neitherdoesnobodyelse,butsomethin’’appened。Itwasalongofalidyascomeinonedayan’talkedto’erwhenshewaslyin’ there。Myeye,\"chuckling,\"itwasqueertalk!ButIlikedit。P’rapsitwaslies,butitwascheerfleliesthat’elpsyer。WhatIsesis——ifTHINGSain’tcheerfle,PEOPLE’Sgottobe——tofightitout。Thewomeninthe’ouselarftfittokilltheirselveswhenshefustcome’omelimpin’an’ talkedto’emaboutwhatthelidytold’er。Butarterabittheylikedto’ear’er——justalongo’thecheerfleness。Saiditwaslikeapantermine。DrunkenBetsaysifshecouldget’old’fitan’believeitsimeasJinnyMontaubyndoesit’dbeascheerin’asdrinkan’lastlonger。\" \"Isitakindofreligion?\"Dartasked,havingavaguememoryofrumorsoffantasticnewtheoriesandhalf—bornbeliefswhichhadseemedtohimweirdvisionsfloatingthroughfaggedbrainsweariedbyolddoubtsandargumentsandfailures。Theworldwastired——thewholeearthwassad——centurieshadwroughtonlytotheendofthistwentiethcentury’sdespair。Wasthestrugglewakingevenhere——inthisbackwaterofthehugecity’shumantide? hewonderedwithdullinterest。 \"Isitakindofreligion?\"hesaid。 \"It’scheerfler。\"Gladthrustouthersharpchinuncertainlyagain。 \"There’sno’ellfireinit。An’ thereain’tnoblimelaidonGodamighty。\"(ThewordassheuttereditseemedtohavenoconnectionwhateverwithherusualcolloquialinvocationoftheDeity。)\"WhenadrayrunoverlittleBillyan’crushed’iminterarag,an’’ismotherwasscreamin’an’draggin’’er’airdown,thecurick’eses,`It’sGawd’swill,’ ’eses——an’’eain’tnobadsortneither,an’’isficewaswhitean’wetwithsweat——`Gawddoneit,’’eses。 An’me,I’dnussedthechildan’I clawedme’airsimeasifIwas’ismotheran’Iscreamedout,`Thendamn’im!’An’thecurick’edroppedsittin’downonthecurb— stonean’’id’isficein’is’ands。\" Darthidhisownfaceafterthemannerofthewretchedcurate。 \"Nowonder,\"hegroaned。Hisbloodturnedcold。 \"But,\"saidGlad,\"MissMontaubyn’slidyshesaysGodamightyneverdoneitnorneverintendedit,an’ifwekep’sayin’an’believin’’e’sclosetousan’notmillyunso’milesaway,we’dbetookcareofwhilstwewasalivean’not’avetowaittillwewasdead。\" Shegotuponherfeetandthrewupherarmswithasuddenjerkandinvoluntarygesture。 \"I’malive!I’malive!\"shecriedout,\"I’vegotterbetookcareofNOW!That’swhyIlikewotshetellsaboutit。Sodoesthewomen。 Weain’tnomorereasonterbesureofwotthecuricksaysthanterbesureo’this。DunnoasI’vegotterchooseeitherway,butifI’ad,I’dchoosethecheerflest。\" Darthadsatstaringather——sohadPolly——sohadthethief。Dartrubbedhisforehead。 \"Idonotunderstand,\"hesaid。 \"’Tain’tunderstanding!It’sbelievin’。Blessyer,SHEdoesn’tunderstand。Isay,let’sgoan’talkto’erabit。Shedon’tmindnothin’,an’ she’llletusin。WecanleavePollyan’’im’ere。Theycanmakesomemoreteaan’drinkit。\" Itendedintheirgoingoutoftheroomtogetheragainandstumblingoncemoredownthestairway’scrookedness。AtthebottomofthefirstshortflighttheystoppedinthedarknessandGladknockedatadoorwithasummonsmanifestlyexpectantofcheerfulwelcome。Sheusedtheformulashehadusedbefore。 \"’Son’yme,MissMontaubyn,\" shecriedout。\"’Son’yGlad。\" Thedooropenedinwidewelcome,andconfrontingthemasshehelditshandlestoodasmalloldwomanwithanastonishingface。Itwasastonishingbecausewhileitwaswitheredandwrinkledwithmarksofpastyearswhichhadoncestampedtheirrecklessunsavorinessuponitseveryline,somestrangeredeemingthinghadhappenedtoitanditsexpressionwasthatofacreaturetowhomtheopeningofadoorcouldonlymeantheentrance——thetumblinginasitwere——ofhopesrealized。 Itssurfacewassweptcleanofeventhevaguestanticipationofanythingnottobedesired。Smilingasitdidthroughtheblackdoorwayintotheunrelievedshadowofthepassage,itstruckAntonyDartatoncethatitactuallyimpliedthis—— andthatinthisplace——andindeedinanyplace——nothingcouldhavebeenmoreastonishing。Whatcould,indeed? \"Well,well,\"shesaid,\"comein,Glad,blessyer。\" \"I’vebroughtagentto’earyertalkabit,\"Gladexplainedinformally。 Thesmalloldwomanraisedhertwinklingoldfacetolookathim。 \"Ah!\"shesaid,asifsummingupwhatwasbeforeher。\"’Ethinksit’sworsethanitis,doesn’t’e,now? Comein,sir,do。\" ThistimeitstruckDartthatherlookseemedactuallytoanticipatetheevolvingofsomewonderfulanddesirablethingfromhimself。Asifevenhisgloomcarriedwithittreasureasyetundisplayed。Assheknewnothingofthetensovereigns,hewonderedwhat,inGod’sname,shesaw。 Thepovertyofthelittlesquareroomhadanoddcheerinit。MuchscrubbinghadremovedfromittheobjectionsmanifestinGlad’sroomabove。Therewasasmallredfireinthegrate,astripofold,butgaycarpetbeforeit,twochairsandatablewerecoveredwithaharlequinpatchworkmadeofbrightoddsandendsofallsizesandshapes。Thefoginallitsmurkyvolumecouldnotquiteobscurethebrightnessoftheoftenrubbedwindowanditsharlequincurtaindrawnacrossuponastring。 \"Blessyer,\"saidMissMontaubyn,\"sitdown。\" Dartsatandthankedher。GladdroppeduponthefloorandgirdledherkneescomfortablywhileMissMontaubyntookthesecondchair,whichwasclosetothetable,andsnuffedthecandlewhichstoodnearabasketofcoloredscrapssuchas,withoutdoubt,hadmadetheharlequincurtain。 \"Yerwon’tmindmegoin’onwithmebito’work?\"shechirped。 \"Tell’imwotitis,\"Gladsuggested。 \"Theycomefromadressmakerasisinasmallway,\"designatingthescrapsbyagesture。\"Icleanupfor’eran’ sheletsme’ave’em。Imake’emupintoanythinkIcan——pin—cushionsan’ bagsan’curtingsan’balls。Nobody’dthinkwottheyruntosometimes。 Nowan’thenIsellsomeof’em。 WotIcan’tsellIgiveaway。\" \"DrunkenBet’sbibyplayswith’erballallday,\"saidGlad。 \"Ah!\"saidMissMontaubyn,drawingoutalongneedlefulofthread,\"Bet,SHEthinksitworsethanitis。\" \"Coulditbeworse?\"askedDart。 \"Couldanythingbeworsethaneverythingis?\" \"Lots,\"suggestedGlad;\"might’avebrokeyourback,might’aveafever,mightbeinjailforknifin’ someone。’Ewantsto’earyoutalk,MissMontaubyn;tell’imallaboutyerself。\" \"Me!\"herexpectanteyesonhim。 \"’Ewouldn’twantto’earit。I shouldn’twantto’earitmyself。 Bein’onthe’allswhenyeraprettygirlain’tan’elpfullife;an’bein’ tookupan’droppeddowntillyerdroppedinthegutteran’don’tknow’owtogetout——it’swotyermustn’tletyermindgobackto。\" \"That’swotthelidysaid,\"calledoutGlad。\"Tell’imaboutthelidy。 Shedoesn’tevenknowwhoshewas。\" TheremarkwastossedtoDart。 \"Nevereven’eard’ername,\"withunabatedcheersaidMissMontaubyn。 \"Shecomean’shewentan’metoolowtodoanythingbutliean’lookat’erandlisten。An’`Whichofustwoismad?’Isestomyself。ButI laythinkin’andthinkin’——an’itwassocheerfleIcouldn’tgetitoutofme’ead——nornever’avesince。\" \"Whatdidshesay?\" \"Icouldn’trememberthewords——itwasthewaytheytookawaythingsabody’safraidof。Itwasaboutthingsnever’avin’reallybeenlikewotwethoughttheywas。 Godamightynow,thereain’tabitof’armin’im。\" \"What?\"hesaidwithastart。 \"’Eneverdonetheaccidentsandthetrouble。Itwasusaswentoutofthelightintothedark。Ifwe’dkep’inthelightallthetime,an’ thoughtaboutit,an’talkedaboutit,we’dnever’adnothin’else。’Tain’tpunishmentneither。’Tain’tnothin’ butthedark——an’thedarkain’tnothin’butthelightbein’away。 `Keepinthelight,’sheses,`neverthinkofnothin’else,an’thenyou’llbeginan’seethings。Everybody’sbeenafraid。Thereain’tnoneed。 YoubelieveTHAT。’\" \"Believe?\"saidDartheavily。 Shenodded。 \"`Yes,’sesIto’er,`that’swherethetroublecomesin——believin’。’ Andsheanswersascoolascouldbe:`Yes,itis,’sheses,`we’veallbeenthinkin’we’vebeenbelievin’,an’noneofus’as。Ifwe’adwhat’dtherebetobeafraidof?Ifwebelievedakingwasgivin’usourlivin’an’takin’careofuswho’dbeafraidofnot’avin’enoughtoeat?’\" \"Who?\"groanedDart。Hesathanginghisheadandstaringatthefloor。Thiswasanotherphaseofthedream。 \"`Whereis’E?’Ises。`’Imasbreaksoldwomen’slegsan’crushesbabiesunderwheels——soasthey’llberesigned?’An’allofasuddenshecallsoutquiteloud:`Nowhere,’ sheses。`An’neverwas。But’Imasstretchedforththe’eavensan’laidthefoundationsoftheearth,’ImasistheLifean’Loveoftheworld,’E’s’ERE!Stretchoutyer’and,’sheses,’an’callout,\"Speak,Lord,thyservant’eareth,\"an’ye’ll’earan’SEE。 An’neveryoustopsayin’it——letyer’eartbeatitan’yerbreathbreatheit——an’yer’llfindyergoin’aboutlaughin’softtoyerselfan’lovin’ everythin’asifitwasyerownchildatbreast。An’no’armcancometoyer。Tryitwhenyergo’ome。’\" \"Didyou?\"askedDart。 Gladansweredforherwithatremulous——yesitwasaTREMULOUS—— giggle,aweirdlymovedlittlesound。 \"Whenshewakesinthemornin’ shesesto’erself,`Goodthingsisgoin’tocometo—day——cheerflethings。’Whenthere’saknockatthedoorsheses,`Somethin’friendly’scomin’in。’An’whenDrunkenBet’smakin’arowan’ragin’an’tearin’ an’threatenin’to’ave’ereyesoutof’erfice,sheses,`Lor,Bet,yerdon’tmeanawordofit——yerafriendtoeverywomaninthe’ouse。’Whenshedon’tknowwhichwaytoturn,shestandsstillan’ses,`Speak,Lord,thyservant’eareth,’an’thenshedoeswotevernextcomesinto’ermind—— an’shesaysit’sallustherightanswer。