第8章

类别:其他 作者:Charles Brockden Brown字数:14598更新时间:18/12/14 15:58:59
Someofthemseemtobepropitious;butwhatshouldIthinkofthosethreatsofassassinationwithwhichyouwerelatelyalarmed?Bloodshedisthetrade,andhorroristheelementofthisman。Theprocessbywhichthesympathiesofnatureareextinguishedinourhearts,bywhichevilismadeourgood,andbywhichwearemadesusceptibleofnoactivitybutintheinfliction,andnojoybutinthespectacleofwoes,isanobviousprocess。Astoanalliancewithevilgeniuses,thepowerandthemaliceofdaemonshavebeenathousandtimesexemplifiedinhumanbeings。Therearenodevilsbutthosewhicharebegottenuponselfishness,andrearedbycunning。 \"Now,indeed,thescenewaschanged。ItwasnothissecretponiardthatIdreaded。Itwasonlythesuccessofhiseffortstomakeyouaconfederateinyourowndestruction,tomakeyourwilltheinstrumentbywhichhemightbereaveyouoflibertyandhonor。 \"Itook,asusual,thepaththroughyourbrother\'sground。 Irangedwithcelerityandsilencealongthebank。Iapproachedthefence,whichdividesWieland\'sestatefromyours。Therecessinthebankbeingnearthisline,itbeingnecessaryformetopassnearit,mymindbeingtaintedwithinveteratesuspicionsconcerningyou;suspicionswhichwereindebtedfortheirstrengthtoincidentsconnectedwiththisspot;whatwonderthatitseizeduponmythoughts! \"Ileapedonthefence;butbeforeIdescendedontheoppositeside,Ipausedtosurveythescene。Leavesdroppingwithdew,andglisteninginthemoon\'srays,withnomovingobjecttomolestthedeeprepose,filledmewithsecurityandhope。Ileftthestationatlength,andtendedforward。Youwereprobablyatrest。HowshouldIcommunicatewithoutalarmingyou,theintelligenceofmyarrival?Animmediateinterviewwastobeprocured。Icouldnotbeartothinkthataminuteshouldbelostbyremissnessorhesitation。ShouldI knockatthedoor?orshouldIstandunderyourchamberwindows,whichIperceivedtobeopen,andawakenyoubymycalls? \"Thesereflectionsemployedme,asIpassedoppositetothesummer-house。Ihadscarcelygoneby,whenmyearcaughtasoundunusualatthistimeandplace。Itwasalmosttoofaintandtootransienttoallowmeadistinctperceptionofit。I stoppedtolisten;presentlyitwasheardagain,andnowitwassomewhatinalouderkey。Itwaslaughter;andunquestionablyproducedbyafemalevoice。Thatvoicewasfamiliartomysenses。Itwasyours。 \"Whenceitcame,Iwasatfirstatalosstoconjecture;butthisuncertaintyvanishedwhenitwasheardthethirdtime。I threwbackmyeyestowardstherecess。Everyotherorganandlimbwasuselesstome。Ididnotreasononthesubject。Ididnot,inadirectmanner,drawmyconclusionsfromthehour,theplace,thehilaritywhichthissoundbetokened,andthecircumstanceofhavingacompanion,whichitnolessincontestablyproved。Inaninstant,asitwere,myheartwasinvadedwithcold,andthepulsesoflifeatastand。 \"WhyshouldIgofurther?WhyshouldIreturn?ShouldInothurrytoadistancefromasound,which,thoughformerlysosweetanddelectable,wasnowmorehideousthantheshrieksofowls? \"Ihadnotimetoyieldtothisimpulse。Thethoughtofapproachingandlisteningoccurredtome。IhadnodoubtofwhichIwasconscious。Yetmycertaintywascapableofincrease。Iwaslikewisestimulatedbyasentimentthatpartookofrage。Iwasgovernedbyanhalf-formedandtempestuousresolutiontobreakinuponyourinterview,andstrikeyoudeadwithmyupbraiding。 \"Iapproachedwiththeutmostcaution。WhenIreachedtheedgeofthebankimmediatelyabovethesummer-house,IthoughtIheardvoicesfrombelow,asbusyinconversation。Thestepsintherockareclearofbushyimpediments。Theyallowedmetodescendintoacavitybesidethebuildingwithoutbeingdetected。Thustolieinwaitcouldonlybejustifiedbythemomentousnessoftheoccasion。\" HerePleyelpausedinhisnarrative,andfixedhiseyesuponme。SituatedasIwas,myhorrorandastonishmentatthistalegavewaytocompassionfortheanguishwhichthecountenanceofmyfriendbetrayed。Ireflectedonhisforceofunderstanding。 Ireflectedonthepowersofmyenemy。Icouldeasilydivinethesubstanceoftheconversationthatwasoverheard。Carwinhadconstructedhisplotinamannersuitedtothecharactersofthosewhomhehadselectedforhisvictims。IsawthattheconvictionsofPleyelwereimmutable。Iforboretostruggleagainstthestorm,becauseIsawthatallstruggleswouldbefruitless。Iwascalm;butmycalmnesswasthetorporofdespair,andnotthetranquillityoffortitude。ItwascalmnessinvinciblebyanythingthathisgriefandhisfurycouldsuggesttoPleyel。Heresumed—— \"Woman!wiltthouhearmefurther?ShallIgoontorepeattheconversation?Isitshamethatmakestheetongue-tied? ShallIgoon?orartthousatisfiedwithwhathasbeenalreadysaid?\" Ibowedmyhead。\"Goon,\"saidI。\"Imakenotthisrequestinthehopeofundeceivingyou。Ishallnolongercontendwithmyownweakness。Thestormisletloose,andIshallpeaceablysubmittobedrivenbyitsfury。Butgoon。Thisconferencewillendonlywithaffordingmeaclearerforesightofmydestiny;butthatwillbesomesatisfaction,andIwillnotpartwithoutit。\" Why,onhearingthesewords,didPleyelhesitate?Didsomeunlooked-fordoubtinsinuateitselfintohismind?Washisbeliefsuddenlyshakenbymylooks,ormywords,orbysomenewlyrecollectedcircumstance?Whencesoeveritarose,itcouldnotendurethetestofdeliberation。Inafewminutestheflameofresentmentwasagainlightedupinhisbosom。Heproceededwithhisaccustomedvehemence—— \"Ihatemyselfforthisfolly。Icanfindnoapologyforthistale。YetIamirresistiblyimpelledtorelateit。Shethathearsmeisapprizedofeveryparticular。Ihaveonlytorepeattoherherownwords。Shewilllistenwithatranquilair,andthespectacleofherobduracywilldrivemetosomedesperateact。WhythenshouldIpersist!yetpersistImust。\" Againhepaused。\"No,\"saidhe,\"itisimpossibletorepeatyouravowalsoflove,yourappealstoformerconfessionsofyourtenderness,toformerdeedsofdishonor,tothecircumstancesofthefirstinterviewthattookplacebetweenyou。ItwasonthatnightwhenItracedyoutothisrecess。Thitherhadheenticedyou,andtherehadyouratifiedanunhallowedcompactbyadmittinghim—— \"GreatGod!Thouwitnessedsttheagoniesthattoremybosomatthatmoment!Thouwitnessedstmyeffortstorepelthetestimonyofmyears!Itwasinvainthatyoudweltupontheconfusionwhichmyunlooked-forsummonsexcitedinyou;thetardinesswithwhichasuitableexcuseoccurredtoyou;yourresentmentthatmyimpertinentintrusionhadputanendtothatcharminginterview:Adisappointmentforwhichyouendeavouredtocompensateyourself,bythefrequencyanddurationofsubsequentmeetings。 \"Invainyoudweltuponincidentsofwhichyouonlycouldbeconscious;incidentsthatoccurredonoccasionsonwhichnonebesideyourownfamilywerewitnesses。Invainwasyourdiscoursecharacterizedbypeculiaritiesinimitableofsentimentandlanguage。Myconvictionwaseffectedonlybyanaccumulationofthesametokens。Iyieldednotbuttoevidencewhichtookawaythepowertowithholdmyfaith。 \"Mysightwasofnousetome。Beneathsothickanumbrage,thedarknesswasintense。Hearingwastheonlyavenuetoinformation,whichthecircumstancesallowedtobeopen。Iwascouchedwithinthreefeetofyou。WhyshouldIapproachnearer? Icouldnotcontendwithyourbetrayer。Whatcouldbethepurposeofacontest?Youstoodinnoneedofaprotector。 WhatcouldIdo,butretirefromthespotoverwhelmedwithconfusionanddismay?Isoughtmychamber,andendeavouredtoregainmycomposure。Thedoorofthehouse,whichIfoundopen,yoursubsequententrance,closing,andfasteningit,andgoingintoyourchamber,whichhadbeenthuslongdeserted,wereonlyconfirmationsofthetruth。 \"WhyshouldIpaintthetempestuousfluctuationofmythoughtsbetweengriefandrevenge,betweenrageanddespair? WhyshouldIrepeatmyvowsofeternalimplacabilityandpersecution,andthespeedyrecantationofthesevows? \"Ihavesaidenough。Youhavedismissedmefromaplaceinyouresteem。WhatIthink,andwhatIfeel,isofnoimportanceinyoureyes。MaythedutywhichIowemyselfenablemetoforgetyourexistence。InafewminutesIgohence。Bethemakerofyourfortune,andmayadversityinstructyouinthatwisdom,whicheducationwasunabletoimparttoyou。\" ThosewerethelastwordswhichPleyeluttered。Helefttheroom,andmynewemotionsenabledmetowitnesshisdeparturewithoutanyapparentlossofcomposure。AsIsatalone,I ruminatedontheseincidents。NothingwasmoreevidentthanthatIhadtakenaneternalleaveofhappiness。Lifewasaworthlessthing,separatefromthatgoodwhichhadnowbeenwrestedfromme;yetthesentimentthatnowpossessedmehadnotendencytopalsymyexertions,andoverbearmystrength。I noticedthatthelightwasdeclining,andperceivedtheproprietyofleavingthishouse。Iplacedmyselfagaininthechaise,andreturnedslowlytowardsthecity。 ChapterXV BeforeIreachedthecityitwasdusk。ItwasmypurposetospendthenightatMettingen。Iwasnotsolicitous,aslongasIwasattendedbyafaithfulservant,tobethereatanearlyhour。Myexhaustedstrengthrequiredmetotakesomerefreshment。Withthisview,andinordertopayrespecttoonewhoseaffectionformewastrulymaternal,IstoppedatMrs。 Baynton\'s。Shewasabsentfromhome;butIhadscarcelyenteredthehousewhenoneofherdomesticspresentedmealetter。I openedandreadasfollows: \"ToClaraWieland,\"WhatshallIsaytoextenuatethemisconductoflastnight? Itismydutytorepairittotheutmostofmypower,buttheonlywayinwhichitcanberepaired,youwillnot,Ifear,beprevailedontoadopt。Itisbygrantingmeaninterview,atyourownhouse,ateleveno\'clockthisnight。Ihavenomeansofremovinganyfearsthatyoumayentertainofmydesigns,butmysimpleandsolemndeclarations。These,afterwhathaspassedbetweenus,youmaydeemunworthyofconfidence。Icannothelpit。Myfollyandrashnesshasleftmenootherresource。I willbeatyourdoorbythathour。Ifyouchusetoadmitmetoaconference,providedthatconferencehasnowitnesses,Iwilldisclosetoyouparticulars,theknowledgeofwhichisoftheutmostimportancetoyourhappiness。Farewell。 CARWIN。\" Whataletterwasthis!Amanknowntobeanassassinandrobber;onecapableofplottingagainstmylifeandmyfame; detectedlurkinginmychamber,andavowingdesignsthemostflagitiousanddreadful,nowsolicitsmetogranthimamidnightinterview!Toadmithimaloneintomypresence!Couldhemakethisrequestwiththeexpectationofmycompliance?Whathadheseeninme,thatcouldjustifyhiminadmittingsowildabelief?Yetthisrequestispreferredwiththeutmostgravity。 Itisnotaccompaniedbyanappearanceofuncommonearnestness。 Hadthemisconducttowhichhealludesbeenaslightincivility,andtheinterviewrequestedtotakeplaceinthemidstofmyfriends,therewouldhavebeennoextravaganceinthetenorofthisletter;but,asitwas,thewriterhadsurelybeenbereftofhisreason。 Iperusedthisepistlefrequently。Therequestitcontainedmightbecalledaudaciousorstupid,ifithadbeenmadebyadifferentperson;butfromCarwin,whocouldnotbeunawareoftheeffectwhichitmustnaturallyproduce,andofthemannerinwhichitwouldunavoidablybetreated,itwasperfectlyinexplicable。Hemusthavecountedonthesuccessofsomeplot,inordertoextortmyassent。NoneofthosemotivesbywhichI amusuallygovernedwouldeverhavepersuadedmetomeetanyoneofhissex,atthetimeandplacewhichhehadprescribed。MuchlesswouldIconsenttoameetingwithaman,taintedwiththemostdetestablecrimes,andbywhoseartsmyownsafetyhadbeensoimminentlyendangered,andmyhappinessirretrievablydestroyed。Ishudderedattheideathatsuchameetingwaspossible。Ifeltsomereluctancetoapproachaspotwhichhestillvisitedandhaunted。 Suchweretheideaswhichfirstsuggestedthemselvesontheperusaloftheletter。Meanwhile,Iresumedmyjourney。Mythoughtsstilldweltuponthesametopic。Graduallyfromruminatingonthisepistle,IrevertedtomyinterviewwithPleyel。Irecalledtheparticularsofthedialoguetowhichhehadbeenanauditor。Myheartsunkanewonviewingtheinextricablecomplexityofthisdeception,andtheinauspiciousconcurrenceofevents,whichtendedtoconfirmhiminhiserror。 Whenheapproachedmychamberdoor,myterrorkeptmemute。Heputhisear,perhaps,tothecrevice,butitcaughtthesoundofnothinghuman。HadIcalled,ormadeanytokenthatdenotedsomeonetobewithin,wordswouldhaveensued;andasomnipresencewasimpossible,thisdiscovery,andtheartlessnarrativeofwhathadjustpassed,wouldhavesavedmefromhismurderousinvectives。Hewentintohischamber,andaftersomeinterval,Istoleacrosstheentryanddownthestairs,withinaudiblesteps。Havingsecuredtheouterdoors,Ireturnedwithlesscircumspection。HeheardmenotwhenIdescended;butmyreturningstepswereeasilydistinguished。Nowhethoughtwastheguiltyinterviewatanend。Inwhatotherwaywasitpossibleforhimtoconstruethesesignals? Howfallaciousandprecipitatewasmydecision!Carwin\'splotoweditssuccesstoacoincidenceofeventsscarcelycredible。Thebalancewasswayedfromitsequipoisebyahair。 HadIevenbeguntheconversationwithanaccountofwhatbefelmeinmychamber,mypreviousinterviewwithWielandwouldhavetaughthimtosuspectmeofimposture;yet,ifIwerediscoursingwiththisruffian,whenPleyeltouchedthelockofmychamberdoor,andwhenheshuthisowndoorwithsomuchviolence,how,hemightask,shouldIbeabletorelatetheseincidents?Perhapshehadwithheldtheknowledgeofthesecircumstancesfrommybrother,fromwhom,therefore,Icouldnotobtainit,sothatmyinnocencewouldhavethusbeenirresistiblydemonstrated。 Thefirstimpulsewhichflowedfromtheseideaswastoreturnuponmysteps,anddemandoncemoreaninterview;buthewasgone:hispartingdeclarationswereremembered。 Pleyel,Iexclaimed,thouartgoneforever!Arethymistakesbeyondthereachofdetection?AmIhelplessinthemidstofthissnare?Theplotterisathand。Heevenspeaksinthestyleofpenitence。Hesolicitsaninterviewwhichhepromisesshallendinthedisclosureofsomethingmomentoustomyhappiness。Whatcanhesaywhichwillavailtoturnasidethisevil?Butwhyshouldhisremorsebefeigned?Ihavedonehimnoinjury。Hiswickednessisfertileonlyofdespair;andthebillowsofremorsewillsometimeoverbearhim。Whymaynotthiseventhavealreadytakenplace?WhyshouldIrefusetoseehim? Thisideawaspresent,asitwere,foramoment。Isuddenlyrecoiledfromit,confoundedatthatfrenzywhichcouldgiveevenmomentaryharbourtosuchascheme;yetpresentlyitreturned。AtlengthIevenconceivedittodeservedeliberation。Iquestionedwhetheritwasnotpropertoadmit,atalonelyspot,inasacredhour,thismanoftremendousandinscrutableattributes,thisperformerofhorriddeeds,andwhosepresencewaspredictedtocalldownunheard-ofandunutterablehorrors。 Whatwasitthatswayedme?Ifeltmyselfdivestedofthepowertowillcontrarytothemotivesthatdeterminedmetoseekhispresence。Mymindseemedtobesplitintoseparateparts,andthesepartstohaveenteredintofuriousandimplacablecontention。Thesetumultsgraduallysubsided。ThereasonswhyIshouldconfideinthatinterpositionwhichhadhithertodefendedme;inthosetokensofcompunctionwhichthislettercontained;intheefficacyofthisinterviewtorestoreitsspotlessnesstomycharacter,andbanishallillusionsfromthemindofmyfriend,continuallyacquirednewevidenceandnewstrength。 WhatshouldIfearinhispresence?Thiswasunlikeanartificeintendedtobetraymeintohishands。Ifitwereanartifice,whatpurposewoulditserve?Thefreedomofmymindwasuntouched,andthatfreedomwoulddefytheassaultsofblandishmentsormagic。ForcewasInotabletorepel。Ontheformeroccasionmycourage,itistrue,hadfailedattheimminentapproachofdanger;butthenIhadnotenjoyedopportunitiesofdeliberation;Ihadforeseennothing;Iwassunkintoimbecilitybymypreviousthoughts;Ihadbeenthevictimofrecentdisappointmentsandanticipatedills:Witnessmyinfatuationinopeningtheclosetinoppositiontodivineinjunctions。 Now,perhaps,mycouragewastheoffspringofanolesserringprinciple。Pleyelwasforeverlosttome。Istroveinvaintoassumehisperson,andsuppressmyresentment;Istroveinvaintobelieveintheassuaginginfluenceoftime,tolookforwardtothebirth-dayofnewhopes,andthere-exaltationofthatluminary,ofwhoseeffulgenciesIhadsolongandsoliberallypartaken。 WhathadItosufferworsethanwasalreadyinflicted? WasnotCarwinmyfoe?Iowedmyuntimelyfatetohistreason。Insteadofflyingfromhispresence,oughtInottodevoteallmyfacultiestothegainingofaninterview,andcompelhimtorepairtheillsofwhichhehasbeentheauthor? WhyshouldIsupposehimimpregnabletoargument?HaveInotreasononmyside,andthepowerofimpartingconviction? CannothebemadetoseethejusticeofunravellingthemazeinwhichPleyelisbewildered? Hemay,atleast,beaccessibletofear。Hashenothingtofearfromtherageofaninjuredwoman?Butsupposehiminaccessibletosuchinducements;supposehimtopersistinallhisflagitiouspurposes;arenotthemeansofdefenceandresistanceinmypower? Intheprogressofsuchthoughts,wastheresolutionatlastformed。Ihopedthattheinterviewwassoughtbyhimforalaudableend;but,bethatasitwould,Itrustedthat,byenergyofreasoningorofaction,Ishouldrenderitauspicious,or,atleast,harmless。 Suchadeterminationmustunavoidablyfluctuate。Thepoet\'schaoswasnounaptemblemofthestateofmymind。Atormentwasawakenedinmybosom,whichIforesawwouldendonlywhenthisinterviewwaspast,anditsconsequencesfullyexperienced。 HencemyimpatienceforthearrivalofthehourwhichhadbeenprescribedbyCarwin。 Meanwhile,mymeditationsweretumultuouslyactive。Newimpedimentstotheexecutionoftheschemewerespeedilysuggested。IhadapprizedCatharineofmyintentiontospendthisandmanyfuturenightswithher。Herhusbandwasinformedofthisarrangement,andhadzealouslyapprovedit。Eleveno\'clockexceededtheirhourofretiring。WhatexcuseshouldI formforchangingmyplan?ShouldIshewthislettertoWieland,andsubmitmyselftohisdirection?ButIknewinwhatwayhewoulddecide。Hewouldferventlydissuademefromgoing。 Nay,wouldhenotdomore?HewasapprizedoftheoffencesofCarwin,andoftherewardofferedforhisapprehension。Wouldhenotseizethisopportunityofexecutingjusticeonacriminal? Thisideawasnew。Iwasplungedoncemoreintodoubt。Didnotequityenjoinmethustofacilitatehisarrest?No。I disdainedtheofficeofbetrayer。Carwinwasunapprizedofhisdanger,andhisintentionswerepossiblybeneficent。ShouldI stationguardsaboutthehouse,andmakeanact,intendedperhapsformybenefit,instrumentaltohisowndestruction? WielandmightbejustifiedinthusemployingtheknowledgewhichIshouldimpart,butI,byimpartingit,shouldpollutemyselfwithmorehatefulcrimesthanthoseundeservedlyimputedtome。 Thisscheme,therefore,Iunhesitatinglyrejected。TheviewswithwhichIshouldreturntomyownhouse,itwouldthereforebenecessarytoconceal。Yetsomepretextmustbeinvented。I hadneverbeeninitiatedintothetradeoflying。Yetwhatbutfalshoodwasadeliberatesuppressionofthetruth?Todeceivebysilenceorbywordsisthesame。 Yetwhatwouldalieavailme?Whatpretextwouldjustifythischangeinmyplan?WoulditnottendtoconfirmtheimputationsofPleyel?ThatIshouldvoluntarilyreturntoanhouseinwhichhonorandlifehadsolatelybeenendangered,couldbeexplainedinnowayfavorabletomyintegrity。 Thesereflections,iftheydidnotchange,atleastsuspendedmydecision。InthisstateofuncertaintyIalightedattheHUT。Wegavethisnametothehousetenantedbythefarmerandhisservants,andwhichwassituatedonthevergeofmybrother\'sground,andataconsiderabledistancefromthemansion。Thepathtothemansionwasplantedbyadoublerowofwalnuts。AlongthispathIproceededalone。Ienteredtheparlour,inwhichwasalightjustexpiringinthesocket。 Therewasnooneintheroom。Iperceivedbytheclockthatstoodagainstthewall,thatitwasneareleven。Thelatenessofthehourstartledme。Whathadbecomeofthefamily?Theywereusuallyretiredanhourbeforethis;buttheunextinguishedtaper,andtheunbarreddoorwereindicationsthattheyhadnotretired。Iagainreturnedtothehall,andpassedfromoneroomtoanother,butstillencounterednotahumanbeing。 Iimaginedthat,perhaps,thelapseofafewminuteswouldexplaintheseappearances。MeanwhileIreflectedthatthepreconcertedhourhadarrived。Carwinwasperhapswaitingmyapproach。ShouldIimmediatelyretiretomyownhouse,noonewouldbeapprizedofmyproceeding。Nay,theinterviewmightpass,andIbeenabledtoreturninhalfanhour。Hencenonecessitywouldarisefordissimulation。 IwassofarinfluencedbytheseviewsthatIrosetoexecutethisdesign;butagaintheunusualconditionofthehouseoccurredtome,andsomevaguesolicitudeastotheconditionofthefamily。Iwasnearlycertainthatmybrotherhadnotretired;butbywhatmotiveshecouldbeinducedtodeserthishousethusunseasonablyIcouldbynomeansdivine。LouisaConway,atleast,wasathomeandhad,probably,retiredtoherchamber;perhapsshewasabletoimparttheinformationI wanted。 Iwenttoherchamber,andfoundherasleep。Shewasdelightedandsurprizedatmyarrival,andtoldmewithhowmuchimpatienceandanxietymybrotherandhiswifehadwaitedmycoming。Theywerefearfulthatsomemishaphadbefallenme,andhadremaineduplongerthantheusualperiod。Notwithstandingthelatenessofthehour,Catharinewouldnotresignthehopeofseeingme。Louisasaidshehadleftthembothintheparlour,andsheknewofnocausefortheirabsence。 AsyetIwasnotwithoutsolicitudeonaccountoftheirpersonalsafety。Iwasfarfrombeingperfectlyateaseonthathead,butentertainednodistinctconceptionofthedangerthatimpendedoverthem。Perhapstobeguilethemomentsofmylongprotractedstay,theyhadgonetowalkuponthebank。Theatmosphere,thoughilluminatedonlybythestar-light,wasremarkablyserene。MeanwhilethedesirablenessofaninterviewwithCarwinagainreturned,andIfinallyresolvedtoseekit。 Ipassedwithdoubtingandhastystepsalongthepath。Mydwelling,seenatadistance,wasgloomyanddesolate。Ithadnoinhabitant,formyservant,inconsequenceofmynewarrangement,hadgonetoMettingen。Thetemerityofthisattemptbegantoshewitselfinmorevividcolourstomyunderstanding。Whoeverhaspointedsteelisnotwithoutarms; yetwhatmusthavebeenthestateofmymindwhenIcouldmeditate,withoutshuddering,ontheuseofamurderousweapon,andbelievemyselfsecuremerelybecauseIwascapableofbeingmadesobythedeathofanother?Yetthiswasnotmystate。I feltasifIwasrushingintodeadlytoils,withoutthepowerofpausingorreceding。 ChapterXVI AssoonasIarrivedinsightofthefrontofthehouse,myattentionwasexcitedbyalightfromthewindowofmyownchamber。Noappearancecouldbelessexplicable。AmeetingwasexpectedwithCarwin,butthathepre-occupiedmychamber,andhadsuppliedhimselfwithlight,wasnottobebelieved。Whatmotivecouldinfluencehimtoadoptthisconduct?CouldI proceeduntilthiswasexplained?Perhaps,ifIshouldproceedtoadistanceinfront,someonewouldbevisible。Asidelongbutfeeblebeamfromthewindow,felluponthepinycopsewhichskirtedthebank。AsIeyedit,itsuddenlybecamemutable,andafterflittingtoandfro,forashorttime,itvanished。I turnedmyeyeagaintowardthewindow,andperceivedthatthelightwasstillthere;butthechangewhichIhadnoticedwasoccasionedbyachangeinthepositionofthelamporcandlewithin。Hence,thatsomepersonwastherewasanunavoidableinference。 Ipausedtodeliberateontheproprietyofadvancing。MightInotadvancecautiously,and,therefore,withoutdanger?MightInotknockatthedoor,orcall,andbeapprizedofthenatureofmyvisitantbeforeIentered?Iapproachedandlistenedatthedoor,butcouldhearnothing。Iknockedatfirsttimidly,butafterwardswithloudness。Mysignalswereunnoticed。I steppedbackandlooked,butthelightwasnolongerdiscernible。Wasitsuddenlyextinguishedbyahumanagent? Whatpurposebutconcealmentwasintended?Whywastheilluminationproduced,tobethussuddenlybroughttoanend? Andwhy,sincesomeonewasthere,hadsilencebeenobserved? Thesewerequestions,thesolutionofwhichmaybereadilysupposedtobeentangledwithdanger。Wouldnotthisdanger,whenmeasuredbyawoman\'sfears,expandintogiganticdimensions?Menacesofdeath;thestunningexertionsofawarningvoice;theknownandunknownattributesofCarwin;ourrecentinterviewinthischamber;thepre-appointmentofameetingatthisplaceandhour,allthrongedintomymemory。 Whatwastobedone? Courageisnodefiniteorstedfastprinciple。Letthatmanwhoshallpurposetoassignmotivestotheactionsofanother,blushathisfollyandforbear。Notmorepresumptuouswoulditbetoattempttheclassificationofallnature,andthescanningofsupremeintelligence。Igazedforaminuteatthewindow,andfixedmyeyes,forasecondminute,ontheground。Idrewforthfrommypocket,andopened,apenknife。This,saidI,bemysafe-guardandavenger。Theassailantshallperish,ormyselfshallfall。 Ihadlockedupthehouseinthemorning,buthadthekeyofthekitchendoorinmypocket。I,therefore,determinedtogainaccessbehind。ThitherIhastened,unlockedandentered。Allwaslonely,darksome,andwaste。FamiliarasIwaswitheverypartofmydwelling,Ieasilyfoundmywaytoacloset,drewforthataper,aflint,tinder,andsteel,and,inamomentasitwere,gavemyselftheguidanceandprotectionoflight。 WhatpurposedidImeditate?ShouldIexploremywaytomychamber,andconfrontthebeingwhohaddaredtointrudeintothisrecess,andhadlabouredforconcealment?Byputtingoutthelightdidheseektohidehimself,ormeanonlytocircumventmyincautioussteps?Yetwasitnotmoreprobablethathedesiredmyabsencebythusencouragingthesuppositionthatthehousewasunoccupied?Iwouldseethismaninspiteofallimpediments;ereIdied,Iwouldseehisface,andsummonhimtopenitenceandretribution;nomatteratwhatcostaninterviewwaspurchased。Reputationandlifemightbewrestedfrommebyanother,butmyrectitudeandhonorwereinmyownkeeping,andweresafe。 Iproceededtothefootofthestairs。Atsuchacrisismythoughtsmaybesupposedatnolibertytorange;yetvagueimagesrushedintomymind,ofthemysteriousinterpositionwhichhadbeenexperiencedonthelastnight。Mycase,atpresent,wasnotdissimilar;and,ifmyangelwerenotwearyoffruitlessexertionstosave,mightnotanewwarningbeexpected?Whocouldsaywhetherhissilencewereascribabletotheabsenceofdanger,ortohisownabsence? Inthisstateofmind,nowonderthatashiveringcoldcreptthroughmyveins;thatmypausewasprolonged;and,thatafearfulglancewasthrownbackward。 Alas!myheartdroops,andmyfingersareenervated;myideasarevivid,butmylanguageisfaint:nowknowIwhatitistoentertainincommunicablesentiments。Thechainofsubsequentincidentsisdrawnthroughmymind,andbeinglinkedwiththosewhichforewent,byturnsrouseupagoniesandsinkmeintohopelessness。 YetIwillpersisttotheend。Mynarrativemaybeinvadedbyinaccuracyandconfusion;butifIlivenolonger,Iwill,atleast,livetocompleteit。Whatbutambiguities,abruptnesses,anddarktransitions,canbeexpectedfromthehistorianwhois,atthesametime,thesuffererofthesedisasters? IhavesaidthatIcastalookbehind。Someobjectwasexpectedtobeseen,orwhyshouldIhavegazedinthatdirection?Twosenseswereatonceassailed。ThesamepiercingexclamationofHOLD!HOLD!wasutteredwithinthesamedistanceofmyear。ThisitwasthatIheard。Theairyundulation,andtheshockgiventomynerves,werereal。 WhetherthespectaclewhichIbeheldexistedinmyfancyorwithout,mightbedoubted。 IhadnotclosedthedooroftheapartmentIhadjustleft。 Thestair-case,atthefootofwhichIstood,waseightortenfeetfromthedoor,andattachedtothewallthroughwhichthedoorled。Myview,therefore,wassidelong,andtookinnopartoftheroom。 Throughthisaperturewasanheadthrustanddrawnbackwithsomuchswiftness,thattheimmediateconvictionwas,thatthusmuchofaform,ordinarilyinvisible,hadbeenunshrowded。Thefacewasturnedtowardsme。Everymusclewastense;theforeheadandbrowsweredrawnintovehementexpression;thelipswerestretchedasintheactofshrieking,andtheeyesemittedsparks,which,nodoubt,ifIhadbeenunattendedbyalight,wouldhaveilluminatedlikethecoruscationsofameteor。Thesoundandthevisionwerepresent,anddepartedtogetheratthesameinstant;butthecrywasblownintomyear,whilethefacewasmanypacesdistant。 Thisfacewaswellsuitedtoabeingwhoseperformancesexceededthestandardofhumanity,andyetitsfeatureswereakintothoseIhadbeforeseen。TheimageofCarwinwasblendedinathousandwayswiththestreamofmythoughts。Thisvisagewas,perhaps,pourtrayedbymyfancy。Ifso,itwillexcitenosurprizethatsomeofhislineamentswerenowdiscovered。Yetaffinitieswerefewandunconspicuous,andwerelostamidsttheblazeofoppositequalities。 WhatconclusioncouldIform?Bethefacehumanornot,theintimationwasimpartedfromabove。Experiencehadevincedthebenignityofthatbeingwhogaveit。Oncehehadinterposedtoshieldmefromharm,andsubsequenteventsdemonstratedtheusefulnessofthatinterposition。NowwasIagainwarnedtoforbear。Iwashurryingtothevergeofthesamegulf,andthesamepowerwasexertedtorecallmysteps。Wasitpossibleformenottoobey?WasIcapableofholdingoninthesameperilouscareer?Yes。EvenofthisIwascapable! Theintimationwasimperfect:itgavenoformtomydanger,andprescribednolimitstomycaution。Ihadformerlyneglectedit,andyetescaped。MightInottrusttothesameissue?Thisideamightpossess,thoughimperceptibly,someinfluence。Ipersisted;butitwasnotmerelyonthisaccount。 Icannotdelineatethemotivesthatledmeon。Inowspeakasifnoremnantofdoubtexistedinmymindastothesupernaloriginofthesesounds;butthisisowingtotheimperfectionofmylanguage,forIonlymeanthatthebeliefwasmorepermanent,andvisitedmorefrequentlymysobermeditationsthanitsopposite。Theimmediateeffectsservedonlytounderminethefoundationsofmyjudgmentandprecipitatemyresolutions。 Imusteitheradvanceorreturn。Ichosetheformer,andbegantoascendthestairs。Thesilenceunderwentnosecondinterruption。Mychamberdoorwasclosed,butunlocked,and,aidedbyvehementeffortsofmycourage,Iopenedandlookedin。 Nohideousoruncommonobjectwasdiscernible。Thedanger,indeed,mighteasilyhavelurkedoutofsight,havesprunguponmeasIentered,andhaverentmewithhisirontalons;butI wasblindtothisfate,andadvanced,thoughcautiously,intotheroom。 Stilleverythingworeitsaccustomedaspect。Neitherlampnorcandlewastobefound。Now,forthefirsttime,suspicionsweresuggestedastothenatureofthelightwhichIhadseen。 Wasitpossibletohavebeenthecompanionofthatsupernaturalvisage;ameteorousrefulgenceproducibleatthewillofhimtowhomthatvisagebelonged,andpartakingofthenatureofthatwhichaccompaniedmyfather\'sdeath? Theclosetwasnear,andIrememberedthecomplicatedhorrorsofwhichithadbeenproductive。Here,perhaps,wasinclosedthesourceofmyperil,andthegratificationofmycuriosity。 ShouldIadventureoncemoretoexploreitsrecesses?Thiswasaresolutionnoteasilyformed。Iwassuspendedinthought: whenglancingmyeyeonatable,Iperceivedawrittenpaper。 Carwin\'shandwasinstantlyrecognized,andsnatchingupthepaper,Ireadasfollows:—— \"Therewasfollyinexpectingyourcompliancewithmyinvitation。JudgehowIwasdisappointedinfindinganotherinyourplace。Ihavewaited,buttowaitanylongerwouldbeperilous。Ishallstillseekaninterview,butitmustbeatadifferenttimeandplace:meanwhile,Iwillwritethis——Howwillyoubear——Howinexplicablewillbethistransaction!——Aneventsounexpected——asightsohorrible!\" Suchwasthisabruptandunsatisfactoryscript。Theinkwasyetmoist,thehandwasthatofCarwin。Henceitwastobeinferredthathehadthismomentlefttheapartment,orwasstillinit。Ilookedback,onthesuddenexpectationofseeinghimbehindme。 Whatotherdidhemean?Whattransactionhadtakenplaceadversetomyexpectations?Whatsightwasabouttobeexhibited?Ilookedaroundmeoncemore,butsawnothingwhichindicatedstrangeness。AgainIrememberedthecloset,andwasresolvedtoseekinthatthesolutionofthesemysteries。Here,perhaps,wasinclosedthescenedestinedtoawakenmyhorrorsandbafflemyforesight。