`It\'sDiana，isit，\'mutteredGerald。`Theyoungmonkey，she\'dhavetobeuptosomeofhertricks。\'
Andheglancedagainatthepaddle，theboatwasnotgoingquicklyenoughforhim。ItmadeGudrunalmosthelplessattherowing，thisnervousstress。
Shekeptupwithallhermight。Stillthevoiceswerecallingandanswering。
`Where，where？Thereyouare——that\'sit。Which？No——No—o—o。Damnitall，here，here——\'Boatswerehurryingfromalldirectionstothescene，colouredlanternscouldbeseenwavingclosetothesurfaceofthelake，reflectionsswayingaftertheminunevenhaste。Thesteamerhootedagain，forsomeunknownreason。Gudrun\'sboatwastravellingquickly，thelanternswereswingingbehindGerald。
Andthenagaincamethechild\'shigh，screamingvoice，withanoteofweepingandimpatienceinitnow:
`Di——OhDi——OhDi——Di——！\'
Itwasaterriblesound，comingthroughtheobscureairoftheevening。
`You\'dbebetterifyouwereinbed，Winnie，\'Geraldmutteredtohimself。
Hewasstoopingunlacinghisshoes，pushingthemoffwiththefoot。
Thenhethrewhissofthatintothebottomoftheboat。
`Youcan\'tgointothewaterwithyourhurthand，\'saidGudrun，panting，inalowvoiceofhorror。
`What？Itwon\'thurt。\'
Hehadstruggledoutofhisjacket，andhaddroppeditbetweenhisfeet。
Hesatbare—headed，allinwhitenow。Hefeltthebeltathiswaist。Theywerenearingthelaunch，whichstoodstillbigabovethem，hermyriadlampsmakinglovelydarts，andsinuousrunningtonguesofuglyredandgreenandyellowlightonthelustrousdarkwater，undertheshadow。
`Ohgetherout！OhDi，darling！Ohgetherout！OhDaddy，OhDaddy！\'moanedthechild\'svoice，indistraction。Somebodywasinthewater，withalifebelt。Twoboatspaddlednear，theirlanternsswingingineffectually，theboatsnosinground。
`Hithere——Rockley！——hithere！\'
`MrGerald！\'camethecaptain\'sterrifiedvoice。`MissDiana\'sinthewater。\'
`Anybodygoneinforher？\'cameGerald\'ssharpvoice。
`YoungDoctorBrindell，sir。\'
`Where？\'
`Can\'tseenosignsofthem，sir。Everybody\'slooking，butthere\'snothingsofar。\'
Therewasamoment\'sominouspause。
`Wheredidshegoin？\'
`Ithink——aboutwherethatboatis，\'cametheuncertainanswer，`thatonewithredandgreenlights。\'
`Rowthere，\'saidGeraldquietlytoGudrun。
`Getherout，Gerald，ohgetherout，\'thechild\'svoicewascryinganxiously。Hetooknoheed。
`Leanbackthatway，\'saidGeraldtoGudrun，ashestoodupinthefrailboat。`Shewon\'tupset。\'
Inanothermoment，hehaddroppedcleandown，softandplumb，intothewater。Gudrunwasswayingviolentlyinherboat，theagitatedwatershookwithtransientlights，sherealisedthatitwasfaintlymoonlight，andthathewasgone。Soitwaspossibletobegone。Aterriblesenseoffatalityrobbedherofallfeelingandthought。Sheknewhewasgoneoutoftheworld，therewasmerelythesameworld，andabsence，hisabsence。Thenightseemedlargeandvacuous。Lanternsswayedhereandthere，peopleweretalkinginanundertoneonthelaunchandintheboats。ShecouldhearWinifredmoaning:`OhdofindherGerald，dofindher，\'andsomeonetryingtocomfortthechild。Gudrunpaddledaimlesslyhereandthere。Theterrible，massive，cold，boundlesssurfaceofthewaterterrifiedherbeyondwords。
Wouldhenevercomeback？Shefeltshemustjumpintothewatertoo，toknowthehorroralso。
Shestarted，hearingsomeonesay:`Thereheis。\'Shesawthemovementofhisswimming，likeawater—rat。Andsherowedinvoluntarilytohim。
Buthewasnearanotherboat，abiggerone。Stillsherowedtowardshim。
Shemustbeverynear。Shesawhim——helookedlikeaseal。Helookedlikeasealashetookholdofthesideoftheboat。Hisfairhairwaswasheddownonhisroundhead，hisfaceseemedtoglistensuavely。Shecouldhearhimpanting。
Thenheclamberedintotheboat。Oh，andthebeautyofthesubjectionofhisloins，whiteanddimlyluminousasbeclimbedoverthesideoftheboat，madeherwanttodie，todie。Thebeautyofhisdimandluminousloinsasbeclimbedintotheboat，hisbackroundedandsoft——ah，thiswastoomuchforher，toofinalavision。Sheknewit，anditwasfatalTheterriblehopelessnessoffate，andofbeauty，suchbeauty！
Hewasnotlikeamantoher，hewasanincarnation，agreatphaseoflife。Shesawhimpressthewateroutofhisface，andlookatthebandageonhishand。Andsheknewitwasallnogood，andthatshewouldnevergobeyondhim，hewasthefinalapproximationoflifetoher。
`Putthelightsout，weshallseebetter，\'camehisvoice，suddenandmechanicalandbelongingtotheworldofman。Shecouldscarcelybelievetherewasaworldofman。Sheleanedroundandblewoutherlanterns。Theyweredifficulttoblowout。Everywherethelightsweregonesavethecolouredpointsonthesidesofthelaunch。Theblueygrey，earlynightspreadlevelaround，themoonwasoverhead，therewereshadowsofboatshereandthere。
Againtherewasasplash，andhewasgoneunder。Gudrunsat，sickatheart，frightenedofthegreat，levelsurfaceofthewater，soheavyanddeadly。Shewassoalone，withthelevel，unlivingfieldofthewaterstretchingbeneathher。Itwasnotagoodisolation，itwasaterrible，coldseparationofsuspense。Shewassuspendeduponthesurfaceoftheinsidiousrealityuntilsuchtimeasshealsoshoulddisappearbeneathit。
Thensheknew，byastirringofvoices，thathehadclimbedoutagain，intoaboat。Shesatwantingconnectionwithhim。Strenuouslysheclaimedherconnectionwithhim，acrosstheinvisiblespaceofthewater。Butroundherheartwasanisolationunbearable，throughwhichnothingwouldpenetrate。
`Takethelaunchin。It\'snousekeepingherthere。Getlinesforthedragging，\'camethedecisive，instrumentalvoice，thatwasfullofthesoundoftheworld。
Thelaunchbegangraduallytobeatthewaters。
`Gerald！Gerald！\'camethewildcryingvoiceofWinifred。Hedidnotanswer。Slowlythelaunchdriftedroundinapathetic，clumsycircle，andslunkawaytotheland，retreatingintothedimness。Thewashofherpaddlesgrewduller。Gudrunrockedinherlightboat，anddippedthepaddleautomaticallytosteadyherself。
`Gudrun？\'calledUrsula\'svoice。
`Ursula！\'
Theboatsofthetwosisterspulledtogether。
`WhereisGerald？\'saidGudrun。
`He\'sdivedagain，\'saidUrsulaplaintively。`AndIknowheoughtnot，withhishurthandandeverything。\'
`I\'lltakehiminhomethistime，\'saidBirkin。
Theboatsswayedagainfromthewashofsteamer。GudrunandUrsulakeptalook—outforGerald。
`Thereheis！\'criedUrsula，whohadthesharpesteyes。Hehadnotbeenlongunder。Birkinpulledtowardshim，Gudrunfollowing。Heswamslowly，andcaughtholdoftheboatwithhiswoundedhand。Itslipped，andhesankback。
`Whydon\'tyouhelphim？\'criedUrsulasharply。
Hecameagain，andBirkinleanedtohelphimintotheboat。GudrunagainwatchedGeraldclimboutofthewater，butthistimeslowly，heavily，withtheblindclamberingmotionsofanamphibiousbeast，clumsy。Againthemoonshonewithfaintluminosityonhiswhitewetfigure，onthestoopingbackandtheroundedloins。Butitlookeddefeatednow，hisbody，itclamberedandfellwithslowclumsiness。Hewasbreathinghoarselytoo，likeananimalthatissuffering。Hesatslackandmotionlessintheboat，hisheadbluntandblindlikeaseal\'s，hiswholeappearanceinhuman，unknowing。Gudrunshudderedasshemechanicallyfollowedhisboat。Birkinrowedwithoutspeakingtothelanding—stage。
`Whereareyougoing？\'Geraldaskedsuddenly，asifjustwakingup。
`Home，\'saidBirkin。
`Ohno！\'saidGeraldimperiously。`Wecan\'tgohomewhilethey\'reinthewater。Turnbackagain，I\'mgoingtofindthem。\'Thewomenwerefrightened，hisvoicewassoimperativeanddangerous，almostmad，nottobeopposed。
`No！\'saidBirkin。`Youcan\'t。\'Therewasastrangefluidcompulsioninhisvoice。Geraldwassilentinabattleofwills。Itwasasifhewouldkilltheotherman。ButBirkinrowedevenlyandunswerving，withaninhumaninevitability。
`Whyshouldyouinterfere？\'saidGerald，inhate。
Birkindidnotanswer。Herowedtowardstheland。AndGeraldsatmute，likeadumbbeast，panting，histeethchattering，hisarmsinert，hisheadlikeaseal\'shead。
Theycametothelanding—stage。Wetandnaked—looking，Geraldclimbedupthefewsteps。Therestoodhisfather，inthenight。
`Father！\'hesaid。
`Yesmyboy？Gohomeandgetthosethingsoff。\'
`Weshan\'tsavethem，father，\'saidGerald。
`There\'shopeyet，myboy。\'
`I\'mafraidnot。There\'snoknowingwheretheyare。Youcan\'tfindthem。
Andthere\'sacurrent，ascoldashell。\'
`We\'llletthewaterout，\'saidthefather。`Gohomeyouandlooktoyourself。Seethathe\'slookedafter，Rupert，\'headdedinaneutralvoice。
`Wellfather，I\'msorry。I\'msorry。I\'mafraidit\'smyfault。Butitcan\'tbehelped;I\'vedonewhatIcouldforthemoment。Icouldgoondiving，ofcourse——notmuch，though——andnotmuchuse——\'
Hemovedawaybarefoot，ontheplanksoftheplatform。Thenhetrodonsomethingsharp。
`Ofcourse，you\'vegotnoshoeson，\'saidBirkin。
`Hisshoesarehere！\'criedGudrunfrombelow。Shewasmakingfastherboat。
Geraldwaitedforthemtobebroughttohim。Gudruncamewiththem。
Hepulledthemonhisfeet。
`Ifyouoncedie，\'hesaid，`thenwhenit\'sover，it\'sfinished。Whycometolifeagain？There\'sroomunderthatwaterthereforthousands。\'
`Twoisenough，\'shesaidmurmuring。
Hedraggedonhissecondshoe。Hewasshiveringviolently，andhisjawshookashespoke。
`That\'strue，\'hesaid，`maybe。Butit\'scurioushowmuchroomthereseems，awholeuniverseunderthere;andascoldashell，you\'reashelplessasifyourheadwascutoff。\'Hecouldscarcelyspeak，heshooksoviolently。
`There\'sonethingaboutourfamily，youknow，\'hecontinued。`Onceanythinggoeswrong，itcanneverbeputrightagain——notwithus。I\'venoticeditallmylife——youcan\'tputathingright，onceithasgonewrong。\'
Theywerewalkingacrossthehigh—roadtothehouse。
`Anddoyouknow，whenyouaredownthere，itissocold，actually，andsoendless，sodifferentreallyfromwhatitisontop，soendless——youwonderhowitissomanyarealive，whywe\'reuphere。Areyougoing？
Ishallseeyouagain，shan\'tI？Good—night，andthankyou。Thankyouverymuch！\'
Thetwogirlswaitedawhile，toseeiftherewereanyhope。Themoonshoneclearlyoverhead，withalmostimpertinentbrightness，thesmalldarkboatsclusteredonthewater，therewerevoicesandsubduedshouts。Butitwasalltonopurpose。GudrunwenthomewhenBirkinreturned。
Hewascommissionedtoopenthesluicethatletoutthewaterfromthelake，whichwaspiercedatoneend，nearthehigh—road，thusservingasareservoirtosupplywithwaterthedistantmines，incaseofnecessity。
`Comewithme，\'hesaidtoUrsula，`andthenIwillwalkhomewithyou，whenI\'vedonethis。\'
Hecalledatthewater—keeper\'scottageandtookthekeyofthesluice。
Theywentthroughalittlegatefromthehigh—road，totheheadofthewater，wherewasagreatstonebasinwhichreceivedtheoverflow，andaflightofstonestepsdescendedintothedepthsofthewateritself。Attheheadofthestepswasthelockofthesluice—gate。
Thenightwassilver—greyandperfect，saveforthescatteredrestlesssoundofvoices。Thegreysheenofthemoonlightcaughtthestretchofwater，darkboatsplashedandmoved。ButUrsula\'smindceasedtobereceptive，everythingwasunimportantandunreal。
Birkinfixedtheironhandleofthesluice，andturneditwithawrench。
Thecogsbeganslowlytorise。Heturnedandturned，likeaslave，hiswhitefigurebecamedistinct。Ursulalookedaway。Shecouldnotbeartoseehimwindingheavilyandlaboriously，bendingandrisingmechanicallylikeaslave，turningthehandle。
Then，arealshocktoher，therecamealoudsplashingofwaterfromoutofthedark，tree—filledhollowbeyondtheroad，asplashingthatdeepenedrapidlytoaharshroar，andthenbecameaheavy，boomingnoiseofagreatbodyofwaterfallingsolidlyallthetime。Itoccupiedthewholeofthenight，thisgreatsteadyboomingofwater，everythingwasdrownedwithinit，drownedandlost。Ursulaseemedtohavetostruggleforherlife。Sheputherhandsoverherears，andlookedatthehighblandmoon。
`Can\'twegonow？\'shecriedtoBirkin，whowaswatchingthewateronthesteps，toseeifitwouldgetanylower。Itseemedtofascinatehim。
Helookedatherandnodded。
Thelittledarkboatshadmovednearer，peoplewerecrowdingcuriouslyalongthehedgebythehigh—road，toseewhatwastobeseen。BirkinandUrsulawenttothecottagewiththekey，thenturnedtheirbacksonthelake。Shewasingreathaste。Shecouldnotbeartheterriblecrushingboomoftheescapingwater。
`Doyouthinktheyaredead？\'shecriedinahighvoice，tomakeherselfheard。
`Yes，\'hereplied。
`Isn\'tithorrible！\'
Hepaidnoheed。Theywalkedupthehill，furtherandfurtherawayfromthenoise。
`Doyoumindverymuch？\'sheaskedhim。
`Idon\'tmindaboutthedead，\'hesaid，`oncetheyaredead。Theworstofitis，theyclingontotheliving，andwon\'tletgo。\'
Sheponderedforatime。
`Yes，\'shesaid。`Thefactofdeathdoesn\'treallyseemtomattermuch，doesit？\'
`No，\'hesaid。`WhatdoesitmatterifDianaCrichisaliveordead？\'
`Doesn\'tit？\'shesaid，shocked。
`No，whyshouldit？Bettersheweredead——she\'llbemuchmorereal。
She\'llbepositiveindeath。Inlifeshewasafretting，negatedthing。\'
`Youareratherhorrible，\'murmuredUrsula。
`No！I\'dratherDianaCrichweredead。Herlivingsomehow，wasallwrong。
Asfortheyoungman，poordevil——he\'llfindhiswayoutquicklyinsteadofslowly。Deathisallright——nothingbetter。\'
`Yetyoudon\'twanttodie，\'shechallengedhim。
Hewassilentforatime。Thenhesaid，inavoicethatwasfrighteningtoherinitschange:
`Ishouldliketobethroughwithit——Ishouldliketobethroughwiththedeathprocess。\'
`Andaren\'tyou？\'askedUrsulanervously。
Theywalkedonforsomewayinsilence，underthetrees。Thenhesaid，slowly，asifafraid:
`Thereislifewhichbelongstodeath，andthereislifewhichisn\'tdeath。Oneistiredofthelifethatbelongstodeath——ourkindoflife。
Butwhetheritisfinished，Godknows。Iwantlovethatislikesleep，likebeingbornagain，vulnerableasababythatjustcomesintotheworld。\'
Ursulalistened，halfattentive，halfavoidingwhathesaid。Sheseemedtocatchthedriftofhisstatement，andthenshedrewaway。Shewantedtohear，butshedidnotwanttobeimplicated。Shewasreluctanttoyieldthere，wherehewantedher，toyieldasitwereherveryidentity。
`Whyshouldlovebelikesleep？\'sheaskedsadly。
`Idon\'tknow。Sothatitislikedeath——Idowanttodiefromthislife——andyetitismorethanlifeitself。Oneisdeliveredoverlikeanakedinfantfromthewomb，alltheolddefencesandtheoldbodygone，andnewairaroundone，thathasneverbeenbreathedbefore。\'
Shelistened，makingoutwhathesaid。Sheknew，aswellasheknew，thatwordsthemselvesdonotconveymeaning，thattheyarebutagesturewemake，adumbshowlikeanyother。Andsheseemedtofeelhisgesturethroughherblood，andshedrewback，eventhoughherdesiresentherforward。
`But，\'shesaidgravely，`didn\'tyousayyouwantedsomethingthatwasnotlove——somethingbeyondlove？\'
Heturnedinconfusion。Therewasalwaysconfusioninspeech。Yetitmustbespoken。Whicheverwayonemoved，ifoneweretomoveforwards，onemustbreakawaythrough。Andtoknow，togiveutterance，wastobreakawaythroughthewallsoftheprisonastheinfantinlabourstrivesthroughthewallsofthewomb。Thereisnonewmovementnow，withoutthebreakingthroughoftheoldbody，deliberately，inknowledge，inthestruggletogetout。
`Idon\'twantlove，\'hesaid。`Idon\'twanttoknowyou。Iwanttobegoneoutofmyself，andyoutobelosttoyourself，sowearefounddifferent。
Oneshouldn\'ttalkwhenoneistiredandwretched。OneHamletises，anditseemsalie。OnlybelievemewhenIshowyouabitofhealthyprideandinsouciance。Ihatemyselfserious。\'
`Whyshouldn\'tyoubeserious？\'shesaid。
Hethoughtforaminute，thenhesaid，sulkily:
`Idon\'tknow。\'Thentheywalkedoninsilence，atouts。Hewasvagueandlost。
`Isn\'titstrange，\'shesaid，suddenlyputtingherhandonhisarm，withalovingimpulse，`howwealwaystalklikethis！Isupposewedoloveeachother，insomeway。\'
`Ohyes，\'hesaid;`toomuch。\'
Shelaughedalmostgaily。
`You\'dhavetohaveityourownway，wouldn\'tyou？\'sheteased。`Youcouldnevertakeitontrust。\'
Hechanged，laughedsoftly，andturnedandtookherinhisarms，inthemiddleoftheroad。
`Yes，\'hesaidsoftly。
Andhekissedherfaceandbrow，slowly，gently，withasortofdelicatehappinesswhichsurprisedherextremely，andtowhichshecouldnotrespond。
Theyweresoft，blindkisses，perfectintheirstillness。Yetsheheldbackfromthem。Itwaslikestrangemoths，verysoftandsilent，settlingonherfromthedarknessofhersoul。Shewasuneasy。Shedrewaway。
`Isn\'tsomebodycoming？\'shesaid。
Sotheylookeddownthedarkroad，thensetoffagainwalkingtowardsBeldover。Thensuddenly，toshowhimshewasnoshallowprude，shestoppedandheldhimtight，hardagainsther，andcoveredhisfacewithhard，fiercekissesofpassion。Inspiteofhisotherness，theoldbloodbeatupinhim。
`Notthis，notthis，\'hewhimperedtohimself，asthefirstperfectmoodofsoftnessandsleep—lovelinessebbedbackawayfromtherushingofpassionthatcameuptohislimbsandoverhisfaceasshedrewhim。
Andsoonhewasaperfecthardflameofpassionatedesireforher。Yetinthesmallcoreoftheflamewasanunyieldinganguishofanotherthing。
Butthisalsowaslost;heonlywantedher，withanextremedesirethatseemedinevitableasdeath，beyondquestion。
Then，satisfiedandshattered，fulfilledanddestroyed，hewenthomeawayfromher，driftingvaguelythroughthedarkness，lapsedintotheoldfireofburningpassion。Faraway，faraway，thereseemedtobeasmalllamentinthedarkness。Butwhatdiditmatter？Whatdiditmatter，whatdidanythingmattersavethisultimateandtriumphantexperienceofphysicalpassion，thathadblazedupanewlikeanewspelloflife。`Iwasbecomingquitedead—alive，nothingbutaword—bag，\'hesaidintriumph，scorninghisotherself。Yetsomewherefaroffandsmall，theotherhovered。
Themenwerestilldraggingthelakewhenhegotback。HestoodonthebankandheardGerald\'svoice。Thewaterwasstillboominginthenight，themoonwasfair，thehillsbeyondwereelusive。Thelakewassinking。
Therecametherawsmellofthebanks，inthenightair。
UpatShortlandstherewerelightsinthewindows，asifnobodyhadgonetobed。Onthelanding—stagewastheolddoctor，thefatheroftheyoungmanwhowaslost。Hestoodquitesilent，waiting。Birkinalsostoodandwatched，Geraldcameupinaboat。
`Youstillhere，Rupert？\'hesaid。`Wecan\'tgetthem。Thebottomslopes，youknow，verysteep。Thewaterliesbetweentwoverysharpslopes，withlittlebranchvalleys，andGodknowswherethedriftwilltakeyou。Itisn\'tasifitwasalevelbottom。Youneverknowwhereyouare，withthedragging。\'
`Isthereanyneedforyoutobeworking？\'saidBirkin。`Wouldn\'titbemuchbetterifyouwenttobed？\'
`Tobed！GoodGod，doyouthinkIshouldsleep？We\'llfind\'em，beforeIgoawayfromhere。\'
`Butthemenwouldfindthemjustthesamewithoutyou——whyshouldyouinsist？\'
Geraldlookedupathim。ThenheputhishandaffectionatelyonBirkin\'sshoulder，saying:
`Don\'tyoubotheraboutme，Rupert。Ifthere\'sanybody\'shealthtothinkabout，it\'syours，notmine。Howdoyoufeelyourself？\'
`Verywell。Butyou，youspoilyourownchanceoflife——youwasteyourbestself。\'
Geraldwassilentforamoment。Thenhesaid:
`Wasteit？Whatelseistheretodowithit？\'
`Butleavethis，won\'tyou？Youforceyourselfintohorrors，andputamill—stoneofbeastlymemoriesroundyourneck。Comeawaynow。\'
`Amill—stoneofbeastlymemories！\'Geraldrepeated。ThenheputhishandagainaffectionatelyonBirkin\'sshoulder。`God，you\'vegotsuchatellingwayofputtingthings，Rupert，youhave。\'
Birkin\'sheartsank。Hewasirritatedandwearyofhavingatellingwayofputtingthings。
`Won\'tyouleaveit？Comeovertomyplace\'——heurgedasoneurgesadrunkenman。
`No，\'saidGeraldcoaxingly，hisarmacrosstheotherman\'sshoulder。
`Thanksverymuch，Rupert——Ishallbegladtocometomorrow，ifthat\'lldo。Youunderstand，don\'tyou？Iwanttoseethisjobthrough。ButI\'llcometomorrow，rightenough。Oh，I\'drathercomeandhaveachatwithyouthan——thandoanythingelse，Iverilybelieve。Yes，Iwould。Youmeanalottome，Rupert，morethanyouknow。\'
`WhatdoImean，morethanIknow？\'askedBirkinirritably。HewasacutelyawareofGerald\'shandonhisshoulder。Andhedidnotwantthisaltercation。
Hewantedtheothermantocomeoutoftheuglymisery。
`I\'lltellyouanothertime，\'saidGeraldcoaxingly。
`Comealongwithmenow——Iwantyoutocome，\'saidBirkin。
Therewasapause，intenseandreal。Birkinwonderedwhyhisownheartbeatsoheavily。ThenGerald\'sfingersgrippedhardandcommunicativeintoBirkin\'sshoulder，ashesaid:
`No，I\'llseethisjobthrough，Rupert。Thankyou——Iknowwhatyoumean。We\'reallright，youknow，youandme。\'
`Imaybeallright，butI\'msureyou\'renot，muckingabouthere，\'saidBirkin。Andhewentaway。
Thebodiesofthedeadwerenotrecoveredtilltowardsdawn。Dianahadherarmstightroundtheneckoftheyoungman，chokinghim。
`Shekilledhim，\'saidGerald。
Themoonslopeddowntheskyandsankatlast。Thelakewassunktoquartersize，ithadhorriblerawbanksofclay，thatsmelledofrawrottenishwater。Dawnrousedfaintlybehindtheeasternhill。Thewaterstillboomedthroughthesluice。
Asthebirdswerewhistlingforthefirstmorning，andthehillsatthebackofthedesolatelakestoodradiantwiththenewmists，therewasastragglingprocessionuptoShortlands，menbearingthebodiesonastretcher，Geraldgoingbesidethem，thetwogrey—beardedfathersfollowinginsilence。
Indoorsthefamilywasallsittingup，waiting。Somebodymustgototellthemother，inherroom。Thedoctorinsecretstruggledtobringbackhisson，tillhehimselfwasexhausted。
OveralltheoutlyingdistrictwasahushofdreadfulexcitementonthatSundaymorning。Thecollierypeoplefeltasifthiscatastrophehadhappeneddirectlytothemselves，indeedtheyweremoreshockedandfrightenedthaniftheirownmenhadbeenkilled。SuchatragedyinShortlands，thehighhomeofthedistrict！Oneoftheyoungmistresses，persistingindancingonthecabinroofofthelaunch，wilfulyoungmadam，drownedinthemidstofthefestival，withtheyoungdoctor！EverywhereontheSundaymorning，thecollierswanderedabout，discussingthecalamity。AtalltheSundaydinnersofthepeople，thereseemedastrangepresence。Itwasasiftheangelofdeathwereverynear，therewasasenseofthesupernaturalintheair。Themenhadexcited，startledfaces，thewomenlookedsolemn，someofthemhadbeencrying。Thechildrenenjoyedtheexcitementatfirst。
Therewasanintensityintheair，almostmagical。Didallenjoyit？Didallenjoythethrill？
GudrunhadwildideasofrushingtocomfortGerald。Shewasthinkingallthetimeoftheperfectcomforting，reassuringthingtosaytohim。
Shewasshockedandfrightened，butsheputthataway，thinkingofhowsheshoulddeportherselfwithGerald:actherpart。Thatwastherealthrill:howsheshouldactherpart。
UrsulawasdeeplyandpassionatelyinlovewithBirkin，andshewascapableofnothing。Shewasperfectlycallousaboutallthetalkoftheaccident，butherestrangedairlookedliketrouble。Shemerelysatbyherself，whenevershecould，andlongedtoseehimagain。Shewantedhimtocometothehouse，——shewouldnothaveitotherwise，hemustcomeatonce。Shewaswaitingforhim。Shestayedindoorsallday，waitingforhimtoknockatthedoor。Everyminute，sheglancedautomaticallyatthewindow。Hewouldbethere。
WomenInLove:Chapter15CHAPTERXVSundayEveningASTHEDAYworeon，thelife—bloodseemedtoebbawayfromUrsula，andwithintheemptinessaheavydespairgathered。Herpassionseemedtobleedtodeath，andtherewasnothing。Shesatsuspendedinastateofcompletenullity，hardertobearthandeath。
`Unlesssomethinghappens，\'shesaidtoherself，intheperfectlucidityoffinalsuffering，`Ishalldie。Iamattheendofmylineoflife。\'
Shesatcrushedandobliteratedinadarknessthatwastheborderofdeath。Sherealisedhowallherlifeshehadbeendrawingnearerandnearertothisbrink，wheretherewasnobeyond，fromwhichonehadtoleaplikeSapphointotheunknown。Theknowledgeoftheimminenceofdeathwaslikeadrug。Darkly，withoutthinkingatall，sheknewthatshewasneartodeath。Shehadtravelledallherlifealongthelineoffulfilment，anditwasnearlyconcluded。Sheknewallshehadtoknow，shehadexperiencedallshehadtoexperience，shewasfulfilledinakindofbitterripeness，thereremainedonlytofallfromthetreeintodeath。Andonemustfulfilone\'sdevelopmenttotheend，mustcarrytheadventuretoitsconclusion。
Andthenextstepwasovertheborderintodeath。Soitwasthen！Therewasacertainpeaceintheknowledge。
Afterall，whenonewasfulfilled，onewashappiestinfallingintodeath，asabitterfruitplungesinitsripenessdownwards。Deathisagreatconsummation，aconsummatingexperience。Itisadevelopmentfromlife。Thatweknow，whileweareyetliving。Whatthenneedwethinkforfurther？Onecanneverseebeyondtheconsummation。Itisenoughthatdeathisagreatandconclusiveexperience。Whyshouldweaskwhatcomesaftertheexperience，whentheexperienceisstillunknowntous？Letusdie，sincethegreatexperienceistheonethatfollowsnowuponalltherest，death，whichisthenextgreatcrisisinfrontofwhichwehavearrived。
