第1章

类别:其他 作者:Jack London字数:21144更新时间:18/12/14 15:44:31
\"Thegods,thegodsarestronger;timeFallsdownbeforethem,allmen\'skneesBow,allmen\'sprayersandsorrowsclimbLikeincensetowardthem;yea,fortheseAregods,Felise。\" Carquinezhadrelaxedfinally。Hestoleaglanceattherattlingwindows,lookedupwardatthebeamedroof,andlistenedforamomenttothesavageroarofthesouth-easterasitcaughtthebungalowinitsbellowingjaws。 Thenheheldhisglassbetweenhimandthefireandlaughedforjoythroughthegoldenwine。 \"Itisbeautiful,\"hesaid。\"Itissweetlysweet。Itisawoman\'swine,anditwasmadeforgray-robedsaintstodrink。\" \"Wegrowitonourownwarmhills,\"Isaid,withpardonableCaliforniapride。\"Yourodeupyesterdaythroughthevinesfromwhichitwasmade。\" ItwasworthwhiletogetCarquineztoloosenup。Norwasheeverreallyhimselfuntilhefeltthemellowwarmthofthevinesinginginhisblood。 Hewasanartist,itistrue,alwaysanartist;butsomehow,sober,thehighpitchandliltwentoutofhisthought-processesandhewaspronetobeasdeadlydullasaBritishSunday——notdullasothermenaredull,butdullwhenmeasuredbythesprightlywightthatMonteCarquinezwaswhenhewasreallyhimself。 FromallthisitmustnotbeinferredthatCarquinez,whoismydearfriendanddearercomrade,wasasot。Farfromit。Herarelyerred。AsIhavesaid,hewasanartist。Heknewwhenhehadenough,andenough,withhim,wasequilibrium——theequilibriumthatisyoursandminewhenwearesober。 HiswasawiseandinstinctivetemperatenessthatsavouredoftheGreek。 YethewasfarfromGreek。\"IamAztec,IamInca,IamSpaniard,\"Ihaveheardhimsay。Andintruthhelookedit,acompoundofstrangeandancientraces,whatwithhisswarthyskinandtheasymmetryandprimitivenessofhisfeatures。Hiseyes,undermassivelyarchedbrows,werewideapartandblackwiththeblacknessthatisbarbaric,whilebeforethemwasperpetuallyfallingdownagreatblackmopofhairthroughwhichhegazedlikearoguishsatyrfromathicket。Heinvariablyworeasoftflannelshirtunderhisvelvet-corduroyjacket,andhisnecktiewasred。 Thislatterstoodfortheredflag(hehadoncelivedwiththesocialistsofParis),anditsymbolizedthebloodandbrotherhoodofman。Also,hehadneverbeenknowntowearanythingonhisheadsavealeather-bandedsombrero。Itwasevenrumouredthathehadbeenbornwiththisparticularpieceofheadgear。AndinmyexperienceitwasprovocativeofnothingshortofsheerdelighttoseethatMexicansombrerohailingacabinPiccadillyorstorm-tossedinthecrushfortheNewYorkElevated。 AsIhavesaid,Carquinezwasmadequickbywine——\"astheclaywasmadequickwhenGodbreathedthebreathoflifeintoit,\"washiswayofsayingit。IconfessthathewasblasphemouslyintimatewithGod;andImustaddthattherewasnoblasphemyinhim。Hewasatalltimeshonest,and,becausehewascompoundedofparadoxes,greatlymisunderstoodbythosewhodidnotknowhim。Hecouldbeaselementallyrawattimesasascreamingsavage;andatothertimesasdelicateasamaid,assubtleasaSpaniard。 And——well,washenotAztec?Inca?Spaniard? AndnowImustaskpardonforthespaceIhavegivenhim。(Heismyfriend,andIlovehim。)Thehousewasshakingtothestorm,ashedrewclosertothefireandlaughedatitthroughhiswine。Helookedatme,andbytheaddedlustreofhiseye,andbythealertnessofit,Iknewthatatlasthewaspitchedinhisproperkey。 \"Andsoyouthinkyou\'vewonoutagainstthegods?\"hedemanded。 \"Whythegods?\" \"Whosewillbuttheirshasputsatietyuponman?\"hecried。 \"Andwhencethewillinmetoescapesatiety?\"Iaskedtriumphantly。 \"Againthegods,\"helaughed。\"Itistheirgameweplay。Theydealandshuffleallthecards……andtakethestakes。Thinknotthatyouhaveescapedbyfleeingfromthemadcities。Youwithyourvine-cladhills,yoursunsetsandyoursunrises,yourhomelyfareandsimpleroundofliving! \"I\'vewatchedyoueversinceIcame。Youhavenotwon。Youhavesurrendered。Youhavemadetermswiththeenemy。Youhavemadeconfessionthatyouaretired。Youhaveflownthewhiteflagoffatigue。Youhavenailedupanoticetotheeffectthatlifeisebbingdowninyou。Youhaverunawayfromlife。Youhaveplayedatrick,shabbytrick。Youhavebalkedatthegame。Yourefusetoplay。Youhavethrownyourcardsunderthetableandrunawaytohide,hereamongstyourhills。\" Hetossedhisstraighthairbackfromhisflashingeyes,andscarcelyinterruptedtorollalong,brown,Mexicancigarette。 \"Butthegodsknow。Itisanoldtrick。Allthegenerationsofmanhavetriedit……andlost。Thegodsknowhowtodealwithsuchasyou。Topursueistopossess,andtopossessistobesated。Andsoyou,inyourwisdom,haverefusedanylongertopursue。Youhaveelectedsurcease。 Verywell。Youwillbecomesatedwithsurcease。Yousayyouhaveescapedsatiety!Youhavemerelybartereditforsenility。Andsenilityisanothernameforsatiety。Itissatiety\'smasquerade。Bah!\" \"Butlookatme!\"Icried。 Carquinezwaseverademonforhalingonessouloutandmakingragsandtattersofit。 Helookedmewitheringlyupanddown。 \"Youseenosigns,\"Ichallenged。 \"Decayisinsidious,\"heretorted。\"Youarerottenripe。\" Ilaughedandforgavehimforhisverydeviltry。Butherefusedtobeforgiven。 \"DoInotknow?\"heasked。\"Thegodsalwayswin。Ihavewatchedmenplayforyearswhatseemedawinninggame。Intheendtheylost。\" \"Don\'tyouevermakemistakes?\"Iasked。 Heblewmanymeditativeringsofsmokebeforereplying。 \"Yes,Iwasnearlyfooled,once。Letmetellyou。TherewasMarvinFiske。 Yourememberhim?AndhisDantesquefaceandpoet\'ssoul,singinghischantoftheflesh,theverypriestofLove?AndtherewasEthelBaird,whomalsoyoumustremember。\" \"Awarmsaint,\"Isaid。 \"Thatisshe!HolyasLove,andsweeter!Justawoman,madeforlove;andyet——howshallIsay?——drenchedthroughwithholinessasyourownairhereiswiththeperfumeofflowers。Well,theymarried。Theyplayedahandwiththegods——\" \"Andtheywon,theygloriouslywon!\"Ibrokein。 Carquinezlookedatmepityingly,andhisvoicewaslikeafuneralbell。 \"Theylost。Theysupremely,colossallylost。\" \"Buttheworldbelievesotherwise,\"Iventuredcoldly。 \"Theworldconjectures。Theworldseesonlythefaceofthings。ButI know。Hasiteverenteredyourmindtowonderwhyshetooktheveil,buriedherselfinthatdolorousconventofthelivingdead?\" \"Becauseshelovedhimso,andwhenhedied……\" SpeechwasfrozenonmylipsbyCarquinez\'ssneer。 \"Apatanswer,\"hesaid,\"machine-madelikeapieceofcotton-drill。Theworld\'sjudgment!Andmuchtheworldknowsaboutit。Likeyou,shefledfromlife。Shewasbeaten。Sheflungoutthewhiteflagoffatigue。Andnobeleagueredcityeverflewthatflaginsuchbitternessandtears。 \"NowIshalltellyouthewholetale,andyoumustbelieveme,forIknow。 Theyhadponderedtheproblemofsatiety。TheylovedLove。TheyknewtotheuttermostfarthingthevalueofLove。Theylovedhimsowellthattheywerefaintokeephimalways,warmanda-thrillintheirhearts。Theywelcomedhiscoming;theyfearedtohavehimdepart。 \"Lovewasdesire,theyheld,adeliciouspain。Hewaseverseekingeasement,andwhenhefoundthatforwhichhesought,hedied。LovedeniedwasLovealive;LovegrantedwasLovedeceased。Doyoufollowme?Theysawitwasnotthewayoflifetobehungryforwhatithas。Toeatandstillbehungry——manhasneveraccomplishedthatfeat。Theproblemofsatiety。Thatisit。Tohaveandtokeepthesharpfamine-edgeofappetiteatthegroaningboard。Thiswastheirproblem,fortheylovedLove。Oftendidtheydiscussit,withallLove\'ssweetardoursbrimmingintheireyes;hisruddybloodsprayingtheircheeks;hisvoiceplayinginandoutwiththeirvoices,nowhidingasatremolointheirthroats,andagainshadingatonewiththatineffabletendernesswhichhealonecanutter。 \"HowdoIknowallthis?Isaw——much。MoreIlearnedfromherdiary。 ThisIfoundinit,fromFionaMacleod:\'For,truly,thatwanderingvoice,thattwilight-whisper,thatbreathsodewy-sweet,thatflame-wingedlute- playerwhomnoneseesbutforamoment,inarainbow-shimmerofjoy,orasuddenlightning-flareofpassion,thisexquisitemysterywecallAmor,comes,tosomeraptvisionariesatleast,notwithasonguponthelipsthatallmayhear,orwithblitheviolofpublicmusic,butasonewroughtbyecstasy,dumblyeloquentwithdesire。\' \"Howtokeeptheflame-wingedlute-playerwithhisdumbeloquenceofdesire?Tofeasthimwastolosehim。Theirloveforeachotherwasagreatlove。Theirgranarieswereoverflowingwithplenitude;yettheywantedtokeepthesharpfamine-edgeoftheirloveundulled。 \"NorweretheyleanlittlefledglingstheorizingonthethresholdofLove。 Theywererobustandrealizedsouls。Theyhadlovedbefore,withothers,inthedaysbeforetheymet;andinthosedaystheyhadthrottledLovewithcaresses,andkilledhimwithkisses,andburiedhiminthepitofsatiety。 \"Theywerenotcoldwraiths,thismanandwoman。Theywerewarmhuman。 TheyhadnoSaxonsobernessintheirblood。Thecolourofitwassunset- red。Theyglowedwithit。TemperamentallytheirswastheFrenchjoyintheflesh。Theywereidealists,buttheiridealismwasGallic。ItwasnottemperedbythechillandsombrefluidthatfortheEnglishservesasblood。Therewasnostoicismaboutthem。TheywereAmericans,descendedoutoftheEnglish,andyettherefrainingandself-denyingoftheEnglishspirit-gropingwerenottheirs。 \"TheywereallthisthatIhavesaid,andtheyweremadeforjoy,onlytheyachievedaconcept。Acurseonconcepts!Theyplayedwithlogic,andthiswastheirlogic——Butfirstletmetellyouofatalkwehadonenight。ItwasofGautier\'sMadelinedeMaupin。Yourememberthemaid?Shekissedonce,andonceonly,andkissesshewouldhavenomore。Notthatshefoundkisseswerenotsweet,butthatshefearedwithrepetitiontheywouldcloy。 Satietyagain!Shetriedtoplaywithoutstakesagainstthegods。Nowthisiscontrarytoaruleofthegamethegodsthemselveshavemade。Onlytherulesarenotpostedoverthetable。Mortalsmustplayinordertolearntherules。 \"Well,tothelogic。Themanandthewomanarguedthus:Whykissonceonly?Iftokissoncewerewise,wasitnotwisertokissnotatall? ThuscouldtheykeepLovealive。Fasting,hewouldknockforeverattheirhearts。 \"Perhapsitwasoutoftheirhereditythattheyachievedthisunholyconcept。Thebreedwilloutandsometimesmostfantastically。ThusinthemdidcursedAlbionarrayherselfaschemingwanton,abold,cold- calculating,andartfulhussy。Afterall,Idonotknow。ButthisIknow: itwasoutoftheirinordinatedesireforjoythattheyforewentjoy。 \"Ashesaid(Ireaditlongafterwardinoneofhisletterstoher):\'Toholdyouinmyarms,close,andyetnotclose。Toyearnforyou,andnevertohaveyou,andsoalwaystohaveyou。\'Andshe:\'Foryoutobealwaysjustbeyondmyreach。Tobeeverattainingyou,andyetneverattainingyou,andforthistolastforever,alwaysfreshandnew,andalwayswiththefirstflushuponus。 \"Thatisnotthewaytheysaidit。Onmylipstheirlove-philosophyismangled。AndwhoamItodelveintotheirsoul-stuff?Iamafrog,onthedankedgeofagreatdarkness,gazinggoggle-eyedatthemysteryandwonderoftheirflamingsouls。 \"Andtheywereright,asfarastheywent。Everythingisgood……aslongasitisunpossessed。SatietyandpossessionareDeath\'shorses;theyruninspan。 \"\'AndtimecouldonlytutorustoekeOurrapture\'swarmthwithcustom\'safterglow。\' \"TheygotthatfromasonnetofAlfredAustin\'s。Itwascalled\'Love\'sWisdom。\'ItwastheonekissofMadelinedeMaupin。Howdiditrun? \"\'Kissweandpart;nofurthercanwego; AndbetterdeaththanwefromhightolowShoulddwindle,ordeclinefromstrongtoweak。\' \"Buttheywerewiser。Theywouldnotkissandpart。Theywouldnotkissatall,andthustheyplannedtostayatLove\'stopmostpeak。Theymarried。YouwereinEnglandatthetime。Andneverwastheresuchamarriage。Theykepttheirsecrettothemselves。Ididnotknow,then。 Theirrapture\'swarmthdidnotcool。Theirloveburnedwithincreasingbrightness。Neverwasthereanythinglikeit。Thetimepassed,themonths,theyears,andevertheflame-wingedlute-playergrewmoreresplendent。 \"Everybodymarvelled。Theybecamethewonderfullovers,andtheyweregreatlyenvied。Sometimeswomenpitiedherbecauseshewaschildless;itistheformtheenvyofsuchcreaturestakes。 \"AndIdidnotknowtheirsecret。IponderedandImarvelled。AsfirstI hadexpected,subconsciouslyIimagine,thepassingoftheirlove。ThenI becameawarethatitwasTimethatpassedandLovethatremained。ThenI becamecurious。Whatwastheirsecret?WhatwerethemagicfetterswithwhichtheyboundLovetothem?Howdidtheyholdthegracelesself?WhatelixirofeternallovehadtheydrunktogetherashadTristramandIseultofoldtime?Andwhosehandhadbrewedthefairydrink? \"AsIsay,Iwascurious,andIwatchedthem。Theywerelove-mad。TheylivedinanunendingrevelofLove。Theymadeapompandceremonialofit。 TheysaturatedthemselvesintheartandpoetryofLove。No,theywerenotneurotics。Theyweresaneandhealthy,andtheywereartists。Buttheyhadaccomplishedtheimpossible。Theyhadachieveddeathlessdesire。 \"AndI?IsawmuchofthemandtheireverlastingmiracleofLove。I puzzledandwondered,andthenoneday——\" Carquinezbrokeoffabruptlyandasked,\"Haveyoueverread,\'Love\'sWaitingTime\'?\" Ishookmyhead。 \"Pagewroteit——CurtisHiddenPage,Ithink。Well,itwasthatbitofversethatgavemetheclue。Oneday,inthewindow-seatnearthebigpiano——yourememberhowshecouldplay?Sheusedtolaugh,sometimes,anddoubtwhetheritwasforthemIcame,orforthemusic。Shecalledmea\'music-sot\'once,a\'sound-debauchee。\'Whatavoicehehad!WhenhesangIbelievedinimmortality,myregardforthegodsgrewalmostpatronizingandIdevisedwaysandmeanswherebyIsurelycouldoutwitthemandtheirtricks。 \"ItwasaspectacleforGod,thatmanandwoman,yearsmarried,andsinginglove-songswithafreshnessvirginalasnew-bornLovehimself,witharipenessandwealthofardourthatyoungloverscanneverknow。Youngloverswerepaleandanaemicbesidethatlong-marriedpair。Toseethem,allfireandflameandtenderness,atatremblingdistance,lavishingcaressesofeyeandvoicewitheveryaction,througheverysilence——theirlovedrivingthemtowardeachother,andtheywithholdinglikeflutteringmoths,eachtotheotheracandle-flame,andrevolvingeachabouttheotherinthemadgyrationsofanamazingorbit-flight!Itseemed,inobediencetosomegreatlawofphysics,morepotentthangravitationandmoresubtle,thattheymustcorporeallymelteachintoeachtherebeforemyveryeyes。 Smallwondertheywerecalledthewonderfullovers。 \"Ihavewandered。Nowtotheclue。Onedayinthewindow-seatIfoundabookofverse。Itopenedofitself,betrayinglonghabit,to\'Love\'sWaitingTime。\'Thepagewasthumbedandlimpwithoverhandling,andthereIread:—— \"\'Sosweetitistostandbutjustapart,Toknoweachotherbetter,andtokeepThesoft,delicioussenseoftwothattouch…… Olove,notyet!……Sweet,letuskeepourloveWrappedroundwithsacredmysteryawhile,Waitingthesecretofthecomingyears,Thatcomenotyet,notyet……sometime…… notyet…… Oh,yetalittlewhileourlovemaygrow! Whenithasblossomeditwillhaplydie。 Feeditwithliplesskisses,letitsleep,Beddedindeaddenialyetsomewhile…… Oh,yetalittlewhile,alittlewhile。\' \"Ifoldedthebookonmythumbandsattheresilentandwithoutmovingforalongtime。Iwasstunnedbytheclearnessofvisiontheversehadimpartedtome。Itwasillumination。ItwaslikeaboltofGod\'slightninginthePit。TheywouldkeepLove,theficklesprite,theforerunnerofyounglife——younglifethatisimperativetobeborn! \"Iconnedthelinesoverinmymind——\'Notyet,sometime\'——\'OLove,notyet\'——\'Feeditwithliplesskisses,letitsleep。\'AndIlaughedaloud,ha,ha!Isawwithwhitevisiontheirblamelesssouls。Theywerechildren。Theydidnotunderstand。TheyplayedwithNature\'sfireandbeddedwithanakedsword。Theylaughedatthegods。Theywouldstopthecosmicsap。Theyhadinventedasystem,andbroughtittothegaming-tableoflife,andexpectedtowinout。\'Beware!\'Icried。\'Thegodsarebehindthetable。Theymakenewrulesforeverysystemthatisdevised。Youhavenochancetowin。\' \"ButIdidnotsocrytothem。Iwaited。Theywouldlearnthattheirsystemwasworthlessandthrowitaway。Theywouldbecontentwithwhateverhappinessthegodsgavethemandnotstrivetowrestmoreaway。 \"Iwatched。Isaidnothing。Themonthscontinuedtocomeandgo,andstillthefamine-edgeoftheirlovegrewthesharper。Neverdidtheydullitwithapermittedlove-clasp。Theygroundandwhetteditonself-denial,andsharperandsharperitgrew。ThiswentonuntilevenIdoubted。Didthegodssleep?Iwondered。Orweretheydead?Ilaughedtomyself。Themanandthewomanhadmadeamiracle。TheyhadoutwittedGod。Theyhadshamedtheflesh,andblackenedthefaceofthegoodEarthMother。Theyhadplayedwithherfireandnotbeenburned。Theywereimmune。Theywerethemselvesgods,knowinggoodfromevilandtastingnot。\'Wasthisthewaygodscametobe?\'Iaskedmyself。\'Iamafrog,\'Isaid。\'Butformymud- liddedeyesIshouldhavebeenblindedbythebrightnessofthiswonderI havewitnessed。Ihavepuffedmyselfupwithmywisdomandpassedjudgmentupongods。\' \"Yeteveninthis,mylatestwisdom,Iwaswrong。Theywerenotgods。 Theyweremanandwoman——softclaythatsighedandthrilled,shotthroughwithdesire,thumbedwithstrangeweaknesseswhichthegodshavenot。\" Carquinezbrokefromhisnarrativetorollanothercigaretteandtolaughharshly。Itwasnotaprettylaugh;itwaslikethemockeryofadevil,anditroseoverandrodetheroarofthestormthatcamemuffledtoourearsfromthecrashingoutsideworld。 \"Iamafrog,\"hesaidapologetically。\"Howweretheytounderstand?Theywereartists,notbiologists。Theyknewtheclayofthestudio,buttheydidnotknowtheclayofwhichtheythemselvesweremade。ButthisIwillsay——theyplayedhigh。Neverwastheresuchagamebefore,andIdoubtmeiftherewilleverbesuchagameagain。 \"Neverwaslovers\'ecstasyliketheirs。TheyhadnotkilledLovewithkisses。Theyhadquickenedhimwithdenial。Andbydenialtheydrovehimontillhewasallaburstwithdesire。Andtheflame-wingedlute-playerfannedthemwithhiswarmwingstilltheywereallbutswooning。ItwastheverydeliriumofLove,anditcontinuedundiminishedandincreasingthroughtheweeksandmonths。 \"Theylongedandyearned,withallthefondpangsandsweetdeliciousagonies,withanintensityneverfeltbyloversbeforenorsince。 \"Andthenonedaythedrowsygodsceasednodding。Theyarousedandlookedatthemanandwomanwhohadmadeamockofthem。Andthemanandwomanlookedintoeachother\'seyesonemorningandknewthatsomethingwasgone。 Itwastheflame-wingedone。Hehadfled,silently,inthenight,fromtheiranchorites\'board。 \"Theylookedintoeachother\'seyesandknewthattheydidnotcare。 Desirewasdead。Doyouunderstand?Desirewasdead。Andtheyhadneverkissed。Notoncehadtheykissed。Lovewasgone。Theywouldneveryearnandburnagain。Forthemtherewasnothingleft——nomoretremblingsandflutteringsanddeliciousanguishes,nomorethrobbingandpulsing,andsighingandsong。Desirewasdead。Ithaddiedinthenight,onacouchcoldandunattended;norhadtheywitnesseditspassing。Theylearneditforthefirsttimeineachother\'seyes。 \"Thegodsmaynotbekind,buttheyareoftenmerciful。Theyhadtwirledthelittleivoryballandsweptthestakesfromthetable。Allthatremainedwasthemanandwomangazingintoeachother\'scoldeyes。Andthenhedied。Thatwasthemercy。WithintheweekMarvinFiskewasdead—— youremembertheaccident。Andinherdiary,writtenatthistime,IlongafterwardreadMitchellKennerly\'s:—— \"\'TherewasnotasinglehourWemighthavekissedanddidnotkiss。\'\" \"Oh,theironyofit!\"Icriedout。 AndCarquinez,inthefirelightaveritableMephistophelesinvelvetjacket,fixedmewithhisblackeyes。 \"Andtheywon,yousaid?Theworld\'sjudgment!Ihavetoldyou,andI know。Theywonasyouarewinning,hereinyourhills。\" \"Butyou,\"Idemandedhotly;\"youwithyourorgiesofsoundandsense,withyourmadcitiesandmadderfrolics——bethinkyouthatyouwin?\" Heshookhisheadslowly。\"Becauseyouwithyoursoberbucolicregime,lose,isnoreasonthatIshouldwin。Weneverwin。Sometimeswethinkwewin。Thatisalittlepleasantryofthegods。\" THEAPOSTATE \"NowIwakemeuptowork; IpraytheLordImaynotshirk。 IfIshoulddiebeforethenight,IpraytheLordmywork\'sallright。 Amen。\" \"Ifyoudon\'tgitup,Johnny,Iwon\'tgiveyouabitetoeat!\" Thethreathadnoeffectontheboy。Heclungstubbornlytosleep,fightingforitsoblivionasthedreamerfightsforhisdream。Theboy\'shandslooselyclenchedthemselves,andhemadefeeble,spasmodicblowsattheair。Theseblowswereintendedforhismother,butshebetrayedpractisedfamiliarityinavoidingthemassheshookhimroughlybytheshoulder。 \"Lemme\'lone!\" Itwasacrythatbegan,muffled,inthedeepsofsleep,thatswiftlyrushedupward,likeawail,intopassionatebelligerence,andthatdiedawayandsankdownintoaninarticulatewhine。Itwasabestialcry,asofasoulintorment,filledwithinfiniteprotestandpain。 Butshedidnotmind。Shewasasad-eyed,tired-facedwoman,andshehadgrownusedtothistask,whichsherepeatedeverydayofherlife。Shegotagriponthebedclothesandtriedtostripthemdown;buttheboy,ceasinghispunching,clungtothemdesperately。Inahuddle,atthefootofthebed,hestillremainedcovered。Thenshetrieddraggingthebeddingtothefloor。Theboyopposedher。Shebracedherself。Herswasthesuperiorweight,andtheboyandbeddinggave,theformerinstinctivelyfollowingthelatterinordertoshelteragainstthechilloftheroomthatbitintohisbody。 Ashetoppledontheedgeofthebeditseemedthathemustfallhead-firsttothefloor。Butconsciousnessflutteredupinhim。Herightedhimselfandforamomentperilouslybalanced。Thenhestrucktheflooronhisfeet。Ontheinstanthismotherseizedhimbytheshouldersandshookhim。 Againhisfistsstruckout,thistimewithmoreforceanddirectness。Atthesametimehiseyesopened。Shereleasedhim。Hewasawake。 \"Allright,\"hemumbled。 Shecaughtupthelampandhurriedout,leavinghimindarkness。 \"You\'llbedocked,\"shewarnedbacktohim。 Hedidnotmindthedarkness。Whenhehadgotintohisclothes,hewentoutintothekitchen。Histreadwasveryheavyforsothinandlightaboy。Hislegsdraggedwiththeirownweight,whichseemedunreasonablebecausetheyweresuchskinnylegs。Hedrewabroken-bottomedchairtothetable。 \"Johnny,\"hismothercalledsharply。 Hearoseassharplyfromthechair,and,withoutaword,wenttothesink。 Itwasagreasy,filthysink。Asmellcameupfromtheoutlet。Hetooknonoticeofit。Thatasinkshouldsmellwastohimpartofthenaturalorder,justasitwasapartofthenaturalorderthatthesoapshouldbegrimywithdish-waterandhardtolather。Nordidhetryveryhardtomakeitlather。Severalsplashesofthecoldwaterfromtherunningfaucetcompletedthefunction。Hedidnotwashhisteeth。Forthatmatterhehadneverseenatoothbrush,nordidheknowthatthereexistedbeingsintheworldwhowereguiltyofsogreatafoolishnessastoothwashing。 \"Youmightwashyourselfwunstadaywithoutbein\'told,\"hismothercomplained。 Shewasholdingabrokenlidonthepotasshepouredtwocupsofcoffee。 Hemadenoremark,forthiswasastandingquarrelbetweenthem,andtheonethinguponwhichhismotherwashardasadamant。\"Wunst\"adayitwascompulsorythatheshouldwashhisface。Hedriedhimselfonagreasytowel,dampanddirtyandragged,thatlefthisfacecoveredwithshredsoflint。 \"Iwishwedidn\'tlivesofaraway,\"shesaid,ashesatdown。\"ItrytodothebestIcan。Youknowthat。Butadollarontherentissuchasavin\',an\'we\'vemoreroomhere。Youknowthat。\" Hescarcelyfollowedher。Hehadhearditallbefore,manytimes。Therangeofherthoughtwaslimited,andshewaseverharkingbacktothehardshipworkeduponthembylivingsofarfromthemills。 \"Adollarmeansmoregrub,\"heremarkedsententiously。\"I\'dsoonerdothewalkin\'an\'gitthegrub。\" Heatehurriedly,halfchewingthebreadandwashingtheunmasticatedchunksdownwithcoffee。Thehotandmuddyliquidwentbythenameofcoffee。Johnnythoughtitwascoffee——andexcellentcoffee。Thatwasoneofthefewoflife\'sillusionsthatremainedtohim。Hehadneverdrunkrealcoffeeinhislife。 Inadditiontothebread,therewasasmallpieceofcoldpork。Hismotherrefilledhiscupwithcoffee。Ashewasfinishingthebread,hebegantowatchifmorewasforthcoming。Sheinterceptedhisquestioningglance。 \"Now,don\'tbehoggish,Johnny,\"washercomment。\"You\'vehadyourshare。 Yourbrothersan\'sistersaresmaller\'nyou。\" Hedidnotanswertherebuke。Hewasnotmuchofatalker。Also,heceasedhishungryglancingformore。Hewasuncomplaining,withapatiencethatwasasterribleastheschoolinwhichithadbeenlearned。Hefinishedhiscoffee,wipedhismouthonthebackofhishand,andstartedtorise。 \"Waitasecond,\"shesaidhastily。\"Iguesstheloafkinstandyouanotherslice——athinun。\" Therewaslegerdemaininheractions。Withalltheseemingofcuttingaslicefromtheloafforhim,sheputloafandslicebackinthebreadboxandconveyedtohimoneofherowntwoslices。Shebelievedshehaddeceivedhim,buthehadnotedhersleight-of-hand。Nevertheless,hetookthebreadshamelessly。Hehadaphilosophythathismother,becauseofherchronicsickliness,wasnotmuchofaneateranyway。 Shesawthathewaschewingthebreaddry,andreachedoverandemptiedhercoffeecupintohis。 \"Don\'tsetgoodsomehowonmystomachthismorning,\"sheexplained。 Adistantwhistle,prolongedandshrieking,broughtbothofthemtotheirfeet。Sheglancedatthetinalarm-clockontheshelf。Thehandsstoodathalf-pastfive。Therestofthefactoryworldwasjustarousingfromsleep。Shedrewashawlabouthershoulders,andonherheadputadingyhat,shapelessandancient。 \"We\'vegottorun,\"shesaid,turningthewickofthelampandblowingdownthechimney。 Theygropedtheirwayoutanddownthestairs。Itwasclearandcold,andJohnnyshiveredatthefirstcontactwiththeoutsideair。Thestarshadnotyetbeguntopaleinthesky,andthecitylayinblackness。BothJohnnyandhismothershuffledtheirfeetastheywalked。Therewasnoambitioninthelegmusclestoswingthefeetclearoftheground。 Afterfifteensilentminutes,hismotherturnedofftotheright。 \"Don\'tbelate,\"washerfinalwarningfromoutofthedarkthatwasswallowingherup。 Hemadenoresponse,steadilykeepingonhisway。Inthefactoryquarter,doorswereopeningeverywhere,andhewassoononeofamultitudethatpressedonwardthroughthedark。Asheenteredthefactorygatethewhistleblewagain。Heglancedattheeast。Acrossaraggedsky-lineofhousetopsapalelightwasbeginningtocreep。Thismuchhesawofthedayasheturnedhisbackuponitandjoinedhisworkgang。 Hetookhisplaceinoneofmanylongrowsofmachines。Beforehim,aboveabinfilledwithsmallbobbins,werelargebobbinsrevolvingrapidly。 Uponthesehewoundthejute-twineofthesmallbobbins。Theworkwassimple。Allthatwasrequiredwascelerity。Thesmallbobbinswereemptiedsorapidly,andthereweresomanylargebobbinsthatdidtheemptying,thattherewerenoidlemoments。 Heworkedmechanically。Whenasmallbobbinranout,heusedhislefthandforabrake,stoppingthelargebobbinandatthesametime,withthumbandforefinger,catchingtheflyingendoftwine。Also,atthesametime,withhisrighthand,hecaughtuptheloosetwine-endofasmallbobbin。Thesevariousactswithbothhandswereperformedsimultaneouslyandswiftly。 Thentherewouldcomeaflashofhishandsasheloopedtheweaver\'sknotandreleasedthebobbin。Therewasnothingdifficultaboutweaver\'sknots。 Heonceboastedhecouldtietheminhissleep。Andforthatmatter,hesometimesdid,toilingcenturieslonginasinglenightattyinganendlesssuccessionofweaver\'sknots。 Someoftheboysshirked,wastingtimeandmachinerybynotreplacingthesmallbobbinswhentheyranout。Andtherewasanoverseertopreventthis。HecaughtJohnny\'sneighbouratthetrick,andboxedhisears。 \"LookatJohnnythere——whyain\'tyoulikehim?\"theoverseerwrathfullydemanded。 Johnny\'sbobbinswererunningfullblast,buthedidnotthrillattheindirectpraise。Therehadbeenatime……butthatwaslongago,verylongago。Hisapatheticfacewasexpressionlessashelistenedtohimselfbeingheldupasashiningexample。Hewastheperfectworker。Heknewthat。Hehadbeentoldso,often。Itwasacommonplace,andbesidesitdidn\'tseemtomeananythingtohimanymore。Fromtheperfectworkerhehadevolvedintotheperfectmachine。Whenhisworkwentwrong,itwaswithhimaswiththemachine,duetofaultymaterial。Itwouldhavebeenaspossibleforaperfectnail-dietocutimperfectnailsasforhimtomakeamistake。 Andsmallwonder。Therehadneverbeenatimewhenhehadnotbeeninintimaterelationshipwithmachines。Machineryhadalmostbeenbredintohim,andatanyratehehadbeenbroughtuponit。Twelveyearsbefore,therehadbeenasmallflutterofexcitementintheloomroomofthisverymill。Johnny\'smotherhadfainted。Theystretchedheroutonthefloorinthemidstoftheshriekingmachines。Acoupleofelderlywomenwerecalledfromtheirlooms。Theforemanassisted。Andinafewminutestherewasonemoresoulintheloomroomthanhadenteredbythedoors。ItwasJohnny,bornwiththepounding,crashingroaroftheloomsinhisears,drawingwithhisfirstbreaththewarm,moistairthatwasthickwithflyinglint。Hehadcoughedthatfirstdayinordertoridhislungsofthelint;andforthesamereasonhehadcoughedeversince。 TheboyalongsideofJohnnywhimperedandsniffed。Theboy\'sfacewasconvulsedwithhatredfortheoverseerwhokeptathreateningeyeonhimfromadistance;buteverybobbinwasrunningfull。Theboyyelledterribleoathsintothewhirlingbobbinsbeforehim;butthesounddidnotcarryhalfadozenfeet,theroaringoftheroomholdingitinandcontainingitlikeawall。 OfallthisJohnnytooknonotice。Hehadawayofacceptingthings。 Besides,thingsgrowmonotonousbyrepetition,andthisparticularhappeninghehadwitnessedmanytimes。Itseemedtohimasuselesstoopposetheoverseerastodefythewillofamachine。Machinesweremadetogoincertainwaysandtoperformcertaintasks。Itwasthesamewiththeoverseer。 Butateleveno\'clocktherewasexcitementintheroom。Inanapparentlyoccultwaytheexcitementinstantlypermeatedeverywhere。Theone-leggedboywhoworkedontheothersideofJohnnybobbedswiftlyacrossthefloortoabintruckthatstoodempty。Intothishedivedoutofsight,crutchandall。Thesuperintendentofthemillwascomingalong,accompaniedbyayoungman。Hewaswelldressedandworeastarchedshirt——agentleman,inJohnny\'sclassificationofmen,andalso,\"theInspector。\" Helookedsharplyattheboysashepassedalong。Sometimeshestoppedandaskedquestions。Whenhedidso,hewascompelledtoshoutatthetopofhislungs,atwhichmomentshisfacewasludicrouslycontortedwiththestrainofmakinghimselfheard。HisquickeyenotedtheemptymachinealongsideofJohnny\'s,buthesaidnothing。Johnnyalsocaughthiseye,andhestoppedabruptly。HecaughtJohnnybythearmtodrawhimbackastepfromthemachine;butwithanexclamationofsurprisehereleasedthearm。 \"Prettyskinny,\"thesuperintendentlaughedanxiously。 \"Pipestems,\"wastheanswer。\"Lookatthoselegs。Theboy\'sgottherickets——incipient,buthe\'sgotthem。Ifepilepsydoesn\'tgethimintheend,itwillbebecausetuberculosisgetshimfirst。\" Johnnylistened,butdidnotunderstand。Furthermorehewasnotinterestedinfutureills。Therewasanimmediateandmoreseriousillthatthreatenedhimintheformoftheinspector。 \"Now,myboy,Iwantyoutotellmethetruth,\"theinspectorsaid,orshouted,bendingclosetotheboy\'seartomakehimhear。\"Howoldareyou?\" \"Fourteen,\"Johnnylied,andheliedwiththefullforceofhislungs。Soloudlydidheliethatitstartedhimoffinadry,hackingcoughthatliftedthelintwhichhadbeensettlinginhislungsallmorning。 \"Lookssixteenatleast,\"saidthesuperintendent。 \"Orsixty,\"snappedtheinspector。 \"He\'salwayslookedthatway。\" \"Howlong?\"askedtheinspector,quickly。 \"Foryears。Nevergetsabitolder。\" \"Oryounger,Idaresay。Isupposehe\'sworkedhereallthoseyears?\" \"Offandon——butthatwasbeforethenewlawwaspassed,\"thesuperintendenthastenedtoadd。 \"Machineidle?\"theinspectorasked,pointingattheunoccupiedmachinebesideJohnny\'s,inwhichthepart-filledbobbinswereflyinglikemad。 \"Looksthatway。\"Thesuperintendentmotionedtheoverseertohimandshoutedinhisearandpointedatthemachine。\"Machine\'sidle,\"hereportedbacktotheinspector。 Theypassedon,andJohnnyreturnedtohiswork,relievedinthattheillhadbeenaverted。Buttheone-leggedboywasnotsofortunate。Thesharp- eyedinspectorhaledhimoutatarmslengthfromthebintruck。Hislipswerequivering,andhisfacehadalltheexpressionofoneuponwhomwasfallenprofoundandirremediabledisaster。Theoverseerlookedastounded,asthoughforthefirsttimehehadlaideyesontheboy,whilethesuperintendent\'sfaceexpressedshockanddispleasure。 \"Iknowhim,\"theinspectorsaid。\"He\'stwelveyearsold。I\'vehadhimdischargedfromthreefactoriesinsidetheyear。Thismakesthefourth。\" Heturnedtotheone-leggedboy。\"Youpromisedme,wordandhonour,thatyou\'dgotoschool。\" Theone-leggedboyburstintotears。\"Please,Mr。Inspector,twobabiesdiedonus,andwe\'reawfulpoor。\" \"Whatmakesyoucoughthatway?\"theinspectordemanded,asthoughcharginghimwithcrime。 Andasindenialofguilt,theone-leggedboyreplied:\"Itain\'tnothin\'。 Ijes\'caughtacoldlastweek,Mr。Inspector,that\'sall。\" Intheendtheone-leggedboywentoutoftheroomwiththeinspector,thelatteraccompaniedbytheanxiousandprotestingsuperintendent。Afterthatmonotonysettleddownagain。Thelongmorningandthelongerafternoonworeawayandthewhistleblewforquittingtime。DarknesshadalreadyfallenwhenJohnnypassedoutthroughthefactorygate。Intheintervalthesunhadmadeagoldenladderofthesky,floodedtheworldwithitsgraciouswarmth,anddroppeddownanddisappearedinthewestbehindaraggedsky-lineofhousetops。 Supperwasthefamilymealoftheday——theonemealatwhichJohnnyencounteredhisyoungerbrothersandsisters。Itpartookofthenatureofanencounter,tohim,forhewasveryold,whiletheyweredistressinglyyoung。Hehadnopatiencewiththeirexcessiveandamazingjuvenility。Hedidnotunderstandit。Hisownchildhoodwastoofarbehindhim。Hewaslikeanoldandirritableman,annoyedbytheturbulenceoftheiryoungspiritsthatwastohimarrantsilliness。Hegloweredsilentlyoverhisfood,findingcompensationinthethoughtthattheywouldsoonhavetogotowork。Thatwouldtaketheedgeoffofthemandmakethemsedateanddignified——likehim。Thusitwas,afterthefashionofthehuman,thatJohnnymadeofhimselfayardstickwithwhichtomeasuretheuniverse。 Duringthemeal,hismotherexplainedinvariouswaysandwithinfiniterepetitionthatshewastryingtodothebestshecould;sothatitwaswithrelief,thescantmealended,thatJohnnyshovedbackhischairandarose。Hedebatedforamomentbetweenbedandthefrontdoor,andfinallywentoutthelatter。Hedidnotgofar。Hesatdownonthestoop,hiskneesdrawnupandhisnarrowshouldersdroopingforward,hiselbowsonhiskneesandthepalmsofhishandssupportinghischin。 Ashesatthere,hedidnothinking。Hewasjustresting。Sofarashismindwasconcerned,itwasasleep。Hisbrothersandsisterscameout,andwithotherchildrenplayednoisilyabouthim。Anelectricglobeatthecornerlightedtheirfrolics。Hewaspeevishandirritable,thattheyknew;butthespiritofadventureluredthemintoteasinghim。Theyjoinedhandsbeforehim,and,keepingtimewiththeirbodies,chantedinhisfaceweirdanduncomplimentarydoggerel。Atfirsthesnarledcursesatthem—— curseshehadlearnedfromthelipsofvariousforemen。Findingthisfutile,andrememberinghisdignity,herelapsedintodoggedsilence。 HisbrotherWill,nexttohiminage,havingjustpassedhistenthbirthday,wastheringleader。Johnnydidnotpossessparticularlykindlyfeelingstowardhim。HislifehadearlybeenembitteredbycontinualgivingoverandgivingwaytoWill。HehadadefinitefeelingthatWillwasgreatlyinhisdebtandwasungratefulaboutit。Inhisownplaytime,farbackinthedimpast,hehadbeenrobbedofalargepartofthatplaytimebybeingcompelledtotakecareofWill。Willwasababythen,andthen,asnow,theirmotherhadspentherdaysinthemills。ToJohnnyhadfallenthepartoflittlefatherandlittlemotheraswell。 Willseemedtoshowthebenefitofthegivingoverandthegivingway。Hewaswell-built,fairlyrugged,astallashiselderbrotherandevenheavier。Itwasasthoughthelife-bloodoftheonehadbeendivertedintotheother\'sveins。Andinspiritsitwasthesame。Johnnywasjaded,wornout,withoutresilience,whilehisyoungerbrotherseemedburstingandspillingoverwithexuberance。 Themockingchantroselouderandlouder。Willleanedcloserashedanced,thrustingouthistongue。Johnny\'sleftarmshotoutandcaughttheotheraroundtheneck。Atthesametimeherappedhisbonyfisttotheother\'snose。Itwasapatheticallybonyfist,butthatitwassharptohurtwasevidencedbythesquealofpainitproduced。Theotherchildrenwereutteringfrightenedcries,whileJohnny\'ssister,Jennie,haddashedintothehouse。 HethrustWillfromhim,kickedhimsavagelyontheshins,thenreachedforhimandslammedhimfacedownwardinthedirt。Nordidhereleasehimtillthefacehadbeenrubbedintothedirtseveraltimes。Thenthemotherarrived,ananaemicwhirlwindofsolicitudeandmaternalwrath。 \"Whycan\'theleavemealone?\"wasJohnny\'sreplytoherupbraiding。 \"Can\'theseeI\'mtired?\" \"I\'masbigasyou,\"Willragedinherarms,hisfaceamassoftears,dirt,andblood。\"I\'masbigasyounow,an\'I\'mgoin\'togitbigger。 ThenI\'lllickyou——seeifIdon\'t。\" \"Yououghttobetowork,seein\'howbigyouare,\"Johnnysnarled。\"That\'swhat\'sthematterwithyou。Yououghttobetowork。An\'it\'suptoyourmatoputyoutowork。\" \"Buthe\'stooyoung,\"sheprotested。\"He\'sonlyalittleboy。\" \"Iwasyounger\'nhimwhenIstartedtowork。\" Johnny\'smouthwasopen,furthertoexpressthesenseofunfairnessthathefelt,butthemouthclosedwithasnap。Heturnedgloomilyonhisheelandstalkedintothehouseandtobed。Thedoorofhisroomwasopentoletinwarmthfromthekitchen。Asheundressedinthesemi-darknesshecouldhearhismothertalkingwithaneighbourwomanwhohaddroppedin。Hismotherwascrying,andherspeechwaspunctuatedwithspiritlesssniffles。 \"Ican\'tmakeoutwhat\'sgittin\'intoJohnny,\"hecouldhearhersay。\"Hedidn\'tusedtobethisway。Hewasapatientlittleangel。 \"An\'heisagoodboy,\"shehastenedtodefend。\"He\'sworkedfaithful,an\' hedidgotoworktooyoung。Butitwasn\'tmyfault。IdothebestIcan,I\'msure。\" Prolongedsnifflingfromthekitchen,andJohnnymurmuredtohimselfashiseyelidscloseddown,\"YoubetcherlifeI\'veworkedfaithful。\" Thenextmorninghewastornbodilybyhismotherfromthegripofsleep。 Thencamethemeagrebreakfast,thetrampthroughthedark,andthepaleglimpseofdayacrossthehousetopsasheturnedhisbackonitandwentinthroughthefactorygate。Itwasanotherday,ofallthedays,andallthedayswerealike。 Andyettherehadbeenvarietyinhislife——atthetimeshechangedfromonejobtoanother,orwastakensick。Whenhewassix,hewaslittlemotherandfathertoWillandtheotherchildrenstillyounger。Atsevenhewentintothemills——windingbobbins。Whenhewaseight,hegotworkinanothermill。Hisnewjobwasmarvellouslyeasy。Allhehadtodowastositdownwithalittlestickinhishandandguideastreamofcloththatflowedpasthim。Thisstreamofclothcameoutofthemawofamachine,passedoverahotroller,andwentonitswayelsewhere。Buthesatalwaysinoneplace,beyondthereachofdaylight,agas-jetflaringoverhim,himselfpartofthemechanism。 Hewasveryhappyatthatjob,inspiteofthemoistheat,forhewasstillyoungandinpossessionofdreamsandillusions。Andwonderfuldreamshedreamedashewatchedthesteamingclothstreamingendlesslyby。Buttherewasnoexerciseaboutthework,nocalluponhismind,andhedreamedlessandless,whilehismindgrewtorpidanddrowsy。Nevertheless,heearnedtwodollarsaweek,andtwodollarsrepresentedthedifferencebetweenacutestarvationandchronicunderfeeding。 Butwhenhewasnine,helosthisjob。Measleswasthecauseofit。Afterherecovered,hegotworkinaglassfactory。Thepaywasbetter,andtheworkdemandedskill。Itwaspiecework,andthemoreskilfulhewas,thebiggerwagesheearned。Herewasincentive。Andunderthisincentivehedevelopedintoaremarkableworker。 Itwassimplework,thetyingofglassstoppersintosmallbottles。Athiswaisthecarriedabundleoftwine。Heheldthebottlesbetweenhiskneessothathemightworkwithbothhands。Thus,inasittingpositionandbendingoverhisownknees,hisnarrowshouldersgrewhumpedandhischestwascontractedfortenhourseachday。Thiswasnotgoodforthelungs,buthetiedthreehundreddozenbottlesaday。 Thesuperintendentwasveryproudofhim,andbroughtvisitorstolookathim。Intenhoursthreehundreddozenbottlespassedthroughhishands。 Thismeantthathehadattainedmachine-likeperfection。Allwastemovementswereeliminated。Everymotionofhisthinarms,everymovementofamuscleinthethinfingers,wasswiftandaccurate。Heworkedathightension,andtheresultwasthathegrewnervous。Atnighthismusclestwitchedinhissleep,andinthedaytimehecouldnotrelaxandrest。Heremainedkeyedupandhismusclescontinuedtotwitch。Alsohegrewsallowandhislint-coughgrewworse。Thenpneumonialaidholdofthefeeblelungswithinthecontractedchest,andhelosthisjobintheglass-works。 Nowhehadreturnedtothejutemillswherehehadfirstbegunwithwindingbobbins。Butpromotionwaswaitingforhim。Hewasagoodworker。Hewouldnextgoonthestarcher,andlaterhewouldgointotheloomroom。 Therewasnothingafterthatexceptincreasedefficiency。 Themachineryranfasterthanwhenhehadfirstgonetowork,andhismindranslower。Henolongerdreamedatall,thoughhisearlieryearshadbeenfullofdreaming。Oncehehadbeeninlove。Itwaswhenhefirstbeganguidingtheclothoverthehotroller,anditwaswiththedaughterofthesuperintendent。Shewasmucholderthanhe,ayoungwoman,andhehadseenheratadistanceonlyapaltryhalf-dozentimes。Butthatmadenodifference。Onthesurfaceoftheclothstreamthatpouredpasthim,hepicturedradiantfutureswhereinheperformedprodigiesoftoil,inventedmiraculousmachines,wontothemastershipofthemills,andintheendtookherinhisarmsandkissedhersoberlyonthebrow。 Butthatwasallinthelongago,beforehehadgrowntoooldandtiredtolove。Also,shehadmarriedandgoneaway,andhismindhadgonetosleep。 Yetithadbeenawonderfulexperience,andheusedoftentolookbackuponitasothermenandwomenlookbackuponthetimetheybelievedinfairies。 HehadneverbelievedinfairiesnorSantaClaus;buthehadbelievedimplicitlyinthesmilingfuturehisimaginationhadwroughtintothesteamingclothstream。 Hehadbecomeamanveryearlyinlife。Atseven,whenhedrewhisfirstwages,beganhisadolescence。Acertainfeelingofindependencecreptupinhim,andtherelationshipbetweenhimandhismotherchanged。Somehow,asanearnerandbreadwinner,doinghisownworkintheworld,hewasmorelikeanequalwithher。Manhood,full-blownmanhood,hadcomewhenhewaseleven,atwhichtimehehadgonetoworkonthenightshiftforsixmonths。Nochildworksonthenightshiftandremainsachild。 Therehadbeenseveralgreateventsinhislife。OneofthesehadbeenwhenhismotherboughtsomeCaliforniaprunes。Twoothershadbeenthetwotimeswhenshecookedcustard。Thosehadbeenevents。Herememberedthemkindly。Andatthattimehismotherhadtoldhimofablissfuldishshewouldsometimemake——\"floatingisland,\"shehadcalledit,\"betterthancustard。\"Foryearshehadlookedforwardtothedaywhenhewouldsitdowntothetablewithfloatingislandbeforehim,untilatlasthehadrelegatedtheideaofittothelimboofunattainableideals。 Oncehefoundasilverquarterlyingonthesidewalk。That,also,wasagreateventinhislife,withalatragicone。Heknewhisdutyontheinstantthesilverflashedonhiseyes,beforeevenhehadpickeditup。 Athome,asusual,therewasnotenoughtoeat,andhomeheshouldhavetakenitashedidhiswageseverySaturdaynight。Rightconductinthiscasewasobvious;butheneverhadanyspendingofhismoney,andhewassufferingfromcandyhunger。Hewasravenousforthesweetsthatonlyonred-letterdayshehadevertastedinhislife。 Hedidnotattempttodeceivehimself。Heknewitwassin,anddeliberatelyhesinnedwhenhewentonafifteen-centcandydebauch。Tencentshesavedforafutureorgy;butnotbeingaccustomedtothecarryingofmoney,helostthetencents。Thisoccurredatthetimewhenhewassufferingallthetormentsofconscience,anditwastohimanactofdivineretribution。HehadafrightenedsenseoftheclosenessofanawfulandwrathfulGod。Godhadseen,andGodhadbeenswifttopunish,denyinghimeventhefullwagesofsin。 Inmemoryhealwayslookedbackuponthatastheonegreatcriminaldeedofhislife,andattherecollectionhisconsciencealwaysawokeandgavehimanothertwinge。Itwastheoneskeletoninhiscloset。Also,beingsomade,andcircumstanced,helookedbackuponthedeedwithregret。Hewasdissatisfiedwiththemannerinwhichhehadspentthequarter。Hecouldhaveinvesteditbetter,and,outofhislaterknowledgeofthequicknessofGod,hewouldhavebeatenGodoutbyspendingthewholequarteratonefellswoop。Inretrospecthespentthequarterathousandtimes,andeachtimetobetteradvantage。 Therewasoneothermemoryofthepast,dimandfaded,butstampedintohissouleverlastingbythesavagefeetofhisfather。Itwasmorelikeanightmarethanarememberedvisionofaconcretething——moreliketherace- memoryofmanthatmakeshimfallinhissleepandthatgoesbacktohisarborealancestry。 ThisparticularmemorynevercametoJohnnyinbroaddaylightwhenhewaswideawake。Itcameatnight,inbed,atthemomentthathisconsciousnesswassinkingdownandlosingitselfinsleep。Italwaysarousedhimtofrightenedwakefulness,andforthemoment,inthefirstsickeningstart,itseemedtohimthathelaycrosswiseonthefootofthebed。Inthebedwerethevagueformsofhisfatherandmother。Heneversawwhathisfatherlookedlike。Hehadbutoneimpressionofhisfather,andthatwasthathehadsavageandpitilessfeet。 Hisearliermemorieslingeredwithhim,buthehadnolatememories。Alldayswerealike。Yesterdayorlastyearwerethesameasathousandyears—— oraminute。Nothingeverhappened。Therewerenoeventstomarkthemarchoftime。Timedidnotmarch。Itstoodalwaysstill。Itwasonlythewhirlingmachinesthatmoved,andtheymovednowhere——inspiteofthefactthattheymovedfaster。 Whenhewasfourteen,hewenttoworkonthestarcher。Itwasacolossalevent。Somethinghadatlasthappenedthatcouldberememberedbeyondanight\'ssleeporaweek\'spay-day。Itmarkedanera。ItwasamachineOlympiad,athingtodatefrom。\"WhenIwenttoworkonthestarcher,\"or,\"after,\"or\"beforeIwenttoworkonthestarcher,\"weresentencesoftenonhislips。 Hecelebratedhissixteenthbirthdaybygoingintotheloomroomandtakingaloom。Herewasanincentiveagain,foritwaspiece-work。Andheexcelled,becausetheclayofhimhadbeenmouldedbythemillsintotheperfectmachine。Attheendofthreemonthshewasrunningtwolooms,and,later,threeandfour。 Attheendofhissecondyearattheloomshewasturningoutmoreyardsthananyotherweaver,andmorethantwiceasmuchassomeofthelessskilfulones。Andathomethingsbegantoprosperasheapproachedthefullstatureofhisearningpower。Not,however,thathisincreasedearningswereinexcessofneed。Thechildrenweregrowingup。Theyatemore。Andtheyweregoingtoschool,andschool-bookscostmoney。Andsomehow,thefasterheworked,thefasterclimbedthepricesofthings。 Eventherentwentup,thoughthehousehadfallenfrombadtoworsedisrepair。