第5章

类别:其他 作者:佚名字数:11198更新时间:18/12/14 13:50:14
\"Oh,mygoodness!whatdoyouwanttospellitfor?\" \"Idon\'twanttospellit;Iwanttoseewhatitmeans。\" \"Well,thisisastonishing,Imustsay。Icantellyouwhatitmeans,ifyou——ifyou——\" \"Oh,allright!Thatwillanswer,andmuchobligedtoyou,too。\" \"In,in,ter,ter,inter——\" \"Thenyouspellitwithanh\" Whycertainly!\" \"Oh,thatiswhattookmesolong。\" \"Why,mydearsir,whatdidyouproposetospellitwith?\" \"Well,I——I——hardlyknow。IhadtheUnabridged,andIwascipheringaroundinthebackend,hopingImighttreeheramongthepictures。 Butit\'saveryoldedition。\" \"Why,myfriend,theywouldn\'thaveapictureofitineventhelateste——Mydearsir,Ibegyourpardon,Imeannoharmintheworld,butyoudonotlookas——as——intelligentasIhadexpectedyouwould。Noharm—— Imeannoharmatall。\" \"Oh,don\'tmentionit!Ithasoftenbeensaid,andbypeoplewhowouldnotflatterandwhocouldhavenoinducementtoflatter,thatIamquiteremarkableinthatway。Yes——yes;theyalwaysspeakofitwithrapture。\" \"Icaneasilyimagineit。Butaboutthisinterview。Youknowitisthecustom,now,tointerviewanymanwhohasbecomenotorious。\" \"Indeed,Ihadnotheardofitbefore。Itmustbeveryinteresting。 Whatdoyoudoitwith?\" \"Ah,well——well——well——thisisdisheartening。Itoughttobedonewithaclubinsomecases;butcustomarilyitconsistsintheintervieweraskingquestionsandtheinterviewedansweringthem。Itisalltheragenow。 Willyouletmeaskyoucertainquestionscalculatedtobringoutthesalientpointsofyourpublicandprivatehistory?\" \"Oh,withpleasure——withpleasure。Ihaveaverybadmemory,butIhopeyouwillnotmindthat。Thatistosay,itisanirregularmemory—— singularlyirregular。Sometimesitgoesinagallop,andthenagainitwillbeasmuchasafortnightpassingagivenpoint。Thisisagreatgrieftome。\" \"Oh,itisnomatter,soyouwilltrytodothebestyoucan。\" \"Iwill。Iwillputmywholemindonit。\" \"Thanks。Areyoureadytobegin?\" \"Ready。\" Q。Howoldareyou? A。Nineteen,inJune。 Q。Indeed。Iwouldhavetakenyoutobethirty-fiveorsix。Wherewereyouborn? A。InMissouri。 Q。Whendidyoubegintowrite? A。In1836。 Q。Why,howcouldthatbe,ifyouareonlynineteennow? A。Idon\'tknow。Itdoesseemcurious,somehow。 Q。Itdoes,indeed。Whomdoyouconsiderthemostremarkablemanyouevermet? A。AaronBurr。 Q。ButyounevercouldhavemetAaronBurr,ifyouareonlynineteenyears! A。Now,ifyouknowmoreaboutmethanIdo,whatdoyouaskmefor? Q。Well,itwasonlyasuggestion;nothingmore。HowdidyouhappentomeetBurr? A。Well,Ihappenedtobeathisfuneraloneday,andheaskedmetomakelessnoise,and—— Q。But,goodheavens!ifyouwereathisfuneral,hemusthavebeendead,andifhewasdeadhowcouldhecarewhetheryoumadeanoiseornot? A。Idon\'tknow。Hewasalwaysaparticularkindofamanthatway。 Q。Still,Idon\'tunderstanditatall,Yousayhespoketoyou,andthathewasdead。 A。Ididn\'tsayhewasdead。 Q。Butwasn\'thedead? A。Well,somesaidhewas,somesaidhewasn\'t。 Q。Whatdidyouthink? A。Oh,itwasnoneofmybusiness!Itwasn\'tanyofmyfuneral。 Q。Didyou——However,wecannevergetthismatterstraight。Letmeaskaboutsomethingelse。Whatwasthedateofyourbirth? A。Monday,October31,1693。 Q。What!Impossible!Thatwouldmakeyouahundredandeightyyearsold。Howdoyouaccountforthat? A。Idon\'taccountforitatall。 Q。Butyousaidatfirstyouwereonlynineteen,andnowyoumakeyourselfouttobeonehundredandeighty。Itisanawfuldiscrepancy。 A。Why,haveyounoticedthat?(Shakinghands。)Manyatimeithasseemedtomelikeadiscrepancy,butsomehowIcouldn\'tmakeupmymind。 Howquickyounoticeathing! Q。Thankyouforthecompliment,asfarasitgoes。Hadyou,orhaveyou,anybrothersorsisters? A。Eh!I——I——Ithinkso——yes——butIdon\'tremember。 Q。Well,thatisthemostextraordinarystatementIeverheard! A。Why,whatmakesyouthinkthat? Q。HowcouldIthinkotherwise?Why,lookhere!Whoisthisapictureofonthewall?Isn\'tthatabrotherofyours? A。Oh,yes,yes,yes!Nowyouremindmeofit;thatwasabrotherofmine。That\'sWilliam——Billwecalledhim。PooroldBill! Q。Why?Ishedead,then? A。Ah!well,Isupposeso。Wenevercouldtell。Therewasagreatmysteryaboutit。 Q。Thatissad,verysad。Hedisappeared,then? A。Well,yes,inasortofgeneralway。Weburiedhim。 Q。Buriedhim!Buriedhim,withoutknowingwhetherhewasdeadornot? A。Oh,no!Notthat。Hewasdeadenough。 Q。Well,IconfessthatIcan\'tunderstandthis。Ifyouburiedhim,andyouknewhewasdeadA。No!no!Weonlythoughthewas。 Q。Oh,Isee!Hecametolifeagain? A。Ibethedidn\'t。 Q。Well,Ineverheardanythinglikethis。Somebodywasdead。Somebodywasburied。Now,wherewasthemystery? A。Ah!that\'sjustit!That\'sitexactly。Yousee,weweretwins—— defunct——andI——andwegotmixedinthebathtubwhenwewereonlytwoweeksold,andoneofuswasdrowned。Butwedidn\'tknowwhich。SomethinkitwasBill。Somethinkitwasme。 Q。Well,thatisremarkable。Whatdoyouthink? A。Goodnessknows!Iwouldgivewholeworldstoknow。Thissolemn,thisawfulmysteryhascastagloomovermywholelife。ButIwilltellyouasecretnow,whichIneverhaverevealedtoanycreaturebefore。 Oneofushadapeculiarmark——alargemoleonthebackofhislefthand; thatwasme。Thatchildwastheonethatwasdrowned! Q。Verywell,then,Idon\'tseethatthereisanymysteryaboutit,afterall。 A。Youdon\'t?Well,Ido。Anyway,Idon\'tseehowtheycouldeverhavebeensuchablunderinglotastogoandburythewrongchild。But,\'sh!—— don\'tmentionitwherethefamilycanhearofit。Heavenknowstheyhaveheartbreakingtroublesenoughwithoutaddingthis。 Q。Well,IbelieveIhavegotmaterialenoughforthepresent,andIamverymuchobligedtoyouforthepainsyouhavetaken。ButIwasagooddealinterestedinthataccountofAaronBurr\'sfuneral。WouldyoumindtellingmewhatparticularcircumstanceitwasthatmadeyouthinkBurrwassucharemarkableman? A。Oh!itwasameretrifle!Notonemaninfiftywouldhavenoticeditatall。Whenthesermonwasover,andtheprocessionallreadytostartforthecemetery,andthebodyallarrangedniceinthehearse,hesaidhewantedtotakealastlookatthescenery,andsohegotupandrodewiththedriver。 Thentheyoungmanreverentlywithdrew。Hewasverypleasantcompany,andIwassorrytoseehimgo。 PARISNOTES—— [Crowdedoutof\"ATrampAbroad\"tomakeroomformorevitalstatistics——M。T。] TheParisiantravelsbutlittle,heknowsnolanguagebuthisown,readsnoliteraturebuthisown,andconsequentlyheisprettynarrowandprettyself-sufficient。However,letusnotbetoosweeping;thereareFrenchmenwhoknowlanguagesnottheirown:thesearethewaiters。Amongtherest,theyknowEnglish;thatis,theyknowitontheEuropeanplan—— whichistosay,theycanspeakit,butcan\'tunderstandit。Theyeasilymakethemselvesunderstood,butitisnexttoimpossibletowordanEnglishsentenceinsuchawayastoenablethemtocomprehendit。Theythinktheycomprehendit;theypretendtheydo;buttheydon\'t。HereisaconversationwhichIhadwithoneofthesebeings;Iwroteitdownatthetime,inordertohaveitexactlycorrect。 I。Thesearefineoranges。Wherearetheygrown? He。More?Yes,Iwillbringthem。 I。No,donotbringanymore;Ionlywanttoknowwheretheyarefromwheretheyareraised。 He。Yes?(withimperturbablemienandrisinginflection。) I。Yes。Canyoutellmewhatcountrytheyarefrom? He。Yes?(blandly,withrisinginflection。) I。(disheartened)。Theyareverynice。 He。Goodnight。(Bows,andretires,quitesatisfiedwithhimself。) ThatyoungmancouldhavebecomeagoodEnglishscholarbytakingtherightsortofpains,buthewasFrench,andwouldn\'tdothat。Howdifferentisthecasewithourpeople;theyutilizeeverymeansthatoffers。TherearesomeallegedFrenchProtestantsinParis,andtheybuiltanicelittlechurchononeofthegreatavenuesthatleadawayfromtheArchofTriumph,andproposedtolistentothecorrectthing,preachedinthecorrectway,there,intheirpreciousFrenchtongue,andbehappy。Buttheirlittlegamedoesnotsucceed。OurpeoplearealwaysthereaheadofthemSundays,andtakeupalltheroom。Whentheministergetsuptopreach,hefindshishousefullofdevoutforeigners,eachreadyandwaiting,withhislittlebookinhishand——amorocco-boundTestament,apparently。Butonlyapparently;itisMr。Bellows\'sadmirableandexhaustivelittleFrench-Englishdictionary,whichinlookandbindingandsizeisjustlikeaTestamentandthose,peoplearetheretostudyFrench。Thebuildinghasbeennicknamed\"TheChurchoftheGratisFrenchLesson。\" Thesestudentsprobablyacquiremorelanguagethangeneralinformation,forIamtoldthataFrenchsermonislikeaFrenchspeech——itnevernamesahistoricalevent,butonlythedateofit;ifyouarenotupindates,yougetleft。AFrenchspeechissomethinglikethis: Comrades,citizens,brothers,noblepartsoftheonlysublimeandperfectnation,letusnotforgetthatthe21stJanuarycastoffourchains;thatthe10thAugustrelievedusoftheshamefulpresenceofforeignspies;thatthe5thSeptemberwasitsownjustificationbeforeheavenandhumanity;thatthe18thBrumairecontainedtheseedsofitsownpunishment;thatthe14thJulywasthemightyvoiceoflibertyproclaimingtheresurrection,thenewday,andinvitingtheoppressedpeoplesoftheearthtolookuponthedivinefaceofFranceandlive;andletushererecordoureverlastingcurseagainstthemanofthe2dDecember,anddeclareinthundertones,thenativetonesofFrance,thatbutforhimtherehadbeenno17thMarchinhistory,no12thOctober,no19thJanuary,no22dApril,no16thNovember,no30thSeptember,no2dJuly,no14thFebruary,no29thJune,no15thAugust,no31stMay——thatbutforhim,Francethepure,thegrand,thepeerless,hadhadasereneandvacantalmanactoday! IhaveheardofoneFrenchsermonwhichclosedinthisoddyeteloquentway: Myhearers,wehavesadcausetorememberthemanofthe13thJanuary。Theresultsofthevastcrimeofthe13thJanuaryhavebeeninjustproportiontothemagnitudeofthesetitself。Butforittherehadbeenno30November——sorrowfulspectacle!Thegrislydeedofthe16thJunehadnotbeendonebutforit,norhadthemanofthe16thJuneknownexistence;toitalonethe3dSeptemberwasdue,alsothefatal12thOctober。Shallwe,then,begratefulforthe13thJanuary,withitsfreightofdeathforyouandmeandallthatbreathe?Yes,myfriends,foritgaveusalsothatwhichhadnevercomebutforit,anditatone——theblessed25thDecember。 Itmaybewellenoughtoexplain,thoughinthecaseofmanyofmyreadersthiswillhardlybenecessary。Themanofthe13thJanuaryisAdam;thecrimeofthatdatewastheeatingoftheapple;thesorrowfulspectacleofthe30thNovemberwastheexpulsionfromEden;thegrislydeedofthe16thJunewasthemurderofAbel;theactofthe3dSeptemberwasthebeginningofthejourneytothelandofNod;the12thdayofOctober,thelastmountain-topsdisappearedundertheflood。WhenyougotochurchinFrance,youwanttotakeyouralmanacwithyou——annotated。 LEGENDOFSAGENFELD,INGERMANY [Leftoutof\"ATrampAbroad\"becauseitsauthenticityseemeddoubtful,andcouldnotatthattimebeproved——M。T。] Morethanathousandyearsagothissmalldistrictwasakingdom——alittlebitofakingdom,asortofdaintylittletoykingdom,asonemightsay。Itwasfarremovedfromthejealousies,strifes,andturmoilsofthatoldwarlikeday,andsoitslifewasasimplelife,itspeopleagentleandguilelessrace;itlayalwaysinadeepdreamofpeace,asoftSabbathtranquillity;therewasnomalice,therewasnoenvy,therewasnoambition,consequentlytherewerenoheart-burnings,therewasnounhappinessintheland。 InthecourseoftimetheoldkingdiedandhislittlesonHubertcametothethrone。Thepeople\'sloveforhimgrewdaily;hewassogoodandsopureandsonoble,thatbyandbyhislovebecameapassion,almostaworship。Nowathisbirththesoothsayershaddiligentlystudiedthestarsandfoundsomethingwritteninthatshiningbooktothiseffect: InHubert\'sfourteenthyearapregnanteventwillhappen;theanimalwhosesingingshallsoundsweetestinHubert\'searshallsaveHubert\'slife。Solongasthekingandthenationshallhonorthisanimal\'sraceforthisgooddeed,theancientdynastyshallnotfailofanheir,northenationknowwarorpestilenceorpoverty。Butbewareanerringchoice! Allthroughtheking\'sthirteenthyearbutonethingwastalkedofbythesoothsayers,thestatesmen,thelittleparliament,andthegeneralpeople。Thatonethingwasthis: Howisthelastsentenceoftheprophecytobeunderstood?Whatgoesbeforeseemstomeanthatthesavinganimalwillchooseitselfatthepropertime;buttheclosingsentenceseemstomeanthatthekingmustchoosebeforehand,andsaywhatsingeramongtheanimalspleaseshimbest,andthatifhechoosewiselythechosenanimalwillsavehislife,hisdynasty,hispeople,butthatifheshouldmake\"anerringchoice\"——beware! Bytheendoftheyeartherewereasmanyopinionsaboutthismatterastherehadbeeninthebeginning;butamajorityofthewiseandthesimplewereagreedthatthesafestplanwouldbeforthelittlekingtomakechoicebeforehand,andtheearlierthebetter。Soanedictwassentforthcommandingallpersonswhoownedsingingcreaturestobringthemtothegreathallofthepalaceinthemorningofthefirstdayofthenewyear。Thiscommandwasobeyed。Wheneverythingwasinreadinessforthetrial,thekingmadehissolemnentrywiththegreatofficersofthecrown,allclothedintheirrobesofstate。Thekingmountedhisgoldenthroneandpreparedtogivejudgment。Buthepresentlysaid: \"Thesecreaturesallsingatonce;thenoiseisunendurable;noonecanchooseinsuchaturmoil。Takethemallaway,andbringbackoneatatime。\" Thiswasdone。Onesweetwarblerafteranothercharmedtheyoungking\'searandwasremovedtomakewayforanothercandidate。Thepreciousminutesslippedby;amongsomanybewitchingsongstershefoundithardtochoose,andalltheharderbecausethepromisedpenaltyforanerrorwassoterriblethatitunsettledhisjudgmentandmadehimafraidtotrusthisownears。Hegrewnervousandhisfaceshoweddistress。Hisministerssawthis,fortheynevertooktheireyesfromhimamoment。 Nowtheybegantosayintheirhearts: \"Hehaslostcourage——thecoolheadisgone——hewillerr——heandhisdynastyandhispeoplearedoomed!\" Attheendofanhourthekingsatsilentawhile,andthensaid: \"Bringbackthelinnet。\" Thelinnettrilledforthherjubilantmusic。Inthemidstofitthekingwasabouttouplifthisscepterinsignofchoice,butcheckedhimselfandsaid: \"Butletusbesure。Bringbackthethrush;letthemsingtogether。\" Thethrushwasbrought,andthetwobirdspouredouttheirmarvelsofsongtogether。Thekingwavered,thenhisinclinationbegantosettleandstrengthen——onecouldseeitinhiscountenance。Hopebuddedintheheartsoftheoldministers,theirpulsesbegantobeatquicker,thescepterbegantoriseslowly,when:Therewasahideousinterruption! Itwasasoundlikethis——justatthedoor: \"Waw……he!waw……he!waw-he!-wawhe!-waw-he!\" Everybodywassorelystartled——andenragedathimselfforshowingit。 Thenextinstantthedearest,sweetest,prettiestlittlepeasant-maidofnineyearscametrippingin,herbrowneyesglowingwithchildisheagerness;butwhenshesawthataugustcompanyandthoseangryfacesshestoppedandhungherheadandputherpoorcoarseaprontohereyes。 Nobodygaveherwelcome,nonepitiedher。Presentlyshelookeduptimidlythroughhertears,andsaid: \"Mylordtheking,Iprayyoupardonme,forImeantnowrong。Ihavenofatherandnomother,butIhaveagoatandadonkey,andtheyareallinalltome。Mygoatgivesmethesweetestmilk,andwhenmydeargooddonkeybraysitseemstomethereisnomusicliketoit。~Sowhenmylordtheking\'sjestersaidthesweetestsingeramongalltheanimalsshouldsavethecrownandnation,andmovedmetobringhimhere——\" Allthecourtburstintoarudelaugh,andthechildfledawaycrying,withouttryingtofinishherspeech。Thechiefministergaveaprivateorderthatsheandherdisastrousdonkeybefloggedbeyondtheprecinctsofthepalaceandcommandedtocomewithinthemnomore。 Thenthetrialofthebirdswasresumed。Thetwobirdssangtheirbest,butthescepterlaymotionlessintheking\'shand。Hopediedslowlyoutinthebreastsofall。Anhourwentby;twohours,stillnodecision。 Thedaywanedtoitsclose,andthewaitingmultitudesoutsidethepalacegrewcrazedwithanxietyandapprehension。Thetwilightcameon,theshadowsfelldeeperanddeeper。Thekingandhiscourtcouldnolongerseeeachother\'sfaces。Noonespoke——nonecalledforlights。Thegreattrialhadbeenmade;ithadfailed;eachandallwishedtohidetheirfacesfromthelightandcoveruptheirdeeptroubleintheirownhearts。 Finally-hark!Arich,fullstrainofthedivinestmelodystreamedforthfromaremotepartofthehallthenightingale\'svoice! \"Up!\"shoutedtheking,\"letallthebellsmakeproclamationtothepeople,forthechoiceismadeandwehavenoterred。King,dynasty,andnationaresaved。Fromhenceforthletthenightingalebehonoredthroughoutthelandforever。Andpublishitamongallthepeoplethatwhosoevershallinsultanightingale,orinjureit,shallsufferdeath。 Thekinghathspoken。\" Allthatlittleworldwasdrunkwithjoy。Thecastleandthecityblazedwithbonfiresallnightlong,thepeopledancedanddrankandsang;andthetriumphantclamorofthebellsneverceased。 Fromthatdaythenightingalewasasacredbird。Itssongwasheardineveryhouse;thepoetswroteitspraises;thepainterspaintedit;itssculpturedimageadornedeveryarchandturretandfountainandpublicbuilding。Itwaseventakenintotheking\'scouncils;andnogravematterofstatewasdecideduntilthesoothsayershadlaidthethingbeforethestatenightingaleandtranslatedtotheministrywhatitwasthatthebirdhadsungaboutit。 II Theyoungkingwasveryfondofthechase。Whenthesummerwascomeherodeforthwithhawkandhound,oneday,inabrilliantcompanyofhisnobles。Hegotseparatedfromthembyandby,inagreatforest,andtookwhatheimaginedaneatcut,tofindthemagain;butitwasamistake。Herodeonandon,hopefullyatfirst,butwithsinkingcouragefinally。Twilightcameon,andstillhewasplungingthroughalonelyandunknownland。Thencameacatastrophe。Inthedimlightheforcedhishorsethroughatangledthicketoverhangingasteepandrockydeclivity。Whenhorseandriderreachedthebottom,theformerhadabrokenneckandthelatterabrokenleg。Thepoorlittlekinglaytheresufferingagoniesofpain,andeachhourseemedalongmonthtohim。 Hekepthisearstrainedtoheatanysoundthatmightpromisehopeofrescue;butheheardnovoice,nosoundofhornorbayofhound。Soatlasthegaveupallhope,andsaid,\"Letdeathcome,fourcomeitmust。\" Justthenthedeep,sweetsongofanightingalesweptacrossthestillwastesofthenight。 \"Saved!\"thekingsaid。\"Saved!Itisthesacredbird,andtheprophecyiscometrue。Thegodsthemselvesprotectedmefromerrorinthechoice。\" Hecouldhardlycontainhisjoy;hecouldnotwordhisgratitude。Everyfewmoments,nowhethoughthecaughtthesoundofapproachingsuccor。 Buteachtimeitwasadisappointment;nosuccorcame。Thedullhoursdriftedon。Stillnohelpcame——butstillthesacredbirdsangon。Hebegantohavemisgivingsabouthischoice,buthestifledthem。Towarddawnthebirdceased。Themorningcame,andwithitthirstandhunger; butnosuccor。Thedaywaxedandwaned。Atlastthekingcursedthenightingale。 Immediatelythesongofthethrushcamefromoutthewood。Thekingsaidinhisheart,\"Thiswasthetrue-bird——mychoicewasfalse——succorwillcomenow。\" Butitdidnotcome。Thenhelaymanyhoursinsensible。Whenhecametohimself,alinnetwassinging。Helistened-withapathy。Hisfaithwasgone。\"Thesebirds,\"hesaid,\"canbringnohelp;Iandmyhouseandmypeoplearedoomed。\"Heturnedhimabouttodie;forhewasgrownveryfeeblefromhungerandthirstandsuffering,andfeltthathisendwasnear。Intruth,hewantedtodie,andbereleasedfrompain。Forlonghourshelaywithoutthoughtorfeelingormotion。Thenhissensesreturned。Thedawnofthethirdmorningwasbreaking。Ah,theworldseemedverybeautifultothoseworneyes。Suddenlyagreatlongingtoliveroseupinthelad\'sheart,andfromhissoulwelledadeepandferventprayerthatHeavenwouldhavemercyuponhimandlethimseehishomeandhisfriendsoncemore。Inthatinstantasoft,afaint,afar- offsound,butoh,howinexpressiblysweettohiswaitingear,camefloatingoutofthedistance: \"Waw……he!waw……he!waw-he!——waw-he!——waw-he!\" \"That,oh,thatsongissweeter,athousandtimessweeterthanthevoiceofthenightingale,thrush,orlinnet,foritbringsnotmerehope,butcertaintyofsuccor;andnow,indeed,amIsaved!Thesacredsingerhaschosenitself,astheoracleintended;theprophecyisfulfilled,andmylife,myhouse,andmypeopleareredeemed。Theassshallbesacredfromthisday!\" Thedivinemusicgrewnearerandnearer,strongerandstrongerandeversweeterandsweetertotheperishingsufferer\'sear。Downthedeclivitythedocilelittledonkeywandered,croppingherbageandsingingashewent;andwhenatlasthesawthedeadhorseandthewoundedking,hecameandsnuffedatthemwithsimpleandmarvelingcuriosity。Thekingpettedhim,andhekneltdownashadbeenhiswontwhenhislittlemistressdesiredtomount。Withgreatlaborandpaintheladdrewhimselfuponthecreature\'sback,andheldhimselftherebyaidofthegenerousears。Theasswentsingingforthfromtheplaceandcarriedthekingtothelittlepeasant-maid\'shut。Shegavehimherpalletforabed,refreshedhimwithgoat\'smilk,andthenflewtotellthegreatnewstothefirstscouting-partyofsearchersshemightmeet。 Thekinggotwell。Hisfirstactwastoproclaimthesacrednessandinviolabilityoftheass;hissecondwastoaddthisparticularasstohiscabinetandmakehimchiefministerofthecrown;histhirdwastohaveallthestatuesandeffigiesofnightingalesthroughouthiskingdomdestroyed,andreplacedbystatuesandeffigiesofthesacreddonkey; and,hisfourthwastoannouncethatwhenthelittlepeasantmaidshouldreachherfifteenthyearhewouldmakeherhisqueenandhekepthisword。 Suchisthelegend。Thisexplainswhythemolderingimageoftheassadornsalltheseoldcrumblingwallsandarches;anditexplainswhy,duringmanycenturies,anasswasalwaysthechiefministerinthatroyalcabinet,justasisstillthecaseinmostcabinetstothisday;anditalsoexplainswhy,inthatlittlekingdom,duringmanycenturies,allgreatpoems,allgreatspeeches,allgreatbooks,allpublicsolemnities,andallroyalproclamations,alwaysbeganwiththesestirringwords: \"Waw……he!waw……,he!——wawhe!Waw-he!\" SPEECHONTHEBABIES ATTHEBANQUET,INCHICAGO,GIVENBYTHEARMYOFTHETENNESSEETOTHEIR FIRSTCOMMANDER,GENERALU。S。GRANT,NOVEMBER,1879 Thefifteenthregulartoastwas\"TheBabies——astheycomfortusinoursorrows,letusnotforgettheminourfestivities。\" Ilikethat。Wehavenotallhadthegoodfortunetobeladies。Wehavenotallbeengenerals,orpoets,orstatesmen;butwhenthetoastworksdowntothebabies,westandoncommonground。Itisashamethatforathousandyearstheworld\'sbanquetshaveutterlyignoredthebaby,asifhedidn\'tamounttoanything。Ifyouwillstopandthinkaminute——ifyouwillgobackfiftyoronehundredyearstoyourearlymarriedlifeandrecontemplateyourfirstbaby——youwillrememberthatheamountedtoagreatdeal,andevensomethingover。Yousoldiersallknowthatwhenthelittlefellowarrivedatfamily,headquartersyouhadtohandinyourresignation。Hetookentirecommand。Youbecamehislackey,hismerebodyservant,andyouhadtostandaround,too。Hewasnotacommanderwhomadeallowancesfartime,distance,weather,oranythingelse。Youhadtoexecutehisorderwhetheritwaspossibleormot。Andtherewasonlyoneformofmarchinginhismanualoftactics,andthatwasthedouble-quick。Hetreatedyouwitheverysortofinsolenceanddisrespect,andthebravestofyoudidn\'tdaretosayaword。Youcouldfacethedeath-stormatDonelsonandVicksburg,andgivebackblowforblow;butwhenheclawedyourwhiskers,andpulledyourhair,andtwistedyournose,youhadtotakeit。Whenthethundersofwarweresoundinginyourearsyousetyourfacestowardthebatteries,andadvancedwithsteadytread;butwhenheturnedontheterrorsofhiswar-whoopyouadvancedintheotherdirection,andmightygladofthechance,too。Whenhecalledforsoothing-syrup,didyouventuretothrowoutanysideremarksaboutcertainservicesbeingunbecominganofficerandagentleman?No。Yougotupandgotit。Whenheorderedhispap- bottleanditwasnotwarm,didyoutalkback?Notyou。Youwenttoworkandwarmedit。Youevendescendedsofarinyourmenialofficeastotakeasuckatthatwarm,insipidstuffyourself,toseeifitwasright——threepartswatertooneofmilk,atouchofsugartomodifythecolic,andadropofpepperminttokillthosehiccoughs。Icantastethatstuffyet。Andhowmanythingsyoulearnedasyouwentalong! Sentimentalyoungfolksstilltakestockinthatbeautifuloldsayingthatwhenthebabysmilesinhissleep,itisbecausetheangelsarewhisperingtohim。Verypretty,buttoothin——simplywindonthestomach,myfriends。Ifthebabyproposedtotakeawalkathisusualhour,twoo\'clockinthemorning,didn\'tyouriseuppromptlyandremark,withamentaladditionwhichwouldnotimproveaSunday-schoolbookmuch,thatthatwastheverythingyouwereabouttoproposeyourself?Oh! youwereundergooddiscipline,andasyouwentflutteringupanddowntheroominyourundressuniform,younotonlyprattledundignifiedbaby-