第7章

类别:其他 作者:Sherwood Anderson字数:16857更新时间:18/12/14 16:11:44
AndsointotheroomintheeveningcameyoungEnoch\'sfriends。Therewasnothingparticularlystrikingaboutthemexceptthattheywereartistsofthekindthattalk。Everyoneknowsofthetalkingartists。Throughoutalloftheknownhistoryoftheworldtheyhavegatheredinroomsandtalked。Theytalkofartandarepassionately,almostfeverishly,inearnestaboutit。T1heythinkitmattersmuchmorethanitdoes。 Andsothesepeoplegatheredandsmokedciga- rettesandtalkedandEnochRobinson,theboyfromthefarmnearWinesburg,wasthere。Hestayedinacornerandforthemostpartsaidnothing。Howhisbigbluechildlikeeyesstaredabout!Onthewallswerepictureshehadmade,crudethings,halffin- ished。Hisfriendstalkedofthese。Leaningbackintheirchairs,theytalkedandtalkedwiththeirheadsrockingfromsidetoside。Wordsweresaidaboutlineandvaluesandcomposition,lotsofwords,suchasarealwaysbeingsaid。 Enochwantedtotalktoobuthedidn\'tknowhow。 Hewastooexcitedtotalkcoherently。Whenhetriedhesputteredandstammeredandhisvoicesoundedstrangeandsqueakytohim。Thatmadehimstoptalking。Heknewwhathewantedtosay,butheknewalsothathecouldneverbyanypossibilitysayit。Whenapicturehehadpaintedwasunderdiscussion,hewantedtoburstoutwithsomethinglikethis:\"Youdon\'tgetthepoint,\"hewantedtoexplain;\"thepictureyouseedoesn\'tconsistofthethingsyouseeandsaywordsabout。Thereissome- thingelse,somethingyoudon\'tseeatall,somethingyouaren\'tintendedtosee。Lookatthisoneoverhere,bythedoorhere,wherethelightfromthewindowfallsonit。Thedarkspotbytheroadthatyoumightnotnoticeatallis,yousee,thebeginningofeverything。ThereisaclumpofelderstheresuchasusedtogrowbesidetheroadbeforeourhousebackinWinesburg,Ohio,andinamongtheeldersthereissomethinghidden。Itisawoman,that\'swhatitis。Shehasbeenthrownfromahorseandthehorsehasrunawayoutofsight。Doyounotseehowtheoldmanwhodrivesacartlooksanxiouslyabout?ThatisThadGraybackwhohasafarmuptheroad。HeistakingcorntoWinesburgtobegroundintomealatComstock\'smill。Heknowsthereissomethingintheelders,somethinghiddenaway,andyethedoesn\'tquiteknow。 \"It\'sawomanyousee,that\'swhatitis!It\'sawomanand,oh,sheislovely!Sheishurtandissufferingbutshemakesnosound。Don\'tyouseehowitis?Sheliesquitestill,whiteandstill,andthebeautycomesoutfromherandspreadsovereverything。Itisintheskybackthereandallaroundeverywhere。Ididn\'ttrytopaintthewoman,ofcourse。Sheistoobeautifultobepainted。Howdulltotalkofcompositionandsuchthings!WhydoyounotlookattheskyandthenrunawayasIusedtodowhenIwasaboybackthereinWinesburg,Ohio?\" ThatisthekindofthingyoungEnochRobinsontrembledtosaytotheguestswhocameintohisroomwhenhewasayoungfellowinNewYorkCity,buthealwaysendedbysayingnothing。Thenhebegantodoubthisownmind。Hewasafraidthethingshefeltwerenotgettingexpressedinthepictureshepainted。Inahalfindignantmoodhestoppedinvitingpeopleintohisroomandpresentlygotintothehabitoflockingthedoor。Hebegantothinkthatenoughpeoplehadvisitedhim,thathedidnotneedpeopleanymore。Withquickimagina- tionhebegantoinventhisownpeopletowhomhecouldreallytalkandtowhomheexplainedthethingshehadbeenunabletoexplaintolivingpeo- ple。Hisroombegantobeinhabitedbythespiritsofmenandwomenamongwhomhewent,inhisturnsayingwords。ItwasasthougheveryoneEnochRobinsonhadeverseenhadleftwithhimsomees- senceofhimself,somethinghecouldmouldandchangetosuithisownfancy,somethingthatunder- stoodallaboutsuchthingsasthewoundedwomanbehindtheeldersinthepictures。 Themild,blue-eyedyoungOhioboywasacom- pleteegotist,asallchildrenareegotists。Hedidnotwantfriendsforthequitesimplereasonthatnochildwantsfriends。Hewantedmostofallthepeo- pleofhisownmind,peoplewithwhomhecouldreallytalk,peoplehecouldharangueandscoldbythehour,servants,yousee,tohisfancy。Amongthesepeoplehewasalwaysself-confidentandbold。 Theymighttalk,tobesure,andevenhaveopinionsoftheirown,butalwayshetalkedlastandbest。Hewaslikeawriterbusyamongthefiguresofhisbrain,akindoftinyblue-eyedkinghewas,inasix- dollarroomfacingWashingtonSquareinthecityofNewYork。 ThenEnochRobinsongotmarried。Hebegantogetlonelyandtowanttotouchactualflesh-and- bonepeoplewithhishands。Dayspassedwhenhisroomseemedempty。Lustvisitedhisbodyandde- siregrewinhismind。Atnightstrangefevers,burn- ingwithin,kepthimawake。HemarriedagirlwhosatinachairnexttohisownintheartschoolandwenttoliveinanapartmenthouseinBrooklyn。Twochildrenwereborntothewomanhemarried,andEnochgotajobinaplacewhereillustrationsaremadeforadvertisements。 ThatbegananotherphaseofEnoch\'slife。Hebegantoplayatanewgame。Forawhilehewasveryproudofhimselfintheroleofproducingciti- zenoftheworld。Hedismissedtheessenceofthingsandplayedwithrealities。Inthefallhevotedatanelectionandhehadanewspaperthrownonhisporcheachmorning。Whenintheeveninghecamehomefromworkhegotoffastreetcarandwalkedsedatelyalongbehindsomebusinessman,strivingtolookverysubstantialandimportant。Asapayeroftaxeshethoughtheshouldposthimselfonhowthingsarerun。\"I\'mgettingtobeofsomemoment,arealpartofthings,ofthestateandthecityandallthat,\"hetoldhimselfwithanamusingminiatureairofdignity。Once,cominghomefromPhiladel- phia,hehadadiscussionwithamanmetonatrain。 Enochtalkedabouttheadvisabilityofthegovern- ment\'sowningandoperatingtherailroadsandthemangavehimacigar。ItwasEnoch\'snotionthatsuchamoveonthepartofthegovernmentwouldbeagoodthing,andhegrewquiteexcitedashetalked。Laterherememberedhisownwordswithpleasure。\"Igavehimsomethingtothinkabout,thatfellow,\"hemutteredtohimselfasheclimbedthestairstohisBrooklynapartment。 Tobesure,Enoch\'smarriagedidnotturnout。Hehimselfbroughtittoanend。Hebegantofeelchokedandwalledinbythelifeintheapartment,andtofeeltowardhiswifeandeventowardhischildrenashehadfeltconcerningthefriendswhooncecametovisithim。Hebegantotelllittleliesaboutbusinessengagementsthatwouldgivehimfreedomtowalkaloneinthestreetatnightand,thechanceoffering,hesecretlyre-rentedtheroomfac- ingWashingtonSquare。ThenMrs。AlRobinsondiedonthefarmnearWinesburg,andhegoteightthousanddollarsfromthebankthatactedastrusteeofherestate。ThattookEnochoutoftheworldofmenaltogether。Hegavethemoneytohiswifeandtoldherhecouldnotliveintheapartmentanymore。Shecriedandwasangryandthreatened,butheonlystaredatherandwenthisownway。Inrealitythewifedidnotcaremuch。ShethoughtEnochslightlyinsaneandwasalittleafraidofhim。 Whenitwasquitesurethathewouldnevercomeback,shetookthetwochildrenandwenttoavillageinConnecticutwhereshehadlivedasagirl。Intheendshemarriedamanwhoboughtandsoldrealestateandwascontentedenough。 AndsoEnochRobinsonstayedintheNewYorkroomamongthepeopleofhisfancy,playingwiththem,talkingtothem,happyasachildishappy。 Theywereanoddlot,Enoch\'speople。Theyweremade,Isuppose,outofrealpeoplehehadseenandwhohadforsomeobscurereasonmadeanappealtohim。Therewasawomanwithaswordinherhand,anoldmanwithalongwhitebeardwhowentaboutfollowedbyadog,ayounggirlwhosestock- ingswerealwayscomingdownandhangingoverhershoetops。Theremusthavebeentwodozenoftheshadowpeople,inventedbythechild-mindofEnochRobinson,wholivedintheroomwithhim。 AndEnochwashappy。Intotheroomhewentandlockedthedoor。Withanabsurdairofimpor- tancehetalkedaloud,givinginstructions,makingcommentsonlife。Hewashappyandsatisfiedtogoonmakinghislivingintheadvertisingplaceuntilsomethinghappened。Ofcoursesomethingdidhap- pen。ThatiswhyhewentbacktoliveinWinesburgandwhyweknowabouthim。Thethingthathap- penedwasawoman。Itwouldbethatway。Hewastoohappy。Somethinghadtocomeintohisworld。 SomethinghadtodrivehimoutoftheNewYorkroomtoliveouthislifeanobscure,jerkylittlefig- ure,bobbingupanddownonthestreetsofanOhiotownateveningwhenthesunwasgoingdownbe- hindtheroofofWesleyMoyer\'sliverybarn。 Aboutthethingthathappened。EnochtoldGeorgeWillardaboutitonenight。Hewantedtotalktosomeone,andhechosetheyoungnewspaperre- porterbecausethetwohappenedtobethrownto- getheratatimewhentheyoungermanwasinamoodtounderstand。 Youthfulsadness,youngman\'ssadness,thesad- nessofagrowingboyinavillageattheyear\'send,openedthelipsoftheoldman。ThesadnesswasintheheartofGeorgeWillardandwaswithoutmean- ing,butitappealedtoEnochRobinson。 Itrainedontheeveningwhenthetwometandtalked,adrizzlywetOctoberrain。Thefruitionoftheyearhadcomeandthenightshouldhavebeenfinewithamoonintheskyandthecrispsharppromiseoffrostintheair,butitwasn\'tthatway。 ItrainedandlittlepuddlesofwatershoneunderthestreetlampsonMainStreet。InthewoodsinthedarknessbeyondtheFairGroundwaterdrippedfromtheblacktrees。Beneaththetreeswetleaveswerepastedagainsttreerootsthatprotrudedfromtheground。IngardensbackofhousesinWinesburgdryshriveledpotatovineslaysprawlingontheground。Menwhohadfinishedtheeveningmealandwhohadplannedtogouptowntotalktheeve- ningawaywithothermenatthebackofsomestorechangedtheirminds。GeorgeWillardtrampedaboutintherainandwasgladthatitrained。Hefeltthatway。HewaslikeEnochRobinsonontheeveningswhentheoldmancamedownoutofhisroomandwanderedaloneinthestreets。HewaslikethatonlythatGeorgeWillardhadbecomeatallyoungmananddidnotthinkitmanlytoweepandcarryon。 Foramonthhismotherhadbeenveryillandthathadsomethingtodowithhissadness,butnotmuch。Hethoughtabouthimselfandtotheyoungthatalwaysbringssadness。 EnochRobinsonandGeorgeWillardmetbeneathawoodenawningthatextendedoutovertheside- walkbeforeVoight\'swagonshoponMaumeeStreetjustoffthemainstreetofWinesburg。Theywenttogetherfromtherethroughtherain-washedstreetstotheolderman\'sroomonthethirdflooroftheHeffnerBlock。Theyoungreporterwentwillinglyenough。EnochRobinsonaskedhimtogoafterthetwohadtalkedfortenminutes。Theboywasalittleafraidbuthadneverbeenmorecuriousinhislife。 Ahundredtimeshehadheardtheoldmanspokenofasalittleoffhisheadandhethoughthimselfratherbraveandmanlytogoatall。Fromtheverybeginning,inthestreetintherain,theoldmantalkedinaqueerway,tryingtotellthestoryoftheroominWashingtonSquareandofhislifeintheroom。\"You\'llunderstandifyoutryhardenough,\" hesaidconclusively。\"IhavelookedatyouwhenyouwentpastmeonthestreetandIthinkyoucanunderstand。Itisn\'thard。AllyouhavetodoistobelievewhatIsay,justlistenandbelieve,that\'sallthereistoit。\" Itwaspasteleveno\'clockthateveningwhenoldEnoch,talkingtoGeorgeWillardintheroomintheHeffnerBlock,cametothevitalthing,thestoryofthewomanandofwhatdrovehimoutofthecitytoliveouthislifealoneanddefeatedinWinesburg。 HesatonacotbythewindowwithhisheadinhishandandGeorgeWillardwasinachairbyatable。 Akerosenelampsatonthetableandtheroom,althoughalmostbareoffurniture,wasscrupulouslyclean。AsthemantalkedGeorgeWillardbegantofeelthathewouldliketogetoutofthechairandsitonthecotalso。Hewantedtoputhisarmsaboutthelittleoldman。Inthehalfdarknessthemantalkedandtheboylistened,filledwithsadness。 \"Shegottocominginthereaftertherehadn\'tbeenanyoneintheroomforyears,\"saidEnochRobinson。\"Shesawmeinthehallwayofthehouseandwegotacquainted。Idon\'tknowjustwhatshedidinherownroom。Ineverwentthere。Ithinkshewasamusicianandplayedaviolin。EverynowandthenshecameandknockedatthedoorandI openedit。Inshecameandsatdownbesideme,justsatandlookedaboutandsaidnothing。Anyway,shesaidnothingthatmattered。\" Theoldmanarosefromthecotandmovedabouttheroom。Theovercoatheworewaswetfromtherainanddropsofwaterkeptfallingwithasoftthumponthefloor。WhenheagainsatuponthecotGeorgeWillardgotoutofthechairandsatbesidehim。 \"Ihadafeelingabouther。Shesatthereintheroomwithmeandshewastoobigfortheroom。I feltthatshewasdrivingeverythingelseaway。Wejusttalkedoflittlethings,butIcouldn\'tsitstill。I wantedtotouchherwithmyfingersandtokissher。Herhandsweresostrongandherfacewassogoodandshelookedatmeallthetime。\" Thetremblingvoiceoftheoldmanbecamesilentandhisbodyshookasfromachill。\"Iwasafraid,\" hewhispered。\"Iwasterriblyafraid。Ididn\'twanttolethercomeinwhensheknockedatthedoorbutIcouldn\'tsitstill。\'No,no,\'Isaidtomyself,butIgotupandopenedthedoorjustthesame。Shewassogrownup,yousee。Shewasawoman。I thoughtshewouldbebiggerthanIwasthereinthatroom。\" EnochRobinsonstaredatGeorgeWillard,hischildlikeblueeyesshininginthelamplight。Againheshivered。\"IwantedherandallthetimeIdidn\'twanther,\"heexplained。\"ThenIbegantotellheraboutmypeople,abouteverythingthatmeantany- thingtome。Itriedtokeepquiet,tokeepmyselftomyself,butIcouldn\'t。IfeltjustasIdidaboutopen- ingthedoor。SometimesIachedtohavehergoawayandnevercomebackanymore。\" Theoldmansprangtohisfeetandhisvoiceshookwithexcitement。\"Onenightsomethinghap- pened。IbecamemadtomakeherunderstandmeandtoknowwhatabigthingIwasinthatroom。I wantedhertoseehowimportantIwas。Itoldheroverandover。Whenshetriedtogoaway,Iranandlockedthedoor。Ifollowedherabout。Italkedandtalkedandthenallofasuddenthingswenttosmash。AlookcameintohereyesandIknewshedidunderstand。Maybeshehadunderstoodallthetime。Iwasfurious。Icouldn\'tstandit。Iwantedhertounderstandbut,don\'tyousee,Icouldn\'tletherunderstand。Ifeltthatthenshewouldknowevery- thing,thatIwouldbesubmerged,drownedout,yousee。That\'showitis。Idon\'tknowwhy。\" Theoldmandroppedintoachairbythelampandtheboylistened,filledwithawe。\"Goaway,boy,\"saidtheman。\"Don\'tstayherewithmeanymore。Ithoughtitmightbeagoodthingtotellyoubutitisn\'t。Idon\'twanttotalkanymore。Goaway。\" GeorgeWillardshookhisheadandanoteofcom- mandcameintohisvoice。\"Don\'tstopnow。Tellmetherestofit,\"hecommandedsharply。\"Whathappened?Tellmetherestofthestory。\" EnochRobinsonsprangtohisfeetandrantothewindowthatlookeddownintothedesertedmainstreetofWinesburg。GeorgeWillardfollowed。Bythewindowthetwostood,thetallawkwardboy- manandthelittlewrinkledman-boy。Thechildish,eagervoicecarriedforwardthetale。\"Isworeather,\"heexplained。\"Isaidvilewords。Iorderedhertogoawayandnottocomeback。Oh,Isaidterriblethings。AtfirstshepretendednottounderstandbutIkeptatit。Iscreamedandstampedonthefloor。I madethehouseringwithmycurses。Ididn\'twantevertoseeheragainandIknew,aftersomeofthethingsIsaid,thatIneverwouldseeheragain。\" Theoldman\'svoicebrokeandheshookhishead。 \"Thingswenttosmash,\"hesaidquietlyandsadly。 \"Outshewentthroughthedoorandallthelifetherehadbeenintheroomfollowedherout。Shetookallofmypeopleaway。Theyallwentoutthroughthedoorafterher。That\'sthewayitwas。\" GeorgeWillardturnedandwentoutofEnochRobinson\'sroom。Inthedarknessbythewindow,ashewentthroughthedoor,hecouldhearthethinoldvoicewhimperingandcomplaining。\"I\'malone,allalonehere,\"saidthevoice。\"ItwaswarmandfriendlyinmyroombutnowI\'mallalone。\" ANAWAKENING BELLECARPENTERhadadarkskin,greyeyes,andthicklips。Shewastallandstrong。Whenblackthoughtsvisitedhershegrewangryandwishedshewereamanandcouldfightsomeonewithherfists。 SheworkedinthemillineryshopkeptbyMrs。KateMcHughandduringthedaysattrimminghatsbyawindowattherearofthestore。Shewasthedaugh- terofHenryCarpenter,bookkeeperintheFirstNa- tionalBankofWinesburg,andlivedwithhiminagloomyoldhousefaroutattheendofBuckeyeStreet。Thehousewassurroundedbypinetreesandtherewasnograssbeneaththetrees。Arustytineaves-troughhadslippedfromitsfasteningsatthebackofthehouseandwhenthewindblewitbeatagainsttheroofofasmallshed,makingadismaldrummingnoisethatsometimespersistedallthroughthenight。 WhenshewasayounggirlHenryCarpentermadelifealmostunbearableforBelle,butassheemergedfromgirlhoodintowomanhoodhelosthispoweroverher。Thebookkeeper\'slifewasmadeupofinnumerablelittlepettinesses。Whenhewenttothebankinthemorninghesteppedintoaclosetandputonablackalpacacoatthathadbecomeshabbywithage。Atnightwhenhereturnedtohishomehedonnedanotherblackalpacacoat。Everyeveninghepressedtheclothesworninthestreets。 Hehadinventedanarrangementofboardsforthepurpose。Thetrouserstohisstreetsuitwereplacedbetweentheboardsandtheboardswereclampedtogetherwithheavyscrews。Inthemorninghewipedtheboardswithadampclothandstoodthemuprightbehindthediningroomdoor。Iftheyweremovedduringthedayhewasspeechlesswithangeranddidnotrecoverhisequilibriumforaweek。 Thebankcashierwasalittlebullyandwasafraidofhisdaughter。She,herealized,knewthestoryofhisbrutaltreatmentofhermotherandhatedhimforit。Onedayshewenthomeatnoonandcarriedahandfulofsoftmud,takenfromtheroad,intothehouse。Withthemudshesmearedthefaceoftheboardsusedforthepressingoftrousersandthenwentbacktoherworkfeelingrelievedandhappy。 BelleCarpenteroccasionallywalkedoutintheeveningwithGeorgeWillard。Secretlyshelovedan- otherman,butherloveaffair,aboutwhichnooneknew,causedhermuchanxiety。ShewasinlovewithEdHandby,bartenderinEdGriffith\'sSaloon,andwentaboutwiththeyoungreporterasakindofrelieftoherfeelings。ShedidnotthinkthatherstationinlifewouldpermithertobeseeninthecompanyofthebartenderandwalkedaboutunderthetreeswithGeorgeWillardandlethimkisshertorelievealongingthatwasveryinsistentinhernature。Shefeltthatshecouldkeeptheyoungermanwithinbounds。AboutEdHandbyshewassomewhatuncertain。 Handby,thebartender,wasatall,broad-shoulderedmanofthirtywholivedinaroomupstairsaboveGriffith\'ssaloon。Hisfistswerelargeandhiseyesunusuallysmall,buthisvoice,asthoughstrivingtoconcealthepowerbackofhisfists,wassoftandquiet。 Attwenty-fivethebartenderhadinheritedalargefarmfromanuncleinIndiana。Whensold,thefarmbroughtineightthousanddollars,whichEdspentinsixmonths。GoingtoSandusky,onLakeErie,hebegananorgyofdissipation,thestoryofwhichafterwardfilledhishometownwithawe。Hereandtherehewentthrowingthemoneyabout,drivingcarriagesthroughthestreets,givingwinepartiestocrowdsofmenandwomen,playingcardsforhighstakesandkeepingmistresseswhosewardrobescosthimhundredsofdollars。OnenightataresortcalledCedarPoint,hegotintoafightandranamucklikeawildthing。WithhisfisthebrokealargemirrorinthewashroomofahotelandlaterwentaboutsmashingwindowsandbreakingchairsindancehallsforthejoyofhearingtheglassrattleonthefloorandseeingtheterrorintheeyesofclerkswhohadcomefromSanduskytospendtheeveningattheresortwiththeirsweethearts。 TheaffairbetweenEdHandbyandBelleCarpen- teronthesurfaceamountedtonothing。Hehadsuc- ceededinspendingbutoneeveninginhercompany。 OnthateveninghehiredahorseandbuggyatWes- leyMoyer\'sliverybarnandtookherforadrive。 Theconvictionthatshewasthewomanhisnaturedemandedandthathemustgethersettleduponhimandhetoldherofhisdesires。Thebartenderwasreadytomarryandtobegintryingtoearnmoneyforthesupportofhiswife,butsosimplewashisnaturethathefounditdifficulttoexplainhisintentions。Hisbodyachedwithphysicallongingandwithhisbodyheexpressedhimself。Takingthemillinerintohisarmsandholdinghertightlyinspiteofherstruggles,hekissedheruntilshebecamehelpless。Thenhebroughtherbacktotownandletheroutofthebuggy。\"WhenIgetholdofyouagainI\'llnotletyougo。Youcan\'tplaywithme,\"hede- claredasheturnedtodriveaway。Then,jumpingoutofthebuggy,hegrippedhershoulderswithhisstronghands。\"I\'llkeepyouforgoodthenexttime,\" hesaid。\"Youmightaswellmakeupyourmindtothat。It\'syouandmeforitandI\'mgoingtohaveyoubeforeIgetthrough。\" OnenightinJanuarywhentherewasanewmoonGeorgeWillard,whowasinEdHandby\'smindtheonlyobstacletohisgettingBelleCarpenter,wentforawalk。EarlythateveningGeorgewentintoRansomSurbeck\'spoolroomwithSethRichmondandArtWilson,sonofthetownbutcher。SethRichmondstoodwithhisbackagainstthewallandremainedsilent,butGeorgeWillardtalked。ThepoolroomwasfilledwithWinesburgboysandtheytalkedofwomen。Theyoungreportergotintothatvein。Hesaidthatwomenshouldlookoutforthemselves,thatthefellowwhowentoutwithagirlwasnotresponsibleforwhathappened。Ashetalkedhelookedabout,eagerforattention。HeheldthefloorforfiveminutesandthenArtWilsonbegantotalk。 Artwaslearningthebarber\'stradeinCalProuse\'sshopandalreadybegantoconsiderhimselfanau- thorityinsuchmattersasbaseball,horseracing,drinking,andgoingaboutwithwomen。HebegantotellofanightwhenhewithtwomenfromWines- burgwentintoahouseofprostitutionatthecountyseat。Thebutcher\'ssonheldacigarinthesideofhismouthandashetalkedspatonthefloor。\"Thewomenintheplacecouldn\'tembarrassmealthoughtheytriedhardenough,\"heboasted。\"Oneofthegirlsinthehousetriedtogetfresh,butIfooledher。 AssoonasshebegantotalkIwentandsatinherlap。EveryoneintheroomlaughedwhenIkissedher。Itaughthertoletmealone。\" GeorgeWillardwentoutofthepoolroomandintoMainStreet。FordaystheweatherhadbeenbittercoldwithahighwindblowingdownonthetownfromLakeErie,eighteenmilestothenorth,butonthatnightthewindhaddiedawayandanewmoonmadethenightunusuallylovely。With- outthinkingwherehewasgoingorwhathewantedtodo,GeorgewentoutofMainStreetandbeganwalkingindimlylightedstreetsfilledwithframehouses。 Outofdoorsundertheblackskyfilledwithstarsheforgothiscompanionsofthepoolroom。Becauseitwasdarkandhewasalonehebegantotalkaloud。 Inaspiritofplayhereeledalongthestreetimitatingadrunkenmanandthenimaginedhimselfasoldiercladinshiningbootsthatreachedtothekneesandwearingaswordthatjingledashewalked。Asasoldierhepicturedhimselfasaninspector,passingbeforealonglineofmenwhostoodatattention。 Hebegantoexaminetheaccoutrementsofthemen。 Beforeatreehestoppedandbegantoscold。\"Yourpackisnotinorder,\"hesaidsharply。\"HowmanytimeswillIhavetospeakofthismatter?Everythingmustbeinorderhere。Wehaveadifficulttaskbe- foreusandnodifficulttaskcanbedonewithoutorder。\" Hypnotizedbyhisownwords,theyoungmanstumbledalongtheboardsidewalksayingmorewords。\"Thereisalawforarmiesandformentoo,\" hemuttered,lostinreflection。\"Thelawbeginswithlittlethingsandspreadsoutuntilitcoversevery- thing。Ineverylittlethingtheremustbeorder,intheplacewheremenwork,intheirclothes,intheirthoughts。Imyselfmustbeorderly。Imustlearnthatlaw。Imustgetmyselfintotouchwithsomethingorderlyandbigthatswingsthroughthenightlikeastar。InmylittlewayImustbegintolearnsome- thing,togiveandswingandworkwithlife,withthelaw。\" GeorgeWillardstoppedbyapicketfencenearastreetlampandhisbodybegantotremble。Hehadneverbeforethoughtsuchthoughtsashadjustcomeintohisheadandhewonderedwheretheyhadcomefrom。Forthemomentitseemedtohimthatsomevoiceoutsideofhimselfhadbeentalkingashewalked。Hewasamazedanddelightedwithhisownmindandwhenhewalkedonagainspokeofthematterwithfervor。\"TocomeoutofRansomSurbeck\'spoolroomandthinkthingslikethat,\"hewhispered。\"Itisbettertobealone。IfItalkedlikeArtWilsontheboyswouldunderstandmebuttheywouldn\'tunderstandwhatI\'vebeenthinkingdownhere。\" InWinesburg,asinallOhiotownsoftwentyyearsago,therewasasectioninwhichliveddaylaborers。Asthetimeoffactorieshadnotyetcome,thelaborersworkedinthefieldsorweresectionhandsontherailroads。Theyworkedtwelvehoursadayandreceivedonedollarforthelongdayoftoil。Thehousesinwhichtheylivedweresmallcheaplyconstructedwoodenaffairswithagardenattheback。Themorecomfortableamongthemkeptcowsandperhapsapig,housedinalittleshedattherearofthegarden。 Withhisheadfilledwithresoundingthoughts,GeorgeWillardwalkedintosuchastreetontheclearJanuarynight。Thestreetwasdimlylightedandinplacestherewasnosidewalk。Inthescenethatlayabouthimtherewassomethingthatexcitedhisal- readyarousedfancy。Forayearhehadbeendevot- ingallofhisoddmomentstothereadingofbooksandnowsometalehehadreadconcerningfifeinoldworldtownsofthemiddleagescamesharplybacktohismindsothathestumbledforwardwiththecuriousfeelingofonerevisitingaplacethathadbeenapartofsomeformerexistence。Onanimpulseheturnedoutofthestreetandwentintoalittledarkalleywaybehindtheshedsinwhichlivedthecowsandpigs。 Forahalfhourhestayedinthealleyway,smellingthestrongsmellofanimalstoocloselyhousedandlettinghismindplaywiththestrangenewthoughtsthatcametohim。Theveryranknessofthesmellofmanureintheclearsweetairawokesomethingheadyinhisbrain。Thepoorlittlehouseslightedbykerosenelamps,thesmokefromthechimneysmountingstraightupintotheclearair,thegruntingofpigs,thewomencladincheapcalicodressesandwashingdishesinthekitchens,thefootstepsofmencomingoutofthehousesandgoingofftothestoresandsaloonsofMainStreet,thedogsbarkingandthechildrencrying——allofthesethingsmadehimseem,ashelurkedinthedarkness,oddlydetachedandapartfromalllife。 Theexcitedyoungman,unabletobeartheweightofhisownthoughts,begantomovecautiouslyalongthealleyway。Adogattackedhimandhadtobedrivenawaywithstones,andamanappearedatthedoorofoneofthehousesandsworeatthedog。 Georgewentintoavacantlotandthrowingbackhisheadlookedupatthesky。Hefeltunutterablybigandremadebythesimpleexperiencethroughwhichhehadbeenpassingandinakindoffervorofemo- tionputuphishands,thrustingthemintothedark- nessabovehisheadandmutteringwords。Thedesiretosaywordsovercamehimandhesaidwordswithoutmeaning,rollingthemoveronhistongueandsayingthembecausetheywerebravewords,fullofmeaning。\"Death,\"hemuttered,night,thesea,fear,loveliness。\" GeorgeWillardcameoutofthevacantlotandstoodagainonthesidewalkfacingthehouses。Hefeltthatallofthepeopleinthelittlestreetmustbebrothersandsisterstohimandhewishedhehadthecouragetocallthemoutoftheirhousesandtoshaketheirhands。\"IftherewereonlyawomanhereIwouldtakeholdofherhandandwewouldrununtilwewerebothtiredout,\"hethought。\"Thatwouldmakemefeelbetter。\"WiththethoughtofawomaninhismindhewalkedoutofthestreetandwenttowardthehousewhereBelleCarpenterlived。 Hethoughtshewouldunderstandhismoodandthathecouldachieveinherpresenceapositionhehadlongbeenwantingtoachieve。Inthepastwhenhehadbeenwithherandhadkissedherlipshehadcomeawayfilledwithangerathimself。Hehadfeltlikeonebeingusedforsomeobscurepurposeandhadnotenjoyedthefeeling。Nowhethoughthehadsuddenlybecometoobigtobeused。 WhenGeorgegottoBelleCarpenter\'shousetherehadalreadybeenavisitortherebeforehim。EdHandbyhadcometothedoorandcallingBelleoutofthehousehadtriedtotalktoher。Hehadwantedtoaskthewomantocomeawaywithhimandtobehiswife,butwhenshecameandstoodbythedoorhelosthisself-assuranceandbecamesullen。\"Youstayawayfromthatkid,\"hegrowled,thinkingofGeorgeWillard,andthen,notknowingwhatelsetosay,turnedtogoaway。\"IfIcatchyoutogetherI willbreakyourbonesandhistoo,\"headded。Thebartenderhadcometowoo,nottothreaten,andwasangrywithhimselfbecauseofhisfailure。 WhenherloverhaddepartedBellewentindoorsandranhurriedlyupstairs。FromawindowattheupperpartofthehouseshesawEdHandbycrossthestreetandsitdownonahorseblockbeforethehouseofaneighbor。Inthedimlightthemansatmotionlessholdinghisheadinhishands。Shewasmadehappybythesight,andwhenGeorgeWillardcametothedoorshegreetedhimeffusivelyandhurriedlyputonherhat。Shethoughtthat,asshewalkedthroughthestreetswithyoungWillard,EdHandbywouldfollowandshewantedtomakehimsuffer。 ForanhourBelleCarpenterandtheyoungre- porterwalkedaboutunderthetreesinthesweetnightair。GeorgeWillardwasfullofbigwords。Thesenseofpowerthathadcometohimduringthehourinthedarknessinthealleywayremainedwithhimandhetalkedboldly,swaggeringalongandswinginghisarmsabout。HewantedtomakeBelleCarpenterrealizethathewasawareofhisformerweaknessandthathehadchanged。\"You\'llfindmedifferent,\"hedeclared,thrustinghishandsintohispocketsandlookingboldlyintohereyes。\"Idon\'tknowwhybutitisso。You\'vegottotakemeforamanorletmealone。That\'showitis。\" Upanddownthequietstreetsunderthenewmoonwentthewomanandtheboy。WhenGeorgehadfinishedtalkingtheyturneddownasidestreetandwentacrossabridgeintoapaththatranupthesideofahill。ThehillbeganatWaterworksPondandclimbedupwardtotheWinesburgFairGrounds。Onthehillsidegrewdensebushesandsmalltreesandamongthebusheswerelittleopenspacescarpetedwithlonggrass,nowstiffandfrozen。 AshewalkedbehindthewomanupthehillGeorgeWillard\'sheartbegantobeatrapidlyandhisshouldersstraightened。SuddenlyhedecidedthatBelleCarpenterwasabouttosurrenderherselftohim。Thenewforcethathadmanifesteditselfinhimhad,hefelt,beenatworkuponherandhadledtoherconquest。Thethoughtmadehimhalfdrunkwiththesenseofmasculinepower。Althoughhehadbeenannoyedthatastheywalkedaboutshehadnotseemedtobelisteningtohiswords,thefactthatshehadaccompaniedhimtothisplacetookallhisdoubtsaway。\"Itisdifferent。Everythinghasbecomedifferent,\"hethoughtandtakingholdofhershoulderturnedheraboutandstoodlookingather,hiseyesshiningwithpride。 BelleCarpenterdidnotresist。Whenhekissedheruponthelipssheleanedheavilyagainsthimandlookedoverhisshoulderintothedarkness。Inherwholeattitudetherewasasuggestionofwaiting。 Again,asinthealleyway,GeorgeWillard\'smindranoffintowordsand,holdingthewomantightlyhewhisperedthewordsintothestillnight。\"Lust,\" hewhispered,\"lustandnightandwomen。\" GeorgeWillarddidnotunderstandwhathap- penedtohimthatnightonthehillside。Later,whenhegottohisownroom,hewantedtoweepandthengrewhalfinsanewithangerandhate。HehatedBelleCarpenterandwassurethatallhislifehewouldcontinuetohateher。Onthehillsidehehadledthewomantooneofthelittleopenspacesamongthebushesandhaddroppedtohiskneesbesideher。Asinthevacantlot,bythelaborers\' houses,hehadputuphishandsingratitudeforthenewpowerinhimselfandwaswaitingforthewomantospeakwhenEdHandbyappeared。 Thebartenderdidnotwanttobeattheboy,whohethoughthadtriedtotakehiswomanaway。Heknewthatbeatingwasunnecessary,thathehadpowerwithinhimselftoaccomplishhispurposewithoutusinghisfists。GrippingGeorgebytheshoulderandpullinghimtohisfeet,heheldhimwithonehandwhilehelookedatBelleCarpenterseatedonthegrass。Thenwithaquickwidemove- mentofhisarmhesenttheyoungermansprawlingawayintothebushesandbegantobullythewoman,whohadrisentoherfeet。\"You\'renogood,\"hesaidroughly。\"I\'vehalfamindnottobotherwithyou。I\'dletyoualoneifIdidn\'twantyousomuch。\" OnhishandsandkneesinthebushesGeorgeWillardstaredatthescenebeforehimandtriedhardtothink。Hepreparedtospringatthemanwhohadhumiliatedhim。Tobebeatenseemedtobeinfinitelybetterthantobethushurledignominiouslyaside。 ThreetimestheyoungreportersprangatEdHandbyandeachtimethebartender,catchinghimbytheshoulder,hurledhimbackintothebushes。 TheoldermanseemedpreparedtokeeptheexercisegoingindefinitelybutGeorgeWillard\'sheadstrucktherootofatreeandhelaystill。ThenEdHandbytookBelleCarpenterbythearmandmarchedheraway。 Georgeheardthemanandwomanmakingtheirwaythroughthebushes。Ashecreptdownthehill- sidehisheartwassickwithinhim。Hehatedhimselfandhehatedthefatethathadbroughtabouthishumiliation。Whenhismindwentbacktothehouraloneinthealleywayhewaspuzzledandstoppinginthedarknesslistened,hopingtohearagainthevoiceoutsidehimselfthathadsoshortatimebeforeputnewcourageintohisheart。Whenhiswayhomewardledhimagainintothestreetofframehouseshecouldnotbearthesightandbegantorun,wantingtogetquicklyoutoftheneighborhoodthatnowseemedtohimutterlysqualidandcommonplace。 \"QUEER\" FROMHISSEATonaboxintheroughboardshedthatstucklikeaburrontherearofCowley&Son\'sstoreinWinesburg,ElmerCowley,thejuniormemberofthefirm,couldseethroughadirtywindowintotheprintshopoftheWinesburgEagle。Elmerwasputtingnewshoelacesinhisshoes。Theydidnotgoinreadilyandhehadtotaketheshoesoff。Withtheshoesinhishandhesatlookingatalargeholeintheheelofoneofhisstockings。ThenlookingquicklyuphesawGeorgeWillard,theonlynewspa- perreporterinWinesburg,standingatthebackdooroftheEagleprintshopandstaringabsentmindedlyabout。\"Well,well,whatnext!\"exclaimedtheyoungmanwiththeshoesinhishand,jumpingtohisfeetandcreepingawayfromthewindow。 AflushcreptintoElmerCowley\'sfaceandhishandsbegantotremble。InCowley&Son\'sstoreaJewishtravelingsalesmanstoodbythecountertalk- ingtohisfather。Heimaginedthereportercouldhearwhatwasbeingsaidandthethoughtmadehimfurious。Withoneoftheshoesstillheldinhishandhestoodinacorneroftheshedandstampedwithastockingedfootupontheboardfloor。 Cowley&Son\'sstoredidnotfacethemainstreetofWinesburg。ThefrontwasonMaumeeStreetandbeyonditwasVoight\'swagonshopandashedfortheshelteringoffarmers\'horses。Besidethestoreanalleywayranbehindthemainstreetstoresandalldaydraysanddeliverywagons,intentonbringinginandtakingoutgoods,passedupanddown。Thestoreitselfwasindescribable。WillHendersononcesaidofitthatitsoldeverythingandnothing。InthewindowfacingMaumeeStreetstoodachunkofcoalaslargeasanapplebarrel,toindicatethatordersforcoalweretaken,andbesidetheblackmassofthecoalstoodthreecombsofhoneygrownbrownanddirtyintheirwoodenframes。 Thehoneyhadstoodinthestorewindowforsixmonths。Itwasforsaleaswerealsothecoathang- ers,patentsuspenderbuttons,cansofroofpaint,bottlesofrheumatismcure,andasubstituteforcof- feethatcompanionedthehoneyinitspatientwill- ingnesstoservethepublic。 EbenezerCowley,themanwhostoodinthestorelisteningtotheeagerpatterofwordsthatfellfromthelipsofthetravelingman,wastallandleanandlookedunwashed。Onhisscrawnyneckwasalargewenpartiallycoveredbyagreybeard。HeworealongPrinceAlbertcoat。Thecoathadbeenpur- chasedtoserveasaweddinggarment。BeforehebecameamerchantEbenezerwasafarmerandafterhismarriageheworethePrinceAlbertcoattochurchonSundaysandonSaturdayafternoonswhenhecameintotowntotrade。Whenhesoldthefarmtobecomeamerchantheworethecoatconstantly。Ithadbecomebrownwithageandwascoveredwithgreasespots,butinitEbenezeralwaysfeltdressedupandreadyforthedayintown。 AsamerchantEbenezerwasnothappilyplacedinlifeandhehadnotbeenhappilyplacedasafarmer。Stillheexisted。Hisfamily,consistingofadaughternamedMabelandtheson,livedwithhiminroomsabovethestoreanditdidnotcostthemmuchtolive。Histroubleswerenotfinancial。Hisunhappinessasamerchantlayinthefactthatwhenatravelingmanwithwarestobesoldcameinatthefrontdoorhewasafraid。Behindthecounterhestoodshakinghishead。Hewasafraid,firstthathewouldstubbornlyrefusetobuyandthuslosetheopportunitytosellagain;secondthathewouldnotbestubbornenoughandwouldinamomentofweaknessbuywhatcouldnotbesold。 InthestoreonthemorningwhenElmerCowleysawGeorgeWillardstandingandapparentlylis- teningatthebackdooroftheEagleprintshop,asituationhadarisenthatalwaysstirredtheson\'swrath。ThetravelingmantalkedandEbenezerlis- tened,hiswholefigureexpressinguncertainty。\"Youseehowquicklyitisdone,\"saidthetravelingman,whohadforsaleasmallflatmetalsubstituteforcollarbuttons。Withonehandhequicklyunfastenedacollarfromhisshirtandthenfasteneditonagain。 Heassumedaflatteringwheedlingtone。\"Itellyouwhat,menhavecometotheendofallthisfoolingwithcollarbuttonsandyouarethemantomakemoneyoutofthechangethatiscoming。Iamoffer- ingyoutheexclusiveagencyforthistown。TaketwentydozenofthesefastenersandI\'llnotvisitanyotherstore。I\'llleavethefieldtoyou。\" ThetravelingmanleanedoverthecounterandtappedwithhisfingeronEbenezer\'sbreast。\"It\'sanopportunityandIwantyoutotakeit,\"heurged。 \"Afriendofminetoldmeaboutyou。\'SeethatmanCowley,\'hesaid。\'He\'saliveone。\'\" Thetravelingmanpausedandwaited。Takingabookfromhispockethebeganwritingouttheorder。StillholdingtheshoeinhishandElmerCow- leywentthroughthestore,pastthetwoabsorbedmen,toaglassshowcasenearthefrontdoor。Hetookacheaprevolverfromthecaseandbegantowaveitabout。\"Yougetoutofhere!\"heshrieked。 \"Wedon\'twantanycollarfastenershere。\"Anideacametohim。\"Mind,I\'mnotmakinganythreat,\" headded。\"Idon\'tsayI\'llshoot。MaybeIjusttookthisgunoutofthecasetolookatit。Butyoubettergetout。Yessir,I\'llsaythat。Youbettergrabupyourthingsandgetout。\" Theyoungstorekeeper\'svoicerosetoascreamandgoingbehindthecounterhebegantoadvanceuponthetwomen。\"We\'rethroughbeingfoolshere!\"hecried。\"Weain\'tgoingtobuyanymorestuffuntilwebegintosell。Weain\'tgoingtokeeponbeingqueerandhavefolksstaringandlistening。