第22章

类别:其他 作者:D。 H。 Lawrence字数:10081更新时间:18/12/18 08:44:44
Geraldstoodleaningbackagainstthemantel—piece。HelookeddownatBirkin,andhiseyesflashedwithasortofterrorliketheeyesofastallion,thatarebloodshotandoverwrought,turnedglancingbackwardsinastiffterror。 `IfellthatifIdon\'twatchmyself,Ishallfindmyselfdoingsomethingsilly,\'hesaid。 `Whynotdoit?\'saidBirkincoldly。 Geraldlistenedwithquickimpatience。HekeptglancingdownatBirkin,asiflookingforsomethingfromtheotherman。 `IusedtodosomeJapanesewrestling,\'saidBirkin。`AJaplivedinthesamehousewithmeinHeidelberg,andhetaughtmealittle。ButI wasnevermuchgoodatit。\' `Youdid!\'exclaimedGerald。`That\'soneofthethingsI\'venevereverseendone。Youmeanjiu—jitsu,Isuppose?\' `Yes。ButIamnogoodatthosethings——theydon\'tinterestme。\' `Theydon\'t?Theydome。What\'sthestart?\' `I\'llshowyouwhatIcan,ifyoulike,\'saidBirkin。 `Youwill?\'Aqueer,smilinglooktightenedGerald\'sfaceforamoment,ashesaid,`Well,I\'dlikeitverymuch。\' `Thenwe\'lltryjiu—jitsu。Onlyyoucan\'tdomuchinastarchedshirt。\' `Thenletusstrip,anddoitproperly。Holdaminute——\'Herangthebell,andwaitedforthebutler。 `Bringacoupleofsandwichesandasyphon,\'hesaidtotheman,`andthendon\'ttroublemeanymoretonight——orletanybodyelse。\' Themanwent。GeraldturnedtoBirkinwithhiseyeslighted。 `AndyouusedtowrestlewithaJap?\'hesaid。`Didyoustrip?\' `Sometimes。\' `Youdid!Whatwashelikethen,asawrestler?\' `Good,Ibelieve。Iamnojudge。Hewasveryquickandslipperyandfullofelectricfire。Itisaremarkablething,whatacurioussortoffluidforcetheyseemtohaveinthem,thosepeoplenotlikeahumangrip——likeapolyp——\' Geraldnodded。 `Ishouldimagineso,\'hesaid,`tolookatthem。Theyrepelme,rather。\' `Repelandattract,both。Theyareveryrepulsivewhentheyarecold,andtheylookgrey。Butwhentheyarehotandroused,thereisadefiniteattraction——acuriouskindoffullelectricfluid——likeeels。\' `Well——yes——probably。\' Themanbroughtinthetrayandsetitdown。 `Don\'tcomeinanymore,\'saidGerald。 Thedoorclosed。 `Wellthen,\'saidGerald;`shallwestripandbegin?Willyouhaveadrinkfirst?\' `No,Idon\'twantone。\' `NeitherdoI。\' Geraldfastenedthedoorandpushedthefurnitureaside。Theroomwaslarge,therewasplentyofspace,itwasthicklycarpeted。Thenhequicklythrewoffhisclothes,andwaitedforBirkin。Thelatter,whiteandthin,cameovertohim。Birkinwasmoreapresencethanavisibleobject,Geraldwasawareofhimcompletely,butnotreallyvisually。WhereasGeraldhimselfwasconcreteandnoticeable,apieceofpurefinalsubstance。 `Now,\'saidBirkin,`IwillshowyouwhatIlearned,andwhatIremember。 Youletmetakeyouso——\'Andhishandsclosedonthenakedbodyoftheotherman。Inanothermoment,hehadGeraldswungoverlightlyandbalancedagainsthisknee,headdownwards。Relaxed,Geraldsprangtohisfeetwitheyesglittering。 `That\'ssmart,\'hesaid。`Nowtryagain。\' Sothetwomenbegantostruggletogether。Theywereverydissimilar。 Birkinwastallandnarrow,hisboneswereverythinandfine。Geraldwasmuchheavierandmoreplastic。Hisboneswerestrongandround,hislimbswererounded,allhiscontourswerebeautifullyandfullymoulded。Heseemedtostandwithaproper,richweightonthefaceoftheearth,whilstBirkinseemedtohavethecentreofgravitationinhisownmiddle。AndGeraldhadarich,frictionalkindofstrength,rathermechanical,butsuddenandinvincible,whereasBirkinwasabstractastobealmostintangible。 Heimpingedinvisiblyupontheotherman,scarcelyseemingtotouchhim,likeagarment,andthensuddenlypiercinginatensefinegripthatseemedtopenetrateintotheveryquickofGerald\'sbeing。 Theystopped,theydiscussedmethods,theypractisedgripsandthrows,theybecameaccustomedtoeachother,toeachother\'srhythm,theygotakindofmutualphysicalunderstanding。Andthenagaintheyhadarealstruggle。Theyseemedtodrivetheirwhitefleshdeeperanddeeperagainsteachother,asiftheywouldbreakintoaoneness。Birkinhadagreatsubtleenergy,thatwouldpressupontheothermanwithanuncannyforce,weighhimlikeaspellputuponhim。Thenitwouldpass,andGeraldwouldheavefree,withwhite,heaving,dazzlingmovements。 Sothetwomenentwinedandwrestledwitheachother,workingnearerandnearer。Bothwerewhiteandclear,butGeraldflushedsmartredwherehewastouched,andBirkinremainedwhiteandtense。HeseemedtopenetrateintoGerald\'smoresolid,morediffusebulk,tointerfusehisbodythroughthebodyoftheother,asiftobringitsubtlyintosubjection,alwaysseizingwithsomerapidnecromanticfore—knowledgeeverymotionoftheotherflesh,convertingandcounteractingit,playinguponthelimbsandtrunkofGeraldlikesomehardwind。ItwasasifBirkin\'swholephysicalintelligenceinterpenetratedintoGerald\'sbody,asifhisfine,sublimatedenergyenteredintothefleshofthefullerman,likesomepotency,castingafinenet,aprison,throughthemusclesintotheverydepthsofGerald\'sphysicalbeing。 Sotheywrestledswiftly,rapturously,intentandmindlessatlast,twoessentialwhitefiguresworkingintoatightercloseronenessofstruggle,withastrange,octopus—likeknottingandflashingoflimbsinthesubduedlightoftheroom;atensewhiteknotoffleshgrippedinsilencebetweenthewallsofoldbrownbooks。Nowandagaincameasharpgaspofbreath,orasoundlikeasigh,thentherapidthuddingofmovementonthethickly—carpetedfloor,thenthestrangesoundoffleshescapingunderflesh。Often,inthewhiteinterlacedknotofviolentlivingbeingthatswayedsilently,therewasnoheadtobeseen,onlytheswift,tightlimbs,thesolidwhitebacks,thephysicaljunctionoftwobodiesclinchedintooneness。Thenwouldappearthegleaming,ruffledheadofGerald,asthestrugglechanged,thenforamomentthedun—coloured,shadow—likeheadoftheothermanwouldliftupfromtheconflict,theeyeswideanddreadfulandsightless。 AtlengthGeraldlaybackinertonthecarpet,hisbreastrisingingreatslowpanting,whilstBirkinkneeledoverhim,almostunconscious。 Birkinwasmuchmoreexhausted。Hecaughtlittle,shortbreaths,hecouldscarcelybreatheanymore。Theearthseemedtotiltandsway,andacompletedarknesswascomingoverhismind。Hedidnotknowwhathappened。Heslidforwardquiteunconscious,overGerald,andGeralddidnotnotice。Thenhewashalf—consciousagain,awareonlyofthestrangetiltingandslidingoftheworld。Theworldwassliding,everythingwasslidingoffintothedarkness。Andhewassliding,endlessly,endlesslyaway。 Hecametoconsciousnessagain,hearinganimmenseknockingoutside。 Whatcouldbehappening,whatwasit,thegreathammer—strokeresoundingthroughthehouse?Hedidnotknow。Andthenitcametohimthatitwashisownheartbeating。Butthatseemedimpossible,thenoisewasoutside。 No,itwasinsidehimself,itwashisownheart。Andthebeatingwaspainful,sostrained,surcharged。HewonderedifGeraldheardit。Hedidnotknowwhetherhewerestandingorlyingorfalling。 WhenherealisedthathehadfallenprostrateuponGerald\'sbodyhewondered,hewassurprised。Buthesatup,steadyinghimselfwithhishandandwaitingforhishearttobecomestillerandlesspainful。Ithurtverymuch,andtookawayhisconsciousness。 GeraldhoweverwasstilllessconsciousthanBirkin。Theywaiteddimly,inasortofnot—being,formanyuncounted,unknownminutes。 `Ofcourse——\'pantedGerald,`Ididn\'thavetoberough——withyou——Ihadtokeepback——myforce——\' Birkinheardthesoundasifhisownspiritstoodbehindhim,outsidehim,andlistenedtoit。Hisbodywasinatranceofexhaustion,hisspiritheardthinly。Hisbodycouldnotanswer。Onlyheknewhisheartwasgettingquieter。Hewasdividedentirelybetweenhisspirit,whichstoodoutside,andknew,andhisbody,thatwasaplunging,unconsciousstrokeofblood。 `Icouldhavethrownyou——usingviolence——\'pantedGerald。`Butyoubeatmerightenough。\' `Yes,\'saidBirkin,hardeninghisthroatandproducingthewordsinthetensionthere,`you\'remuchstrongerthanI——youcouldbeatme—— easily。\' Thenherelaxedagaintotheterribleplungingofhisheartandhisblood。 `Itsurprisedme,\'pantedGerald,`whatstrengthyou\'vegot。Almostsupernatural。\' `Foramoment,\'saidBirkin。 Hestillheardasifitwerehisowndisembodiedspirithearing,standingatsomedistancebehindhim。Itdrewnearerhowever,hisspirit。Andtheviolentstrikingofbloodinhischestwassinkingquieter,allowinghismindtocomeback。Herealisedthathewasleaningwithallhisweightonthesoftbodyoftheotherman。Itstartledhim,becausehethoughthehadwithdrawn。Herecoveredhimself,andsatup。Buthewasstillvagueandunestablished。Heputouthishandtosteadyhimself。IttouchedthehandofGerald,thatwaslyingoutonthefloor。AndGerald\'shandclosedwarmandsuddenoverBirkin\'s,theyremainedexhaustedandbreathless,theonehandclaspedcloselyovertheother。ItwasBirkinwhosehand,inswiftresponse,hadclosedinastrong,warmclaspoverthehandoftheother。Gerald\'sclasphadbeensuddenandmomentaneous。 Thenormalconsciousnesshoweverwasreturning,ebbingback。Birkincouldbreathealmostnaturallyagain。Gerald\'shandslowlywithdrew,Birkinslowly,dazedlyrosetohisfeetandwenttowardsthetable。Hepouredoutawhiskeyandsoda。Geraldalsocameforadrink。 `Itwasarealset—to,wasn\'tit?\'saidBirkin,lookingatGeraldwithdarkenedeyes。 `God,yes,\'saidGerald。Helookedatthedelicatebodyoftheotherman,andadded:`Itwasn\'ttoomuchforyou,wasit?\' `No。Oneoughttowrestleandstriveandbephysicallyclose。Itmakesonesane。\' `Youdothinkso?\' `Ido。Don\'tyou?\' `Yes,\'saidGerald。 Therewerelongspacesofsilencebetweentheirwords。Thewrestlinghadsomedeepmeaningtothem——anunfinishedmeaning。 `Wearementally,spirituallyintimate,thereforeweshouldbemoreorlessphysicallyintimatetoo——itismorewhole。\' `Certainlyitis,\'saidGerald。Thenhelaughedpleasantly,adding: `It\'sratherwonderfultome。\'Hestretchedouthisarmshandsomely。 `Yes,\'saidBirkin。`Idon\'tknowwhyoneshouldhavetojustifyoneself。\' `No。\' Thetwomenbegantodress。 `Ithinkalsothatyouarebeautiful,\'saidBirkintoGerald,`andthatisenjoyabletoo。Oneshouldenjoywhatisgiven。\' `YouthinkIambeautiful——howdoyoumean,physically?\'askedGerald,hiseyesglistening。 `Yes。Youhaveanorthernkindofbeauty,likelightrefractedfromsnow——andabeautiful,plasticform。Yes,thatistheretoenjoyaswell。 Weshouldenjoyeverything。\' Geraldlaughedinhisthroat,andsaid: `That\'scertainlyonewayoflookingatit。Icansaythismuch,Ifeelbetter。Ithascertainlyhelpedme。IsthistheBruderschaftyouwanted?\' `Perhaps。Doyouthinkthispledgesanything?\' `Idon\'tknow,\'laughedGerald。 `Atanyrate,onefeelsfreerandmoreopennow——andthatiswhatwewant。\' `Certainly,\'saidGerald。 Theydrewtothefire,withthedecantersandtheglassesandthefood。 `IalwayseatalittlebeforeIgotobed,\'saidGerald。`Isleepbetter。\' `Ishouldnotsleepsowell,\'saidBirkin。 `No?Thereyouare,wearenotalike。I\'llputadressing—gownon。\' Birkinremainedalone,lookingatthefire。HismindhadrevertedtoUrsula。 Sheseemedtoreturnagainintohisconsciousness。Geraldcamedownwearingagownofbroad—barred,thickblack—and—greensilk,brilliantandstriking。 `Youareveryfine,\'saidBirkin,lookingatthefullrobe。 `ItwasacaftaninBokhara,\'saidGerald。`Ilikeit。\' `Ilikeittoo。\' Birkinwassilent,thinkinghowscrupulousGeraldwasinhisattire,howexpensivetoo。Heworesilksocks,andstudsoffineworkmanship,andsilkunderclothing,andsilkbraces。Curious!Thiswasanotherofthedifferencesbetweenthem。Birkinwascarelessandunimaginativeabouthisownappearance。 `Ofcourseyou,\'saidGerald,asifhehadbeenthinking;`there\'ssomethingcuriousaboutyou。You\'recuriouslystrong。Onedoesn\'texpectit,itisrathersurprising。\' Birkinlaughed。Hewaslookingatthehandsomefigureoftheotherman,blondandcomelyintherichrobe,andhewashalfthinkingofthedifferencebetweenitandhimself——sodifferent;asfar,perhaps,apartasmanfromwoman,yetinanotherdirection。ButreallyitwasUrsula,itwasthewomanwhowasgainingascendanceoverBirkin\'sbeing,atthismoment。Geraldwasbecomingdimagain,lapsingoutofhim。 `Doyouknow,\'hesaidsuddenly,`IwentandproposedtoUrsulaBrangwentonight,thatsheshouldmarryme。\' HesawtheblankshiningwondercomeoverGerald\'sface。 `Youdid?\' `Yes。Almostformally——speakingfirsttoherfather,asitshouldbe,intheworld——thoughthatwasaccident——ormischief。\' Geraldonlystaredinwonder,asifhedidnotgrasp。 `Youdon\'tmeantosaythatyouseriouslywentandaskedherfathertoletyoumarryher?\' `Yes,\'saidBirkin,`Idid。\' `What,hadyouspokentoherbeforeaboutit,then?\' `No,notaword。IsuddenlythoughtIwouldgothereandaskher—— andherfatherhappenedtocomeinsteadofher——soIaskedhimfirst。\' `Ifyoucouldhaveher?\'concludedGerald。 `Ye—es,that。\' `Andyoudidn\'tspeaktoher?\' `Yes。Shecameinafterwards。Soitwasputtoheraswell。\' `Itwas!Andwhatdidshesaythen?You\'reanengagedman?\' `No,——sheonlysaidshedidn\'twanttobebulliedintoanswering。\' `Shewhat?\' `Saidshedidn\'twanttobebulliedintoanswering。\' `\"Saidshedidn\'twanttobebulliedintoanswering!\"Why,whatdidshemeanbythat?\' Birkinraisedhisshoulders。`Can\'tsay,\'heanswered。`Didn\'twanttobebotheredjustthen,Isuppose。\' `Butisthisreallyso?Andwhatdidyoudothen?\' `Iwalkedoutofthehouseandcamehere。\' `Youcamestraighthere?\' `Yes。\' Geraldstaredinamazementandamusement。Hecouldnottakeitin。 `Butisthisreallytrue,asyousayitnow?\' `Wordforword。\' `Itis?\' Heleanedbackinhischair,filledwithdelightandamusement。 `Well,that\'sgood,\'hesaid。`Andsoyoucameheretowrestlewithyourgoodangel,didyou?\' `DidI?\'saidBirkin。 `Well,itlookslikeit。Isn\'tthatwhatyoudid?\' NowBirkincouldnotfollowGerald\'smeaning。 `Andwhat\'sgoingtohappen?\'saidGerald。`You\'regoingtokeepopentheproposition,sotospeak?\' `Isupposeso。IvowedtomyselfIwouldseethemalltothedevil。 ButIsupposeIshallaskheragain,inalittlewhile。\' Geraldwatchedhimsteadily。 `Soyou\'refondofherthen?\'heasked。 `Ithink——Iloveher,\'saidBirkin,hisfacegoingverystillandfixed。 Geraldglistenedforamomentwithpleasure,asifitweresomethingdonespeciallytopleasehim。Thenhisfaceassumedafittinggravity,andhenoddedhisheadslowly。 `Youknow,\'hesaid,`Ialwaysbelievedinlove——truelove。Butwheredoesonefinditnowadays?\' `Idon\'tknow,\'saidBirkin。 `Veryrarely,\'saidGerald。Then,afterapause,`I\'veneverfeltitmyself——notwhatIshouldcalllove。I\'vegoneafterwomen——andbeenkeenenoughoversomeofthem。ButI\'veneverfeltlove。Idon\'tbelieveI\'veeverfeltasmuchloveforawoman,asIhaveforyou——notlove。YouunderstandwhatImean?\' `Yes。I\'msureyou\'veneverlovedawoman。\' `Youfeelthat,doyou?AnddoyouthinkIevershall?YouunderstandwhatImean?\'Heputhishandtohisbreast,closinghisfistthere,asifhewoulddrawsomethingout。`Imeanthat——thatIcan\'texpresswhatitis,butIknowit。\' `Whatisit,then?\'askedBirkin。 `Yousee,Ican\'tputitintowords。Imean,atanyrate,somethingabiding,somethingthatcan\'tchange——\' Hiseyeswerebrightandpuzzled。 `NowdoyouthinkIshalleverfeelthatforawoman?\'hesaid,anxiously。 Birkinlookedathim,andshookhishead。 `Idon\'tknow,\'hesaid。`Icouldnotsay。\' Geraldhadbeenonthequivive,asawaitinghisfate。Nowhedrewbackinhischair。 `No,\'hesaid,`andneitherdoI,andneitherdoI。\' `Wearedifferent,youandI,\'saidBirkin。`Ican\'ttellyourlife。\' `No,\'saidGerald,`nomorecanI。ButItellyou——Ibegintodoubtit!\' `Thatyouwilleverloveawoman?\' `Well——yes——whatyouwouldtrulycalllove——\' `Youdoubtit?\' `Well——Ibeginto。\' Therewasalongpause。 `Lifehasallkindsofthings,\'saidBirkin。`Thereisn\'tonlyoneroad。\' `Yes,Ibelievethattoo。Ibelieveit。Andmindyou,Idon\'tcarehowitiswithme——Idon\'tcarehowitis——solongasIdon\'tfeel——\' hepaused,andablank,barrenlookpassedoverhisface,toexpresshisfeeling——`solongasIfeelI\'velived,somehow——andIdon\'tcarehowitis——butIwanttofeelthat——\' `Fulfilled,\'saidBirkin。 `We—ell,perhapsitisfulfilled;Idon\'tusethesamewordsasyou。\' `Itisthesame。\' WomenInLove:Chapter21CHAPTERXXIThresholdGUDRUNWASAWAYinLondon,havingalittleshowofherwork,withafriend,andlookinground,preparingforflightfromBeldover。Comewhatmightshewouldbeonthewinginaveryshorttime。 ShereceivedaletterfromWinifredCrich,ornamentedwithdrawings。 `FatheralsohasbeentoLondon,tobeexaminedbythedoctors。Itmadehimverytired。Theysayhemustrestaverygreatdeal,soheismostlyinbed。Hebroughtmealovelytropicalparrotinfaience,ofDresdenware,alsoamanploughing,andtwomiceclimbingupastalk,alsoinfaience。 ThemicewereCopenhagenware。Theyarethebest,butmicedon\'tshinesomuch,otherwisetheyareverygood,theirtailsareslimandlong。Theyallshinenearlylikeglass。Ofcourseitistheglaze,butIdon\'tlikeit。Geraldlikesthemanploughingthebest,histrousersaretorn,heisploughingwithanox,beingIsupposeaGermanpeasant。Itisallgreyandwhite,whiteshirtandgreytrousers,butveryshinyandclean。MrBirkinlikesthegirlbest,underthehawthornblossom,withalamb,andwithdaffodilspaintedonherskirts,inthedrawingroom。Butthatissilly,becausethelambisnotareallamb,andsheissillytoo。 `DearMissBrangwen,areyoucomingbacksoon,youareverymuchmissedhere。Iencloseadrawingoffathersittingupinbed。Hesayshehopesyouarenotgoingtoforsakeus。OhdearMissBrangwen,Iamsureyouwon\'t。 Docomebackanddrawtheferrets,theyarethemostlovelynobledarlingsintheworld。Wemightcarvetheminholly—wood,playingagainstabackgroundofgreenleaves。Ohdoletus,fortheyaremostbeautiful。 `Fathersayswemighthaveastudio。Geraldsayswecouldeasilyhaveabeautifuloneoverthestables,itwouldonlyneedwindowstobeputintheslantoftheroof,whichisasimplematter。Thenyoucouldstayherealldayandwork,andwecouldliveinthestudio,liketworealartists,likethemaninthepictureinthehall,withthefrying—panandthewallsallcoveredwithdrawings。Ilongtobefree,tolivethefreelifeofanartist。EvenGeraldtoldfatherthatonlyanartistisfree,becausehelivesinacreativeworldofhisown——\' Gudruncaughtthedriftofthefamilyintentions,inthisletter。GeraldwantedhertobeattachedtothehouseholdatShortlands,hewasusingWinifredashisstalking—horse。Thefatherthoughtonlyofhischild,hesawarockofsalvationinGudrun。AndGudrunadmiredhimforhisperspicacity。 Thechild,moreover,wasreallyexceptional。Gudrunwasquitecontent。 Shewasquitewilling,givenastudio,tospendherdaysatShortlands。 ShedislikedtheGrammarSchoolalreadythoroughly,shewantedtobefree。 Ifastudiowereprovided,shewouldbefreetogoonwithherwork,shewouldawaittheturnofeventswithcompleteserenity。AndshewasreallyinterestedinWinifred,shewouldbequitegladtounderstandthegirl。 SotherewasquitealittlefestivityonWinifred\'saccount,thedayGudrunreturnedtoShortlands。 `YoushouldmakeabunchofflowerstogivetoMissBrangwenwhenshearrives,\'Geraldsaidsmilingtohissister。 `Ohno,\'criedWinifred,`it\'ssilly。\' `Notatall。Itisaverycharmingandordinaryattention。\' `Oh,itissilly,\'protestedWinifred,withalltheextrememauvaisehonteofheryears。Nevertheless,theideaappealedtoher。Shewantedverymuchtocarryitout。Sheflittedroundthegreen—housesandtheconservatorylookingwistfullyattheflowersontheirstems。Andthemoreshelooked,themoreshelongedtohaveabunchoftheblossomsshesaw,themorefascinatedshebecamewithherlittlevisionofceremony,andthemoreconsumedlyshyandself—consciousshegrew,tillshewasalmostbesideherself。Shecouldnotgettheideaoutofhermind。Itwasasifsomehauntingchallengepromptedher,andshehadnotenoughcouragetotakeitup。Soagainshedriftedintothegreen—houses,lookingatthelovelyrosesintheirpots,andatthevirginalcyclamens,andatthemysticwhiteclustersofacreeper。Thebeauty,ohthebeautyofthem,andohtheparadisalbliss,ifsheshouldhaveaperfectbouquetandcouldgiveittoGudrunthenextday。Herpassionandhercompleteindecisionalmostmadeherill。 Atlastsheslidtoherfather\'sside。 `Daddie——\'shesaid。 `What,myprecious?\' Butshehungback,thetearsalmostcomingtohereyes,inhersensitiveconfusion。Herfatherlookedather,andhisheartranhotwithtenderness,ananguishofpoignantlove。 `Whatdoyouwanttosaytome,mylove?\' `Daddie——!\'hereyessmiledlaconically——`isn\'titsillyifIgiveMissBrangwensomeflowerswhenshecomes?\' Thesickmanlookedatthebright,knowingeyesofhischild,andhisheartburnedwithlove。 `No,darling,that\'snotsilly。It\'swhattheydotoqueens。\' ThiswasnotveryreassuringtoWinifred。Shehalfsuspectedthatqueensinthemselveswereasilliness。Yetshesowantedherlittleromanticoccasion。 `ShallIthen?\'sheasked。 `GiveMissBrangwensomeflowers?Do,Birdie。TellWilsonIsayyouaretohavewhatyouwant。\' Thechildsmiledasmall,subtle,unconscioussmiletoherself,inanticipationofherway。 `ButIwon\'tgetthemtilltomorrow,\'shesaid。 `Nottilltomorrow,Birdie。Givemeakissthen——\' Winifredsilentlykissedthesickman,anddriftedoutoftheroom。 Sheagainwenttheroundofthegreen—housesandtheconservatory,informingthegardener,inherhigh,peremptory,simplefashion,ofwhatshewanted,tellinghimallthebloomsshehadselected。 `Whatdoyouwantthesefor?\'Wilsonasked。 `Iwantthem,\'shesaid。Shewishedservantsdidnotaskquestions。 `Ay,you\'vesaidasmuch。Butwhatdoyouwantthemfor,fordecoration,ortosendaway,orwhat?\' `Iwantthemforapresentationbouquet。\' `Apresentationbouquet!Who\'scomingthen?——theDuchessofPortland?\' `No。\' `Oh,nother?Wellyou\'llhaveararepoppy—showifyouputallthethingsyou\'vementionedintoyourbouquet。\' `Yes,Iwantararepoppy—show。\' `Youdo!Thenthere\'snomoretobesaid。\' ThenextdayWinifred,inadressofsilveryvelvet,andholdingagaudybunchofflowersinherhand,waitedwithkeenimpatienceintheschoolroom,lookingdownthedriveforGudrun\'sarrival。Itwasawetmorning。Underhernosewasthestrangefragranceofhot—houseflowers,thebunchwaslikealittlefiretoher,sheseemedtohaveastrangenewfireinherheart。Thisslightsenseofromancestirredherlikeanintoxicant。 AtlastshesawGudruncoming,andsherandownstairstowarnherfatherandGerald。They,laughingatheranxietyandgravity,camewithherintothehall。Theman—servantcamehasteningtothedoor,andtherehewas,relievingGudrunofherumbrella,andthenofherraincoat。Thewelcomingpartyhungbacktilltheirvisitorenteredthehall。 Gudrunwasflushedwiththerain,herhairwasblowninlooselittlecurls,shewaslikeaflowerjustopenedintherain,theheartoftheblossomjustnewlyvisible,seemingtoemitawarmthofretainedsunshine。