Hermioneseemedtobebearingdownonher,awfulandinchoate,makingsomeappeal。TheywerelookingatsomeIndiansilkshirts,gorgeousandsensualinthemselves,theirshape,theiralmostcorruptgorgeousness。AndHermionecamenear,andherbosomwrithed,andUrsulawasforamomentblankwithpanic。AndforamomentHermione\'shaggardeyessawthefearonthefaceoftheother,therewasagainasortofcrash,acrashingdown。AndUrsulapickedupashirtofrichredandbluesilk,madeforayoungprincessoffourteen,andwascryingmechanically:
`Isn\'titwonderful——whowoulddaretoputthosetwostrongcolourstogether——\'
ThenHermione\'smaidenteredsilentlyandUrsula,overcomewithdread,escaped,carriedawaybypowerfulimpulse。
Birkinwentstraighttobed。Hewasfeelinghappy,andsleepy。Sincehehaddancedhewashappy。ButGeraldwouldtalktohim。Gerald,ineveningdress,satonBirkin\'sbedwhentheotherlaydown,andmusttalk。
`WhoarethosetwoBrangwens?\'Geraldasked。
`TheyliveinBeldover。\'
`InBeldover!Whoaretheythen?\'
`TeachersintheGrammarSchool。\'
Therewasapause。
`Theyare!\'exclaimedGeraldatlength。`IthoughtIhadseenthembefore。\'
`Itdisappointsyou?\'saidBirkin。
`Disappointsme!No——buthowisitHermionehasthemhere?\'
`SheknewGudruninLondon——that\'stheyoungerone,theonewiththedarkerhair——she\'sanartist——doessculptureandmodelling。\'
`She\'snotateacherintheGrammarSchool,then——onlytheother?\'
`Both——Gudrunartmistress,Ursulaaclassmistress。\'
`Andwhat\'sthefather?\'
`Handicraftinstructorintheschools。\'
`Really!\'
`Class—barriersarebreakingdown!\'
Geraldwasalwaysuneasyundertheslightlyjeeringtoneoftheother。
`Thattheirfatherishandicraftinstructorinaschool!Whatdoesitmattertome?\'
Birkinlaughed。Geraldlookedathisface,asitlaytherelaughingandbitterandindifferentonthepillow,andhecouldnotgoaway。
`Idon\'tsupposeyouwillseeverymuchmoreofGudrun,atleast。Sheisarestlessbird,she\'llbegoneinaweekortwo,\'saidBirkin。
`Wherewillshego?\'
`London,Paris,Rome——heavenknows。IalwaysexpecthertosheerofftoDamascusorSanFrancisco;she\'sabirdofparadise。Godknowswhatshe\'sgottodowithBeldover。Itgoesbycontraries,likedreams。\'
Geraldponderedforafewmoments。
`Howdoyouknowhersowell?\'heasked。
`IknewherinLondon,\'hereplied,`intheAlgernonStrangeset。She\'llknowaboutPussumandLibidnikovandtherest——evenifshedoesn\'tknowthempersonally。Shewasneverquitethatset——moreconventional,inaway。I\'veknownherfortwoyears,Isuppose。\'
`Andshemakesmoney,apartfromherteaching?\'askedGerald。
`Some——irregularly。Shecansellhermodels。Shehasacertainreclame。\'
`Howmuchfor?\'
`Aguinea,tenguineas。\'
`Andaretheygood?Whatarethey?\'
`Ithinksometimestheyaremarvellouslygood。Thatishers,thosetwowagtailsinHermione\'sboudoir——you\'veseenthem——theyarecarvedinwoodandpainted。\'
`Ithoughtitwassavagecarvingagain。\'
`No,hers。That\'swhattheyare——animalsandbirds,sometimesoddsmallpeopleineverydaydress,reallyratherwonderfulwhentheycomeoff。Theyhaveasortoffunninessthatisquiteunconsciousandsubtle。\'
`Shemightbeawell—knownartistoneday?\'musedGerald。
`Shemight。ButIthinkshewon\'t。Shedropsherartifanythingelsecatchesher。Hercontrarinesspreventshertakingitseriously——shemustneverbetooserious,shefeelsshemightgiveherselfaway。Andshewon\'tgiveherselfaway——she\'salwaysonthedefensive。That\'swhatIcan\'tstandabouthertype。Bytheway,howdidthingsgooffwithPussumafterIleftyou?Ihaven\'theardanything。\'
`Oh,ratherdisgusting。Hallidayturnedobjectionable,andIonlyjustsavedmyselffromjumpinginhisstomach,inarealold—fashionedrow。\'
Birkinwassilent。
`Ofcourse,\'hesaid,`Juliusissomewhatinsane。Ontheonehandhe\'shadreligiousmania,andontheother,heisfascinatedbyobscenity。Eitherheisapureservant,washingthefeetofChrist,orelseheismakingobscenedrawingsofJesus——actionandreaction——andbetweenthetwo,nothing。Heisreallyinsane。Hewantsapurelily,anothergirl,withababyface,ontheonehand,andontheother,hemusthavethePussum,justtodefilehimselfwithher。\'
`That\'swhatIcan\'tmakeout,\'saidGerald。`Doesheloveher,thePussum,ordoesn\'the?\'
`Heneitherdoesnordoesn\'t。Sheistheharlot,theactualharlotofadulterytohim。Andhe\'sgotacravingtothrowhimselfintothefilthofher。Thenhegetsupandcallsonthenameofthelilyofpurity,thebaby—facedgirl,andsoenjoyshimselfallround。It\'stheoldstory——
actionandreaction,andnothingbetween。\'
`Idon\'tknow,\'saidGerald,afterapause,`thathedoesinsultthePussumsoverymuch。Shestrikesmeasbeingratherfoul。\'
`ButIthoughtyoulikedher,\'exclaimedBirkin。`Ialwaysfeltfondofher。Ineverhadanythingtodowithher,personally,that\'strue。\'
`Ilikedherallright,foracoupleofdays,\'saidGerald。`Butaweekofherwouldhaveturnedmeover。There\'sacertainsmellabouttheskinofthosewomen,thatintheendissickeningbeyondwords——evenifyoulikeitatfirst。\'
`Iknow,\'saidBirkin。Thenheadded,ratherfretfully,`Butgotobed,Gerald。Godknowswhattimeitis。\'
Geraldlookedathiswatch,andatlengthroseoffthebed,andwenttohisroom。Buthereturnedinafewminutes,inhisshirt。
`Onething,\'hesaid,seatinghimselfonthebedagain。`Wefinishedupratherstormily,andIneverhadtimetogiveheranything。\'
`Money?\'saidBirkin。`She\'llgetwhatshewantsfromHallidayorfromoneofheracquaintances。\'
`Butthen,\'saidGerald,`I\'drathergiveherherduesandsettletheaccount。\'
`Shedoesn\'tcare。\'
`No,perhapsnot。Butonefeelstheaccountisleftopen,andonewouldratheritwereclosed。\'
`Wouldyou?\'saidBirkin。HewaslookingatthewhitelegsofGerald,asthelattersatonthesideofthebedinhisshirt。Theywerewhite—skinned,full,muscularlegs,handsomeanddecided。YettheymovedBirkinwithasortofpathos,tenderness,asiftheywerechildish。
`IthinkI\'dratherclosetheaccount,\'saidGerald,repeatinghimselfvaguely。
`Itdoesn\'tmatteronewayoranother,\'saidBirkin。
`Youalwayssayitdoesn\'tmatter,\'saidGerald,alittlepuzzled,lookingdownatthefaceoftheothermanaffectionately。
`Neitherdoesit,\'saidBirkin。
`Butshewasadecentsort,really——\'
`RenderuntoCaesarinathethingsthatareCaesarina\'s,\'saidBirkin,turningaside。ItseemedtohimGeraldwastalkingforthesakeoftalking。
`Goaway,itweariesme——it\'stoolateatnight,\'hesaid。
`Iwishyou\'dtellmesomethingthatdidmatter,\'saidGerald,lookingdownallthetimeatthefaceoftheotherman,waitingforsomething。
ButBirkinturnedhisfaceaside。
`Allrightthen,gotosleep,\'saidGerald,andhelaidhishandaffectionatelyontheotherman\'sshoulder,andwentaway。
InthemorningwhenGeraldawokeandheardBirkinmove,hecalledout:
`IstillthinkIoughttogivethePussumtenpounds。\'
`OhGod!\'saidBirkin,`don\'tbesomatter—of—fact。Closetheaccountinyourownsoul,ifyoulike。Itisthereyoucan\'tcloseit。\'
`HowdoyouknowIcan\'t?\'
`Knowingyou。\'
Geraldmeditatedforsomemoments。
`Itseemstometherightthingtodo,youknow,withthePussums,istopaythem。\'
`Andtherightthingformistresses:keepthem。Andtherightthingforwives:liveunderthesameroofwiththem。Integervitaescelerisquepurus——\'saidBirkin。
`There\'snoneedtobenastyaboutit,\'saidGerald。
`Itboresme。I\'mnotinterestedinyourpeccadilloes。\'
`AndIdon\'tcarewhetheryouareornot——Iam。\'
Themorningwasagainsunny。Themaidhadbeeninandbroughtthewater,andhaddrawnthecurtains。Birkin,sittingupinbed,lookedlazilyandpleasantlyoutonthepark,thatwassogreenanddeserted,romantic,belongingtothepast。Hewasthinkinghowlovely,howsure,howformed,howfinalallthethingsofthepastwere——thelovelyaccomplishedpast——thishouse,sostillandgolden,theparkslumberingitscenturiesofpeace。
Andthen,whatasnareandadelusion,thisbeautyofstaticthings——
whatahorrible,deadprisonBreadalbyreallywas,whatanintolerableconfinement,thepeace!Yetitwasbetterthanthesordidscramblingconflictofthepresent。Ifonlyonemightcreatethefutureafterone\'sownheart——foralittlepuretruth,alittleunflinchingapplicationofsimpletruthtolife,theheartcriedoutceaselessly。
`Ican\'tseewhatyouwillleavemeatall,tobeinterestedin,\'cameGerald\'svoicefromthelowerroom。`NeitherthePussums,northemines,noranythingelse。\'
`Youbeinterestedinwhatyoucan,Gerald。OnlyI\'mnotinterestedmyself,\'saidBirkin。
`WhatamItodoatall,then?\'cameGerald\'svoice。
`Whatyoulike。WhatamItodomyself?\'
InthesilenceBirkincouldfeelGeraldmusingthisfact。
`I\'mblestifIknow,\'camethegood—humouredanswer。
`Yousee,\'saidBirkin,`partofyouwantsthePussum,andnothingbutthePussum,partofyouwantsthemines,thebusiness,andnothingbutthebusiness——andthereyouare——allinbits——\'
`Andpartofmewantssomethingelse,\'saidGerald,inaqueer,quiet,realvoice。
`What?\'saidBirkin,rathersurprised。
`That\'swhatIhopedyoucouldtellme,\'saidGerald。
Therewasasilenceforsometime。
`Ican\'ttellyou——Ican\'tfindmyownway,letaloneyours。Youmightmarry,\'Birkinreplied。
`Who——thePussum?\'askedGerald。
`Perhaps,\'saidBirkin。Andheroseandwenttothewindow。
`Thatisyourpanacea,\'saidGerald。`Butyouhaven\'teventrieditonyourselfyet,andyouaresickenough。\'
`Iam,\'saidBirkin。`Still,Ishallcomeright。\'
`Throughmarriage?\'
`Yes,\'Birkinansweredobstinately。
`Andno,\'addedGerald。`No,no,no,myboy。\'
Therewasasilencebetweenthem,andastrangetensionofhostility。
Theyalwayskeptagap,adistancebetweenthem,theywantedalwaystobefreeeachoftheother。Yettherewasacuriousheart—strainingtowardseachother。
`Salvatorfemininus,\'saidGerald,satirically。
`Whynot?\'saidBirkin。
`Noreasonatall,\'saidGerald,`ifitreallyworks。Butwhomwillyoumarry?\'
`Awoman,\'saidBirkin。
`Good,\'saidGerald。
BirkinandGeraldwerethelasttocomedowntobreakfast。Hermionelikedeverybodytobeearly。Shesufferedwhenshefeltherdaywasdiminished,shefeltshehadmissedherlife。Sheseemedtogripthehoursbythethroat,toforceherlifefromthem。Shewasratherpaleandghastly,asifleftbehind,inthemorning。Yetshehadherpower,herwillwasstrangelypervasive。
Withtheentranceofthetwoyoungmenasuddentensionwasfelt。
Sheliftedherface,andsaid,inheramusedsing—song:
`Goodmorning!Didyousleepwell?I\'msoglad。\'
Andsheturnedaway,ignoringthem。Birkin,whoknewherwell,sawthatsheintendedtodiscounthisexistence。
`Willyoutakewhatyouwantfromthesideboard?\'saidAlexander,inavoiceslightlysuggestingdisapprobation。`Ihopethethingsaren\'tcold。
Ohno!Doyoumindputtingouttheflameunderthechafingdish,Rupert?
Thankyou。\'
EvenAlexanderwasratherauthoritativewhereHermionewascool。Hetookhistonefromher,inevitably。Birkinsatdownandlookedatthetable。
Hewassousedtothishouse,tothisroom,tothisatmosphere,throughyearsofintimacy,andnowhefeltincompleteoppositiontoitall,ithadnothingtodowithhim。HowwellheknewHermione,asshesatthere,erectandsilentandsomewhatbemused,andyetsopotent,sopowerful!
Heknewherstatically,sofinally,thatitwasalmostlikeamadness。
Itwasdifficulttobelieveonewasnotmad,thatonewasnotafigureinthehallofkingsinsomeEgyptiantomb,wherethedeadallsatimmemorialandtremendous。HowutterlyheknewJoshuaMattheson,whowastalkinginhisharsh,yetrathermincingvoice,endlessly,endlessly,alwayswithastrongmentalityworking,alwaysinteresting,andyetalwaysknown,everythinghesaidknownbeforehand,howevernovelitwas,andclever。Alexandertheup—to—datehost,sobloodlesslyfree—and—easy,Frauleinsoprettilychiminginjustassheshould,thelittleItalianCountesstakingnoticeofeverybody,onlyplayingherlittlegame,objectiveandcold,likeaweaselwatchingeverything,andextractingherownamusement,nevergivingherselfintheslightest;thenMissBradley,heavyandrathersubservient,treatedwithcool,almostamusedcontemptbyHermione,andthereforeslightedbyeverybody——howknownitallwas,likeagamewiththefiguressetout,thesamefigures,theQueenofchess,theknights,thepawns,thesamenowastheywerehundredsofyearsago,thesamefiguresmovingroundinoneoftheinnumerablepermutationsthatmakeupthegame。Butthegameisknown,itsgoingonislikeamadness,itissoexhausted。
TherewasGerald,anamusedlookonhisface;thegamepleasedhim。
TherewasGudrun,watchingwithsteady,large,hostileeyes;thegamefascinatedher,andsheloathedit。TherewasUrsula,withaslightlystartledlookonherface,asifshewerehurt,andthepainwerejustoutsideherconsciousness。
SuddenlyBirkingotupandwentout。
`That\'senough,\'hesaidtohimselfinvoluntarily。
Hermioneknewhismotion,thoughnotinherconsciousness。Sheliftedherheavyeyesandsawhimlapsesuddenlyaway,onasudden,unknowntide,andthewavesbrokeoverher。Onlyherindomitablewillremainedstaticandmechanical,shesatatthetablemakinghermusing,strayremarks。
Butthedarknesshadcoveredher,shewaslikeashipthathasgonedown。
Itwasfinishedforhertoo,shewaswreckedinthedarkness。Yettheunfailingmechanismofherwillworkedon,shehadthatactivity。
`Shallwebathethismorning?\'shesaid,suddenlylookingatthemall。
`Splendid,\'saidJoshua。`Itisaperfectmorning。\'
`Oh,itisbeautiful,\'saidFraulein。
`Yes,letusbathe,\'saidtheItalianwoman。
`Wehavenobathingsuits,\'saidGerald。
`Havemine,\'saidAlexander。`Imustgotochurchandreadthelessons。
Theyexpectme。\'
`AreyouaChristian?\'askedtheItalianCountess,withsuddeninterest。
`No,\'saidAlexander。`I\'mnot。ButIbelieveinkeepinguptheoldinstitutions。\'
`Theyaresobeautiful,\'saidFrauleindaintily。
`Oh,theyare,\'criedMissBradley。
Theyalltrailedoutontothelawn。Itwasasunny,softmorninginearlysummer,whenliferanintheworldsubtly,likeareminiscence。Thechurchbellswereringingalittlewayoff,notacloudwasinthesky,theswanswerelikeliliesonthewaterbelow,thepeacockswalkedwithlong,prancingstepsacrosstheshadowandintothesunshineofthegrass。
Onewantedtoswoonintotheby—goneperfectionofitall。
`Good—bye,\'calledAlexander,wavinghisglovescheerily,andhedisappearedbehindthebushes,onhiswaytochurch。
`Now,\'saidHermione,`shallweallbathe?\'
`Iwon\'t,\'saidUrsula。
`Youdon\'twantto?\'saidHermione,lookingatherslowly。
`No。Idon\'twantto,\'saidUrsula。
`NorI,\'saidGudrun。
`Whataboutmysuit?\'askedGerald。
`Idon\'tknow,\'laughedHermione,withanodd,amusedintonation。`Willahandkerchiefdo——alargehandkerchief?\'
`Thatwilldo,\'saidGerald。
`Comealongthen,\'sangHermione。
ThefirsttorunacrossthelawnwasthelittleItalian,smallandlikeacat,herwhitelegstwinklingasshewent,duckingslightlyherhead,thatwastiedinagoldsilkkerchief。Shetrippedthroughthegateanddownthegrass,andstood,likeatinyfigureofivoryandbronze,atthewater\'sedge,havingdroppedoffhertowelling,watchingtheswans,whichcameupinsurprise。ThenoutranMissBradley,likealarge,softpluminherdark—bluesuit。ThenGeraldcame,ascarletsilkkerchiefroundhisloins,histowelsoverhisarms。Heseemedtoflaunthimselfalittleinthesun,lingeringandlaughing,strollingeasily,lookingwhitebutnaturalinhisnakedness。ThencameSirJoshua,inanovercoat,andlastlyHermione,stridingwithstiffgracefromoutofagreatmantleofpurplesilk,herheadtiedupinpurpleandgold。Handsomewasherstiff,longbody,herstraight—steppingwhitelegs,therewasastaticmagnificenceaboutherassheletthecloakfloatlooselyawayfromherstriding。Shecrossedthelawnlikesomestrangememory,andpassedslowlyandstatelilytowardsthewater。
Therewerethreeponds,interracesdescendingthevalley,largeandsmoothandbeautiful,lyinginthesun。Thewaterranoveralittlestonewall,oversmallrocks,splashingdownfromonepondtothelevelbelow。
Theswanshadgoneoutontotheoppositebank,thereedssmelledsweet,afaintbreezetouchedtheskin。
Geraldhaddivedin,afterSirJoshua,andhadswumtotheendofthepond。Thereheclimbedoutandsatonthewall。Therewasadive,andthelittleCountesswasswimminglikearat,tojoinhim。Theybothsatinthesun,laughingandcrossingtheirarmsontheirbreasts。SirJoshuaswamuptothem,andstoodnearthem,uptohisarm—pitsinthewater。
ThenHermioneandMissBradleyswamover,andtheysatinarowontheembankment。
`Aren\'ttheyterrifying?Aren\'ttheyreallyterrifying?\'saidGudrun。
`Don\'ttheylooksaurian?Theyarejustlikegreatlizards。DidyoueverseeanythinglikeSirJoshua?Butreally,Ursula,hebelongstotheprimevalworld,whengreatlizardscrawledabout。\'
GudrunlookedindismayonSirJoshua,whostooduptothebreastinthewater,hislong,greyishhairwasheddownintohiseyes,hisnecksetintothick,crudeshoulders。HewastalkingtoMissBradley,who,seatedonthebankabove,plumpandbigandwet,lookedasifshemightrollandslitherinthewateralmostlikeoneoftheslitheringsealionsintheZoo。
Ursulawatchedinsilence。Geraldwaslaughinghappily,betweenHermioneandtheItalian。HeremindedherofDionysos,becausehishairwasreallyyellow,hisfiguresofullandlaughing。Hermione,inherlarge,stiff,sinistergrace,leanednearhim,frightening,asifshewerenotresponsibleforwhatshemightdo。Heknewacertaindangerinher,aconvulsivemadness。
Butheonlylaughedthemore,turningoftentothelittleCountess,whowasflashingupherfaceathim。
Theyalldroppedintothewater,andwereswimmingtogetherlikeashoalofseals。Hermionewaspowerfulandunconsciousinthewater,largeandslowandpowerful。Palestrawasquickandsilentasawaterrat,Geraldwaveredandflickered,awhitenaturalshadow。Then,oneaftertheother,theywadedout,andwentuptothehouse。
ButGeraldlingeredamomenttospeaktoGudrun。
`Youdon\'tlikethewater?\'hesaid。
Shelookedathimwithalong,slowinscrutablelook,ashestoodbeforehernegligently,thewaterstandinginbeadsalloverhisskin。
`Ilikeitverymuch,\'shereplied。
Hepaused,expectingsomesortofexplanation。
`Andyouswim?\'
`Yes,Iswim。\'
Stillhewouldnotaskherwhyshewouldnotgointhen。Hecouldfeelsomethingironicinher。Hewalkedaway,piquedforthefirsttime。
`Whywouldn\'tyoubathe?\'heaskedheragain,later,whenhewasoncemoretheproperly—dressedyoungEnglishman。
Shehesitatedamomentbeforeanswering,opposinghispersistence。
`BecauseIdidn\'tlikethecrowd,\'shereplied。
Helaughed,herphraseseemedtore—echoinhisconsciousness。Theflavourofherslangwaspiquanttohim。Whetherhewouldornot,shesignifiedtherealworldtohim。Hewantedtocomeuptoherstandards,fulfilherexpectations。Heknewthathercriterionwastheonlyonethatmattered。
Theotherswerealloutsiders,instinctively,whatevertheymightbesocially。
AndGeraldcouldnothelpit,hewasboundtostrivetocomeuptohercriterion,fulfilherideaofamanandahuman—being。
Afterlunch,whenalltheothershadwithdrawn,HermioneandGeraldandBirkinlingered,finishingtheirtalk。Therehadbeensomediscussion,onthewholequiteintellectualandartificial,aboutanewstate,anewworldofman。Supposingthisoldsocialstatewerebrokenanddestroyed,then,outofthechaos,whatthen?
Thegreatsocialidea,saidSirJoshua,wasthesocialequalityofman。No,saidGerald,theideawas,thateverymanwasfitforhisownlittlebitofatask——lethimdothat,andthenpleasehimself。Theunifyingprinciplewastheworkinhand。Onlywork,thebusinessofproduction,heldmentogether。Itwasmechanical,butthensocietywasamechanism。
Apartfromworktheywereisolated,freetodoastheyliked。
`Oh!\'criedGudrun。`Thenweshan\'thavenamesanymore——weshallbeliketheGermans,nothingbutHerrObermeisterandHerrUntermeister。
Icanimagineit——\"IamMrsColliery—ManagerCrich——IamMrsMember—of—ParliamentRoddice。IamMissArt—TeacherBrangwen。\"Veryprettythat。\'
`Thingswouldworkverymuchbetter,MissArt—TeacherBrangwen,\'saidGerald。
`Whatthings,MrColliery—ManagerCrich?Therelationbetweenyouandme,parexemple?\'
`Yes,forexample,\'criedtheItalian。`Thatwhichisbetweenmenandwomen——!\'
`Thatisnon—social,\'saidBirkin,sarcastically。
`Exactly,\'saidGerald。`Betweenmeandawoman,thesocialquestiondoesnotenter。Itismyownaffair。\'
`Aten—poundnoteonit,\'saidBirkin。
`Youdon\'tadmitthatawomanisasocialbeing?\'askedUrsulaofGerald。
`Sheisboth,\'saidGerald。`Sheisasocialbeing,asfarassocietyisconcerned。Butforherownprivateself,sheisafreeagent,itisherownaffair,whatshedoes。\'
`Butwon\'titberatherdifficulttoarrangethetwohalves?\'askedUrsula。
`Ohno,\'repliedGerald。`Theyarrangethemselvesnaturally——weseeitnow,everywhere。\'
`Don\'tyoulaughsopleasantlytillyou\'reoutofthewood,\'saidBirkin。
Geraldknittedhisbrowsinmomentaryirritation。
`WasIlaughing?\'hesaid。
`If,\'saidHermioneatlast,`wecouldonlyrealise,thatinthespiritweareallone,allequalinthespirit,allbrothersthere——therestwouldn\'tmatter,therewouldbenomoreofthiscarpingandenvyandthisstruggleforpower,whichdestroys,onlydestroys。\'
Thisspeechwasreceivedinsilence,andalmostimmediatelythepartyrosefromthetable。Butwhentheothershadgone,Birkinturnedroundinbitterdeclamation,saying:
`Itisjusttheopposite,justthecontrary,Hermione。Wearealldifferentandunequalinspirit——itisonlythesocialdifferencesthatarebasedonaccidentalmaterialconditions。Weareallabstractlyormathematicallyequal,ifyoulike。Everymanhashungerandthirst,twoeyes,onenoseandtwolegs。We\'reallthesameinpointofnumber。Butspiritually,thereispuredifferenceandneitherequalitynorinequalitycounts。Itisuponthesetwobitsofknowledgethatyoumustfoundastate。Yourdemocracyisanabsolutelie——yourbrotherhoodofmanisapurefalsity,ifyouapplyitfurtherthanthemathematicalabstraction。Wealldrankmilkfirst,wealleatbreadandmeat,weallwanttorideinmotor—cars——thereinliesthebeginningandtheendofthebrotherhoodofman。Butnoequality。
`ButI,myself,whoammyself,whathaveItodowithequalitywithanyothermanorwoman?Inthespirit,Iamasseparateasonestarisfromanother,asdifferentinqualityandquantity。Establishastateonthat。Onemanisn\'tanybetterthananother,notbecausetheyareequal,butbecausetheyareintrinsicallyother,thatthereisnotermofcomparison。Theminuteyoubegintocompare,onemanisseentobefarbetterthananother,alltheinequalityyoucanimagineistherebynature。Iwanteverymantohavehisshareintheworld\'sgoods,sothatIamridofhisimportunity,sothatIcantellhim:\"Nowyou\'vegotwhatyouwant——you\'vegotyourfairshareoftheworld\'sgear。Now,youone—mouthedfool,mindyourselfanddon\'tobstructme。\'
Hermionewaslookingathimwithleeringeyes,alonghercheeks。Hecouldfeelviolentwavesofhatredandloathingofallhesaid,comingoutofher。Itwasdynamichatredandloathing,comingstrongandblackoutoftheunconsciousness。Sheheardhiswordsinherunconsciousself,consciouslyshewasasifdeafened,shepaidnoheedtothem。
`Itsoundslikemegalomania,Rupert,\'saidGerald,genially。
Hermionegaveaqueer,gruntingsound。Birkinstoodback。
`Yes,letit,\'hesaidsuddenly,thewholetonegoneoutofhisvoice,thathadbeensoinsistent,bearingeverybodydown。Andhewentaway。
Buthefelt,later,alittlecompunction。Hehadbeenviolent,cruelwithpoorHermione。Hewantedtorecompenseher,tomakeitup。Hehadhurther,hehadbeenvindictive。Hewantedtobeongoodtermswithheragain。
Hewentintoherboudoir,aremoteandverycushionyplace。Shewassittingathertablewritingletters。Sheliftedherfaceabstractedlywhenheentered,watchedhimgotothesofa,andsitdown。Thenshelookeddownatherpaperagain。
Hetookupalargevolumewhichhehadbeenreadingbefore,andbecameminutelyattentivetohisauthor。HisbackwastowardsHermione。Shecouldnotgoonwithherwriting。Herwholemindwasachaos,darknessbreakinginuponit,andherselfstrugglingtogaincontrolwithherwill,asaswimmerstruggleswiththeswirlingwater。Butinspiteofhereffortsshewasbornedown,darknessseemedtobreakoverher,shefeltasifherheartwasbursting。Theterribletensiongrewstrongerandstronger,itwasmostfearfulagony,likebeingwalledup。
Andthensherealisedthathispresencewasthewall,hispresencewasdestroyingher。Unlessshecouldbreakout,shemustdiemostfearfully,walledupinhorror。Andhewasthewall。Shemustbreakdownthewall——shemustbreakhimdownbeforeher,theawfulobstructionofhimwhoobstructedherlifetothelast。Itmustbedone,orshemustperishmosthorribly。
Terriblyshocksranoverherbody,likeshocksofelectricity,asifmanyvoltsofelectricitysuddenlystruckherdown。Shewasawareofhimsittingsilentlythere,anunthinkableevilobstruction。Onlythisblottedouthermind,pressedoutherverybreathing,hissilent,stoopingback,thebackofhishead。
Aterriblevoluptuousthrillrandownherarms——shewasgoingtoknowhervoluptuousconsummation。Herarmsquiveredandwerestrong,immeasurablyandirresistiblystrong。Whatdelight,whatdelightinstrength,whatdeliriumofpleasure!Shewasgoingtohaveherconsummationofvoluptuousecstasyatlast。Itwascoming!Inutmostterrorandagony,sheknewitwasuponhernow,inextremityofbliss。Herhandclosedonablue,beautifulballoflapislazulithatstoodonherdeskforapaper—weight。Sherolleditroundinherhandassherosesilently。Herheartwasapureflameinherbreast,shewaspurelyunconsciousinecstasy。Shemovedtowardshimandstoodbehindhimforamomentinecstasy。He,closedwithinthespell,remainedmotionlessandunconscious。