第8章

类别:其他 作者:D。 H。 Lawrence字数:11344更新时间:18/12/18 08:44:44
Hermioneseemedtobebearingdownonher,awfulandinchoate,makingsomeappeal。TheywerelookingatsomeIndiansilkshirts,gorgeousandsensualinthemselves,theirshape,theiralmostcorruptgorgeousness。AndHermionecamenear,andherbosomwrithed,andUrsulawasforamomentblankwithpanic。AndforamomentHermione\'shaggardeyessawthefearonthefaceoftheother,therewasagainasortofcrash,acrashingdown。AndUrsulapickedupashirtofrichredandbluesilk,madeforayoungprincessoffourteen,andwascryingmechanically: `Isn\'titwonderful——whowoulddaretoputthosetwostrongcolourstogether——\' ThenHermione\'smaidenteredsilentlyandUrsula,overcomewithdread,escaped,carriedawaybypowerfulimpulse。 Birkinwentstraighttobed。Hewasfeelinghappy,andsleepy。Sincehehaddancedhewashappy。ButGeraldwouldtalktohim。Gerald,ineveningdress,satonBirkin\'sbedwhentheotherlaydown,andmusttalk。 `WhoarethosetwoBrangwens?\'Geraldasked。 `TheyliveinBeldover。\' `InBeldover!Whoaretheythen?\' `TeachersintheGrammarSchool。\' Therewasapause。 `Theyare!\'exclaimedGeraldatlength。`IthoughtIhadseenthembefore。\' `Itdisappointsyou?\'saidBirkin。 `Disappointsme!No——buthowisitHermionehasthemhere?\' `SheknewGudruninLondon——that\'stheyoungerone,theonewiththedarkerhair——she\'sanartist——doessculptureandmodelling。\' `She\'snotateacherintheGrammarSchool,then——onlytheother?\' `Both——Gudrunartmistress,Ursulaaclassmistress。\' `Andwhat\'sthefather?\' `Handicraftinstructorintheschools。\' `Really!\' `Class—barriersarebreakingdown!\' Geraldwasalwaysuneasyundertheslightlyjeeringtoneoftheother。 `Thattheirfatherishandicraftinstructorinaschool!Whatdoesitmattertome?\' Birkinlaughed。Geraldlookedathisface,asitlaytherelaughingandbitterandindifferentonthepillow,andhecouldnotgoaway。 `Idon\'tsupposeyouwillseeverymuchmoreofGudrun,atleast。Sheisarestlessbird,she\'llbegoneinaweekortwo,\'saidBirkin。 `Wherewillshego?\' `London,Paris,Rome——heavenknows。IalwaysexpecthertosheerofftoDamascusorSanFrancisco;she\'sabirdofparadise。Godknowswhatshe\'sgottodowithBeldover。Itgoesbycontraries,likedreams。\' Geraldponderedforafewmoments。 `Howdoyouknowhersowell?\'heasked。 `IknewherinLondon,\'hereplied,`intheAlgernonStrangeset。She\'llknowaboutPussumandLibidnikovandtherest——evenifshedoesn\'tknowthempersonally。Shewasneverquitethatset——moreconventional,inaway。I\'veknownherfortwoyears,Isuppose。\' `Andshemakesmoney,apartfromherteaching?\'askedGerald。 `Some——irregularly。Shecansellhermodels。Shehasacertainreclame。\' `Howmuchfor?\' `Aguinea,tenguineas。\' `Andaretheygood?Whatarethey?\' `Ithinksometimestheyaremarvellouslygood。Thatishers,thosetwowagtailsinHermione\'sboudoir——you\'veseenthem——theyarecarvedinwoodandpainted。\' `Ithoughtitwassavagecarvingagain。\' `No,hers。That\'swhattheyare——animalsandbirds,sometimesoddsmallpeopleineverydaydress,reallyratherwonderfulwhentheycomeoff。Theyhaveasortoffunninessthatisquiteunconsciousandsubtle。\' `Shemightbeawell—knownartistoneday?\'musedGerald。 `Shemight。ButIthinkshewon\'t。Shedropsherartifanythingelsecatchesher。Hercontrarinesspreventshertakingitseriously——shemustneverbetooserious,shefeelsshemightgiveherselfaway。Andshewon\'tgiveherselfaway——she\'salwaysonthedefensive。That\'swhatIcan\'tstandabouthertype。Bytheway,howdidthingsgooffwithPussumafterIleftyou?Ihaven\'theardanything。\' `Oh,ratherdisgusting。Hallidayturnedobjectionable,andIonlyjustsavedmyselffromjumpinginhisstomach,inarealold—fashionedrow。\' Birkinwassilent。 `Ofcourse,\'hesaid,`Juliusissomewhatinsane。Ontheonehandhe\'shadreligiousmania,andontheother,heisfascinatedbyobscenity。Eitherheisapureservant,washingthefeetofChrist,orelseheismakingobscenedrawingsofJesus——actionandreaction——andbetweenthetwo,nothing。Heisreallyinsane。Hewantsapurelily,anothergirl,withababyface,ontheonehand,andontheother,hemusthavethePussum,justtodefilehimselfwithher。\' `That\'swhatIcan\'tmakeout,\'saidGerald。`Doesheloveher,thePussum,ordoesn\'the?\' `Heneitherdoesnordoesn\'t。Sheistheharlot,theactualharlotofadulterytohim。Andhe\'sgotacravingtothrowhimselfintothefilthofher。Thenhegetsupandcallsonthenameofthelilyofpurity,thebaby—facedgirl,andsoenjoyshimselfallround。It\'stheoldstory—— actionandreaction,andnothingbetween。\' `Idon\'tknow,\'saidGerald,afterapause,`thathedoesinsultthePussumsoverymuch。Shestrikesmeasbeingratherfoul。\' `ButIthoughtyoulikedher,\'exclaimedBirkin。`Ialwaysfeltfondofher。Ineverhadanythingtodowithher,personally,that\'strue。\' `Ilikedherallright,foracoupleofdays,\'saidGerald。`Butaweekofherwouldhaveturnedmeover。There\'sacertainsmellabouttheskinofthosewomen,thatintheendissickeningbeyondwords——evenifyoulikeitatfirst。\' `Iknow,\'saidBirkin。Thenheadded,ratherfretfully,`Butgotobed,Gerald。Godknowswhattimeitis。\' Geraldlookedathiswatch,andatlengthroseoffthebed,andwenttohisroom。Buthereturnedinafewminutes,inhisshirt。 `Onething,\'hesaid,seatinghimselfonthebedagain。`Wefinishedupratherstormily,andIneverhadtimetogiveheranything。\' `Money?\'saidBirkin。`She\'llgetwhatshewantsfromHallidayorfromoneofheracquaintances。\' `Butthen,\'saidGerald,`I\'drathergiveherherduesandsettletheaccount。\' `Shedoesn\'tcare。\' `No,perhapsnot。Butonefeelstheaccountisleftopen,andonewouldratheritwereclosed。\' `Wouldyou?\'saidBirkin。HewaslookingatthewhitelegsofGerald,asthelattersatonthesideofthebedinhisshirt。Theywerewhite—skinned,full,muscularlegs,handsomeanddecided。YettheymovedBirkinwithasortofpathos,tenderness,asiftheywerechildish。 `IthinkI\'dratherclosetheaccount,\'saidGerald,repeatinghimselfvaguely。 `Itdoesn\'tmatteronewayoranother,\'saidBirkin。 `Youalwayssayitdoesn\'tmatter,\'saidGerald,alittlepuzzled,lookingdownatthefaceoftheothermanaffectionately。 `Neitherdoesit,\'saidBirkin。 `Butshewasadecentsort,really——\' `RenderuntoCaesarinathethingsthatareCaesarina\'s,\'saidBirkin,turningaside。ItseemedtohimGeraldwastalkingforthesakeoftalking。 `Goaway,itweariesme——it\'stoolateatnight,\'hesaid。 `Iwishyou\'dtellmesomethingthatdidmatter,\'saidGerald,lookingdownallthetimeatthefaceoftheotherman,waitingforsomething。 ButBirkinturnedhisfaceaside。 `Allrightthen,gotosleep,\'saidGerald,andhelaidhishandaffectionatelyontheotherman\'sshoulder,andwentaway。 InthemorningwhenGeraldawokeandheardBirkinmove,hecalledout: `IstillthinkIoughttogivethePussumtenpounds。\' `OhGod!\'saidBirkin,`don\'tbesomatter—of—fact。Closetheaccountinyourownsoul,ifyoulike。Itisthereyoucan\'tcloseit。\' `HowdoyouknowIcan\'t?\' `Knowingyou。\' Geraldmeditatedforsomemoments。 `Itseemstometherightthingtodo,youknow,withthePussums,istopaythem。\' `Andtherightthingformistresses:keepthem。Andtherightthingforwives:liveunderthesameroofwiththem。Integervitaescelerisquepurus——\'saidBirkin。 `There\'snoneedtobenastyaboutit,\'saidGerald。 `Itboresme。I\'mnotinterestedinyourpeccadilloes。\' `AndIdon\'tcarewhetheryouareornot——Iam。\' Themorningwasagainsunny。Themaidhadbeeninandbroughtthewater,andhaddrawnthecurtains。Birkin,sittingupinbed,lookedlazilyandpleasantlyoutonthepark,thatwassogreenanddeserted,romantic,belongingtothepast。Hewasthinkinghowlovely,howsure,howformed,howfinalallthethingsofthepastwere——thelovelyaccomplishedpast——thishouse,sostillandgolden,theparkslumberingitscenturiesofpeace。 Andthen,whatasnareandadelusion,thisbeautyofstaticthings—— whatahorrible,deadprisonBreadalbyreallywas,whatanintolerableconfinement,thepeace!Yetitwasbetterthanthesordidscramblingconflictofthepresent。Ifonlyonemightcreatethefutureafterone\'sownheart——foralittlepuretruth,alittleunflinchingapplicationofsimpletruthtolife,theheartcriedoutceaselessly。 `Ican\'tseewhatyouwillleavemeatall,tobeinterestedin,\'cameGerald\'svoicefromthelowerroom。`NeitherthePussums,northemines,noranythingelse。\' `Youbeinterestedinwhatyoucan,Gerald。OnlyI\'mnotinterestedmyself,\'saidBirkin。 `WhatamItodoatall,then?\'cameGerald\'svoice。 `Whatyoulike。WhatamItodomyself?\' InthesilenceBirkincouldfeelGeraldmusingthisfact。 `I\'mblestifIknow,\'camethegood—humouredanswer。 `Yousee,\'saidBirkin,`partofyouwantsthePussum,andnothingbutthePussum,partofyouwantsthemines,thebusiness,andnothingbutthebusiness——andthereyouare——allinbits——\' `Andpartofmewantssomethingelse,\'saidGerald,inaqueer,quiet,realvoice。 `What?\'saidBirkin,rathersurprised。 `That\'swhatIhopedyoucouldtellme,\'saidGerald。 Therewasasilenceforsometime。 `Ican\'ttellyou——Ican\'tfindmyownway,letaloneyours。Youmightmarry,\'Birkinreplied。 `Who——thePussum?\'askedGerald。 `Perhaps,\'saidBirkin。Andheroseandwenttothewindow。 `Thatisyourpanacea,\'saidGerald。`Butyouhaven\'teventrieditonyourselfyet,andyouaresickenough。\' `Iam,\'saidBirkin。`Still,Ishallcomeright。\' `Throughmarriage?\' `Yes,\'Birkinansweredobstinately。 `Andno,\'addedGerald。`No,no,no,myboy。\' Therewasasilencebetweenthem,andastrangetensionofhostility。 Theyalwayskeptagap,adistancebetweenthem,theywantedalwaystobefreeeachoftheother。Yettherewasacuriousheart—strainingtowardseachother。 `Salvatorfemininus,\'saidGerald,satirically。 `Whynot?\'saidBirkin。 `Noreasonatall,\'saidGerald,`ifitreallyworks。Butwhomwillyoumarry?\' `Awoman,\'saidBirkin。 `Good,\'saidGerald。 BirkinandGeraldwerethelasttocomedowntobreakfast。Hermionelikedeverybodytobeearly。Shesufferedwhenshefeltherdaywasdiminished,shefeltshehadmissedherlife。Sheseemedtogripthehoursbythethroat,toforceherlifefromthem。Shewasratherpaleandghastly,asifleftbehind,inthemorning。Yetshehadherpower,herwillwasstrangelypervasive。 Withtheentranceofthetwoyoungmenasuddentensionwasfelt。 Sheliftedherface,andsaid,inheramusedsing—song: `Goodmorning!Didyousleepwell?I\'msoglad。\' Andsheturnedaway,ignoringthem。Birkin,whoknewherwell,sawthatsheintendedtodiscounthisexistence。 `Willyoutakewhatyouwantfromthesideboard?\'saidAlexander,inavoiceslightlysuggestingdisapprobation。`Ihopethethingsaren\'tcold。 Ohno!Doyoumindputtingouttheflameunderthechafingdish,Rupert? Thankyou。\' EvenAlexanderwasratherauthoritativewhereHermionewascool。Hetookhistonefromher,inevitably。Birkinsatdownandlookedatthetable。 Hewassousedtothishouse,tothisroom,tothisatmosphere,throughyearsofintimacy,andnowhefeltincompleteoppositiontoitall,ithadnothingtodowithhim。HowwellheknewHermione,asshesatthere,erectandsilentandsomewhatbemused,andyetsopotent,sopowerful! Heknewherstatically,sofinally,thatitwasalmostlikeamadness。 Itwasdifficulttobelieveonewasnotmad,thatonewasnotafigureinthehallofkingsinsomeEgyptiantomb,wherethedeadallsatimmemorialandtremendous。HowutterlyheknewJoshuaMattheson,whowastalkinginhisharsh,yetrathermincingvoice,endlessly,endlessly,alwayswithastrongmentalityworking,alwaysinteresting,andyetalwaysknown,everythinghesaidknownbeforehand,howevernovelitwas,andclever。Alexandertheup—to—datehost,sobloodlesslyfree—and—easy,Frauleinsoprettilychiminginjustassheshould,thelittleItalianCountesstakingnoticeofeverybody,onlyplayingherlittlegame,objectiveandcold,likeaweaselwatchingeverything,andextractingherownamusement,nevergivingherselfintheslightest;thenMissBradley,heavyandrathersubservient,treatedwithcool,almostamusedcontemptbyHermione,andthereforeslightedbyeverybody——howknownitallwas,likeagamewiththefiguressetout,thesamefigures,theQueenofchess,theknights,thepawns,thesamenowastheywerehundredsofyearsago,thesamefiguresmovingroundinoneoftheinnumerablepermutationsthatmakeupthegame。Butthegameisknown,itsgoingonislikeamadness,itissoexhausted。 TherewasGerald,anamusedlookonhisface;thegamepleasedhim。 TherewasGudrun,watchingwithsteady,large,hostileeyes;thegamefascinatedher,andsheloathedit。TherewasUrsula,withaslightlystartledlookonherface,asifshewerehurt,andthepainwerejustoutsideherconsciousness。 SuddenlyBirkingotupandwentout。 `That\'senough,\'hesaidtohimselfinvoluntarily。 Hermioneknewhismotion,thoughnotinherconsciousness。Sheliftedherheavyeyesandsawhimlapsesuddenlyaway,onasudden,unknowntide,andthewavesbrokeoverher。Onlyherindomitablewillremainedstaticandmechanical,shesatatthetablemakinghermusing,strayremarks。 Butthedarknesshadcoveredher,shewaslikeashipthathasgonedown。 Itwasfinishedforhertoo,shewaswreckedinthedarkness。Yettheunfailingmechanismofherwillworkedon,shehadthatactivity。 `Shallwebathethismorning?\'shesaid,suddenlylookingatthemall。 `Splendid,\'saidJoshua。`Itisaperfectmorning。\' `Oh,itisbeautiful,\'saidFraulein。 `Yes,letusbathe,\'saidtheItalianwoman。 `Wehavenobathingsuits,\'saidGerald。 `Havemine,\'saidAlexander。`Imustgotochurchandreadthelessons。 Theyexpectme。\' `AreyouaChristian?\'askedtheItalianCountess,withsuddeninterest。 `No,\'saidAlexander。`I\'mnot。ButIbelieveinkeepinguptheoldinstitutions。\' `Theyaresobeautiful,\'saidFrauleindaintily。 `Oh,theyare,\'criedMissBradley。 Theyalltrailedoutontothelawn。Itwasasunny,softmorninginearlysummer,whenliferanintheworldsubtly,likeareminiscence。Thechurchbellswereringingalittlewayoff,notacloudwasinthesky,theswanswerelikeliliesonthewaterbelow,thepeacockswalkedwithlong,prancingstepsacrosstheshadowandintothesunshineofthegrass。 Onewantedtoswoonintotheby—goneperfectionofitall。 `Good—bye,\'calledAlexander,wavinghisglovescheerily,andhedisappearedbehindthebushes,onhiswaytochurch。 `Now,\'saidHermione,`shallweallbathe?\' `Iwon\'t,\'saidUrsula。 `Youdon\'twantto?\'saidHermione,lookingatherslowly。 `No。Idon\'twantto,\'saidUrsula。 `NorI,\'saidGudrun。 `Whataboutmysuit?\'askedGerald。 `Idon\'tknow,\'laughedHermione,withanodd,amusedintonation。`Willahandkerchiefdo——alargehandkerchief?\' `Thatwilldo,\'saidGerald。 `Comealongthen,\'sangHermione。 ThefirsttorunacrossthelawnwasthelittleItalian,smallandlikeacat,herwhitelegstwinklingasshewent,duckingslightlyherhead,thatwastiedinagoldsilkkerchief。Shetrippedthroughthegateanddownthegrass,andstood,likeatinyfigureofivoryandbronze,atthewater\'sedge,havingdroppedoffhertowelling,watchingtheswans,whichcameupinsurprise。ThenoutranMissBradley,likealarge,softpluminherdark—bluesuit。ThenGeraldcame,ascarletsilkkerchiefroundhisloins,histowelsoverhisarms。Heseemedtoflaunthimselfalittleinthesun,lingeringandlaughing,strollingeasily,lookingwhitebutnaturalinhisnakedness。ThencameSirJoshua,inanovercoat,andlastlyHermione,stridingwithstiffgracefromoutofagreatmantleofpurplesilk,herheadtiedupinpurpleandgold。Handsomewasherstiff,longbody,herstraight—steppingwhitelegs,therewasastaticmagnificenceaboutherassheletthecloakfloatlooselyawayfromherstriding。Shecrossedthelawnlikesomestrangememory,andpassedslowlyandstatelilytowardsthewater。 Therewerethreeponds,interracesdescendingthevalley,largeandsmoothandbeautiful,lyinginthesun。Thewaterranoveralittlestonewall,oversmallrocks,splashingdownfromonepondtothelevelbelow。 Theswanshadgoneoutontotheoppositebank,thereedssmelledsweet,afaintbreezetouchedtheskin。 Geraldhaddivedin,afterSirJoshua,andhadswumtotheendofthepond。Thereheclimbedoutandsatonthewall。Therewasadive,andthelittleCountesswasswimminglikearat,tojoinhim。Theybothsatinthesun,laughingandcrossingtheirarmsontheirbreasts。SirJoshuaswamuptothem,andstoodnearthem,uptohisarm—pitsinthewater。 ThenHermioneandMissBradleyswamover,andtheysatinarowontheembankment。 `Aren\'ttheyterrifying?Aren\'ttheyreallyterrifying?\'saidGudrun。 `Don\'ttheylooksaurian?Theyarejustlikegreatlizards。DidyoueverseeanythinglikeSirJoshua?Butreally,Ursula,hebelongstotheprimevalworld,whengreatlizardscrawledabout。\' GudrunlookedindismayonSirJoshua,whostooduptothebreastinthewater,hislong,greyishhairwasheddownintohiseyes,hisnecksetintothick,crudeshoulders。HewastalkingtoMissBradley,who,seatedonthebankabove,plumpandbigandwet,lookedasifshemightrollandslitherinthewateralmostlikeoneoftheslitheringsealionsintheZoo。 Ursulawatchedinsilence。Geraldwaslaughinghappily,betweenHermioneandtheItalian。HeremindedherofDionysos,becausehishairwasreallyyellow,hisfiguresofullandlaughing。Hermione,inherlarge,stiff,sinistergrace,leanednearhim,frightening,asifshewerenotresponsibleforwhatshemightdo。Heknewacertaindangerinher,aconvulsivemadness。 Butheonlylaughedthemore,turningoftentothelittleCountess,whowasflashingupherfaceathim。 Theyalldroppedintothewater,andwereswimmingtogetherlikeashoalofseals。Hermionewaspowerfulandunconsciousinthewater,largeandslowandpowerful。Palestrawasquickandsilentasawaterrat,Geraldwaveredandflickered,awhitenaturalshadow。Then,oneaftertheother,theywadedout,andwentuptothehouse。 ButGeraldlingeredamomenttospeaktoGudrun。 `Youdon\'tlikethewater?\'hesaid。 Shelookedathimwithalong,slowinscrutablelook,ashestoodbeforehernegligently,thewaterstandinginbeadsalloverhisskin。 `Ilikeitverymuch,\'shereplied。 Hepaused,expectingsomesortofexplanation。 `Andyouswim?\' `Yes,Iswim。\' Stillhewouldnotaskherwhyshewouldnotgointhen。Hecouldfeelsomethingironicinher。Hewalkedaway,piquedforthefirsttime。 `Whywouldn\'tyoubathe?\'heaskedheragain,later,whenhewasoncemoretheproperly—dressedyoungEnglishman。 Shehesitatedamomentbeforeanswering,opposinghispersistence。 `BecauseIdidn\'tlikethecrowd,\'shereplied。 Helaughed,herphraseseemedtore—echoinhisconsciousness。Theflavourofherslangwaspiquanttohim。Whetherhewouldornot,shesignifiedtherealworldtohim。Hewantedtocomeuptoherstandards,fulfilherexpectations。Heknewthathercriterionwastheonlyonethatmattered。 Theotherswerealloutsiders,instinctively,whatevertheymightbesocially。 AndGeraldcouldnothelpit,hewasboundtostrivetocomeuptohercriterion,fulfilherideaofamanandahuman—being。 Afterlunch,whenalltheothershadwithdrawn,HermioneandGeraldandBirkinlingered,finishingtheirtalk。Therehadbeensomediscussion,onthewholequiteintellectualandartificial,aboutanewstate,anewworldofman。Supposingthisoldsocialstatewerebrokenanddestroyed,then,outofthechaos,whatthen? Thegreatsocialidea,saidSirJoshua,wasthesocialequalityofman。No,saidGerald,theideawas,thateverymanwasfitforhisownlittlebitofatask——lethimdothat,andthenpleasehimself。Theunifyingprinciplewastheworkinhand。Onlywork,thebusinessofproduction,heldmentogether。Itwasmechanical,butthensocietywasamechanism。 Apartfromworktheywereisolated,freetodoastheyliked。 `Oh!\'criedGudrun。`Thenweshan\'thavenamesanymore——weshallbeliketheGermans,nothingbutHerrObermeisterandHerrUntermeister。 Icanimagineit——\"IamMrsColliery—ManagerCrich——IamMrsMember—of—ParliamentRoddice。IamMissArt—TeacherBrangwen。\"Veryprettythat。\' `Thingswouldworkverymuchbetter,MissArt—TeacherBrangwen,\'saidGerald。 `Whatthings,MrColliery—ManagerCrich?Therelationbetweenyouandme,parexemple?\' `Yes,forexample,\'criedtheItalian。`Thatwhichisbetweenmenandwomen——!\' `Thatisnon—social,\'saidBirkin,sarcastically。 `Exactly,\'saidGerald。`Betweenmeandawoman,thesocialquestiondoesnotenter。Itismyownaffair。\' `Aten—poundnoteonit,\'saidBirkin。 `Youdon\'tadmitthatawomanisasocialbeing?\'askedUrsulaofGerald。 `Sheisboth,\'saidGerald。`Sheisasocialbeing,asfarassocietyisconcerned。Butforherownprivateself,sheisafreeagent,itisherownaffair,whatshedoes。\' `Butwon\'titberatherdifficulttoarrangethetwohalves?\'askedUrsula。 `Ohno,\'repliedGerald。`Theyarrangethemselvesnaturally——weseeitnow,everywhere。\' `Don\'tyoulaughsopleasantlytillyou\'reoutofthewood,\'saidBirkin。 Geraldknittedhisbrowsinmomentaryirritation。 `WasIlaughing?\'hesaid。 `If,\'saidHermioneatlast,`wecouldonlyrealise,thatinthespiritweareallone,allequalinthespirit,allbrothersthere——therestwouldn\'tmatter,therewouldbenomoreofthiscarpingandenvyandthisstruggleforpower,whichdestroys,onlydestroys。\' Thisspeechwasreceivedinsilence,andalmostimmediatelythepartyrosefromthetable。Butwhentheothershadgone,Birkinturnedroundinbitterdeclamation,saying: `Itisjusttheopposite,justthecontrary,Hermione。Wearealldifferentandunequalinspirit——itisonlythesocialdifferencesthatarebasedonaccidentalmaterialconditions。Weareallabstractlyormathematicallyequal,ifyoulike。Everymanhashungerandthirst,twoeyes,onenoseandtwolegs。We\'reallthesameinpointofnumber。Butspiritually,thereispuredifferenceandneitherequalitynorinequalitycounts。Itisuponthesetwobitsofknowledgethatyoumustfoundastate。Yourdemocracyisanabsolutelie——yourbrotherhoodofmanisapurefalsity,ifyouapplyitfurtherthanthemathematicalabstraction。Wealldrankmilkfirst,wealleatbreadandmeat,weallwanttorideinmotor—cars——thereinliesthebeginningandtheendofthebrotherhoodofman。Butnoequality。 `ButI,myself,whoammyself,whathaveItodowithequalitywithanyothermanorwoman?Inthespirit,Iamasseparateasonestarisfromanother,asdifferentinqualityandquantity。Establishastateonthat。Onemanisn\'tanybetterthananother,notbecausetheyareequal,butbecausetheyareintrinsicallyother,thatthereisnotermofcomparison。Theminuteyoubegintocompare,onemanisseentobefarbetterthananother,alltheinequalityyoucanimagineistherebynature。Iwanteverymantohavehisshareintheworld\'sgoods,sothatIamridofhisimportunity,sothatIcantellhim:\"Nowyou\'vegotwhatyouwant——you\'vegotyourfairshareoftheworld\'sgear。Now,youone—mouthedfool,mindyourselfanddon\'tobstructme。\' Hermionewaslookingathimwithleeringeyes,alonghercheeks。Hecouldfeelviolentwavesofhatredandloathingofallhesaid,comingoutofher。Itwasdynamichatredandloathing,comingstrongandblackoutoftheunconsciousness。Sheheardhiswordsinherunconsciousself,consciouslyshewasasifdeafened,shepaidnoheedtothem。 `Itsoundslikemegalomania,Rupert,\'saidGerald,genially。 Hermionegaveaqueer,gruntingsound。Birkinstoodback。 `Yes,letit,\'hesaidsuddenly,thewholetonegoneoutofhisvoice,thathadbeensoinsistent,bearingeverybodydown。Andhewentaway。 Buthefelt,later,alittlecompunction。Hehadbeenviolent,cruelwithpoorHermione。Hewantedtorecompenseher,tomakeitup。Hehadhurther,hehadbeenvindictive。Hewantedtobeongoodtermswithheragain。 Hewentintoherboudoir,aremoteandverycushionyplace。Shewassittingathertablewritingletters。Sheliftedherfaceabstractedlywhenheentered,watchedhimgotothesofa,andsitdown。Thenshelookeddownatherpaperagain。 Hetookupalargevolumewhichhehadbeenreadingbefore,andbecameminutelyattentivetohisauthor。HisbackwastowardsHermione。Shecouldnotgoonwithherwriting。Herwholemindwasachaos,darknessbreakinginuponit,andherselfstrugglingtogaincontrolwithherwill,asaswimmerstruggleswiththeswirlingwater。Butinspiteofhereffortsshewasbornedown,darknessseemedtobreakoverher,shefeltasifherheartwasbursting。Theterribletensiongrewstrongerandstronger,itwasmostfearfulagony,likebeingwalledup。 Andthensherealisedthathispresencewasthewall,hispresencewasdestroyingher。Unlessshecouldbreakout,shemustdiemostfearfully,walledupinhorror。Andhewasthewall。Shemustbreakdownthewall——shemustbreakhimdownbeforeher,theawfulobstructionofhimwhoobstructedherlifetothelast。Itmustbedone,orshemustperishmosthorribly。 Terriblyshocksranoverherbody,likeshocksofelectricity,asifmanyvoltsofelectricitysuddenlystruckherdown。Shewasawareofhimsittingsilentlythere,anunthinkableevilobstruction。Onlythisblottedouthermind,pressedoutherverybreathing,hissilent,stoopingback,thebackofhishead。 Aterriblevoluptuousthrillrandownherarms——shewasgoingtoknowhervoluptuousconsummation。Herarmsquiveredandwerestrong,immeasurablyandirresistiblystrong。Whatdelight,whatdelightinstrength,whatdeliriumofpleasure!Shewasgoingtohaveherconsummationofvoluptuousecstasyatlast。Itwascoming!Inutmostterrorandagony,sheknewitwasuponhernow,inextremityofbliss。Herhandclosedonablue,beautifulballoflapislazulithatstoodonherdeskforapaper—weight。Sherolleditroundinherhandassherosesilently。Herheartwasapureflameinherbreast,shewaspurelyunconsciousinecstasy。Shemovedtowardshimandstoodbehindhimforamomentinecstasy。He,closedwithinthespell,remainedmotionlessandunconscious。