第3章

Onedayabenevolentphysician(whohadreadthebooks)havingfoundastraypoodlesufferingfromabrokenleg，conveyedthepoorcreaturetohishome，andaftersettingandbandagingtheinjuredlimbgavethelittleoutcastitslibertyagain，andthoughtnomoreaboutthematter。 Buthowgreatwashissurprise，uponopeninghisdooronemorning，somedayslater，tofindthegratefulpoodlepatientlywaitingthere，andinitscompanyanotherstraydog，oneofwhoselegs，bysomeaccident，hadbeenbroken。Thekindphysicianatoncerelievedthedistressedanimal，nordidheforgettoadmiretheinscrutablegoodnessandmercyofGod，whohadbeenwillingtousesohumbleaninstrumentasthepooroutcastpoodlefortheinculcatingof，etc。，etc。，etc。 SEQUEL Thenextmorningthebenevolentphysicianfoundthetwodogs，beamingwithgratitude，waitingathisdoor，andwiththemtwootherdogs-cripples。Thecrippleswerespeedilyhealed，andthefourwenttheirway，leavingthebenevolentphysicianmoreovercomebypiouswonderthanever。Thedaypassed，themorningcame。Thereatthedoorsatnowthefourreconstructeddogs，andwiththemfourothersrequiringreconstruction。Thisdayalsopassed，andanothermorningcame；andnowsixteendogs，eightofthemnewlycrippled，occupiedthesidewalk，andthepeopleweregoingaround。Bynoonthebrokenlegswereallset，butthepiouswonderinthegoodphysician\'sbreastwasbeginningtogetmixedwithinvoluntaryprofanity。Thesunroseoncemore，andexhibitedthirty-twodogs，sixteenofthemwithbrokenlegs，occupyingthesidewalkandhalfofthestreet；thehumanspectatorstookuptherestoftheroom。Thecriesofthewounded，thesongsofthehealedbrutes，andthecommentsoftheonlookingcitizensmadegreatandinspiringcheer，buttrafficwasinterruptedinthatstreet。Thegoodphysicianhiredacoupleofassistantsurgeonsandgotthroughhisbenevolentworkbeforedark，firsttakingtheprecautiontocancelhischurch-membership，sothathemightexpresshimselfwiththelatitudewhichthecaserequired。 Butsomethingshavetheirlimits。Whenoncemorethemorningdawned，andthegoodphysicianlookedoutuponamassedandfar-reachingmultitudeofclamorousandbeseechingdogs，hesaid，\"Imightaswellacknowledgeit，Ihavebeenfooledbythebooks；theyonlytelltheprettypartofthestory，andthenstop。Fetchmetheshotgun；thisthinghasgonealongfarenough。\" Heissuedforthwithhisweapon，andchancedtostepuponthetailoftheoriginalpoodle，whopromptlybithimintheleg。Nowthegreatandgoodworkwhichthispoodlehadbeenengagedinhadengenderedinhimsuchamightyandaugmentingenthusiasmastoturnhisweakheadatlastanddrivehimmad。Amonthlater，whenthebenevolentphysicianlayinthedeath-throesofhydrophobia，hecalledhisweepingfriendsabouthim，andsaid: \"Bewareofthebooks。Theytellbuthalfofthestory。Wheneverapoorwretchasksyouforhelp，andyoufeeladoubtastowhatresultmayflowfromyourbenevolence，giveyourselfthebenefitofthedoubtandkilltheapplicant。\" Andsosayingheturnedhisfacetothewallandgaveuptheghost。 THEBENEVOLENTAUTHOR Apoorandyoungliterarybeginnerhadtriedinvaintogethismanuscriptsaccepted。Atlast，whenthehorrorsofstarvationwerestaringhimintheface，helaidhissadcasebeforeacelebratedauthor，beseechinghiscounselandassistance。Thisgenerousmanimmediatelyputasidehisownmattersandproceededtoperuseoneofthedespisedmanuscripts。Havingcompletedhiskindlytask，heshookthepooryoungmancordiallybythehand，saying，\"Iperceivemeritinthis；comeagaintomeonMonday。\"Atthetimespecified，thecelebratedauthor，withasweetsmile，butsayingnothing，spreadopenamagazinewhichwasdampfromthepress。Whatwasthepooryoungman\'sastonishmenttodiscoverupontheprintedpagehisownarticle。\"HowcanIever，\"saidhe，fallinguponhiskneesandburstingintotears，\"testifymygratitudeforthisnobleconduct!\" ThecelebratedauthorwastherenownedSnodgrass；thepooryoungbeginnerthusrescuedfromobscurityandstarvationwastheafterwardequallyrenownedSnagsby。Letthispleasingincidentadmonishustoturnacharitableeartoallbeginnersthatneedhelp。 SEQUEL ThenextweekSnagsbywasbackwithfiverejectedmanuscripts。Thecelebratedauthorwasalittlesurprised，becauseinthebookstheyoungstrugglerhadneededbutonelift，apparently。However，heplowedthroughthesepapers，removingunnecessaryflowersanddiggingupsomeacresofadjectivestumps，andthensucceededingettingtwoofthearticlesaccepted。 Aweekorsodriftedby，andthegratefulSnagsbyarrivedwithanothercargo。Thecelebratedauthorhadfeltamightyglowofsatisfactionwithinhimselfthefirsttimehehadsuccessfullybefriendedthepooryoungstruggler，andhadcomparedhimselfwiththegenerouspeopleinthebookswithhighgratification；buthewasbeginningtosuspectnowthathehadstruckuponsomethingfreshinthenoble-episodeline。Hisenthusiasmtookachill。Still，hecouldnotbeartorepulsethisstrugglingyoungauthor，whoclungtohimwithsuchprettysimplicityandtrustfulness。 Well，theupshotofitallwasthatthecelebratedauthorpresentlyfoundhimselfpermanentlyfreightedwiththepooryoungbeginner。Allhismildeffortstounloadthiscargowentfornothing。Hehadtogivedailycounsel，dailyencouragement；hehadtokeeponprocuringmagazineacceptances，andthenrevampingthemanuscriptstomakethempresentable。 Whentheyoungaspirantgotastartatlast，herodeintosuddenfamebydescribingthecelebratedauthor\'sprivatelifewithsuchacaustichumorandsuchminutenessofblisteringdetailthatthebooksoldaprodigiousedition，andbrokethecelebratedauthor\'sheartwithmortification。 Withhislatestgasphesaid，\"Alas，thebooksdeceivedme；theydonottellthewholestory。Bewareofthestrugglingyoungauthor，myfriends。 WhomGodseesfittostarve，letnotmanpresumptuouslyrescuetohisownundoing。\" THEGRATEFULHUSBAND Onedayaladywasdrivingthroughtheprincipalstreetofagreatcitywithherlittleboy，whenthehorsestookfrightanddashedmadlyaway，hurlingthecoachmanfromhisboxandleavingtheoccupantsofthecarnageparalyzedwithterror。Butabraveyouthwhowasdrivingagrocery-wagonthrewhimselfbeforetheplunginganimals，andsucceededinarrestingtheirflightattheperilofhisown——[Thisisprobablyamisprint-M。T。]——Thegratefulladytookhisnumber，anduponarrivingatherhomesherelatedtheheroicacttoherhusband(whohadreadthebooks)，wholistenedwithstreamingeyestothemovingrecital，andwho，afterreturningthanks，inconjunctionwithhisrestoredlovedones，toHimwhosufferethnotevenasparrowtofalltothegroundunnoticed，sentforthebraveyoungperson，and，placingacheckforfivehundreddollarsinhishand，said，\"Takethisasarewardforyournobleact，WilliamFerguson，andifeveryoushallneeda，friend，rememberthatThompsonMcSpaddenhasagratefulheart。\"Letuslearnfromthisthatagooddeedcannotfailtobenefitthedoer，howeverhumblehemaybe。 SEQUEL WilliamFergusoncalledthenextweekandaskedMr。McSpaddentousehisinfluencetogethimahigheremployment，hefeelingcapableofbetterthingsthandrivingagrocer\'swagon。Mr。McSpaddengothimanunderclerkshipatagoodsalary。 PresentlyWilliamFerguson\'smotherfellsick，andWilliam——Well，tocutthestoryshort，Mr。McSpaddenconsentedtotakeherintohishouse。 Beforelongsheyearnedforthesocietyofheryoungerchildren；soMaryandJuliawereadmittedalso，andlittleJimmy，theirbrother。Jimmyhadapocketknife，andhewanderedintothedrawing-roomwithitoneday，alone，andreducedtenthousanddollars\'worthoffurnituretoanindeterminablevalueinratherlessthanthree-quartersofanhour。 Adayortwolaterhefelldown-stairsandbrokehisneck，andseventeenofhisfamily\'srelativescametothehousetoattendthefuneral。Thismadethemacquainted，andtheykeptthekitchenoccupiedafterthat，andlikewisekepttheMcSpaddensbusyhunting-upsituationsofvarioussortsforthem，andhuntingupmorewhentheyworetheseout。Theoldwomandrankagooddealandsworeagooddeal；butthegratefulMcSpaddensknewitwastheirdutytoreformher，consideringwhathersonhaddoneforthem，sotheyclavenoblytotheirgeneroustask。Williamcameoftenandgotdecreasingsumsofmoney，andaskedforhigherandmorelucrativeemployments——whichthegratefulMcSpaddenmoreorlesspromptlyprocuredforhim。McSpaddenconsentedalso，aftersomedemur，tofitWilliamforcollege；butwhenthefirstvacationcameandtheherorequestedtobesenttoEuropeforhishealth，thepersecutedMcSpaddenroseagainstthetyrantandrevolted。Heplainlyandsquarelyrefused。WilliamFerguson\'smotherwassoastoundedthatshelethergin-bottledrop，andherprofanelipsrefusedtodotheiroffice。Whensherecoveredshesaidinahalf-gasp，\"Isthisyourgratitude？Wherewouldyourwifeandboybenow，butformyson？\" Williamsaid，\"Isthisyourgratitude？DidIsaveyourwife\'slifeornot？Tellmethat!\" Sevenrelationsswarmedinfromthekitchenandeachsaid，\"Andthisishisgratitude!\" William\'ssistersstared，bewildered，andsaid，\"Andthisishisgrat——\" butwereinterruptedbytheirmother，whoburstintotearsandexclaimed，\"TothinkthatmysaintedlittleJimmythrewawayhislifeintheserviceofsuchareptile!\" ThenthepluckoftherevolutionaryMcSpaddenrosetotheoccasion，andherepliedwithfervor，\"Outofmyhouse，thewholebeggarlytribeofyou!Iwasbeguiledbythebooks，butshallneverbebeguiledagain——onceissufficientforme。\"AndturningtoWilliamheshouted，\"Yes，youdidsavemy，wife\'slife，andthenextmanthatdoesitshalldieinhistracks!\" Notbeingaclergyman，Iplacemytextattheendofmysermoninsteadofatthebeginning。Hereitis，fromMr。NoahBrooks\'sRecollectionsofPresidentLincolninScribnersMonthly: J。H。Hackett，inhispartofFalstaff，wasanactorwhogaveMr。 Lincolngreatdelight。Withhisusualdesiretosignifytoothershissenseofobligation，Mr。Lincolnwroteageniallittlenotetotheactorexpressinghispleasureatwitnessinghisperformance。 Mr。Hackett，inreply，sentabookofsomesort；perhapsitwasoneofhisownauthorship。HealsowroteseveralnotestothePresident。Onenight，quitelate，whentheepisodehadpassedoutofmymind，IwenttothewhiteHouseinanswertoamessage。 PassingintothePresident\'soffice，Inoticed，tomysurprise，Hackettsittingintheanteroomasifwaitingforanaudience。ThePresidentaskedmeifanyonewasoutside。Onbeingtold，hesaid，halfsadly，\"Oh，Ican\'tseehim，Ican\'tseehim；Iwasinhopeshehadgoneaway。\"Thenheadded，\"Nowthisjustillustratesthedifficultyofhavingpleasantfriendsandacquaintancesinthisplace。YouknowhowIlikedHackettasanactor，andhowIwrotetotellhimso。Hesentmethatbook，andthereIthoughtthematterwouldend。Heisamasterofhisplaceintheprofession，I suppose，andwellfixedinit；butjustbecausewehadalittlefriendlycorrespondence，suchasanytwomenmighthave，hewantssomething。Whatdoyousupposehewants？\"Icouldnotguess，andMr。Lincolnadded，\"well，hewantstobeconsultoLondon。Oh，dear!\" Iwillobserve，inconclusion，thattheWilliamFergusonincidentoccurred，andwithinmypersonalknowledge——thoughIhavechangedthenatureofthedetails，tokeepWilliamfromrecognizinghimselfinit。 AllthereadersofthisarticlehaveinsomesweetandgushinghouroftheirlivesplayedtheroleofMagnanimous-Incidenthero。IwishIknewhowmanythereareamongthemwhoarewillingtotalkaboutthatepisodeandliketoberemindedoftheconsequencesthatflowedfromit。 PUNCH，BROTHERS，PUNCH Willthereaderpleasetocasthiseyeoverthefollowinglines，andseeifhecandiscoveranythingharmfulinthem？ Conductor，whenyoureceiveafare，Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare! Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，Abufftripslipforasix-centfare，Apinktripslipforathree-cent，fare，Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare! CHORUS Punch，brothers!punchwithcare! Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare! Icameacrossthesejinglingrhymesinanewspaper，alittlewhileago，andreadthemacoupleoftimes。Theytookinstantandentirepossessionofme。Allthroughbreakfasttheywentwaltzingthroughmybrain；andwhen，atlast，Irolledupmynapkin，IcouldnottellwhetherIhadeatenanythingornot。Ihadcarefullylaidoutmyday\'sworkthedaybefore——thrillingtragedyinthenovelwhichIamwriting。Iwenttomydentobeginmydeedofblood。Itookupmypen，butallIcouldgetittosaywas，\"Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Ifoughthardforanhour，butitwasuseless。Myheadkepthumming，\"Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，abufftripslipforasix-centfare，\"andsoonandsoon，withoutpeaceorrespite。Theday\'sworkwasruined——Icouldseethatplainlyenough。Igaveupanddrifteddown-town，andpresentlydiscoveredthatmyfeetwerekeepingtimetothatrelentlessjingle。 WhenIcouldstanditnolongerIalteredmystep。Butitdidnogood； thoserhymesaccommodatedthemselvestothenewstepandwentonharassingmejustasbefore。Ireturnedhome，andsufferedalltheafternoon；sufferedallthroughanunconsciousandunrefreshingdinner； suffered，andcried，andjingledallthroughtheevening；wenttobedandrolled，tossed，andjingledrightalong，thesameasever；gotupatmidnightfrantic，andtriedtoread；buttherewasnothingvisibleuponthewhirlingpageexcept\"Punch!punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"BysunriseIwasoutofmymind，andeverybodymarveledandwasdistressedattheidioticburdenofmyravings——\"\'Punch!oh，punch! punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\" Twodayslater，onSaturdaymorning，Iarose，atotteringwreck，andwentforthtofulfilanengagementwithavaluedfriend，theRev。Mr——，towalktotheTalcottTower，tenmilesdistant。Hestaredatme，butaskednoquestions。Westarted。Mr——talked，talked，talkedasishiswont。Isaidnothing；Iheardnothing。Attheendofamile，Mr——said\"Mark，areyousick？Ineversawamanlooksohaggardandwornandabsent-minded。Saysomething，do!\" Drearily，withoutenthusiasm，Isaid:\"Punchbrothers，punchwithcare! Punchinthepresenceothepassenjare!\" Myfriendeyedmeblankly，lookedperplexed，theysaid: \"IdonotthinkIgetyourdrift，Mark。Thendoesnotseemtobeanyrelevancyinwhatyouhavesaid，certainlynothingsad；andyet——maybeitwasthewayyousaidthewords——Ineverheardanythingthatsoundedsopathetic。Whatis——\" ButIheardnomore。Iwasalreadyfarawaywithmypitiless，heartbreaking\"bluetripslipforaneight-centfare，bufftripslipforasix-centfare，pinktripslipforathree-centfare；punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Idonotknowwhatoccurredduringtheotherninemiles。However，allofasuddenMr——laidhishandonmyshoulderandshouted: \"Oh，wakeup!wakeup!wakeup!Don\'tsleepallday!HereweareattheTower，man!Ihavetalkedmyselfdeafanddumbandblind，andnevergotaresponse。Justlookatthismagnificentautumnlandscape!Lookatit!lookatit!Feastyoureyeonit!Youhavetraveled；youhaveseenboasterlandscapeselsewhere。Come，now，deliveranhonestopinion。 Whatdoyousaytothis？\" Isighedwearily；andmurmured: \"Abufftripslipforasix-centfare，apinktripslipforathree-centfare，punchinthepresenceofthpassenjare。\" Rev。Mr——stoodthere，verygrave，fullofconcern，apparently，andlookedlongatme；thenhesaid: \"Mark，thereissomethingaboutthisthatIcannotunderstand。Thoseareaboutthesamewordsyousaidbefore；theredoesnotseemtobeanythinginthem，andyettheynearlybreakmyheartwhenyousaythem。Punchinthe——howisittheygo？\" Ibeganatthebeginningandrepeatedallthelines。 Myfriend\'sfacelightedwithinterest。Hesaid: \"Why，whatacaptivatingjingleitis!Itisalmostmusic。Itflowsalongsonicely。Ihavenearlycaughttherhymesmyself。Saythemoverjustoncemore，andthenI\'llhavethem，sure。\" Isaidthemover。ThenMr——saidthem。Hemadeonelittlemistake，whichIcorrected。Thenexttimeandthenexthegotthemright。Nowagreatburdenseemedtotumblefrommyshoulders。Thattorturingjingledepartedoutofmybrain，andagratefulsenseofrestandpeacedescendeduponme。Iwaslight-heartedenoughtosing；andI didsingforhalfanhour，straightalong，aswewentjogginghomeward。 Thenmyfreedtonguefoundblessedspeechagain，andthepenttalkofmanyawearyhourbegantogushandflow。Itflowedonandon，joyously，jubilantly，untilthefountainwasemptyanddry。AsIwrungmyfriend\'shandatparting，Isaid: \"Haven\'twehadaroyalgoodtime!ButnowIremember，youhaven\'tsaidawordfortwohours。Come，come，outwithsomething!\" TheRev。Mr——turnedalack-lustereyeuponme，drewadeepsigh，andsaid，withoutanimation，withoutapparentconsciousness: \"Punch，brothers，punchwithcare!Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\" ApangshotthroughmeasIsaidtomyself，\"Poorfellow，poorfellow! hehasgotit，now。\" IdidnotseeMr——fortwoorthreedaysafterthat。Then，onTuesdayevening，hestaggeredintomypresenceandsankdejectedlyintoaseat。Hewaspale，worn；hewasawreck。Heliftedhisfadedeyestomyfaceandsaid: \"Ah，Mark，itwasaruinousinvestmentthatImadeinthoseheartlessrhymes。Theyhaveriddenmelikeanightmare，dayandnight，hourafterhour，tothisverymoment。SinceIsawyouIhavesufferedthetormentsofthelost。SaturdayeveningIhadasuddencall，bytelegraph，andtookthenighttrainforBoston。TheoccasionwasthedeathofavaluedoldfriendwhohadrequestedthatIshouldpreachhisfuneralsermon。 Itookmyseatinthecarsandsetmyselftoframingthediscourse。ButInevergotbeyondtheopeningparagraph；forthenthetrainstartedandthecar-wheelsbegantheir\'clack，clack-clack-clack-clack!clack-clack!—— clack-clack-clack!\'andrightawaythoseodiousrhymesfittedthemselvestothataccompaniment。ForanhourIsatthereandsetasyllableofthoserhymestoeveryseparateanddistinctclackthecar-wheelsmade。Why，Iwasasfaggedout，then，asifIhadbeenchoppingwoodallday。Myskullwassplittingwithheadache。ItseemedtomethatImustgomadifIsatthereanylonger；soIundressedandwenttobed。Istretchedmyselfoutinmyberth，and——well，youknowwhattheresultwas。Thethingwentrightalong，justthesame。 \'Clack-clackclack，abluetripslip，clack-clack-clack，foraneightcentfare；clack-clack-clack，abufftripslip，clackclack-clack，forasix-centfare，andsoon，andsoon，andsoonpunchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\'Sleep？Notasinglewink!IwasalmostalunaticwhenIgottoBoston。Don\'taskmeaboutthefuneral。IdidthebestI could，buteverysolemnindividualsentencewasmeshedandtangledandwoveninandoutwith\'Punch，brothers，punchwithcare，punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\'Andthemostdistressingthingwasthatmydeliverydroppedintotheundulatingrhythmofthosepulsingrhymes，andIcouldactuallycatchabsent-mindedpeoplenoddingtimetotheswingofitwiththeirstupidheads。And，Mark，youmaybelieveitornot，butbeforeIgotthroughtheentireassemblagewereplacidlybobbingtheirheadsinsolemnunison，mourners，undertaker，andall。ThemomentIhadfinished，Ifledtotheanteroominastateborderingonfrenzy。Ofcourseitwouldbemylucktofindasorrowingandagedmaidenauntofthedeceasedthere，whohadarrivedfromSpringfieldtoolatetogetintothechurch。Shebegantosob，andsaid: \"\'Oh，oh，heisgone，heisgone，andIdidn\'tseehimbeforehedied!\' \"\'Yes!\'Isaid，\'heisgone，heisgone，heisgone——oh，willthissufferingnevercease!\' \"\'Youlovedhim，then!Oh，youtoolovedhim!\' \"\'Lovedhim!Lovedwho？\' \"\'Why，mypoorGeorge!mypoornephew!\' \"\'Oh——him!Yes——oh，yes，yes。Certainly——certainly。Punch——punch——oh，thismiserywillkillme!\' \"\'Blessyou!blessyou，sir，forthesesweetwords!I，too，sufferinthisdearloss。Wereyoupresentduringhislastmoments？\' \"\'Yes。I——whoselastmoments？\' \"\'His。Thedeardeparted\'s。\' \"\'Yes!Oh，yes——yes——yes!Isupposeso，Ithinkso，Idon\'tknow!Oh，certainly——IwasthereIwasthere!\' \"\'Oh，whataprivilege!whatapreciousprivilege!Andhislastwords—— oh，tellme，tellmehislastwords!Whatdidhesay？\' \"\'Hesaid——hesaid-oh，myhead，myhead，myhead!Hesaid——hesaid——heneversaidanythingbutPunch，punch，punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!Oh，leaveme，madam!Inthenameofallthatisgenerous，leavemetomymadness，mymisery，mydespair!——abufftripslipforasix-centfare，apinktripslipforathree-centfare——endu——rancecannofur——thergo!——PUNCHinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\" Myfriend\'shopelesseyesresteduponmineapregnantminute，andthenhesaidimpressively: \"Mark，youdonotsayanything。Youdonotoffermeanyhope。But，ahme，itisjustaswell——itisjustaswell。Youcouldnotdomeanygood。Thetimehaslonggonebywhenwordscouldcomfortme。Somethingtellsmethatmytongueisdoomedtowagforevertothejiggerofthatremorselessjingle，There——thereitiscomingonmeagain:abluetripslipforaneight-centfare，abufftripslipfora——\" Thusmurmuringfaintandfainter，myfriendsankintoapeacefultranceandforgothissufferingsinablessedrespite。 HowdidIfinallysavehimfromanasylum？Itookhimtoaneighboringuniversityandmadehimdischargetheburdenofhispersecutingrhymesintotheeagerearsofthepoor，unthinkingstudents。Howisitwiththem，now？Theresultistoosadtotell。WhydidIwritethisarticle？ Itwasforaworthy，evenanoble，purpose。Itwastowarnyou，reader，ifyoushouldcameacrossthosemercilessrhymes，toavoidthem——avoidthemasyouwouldapestilence。 THEGREATREVOLUTIONINPITCAIRN Letmerefreshthereader\'smemoryalittle。NearlyahundredyearsagothecrewoftheBritishshipbountymutinied，setthecaptainandhisofficersadriftupontheopensea，tookpossessionoftheship，andsailedsouthward。TheyprocuredwivesforthemselvesamongthenativesofTahiti，thenproceededtoalonelylittlerockinmid-Pacific，calledPitcairn\'sIsland，wreckedthevessel，strippedherofeverythingthatmightbeusefultoanewcolony，andestablishedthemselvesonshore。 Pitcairn\'sissofarremovedfromthetrackofcommercethatitwasmanyyearsbeforeanothervesseltouchedthere。Ithadalwaysbeenconsideredanuninhabitedisland；sowhenashipdidatlastdropitsanchorthere，in1808，thecaptainwasgreatlysurprisedtofindtheplacepeopled。 Althoughthemutineershadfoughtamongthemselves，andgraduallykilledeachotheroffuntilonlytwoorthreeoftheoriginalstockremained，thesetragedieshadnotoccurredbeforeanumberofchildrenhadbeenborn；soin1808theislandhadapopulationoftwenty-sevenpersons。 JohnAdams，thechiefmutineer，stillsurvived，andwastolivemanyyearsyet，asgovernorandpatriarchoftheflock。Frombeingmutineerandhomicide，hehadturnedChristianandteacher，andhisnationoftwenty-sevenpersonswasnowthepurestanddevoutestinChristendom。 AdamshadlongagohoistedtheBritishflagandconstitutedhisislandanappanageoftheBritishcrown。 To-daythepopulationnumbersninetypersons——sixteenmen，nineteenwomen，twenty-fiveboys，andthirtygirls——alldescendantsofthemutineers，allbearingthefamilynamesofthosemutineers，andallspeakingEnglish，andEnglishonly。Theislandstandshighupoutofthesea，andhasprecipitouswalls。Itisaboutthree-quartersofamilelong，andinplacesisasmuchashalfamilewide。Sucharablelandasitaffordsisheldbytheseveralfamilies，accordingtoadivisionmademanyyearsago。Thereissomelivestock——goats，pigs，chickens，andcats；butnodogs，andnolargeanimals。Thereisonechurch-buildingusedalsoasacapitol，aschoolhouse，andapubliclibrary。Thetitleofthegovernorhasbeen，foragenerationortwo，\"MagistrateandChiefRuler，insubordinationtoherMajestytheQueenofGreatBritain。\"Itwashisprovincetomakethelaws，aswellasexecutethem。Hisofficewaselective；everybodyoverseventeenyearsoldhadavote——nomatteraboutthesex。 Thesoleoccupationsofthepeoplewerefarmingandfishing；theirsolerecreation，religiousservices。Therehasneverbeenashopintheisland，noranymoney。Thehabitsanddressofthepeoplehavealwaysbeenprimitive，andtheirlawssimpletopuerility。TheyhavelivedinadeepSabbathtranquillity，farfromtheworldanditsambitionsandvexations，andneitherknowingnorcaringwhatwasgoingoninthemightyempiresthatliebeyondtheirlimitlessoceansolitudes。Onceinthreeorfouryearsashiptouchedthere，movedthemwithagednewsofbloodybattles，devastatingepidemics，fallenthrones，andruineddynasties，thentradedthemsomesoapandflannelforsomeyamsandbreadfruit，andsailedaway，leavingthemtoretireintotheirpeacefuldreamsandpiousdissipationsoncemore。 Onthe8thoflastSeptember，AdmiraldeHorsey，commander-in-chiefoftheBritishfleetinthePacific，visitedPitcairn\'sIsland，andspeaksasfollowsinhisofficialreporttotheadmiralty: Theyhavebeans，carrots，turnips，cabbages，andalittlemaize； pineapples，figtrees，custard-apples，andoranges；lemons，andcocoanuts。Clothingisobtainedalonefrompassingships，inbarterforrefreshments。Therearenospringsontheisland，butasitrainsgenerallyonceamonththeyhaveplentyofwater，althoughattimesinformeryearstheyhavesufferedfromdrought。Noalcoholicliquors，exceptformedicinalpurposes，areused，andadrunkardisunknown…… Thenecessaryarticlesrequiredbytheislandersarebestshownbythosewefurnishedinbarterforrefreshments:namely，flannel，serge，drill，half-boots，combs，tobacco，andsoap。Theyalsostandmuchinneedofmapsandslatesfortheirschool，andtoolsofanykindaremostacceptable。IcausedthemtobesuppliedfromthepublicstoreswithaUnionjack:fordisplayonthearrivalofships，andapit-saw，ofwhichtheyweregreatlyinneed。This，I trust，willmeettheapprovaloftheirlordships。IfthemunificentpeopleofEnglandwereonlyawareofthewantsofthismostdeservinglittlecolony，theywouldnotlonggounsupplied…… DivineserviceisheldeverySundayat10。30A。M。andat3P。M。，inthehousebuiltandusedbyJohnAdamsforthatpurposeuntilhediedin1829。ItisconductedstrictlyinaccordancewiththeliturgyoftheChurchofEngland，byMr。SimonYoung，theirselectedpastor，whoismuchrespected。ABibleclassisheldeveryWednesday，whenallwhoconvenientlycanattend。ThereisalsoageneralmeetingforprayeronthefirstFridayineverymonth。 Familyprayersaresaidineveryhousethefirstthinginthemorningandthelastthingintheevening，andnofoodispartakenofwithoutaskingGod\'sblessingbeforeandafterward。Oftheseislanders\'religiousattributesnoonecanspeakwithoutdeeprespect。ApeoplewhosegreatestpleasureandprivilegeistocommuneinprayerwiththeirGod，andtojoininhymnsofpraise，andwhoare，moreover，cheerful，diligent，andprobablyfreerfromvicethananyothercommunity，neednopriestamongthem。 NowIcometoasentenceintheadmiral\'sreportwhichhedroppedcarelesslyfromhispen，nodoubt，andnevergavethematterasecondthought。Helittleimaginedwhatafreightoftragicprophecyitbore! Thisisthesentence: Onestranger，anAmerican，hassettledontheisland——adoubtfulacquisition。 Adoubtfulacquisition，indeed!CaptainOrmsby，intheAmericanshipHornet，touchedatPitcairn\'snearlyfourmonthsaftertheadmiral\'svisit，andfromthefactswhichhegatheredtherewenowknowallaboutthatAmerican。Letusputthesefactstogetherinhistoricalform。TheAmerican\'snamewasButterworthStavely。Assoonashehadbecomewellacquaintedwithallthepeople——andthistookbutafewdays，ofcourse——hebegantoingratiatehimselfwiththembyalltheartshecouldcommand。Hebecameexceedinglypopular，andmuchlookedupto；foroneofthefirstthingshedidwastoforsakehisworldlywayoflife，andthrowallhisenergiesintoreligion。HewasalwaysreadinghisBible，orpraying，orsinginghymns，oraskingblessings。Inprayer，noonehadsuch\"liberty\"ashe，noonecouldpraysolongorsowell。