第5章

类别:其他 作者:Sherwood Anderson字数:16337更新时间:18/12/14 16:11:44
HadyoubeenintheearlieryearsofyourlifeacitizenofthevillageofWinesburg,Ohio,therewouldhavebeenforyounomysteryinregardtothebeastinhiscage。\"ItislikeWashWilliams,\"youwouldhavesaid。\"Ashesitsinthecornerthere,thebeastisexactlylikeoldWashsittingonthegrassinthestationyardonasummereveningafterhehasclosedhisofficeforthenight。\" WashWilliams,thetelegraphoperatorofWines- burg,wastheugliestthingintown。Hisgirthwasimmense,hisneckthin,hislegsfeeble。Hewasdirty。Everythingabouthimwasunclean。Eventhewhitesofhiseyeslookedsoiled。 Igotoofast。NoteverythingaboutWashwasun- clean。Hetookcareofhishands。Hisfingerswerefat,buttherewassomethingsensitiveandshapelyinthehandthatlayonthetablebytheinstrumentinthetelegraphoffice。InhisyouthWashWilliamshadbeencalledthebesttelegraphoperatorinthestate,andinspiteofhisdegradementtotheobscureofficeatWinesburg,hewasstillproudofhisability。 WashWilliamsdidnotassociatewiththemenofthetowninwhichhelived。\"I\'llhavenothingtodowiththem,\"hesaid,lookingwithblearyeyesatthemenwhowalkedalongthestationplatformpastthetelegraphoffice。UpalongMainStreethewentintheeveningtoEdGriffith\'ssaloon,andafterdrink- ingunbelievablequantitiesofbeerstaggeredofftohisroomintheNewWillardHouseandtohisbedforthenight。 WashWilliamswasamanofcourage。Athinghadhappenedtohimthatmadehimhatelife,andhehateditwholeheartedly,withtheabandonofapoet。Firstofall,hehatedwomen。\"Bitches,\"hecalledthem。Hisfeelingtowardmenwassomewhatdifferent。Hepitiedthem。\"Doesnoteverymanlethislifebemanagedforhimbysomebitchoran- other?\"heasked。 InWinesburgnoattentionwaspaidtoWashWil- liamsandhishatredofhisfellows。OnceMrs。 White,thebanker\'swife,complainedtothetele- graphcompany,sayingthattheofficeinWinesburgwasdirtyandsmelledabominably,butnothingcameofhercomplaint。Hereandthereamanre- spectedtheoperator。Instinctivelythemanfeltinhimaglowingresentmentofsomethinghehadnotthecouragetoresent。WhenWashwalkedthroughthestreetssuchaonehadaninstincttopayhimhomage,toraisehishatortobowbeforehim。Thesuperintendentwhohadsupervisionoverthetele- graphoperatorsontherailroadthatwentthroughWinesburgfeltthatway。HehadputWashintotheobscureofficeatWinesburgtoavoiddischarginghim,andhemeanttokeephimthere。Whenhereceivedtheletterofcomplaintfromthebanker\'swife,hetoreitupandlaughedunpleasantly。Forsomereasonhethoughtofhisownwifeashetoreuptheletter。 WashWilliamsoncehadawife。WhenhewasstillayoungmanhemarriedawomanatDayton,Ohio。 Thewomanwastallandslenderandhadblueeyesandyellowhair。Washwashimselfacomelyyouth。 Helovedthewomanwithaloveasabsorbingasthehatredhelaterfeltforallwomen。 InallofWinesburgtherewasbutonepersonwhoknewthestoryofthethingthathadmadeuglythepersonandthecharacterofWashWilliams。HeoncetoldthestorytoGeorgeWillardandthetellingofthetalecameaboutinthisway: GeorgeWillardwentoneeveningtowalkwithBelleCarpenter,atrimmerofwomen\'shatswhoworkedinamillineryshopkeptbyMrs。KateMcHugh。Theyoungmanwasnotinlovewiththewoman,who,infact,hadasuitorwhoworkedasbartenderinEdGriffith\'ssaloon,butastheywalkedaboutunderthetreestheyoccasionallyembraced。 Thenightandtheirownthoughtshadarousedsomethinginthem。AstheywerereturningtoMainStreettheypassedthelittlelawnbesidetherailroadstationandsawWashWilliamsapparentlyasleeponthegrassbeneathatree。OnthenexteveningtheoperatorandGeorgeWillardwalkedouttogether。 Downtherailroadtheywentandsatonapileofdecayingrailroadtiesbesidethetracks。Itwasthenthattheoperatortoldtheyoungreporterhisstoryofhate。 PerhapsadozentimesGeorgeWillardandthestrange,shapelessmanwholivedathisfather\'shotelhadbeenonthepointoftalking。Theyoungmanlookedatthehideous,leeringfacestaringaboutthehoteldiningroomandwasconsumedwithcuriosity。Somethinghesawlurkinginthestar- ingeyestoldhimthatthemanwhohadnothingtosaytoothershadneverthelesssomethingtosaytohim。Onthepileofrailroadtiesonthesummereve- ning,hewaitedexpectantly。Whentheoperatorre- mainedsilentandseemedtohavechangedhismindabouttalking,hetriedtomakeconversation。\"Wereyouevermarried,Mr。Williams?\"hebegan。\"Isup- poseyouwereandyourwifeisdead,isthatit?\" WashWilliamsspatforthasuccessionofvileoaths。\"Yes,sheisdead,\"heagreed。\"Sheisdeadasallwomenaredead。Sheisaliving-deadthing,walkinginthesightofmenandmakingtheearthfoulbyherpresence。\"Staringintotheboy\'seyes,themanbecamepurplewithrage。\"Don\'thavefoolnotionsinyourhead,\"hecommanded。\"Mywife,sheisdead;yes,surely。Itellyou,allwomenaredead,mymother,yourmother,thattalldarkwomanwhoworksinthemillinerystoreandwithwhomIsawyouwalkingaboutyesterday——allofthem,theyarealldead。Itellyouthereissomethingrottenaboutthem。Iwasmarried,sure。Mywifewasdeadbeforeshemarriedme,shewasafoulthingcomeoutawomanmorefoul。Shewasathingsenttomakelifeunbearabletome。Iwasafool,doyousee,asyouarenow,andsoImarriedthiswoman。 Iwouldliketoseemenalittlebegintounderstandwomen。Theyaresenttopreventmenmakingtheworldworthwhile。ItisatrickinNature。Ugh!Theyarecreeping,crawling,squirmingthings,theywiththeirsofthandsandtheirblueeyes。Thesightofawomansickensme。WhyIdon\'tkilleverywomanIseeIdon\'tknow。\" Halffrightenedandyetfascinatedbythelightburningintheeyesofthehideousoldman,GeorgeWillardlistened,afirewithcuriosity。Darknesscameonandheleanedforwardtryingtoseethefaceofthemanwhotalked。When,inthegatheringdark- ness,hecouldnolongerseethepurple,bloatedfaceandtheburningeyes,acuriousfancycametohim。 WashWilliamstalkedinloweventonesthatmadehiswordsseemthemoreterrible。Inthedarknesstheyoungreporterfoundhimselfimaginingthathesatontherailroadtiesbesideacomelyyoungmanwithblackhairandblackshiningeyes。TherewassomethingalmostbeautifulinthevoiceofWashWil- liams,thehideous,tellinghisstoryofhate。 ThetelegraphoperatorofWinesburg,sittinginthedarknessontherailroadties,hadbecomeapoet。 Hatredhadraisedhimtothatelevation。\"ItisbecauseIsawyoukissingthelipsofthatBelleCarpenterthatItellyoumystory,\"hesaid。\"Whathappenedtomemaynexthappentoyou。Iwanttoputyouonyourguard。Alreadyyoumaybehavingdreamsinyourhead。Iwanttodestroythem。\" WashWilliamsbegantellingthestoryofhismar- riedlifewiththetallblondegirlwiththeblueeyeswhomhehadmetwhenhewasayoungoperatoratDayton,Ohio。Hereandtherehisstorywastouchedwithmomentsofbeautyintermingledwithstringsofvilecurses。Theoperatorhadmarriedthedaughterofadentistwhowastheyoungestofthreesisters。Onhismarriageday,becauseofhisability,hewaspromotedtoapositionasdispatcheratanincreasedsalaryandsenttoanofficeatColumbus,Ohio。Therehesettleddownwithhisyoungwifeandbeganbuyingahouseontheinstallmentplan。 Theyoungtelegraphoperatorwasmadlyinlove。 Withakindofreligiousfervorhehadmanagedtogothroughthepitfallsofhisyouthandtoremainvirginaluntilafterhismarriage。HemadeforGeorgeWillardapictureofhislifeinthehouseatColum- bus,Ohio,withtheyoungwife。\"inthegardenbackofourhouseweplantedvegetables,\"hesaid,\"youknow,peasandcornandsuchthings。WewenttoColumbusinearlyMarchandassoonasthedaysbecamewarmIwenttoworkinthegarden。WithaspadeIturneduptheblackgroundwhilesheranaboutlaughingandpretendingtobeafraidofthewormsIuncovered。LateinAprilcametheplanting。 Inthelittlepathsamongtheseedbedsshestoodholdingapaperbaginherhand。Thebagwasfilledwithseeds。AfewatatimeshehandedmetheseedsthatImightthrustthemintothewarm,softground。\" Foramomenttherewasacatchinthevoiceofthemantalkinginthedarkness。\"Ilovedher,\"hesaid。\"Idon\'tclaimnottobeafool。Iloveheryet。 ThereintheduskinthespringeveningIcrawledalongtheblackgroundtoherfeetandgroveledbe- foreher。Ikissedhershoesandtheanklesabovehershoes。WhenthehemofhergarmenttouchedmyfaceItrembled。WhenaftertwoyearsofthatlifeIfoundshehadmanagedtoacquirethreeotherlov- erswhocameregularlytoourhousewhenIwasawayatwork,Ididn\'twanttotouchthemorher。 Ijustsentherhometohermotherandsaidnothing。 Therewasnothingtosay。Ihadfourhundreddol- larsinthebankandIgaveherthat。Ididn\'taskherreasons。Ididn\'tsayanything。WhenshehadgoneIcriedlikeasillyboy。PrettysoonIhadachancetosellthehouseandIsentthatmoneytoher。\" WashWilliamsandGeorgeWillardarosefromthepileofrailroadtiesandwalkedalongthetrackstowardtown。Theoperatorfinishedhistalequickly,breathlessly。 \"Hermothersentforme,\"hesaid。\"ShewrotemealetterandaskedmetocometotheirhouseatDayton。WhenIgotthereitwaseveningaboutthistime。\" WashWilliams\'voicerosetoahalfscream。\"Isatintheparlorofthathousetwohours。Hermothertookmeinthereandleftme。Theirhousewasstyl- ish。Theywerewhatiscalledrespectablepeople。 Therewereplushchairsandacouchintheroom。I wastremblingallover。IhatedthemenIthoughthadwrongedher。Iwassickoflivingaloneandwantedherback。ThelongerIwaitedthemorerawandtenderIbecame。IthoughtthatifshecameinandjusttouchedmewithherhandIwouldperhapsfaintaway。Iachedtoforgiveandforget。\" WashWilliamsstoppedandstoodstaringatGeorgeWillard。Theboy\'sbodyshookasfromachill。Againtheman\'svoicebecamesoftandlow。\"Shecameintotheroomnaked,\"hewenton。\"Hermotherdidthat。WhileIsatthereshewastakingthegirl\'sclothesoff,perhapscoaxinghertodoit。FirstI heardvoicesatthedoorthatledintoalittlehallwayandthenitopenedsoftly。Thegirlwasashamedandstoodperfectlystillstaringatthefloor。Themotherdidn\'tcomeintotheroom。Whenshehadpushedthegirlinthroughthedoorshestoodinthehallwaywaiting,hopingwewould——well,yousee—— waiting。\" GeorgeWillardandthetelegraphoperatorcameintothemainstreetofWinesburg。Thelightsfromthestorewindowslaybrightandshiningonthesidewalks。Peoplemovedaboutlaughingandtalk- ing。Theyoungreporterfeltillandweak。Inimagi- nation,healsobecameoldandshapeless。\"Ididn\'tgetthemotherkilled,\"saidWashWilliams,staringupanddownthestreet。\"Istruckheroncewithachairandthentheneighborscameinandtookitaway。Shescreamedsoloudyousee。Iwon\'teverhaveachancetokillhernow。Shediedofafeveramonthafterthathappened。\" THETHINKER THEHOUSEinwhichSethRichmondofWinesburglivedwithhismotherhadbeenatonetimetheshowplaceofthetown,butwhenyoungSethlivedthereitsgloryhadbecomesomewhatdimmed。ThehugebrickhousewhichBankerWhitehadbuiltonBuck- eyeStreethadovershadowedit。TheRichmondplacewasinalittlevalleyfaroutattheendofMainStreet。Farmerscomingintotownbyadustyroadfromthesouthpassedbyagroveofwalnuttrees,skirtedtheFairGroundwithitshighboardfencecoveredwithadvertisements,andtrottedtheirhorsesdownthroughthevalleypasttheRichmondplaceintotown。AsmuchofthecountrynorthandsouthofWinesburgwasdevotedtofruitandberryraising,Sethsawwagon-loadsofberrypickers——boys,girls,andwomen——goingtothefieldsinthemorningandreturningcoveredwithdustintheevening。Thechatteringcrowd,withtheirrudejokescriedoutfromwagontowagon,sometimesirritatedhimsharply。Heregrettedthathealsocouldnotlaughboisterously,shoutmeaninglessjokesandmakeofhimselfafigureintheendlessstreamofmoving,gigglingactivitythatwentupanddowntheroad。 TheRichmondhousewasbuiltoflimestone,and,althoughitwassaidinthevillagetohavebecomerundown,hadinrealitygrownmorebeautifulwitheverypassingyear。Alreadytimehadbegunalittletocolorthestone,lendingagoldenrichnesstoitssurfaceandintheeveningorondarkdaystouchingtheshadedplacesbeneaththeeaveswithwaveringpatchesofbrownsandblacks。 ThehousehadbeenbuiltbySeth\'sgrandfather,astonequarryman,andit,togetherwiththestonequarriesonLakeErieeighteenmilestothenorth,hadbeenlefttohisson,ClarenceRichmond,Seth\'sfather。ClarenceRichmond,aquietpassionatemanextraordinarilyadmiredbyhisneighbors,hadbeenkilledinastreetfightwiththeeditorofanewspaperinToledo,Ohio。ThefightconcernedthepublicationofClarenceRichmond\'snamecoupledwiththatofawomanschoolteacher,andasthedeadmanhadbeguntherowbyfiringupontheeditor,theefforttopunishtheslayerwasunsuccessful。Afterthequarryman\'sdeathitwasfoundthatmuchofthemoneylefttohimhadbeensquanderedinspecula- tionandininsecureinvestmentsmadethroughtheinfluenceoffriends。 Leftwithbutasmallincome,VirginiaRichmondhadsettleddowntoaretiredlifeinthevillageandtotheraisingofherson。Althoughshehadbeendeeplymovedbythedeathofthehusbandandfa- ther,shedidnotatallbelievethestoriesconcerninghimthatranaboutafterhisdeath。Tohermind,thesensitive,boyishmanwhomallhadinstinctivelyloved,wasbutanunfortunate,abeingtoofineforeverydaylife。\"You\'llbehearingallsortsofstories,butyouarenottobelievewhatyouhear,\"shesaidtoherson。\"Hewasagoodman,fulloftendernessforeveryone,andshouldnothavetriedtobeamanofaffairs。NomatterhowmuchIweretoplananddreamofyourfuture,Icouldnotimagineanythingbetterforyouthanthatyouturnoutasgoodamanasyourfather。\" Severalyearsafterthedeathofherhusband,Vir- giniaRichmondhadbecomealarmedatthegrowingdemandsuponherincomeandhadsetherselftothetaskofincreasingit。Shehadlearnedstenogra- phyandthroughtheinfluenceofherhusband\'sfriendsgotthepositionofcourtstenographeratthecountyseat。Thereshewentbytraineachmorningduringthesessionsofthecourt,andwhennocourtsat,spentherdaysworkingamongtherosebushesinhergarden。Shewasatall,straightfigureofawomanwithaplainfaceandagreatmassofbrownhair。 IntherelationshipbetweenSethRichmondandhismother,therewasaqualitythatevenateighteenhadbeguntocolorallofhistrafficwithmen。Analmostunhealthyrespectfortheyouthkeptthemotherforthemostpartsilentinhispresence。 Whenshedidspeaksharplytohimhehadonlytolooksteadilyintohereyestoseedawningtherethepuzzledlookhehadalreadynoticedintheeyesofotherswhenhelookedatthem。 Thetruthwasthatthesonthoughtwithremark- ableclearnessandthemotherdidnot。Sheexpectedfromallpeoplecertainconventionalreactionstolife。 Aboywasyourson,youscoldedhimandhetrem- bledandlookedatthefloor。Whenyouhadscoldedenoughheweptandallwasforgiven。Aftertheweepingandwhenhehadgonetobed,youcreptintohisroomandkissedhim。 VirginiaRichmondcouldnotunderstandwhyhersondidnotdothesethings。Aftertheseverestrepri- mand,hedidnottrembleandlookatthefloorbutinsteadlookedsteadilyather,causinguneasydoubtstoinvadehermind。Asforcreepingintohisroom—— afterSethhadpassedhisfifteenthyear,shewouldhavebeenhalfafraidtodoanythingofthekind。 Oncewhenhewasaboyofsixteen,Sethincom- panywithtwootherboysranawayfromhome。Thethreeboysclimbedintotheopendoorofanemptyfreightcarandrodesomefortymilestoatownwhereafairwasbeingheld。Oneoftheboyshadabottlefilledwithacombinationofwhiskeyandblackberrywine,andthethreesatwithlegsdan- glingoutofthecardoordrinkingfromthebottle。 Seth\'stwocompanionssangandwavedtheirhandstoidlersaboutthestationsofthetownsthroughwhichthetrainpassed。Theyplannedraidsuponthebasketsoffarmerswhohadcomewiththeirfam- iliestothefair。\"Wewillfivelikekingsandwon\'thavetospendapennytoseethefairandhorseraces,\"theydeclaredboastfully。 AfterthedisappearanceofSeth,VirginiaRich- mondwalkedupanddownthefloorofherhomefilledwithvaguealarms。Althoughonthenextdayshediscovered,throughaninquirymadebythetownmarshal,onwhatadventuretheboyshadgone,shecouldnotquietherself。AllthroughthenightshelayawakehearingtheclocktickandtellingherselfthatSeth,likehisfather,wouldcometoasuddenandviolentend。Sodeterminedwasshethattheboyshouldthistimefeeltheweightofherwraththat,althoughshewouldnotallowthemarshaltointerferewithhisadventure,shegotoutapencilandpaperandwrotedownaseriesofsharp,sting- ingreproofssheintendedtopouroutuponhim。 Thereproofsshecommittedtomemory,goingaboutthegardenandsayingthemaloudlikeanactormemorizinghispart。 Andwhen,attheendoftheweek,Sethreturned,alittlewearyandwithcoalsootinhisearsandabouthiseyes,sheagainfoundherselfunabletoreprovehim。Walkingintothehousehehunghiscaponanailbythekitchendoorandstoodlookingsteadilyather。\"Iwantedtoturnbackwithinanhourafterwehadstarted,\"heexplained。\"Ididn\'tknowwhattodo。Iknewyouwouldbebothered,butIknewalsothatifIdidn\'tgoonIwouldbeashamedofmyself。Iwentthroughwiththethingformyowngood。Itwasuncomfortable,sleepingonwetstraw,andtwodrunkenNegroescameandsleptwithus。WhenIstolealunchbasketoutofafarmer\'swagonIcouldn\'thelpthinkingofhischil- drengoingalldaywithoutfood。Iwassickofthewholeaffair,butIwasdeterminedtostickitoutuntiltheotherboyswerereadytocomeback。\" \"I\'mgladyoudidstickitout,\"repliedthemother,halfresentfully,andkissinghimupontheforeheadpretendedtobusyherselfwiththeworkaboutthehouse。 OnasummereveningSethRichmondwenttotheNewWillardHousetovisithisfriend,GeorgeWillard。Ithadrainedduringtheafternoon,butashewalkedthroughMainStreet,theskyhadpartiallyclearedandagoldenglowlitupthewest。Goingaroundacorner,heturnedinatthedoorofthehotelandbegantoclimbthestairwayleadinguptohisfriend\'sroom。Inthehotelofficetheproprietorandtwotravelingmenwereengagedinadiscussionofpolitics。 OnthestairwaySethstoppedandlistenedtothevoicesofthemenbelow。Theywereexcitedandtalkedrapidly。TomWillardwasberatingthetravel- ingmen。\"IamaDemocratbutyourtalkmakesmesick,\"hesaid。\"Youdon\'tunderstandMcKinley。 McKinleyandMarkHannaarefriends。Itisimpossi- bleperhapsforyourmindtograspthat。Ifanyonetellsyouthatafriendshipcanbedeeperandbiggerandmoreworthwhilethandollarsandcents,orevenmoreworthwhilethanstatepolitics,yousnickerandlaugh。\" Thelandlordwasinterruptedbyoneoftheguests,atall,grey-mustachedmanwhoworkedforawholesalegroceryhouse。\"DoyouthinkthatI\'velivedinClevelandalltheseyearswithoutknowingMarkHanna?\"hedemanded。\"Yourtalkispiffle。 Hannaisaftermoneyandnothingelse。ThisMcKin- leyishistool。HehasMcKinleybluffedanddon\'tyouforgetit。\" Theyoungmanonthestairsdidnotlingertoheartherestofthediscussion,butwentonupthestairwayandintothelittledarkhall。Somethinginthevoicesofthementalkinginthehotelofficestartedachainofthoughtsinhismind。Hewaslonelyandhadbeguntothinkthatlonelinesswasapartofhischaracter,somethingthatwouldalwaysstaywithhim。Steppingintoasidehallhestoodbyawindowthatlookedintoanalleyway。AtthebackofhisshopstoodAbnerGroff,thetownbaker。Histinybloodshoteyeslookedupanddownthealley- way。Inhisshopsomeonecalledthebaker,whopretendednottohear。Thebakerhadanemptymilkbottleinhishandandanangrysullenlookinhiseyes。 InWinesburg,SethRichmondwascalledthe\"deepone。\"\"He\'slikehisfather,\"mensaidashewentthroughthestreets。\"He\'llbreakoutsomeofthesedays。Youwaitandsee。\" Thetalkofthetownandtherespectwithwhichmenandboysinstinctivelygreetedhim,asallmengreetsilentpeople,hadaffectedSethRichmond\'soutlookonlifeandonhimself。He,likemostboys,wasdeeperthanboysaregivencreditforbeing,buthewasnotwhatthemenofthetown,andevenhismother,thoughthimtobe。Nogreatunderlyingpurposelaybackofhishabitualsilence,andhehadnodefiniteplanforhislife。Whentheboyswithwhomheassociatedwerenoisyandquarrelsome,hestoodquietlyatoneside。Withcalmeyeshewatchedthegesticulatinglivelyfiguresofhiscom- panions。Hewasn\'tparticularlyinterestedinwhatwasgoingon,andsometimeswonderedifhewouldeverbeparticularlyinterestedinanything。Now,ashestoodinthehalf-darknessbythewindowwatch- ingthebaker,hewishedthathehimselfmightbe- comethoroughlystirredbysomething,evenbythefitsofsullenangerforwhichBakerGroffwasnoted。 \"ItwouldbebetterformeifIcouldbecomeexcitedandwrangleaboutpoliticslikewindyoldTomWil- lard,\"hethought,asheleftthewindowandwentagainalongthehallwaytotheroomoccupiedbyhisfriend,GeorgeWillard。 GeorgeWillardwasolderthanSethRichmond,butintheratheroddfriendshipbetweenthetwo,itwashewhowasforevercourtingandtheyoungerboywhowasbeingcourted。ThepaperonwhichGeorgeworkedhadonepolicy。Itstrovetomentionbynameineachissue,asmanyaspossibleoftheinhabitantsofthevillage。Likeanexciteddog,GeorgeWillardranhereandthere,notingonhispadofpaperwhohadgoneonbusinesstothecountyseatorhadreturnedfromavisittoaneigh- boringvillage。Alldayhewrotelittlefactsuponthepad。\"A。P。Wringlethadreceivedashipmentofstrawhats。EdByerbaumandTomMarshallwereinClevelandFriday。UncleTomSinningsisbuildinganewbarnonhisplaceontheValleyRoad。\" TheideathatGeorgeWillardwouldsomedaybe- comeawriterhadgivenhimaplaceofdistinctioninWinesburg,andtoSethRichmondhetalkedcon- tinuallyofthematter,\"It\'stheeasiestofalllivestolive,\"hedeclared,becomingexcitedandboastful。 \"Hereandthereyougoandthereisnoonetobossyou。ThoughyouareinIndiaorintheSouthSeasinaboat,youhavebuttowriteandthereyouare。 WaittillIgetmynameupandthenseewhatfunI shallhave。\" InGeorgeWillard\'sroom,whichhadawindowlookingdownintoanalleywayandonethatlookedacrossrailroadtrackstoBiffCarter\'sLunchRoomfacingtherailroadstation,SethRichmondsatinachairandlookedatthefloor。GeorgeWillard,whohadbeensittingforanhouridlyplayingwithaleadpencil,greetedhimeffusively。\"I\'vebeentryingtowritealovestory,\"heexplained,laughingner- vously。Lightingapipehebeganwalkingupanddowntheroom。\"IknowwhatI\'mgoingtodo。I\'mgoingtofallinlove。I\'vebeensittinghereandthink- ingitoverandI\'mgoingtodoit。\" Asthoughembarrassedbyhisdeclaration,Georgewenttoawindowandturninghisbacktohisfriendleanedout。\"IknowwhoI\'mgoingtofallinlovewith,\"hesaidsharply。\"It\'sHelenWhite。Sheistheonlygirlintownwithany\'get-up\'toher。\" Struckwithanewidea,youngWillardturnedandwalkedtowardhisvisitor。\"Lookhere,\"hesaid。 \"YouknowHelenWhitebetterthanIdo。IwantyoutotellherwhatIsaid。YoujustgettotalkingtoherandsaythatI\'minlovewithher。Seewhatshesaystothat。Seehowshetakesit,andthenyoucomeandtellme。\" SethRichmondaroseandwenttowardthedoor。 Thewordsofhiscomradeirritatedhimunbearably。 \"Well,good-bye,\"hesaidbriefly。 Georgewasamazed。RunningforwardhestoodinthedarknesstryingtolookintoSeth\'sface。 \"What\'sthematter?Whatareyougoingtodo?Youstayhereandlet\'stalk,\"heurged。 Awaveofresentmentdirectedagainsthisfriend,themenofthetownwhowere,hethought,perpet- uallytalkingofnothing,andmostofall,againsthisownhabitofsilence,madeSethhalfdesperate。 \"Aw,speaktoheryourself,\"heburstforthandthen,goingquicklythroughthedoor,slammeditsharplyinhisfriend\'sface。\"I\'mgoingtofindHelenWhiteandtalktoher,butnotabouthim,\"hemuttered。 Sethwentdownthestairwayandoutatthefrontdoorofthehotelmutteringwithwrath。Crossingalittledustystreetandclimbingalowironrailing,hewenttosituponthegrassinthestationyard。 GeorgeWillardhethoughtaprofoundfool,andhewishedthathehadsaidsomorevigorously。Al- thoughhisacquaintanceshipwithHelenWhite,thebanker\'sdaughter,wasoutwardlybutcasual,shewasoftenthesubjectofhisthoughtsandhefeltthatshewassomethingprivateandpersonaltohimself。 \"Thebusyfoolwithhislovestories,\"hemuttered,staringbackoverhisshoulderatGeorgeWillard\'sroom,\"whydoeshenevertireofhiseternaltalking。\" ItwasberryharvesttimeinWinesburganduponthestationplatformmenandboysloadedtheboxesofred,fragrantberriesintotwoexpresscarsthatstooduponthesiding。AJunemoonwasinthesky,althoughinthewestastormthreatened,andnostreetlampswerelighted。Inthedimlightthefig- uresofthemenstandingupontheexpresstruckandpitchingtheboxesinatthedoorsofthecarswerebutdimlydiscernible。Upontheironrailingthatprotectedthestationlawnsatothermen。Pipeswerelighted。Villagejokeswentbackandforth。 Awayinthedistanceatrainwhistledandthemenloadingtheboxesintothecarsworkedwithre- newedactivity。 SetharosefromhisplaceonthegrassandwentsilentlypastthemenperchedupontherailingandintoMainStreet。Hehadcometoaresolution。\"I\'llgetoutofhere,\"hetoldhimself。\"WhatgoodamI here?I\'mgoingtosomecityandgotowork。I\'lltellmotheraboutittomorrow。\" SethRichmondwentslowlyalongMainStreet,pastWacker\'sCigarStoreandtheTownHall,andintoBuckeyeStreet。Hewasdepressedbythethoughtthathewasnotapartofthelifeinhisowntown,butthedepressiondidnotcutdeeplyashedidnotthinkofhimselfasatfault。IntheheavyshadowsofabigtreebeforeDoctorWelling\'shouse,hestoppedandstoodwatchinghalf-wittedTurkSmollet,whowaspushingawheelbarrowintheroad。Theoldmanwithhisabsurdlyboyishmindhadadozenlongboardsonthewheelbarrow,and,ashehurriedalongtheroad,balancedtheloadwithextremenicety。\"Easythere,Turk!Steadynow,oldboy!\"theoldmanshoutedtohimself,andlaughedsothattheloadofboardsrockeddangerously。 SethknewTurkSmollet,thehalfdangerousoldwoodchopperwhosepeculiaritiesaddedsomuchofcolortothelifeofthevillage。HeknewthatwhenTurkgotintoMainStreethewouldbecomethecen- terofawhirlwindofcriesandcomments,thatintruththeoldmanwasgoingfaroutofhiswayinordertopassthroughMainStreetandexhibithisskillinwheelingtheboards。\"IfGeorgeWillardwerehere,he\'dhavesomethingtosay,\"thoughtSeth。 \"Georgebelongstothistown。He\'dshoutatTurkandTurkwouldshoutathim。They\'dbothbese- cretlypleasedbywhattheyhadsaid。It\'sdifferentwithme。Idon\'tbelong。I\'llnotmakeafussaboutit,butI\'mgoingtogetoutofhere。\" Sethstumbledforwardthroughthehalf-darkness,feelinghimselfanoutcastinhisowntown。Hebegantopityhimself,butasenseoftheabsurdityofhisthoughtsmadehimsmile。Intheendhede- cidedthathewassimplyoldbeyondhisyearsandnotatallasubjectforself-pity。\"I\'mmadetogotowork。Imaybeabletomakeaplaceformyselfbysteadyworking,andImightaswellbeatit,\"hedecided。 SethwenttothehouseofBankerWhiteandstoodinthedarknessbythefrontdoor。Onthedoorhungaheavybrassknocker,aninnovationintroducedintothevillagebyHelenWhite\'smother,whohadalsoorganizedawomen\'sclubforthestudyofpo- etry。Sethraisedtheknockerandletitfall。Itsheavyclattersoundedlikeareportfromdistantguns。 \"HowawkwardandfoolishIam,\"hethought。\"IfMrs。Whitecomestothedoor,Iwon\'tknowwhattosay。\" ItwasHelenWhitewhocametothedoorandfoundSethstandingattheedgeoftheporch。Blush- ingwithpleasure,shesteppedforward,closingthedoorsoftly。\"I\'mgoingtogetoutoftown。Idon\'tknowwhatI\'lldo,butI\'mgoingtogetoutofhereandgotowork。IthinkI\'llgotoColumbus,\"hesaid。\"PerhapsI\'llgetintotheStateUniversitydownthere。Anyway,I\'mgoing。I\'lltellmothertonight。\" Hehesitatedandlookeddoubtfullyabout。\"Perhapsyouwouldn\'tmindcomingtowalkwithme?\" SethandHelenwalkedthroughthestreetsbe- neaththetrees。Heavycloudshaddriftedacrossthefaceofthemoon,andbeforetheminthedeeptwi- lightwentamanwithashortladderuponhisshoul- der。Hurryingforward,themanstoppedatthestreetcrossingand,puttingtheladderagainstthewoodenlamp-post,lightedthevillagelightssothattheirwaywashalflighted,halfdarkened,bythelampsandbythedeepeningshadowscastbythelow-branchedtrees。Inthetopsofthetreesthewindbegantoplay,disturbingthesleepingbirdssothattheyflewaboutcallingplaintively。Inthelightedspacebeforeoneofthelamps,twobatswheeledandcircled,pursuingthegatheringswarmofnightflies。 SinceSethhadbeenaboyinkneetrouserstherehadbeenahalfexpressedintimacybetweenhimandthemaidenwhonowforthefirsttimewalkedbesidehim。ForatimeshehadbeenbesetwithamadnessforwritingnoteswhichsheaddressedtoSeth。Hehadfoundthemconcealedinhisbooksatschoolandonehadbeengivenhimbyachildmetinthestreet,whileseveralhadbeendeliveredthroughthevillagepostoffice。 Thenoteshadbeenwritteninaround,boyishhandandhadreflectedamindinflamedbynovelreading。Sethhadnotansweredthem,althoughhehadbeenmovedandflatteredbysomeofthesen- tencesscrawledinpenciluponthestationeryofthebanker\'swife。Puttingthemintothepocketofhiscoat,hewentthroughthestreetorstoodbythefenceintheschoolyardwithsomethingburningathisside。Hethoughtitfinethatheshouldbethusselectedasthefavoriteoftherichestandmostat- tractivegirlintown。 HelenandSethstoppedbyafencenearwherealowdarkbuildingfacedthestreet。Thebuildinghadoncebeenafactoryforthemakingofbarrelstavesbutwasnowvacant。Acrossthestreetupontheporchofahouseamanandwomantalkedoftheirchildhood,theirvoicescomingdearlyacrosstothehalf-embarrassedyouthandmaiden。Therewasthesoundofscrapingchairsandthemanandwomancamedownthegravelpathtoawoodengate。Stand- ingoutsidethegate,themanleanedoverandkissedthewoman。\"Foroldtimes\'sake,\"hesaidand,turning,walkedrapidlyawayalongthesidewalk。 \"That\'sBelleTurner,\"whisperedHelen,andputherhandboldlyintoSeth\'shand。\"Ididn\'tknowshehadafellow。Ithoughtshewastoooldforthat。\"Sethlaugheduneasily。Thehandofthegirlwaswarmandastrange,dizzyfeelingcreptoverhim。Intohismindcameadesiretotellhersome- thinghehadbeendeterminednottotell。\"GeorgeWillard\'sinlovewithyou,\"hesaid,andinspiteofhisagitationhisvoicewaslowandquiet。\"He\'swrit- ingastory,andhewantstobeinlove。Hewantstoknowhowitfeels。Hewantedmetotellyouandseewhatyousaid。\" AgainHelenandSethwalkedinsilence。TheycametothegardensurroundingtheoldRichmondplaceandgoingthroughagapinthehedgesatonawoodenbenchbeneathabush。 OnthestreetashewalkedbesidethegirlnewanddaringthoughtshadcomeintoSethRichmond\'smind。Hebegantoregrethisdecisiontogetoutoftown。\"ItwouldbesomethingnewandaltogetherdelightfultoremainandwalkoftenthroughthestreetswithHelenWhite,\"hethought。Inimagina- tionhesawhimselfputtinghisarmaboutherwaistandfeelingherarmsclaspedtightlyabouthisneck。 Oneofthoseoddcombinationsofeventsandplacesmadehimconnecttheideaoflove-makingwiththisgirlandaspothehadvisitedsomedaysbefore。HehadgoneonanerrandtothehouseofafarmerwholivedonahillsidebeyondtheFairGroundandhadreturnedbyapaththroughafield。Atthefootofthehillbelowthefarmer\'shouseSethhadstoppedbeneathasycamoretreeandlookedabouthim。A softhummingnoisehadgreetedhisears。Foramo- menthehadthoughtthetreemustbethehomeofaswarmofbees。 Andthen,lookingdown,Sethhadseenthebeeseverywhereallabouthiminthelonggrass。Hestoodinamassofweedsthatgrewwaist-highinthefieldthatranawayfromthehillside。Theweedswereabloomwithtinypurpleblossomsandgaveforthanoverpoweringfragrance。Upontheweedsthebeesweregatheredinarmies,singingastheyworked。 Sethimaginedhimselflyingonasummereve- ning,burieddeepamongtheweedsbeneaththetree。Besidehim,inthescenebuiltinhisfancy,layHelenWhite,herhandlyinginhishand。Apeculiarreluctancekepthimfromkissingherlips,buthefelthemighthavedonethatifhewished。Instead,helayperfectlystill,lookingatherandlisteningtothearmyofbeesthatsangthesustainedmasterfulsongoflaborabovehishead。 OnthebenchinthegardenSethstirreduneasily。 Releasingthehandofthegirl,hethrusthishandsintohistrouserpockets。Adesiretoimpressthemindofhiscompanionwiththeimportanceoftheresolutionhehadmadecameoverhimandhenod- dedhisheadtowardthehouse。\"Mother\'llmakeafuss,Isuppose,\"hewhispered。\"Shehasn\'tthoughtatallaboutwhatI\'mgoingtodoinlife。ShethinksI\'mgoingtostayonhereforeverjustbeingaboy。\" Seth\'svoicebecamechargedwithboyishearnest- ness。\"Yousee,I\'vegottostrikeout。I\'vegottogettowork。It\'swhatI\'mgoodfor。\" HelenWhitewasimpressed。Shenoddedherheadandafeelingofadmirationsweptoverher。 \"Thisisasitshouldbe,\"shethought。\"Thisboyisnotaboyatall,butastrong,purposefulman。\"Cer- tainvaguedesiresthathadbeeninvadingherbodyweresweptawayandshesatupverystraightonthebench。Thethundercontinuedtorumbleandflashesofheatlightninglituptheeasternsky。Thegardenthathadbeensomysteriousandvast,aplacethatwithSethbesidehermighthavebecomethebackgroundforstrangeandwonderfuladven- tures,nowseemednomorethananordinaryWines- burgbackyard,quitedefiniteandlimitedinitsoutlines。 \"Whatwillyoudoupthere?\"shewhispered。 Sethturnedhalfaroundonthebench,strivingtoseeherfaceinthedarkness。Hethoughtherinfi- nitelymoresensibleandstraightforwardthanGeorgeWillard,andwasgladhehadcomeawayfromhisfriend。Afeelingofimpatiencewiththetownthathadbeeninhismindreturned,andhetriedtotellherofit。\"Everyonetalksandtalks,\"hebegan。\"I\'msickofit。I\'lldosomething,getintosomekindofworkwheretalkdon\'tcount。MaybeI\'lljustbeamechanicinashop。Idon\'tknow。IguessIdon\'tcaremuch。Ijustwanttoworkandkeepquiet。 That\'sallI\'vegotinmymind。\" Setharosefromthebenchandputouthishand。 Hedidnotwanttobringthemeetingtoanendbutcouldnotthinkofanythingmoretosay。\"It\'sthelasttimewe\'llseeeachother,\"hewhispered。 AwaveofsentimentsweptoverHelen。PuttingherhanduponSeth\'sshoulder,shestartedtodrawhisfacedowntowardherownupturnedface。Theactwasoneofpureaffectionandcuttingregretthatsomevagueadventurethathadbeenpresentinthespiritofthenightwouldnowneverberealized。\"I thinkI\'dbetterbegoingalong,\"shesaid,lettingherhandfallheavilytoherside。Athoughtcametoher。 \"Don\'tyougowithme;Iwanttobealone,\"shesaid。\"Yougoandtalkwithyourmother。You\'dbetterdothatnow。\" Sethhesitatedand,ashestoodwaiting,thegirlturnedandranawaythroughthehedge。Adesiretorunafterhercametohim,butheonlystoodstaring,perplexedandpuzzledbyheractionashehadbeenperplexedandpuzzledbyallofthelifeofthetownoutofwhichshehadcome。Walkingslowlytowardthehouse,hestoppedintheshadowofalargetreeandlookedathismothersittingbyalightedwindowbusilysewing。Thefeelingofloneli- nessthathadvisitedhimearlierintheeveningre- turnedandcoloredhisthoughtsoftheadventurethroughwhichhehadjustpassed。\"Huh!\"heex- claimed,turningandstaringinthedirectiontakenbyHelenWhite。\"That\'showthings\'llturnout。 She\'llbeliketherest。Isupposeshe\'llbeginnowtolookatmeinafunnyway。\"Helookedatthegroundandponderedthisthought。\"She\'llbeem- barrassedandfeelstrangewhenI\'maround,\"hewhisperedtohimself。\"That\'showit\'llbe。That\'showeverything\'llturnout。Whenitcomestolovingsomeone,itwon\'tneverbeme。It\'llbesomeoneelse——somefool——someonewhotalksalot——some- onelikethatGeorgeWillard。\" TANDY UNTILSHEWASsevenyearsoldshelivedinanoldunpaintedhouseonanunusedroadthatledoffTrunionPike。Herfathergaveherbutlittleattentionandhermotherwasdead。Thefatherspenthistimetalkingandthinkingofreligion。Heproclaimedhim- selfanagnosticandwassoabsorbedindestroyingtheideasofGodthathadcreptintothemindsofhisneighborsthatheneversawGodmanifestinghimselfinthelittlechildthat,halfforgotten,livedhereandthereonthebountyofherdeadmother\'srelatives。 AstrangercametoWinesburgandsawinthechildwhatthefatherdidnotsee。Hewasatall,red- hairedyoungmanwhowasalmostalwaysdrunk。 SometimeshesatinachairbeforetheNewWillardHousewithTomHard,thefather。AsTomtalked,declaringtherecouldbenoGod,thestrangersmiledandwinkedatthebystanders。HeandTombecamefriendsandweremuchtogether。 ThestrangerwasthesonofarichmerchantofClevelandandhadcometoWinesburgonamission。 Hewantedtocurehimselfofthehabitofdrink,andthoughtthatbyescapingfromhiscityassociatesandlivinginaruralcommunityhewouldhaveabetterchanceinthestrugglewiththeappetitethatwasdestroyinghim。 HissojourninWinesburgwasnotasuccess。Thedullnessofthepassinghoursledtohisdrinkingharderthanever。Buthedidsucceedindoingsome- thing。HegaveanamerichwithmeaningtoTomHard\'sdaughter。