第2章

ORGON Youarethesoleexpounderofthedoctrine; Wdomshalldiewithyou，nodoubt，goodbrother，Youaretheonlywe，thesoleenlightened，Theoracle，theCato，ofourage。 Allmen，comparedtoyou，aredownrightfools。 CLEANTE I’mnotthesoleexpounderofthedoctrine，Andwdomshallnotdiewithme，goodbrother。 ButthIknow，thoughitbeallmyknowledge，Thatthere’sadifference’twixtfalseandtrue。 AndasIfindnokindofheromoreTobeadmiredthanmenoftruereligion，NothingmorenobleormorebeautifulThantheholyzealoftruedevoutness; JustsoIthinkthere’snaughtmoreodiousThanwhitedsepulchresofoutwardunction，Thosebarefacedcharlatans，thosehirelingzealots，Whosesacrilegious，treacherouspretenceDeceivesatwill，andwithimpunityMakesmockeryofallthatmenholdsacred; Menwho，enslavedtoselfhinterests，Maketradeandmerchandeofgodliness，AndtrytopurchaseinfluenceandofficeWithfalseeye—rollingsandaffectedraptures; Thosemen，Isay，whowithuncommonzealSeektheirownfortunesontheroadtoheaven; Who，skilledinprayer，havealwaysmuchtoask，Andliveatcourttopreachretirement; Whoreconcilereligionwiththeirvices，Arequicktoanger，vengeful，faithless，tricky，And，todestroyaman，willhavetheboldnessTocalltheirprivategrudgethecauseofheaven; Allthemoredangerous，sinceintheirangerTheyuseagainstusweaponsmenrevere，Andsincetheymaketheworldapplaudtheirpassion，Andseektostabuswithasacredsword。 Therearetoomanyofthcantingkind。 Still，thesincereareeasytodtinguh; Andmanysplendidpatternsmaybefound，Inourowntime，beforeourveryeyesLookatArton，Periandre，Oronte，Alcidamas，Clitandre，andPolydore; Noonedeniestheirclaimtotruereligion; Yetthey’renobraggadociosofvirtue，Theydonotmakeinsufferabledplay，Andtheirreligion’shuman，tractable; Theyarenotalwaysjudgingallouractions，They’dthinksuchjudgmentsavouredofpresumption; And，leavingprideofwordstoothermen，’Tbytheirdeedsalonetheycensureours。 EvilappearancesfindlittlecreditWiththem;theyeveninclinetothinkthebestOfothers。Nocaballers，nointriguers，Theymindthebusinessoftheirownrightliving。 Theydon’tattackasinnertoothandnail，Forsin’stheonlyobjectoftheirhatred; Noraretheyover—zealoustoattemptFarmoreinheaven’sbehalfthanheavenwouldhave’em。 Thatmykindofman，thattrueliving，Thatthepatternweshouldsetourselves。 Yourfellowwasnotfashionedonthmodel; You’requitesincereinboastingofhzeal; Butyou’redeceived，Ithink，byfalsepretences。 ORGON Mydeargoodbrother—in—law，haveyouquitedone？ CLEANTE Yes。 ORGON I’myourhumbleservant。 （Startstogo。） CLEANTE Justaword。 We’lldropthatothersubject。ButyouknowValerehashadthepromeofyourdaughter。 ORGON Yes。 CLEANTE Youhadnamedthehappyday。 ORGON ’Ttrue。 CLEANTE Thenwhyputoffthecelebrationofit？ ORGON Ican’tsay。 CLEANTE CanyouhavesomeotherplanInmind？ ORGON Perhaps。 CLEANTE Youmeantobreakyourword？ ORGON Idon’tsaythat。 CLEANTE IhopenoobstacleCankeepyoufromperformingwhatyou’vepromed。 ORGON Well，thatdepends。 CLEANTE Whymustyoubeatabout？ Valerehassentmeheretosettlematters。 ORGON Heavenbepraed！ CLEANTE WhatanswershallItakehim？ ORGON Why，anythingyouplease。 CLEANTE ButwemustknowYourplans。Whatarethey？ ORGON IshalldothewillOfHeaven。 CLEANTE Come，beserious。You’vegivenYourprometoValere。Nowwillyoukeepit？ ORGON Good—bye。 CLEANTE（alone） Hlove，methinks，hasmuchtofear; Imustgolethimknowwhat’shappeninghere。 ACTII SCENEI ORGON，MARIANE ORGON Now，Mariane。 MARIANE Yes，father？ ORGON Come;I’lltellyouAsecret。 MARIANE YesWhatareyoulookingfor？ ORGON（lookingintoasmallcloset—room） Toseethere’snoonetheretospyuponus; Thatlittlecloset’smightyfittohidein。 There！We’reallrightnow。Mariane，inyouI’vealwaysfoundadaughterdutifulAndgentle。SoI’vealwaysloveyoudearly。 MARIANE I’mgratefulforyourfatherlyaffection。 ORGON Wellspoken，daughter。Now，proveyoudeserveitBydoingasIwhinallrespects。 MARIANE Todosotheheightofmyambition。 ORGON Excellentwell。Whatsayyouof——Tartuffe？ MARIANE Who？I？ ORGON Yes，you。Looktoithowyouanswer。 MARIANE Why！I’llsayofhim——anythingyouplease。 SCENEII ORGON，MARIANE，DORINE（cominginquietlyandstandingbehindOrgon，sothathedoesnotseeher） ORGON Wellspoken。Agoodgirl。Saythen，mydaughter，Thatallhpersonshineswithnoblemerit，Thathehaswonyourheart，andyouwouldlikeTohavehim，bymychoice，becomeyourhusband。 Eh？ MARIANE Eh？ ORGON Whatsayyou？ MARIANE Please，whatdidyousay？ ORGON What？ MARIANE SurelyImtookyou，sir？ ORGON Hownow？ MARIANE Whoit，father，youwouldhavemesayHaswonmyheart，andIwouldliketohaveBecomemyhusband，byyourchoice？ ORGON Tartuffe。 MARIANE But，father，Iprotestitn’ttrue！ Whyshouldyoumakemetellthdreadfullie？ ORGON BecauseImeantohaveitbethetruth。 Letthsufficeforyou:I’vesettledit。 MARIANE What，father，youwould？ ORGON Yes，child，I’mresolvedTograftTartuffeintomyfamily。 Sohemustbeyourhusband。ThatI’vesettled。 Andsinceyourduty…… （SeeingDorine） Whatareyoudoingthere？ Yourcuriositykeen，mygirl，Tomakeyoucomeeavesdroppingonusso。 DORINE Uponmyword，Idon’tknowhowtherumourGotstarted——if’twasguess—workormerechanceButIhadheardalreadyofthmatch，Andtreateditasutterstuffandnonsense。 ORGON What！thethingincredible？ DORINE SomuchsoIdon’tbelieveitevenfromyourself，sir。 ORGON Iknowawaytomakeyoucreditit。 DORINE No，no，you’retellingusafairlytale！ ORGON I’mtellingyoujustwhatwillhappenshortly。 DORINE Stuff！ ORGON Daughter，whatIsayingoodearnest。 DORINE There，there，don’ttakeyourfatherseriously; He’sfooling。 ORGON ButItellyou DORINE No。Nouse。 Theywon’tbelieveyou。 ORGON IfIletmyanger DORINE Well，then，wedobelieveyou;andtheworseForyouit。What！Canagrown—upmanWiththatexpanseofbeardacrosshfaceBemadenoughtowant？ ORGON Youharkme: You’vetakenonyourselfhereinthhouseAsortoffreefamiliarityThatIdon’tlike，Itellyoufrankly，girl。 DORINE There，there，let’snotgetangry，sir，Ibegyou。 Butareyoumakinggameofeverybody？ Yourdaughter’snotcutoutforbigot’smeat; Andhehasmoreimportantthingstothinkof。 Besides，whatcanyougainbysuchamatch？ Howcanamanofwealth，likeyou，gochooseAwretchedvagabondforson—in—law？ ORGON Youholdyourtongue。Andknow，thelesshehas，Thebettercausehavewetohonourhim。 Hpovertyhonestpoverty; Itshouldexalthimmorethanworldlygrandeur，Forhehaslethimselfberobbedofall，ThroughcarelessdregardoftemporalthingsAndfixedattachmenttothethingseternal。 Myhelpmaysethimonhfeetagain，Winbackhproperty——afairestateHehasathome，soI’minformed——andprovehimForwhathe，atrue—borngentleman。 DORINE Yes，sohesayshimself。SuchvanityButillaccordswithpiousliving，sir。 ThemanwhocaresforholinessaloneShouldnotsoloudlyboasthnameandbirth; ThehumblewaysofgenuinedevoutnessBrooknotsomuchdplayofearthlypride。 Whyshouldhebesovain？ButIoffendyou: Let’sleavehrank，then，——takethemanhimself: CanyouwithoutcompunctiongiveamanLikehimpossessionofagirllikeher？ Thinkwhatascandal’ssuretocomeofit！ Virtueatthemercyofthefates，Whenagirl’smarriedtoamanshehates; ThebestintenttoliveanhonestwomanDependsuponthehusband’sbeinghuman，AndmenwhosebrowsarepointedatafarMaythankthemselvestheirwivesarewhattheyare。 Fortobetruemorethanwomancan，Withhusbandsbuiltuponacertainplan; AndhewhowedshchildagainstherwillOwesheavenaccountforit，ifshedoill。 Thinkthenwhatperilswaitonyourdesign。 ORGON（toMariane） So！Imustlearnwhat’swhatfromher，yousee！ DORINE Youmightdoworsethanfollowmyadvice。 ORGON Daughter，wecan’twastetimeuponthnonsense; Iknowwhat’sgoodforyou，andI’myourfather。 True，IhadpromedyoutoyoungValere; But，first，theytellmehe’sinclinedtogamble，Andthen，Ifearhfaithnotquitesound。 Ihaven’tnoticedthathe’sregularAtchurch。 DORINE You’dhavehimruntherejustwhenyoudo。 Likethosewhogoonpurposetobeseen？ ORGON Idon’taskyouropiniononthematter。 Inshort，theotherinHeaven’sbestgraces，Andthatrichesquitebeyondcompare。 Thmatchwillbringyoueveryjoyyoulongfor; ’Twillbeallsteepedinsweetnessanddelight。 You’lllivetogether，inyourfaithfulloves，Liketwosweetchildren，liketwoturtle—doves; You’llneverfailtoquarrel，scold，ortease，Andyoumaydowithhimwhate’eryouplease。 DORINE Withhim？Donaughtbutgivehimhorns，I’llwarrant。 ORGON Outonthee，wench！ DORINE Itellyouhe’scutoutfor’t; Howevergreatyourdaughter’svirtue，sir，Hdestinysuretoprovethestronger。 ORGON Havedonewithinterrupting。Holdyourtongue。 Don’tpokeyournoseinotherpeople’sbusiness。 DORINE（Shekeepsinterruptinghim，justasheturnsandstartstospeaktohdaughter）。 IfImakebold，sir，’tforyourowngood。 ORGON You’retooofficious;prayyou，holdyourtongue。 DORINE ’Tloveofyou ORGON Iwantnoneofyourlove。 DORINE ThenIwillloveyouinyourowndespite。 ORGON Youwill，eh？ DORINE Yes，yourhonour’sdeartome; Ican’tenduretoseeyoumadethebuttOfallmen’sridicule。 ORGON Won’tyoubestill？ DORINE ’Twouldbeasintoletyoumakethmatch。 ORGON Won’tyoubestill，Isay，youimpudentviper！ DORINE What！youarepious，andyouloseyourtemper？ ORGON I’mallwroughtup，withyourconfoundednonsense; Now，onceforall，Itellyouholdyourtongue。 DORINE Thenmum’stheword;I’lltakeitoutinthinking。 ORGON Thinkallyouplease;butnotasyllableTomeaboutit，oryouunderstand！ （Turningtohdaughter。） Asawefather，I’veconsideredallWithduedeliberation。 DORINE I’llgomadIfIcan’tspeak。 （Shestopstheinstantheturnshhead。） ORGON Thoughhe’snolady’sman，Tartuffewellenough DORINE Aprettyphiz！ ORGON Sothat，althoughyoumaynotcareatallForhbestqualities DORINE Ahandsomedowry！ （Orgonturnsandstandsinfrontofher，witharmsfolded，eyeingher。） WereIinherplace，anymanshouldrueitWhomarriedmebyforce，that’smightycertain; I’dlethimknow，andthatwithinaweek，Awoman’svengeancen’tfartoseek。 ORGON（toDorine） So——nothingthatIsayhasanyweight？ DORINE Eh？What’swrongnow？Ididn’tspeaktoyou。 ORGON Whatwereyoudoing？ DORINE Talkingtomyself。 ORGON Oh！Verywell。（Aside。）HermonstrousimpudenceMustbechastedwithonegoodslapintheface。 （Hestandsreadytostrikeher，and，eachtimehespeakstohdaughter，heglancestowardher;butshestandsstillandsaysnotaword。）[3] [Footnote3:AsgivenattheComediefrancae，theactionasfollows:WhileOrgonsays，\"Youmustapproveofmydesign，\"DorinemakingsignstoMarianetoresthorders;Orgonturnsaroundsuddenly;butDorinequicklychangeshergestureandwiththehandwhichshehadliftedcalmlyarrangesherhairandhercap。Orgongoeson，\"Thinkofthehusband\"andstopsbeforethemiddleofhsentencetoturnandcatchthebeginningofDorine’sgesture;buthetooquickthtime，andDorinestandslookingathfuriouscountenancewithasweetandgentleexpression。Heturnsandgoeson，andtheobstinateDorineagainliftsherhandbehindhshouldertourgeMarianetorestance:thtimehecatchesher;butjustasheswingshshouldertogiveherthepromedblow，shestopshimbychangingtheintentofhergesture，andcarefullypickingfromthetopofhsleeveabitoffluffwhichsheholdscarefullybetweenherfingers，thenblowsintotheair，andwatchesintentlyasitfloatsaway。Orgonparalysedbyherinnocenceofexpression，andcompelledtohidehrage。——Regnier，/LeTartuffedesComediens/。] ORGON Daughter，youmustapproveofmydesign。 ThinkofthhusbandIhavechosenforyou…… （ToDorine） Whydon’tyoutalktoyourself？ DORINE Nothingtosay。 ORGON Onelittlewordmore。 DORINE Oh，no，thanks。Notnow。 ORGON Sure，I’dhavecaughtyou。 DORINE Faith，I’mnosuchfool。 ORGON So，daughter，nowobediencetheword; Youmustacceptmychoicewithreverence。 DORINE（runningaway） You’dnevercatchmemarryingsuchacreature。 ORGON（swinginghhandatherandmsingher） Daughter，you’vesuchapestilenthussythereIcan’tlivewithherlonger，withoutsin。 Ican’tdcussthingsinthestateI’min。 Mymind’ssoflusteredbyherinsolenttalk，Tocalmmyself，Imustgotakeawalk。 SCENEIII MARIANE，DORINE DORINE Say，haveyoulostthetonguefromoutyourhead？ AndmustIspeakyourrolefromAtoZed？ Youletthembroachaprojectthat’sabsurd，Anddon’topposeitwithasingleword！ MARIANE WhatcanIdo？Myfatherthemaster。 DORINE Do？Everything，towardoffsuchdaster。 MARIANE Butwhat？ DORINE Tellhimonedoesn’tlovebyproxy; Tellhimyou’llmarryforyourself，nothim; Sinceyou’retheoneforwhomthethingdone，Youaretheone，nothe，themanmustplease; IfhTartuffehascharmedhimso，whylethimJustmarryhimhimself——noonewillhinder。 MARIANE Afather’srightsaresuch，itseemstome，ThatIcouldneverdaretosayaword。 DORINE Came，talkitout。Valerehasaskedyourhand: Nowdoyoulovehim，pray，ordoyounot？ MARIANE Dorine！Howcanyouwrongmylovesomuch，Andaskmesuchaquestion？HaveInotAhundredtimeslaidbaremyhearttoyou？ DoyouknowhowardentlyIlovehim？ DORINE HowdoIknowifheartandwordsagree，Andifinhonesttruthyoureallylovehim？ MARIANE Dorine，youwrongmegreatlyifyoudoubtit; I’veshownmyinmostfeelings，alltooplainly。 DORINE Sothen，youlovehim？ MARIANE Yes，devotedly。 DORINE Andhereturnsyourlove，apparently？ MARIANE Ithinkso。 DORINE AndyoubothalikeareeagerTobewellmarriedtoeachother？ MARIANE Surely。 DORINE Thenwhat’syourplanaboutthothermatch？ MARIANE Tokillmyself，ifitforceduponme。 DORINE Good！That’saremedyIhadn’tthoughtof。 Justdie，andeverythingwillbeallright。 Thmedicinemarvellous，indeed！ Itdrivesmemadtohearfolktalksuchnonsense。 MARIANE Ohdear，Dorineyougetinsuchatemper！ Youhavenosympathyforpeople’stroubles。 DORINE Ihavenosympathywhenfolktalknonsense，Andflattenoutasyoudo，atapinch。 MARIANE Butwhatcanyouexpect？——ifonetimid？—— DORINE Butwhatloveworth，ifithasnocourage？ MARIANE AmInotconstantinmyloveforhim？ ’tnothplacetowinmefrommyfather？ DORINE Butifyourfatheracrazyfool，AndquitebewitchedwithhTartuffe？AndbreaksHboundenword？thatyourlover’sfault？ MARIANE ButshallIpubliclyrefuseandscornThmatch，andmakeitplainthatI’minlove？ ShallIcastoffforhim，whate’erhebe，Womanlymodestyandfilialduty？ Youaskmetodplaymyloveinpublic？ DORINE No，no，Iaskyounothing。YoushallbeMterTartuffe’s;why，nowIthinkofit，Ishouldbewrongtoturnyoufromthmarriage。 WhatcausecanIhavetoopposeyourwhes？ Sofineamatch！Anexcellentgoodmatch！ MterTartuffe！Ohho！Nomeanproposal！ MterTartuffe，sure，takeitallinall，notamantosneezeat——oh，bynomeans！ ’Tnosmalllucktobehhappyspouse。 Thewholeworldjoinstosinghpraealready; He’snoble——inhparh;handsometoo; Redearsandhighcomplexion——oh，mylud！ You’llbetoohappy，sure，withhimforhusband。 MARIANE Ohdear！ DORINE WhatjoyandpridewillfillyourheartTobethebrideofsuchahandsomefellow！ MARIANE Oh，stop，Ibegyou;trytofindsomewayTohelpbreakoffthematch。Iquitegivein，I’mreadytodoanythingyousay。