第8章

类别:其他 作者:Sherwood Anderson字数:18633更新时间:18/12/14 16:11:44
Yougetoutofhere!\" Thetravelingmanleft。Rakingthesamplesofcol- larfastenersoffthecounterintoablackleatherbag,heran。Hewasasmallmanandverybow-leggedandheranawkwardly。Theblackbagcaughtagainstthedoorandhestumbledandfell。\"Crazy,that\'swhatheis——crazy!\"hesputteredashearosefromthesidewalkandhurriedaway。 InthestoreElmerCowleyandhisfatherstaredateachother。Nowthattheimmediateobjectofhiswrathhadfled,theyoungermanwasembarrassed。 \"Well,Imeantit。Ithinkwe\'vebeenqueerlongenough,\"hedeclared,goingtotheshowcaseandreplacingtherevolver。Sittingonabarrelhepulledonandfastenedtheshoehehadbeenholdinginhishand。Hewaswaitingforsomewordofunder- standingfromhisfatherbutwhenEbenezerspokehiswordsonlyservedtoreawakenthewrathinthesonandtheyoungmanranoutofthestorewithoutreplying。Scratchinghisgreybeardwithhislongdirtyfingers,themerchantlookedathissonwiththesamewaveringuncertainstarewithwhichhehadconfrontedthetravelingman。\"I\'llbestarched,\" hesaidsoftly。\"Well,well,I\'llbewashedandironedandstarched!\" ElmerCowleywentoutofWinesburgandalongacountryroadthatparalleledtherailroadtrack。Hedidnotknowwherehewasgoingorwhathewasgoingtodo。Intheshelterofadeepcutwheretheroad,afterturningsharplytotheright,dippedunderthetrackshestoppedandthepassionthathadbeenthecauseofhisoutburstinthestorebegantoagainfindexpression。\"Iwillnotbequeer——onetobelookedatandlistenedto,\"hedeclaredaloud。 \"I\'llbelikeotherpeople。I\'llshowthatGeorgeWil- lard。He\'llfindout。I\'llshowhim!\" Thedistraughtyoungmanstoodinthemiddleoftheroadandglaredbackatthetown。HedidnotknowthereporterGeorgeWillardandhadnospe- cialfeelingconcerningthetallboywhoranabouttowngatheringthetownnews。Thereporterhadmerelycome,byhispresenceintheofficeandintheprintshopoftheWinesburgEagle,tostandforsomethingintheyoungmerchant\'smind。HethoughttheboywhopassedandrepassedCowley&Son\'sstoreandwhostoppedtotalktopeopleinthestreetmustbethinkingofhimandperhapslaughingathim。GeorgeWillard,hefelt,belongedtothetown,typifiedthetown,representedinhispersonthespiritofthetown。ElmerCowleycouldnothavebelievedthatGeorgeWillardhadalsohisdaysofunhappiness,thatvaguehungersandsecretunnam- abledesiresvisitedalsohismind。Didhenotrepre- sentpublicopinionandhadnotthepublicopinionofWinesburgcondemnedtheCowleystoqueerness? DidhenotwalkwhistlingandlaughingthroughMainStreet?Mightnotonebystrikinghispersonstrikealsothegreaterenemy——thethingthatsmiledandwentitsownway——thejudgmentofWinesburg? ElmerCowleywasextraordinarilytallandhisarmswerelongandpowerful。Hishair,hiseye- brows,andthedownybeardthathadbeguntogrowuponhischin,werepalealmosttowhiteness。 Histeethprotrudedfrombetweenhislipsandhiseyeswerebluewiththecolorlessbluenessofthemarblescalled\"aggies\"thattheboysofWinesburgcarriedintheirpockets。ElmerhadlivedinWines- burgforayearandhadmadenofriends。Hewas,hefelt,onecondemnedtogothroughlifewithoutfriendsandhehatedthethought。 Sullenlythetallyoungmantrampedalongtheroadwithhishandsstuffedintohistrouserpockets。 Thedaywascoldwitharawwind,butpresentlythesunbegantoshineandtheroadbecamesoftandmuddy。ThetopsoftheridgesoffrozenmudthatformedtheroadbegantomeltandthemudclungtoElmer\'sshoes。Hisfeetbecamecold。Whenhehadgoneseveralmilesheturnedofftheroad,crossedafieldandenteredawood。Inthewoodhegatheredstickstobuildafire,bywhichhesattryingtowarmhimself,miserableinbodyandinmind。 Fortwohourshesatonthelogbythefireandthen,arisingandcreepingcautiouslythroughamassofunderbrush,hewenttoafenceandlookedacrossfieldstoasmallfarmhousesurroundedbylowsheds。Asmilecametohislipsandhebeganmakingmotionswithhislongarmstoamanwhowashuskingcorninoneofthefields。 Inhishourofmiserytheyoungmerchanthadreturnedtothefarmwherehehadlivedthroughboyhoodandwheretherewasanotherhumanbeingtowhomhefelthecouldexplainhimself。Themanonthefarmwasahalf-wittedoldfellownamedMook。HehadoncebeenemployedbyEbenezerCowleyandhadstayedonthefarmwhenitwassold。Theoldmanlivedinoneoftheunpaintedshedsbackofthefarmhouseandputteredaboutalldayinthefields。 Mookthehalf-witlivedhappily。Withchildlikefaithhebelievedintheintelligenceoftheanimalsthatlivedintheshedswithhim,andwhenhewaslonelyheldlongconversationswiththecows,thepigs,andevenwiththechickensthatranaboutthebarnyard。Heitwaswhohadputtheexpressionregardingbeing\"laundered\"intothemouthofhisformeremployer。Whenexcitedorsurprisedbyany- thinghesmiledvaguelyandmuttered:\"I\'llbewashedandironed。Well,well,I\'llbewashedandironedandstarched。\" Whenthehalf-wittedoldmanlefthishuskingofcornandcameintothewoodtomeetElmerCowley,hewasneithersurprisednorespeciallyinterestedinthesuddenappearanceoftheyoungman。Hisfeetalsowerecoldandhesatonthelogbythefire,gratefulforthewarmthandapparentlyindifferenttowhatElmerhadtosay。 Elmertalkedearnestlyandwithgreatfreedom,walkingupanddownandwavinghisarmsabout。 \"Youdon\'tunderstandwhat\'sthematterwithmesoofcourseyoudon\'tcare,\"hedeclared。\"Withmeit\'sdifferent。Lookhowithasalwaysbeenwithme。 Fatherisqueerandmotherwasqueer,too。Eventheclothesmotherusedtowearwerenotlikeotherpeople\'sclothes,andlookatthatcoatinwhichfa- thergoesaboutthereintown,thinkinghe\'sdressedup,too。Whydon\'thegetanewone?Itwouldn\'tcostmuch。I\'lltellyouwhy。Fatherdoesn\'tknowandwhenmotherwasaliveshedidn\'tknoweither。 Mabelisdifferent。Sheknowsbutshewon\'tsayanything。Iwill,though。I\'mnotgoingtobestaredatanylonger。Whylookhere,Mook,fatherdoesn\'tknowthathisstorethereintownisjustaqueerjumble,thathe\'llneversellthestuffhebuys。Heknowsnothingaboutit。Sometimeshe\'salittlewor- riedthattradedoesn\'tcomeandthenhegoesandbuyssomethingelse。Intheeveningshesitsbythefireupstairsandsaystradewillcomeafterawhile。 Heisn\'tworried。He\'squeer。Hedoesn\'tknowenoughtobeworried。\" Theexcitedyoungmanbecamemoreexcited。\"Hedon\'tknowbutIknow,\"heshouted,stoppingtogazedownintothedumb,unresponsivefaceofthehalf-wit。\"Iknowtoowell。Ican\'tstandit。Whenwelivedouthereitwasdifferent。IworkedandatnightIwenttobedandslept。Iwasn\'talwaysseeingpeopleandthinkingasIamnow。Intheevening,thereintown,Igotothepostofficeortothedepottoseethetraincomein,andnoonesaysanythingtome。Everyonestandsaroundandlaughsandtheytalkbuttheysaynothingtome。ThenIfeelsoqueerthatIcan\'ttalkeither。Igoaway。Idon\'tsayany- thing。Ican\'t。\" Thefuryoftheyoungmanbecameuncontrollable。 \"Iwon\'tstandit,\"heyelled,lookingupatthebarebranchesofthetrees。\"I\'mnotmadetostandit。\" Maddenedbythedullfaceofthemanonthelogbythefire,ElmerturnedandglaredathimashehadglaredbackalongtheroadatthetownofWinesburg。\"Goonbacktowork,\"hescreamed。 \"Whatgooddoesitdometotalktoyou?\"A thoughtcametohimandhisvoicedropped。\"I\'macowardtoo,eh?\"hemuttered。\"DoyouknowwhyIcameclearouthereafoot?IhadtotellsomeoneandyouweretheonlyoneIcouldtell。Ihuntedoutanotherqueerone,yousee。Iranaway,that\'swhatI did。Icouldn\'tstanduptosomeonelikethatGeorgeWillard。Ihadtocometoyou。IoughttotellhimandIwill。\" Againhisvoicearosetoashoutandhisarmsflewabout。\"Iwilltellhim。Iwon\'tbequeer。Idon\'tcarewhattheythink。Iwon\'tstandit。\" ElmerCowleyranoutofthewoodsleavingthehalf-witsittingonthelogbeforethefire。Presentlytheoldmanaroseandclimbingoverthefencewentbacktohisworkinthecorn。\"I\'llbewashedandironedandstarched,\"hedeclared。\"Well,well,I\'llbewashedandironed。\"Mookwasinterested。Hewentalongalanetoafieldwheretwocowsstoodnibblingatastrawstack。\"Elmerwashere,\"hesaidtothecows。\"Elmeriscrazy。Youbettergetbehindthestackwherehedon\'tseeyou。He\'llhurtsome- oneyet,Elmerwill。\" Ateighto\'clockthateveningElmerCowleyputhisheadinatthefrontdooroftheofficeoftheWinesburgEaglewhereGeorgeWillardsatwriting。 Hiscapwaspulleddownoverhiseyesandasullendeterminedlookwasonhisface。\"Youcomeonout- sidewithme,\"hesaid,steppinginandclosingthedoor。Hekepthishandontheknobasthoughpre- paredtoresistanyoneelsecomingin。\"Youjustcomealongoutside。Iwanttoseeyou。\" GeorgeWillardandElmerCowleywalkedthroughthemainstreetofWinesburg。ThenightwascoldandGeorgeWillardhadonanewovercoatandlookedveryspruceanddressedup。Hethrusthishandsintotheovercoatpocketsandlookedinquir- inglyathiscompanion。Hehadlongbeenwantingtomakefriendswiththeyoungmerchantandfindoutwhatwasinhismind。Nowhethoughthesawachanceandwasdelighted。\"Iwonderwhathe\'supto?Perhapshethinkshehasapieceofnewsforthepaper。Itcan\'tbeafirebecauseIhaven\'theardthefirebellandthereisn\'tanyonerunning,\"hethought。 InthemainstreetofWinesburg,onthecoldNo- vemberevening,butfewcitizensappearedandthesehurriedalongbentongettingtothestoveatthebackofsomestore。ThewindowsofthestoreswerefrostedandthewindrattledthetinsignthathungovertheentrancetothestairwayleadingtoDoctorWelling\'soffice。BeforeHern\'sGroceryabas- ketofapplesandarackfilledwithnewbroomsstoodonthesidewalk。ElmerCowleystoppedandstoodfacingGeorgeWillard。Hetriedtotalkandhisarmsbegantopumpupanddown。Hisfaceworkedspasmodically。Heseemedabouttoshout。\"Oh,yougoonback,\"hecried。\"Don\'tstayoutherewithme。Iain\'tgotanythingtotellyou。Idon\'twanttoseeyouatall。\" ForthreehoursthedistractedyoungmerchantwanderedthroughtheresidentstreetsofWinesburgblindwithanger,broughtonbyhisfailuretodeclarehisdeterminationnottobequeer。Bitterlythesenseofdefeatsettleduponhimandhewantedtoweep。 Afterthehoursoffutilesputteringatnothingnessthathadoccupiedtheafternoonandhisfailureinthepresenceoftheyoungreporter,hethoughthecouldseenohopeofafutureforhimself。 Andthenanewideadawnedforhim。Inthedark- nessthatsurroundedhimhebegantoseealight。 Goingtothenowdarkenedstore,whereCowley& Sonhadforoverayearwaitedvainlyfortradetocome,hecreptstealthilyinandfeltaboutinabarrelthatstoodbythestoveattherear。InthebarrelbeneathshavingslayatinboxcontainingCowley& Son\'scash。EveryeveningEbenezerCowleyputtheboxinthebarrelwhenheclosedthestoreandwentupstairstobed。\"Theywouldn\'tneverthinkofacarelessplacelikethat,\"hetoldhimself,thinkingofrobbers。 Elmertooktwentydollars,twoten-dollarbills,fromthelittlerollcontainingperhapsfourhundreddollars,thecashleftfromthesaleofthefarm。Thenreplacingtheboxbeneaththeshavingshewentqui- etlyoutatthefrontdoorandwalkedagaininthestreets。 Theideathathethoughtmightputanendtoallofhisunhappinesswasverysimple。\"Iwillgetoutofhere,runawayfromhome,\"hetoldhimself。HeknewthatalocalfreighttrainpassedthroughWinesburgatmidnightandwentontoCleveland,whereitarrivedatdawn。HewouldstealarideonthelocalandwhenhegottoClevelandwouldlosehimselfinthecrowdsthere。Hewouldgetworkinsomeshopandbecomefriendswiththeotherworkmenandwouldbeindistinguishable。Thenhecouldtalkandlaugh。Hewouldnolongerbequeerandwouldmakefriends。Lifewouldbegintohavewarmthandmeaningforhimasithadforothers。 Thetallawkwardyoungman,stridingthroughthestreets,laughedathimselfbecausehehadbeenangryandhadbeenhalfafraidofGeorgeWillard。 Hedecidedhewouldhavehistalkwiththeyoungreporterbeforehelefttown,thathewouldtellhimaboutthings,perhapschallengehim,challengeallofWinesburgthroughhim。 AglowwithnewconfidenceElmerwenttotheofficeoftheNewWillardHouseandpoundedonthedoor。Asleep-eyedboysleptonacotintheoffice。Hereceivednosalarybutwasfedatthehoteltableandborewithpridethetitleof\"nightclerk。\" BeforetheboyElmerwasbold,insistent。\"You\'wakehimup,\"hecommanded。\"Youtellhimtocomedownbythedepot。IgottoseehimandI\'mgoingawayonthelocal。Tellhimtodressandcomeondown。Iain\'tgotmuchtime。\" ThemidnightlocalhadfinisheditsworkinWines- burgandthetrainsmenwerecouplingcars,swing- inglanternsandpreparingtoresumetheirflighteast。GeorgeWillard,rubbinghiseyesandagainwearingthenewovercoat,randowntothestationplatformafirewithcuriosity。\"Well,hereIam。Whatdoyouwant?You\'vegotsomethingtotellme,eh?\" hesaid。 Elmertriedtoexplain。Hewethislipswithhistongueandlookedatthetrainthathadbeguntogroanandgetunderway。\"Well,yousee,\"hebegan,andthenlostcontrolofhistongue。\"I\'llbewashedandironed。I\'llbewashedandironedandstarched,\"hemutteredhalfincoherently。 ElmerCowleydancedwithfurybesidethegroan- ingtraininthedarknessonthestationplatform。 Lightsleapedintotheairandbobbedupanddownbeforehiseyes。Takingthetwoten-dollarbillsfromhispockethethrustthemintoGeorgeWillard\'shand。\"Takethem,\"hecried。\"Idon\'twantthem。 Givethemtofather。Istolethem。\"Withasnarlofrageheturnedandhislongarmsbegantoflaytheair。Likeonestrugglingforreleasefromhandsthatheldhimhestruckout,hittingGeorgeWillardblowafterblowonthebreast,theneck,themouth。Theyoungreporterrolledoverontheplatformhalfun- conscious,stunnedbytheterrificforceoftheblows。 Springingaboardthepassingtrainandrunningoverthetopsofcars,Elmersprangdowntoaflatcarandlyingonhisfacelookedback,tryingtoseethefallenmaninthedarkness。Pridesurgedupinhim。\"I showedhim,\"hecried。\"IguessIshowedhim。I ain\'tsoqueer。IguessIshowedhimIain\'tsoqueer。\" THEUNTOLDLIE RAYPEARSONandHalWinterswerefarmhandsem- ployedonafarmthreemilesnorthofWinesburg。 OnSaturdayafternoonstheycameintotownandwanderedaboutthroughthestreetswithotherfel- lowsfromthecountry。 Raywasaquiet,rathernervousmanofperhapsfiftywithabrownbeardandshouldersroundedbytoomuchandtoohardlabor。InhisnaturehewasasunlikeHalWintersastwomencanbeunlike。 Raywasanaltogetherseriousmanandhadalittlesharp-featuredwifewhohadalsoasharpvoice。Thetwo,withhalfadozenthin-leggedchildren,livedinatumble-downframehousebesideacreekatthebackendoftheWillsfarmwhereRaywasemployed。 HalWinters,hisfellowemployee,wasayoungfellow。HewasnotoftheNedWintersfamily,whowereveryrespectablepeopleinWinesburg,butwasoneofthethreesonsoftheoldmancalledWind- peterWinterswhohadasawmillnearUnionville,sixmilesaway,andwhowaslookeduponbyevery- oneinWinesburgasaconfirmedoldreprobate。 PeoplefromthepartofNorthernOhioinwhichWinesburglieswillrememberoldWindpeterbyhisunusualandtragicdeath。HegotdrunkoneeveningintownandstartedtodrivehometoUnionvillealongtherailroadtracks。HenryBrattenburg,thebutcher,wholivedoutthatway,stoppedhimattheedgeofthetownandtoldhimhewassuretomeetthedowntrainbutWindpeterslashedathimwithhiswhipanddroveon。Whenthetrainstruckandkilledhimandhistwohorsesafarmerandhiswifewhoweredrivinghomealonganearbyroadsawtheaccident。TheysaidthatoldWindpeterstoodupontheseatofhiswagon,ravingandswearingattheonrushinglocomotive,andthathefairlyscreamedwithdelightwhentheteam,maddenedbyhisinces- santslashingatthem,rushedstraightaheadtocer- taindeath。BoyslikeyoungGeorgeWillardandSethRichmondwillremembertheincidentquitevividlybecause,althougheveryoneinourtownsaidthattheoldmanwouldgostraighttohellandthatthecommunitywasbetteroffwithouthim,theyhadasecretconvictionthatheknewwhathewasdoingandadmiredhisfoolishcourage。Mostboyshaveseasonsofwishingtheycoulddiegloriouslyinsteadofjustbeinggroceryclerksandgoingonwiththeirhumdrumlives。 ButthisisnotthestoryofWindpeterWintersnoryetofhissonHalwhoworkedontheWillsfarmwithRayPearson。ItisRay\'sstory。Itwill,however,benecessarytotalkalittleofyoungHalsothatyouwillgetintothespiritofit。 Halwasabadone。Everyonesaidthat。TherewerethreeoftheWintersboysinthatfamily,John,Hal,andEdward,allbroad-shoulderedbigfellowslikeoldWindpeterhimselfandallfightersandwoman-chasersandgenerallyall-aroundbadones。 Halwastheworstofthelotandalwaysuptosomedevilment。Heoncestolealoadofboardsfromhisfather\'smillandsoldtheminWinesburg。Withthemoneyheboughthimselfasuitofcheap,flashyclothes。Thenhegotdrunkandwhenhisfathercameravingintotowntofindhim,theymetandfoughtwiththeirfistsonMainStreetandwerear- restedandputintojailtogether。 HalwenttoworkontheWillsfarmbecausetherewasacountryschoolteacheroutthatwaywhohadtakenhisfancy。Hewasonlytwenty-twothenbuthadalreadybeenintwoorthreeofwhatwerespo- kenofinWinesburgas\"womenscrapes。\"Everyonewhoheardofhisinfatuationfortheschoolteacherwassureitwouldturnoutbadly。\"He\'llonlygetherintotrouble,you\'llsee,\"wasthewordthatwentaround。 Andsothesetwomen,RayandHal,wereatworkinafieldonadayinthelateOctober。Theywerehuskingcornandoccasionallysomethingwassaidandtheylaughed。Thencamesilence。Ray,whowasthemoresensitiveandalwaysmindedthingsmore,hadchappedhandsandtheyhurt。Heputthemintohiscoatpocketsandlookedawayacrossthefields。 Hewasinasad,distractedmoodandwasaffectedbythebeautyofthecountry。IfyouknewtheWinesburgcountryinthefallandhowthelowhillsareallsplashedwithyellowsandredsyouwouldunderstandhisfeeling。Hebegantothinkofthetime,longagowhenhewasayoungfellowlivingwithhisfather,thenabakerinWinesburg,andhowonsuchdayshehadwanderedawayintothewoodstogathernuts,huntrabbits,orjusttoloafaboutandsmokehispipe。Hismarriagehadcomeaboutthroughoneofhisdaysofwandering。Hehadin- ducedagirlwhowaitedontradeinhisfather\'sshoptogowithhimandsomethinghadhappened。Hewasthinkingofthatafternoonandhowithadaf- fectedhiswholelifewhenaspiritofprotestawokeinhim。HehadforgottenaboutHalandmutteredwords。\"TrickedbyGad,that\'swhatIwas,trickedbylifeandmadeafoolof,\"hesaidinalowvoice。 Asthoughunderstandinghisthoughts,HalWin- tersspokeup。\"Well,hasitbeenworthwhile?Whataboutit,eh?Whataboutmarriageandallthat?\"heaskedandthenlaughed。Haltriedtokeeponlaugh- ingbuthetoowasinanearnestmood。Hebegantotalkearnestly。\"Hasafellowgottodoit?\"heasked。\"Hashegottobeharnessedupanddriventhroughlifelikeahorse?\" Haldidn\'twaitforananswerbutsprangtohisfeetandbegantowalkbackandforthbetweenthecornshocks。Hewasgettingmoreandmoreexcited。 Bendingdownsuddenlyhepickedupanearoftheyellowcornandthrewitatthefence。\"I\'vegotNellGuntherintrouble,\"hesaid。\"I\'mtellingyou,butyoukeepyourmouthshut。\" RayPearsonaroseandstoodstaring。Hewasal- mostafootshorterthanHal,andwhentheyoungermancameandputhistwohandsontheolderman\'sshoulderstheymadeapicture。Theretheystoodinthebigemptyfieldwiththequietcornshocksstand- inginrowsbehindthemandtheredandyellowhillsinthedistance,andfrombeingjusttwoindif- ferentworkmentheyhadbecomeallalivetoeachother。Halsenseditandbecausethatwashiswayhelaughed。\"Well,olddaddy,\"hesaidawkwardly,\"comeon,adviseme。I\'vegotNellintrouble。Per- hapsyou\'vebeeninthesamefixyourself。Iknowwhateveryonewouldsayistherightthingtodo,butwhatdoyousay?ShallImarryandsettledown? ShallIputmyselfintotheharnesstobewornoutlikeanoldhorse?Youknowme,Ray。Therecan\'tanyonebreakmebutIcanbreakmyself。ShallIdoitorshallItellNelltogotothedevil?Comeon,youtellme。Whateveryousay,Ray,I\'lldo。\" Raycouldn\'tanswer。HeshookHal\'shandslooseandturningwalkedstraightawaytowardthebarn。 Hewasasensitivemanandthereweretearsinhiseyes。HeknewtherewasonlyonethingtosaytoHalWinters,sonofoldWindpeterWinters,onlyonethingthatallhisowntrainingandallthebeliefsofthepeopleheknewwouldapprove,butforhislifehecouldn\'tsaywhatheknewheshouldsay。 Athalf-pastfourthatafternoonRaywasputteringaboutthebarnyardwhenhiswifecameupthelanealongthecreekandcalledhim。AfterthetalkwithHalhehadn\'treturnedtothecornfieldbutworkedaboutthebarn。HehadalreadydonetheeveningchoresandhadseenHal,dressedandreadyforaroisteringnightintown,comeoutofthefarmhouseandgointotheroad。Alongthepathtohisownhousehetrudgedbehindhiswife,lookingatthegroundandthinking。Hecouldn\'tmakeoutwhatwaswrong。Everytimeheraisedhiseyesandsawthebeautyofthecountryinthefailinglighthewantedtodosomethinghehadneverdonebefore,shoutorscreamorhithiswifewithhisfistsorsomethingequallyunexpectedandterrifying。Alongthepathhewentscratchinghisheadandtryingtomakeitout。Helookedhardathiswife\'sbackbutsheseemedallright。 Sheonlywantedhimtogointotownforgroceriesandassoonasshehadtoldhimwhatshewantedbegantoscold。\"You\'realwaysputtering,\"shesaid。 \"NowIwantyoutohustle。Thereisn\'tanythinginthehouseforsupperandyou\'vegottogettotownandbackinahurry。\" Raywentintohisownhouseandtookanovercoatfromahookbackofthedoor。Itwastornaboutthepocketsandthecollarwasshiny。Hiswifewentintothebedroomandpresentlycameoutwithasoiledclothinonehandandthreesilverdollarsintheother。Somewhereinthehouseachildweptbitterlyandadogthathadbeensleepingbythestovearoseandyawned。Againthewifescolded。\"Thechildrenwillcryandcry。Whyareyoualwaysputtering?\" sheasked。 Raywentoutofthehouseandclimbedthefenceintoafield。Itwasjustgrowingdarkandthescenethatlaybeforehimwaslovely。Allthelowhillswerewashedwithcolorandeventhelittleclustersofbushesinthecornersofthefenceswerealivewithbeauty。ThewholeworldseemedtoRayPearsontohavebecomealivewithsomethingjustasheandHalhadsuddenlybecomealivewhentheystoodinthecornfieldstatingintoeachother\'seyes。 ThebeautyofthecountryaboutWinesburgwastoomuchforRayonthatfallevening。Thatisalltherewastoit。Hecouldnotstandit。Ofasuddenheforgotallaboutbeingaquietoldfarmhandandthrowingoffthetornovercoatbegantorunacrossthefield。Asheranheshoutedaprotestagainsthislife,againstalllife,againsteverythingthatmakeslifeugly。\"Therewasnopromisemade,\"hecriedintotheemptyspacesthatlayabouthim。\"Ididn\'tpromisemyMinnieanythingandHalhasn\'tmadeanypromisetoNell。Iknowhehasn\'t。Shewentintothewoodswithhimbecauseshewantedtogo。 Whathewantedshewanted。WhyshouldIpay? WhyshouldHalpay?Whyshouldanyonepay?I don\'twantHaltobecomeoldandwornout。I\'lltellhim。Iwon\'tletitgoon。I\'llcatchHalbeforehegetstotownandI\'lltellhim。\" Rayranclumsilyandoncehestumbledandfelldown。\"ImustcatchHalandtellhim,\"hekeptthinking,andalthoughhisbreathcameingaspshekeptrunningharderandharder。Asheranhethoughtofthingsthathadn\'tcomeintohismindforyears——howatthetimehemarriedhehadplannedtogowesttohisuncleinPortland,Oregon——howhehadn\'twantedtobeafarmhand,buthadthoughtwhenhegotoutWesthewouldgotoseaandbeasailororgetajobonaranchandrideahorseintoWesterntowns,shoutingandlaughingandwakingthepeopleinthehouseswithhiswildcries。Thenasheranherememberedhischildrenandinfancyfelttheirhandsclutchingathim。AllofhisthoughtsofhimselfwereinvolvedwiththethoughtsofHalandhethoughtthechildrenwereclutchingattheyoungermanalso。\"Theyaretheaccidentsoflife,Hal,\"hecried。\"Theyarenotmineoryours。Ihadnothingtodowiththem。\" DarknessbegantospreadoverthefieldsasRayPearsonranonandon。Hisbreathcameinlittlesobs。WhenhecametothefenceattheedgeoftheroadandconfrontedHalWinters,alldressedupandsmokingapipeashewalkedjauntilyalong,hecouldnothavetoldwhathethoughtorwhathewanted。 RayPearsonlosthisnerveandthisisreallytheendofthestoryofwhathappenedtohim。Itwasalmostdarkwhenhegottothefenceandheputhishandsonthetopbarandstoodstaring。HalWintersjumpedaditchandcomingupclosetoRayputhishandsintohispocketsandlaughed。HeseemedtohavelosthisownsenseofwhathadhappenedinthecornfieldandwhenheputupastronghandandtookholdofthelapelofRay\'scoatheshooktheoldmanashemighthaveshakenadogthathadmisbehaved。 \"Youcametotellme,eh?\"hesaid。\"Well,nevermindtellingmeanything。I\'mnotacowardandI\'vealreadymadeupmymind。\"Helaughedagainandjumpedbackacrosstheditch。\"Nellain\'tnofool,\" hesaid。\"Shedidn\'taskmetomarryher。Iwanttomarryher。Iwanttosettledownandhavekids。\" RayPearsonalsolaughed。Hefeltlikelaughingathimselfandalltheworld。 AstheformofHalWintersdisappearedintheduskthatlayovertheroadthatledtoWinesburg,heturnedandwalkedslowlybackacrossthefieldstowherehehadlefthistornovercoat。Ashewentsomememoryofpleasanteveningsspentwiththethin-leggedchildreninthetumble-downhousebythecreekmusthavecomeintohismind,forhemut- teredwords。\"It\'sjustaswell。WhateverItoldhimwouldhavebeenalie,\"hesaidsoftly,andthenhisformalsodisappearedintothedarknessofthefields。 DRINK TOMFOSTERcametoWinesburgfromCincinnatiwhenhewasstillyoungandcouldgetmanynewimpressions。HisgrandmotherhadbeenraisedonafarmnearthetownandasayounggirlhadgonetoschooltherewhenWinesburgwasavillageoftwelveorfifteenhousesclusteredaboutageneralstoreontheTrunionPike。 Whatalifetheoldwomanhadledsinceshewentawayfromthefrontiersettlementandwhatastrong,capablelittleoldthingshewas!ShehadbeeninKansas,inCanada,andinNewYorkCity,travelingaboutwithherhusband,amechanic,be- forehedied。Latershewenttostaywithherdaughter,whohadalsomarriedamechanicandlivedinCovington,Kentucky,acrosstheriverfromCincinnati。 ThenbeganthehardyearsforTomFoster\'sgrandmother。Firstherson-in-lawwaskilledbyapolicemanduringastrikeandthenTom\'smotherbecameaninvalidanddiedalso。Thegrandmotherhadsavedalittlemoney,butitwassweptawaybytheillnessofthedaughterandbythecostofthetwofunerals。Shebecameahalfworn-outoldwomanworkerandlivedwiththegrandsonaboveajunkshoponasidestreetinCincinnati。Forfiveyearsshescrubbedthefloorsinanofficebuildingandthengotaplaceasdishwasherinarestaurant。 Herhandswerealltwistedoutofshape。Whenshetookholdofamoporabroomhandlethehandslookedlikethedriedstemsofanoldcreepingvineclingingtoatree。 TheoldwomancamebacktoWinesburgassoonasshegotthechance。Oneeveningasshewascom- inghomefromworkshefoundapocket-bookcon- tainingthirty-sevendollars,andthatopenedtheway。Thetripwasagreatadventurefortheboy。Itwaspastseveno\'clockatnightwhenthegrand- mothercamehomewiththepocket-bookheldtightlyinheroldhandsandshewassoexcitedshecouldscarcelyspeak。SheinsistedonleavingCincinnatithatnight,sayingthatiftheystayeduntilmorningtheownerofthemoneywouldbesuretofindthemoutandmaketrouble。Tom,whowasthensixteenyearsold,hadtogotrudgingofftothestationwiththeoldwoman,bearingalloftheirearthlybelong- ingsdoneupinaworn-outblanketandslungacrosshisback。Byhissidewalkedthegrandmotherurginghimforward。Hertoothlessoldmouthtwitchedner- vously,andwhenTomgrewwearyandwantedtoputthepackdownatastreetcrossing,shesnatcheditupandifhehadnotpreventedwouldhaveslungitacrossherownback。Whentheygotintothetrainandithadrunoutofthecityshewasasdelightedasagirlandtalkedastheboyhadneverheardhertalkbefore。 Allthroughthenightasthetrainrattledalong,thegrandmothertoldTomtalesofWinesburgandofhowhewouldenjoyhislifeworkinginthefieldsandshootingwildthingsinthewoodsthere。Shecouldnotbelievethatthetinyvillageoffiftyyearsbeforehadgrownintoathrivingtowninherab- sence,andinthemorningwhenthetraincametoWinesburgdidnotwanttogetoff。\"Itisn\'twhatI thought。Itmaybehardforyouhere,\"shesaid,andthenthetrainwentonitswayandthetwostoodconfused,notknowingwheretoturn,inthepres- enceofAlbertLongworth,theWinesburgbaggagemaster。 ButTomFosterdidgetalongallright。Hewasonetogetalonganywhere。Mrs。White,thebanker\'swife,employedhisgrandmothertoworkinthekitchenandhegotaplaceasstableboyinthebank- er\'snewbrickbarn。 InWinesburgservantswerehardtoget。Thewomanwhowantedhelpinherhouseworkem- ployeda\"hiredgirl\"whoinsistedonsittingatthetablewiththefamily。Mrs。Whitewassickofhiredgirlsandsnatchedatthechancetogetholdoftheoldcitywoman。ShefurnishedaroomfortheboyTomupstairsinthebarn。\"Hecanmowthelawnandrunerrandswhenthehorsesdonotneedatten- tion,\"sheexplainedtoherhusband。 TomFosterwasrathersmallforhisageandhadalargeheadcoveredwithstiffblackhairthatstoodstraightup。Thehairemphasizedthebignessofhishead。Hisvoicewasthesoftestthingimaginable,andhewashimselfsogentleandquietthatheslippedintothelifeofthetownwithoutattractingtheleastbitofattention。 OnecouldnothelpwonderingwhereTomFostergothisgentleness。InCincinnatihehadlivedinaneighborhoodwheregangsoftoughboysprowledthroughthestreets,andallthroughhisearlyforma- tiveyearsheranaboutwithtoughboys。Forawhilehewasamessengerforatelegraphcompanyanddeliveredmessagesinaneighborhoodsprinkledwithhousesofprostitution。ThewomeninthehousesknewandlovedTomFosterandthetoughboysinthegangslovedhimalso。 Heneverassertedhimself。Thatwasonethingthathelpedhimescape。Inanoddwayhestoodintheshadowofthewalloflife,wasmeanttostandintheshadow。Hesawthemenandwomeninthehousesoflust,sensedtheircasualandhorribleloveaffairs,sawboysfightingandlistenedtotheirtalesofthievinganddrunkenness,unmovedandstrangelyunaffected。 OnceTomdidsteal。Thatwaswhilehestilllivedinthecity。Thegrandmotherwasillatthetimeandhehimselfwasoutofwork。Therewasnothingtoeatinthehouse,andsohewentintoaharnessshoponasidestreetandstoleadollarandseventy-fivecentsoutofthecashdrawer。 Theharnessshopwasrunbyanoldmanwithalongmustache。Hesawtheboylurkingaboutandthoughtnothingofit。WhenhewentoutintothestreettotalktoateamsterTomopenedthecashdrawerandtakingthemoneywalkedaway。Laterhewascaughtandhisgrandmothersettledthemat- terbyofferingtocometwiceaweekforamonthandscrubtheshop。Theboywasashamed,buthewasratherglad,too。\"Itisallrighttobeashamedandmakesmeunderstandnewthings,\"hesaidtothegrandmother,whodidn\'tknowwhattheboywastalkingaboutbutlovedhimsomuchthatitdidn\'tmatterwhethersheunderstoodornot。 ForayearTomFosterlivedinthebanker\'sstableandthenlosthisplacethere。Hedidn\'ttakeverygoodcareofthehorsesandhewasaconstantsourceofirritationtothebanker\'swife。Shetoldhimtomowthelawnandheforgot。Thenshesenthimtothestoreortothepostofficeandhedidnotcomebackbutjoinedagroupofmenandboysandspentthewholeafternoonwiththem,standingabout,lis- teningandoccasionally,whenaddressed,sayingafewwords。Asinthecityinthehousesofprostitu- tionandwiththerowdyboysrunningthroughthestreetsatnight,soinWinesburgamongitscitizenshehadalwaysthepowertobeapartofandyetdistinctlyapartfromthelifeabouthim。 AfterTomlosthisplaceatBankerWhite\'shedidnotlivewithhisgrandmother,althoughoftenintheeveningshecametovisithim。HerentedaroomattherearofalittleframebuildingbelongingtooldRufusWhiting。ThebuildingwasonDuaneStreet,justoffMainStreet,andhadbeenusedforyearsasalawofficebytheoldman,whohadbecometoofeebleandforgetfulforthepracticeofhisprofessionbutdidnotrealizehisinefficiency。HelikedTomandlethimhavetheroomforadollaramonth。Inthelateafternoonwhenthelawyerhadgonehometheboyhadtheplacetohimselfandspenthourslyingonthefloorbythestoveandthinkingofthings。Intheeveningthegrandmothercameandsatinthelawyer\'schairtosmokeapipewhileTomremainedsilent,ashealways,didinthepresenceofeveryone。 Oftentheoldwomantalkedwithgreatvigor。 Sometimesshewasangryaboutsomehappeningatthebanker\'shouseandscoldedawayforhours。Outofherownearningssheboughtamopandregularlyscrubbedthelawyer\'soffice。ThenwhentheplacewasspotlesslycleanandsmelledcleanshelightedherclaypipeandsheandTomhadasmoketo- gether。\"WhenyougetreadytodiethenIwilldiealso,\"shesaidtotheboylyingonthefloorbesideherchair。 TomFosterenjoyedlifeinWinesburg。Hedidoddjobs,suchascuttingwoodforkitchenstovesandmowingthegrassbeforehouses。InlateMayandearlyJunehepickedstrawberriesinthefields。Hehadtimetoloafandheenjoyedloafing。BankerWhitehadgivenhimacast-offcoatwhichwastoolargeforhim,buthisgrandmothercutitdown,andhehadalsoanovercoat,gotatthesameplace,thatwaslinedwithfur。Thefurwaswornawayinspots,butthecoatwaswarmandinthewinterTomsleptinit。HethoughthismethodofgettingalonggoodenoughandwashappyandsatisfiedwiththewayfifeinWinesburghadturnedoutforhim。 ThemostabsurdlittlethingsmadeTomFosterhappy。That,Isuppose,waswhypeoplelovedhim。 InHern\'sGrocerytheywouldberoastingcoffeeonFridayafternoon,preparatorytotheSaturdayrushoftrade,andtherichodorinvadedlowerMainStreet。TomFosterappearedandsatonaboxattherearofthestore。Foranhourhedidnotmovebutsatperfectlystill,fillinghisbeingwiththespicyodorthatmadehimhalfdrunkwithhappiness。\"I likeit,\"hesaidgently。\"Itmakesmethinkofthingsfaraway,placesandthingslikethat。\" OnenightTomFostergotdrunk。Thatcameaboutinacuriousway。Heneverhadbeendrunkbefore,andindeedinallhisfifehadnevertakenadrinkofanythingintoxicating,buthefeltheneededtobedrunkthatonetimeandsowentanddidit。 InCincinnati,whenhelivedthere,Tomhadfoundoutmanythings,thingsaboutuglinessandcrimeandlust。Indeed,heknewmoreofthesethingsthananyoneelseinWinesburg。Thematterofsexinparticularhadpresenteditselftohiminaquitehorriblewayandhadmadeadeepimpressiononhismind。Hethought,afterwhathehadseenofthewomenstandingbeforethesqualidhousesoncoldnightsandthelookhehadseenintheeyesofthemenwhostoppedtotalktothem,thathewouldputsexaltogetheroutofhisownlife。Oneofthewomenoftheneighborhoodtemptedhimonceandhewentintoaroomwithher。Heneverforgotthesmelloftheroomnorthegreedylookthatcameintotheeyesofthewoman。Itsickenedhimandinaveryterriblewayleftascaronhissoul。Hehadalwaysbeforethoughtofwomenasquiteinnocentthings,muchlikehisgrandmother,butafterthatoneexperienceintheroomhedismissedwomenfromhismind。Sogentlewashisnaturethathecouldnothateanythingandnotbeingabletounder- standhedecidedtoforget。 AndTomdidforgetuntilhecametoWinesburg。 Afterhehadlivedtherefortwoyearssomethingbegantostirinhim。Onallsideshesawyouthmak- ingloveandhewashimselfayouth。Beforeheknewwhathadhappenedhewasinlovealso。HefellinlovewithHelenWhite,daughterofthemanforwhomhehadworked,andfoundhimselfthink- ingofheratnight。 ThatwasaproblemforTomandhesettleditinhisownway。HelethimselfthinkofHelenWhitewheneverherfigurecameintohismindandonlyconcernedhimselfwiththemannerofhisthoughts。 Hehadafight,aquietdeterminedlittlefightofhisown,tokeephisdesiresinthechannelwherehethoughttheybelonged,butonthewholehewasvictorious。 Andthencamethespringnightwhenhegotdrunk。Tomwaswildonthatnight。Hewaslikeaninnocentyoungbuckoftheforestthathaseatenofsomemaddeningweed。Thethingbegan,ranitscourse,andwasendedinonenight,andyoumaybesurethatnooneinWinesburgwasanytheworseforTom\'soutbreak。 Inthefirstplace,thenightwasonetomakeasensitivenaturedrunk。Thetreesalongtheresi- dencestreetsofthetownwereallnewlyclothedinsoftgreenleaves,inthegardensbehindthehousesmenwereputteringaboutinvegetablegardens,andintheairtherewasahush,awaitingkindofsilenceverystirringtotheblood。 TomlefthisroomonDuaneStreetjustastheyoungnightbegantomakeitselffelt。Firsthewalkedthroughthestreets,goingsoftlyandquietlyalong,thinkingthoughtsthathetriedtoputintowords。HesaidthatHelenWhitewasaflamedanc- ingintheairandthathewasalittletreewithoutleavesstandingoutsharplyagainstthesky。Thenhesaidthatshewasawind,astrongterriblewind,comingoutofthedarknessofastormyseaandthathewasaboatleftontheshoreoftheseabyafisherman。 Thatideapleasedtheboyandhesaunteredalongplayingwithit。HewentintoMainStreetandsatonthecurbingbeforeWacker\'stobaccostore。Foranhourhelingeredaboutlisteningtothetalkofmen,butitdidnotinteresthimmuchandheslippedaway。ThenhedecidedtogetdrunkandwentintoWilly\'ssaloonandboughtabottleofwhiskey。Put- tingthebottleintohispocket,hewalkedoutoftown,wantingtobealonetothinkmorethoughtsandtodrinkthewhiskey。 Tomgotdrunksittingonabankofnewgrassbesidetheroadaboutamilenorthoftown。Beforehimwasawhiteroadandathisbackanappleor- chardinfullbloom。Hetookadrinkoutofthebottleandthenlaydownonthegrass。HethoughtofmorningsinWinesburgandofhowthestonesinthegraveleddrivewaybyBankerWhite\'shousewerewetwithdewandglistenedinthemorninglight。Hethoughtofthenightsinthebarnwhenitrainedandhelayawakehearingthedrummingoftheraindropsandsmellingthewarmsmellofhorsesandofhay。ThenhethoughtofastormthathadgoneroaringthroughWinesburgseveraldaysbeforeand,hismindgoingback,herelivedthenighthehadspentonthetrainwithhisgrandmotherwhenthetwowerecomingfromCincinnati。Sharplyherememberedhowstrangeithadseemedtositqui- etlyinthecoachandtofeelthepoweroftheenginehurlingthetrainalongthroughthenight。 Tomgotdrunkinaveryshorttime。Hekepttak- ingdrinksfromthebottleasthethoughtsvisitedhimandwhenhisheadbegantoreelgotupandwalkedalongtheroadgoingawayfromWinesburg。 TherewasabridgeontheroadthatranoutofWinesburgnorthtoLakeErieandthedrunkenboymadehiswayalongtheroadtothebridge。Therehesatdown。Hetriedtodrinkagain,butwhenhehadtakenthecorkoutofthebottlehebecameillandputitquicklyback。Hisheadwasrockingbackandforthandsohesatonthestoneapproachtothebridgeandsighed。Hisheadseemedtobeflyingaboutlikeapinwheelandthenprojectingitselfoffintospaceandhisarmsandlegsfloppedhelplesslyabout。 Ateleveno\'clockTomgotbackintotown。GeorgeWillardfoundhimwanderingaboutandtookhimintotheEagleprintshop。Thenhebecameafraidthatthedrunkenboywouldmakeamessonthefloorandhelpedhimintothealleyway。 ThereporterwasconfusedbyTomFoster。ThedrunkenboytalkedofHelenWhiteandsaidhehadbeenwithherontheshoreofaseaandhadmadelovetoher。GeorgehadseenHelenWhitewalkinginthestreetwithherfatherduringtheeveninganddecidedthatTomwasoutofhishead。AsentimentconcerningHelenWhitethatlurkedinhisownheartflamedupandhebecameangry。\"Nowyouquitthat,\"hesaid。\"Iwon\'tletHelenWhite\'snamebedraggedintothis。Iwon\'tletthathappen。\"HebeganshakingTom\'sshoulder,tryingtomakehimunderstand。\"Youquitit,\"hesaidagain。 Forthreehoursthetwoyoungmen,thusstrangelythrowntogether,stayedintheprintshop。WhenhehadalittlerecoveredGeorgetookTomforawalk。 Theywentintothecountryandsatonalogneartheedgeofawood。Somethinginthestillnightdrewthemtogetherandwhenthedrunkenboy\'sheadbegantocleartheytalked。 \"Itwasgoodtobedrunk,\"TomFostersaid。\"Ittaughtmesomething。Iwon\'thavetodoitagain。I willthinkmoredearlyafterthis。Youseehowitis。\" GeorgeWillarddidnotsee,buthisangerconcern- ingHelenWhitepassedandhefeltdrawntowardthepale,shakenboyashehadneverbeforebeendrawntowardanyone。Withmotherlysolicitude,heinsistedthatTomgettohisfeetandwalkabout。 Againtheywentbacktotheprintshopandsatinsilenceinthedarkness。 ThereportercouldnotgetthepurposeofTomFoster\'sactionstraightenedoutinhismind。WhenTomspokeagainofHelenWhiteheagaingrewangryandbegantoscold。\"Youquitthat,\"hesaidsharply。\"Youhaven\'tbeenwithher。Whatmakesyousayyouhave?Whatmakesyoukeepsayingsuchthings?Nowyouquitit,doyouhear?\" Tomwashurt。Hecouldn\'tquarrelwithGeorgeWillardbecausehewasincapableofquarreling,sohegotuptogoaway。WhenGeorgeWillardwasinsistentheputouthishand,layingitontheolderboy\'sarm,andtriedtoexplain。 \"Well,\"hesaidsoftly,\"Idon\'tknowhowitwas。 Iwashappy。Youseehowthatwas。HelenWhitemademehappyandthenightdidtoo。Iwantedtosuffer,tobehurtsomehow。IthoughtthatwaswhatIshoulddo。Iwantedtosuffer,yousee,becauseeveryonesuffersanddoeswrong。Ithoughtofalotofthingstodo,buttheywouldn\'twork。Theyallhurtsomeoneelse。\" TomFoster\'svoicearose,andforonceinhislifehebecamealmostexcited。\"Itwaslikemakinglove,that\'swhatImean,\"heexplained。\"Don\'tyouseehowitis?IthurtmetodowhatIdidandmadeeverythingstrange。That\'swhyIdidit。I\'mglad,too。Ittaughtmesomething,that\'sit,that\'swhatI wanted。Don\'tyouunderstand?Iwantedtolearnthings,yousee。That\'swhyIdidit。\" DEATH THESTAIRWAYLEADINGuptoDoctorReefy\'soffice,intheHeffnerBlockabovetheParisDryGoodsstore,wasbutdimlylighted。Attheheadofthestairwayhungalampwithadirtychimneythatwasfastenedbyabrackettothewall。Thelamphadatinreflector,brownwithrustandcoveredwithdust。 Thepeoplewhowentupthestairwayfollowedwiththeirfeetthefeetofmanywhohadgonebefore。 Thesoftboardsofthestairshadyieldedunderthepressureoffeetanddeephollowsmarkedtheway。 Atthetopofthestairwayaturntotherightbroughtyoutothedoctor\'sdoor。Totheleftwasadarkhallwayfilledwithrubbish。Oldchairs,carpen- ter\'shorses,stepladdersandemptyboxeslayinthedarknesswaitingforshinstobebarked。ThepileofrubbishbelongedtotheParisDryGoodsCompany。