第7章

类别:其他 作者:Honore de Balzac字数:9281更新时间:18/12/14 13:40:56
Iam,afterall,myfather\'sandmother\'sonlychild。Youhavemoretohopeforfrommethanfromanyoneelseintheworld——\" \"Certainly,mademoiselle,andyoumaycountonusforlifeordeath,\" exclaimedMariette,rejoicedattheunexpectedturnofaffairs。 \"Inthefirstplace,silenceforsilence,\"saidRosalie。\"IwillnotmarryMonsieurdeSoulas;butonethingIwillhave,andmusthave;myhelpandfavorareyoursononeconditiononly。\" \"Whatisthat?\" \"ImustseetheletterswhichMonsieurSavaronsendstothepostbyJerome。\" \"Butwhatfor?\"saidMarietteinalarm。 \"Oh!merelytoreadthem,andyouyourselfshallpostthemafterwards。 Itwillcausealittledelay;thatisall。\" Atthismomenttheywentintochurch,andeachofthem,insteadofreadingtheorderofMass,fellintoherowntrainofthought。 \"Dear,dear,howmanysinsarethereinallthat?\"thoughtMariette。 Rosalie,whosesoul,brain,andheartwerecompletelyupsetbyreadingthestory,bythistimeregardeditashistory,writtenforherrival。 Bydintofthinkingofnothingelse,likeachild,sheendedbybelievingthatthe/EasternReview/wasnodoubtforwardedtoAlbert\'slady-love。 \"Oh!\"saidshetoherself,herheadburiedinherhandsintheattitudeofapersonlostinprayer;\"oh!howcanIgetmyfathertolookthroughthelistofpeopletowhomthe/Review/issent?\" Afterbreakfastshetookaturninthegardenwithherfather,coaxingandcajolinghim,andbroughthimtothekiosk。 \"Doyousuppose,mydearlittlepapa,thatour/Review/iseverreadabroad?\" \"Itisbutjuststarted——\" \"Well,Iwillwagerthatitis。\" \"Itishardlypossible。\" \"Justgoandfindout,andnotethenamesofanysubscribersoutofFrance。\" TwohourslaterMonsieurdeWattevillesaidtohisdaughter: \"Iwasright;thereisnotoneforeignsubscriberasyet。TheyhopetogetsomeatNeufchatel,atBerne,andatGeneva。Onecopy,isinfact,senttoItaly,butitisnotpaidfor——toaMilaneseladyathercountryhouseatBelgirate,onLagoMaggiore。 \"Whatishername?\" \"TheDuchessed\'Argaiolo。\" \"Doyouknowher,papa?\" \"Ihaveheardabouther。ShewasbybirthaPrincessSoderini,aFlorentine,averygreatlady,andquiteasrichasherhusband,whohasoneofthelargestfortunesinLombardy。TheirvillaontheLagoMaggioreisoneofthesightsofItaly。\" Twodaysafter,MarietteplacedthefollowingletterinMademoiselledeWatteville\'shand:—— AlbertSavarontoLeopoldHannequin。 \"Yes,\'tisso,mydearfriend;IamatBesancon,whileyouthoughtIwastraveling。Iwouldnottellyouanythingtillsuccessshouldbegin,andnowitisdawning。Yes,mydearLeopold,aftersomanyabortiveundertakings,overwhichIhaveshedthebestofmyblood,havewastedsomanyefforts,spentsomuchcourage,Ihavemadeupmymindtodoasyouhavedone——tostartonabeatenpath,onthehighroad,asthelongestbutthesafest。Icanseeyoujumpwithsurpriseinyourlawyer\'schair! \"Butdonotsupposethatanythingischangedinmypersonallife,ofwhichyoualoneintheworldknowthesecret,andthatunderthereservations/she/insistson。Ididnottellyou,myfriend; butIwashorriblywearyofParis。Theoutcomeofthefirstenterprise,onwhichIhadfoundedallmyhopes,andwhichcametoabadendinconsequenceoftheutterrascalityofmytwopartners,whocombinedtocheatandfleeceme——me,thougheverythingwasdonebymyenergy——mademegiveupthepursuitofafortuneafterthelossofthreeyearsofmylife。Oneoftheseyearswasspentinthelawcourts,andperhapsIshouldhavecomeworseoutofthescrapeifIhadnotbeenmadetostudylawwhenI wastwenty。 \"Imadeupmymindtogointopoliticssolely,totheendthatI maysomedayfindmynameonalistforpromotiontotheSenateunderthetitleofComteAlbertSavarondeSavarus,andsoreviveinFranceagoodnamenowextinctinBelgium——thoughindeedIamneitherlegitimatenorlegitimized。\" \"Ah!Iknewit!Heisofnoblebirth!\"exclaimedRosalie,droppingtheletter。 \"YouknowhowconscientiouslyIstudied,howfaithfulandusefulI wasasanobscurejournalist,andhowexcellentasecretarytothestatesmanwho,onhispart,wastruetomein1829。FlungtothedepthsoncemorebytherevolutionofJulyjustwhenmynamewasbecomingknown,attheverymomentwhen,asMasterofAppeals,I wasabouttofindmyplaceasanecessarywheelinthepoliticalmachine,Icommittedtheblunderofremainingfaithfultothefallen,andfightingforthem,withoutthem。Oh!whywasIbutthree-and-thirty,andwhydidInotapplytoyoutomakemeeligible?Iconcealedfromyouallmydevotednessandmydangers。 Whatwouldyouhave?Iwasfulloffaith。Weshouldnothaveagreed。 \"Tenmonthsago,whenyousawmesogayandcontented,writingmypoliticalarticles,Iwasindespair;Iforesawmyfate,attheageofthirty-seven,withtwothousandfrancsformywholefortune,withoutthesmallestfame,justhavingfailedinanobleundertaking,thefounding,namely,ofadailypaperansweringonlytoaneedofthefutureinsteadofappealingtothepassionsofthemoment。Ididnotknowwhichwaytoturn,andIfeltmyownvalue!Iwanderedabout,gloomyandhurt,throughthelonelyplacesofParis——Pariswhichhadslippedthroughmyfingers—— thinkingofmycrushedambitions,butnevergivingthemup。Oh,whatfranticlettersIwroteatthattimeto/her/,mysecondconscience,myotherself!SometimesIwouldsaytomyself,\'WhydidIsketchsovastaprogrammeoflife?Whydemandeverything? Whynotwaitforhappinesswhiledevotingmyselftosomemechanicalemployment。\' \"IthenlookedaboutmeforsomemodestappointmentbywhichI mightlive。Iwasabouttogettheeditorshipofapaperunderamanagerwhodidnotknowmuchaboutit,amanofwealthandambition,whenItookfright。\'Would/she/everacceptasherhusbandamanwhohadstoopedsolow?\'Iwondered。 \"Thisreflectionmademetwo-and-twentyagain。But,oh,mydearLeopold,howthesouliswornbytheseperplexities!Whatmustnotthecagedeaglessuffer,andimprisonedlions!——TheysufferwhatNapoleonsuffered,notatSaintHelena,butontheQuayoftheTuileries,onthe10thofAugust,whenhesawLouisXVI。defendinghimselfsobadlywhilehecouldhavequelledtheinsurrection;asheactuallydid,onthesamespot,alittlelater,inVendemiaire。 Well,mylifehasbeenatormentofthatkind,extendingoverfouryears。HowmanyaspeechtotheChamberhaveInotdeliveredinthedesertedalleysoftheBoisdeBoulogne!Thesewastedharangueshaveatanyratesharpenedmytongueandaccustomedmymindtoformulateitsideasinwords。AndwhileIwasundergoingthissecrettorture,youweregettingmarried,youhadpaidforyourbusiness,youweremadelaw-clerktotheMaireofyourdistrict,aftergainingacrossforawoundatSaint-Merri。 \"Now,listen。WhenIwasasmallboyandtorturedcock-chafers,thepoorinsectshadoneformofstrugglewhichusedalmosttoputmeinafever。ItwaswhenIsawthemmakingrepeatedeffortstoflybutwithoutgettingaway,thoughtheycouldspreadtheirwings。Weusedtosay,\'Theyaremarkingtime。\'Nowwasthissympathy?Wasitavisionofmyownfuture?——Oh!tospreadmywingsandyetbeunabletofly!ThathasbeenmypredicamentsincethatfineundertakingbywhichIwasdisgusted,butwhichhasnowmadefourfamiliesrich。 \"Atlast,sevenmonthsago,IdeterminedtomakemyselfanameattheParisBar,seeinghowmanyvacancieshadbeenleftbythepromotionofseverallawyerstoeminentpositions。ButwhenI rememberedtherivalryIhadseenamongmenofthepress,andhowdifficultitistoachieveanythingofanykindinParis,thearenawheresomanychampionsmeet,Icametoadeterminationpainfultomyself,butcertaininitsresults,andperhapsquickerthananyother。InthecourseofourconversationsyouhadgivenmeapictureofthesocietyofBesancon,oftheimpossibilityforastrangertogetonthere,toproducethesmallesteffect,togetintosociety,ortosucceedinanywaywhatever。ItwastherethatIdeterminedtosetupmyflag,thinking,andrightly,thatI shouldmeetwithnoopposition,butfindmyselfalonetocanvassfortheelection。ThepeopleoftheComtewillnotmeettheoutsider?Theoutsiderwillmeetthem!Theyrefusetoadmithimtotheirdrawing-rooms,hewillnevergothere!Henevershowshimselfanywhere,noteveninthestreets!Butthereisoneclassthatelectsthedeputies——thecommercialclass。Iamgoingespeciallytostudycommercialquestions,withwhichIamalreadyfamiliar;Iwillgaintheirlawsuits,Iwilleffectcompromises,I willbethegreatestpleaderinBesancon。ByandbyIwillstarta/Review/,inwhichIwilldefendtheinterestsofthecountry,willcreatethem,orpreservethem,orresuscitatethem。WhenI shallhavewonasufficientnumberofvotes,mynamewillcomeoutoftheurn。Foralongtimetheunknownbarristerwillbetreatedwithcontempt,butsomecircumstancewillarisetobringhimtothefront——someunpaiddefence,oracasewhichnootherpleaderwillundertake。 \"Well,mydearLeopold,Ipackedupmybooksinelevencases,I boughtsuchlaw-booksasmightproveuseful,andIsenteverythingoff,furnitureandall,bycarriertoBesancon。Icollectedmydiplomas,andIwenttobidyougood-bye。ThemailcoachdroppedmeatBesancon,where,inthreedays\'time,Ichosealittlesetofroomslookingoutoversomegardens。IsumptuouslyarrangedthemysteriousprivateroomwhereIspendmynightsanddays,andwheretheportraitofmydivinityreigns——ofhertowhommylifeisdedicate,whofillsitwholly,whoisthemainspringofmyefforts,thesecretofmycourage,thecauseofmytalents。Then,assoonasthefurnitureandbookshadcome,Iengagedanintelligentman-servant,andthereIsatforfivemonthslikeahibernatingmarmot。 \"Mynamehad,however,beenenteredonthelistoflawyersinthetown。AtlastIwascalledonedaytodefendanunhappywretchattheAssizes,nodoubtinordertohearmespeakforonce!OneofthemostinfluentialmerchantsofBesanconwasonthejury;hehadadifficulttasktofulfil;Ididmyutmostfortheman,andmysuccesswasabsoluteandcomplete。Myclientwasinnocent;Iverydramaticallysecuredthearrestoftherealcriminals,whohadcomeforwardaswitnesses。Inshort,theCourtandthepublicwereunitedintheiradmiration。Imanagedtosavetheexaminingmagistrate\'spridebypointingouttheimpossibilityofdetectingaplotsoskilfullyplanned。 \"ThenIhadtofightacaseformymerchant,andwonhissuit。TheCathedralChapternextchosemetodefendatremendousactionagainstthetown,whichhadbeengoingonforfouryears;Iwonthat。Thus,afterthreetrials,IhadbecomethemostfamousadvocateofFranche-Comte。 \"ButIburymylifeinthedeepestmystery,andsohidemyaims。I haveadoptedhabitswhichpreventmyacceptinganyinvitations。I amonlytobeconsultedbetweensixandeightinthemorning;Igotobedaftermydinner,andworkatnight。TheVicar-General,amanofparts,andveryinfluential,whoplacedtheChapter\'scaseinmyhandsaftertheyhadlostitinthelowerCourt,ofcourseprofessedtheirgratitude。\'Monsieur,\'saidI,\'Iwillwinyoursuit,butIwantnofee;Iwantmore\'(startofalarmontheAbbe\'spart)。\'YoumustknowthatIamagreatloserbyputtingmyselfforwardinantagonismtothetown。Icamehereonlytoleavetheplaceasdeputy。Imeantoengageonlyincommercialcases,becausecommercialmenreturnthemembers;theywilldistrustmeifIdefend\"thepriests\"——fortothemyouaresimplypriests。IfIundertakeyourdefence,itisbecauseIwas,in1828,privatesecretarytosuchaMinister\'(againastartofsurpriseonthepartofmyAbbe),\'andMasterofAppeals,underthenameofAlbertdeSavarus\'(anotherstart)。\'Ihaveremainedfaithfultomonarchicalopinions;but,asyouhavenotthemajorityofvotesinBesancon,Imustgainvotesamongthecitizens。SothefeeIaskofyouisthevotesyoumaybeablesecretlytosecureformeattheopportunemoment。Letuseachkeepourowncounsel,andIwilldefend,fornothing,everycasetowhichapriestofthisdiocesemaybeaparty。Notawordaboutmypreviouslife,andwewillbetruetoeachother。\' \"Whenhecametothankmeafterwards,hegavemeanoteforfivehundredfrancs,andsaidinmyear,\'Thevotesareabargainallthesame。\'——Ihaveinthecourseoffiveinterviewsmadeafriend,Ithink,ofthisVicar-General。 \"NowIamoverwhelmedwithbusiness,andIundertakenocasesbutthosebroughttomebymerchants,sayingthatcommercialquestionsaremyspecialty。Thislineofconductattachesbusinessmentome,andallowsmetomakefriendswithinfluentialpersons。Soallgoeswell。WithinafewmonthsIshallhavefoundahousetopurchaseinBesancon,soastosecureaqualification。Icountonyourlendingmethenecessarycapitalforthisinvestment。IfI shoulddie,ifIshouldfail,thelosswouldbetoosmalltobeanyconsiderationbetweenyouandme。Youwillgettheinterestoutoftherental,andIshalltakegoodcaretolookoutforsomethingcheap,sothatyoumaylosenothingbythismortgage,whichisindispensable。 \"Oh!mydearLeopold,nogamblerwiththelastremainsofhisfortuneinhispocket,bentonstakingitattheCercledesEtrangersforthelasttimeonenight,whenhemustcomeawayrichorruined,everfeltsuchaperpetualringinginhisears,suchanervousmoistureonhispalms,suchafeveredtumultinhisbrain,suchinwardqualmsinhisbodyasIgothrougheverydaynowthatIamplayingmylastcardinthegameofambition。Alas!mydearandonlyfriend,fornearlytenyearsnowIhavebeenstruggling。 Thisbattlewithmenandthings,inwhichIhaveunceasinglypouredoutmystrengthandenergy,andsoconstantlywornthespringsofdesire,has,sotospeak,underminedmyvitality。Withalltheappearanceofastrongmanofgoodhealth,Ifeelmyselfawreck。Everydaycarrieswithitashredofmyinmostlife。AteveryfresheffortIfeelthatIshouldneverbeabletobeginagain。Ihavenopower,novigorleftbutforhappiness;andifitshouldnevercometocrownmyheadwithroses,the/me/thatisreallymewouldceasetoexist,Ishouldbearuinedthing。I shouldwishfornothingmoreintheworld。Ishouldwanttoceasefromliving。Youknowthatpowerandfame,thevastmoralempirethatIcrave,isbutsecondary;itistomeonlyameanstohappiness,thepedestalformyidol。 \"Toreachthegoalanddie,liketherunnerofantiquity!Toseefortuneanddeathstandonthethresholdhandinhand!Towinthebelovedwomanjustwhenloveisextinct!Tolosethefacultyofenjoymentafterearningtherighttobehappy!——Ofhowmanymenhasthisbeenthefate! \"ButtheresurelyisamomentwhenTantalusrebels,crosseshisarms,anddefieshell,throwinguphispartoftheeternaldupe。 ThatiswhatIshallcometoifanythingshouldthwartmyplan; if,afterstoopingtothedustofprovinciallife,prowlinglikeastarvingtigerroundthesetradesmen,theseelectors,tosecuretheirvotes;if,afterwranglinginthesesqualidcases,andgivingthemmytime——thetimeImighthavespentonLagoMaggiore,seeingthewatersshesees,baskinginhergaze,hearinghervoice——if,afterall,IfailedtoscalethetribuneandconquertheglorythatshouldsurroundthenamethatistosucceedtothatofArgaiolo!Nay,morethanthis,Leopold;therearedayswhenIfeelaheadylanguor;deepdisgustsurgesupfromthedepthsofmysoul,especiallywhen,abandonedtolongday-dreams,Ihavelostmyselfinanticipationofthejoysofblissfullove!Mayitnotbethatourdesirehasonlyacertainmodicumofpower,andthatitperishes,perhaps,ofatoolavisheffusionofitsessence?For,afterall,atthispresent,mylifeisfair,illuminatedbyfaith,work,andlove。 \"Farewell,myfriend;Isendlovetoyourchildren,andbegyoutoremembermetoyourexcellentwife——Yours,\"ALBERT。\" Rosaliereadthislettertwicethrough,anditsgeneralpurportwasstampedonherheart。ShesuddenlysawthewholeofAlbert\'spreviousexistence,forherquickintelligencethrewlightonallthedetails,andenabledhertotakeitallin。Byaddingthisinformationtothelittlenovelpublishedinthe/Review/,shenowfullyunderstoodAlbert。Ofcourse,sheexaggeratedthegreatness,remarkableasitwas,ofthisloftysoulandpotentwill,andherloveforAlbertthenceforthbecameapassion,itsviolenceenhancedbyallthestrengthofheryouth,thewearinessofhersolitude,andtheunspentenergyofhercharacter。Loveisinayounggirltheeffectofanaturallaw;butwhenhercravingforaffectioniscenteredinanexceptionalman,itismingledwiththeenthusiasmwhichoverflowsinayouthfulheart。ThusMademoiselledeWattevillehadinafewdaysreachedamorbidandverydangerousstageofenamoredinfatuation。TheBaronesswasmuchpleasedwithherdaughter,who,beingunderthespellofherabsorbingthoughts,neverresistedherwill,seemedtobedevotedtofeminineoccupations,andrealizedhermother\'sidealofadociledaughter。 ThelawyerwasnowengagedinCourttwoorthreetimesaweek。Thoughhewasoverwhelmedwithbusiness,hefoundtimetoattendthetrials,callonthelitigiousmerchants,andconductthe/Review/;keepinguphispersonalmystery,fromtheconvictionthatthemorecovertandhiddenwashisinfluence,themorerealitwouldbe。Butheneglectednomeansofsuccess,readingupthelistofelectorsofBesancon,andfindingouttheirinterests,theircharacters,theirvariousfriendshipsandantipathies。DideveraCardinalhopingtobemadePopegivehimselfmoretrouble? OneeveningMariette,oncomingtodressRosalieforaneveningparty,handedtoher,notwithoutmanygroansoverthistreachery,aletterofwhichtheaddressmadeMademoiselledeWattevilleshiverandreddenandturnpaleagainasshereadtheaddress: ToMadamelaDuchessed\'Argaiolo(neePrincesseSoderini) AtBelgirate,LagoMaggiore,Italy。 Inhereyesthisdirectionblazedasthewords/Mene/,/Tekel/,/Upharsin/,didintheeyesofBelshazzar。Afterconcealingtheletter,RosaliewentdownstairstoaccompanyhermothertoMadamedeChavoncourt\'s;andaslongastheendlesseveninglasted,shewastormentedbyremorseandscruples。ShehadalreadyfeltshameathavingviolatedthesecrecyofAlbert\'slettertoLeopold;shehadseveraltimesaskedherselfwhether,ifheknewofhercrime,infamousinasmuchasitnecessarilygoesunpunished,thehigh-mindedAlbertcouldesteemher。Herconscienceansweredanuncompromising\"No。\" Shehadexpiatedhersinbyself-imposedpenances;shefasted,shemortifiedherselfbyremainingonherknees,herarmsoutstretchedforhours,andrepeatingprayersallthetime。ShehadcompelledMariettetosimilarsetsofrepentance;herpassionwasmingledwithgenuineasceticism,andwasallthemoredangerous。 \"ShallIreadthatletter,shallInot?\"sheaskedherself,whilelisteningtotheChavoncourtgirls。Onewassixteen,theotherseventeenandahalf。Rosalielookeduponhertwofriendsasmerechildrenbecausetheywerenotsecretlyinlove——\"IfIreadit,\"shefinallydecided,afterhesitatingforanhourbetweenYesandNo,\"itshall,atanyrate,bethelast。SinceIhavegonesofarastoseewhathewrotetohisfriend,whyshouldInotknowwhathesaysto/her/?Ifitisahorriblecrime,isitnotaproofoflove?Oh,Albert!amInotyourwife?\" WhenRosaliewasinbedsheopenedtheletter,datedfromdaytoday,soastogivetheDuchessafaithfulpictureofAlbert\'slifeandfeelings。 \"25th。 \"MydearSoul,alliswell。TomyotherconquestsIhavejustaddedaninvaluableone:Ihavedoneaservicetooneofthemostinfluentialmenwhoworktheelections。Likethecritics,whomakeothermen\'sreputationsbutcannevermaketheirown,hemakesdeputiesthoughhenevercanbecomeone。Theworthymanwantedtoshowhisgratitudewithoutlooseninghispurse-stringsbysayingtome,\'WouldyoucaretositintheChamber?Icangetyoureturnedasdeputy。\' \"\'IfIevermakeupmymindtoenteronapoliticalcareer,\' repliedIhypocritically,\'itwouldbetodevotemyselftotheComte,whichIlove,andwhereIamappreciated。\' \"\'Well,\'hesaid,\'wewillpersuadeyou,andthroughyouweshallhaveweightintheChamber,foryouwilldistinguishyourselfthere。\' \"Andso,mybelovedangel,saywhatyouwill,myperseverancewillberewarded。ErelongIshall,fromthehighplaceoftheFrenchTribune,comebeforemycountry,beforeEurope。MynamewillbeflungtoyoubythehundredvoicesoftheFrenchpress。 \"Yes,asyoutellme,IwasoldwhenIcametoBesancon,andBesanconhasagedmemore;but,likeSixtusV。,Ishallbeyoungagainthedayaftermyelection。Ishallenteronmytruelife,myownsphere。Shallwenotthenstandinthesameline?CountSavarondeSavarus,AmbassadorIknownotwhere,maysurelymarryaPrincessSoderini,thewidowoftheDucd\'Argaiolo!Triumphrestorestheyouthofmenwhohavebeenpreservedbyincessantstruggles。Oh,myLife!withwhatgladnessdidIflyfrommylibrarytomyprivateroom,totellyourportraitofthisprogressbeforewritingtoyou!Yes,thevotesIcancommand,thoseoftheVicar-General,ofthepersonsIcanoblige,andofthisclient,makemyelectionalreadysure。 \"26th。 \"Wehaveenteredonthetwelfthyearsincethatblesteveningwhen,byalook,thebeautifulDuchesssealedthepromisesmadebytheexileFrancesca。You,dear,arethirty-two,Iamthirty-five; thedearDukeisseventy-seven——thatistosay,tenyearsmorethanyoursandmineputtogether,andhestillkeepswell!Mypatienceisalmostasgreatasmylove,andindeedIneedafewyearsyettorisetothelevelofyourname。Asyousee,Iamingoodspiritsto-day,Icanlaugh;thatistheeffectofhope。