第27章

类别:其他 作者:D。 H。 Lawrence字数:12569更新时间:18/12/18 08:44:44
`Yousee,Idon\'tknow,Idon\'tunderstand!\' `Howmuch!\'Hisvoicerangwithapainfulelation。`Idon\'tknoweither——buteverything。\'Hewasstartledbyhisowndeclaration。Itwastrue。 Sohestrippedhimselfofeverysafeguard,inmakingthisadmissiontoher。Hecaredeverythingforher——shewaseverything。 `ButIcan\'tbelieveit,\'saidherlowvoice,amazed,trembling。Shewastremblingwithdoubtandexultance。Thiswasthethingshewantedtohear,onlythis。Yetnowsheheardit,heardthestrangeclappingvibrationoftruthinhisvoiceashesaidit,shecouldnotbelieve。Shecouldnotbelieve——shedidnotbelieve。Yetshebelieved,triumphantly,withfatalexultance。 `Whynot?\'hesaid。`Whydon\'tyoubelieveit?It\'strue。Itistrue,aswestandatthismoment——\'hestoodstillwithherinthewind;`I carefornothingonearth,orinheaven,outsidethisspotwhereweare。 Anditisn\'tmyownpresenceIcareabout,itisallyours。I\'dsellmysoulahundredtimes——butIcouldn\'tbearnottohaveyouhere。Icouldn\'tbeartobealone。Mybrainwouldburst。Itistrue。\'Hedrewherclosertohim,withdefinitemovement。 `No,\'shemurmured,afraid。Yetthiswaswhatshewanted。Whydidshesolosecourage? Theyresumedtheirstrangewalk。Theyweresuchstrangers——andyettheyweresofrightfully,unthinkablynear。Itwaslikeamadness。Yetitwaswhatshewanted,itwaswhatshewanted。Theyhaddescendedthehill,andnowtheywerecomingtothesquarearchwheretheroadpassedunderthecollieryrailway。Thearch,Gudrunknew,hadwallsofsquaredstone,mossyononesidewithwaterthattrickleddown,dryontheotherside。Shehadstoodunderittohearthetrainrumblethunderingoverthelogsoverhead。Andsheknewthatunderthisdarkandlonelybridgetheyoungcolliersstoodinthedarknesswiththeirsweethearts,inrainyweather。 Andsoshewantedtostandunderthebridgewithhersweetheart,andbekissedunderthebridgeintheinvisibledarkness。Herstepsdraggedasshedrewnear。 So,underthebridge,theycametoastandstill,andheliftedheruponhisbreast。Hisbodyvibratedtautandpowerfulashecloseduponherandcrushedher,breathlessanddazedanddestroyed,crushedheruponhisbreast。 Ah,itwasterrible,andperfect。Underthisbridge,thecollierspressedtheirloverstotheirbreast。Andnow,underthebridge,themasterofthemallpressedhertohimself?Andhowmuchmorepowerfulandterriblewashisembracethantheirs,howmuchmoreconcentratedandsupremehislovewas,thantheirsinthesamesort!Shefeltshewouldswoon,die,underthevibrating,inhumantensionofhisarmsandhisbody——shewouldpassaway。Thentheunthinkablehighvibrationslackenedandbecamemoreundulating。Heslackenedanddrewherwithhimtostandwithhisbacktothewall。 Shewasalmostunconscious。Sothecolliers\'loverswouldstandwiththeirbackstothewalls,holdingtheirsweetheartsandkissingthemasshewasbeingkissed。Ah,butwouldtheirkissesbefineandpowerfulasthekissesofthefirm—mouthedmaster?Eventhekeen,short—cutmoustache——thecollierswouldnothavethat。 Andthecolliers\'sweetheartswould,likeherself,hangtheirheadsbacklimpovertheirshoulder,andlookoutfromthedarkarchway,attheclosepatchofyellowlightsontheunseenhillinthedistance,oratthevagueformoftrees,andatthebuildingsofthecollierywood—yard,intheotherdirection。 Hisarmswerefastaroundher,heseemedtobegatheringherintohimself,herwarmth,hersoftness,heradorableweight,drinkinginthesuffusionofherphysicalbeing,avidly。Heliftedher,andseemedtopourherintohimself,likewineintoacup。 `Thisiswortheverything,\'hesaid,inastrange,penetratingvoice。 Sosherelaxed,andseemedtomelt,toflowintohim,asifsheweresomeinfinitelywarmandprecioussuffusionfillingintohisveins,likeanintoxicant。Herarmswereroundhisneck,hekissedherandheldherperfectlysuspended,shewasallslackandflowingintohim,andhewasthefirm,strongcupthatreceivesthewineofherlife。Soshelaycastuponhim,stranded,liftedupagainsthim,meltingandmeltingunderhiskisses,meltingintohislimbsandbones,asifheweresoftironbecomingsurchargedwithherelectriclife。 Tillsheseemedtoswoon,graduallyhermindwent,andshepassedaway,everythinginherwasmelteddownandfluid,andshelaystill,becomecontainedbyhim,sleepinginhimaslightningsleepsinapure,softstone。 Soshewaspassedawayandgoneinhim,andhewasperfected。 Whensheopenedhereyesagain,andsawthepatchoflightsinthedistance,itseemedtoherstrangethattheworldstillexisted,thatshewasstandingunderthebridgerestingherheadonGerald\'sbreast。Gerald——whowashe?Hewastheexquisiteadventure,thedesirableunknowntoher。 Shelookedup,andinthedarknesssawhisfaceaboveher,hisshapely,maleface。Thereseemedafaint,whitelightemittedfromhim,awhiteaura,asifhewerevisitorfromtheunseen。Shereachedup,likeEvereachingtotheapplesonthetreeofknowledge,andshekissedhim,thoughherpassionwasatranscendentfearofthethinghewas,touchinghisfacewithherinfinitelydelicate,encroachingwonderingfingers。Herfingerswentoverthemouldofhisface,overhisfeatures。Howperfectandforeignhewas——ahhowdangerous!Hersoulthrilledwithcompleteknowledge。 Thiswastheglistening,forbiddenapple,thisfaceofaman。Shekissedhim,puttingherfingersoverhisface,hiseyes,hisnostrils,overhisbrowsandhisears,tohisneck,toknowhim,togatherhiminbytouch。 Hewassofirm,andshapely,withsuchsatisfying,inconceivableshapeliness,strange,yetunutterablyclear。Hewassuchanunutterableenemy,yetglisteningwithuncannywhitefire。Shewantedtotouchhimandtouchhimandtouchhim,tillshehadhimallinherhands,tillshehadstrainedhimintoherknowledge。Ah,ifshecouldhavethepreciousknowledgeofhim,shewouldbefilled,andnothingcoulddepriveherofthis。Forhewassounsure,soriskyinthecommonworldofday。 `Youaresobeautiful,\'shemurmuredinherthroat。 Hewondered,andwassuspended。Butshefelthimquiver,andshecamedowninvoluntarilyneareruponhim。Hecouldnothelphimself。Herfingershadhimundertheirpower。Thefathomless,fathomlessdesiretheycouldevokeinhimwasdeeperthandeath,wherehehadnochoice。 Butsheknewnow,anditwasenough。Forthetime,hersoulwasdestroyedwiththeexquisiteshockofhisinvisiblefluidlightning。Sheknew。Andthisknowledgewasadeathfromwhichshemustrecover。Howmuchmoreofhimwastheretoknow?Ahmuch,much,manydaysharvestingforherlarge,yetperfectlysubtleandintelligenthandsuponthefieldofhisliving,radio—activebody。Ah,herhandswereeager,greedyforknowledge。Butforthepresentitwasenough,enough,asmuchashersoulcouldbear。 Toomuch,andshewouldshatterherself,shewouldfillthefinevialofhersoultooquickly,anditwouldbreak。Enoughnow——enoughforthetimebeing。Therewerealltheafterdayswhenherhands,likebirds,couldfeeduponthefieldsofhimmysticalplasticform——tillthenenough。 Andevenhewasgladtobechecked,rebuked,heldback。Fortodesireisbetterthantopossess,thefinalityoftheendwasdreadedasdeeplyasitwasdesired。 Theywalkedontowardsthetown,towardswherethelampsthreadedsingly,atlongintervalsdownthedarkhigh—roadofthevalley。Theycameatlengthtothegateofthedrive。 `Don\'tcomeanyfurther,\'shesaid。 `You\'dratherIdidn\'t?\'heasked,relieved。Hedidnotwanttogoupthepublicstreetswithher,hissoulallnakedandalightasitwas。 `Muchrather——good—night。\'Sheheldoutherhand。Hegraspedit,thentouchedtheperilous,potentfingerswithhislips。 `Good—night,\'hesaid。`Tomorrow。\' Andtheyparted。Hewenthomefullofthestrengthandthepoweroflivingdesire。 Butthenextday,shedidnotcome,shesentanotethatshewaskeptindoorsbyacold。Herewasatorment!Buthepossessedhissoulinsomesortofpatience,writingabriefanswer,tellingherhowsorryhewasnottoseeher。 Thedayafterthis,hestayedathome——itseemedsofutiletogodowntotheoffice。Hisfathercouldnotlivetheweekout。Andhewantedtobeathome,suspended。 Geraldsatonachairbythewindowinhisfather\'sroom。Thelandscapeoutsidewasblackandwinter—sodden。Hisfatherlaygreyandashenonthebed,anursemovedsilentlyinherwhitedress,neatandelegant,evenbeautiful。Therewasascentofeau—de—cologneintheroom。Thenursewentoutoftheroom,Geraldwasalonewithdeath,facingthewinter—blacklandscape。 `IstheremuchmorewaterinDenley?\'camethefaintvoice,determinedandquerulous,fromthebed。ThedyingmanwasaskingaboutaleakagefromWilleyWaterintooneofthepits。 `Somemore——weshallhavetorunoffthelake,\'saidGerald。 `Willyou?\'Thefaintvoicefilteredtoextinction。Therewasdeadstillness。 Thegrey—faced,sickmanlaywitheyesclosed,moredeadthandeath。Geraldlookedaway。Hefelthisheartwasseared,itwouldperishifthiswentonmuchlonger。 Suddenlyheheardastrangenoise。Turninground,hesawhisfather\'seyeswideopen,strainedandrollinginafrenzyofinhumanstruggling。 Geraldstartedtohisfeet,andstoodtransfixedinhorror。 `Wha—a—ah—h—h—\'cameahorriblechokingrattlefromhisfather\'sthroat,thefearful,frenziedeye,rollingawfullyinitswildfruitlesssearchforhelp,passedblindlyoverGerald,thenupcamethedarkbloodandmesspumpingoverthefaceoftheagonisedbeing。Thetensebodyrelaxed,theheadfellaside,downthepillow。 Geraldstoodtransfixed,hissoulechoinginhorror。Hewouldmove,buthecouldnot。Hecouldnotmovehislimbs。Hisbrainseemedtore—echo,likeapulse。 Thenurseinwhitesoftlyentered。SheglancedatGerald,thenatthebed。 `Ah!\'camehersoftwhimperingcry,andshehurriedforwardtothedeadman。`Ah—h!\'cametheslightsoundofheragitateddistress,asshestoodbendingoverthebedside。Thensherecovered,turned,andcamefortowelandsponge。Shewaswipingthedeadfacecarefully,andmurmuring,almostwhimpering,verysoftly:`PoorMrCrich!——PoorMrCrich!PoorMrCrich!\' `Ishedead?\'clangedGerald\'ssharpvoice。 `Ohyes,he\'sgone,\'repliedthesoft,moaningvoiceofthenurse,asshelookedupatGerald\'sface。Shewasyoungandbeautifulandquivering。 AstrangesortofgrinwentoverGerald\'sface,overthehorror。Andhewalkedoutoftheroom。 Hewasgoingtotellhismother。OnthelandinghemethisbrotherBasil。 `He\'sgone,Basil,\'hesaid,scarcelyabletosubduehisvoice,nottoletanunconscious,frighteningexultationsoundthrough。 `What?\'criedBasil,goingpale。 Geraldnodded。Thenhewentontohismother\'sroom。 Shewassittinginherpurplegown,sewing,veryslowlysewing,puttinginastitchthenanotherstitch。ShelookedupatGeraldwithherblueundauntedeyes。 `Father\'sgone,\'hesaid。 `He\'sdead?Whosaysso?\' `Oh,youknow,mother,ifyouseehim。\' Sheputhersewingdown,andslowlyrose。 `Areyougoingtoseehim?\'heasked。 `Yes,\'shesaidBythebedsidethechildrenalreadystoodinaweepinggroup。 `Oh,mother!\'criedthedaughters,almostinhysterics,weepingloudly。 Butthemotherwentforward。Thedeadmanlayinrepose,asifgentlyasleep,sogently,sopeacefully,likeayoungmansleepinginpurity。 Hewasstillwarm。Shestoodlookingathimingloomy,heavysilence,forsometime。 `Ay,\'shesaidbitterly,atlength,speakingasiftotheunseenwitnessesoftheair。`You\'redead。\'Shestoodforsomeminutesinsilence,lookingdown。`Beautiful,\'sheasserted,`beautifulasiflifehadnevertouchedyou——nevertouchedyou。GodsendIlookdifferent。IhopeIshalllookmyyears,whenIamdead。Beautiful,beautiful,\'shecroonedoverhim。 `Youcanseehiminhisteens,withhisfirstbeardonhisface。Abeautifulsoul,beautiful——\'Thentherewasatearinginhervoiceasshecried: `Noneofyoulooklikethis,whenyouaredead!Don\'tletithappenagain。\' Itwasastrange,wildcommandfromoutoftheunknown。Herchildrenmovedunconsciouslytogether,inanearergroup,atthedreadfulcommandinhervoice。Thecolourwasflushedbrightinhercheek,shelookedawfulandwonderful。`Blameme,blamemeifyoulike,thatheliestherelikealadinhisteens,withhisfirstbeardonhisface。Blamemeifyoulike。Butyounoneofyouknow。\'Shewassilentinintensesilence。 Thentherecame,inalow,tensevoice:`IfIthoughtthatthechildrenIborewouldlielookinglikethatindeath,I\'dstranglethemwhentheywereinfants,yes——\' `No,mother,\'camethestrange,clarionvoiceofGeraldfromthebackground,`wearedifferent,wedon\'tblameyou。\' Sheturnedandlookedfullinhiseyes。Thensheliftedherhandsinastrangehalf—gestureofmaddespair。 `Pray!\'shesaidstrongly。`PrayforyourselvestoGod,forthere\'snohelpforyoufromyourparents。\' `Ohmother!\'criedherdaughterswildly。 Butshehadturnedandgone,andtheyallwentquicklyawayfromeachother。 WhenGudrunheardthatMrCrichwasdead,shefeltrebuked。ShehadstayedawaylestGeraldshouldthinkhertooeasyofwinning。Andnow,hewasinthemidstoftrouble,whilstshewascold。 ThefollowingdayshewentupasusualtoWinifred,whowasgladtoseeher,gladtogetawayintothestudio。Thegirlhadwept,andthen,toofrightened,hadturnedasidetoavoidanymoretragiceventuality。 SheandGudrunresumedworkasusual,intheisolationofthestudio,andthisseemedanimmeasurablehappiness,apureworldoffreedom,aftertheaimlessnessandmiseryofthehouse。Gudrunstayedontillevening。SheandWinifredhaddinnerbroughtuptothestudio,wheretheyateinfreedom,awayfromallthepeopleinthehouse。 AfterdinnerGeraldcameup。Thegreathighstudiowasfullofshadowandafragranceofcoffee。GudrunandWinifredhadalittletablenearthefireatthefarend,withawhitelampwhoselightdidnottravelfar。 Theywereatinyworldtothemselves,thetwogirlssurroundedbylovelyshadows,thebeamsandraftersshadowyover—head,thebenchesandimplementsshadowydownthestudio。 `Youarecosyenoughhere,\'saidGerald,goinguptothem。 Therewasalowbrickfireplace,fulloffire,anoldblueTurkishrug,thelittleoaktablewiththelampandthewhite—and—blueclothandthedessert,andGudrunmakingcoffeeinanoddbrasscoffee—maker,andWinifredscaldingalittlemilkinatinysaucepan。 `Haveyouhadcoffee?\'saidGudrun。 `Ihave,butI\'llhavesomemorewithyou,\'hereplied。 `Thenyoumusthaveitinaglass——thereareonlytwocups,\'saidWinifred。 `Itisthesametome,\'hesaid,takingachairandcomingintothecharmedcircleofthegirls。Howhappytheywere,howcosyandglamorousitwaswiththem,inaworldofloftyshadows!Theoutsideworld,inwhichhehadbeentransactingfuneralbusinessallthedaywascompletelywipedout。Inaninstanthesnuffedglamourandmagic。 Theyhadalltheirthingsverydainty,twooddandlovelylittlecups,scarletandsolidgilt,andalittleblackjugwithscarletdiscs,andthecuriouscoffee—machine,whosespirit—flameflowedsteadily,almostinvisibly。Therewastheeffectofrathersinisterrichness,inwhichGeraldatonceescapedhimself。 Theyallsatdown,andGudruncarefullypouredoutthecoffee。 `Willyouhavemilk?\'sheaskedcalmly,yetnervouslypoisingthelittleblackjugwithitsbigreddots。Shewasalwayssocompletelycontrolled,yetsobitterlynervous。 `No,Iwon\'t,\'hereplied。 So,withacurioushumility,sheplacedhimthelittlecupofcoffee,andherselftooktheawkwardtumbler。Sheseemedtowanttoservehim。 `Whydon\'tyougivemetheglass——itissoclumsyforyou,\'hesaid。 Hewouldmuchratherhavehadit,andseenherdaintilyserved。Butshewassilent,pleasedwiththedisparity,withherself—abasement。 `Youarequiteenmenage,\'hesaid。 `Yes。Wearen\'treallyathometovisitors,\'saidWinifred。 `You\'renot?ThenI\'manintruder?\' Foroncehefelthisconventionaldresswasoutofplace,hewasanoutsider。 Gudrunwasveryquiet。Shedidnotfeeldrawntotalktohim。Atthisstage,silencewasbest——ormerelightwords。Itwasbesttoleaveseriousthingsaside。Sotheytalkedgailyandlightly,tilltheyheardthemanbelowleadoutthehorse,andcallitto`back—back!\'intothedog—cartthatwastotakeGudrunhome。Sosheputonherthings,andshookhandswithGerald,withoutoncemeetinghiseyes。Andshewasgone。 Thefuneralwasdetestable。Afterwards,atthetea—table,thedaughterskeptsaying——`Hewasagoodfathertous——thebestfatherintheworld\' ——orelse——`Weshan\'teasilyfindanothermanasgoodasfatherwas。\' Geraldacquiescedinallthis。Itwastherightconventionalattitude,and,asfarastheworldwent,hebelievedintheconventions。Hetookitasamatterofcourse。ButWinifredhatedeverything,andhidinthestudio,andcriedherheartout,andwishedGudrunwouldcome。 Luckilyeverybodywasgoingaway。TheCrichesneverstayedlongathome。 Bydinner—time,Geraldwasleftquitealone。EvenWinifredwascarriedofftoLondon,forafewdayswithhersisterLaura。 ButwhenGeraldwasreallyleftalone,hecouldnotbearit。Onedaypassedby,andanother。Andallthetimehewaslikeamanhunginchainsovertheedgeofanabyss。Struggleashemight,hecouldnotturnhimselftothesolidearth,hecouldnotgetfooting。Hewassuspendedontheedgeofavoid,writhing。Whateverhethoughtof,wastheabyss——whetheritwerefriendsorstrangers,orworkorplay,itallshowedhimonlythesamebottomlessvoid,inwhichhisheartswungperishing。Therewasnoescape,therewasnothingtograspholdof。Hemustwritheontheedgeofthechasm,suspendedinchainsofinvisiblephysicallife。 Atfirsthewasquiet,hekeptstill,expectingtheextremitytopassaway,expectingtofindhimselfreleasedintotheworldoftheliving,afterthisextremityofpenance。Butitdidnotpass,andacrisisgaineduponhim。 Astheeveningofthethirddaycameon,hisheartrangwithfear。Hecouldnotbearanothernight。Anothernightwascomingon,foranothernighthewastobesuspendedinchainofphysicallife,overthebottomlesspitofnothingness。Andhecouldnotbearit。Hecouldnotbearit。Hewasfrighteneddeeply,andcoldly,frightenedinhissoul。Hedidnotbelieveinhisownstrengthanymore。Hecouldnotfallintothisinfinitevoid,andriseagain。Ifhefell,hewouldbegoneforever。Hemustwithdraw,hemustseekreinforcements。Hedidnotbelieveinhisownsingleself,anyfurtherthanthis。 Afterdinner,facedwiththeultimateexperienceofhisownnothingness,heturnedaside。Hepulledonhisboots,putonhiscoat,andsetouttowalkinthenight。 Itwasdarkandmisty。Hewentthroughthewood,stumblingandfeelinghiswaytotheMill。Birkinwasaway。Good——hewashalfglad。Heturnedupthehill,andstumbledblindlyoverthewildslopes,havinglostthepathinthecompletedarkness。Itwasboring。Wherewashegoing?Nomatter。 Hestumbledontillhecametoapathagain。Thenhewentonthroughanotherwood。Hismindbecamedark,hewentonautomatically。Withoutthoughtorsensation,hestumbledunevenlyon,outintotheopenagain,fumblingforstiles,losingthepath,andgoingalongthehedgesofthefieldstillhecametotheoutlet。 Andatlasthecametothehighroad。Ithaddistractedhimtostruggleblindlythroughthemazeofdarkness。Butnow,hemusttakeadirection。 Andhedidnotevenknowwherehewas。Buthemusttakeadirectionnow。 Nothingwouldberesolvedbymerelywalking,walkingaway。Hehadtotakeadirection。 Hestoodstillontheroad,thatwashighintheutterlydarknight,andhedidnotknowwherehewas。Itwasastrangesensation,hisheartbeating,andringedroundwiththeutterlyunknowndarkness。Sohestoodforsometime。 Thenheheardfootsteps,andsawasmall,swinginglight。Heimmediatelywenttowardsthis。Itwasaminer。 `Canyoutellme,\'hesaid,`wherethisroadgoes?\' `Road?Ay,itgoesterWhatmore。\' `Whatmore!Ohthankyou,that\'sright。IthoughtIwaswrong。Good—night。\' `Good—night,\'repliedthebroadvoiceoftheminer。 Geraldguessedwherehewas。Atleast,whenhecametoWhatmore,hewouldknow。Hewasgladtobeonahighroad。Hewalkedforwardasinasleepofdecision。 ThatwasWhatmoreVillage——?Yes,theKing\'sHead——andtherethehallgates。Hedescendedthesteephillalmostrunning。Windingthroughthehollow,hepassedtheGrammarSchool,andcametoWilleyGreenChurch。 Thechurchyard!Hehalted。 Theninanothermomenthehadclamberedupthewallandwasgoingamongthegraves。Eveninthisdarknesshecouldseetheheapedpallorofoldwhiteflowersathisfeet。Thisthenwasthegrave。Hestoopeddown。Theflowerswerecoldandclammy。Therewasarawscentofchrysanthemumsandtube—roses,deadened。Hefelttheclaybeneath,andshrank,itwassohorriblycoldandsticky。Hestoodawayinrevulsion。 Herewasonecentrethen,hereinthecompletedarknessbesidetheunseen,rawgrave。Buttherewasnothingforhimhere。No,hehadnothingtostayherefor。Hefeltasifsomeoftheclaywerestickingcoldandunclean,onhisheart。No,enoughofthis。 Wherethen?——home?Never!Itwasnousegoingthere。Thatwaslessthannouse。Itcouldnotbedone。Therewassomewhereelsetogo。Where? Adangerousresolveformedinhisheart,likeafixedidea。TherewasGudrun——shewouldbesafeinherhome。Buthecouldgetather——hewouldgetather。Hewouldnotgobacktonighttillhehadcometoher,ifitcosthimhislife。Hestakedhisallonthisthrow。 HesetoffwalkingstraightacrossthefieldstowardsBeldover。Itwassodark,nobodycouldeverseehim。Hisfeetwerewetandcold,heavywithclay。Buthewentonpersistently,likeawind,straightforward,asiftohisfate。Thereweregreatgapsinhisconsciousness。HewasconsciousthathewasatWinthorpehamlet,butquiteunconscioushowhehadgotthere。 Andthen,asinadream,hewasinthelongstreetofBeldover,withitsstreet—lamps。 Therewasanoiseofvoices,andofadoorshuttingloudly,andbeingbarred,andofmentalkinginthenight。The`LordNelson\'hadjustclosed,andthedrinkersweregoinghome。Hehadbetteraskoneofthesewhereshelived——forhedidnotknowthesidestreetsatall。 `CanyoutellmewhereSomersetDriveis?\'heaskedofoneoftheunevenmen。 `Wherewhat?\'repliedthetipsyminer\'svoice。 `SomersetDrive。\' `SomersetDrive!——I\'veheardo\'suchaplace,butIcouldn\'tformylifesaywhereitis。Whomightyoubewanting?\' `MrBrangwen——WilliamBrangwen。\' `WilliamBrangwen——?——?\' `WhoteachesattheGrammarSchool,atWilleyGreen——hisdaughterteachestheretoo。\' `O—o—o—oh,Brangwen!NowI\'vegotyou。Ofcourse,WilliamBrangwen!Yes,yes,he\'sgottwolassesasteachers,asidehisself。Ay,that\'shim——that\'shim!WhycertainlyIknowwherehelives,backyourlifeIdo!Yi——whatplacedotheyca\'it?\' `SomersetDrive,\'repeatedGeraldpatiently。Heknewhisowncolliersfairlywell。 `SomersetDrive,forcertain!\'saidthecollier,swinginghisarmasifcatchingsomethingup。`SomersetDrive——yi!Icouldn\'tformylifelayholdo\'thelercalityo\'theplace。Yis,Iknowtheplace,tobesureIdo——\' Heturnedunsteadilyonhisfeet,andpointedupthedark,nighdesertedroad。 `Yougouptheer——an\'youta\'eth\'first——yi,th\'firstturnin\' onyourleft——o\'thatside——pastWithamsestuffyshop——\' `Iknow,\'saidGerald。 `Ay!Yougodownabit,pastwheerth\'water—manlives——andthenSomersetDrive,astheyca\'it,branchesoffon\'trighthandside——an\'there\'snowtbutthreehousesinit,nomorethanthree,Ibelieve,——an\'I\'ma\'mostcertainastheirsisth\'last——th\'lasto\'th\'three——yousee——\' `Thankyouverymuch,\'saidGerald。`Good—night。\' Andhestartedoff,leavingthetipsymantherestandingrooted。 Geraldwentpastthedarkshopsandhouses,mostofthemsleepingnow,andtwistedroundtothelittleblindroadthatendedonafieldofdarkness。 Hesloweddown,ashenearedhisgoal,notknowinghowheshouldproceed。 Whatifthehousewereclosedindarkness? Butitwasnot。Hesawabiglightedwindow,andheardvoices,thenagatebanged。HisquickearscaughtthesoundofBirkin\'svoice,hiskeeneyesmadeoutBirkin,withUrsulastandinginapaledressonthestepofthegardenpath。ThenUrsulasteppeddown,andcamealongtheroad,holdingBirkin\'sarm。 Geraldwentacrossintothedarknessandtheydawdledpasthim,talkinghappily,Birkin\'svoicelow,Ursula\'shighanddistinct。Geraldwentquicklytothehouse。 Theblindsweredrawnbeforethebig,lightedwindowofthediningroom。 Lookingupthepathatthesidehecouldseethedoorleftopen,sheddingasoft,colouredlightfromthehalllamp。Hewentquicklyandsilentlyupthepath,andlookedupintothehall。Therewerepicturesonthewalls,andtheantlersofastag——andthestairsgoingupononeside——andjustnearthefootofthestairsthehalfopeneddoorofthedining—room。 Withheartdrawnfine,Geraldsteppedintothehall,whosefloorwasofcolouredtiles,wentquicklyandlookedintothelarge,pleasantroom。 Inachairbythefire,thefathersatasleep,hisheadtiltedbackagainstthesideofthebigoakchimneypiece,hisruddyfaceseenforeshortened,thenostrilsopen,themouthfallenalittle。Itwouldtakethemerestsoundtowakehim。 Geraldstoodasecondsuspended。Heglanceddownthepassagebehindhim。Itwasalldark。Againhewassuspended。Thenhewentswiftlyupstairs。 Hissensesweresofinely,almostsupernaturallykeen,thatheseemedtocasthisownwilloverthehalf—unconscioushouse。 Hecametothefirstlanding。Therehestood,scarcelybreathing。Again,correspondingtothedoorbelow,therewasadooragain。Thatwouldbethemother\'sroom。Hecouldhearhermovingaboutinthecandlelight。Shewouldbeexpectingherhusbandtocomeup。Helookedalongthedarklanding。 Then,silently,oninfinitelycarefulfeet,hewentalongthepassage,feelingthewallwiththeextremetipsofhisfingers。Therewasadoor。 Hestoodandlistened。Hecouldheartwopeople\'sbreathing。Itwasnotthat。Hewentstealthilyforward。Therewasanotherdoor,slightlyopen。 Theroomwasindarkness。Empty。Thentherewasthebathroom,hecouldsmellthesoapandtheheat。Thenattheendanotherbedroom——onesoftbreathing。Thiswasshe。 Withanalmostoccultcarefulnessheturnedthedoorhandle,andopenedthedooraninch。Itcreakedslightly。Thenheopeneditanotherinch—— thenanother。Hisheartdidnotbeat,heseemedtocreateasilenceabouthimself,anobliviousness。 Hewasintheroom。Stillthesleeperbreathedsoftly。Itwasverydark。 Hefelthiswayforwardinchbyinch,withhisfeetandhands。Hetouchedthebed,hecouldhearthesleeper。Hedrewnearer,bendingcloseasifhiseyeswoulddisclosewhatevertherewas。Andthen,veryneartohisface,tohisfear,hesawtheround,darkheadofaboy。 Herecovered,turnedround,sawthedoorajar,afaintlightrevealed。 Andheretreatedswiftly,drewthedoortowithoutfasteningit,andpassedrapidlydownthepassage。Attheheadofthestairshehesitated。Therewasstilltimetoflee。 Butitwasunthinkable。Hewouldmaintainhiswill。Heturnedpastthedooroftheparentalbedroomlikeashadow,andwasclimbingthesecondflightofstairs。Theycreakedunderhisweight——itwasexasperating。 Ahwhatdisaster,ifthemother\'sdooropenedjustbeneathhim,andshesawhim!Itwouldhavetobe,ifitwereso。Heheldthecontrolstill。 Hewasnotquiteupthesestairswhenheheardaquickrunningoffeetbelow,theouterdoorwasclosedandlocked,heheardUrsula\'svoice,thenthefather\'ssleepyexclamation。Hepressedonswiftlytotheupperlanding。 Againadoorwasajar,aroomwasempty。Feelinghiswayforward,withthetipsofhisfingers,travellingrapidly,likeablindman,anxiouslestUrsulashouldcomeupstairs,hefoundanotherdoor。There,withhispreternaturallyfinesensealert,helistened。Heheardsomeonemovinginbed。Thiswouldbeshe。 Softlynow,likeonewhohasonlyonesense,thetactilesense,heturnedthelatch。Itclicked。Heheldstill。Thebed—clothesrustled。Hisheartdidnotbeat。Thenagainhedrewthelatchback,andverygentlypushedthedoor。Itmadeastickingnoiseasitgave。 `Ursula?\'saidGudrun\'svoice,frightened。Hequicklyopenedthedoorandpusheditbehindhim。 `Isityou,Ursula?\'cameGudrun\'sfrightenedvoice。Heheardhersittingupinbed。Inanothermomentshewouldscream。 `No,it\'sme,\'hesaid,feelinghiswaytowardsher。`ItisI,Gerald。\' Shesatmotionlessinherbedinsheerastonishment。Shewastooastonished,toomuchtakenbysurprise,eventobeafraid。 `Gerald!\'sheechoed,inblankamazement。Hehadfoundhiswaytothebed,andhisoutstretchedhandtouchedherwarmbreastblindly。Sheshrankaway。 `Letmemakealight,\'shesaid,springingout。 Hestoodperfectlymotionless。Heheardhertouchthematch—box,heheardherfingersintheirmovement。Thenhesawherinthelightofamatch,whichsheheldtothecandle。Thelightroseintheroom,thensanktoasmalldimness,astheflamesankdownonthecandle,beforeitmountedagain。